Diagnosis Murder (1993–2001): Season 7, Episode 24 - Getting Mad, Getting Even - full transcript

MARK, JUST READ THE BLURB...

"BEHIND THE SCENES
WITH THE SEX-CRAZED
MEN AND WOMEN

WHO SPEND THEIR
DAYS AND NIGHTS
PLAYING DOCTOR."

IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE
MY CUP OF TEA.

YOU HAVE GOT
TO READ IT.

I DON'T KNOW, IT SOUNDS
PRETTY TRASHY, JESSE.

THAT'S WHY YOU
GOT TO READ IT.

SOMEBODY HAS
WRITTEN ABOUT US...

COMMUNITY GENERAL IS
BIG-CITY HOSPITAL.

WHAT, YOU'RE SEX-CRAZED?
I'M SEX-CRAZED?

I'M NOT SAYING
THAT DR. ANONYMOUS



DIDN'T TAKE A FEW LIBERTIES

YOU, ME, AMANDA, STEVE.

I COULDN'T PUT IT DOWN.

YOU THINK SOMEBODY HERE
IN THE HOSPITAL WROTE IT?

ABSOLUTELY.
SOMEBODY AT COMMUNITY GENERAL

IS TURNING US ALL
INTO LITERARY FODDER

AND, UH, I THINK WE SHOULD SUE.

I'D LEND YOU THIS COPY

BUT I ALREADY PROMISED IT
TO THAT CUTE NURSE IN O.B.

OH, HERE, LET ME
GIVE YOU A HAND.

OH, THANKS, MARK.

I'VE BEEN COLLECTING BOXES
ALL MORNING.

YEAH? WHY?

WELL, ACTUALLY,
THEY'RE FOR BRETT.



HE'S MOVING IN WITH ME.

BRETT?

BRETT HAYWARD.

THE MAN YOU HAD ARRESTED?

YES, THAT WAS
SO EMBARRASSING

AND WHAT A HUGE
MISTAKE THAT WAS.

THAT MUST HAVE MADE
AN INTERESTING FIRST DATE.

WELL, FORTUNATELY, WE CAN
LAUGH ABOUT IT NOW

BUT YOU KNOW, TRUTHFULLY

I THINK IT WAS
SORT OF KISMET.

WELL, THAT'S WONDERFUL.

I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.

DO YOU THINK I'M MOVING
A LITTLE TOO FAST?

WHAT I THINK DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU'RE BOTH ADULTS.

I KNOW IT SEEMS LIKE
WE JUST MET EACH OTHER

BUT IT'S... IT'S AS IF

WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER
ALL OUR LIVES.

I JUST WISH THAT
HE HAD MOVED
IN YESTERDAY.

SOMEBODY LEFT AN EXPLODING BOX
ON MY PORCH THIS MORNING.

A WHAT?

YEAH, I THOUGHT IT WAS FLOWERS.

I OPENED IT, AND THIS CONFETTI
EXPLODED IN MY FACE

AND THERE WAS A NOTE
INSIDE THAT SAID

"BANG! BANG! YOU'RE DEAD."

I HATE PRACTICAL JOKES.

DID YOU CALL THE POLICE?

NO, IT WAS JUST
A CHILDISH PRANK.

IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE
ANY CHILD I KNOW.

I THINK YOU OUGHT TO
TALK TO STEVE ABOUT IT.

I DON'T WANT TO MAKE
A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT.

I'M JUST SAYING THAT I WISH
THAT BRETT WERE THERE WITH ME.

MARK, I'M SO GLAD
YOU'RE HERE.

MADISON, DID YOU HEAR
THE HORRIBLE NEWS?

NO.

DR. HJORTSBERG
WAS MURDERED LAST NIGHT.

I'M SORRY.

MURDERED?

WELL, WE DIDN'T FIND
A MURDER WEAPON.

ASIDE FROM THE LAMP
BEING TURNED OVER

THERE WAS NO SIGN
OF A STRUGGLE.

DID THE DOCTOR EXPECT ANYONE
LAST NIGHT?

NO...

HIS LAST APPOINTMENT
WAS WITH MRS. RESNICK.

THAT WAS, UH, AT 5:30.

SHE LEFT AT 6:15.

THE DOCTOR TOLD ME I COULD LEAVE
AND THAT HE'D LOCK UP.

WELL, THEN, ANYONE COULD HAVE
COME IN HERE.

ANY DRUGS MISSING?

DEMEROL, PERCODAN, COCAINE.

COCAINE?

IT'S PHARMACEUTICAL GRADE.

PLASTIC SURGEONS
USE IT

IN NASAL SURGERY
TO DULL THE AREA.

WE KEEP IT
IN THAT MEDICINE
CABINET OVER THERE.

I'LL HAVE TO DO
AN INVENTORY,
BUT IT APPEARS

THAT SEVERAL BOTTLES
ARE MISSING.

THE GUY PROBABLY
FOUND A DOOR OPEN

FIGURED HE GOT
LUCKY, AND CAME IN

NOT KNOWING THE DOCTOR
WORKED LATE ON THURSDAYS.

DAMN ADDICTS...

A MILLION OF THEM AREN'T WORTH
ONE DR. HJORTSBERG.

Madison:
HERE, LET ME
GIVE YOU A HAND.

NOPE, I GOT IT.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

OH! DEGAS IS GOOD.

WHAT'S THIS?

OH...

YOU HAVE GREAT TASTE.

BILLIE HOLIDAY,
ANITA O'DAY...
FANTASTIC.

I GUESS I NEGLECTED
TO TELL YOU

THAT I, TOO,
HAVE GREAT TASTE.

AND THIS CHIC
THING HERE?

OKAY, THAT'S A REMINDER
OF MY WILD AND CRAZY YOUTH.

HANG ON A SECOND.

HUP!

OH... ONLY MY
FAVORITE FLOWERS.

YEAH? WELL, ALL RIGHT,
YOU DID TELL ME THAT.

YOU...

OH, YOU'RE CRUSHING THEM!

I'LL GET SOME MORE.

I HAD A GOOD YEAR.

MAKE THAT A WONDERFUL YEAR.

HEY, I HAVE A GIFT
FOR YOU, TOO.

YEAH?

YEAH.

YOU KNOW,
I SAID TO MYSELF

WHAT DO YOU GET
THE GUY WHO HAS
VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING...

ONE OF THESE
OR A ROLEX WATCH?

WELL, I'M CERTAINLY GLAD

THAT YOU OPTED FOR THE ROMANTIC
OVER THE PRACTICAL.

GET OVER HERE.

COME ON, NOW, IF
WE KEEP THIS UP

I'LL NEVER GET
DINNER MADE.

WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS BREAKFAST.

WHY DON'T YOU GO ON UPSTAIRS
AND UNPACK

SO I CAN IMPRESS YOU
WITH MY CULINARY SKILLS?

YOU BETTER. OKAY...

SALLY, I NEED A FILE ON
A PATIENT, JACK KURLAND, PLEASE.

DR. BENTLEY, HAVE YOU READ
BIG CITY HOSPITAL
YET?

UH, NO, SALLY. I HAVE BETTER
THINGS TO DO WITH MY TIME.

IS THERE A REASON
WHY I SHOULD READ THE BOOK?

WELL, IT IS ALL ABOUT
COMMUNITY GENERAL.

HMM...

ARE YOU SAYING
I'M IN THE BOOK?

I'M NOT IN THE BOOK.

I'M IN THE BOOK?!

HEY, DAD.

HI.

THE, UH, DRUGS
THAT WERE MISSING

FROM DR. HJORTSBERG'S
OFFICE TURNED UP

IN A DUMPSTER
TWO BLOCKS AWAY.

ALL OF THEM?

YEAH, APPARENTLY.

UNLESS SOME DRUGGIE
HAD AN EPIPHANY

WE'RE NOT LOOKING FOR AN ADDICT.

JUST SOMEBODY WHO WANTS
US TO THINK HE WAS.

DID THE NURSE
HAVE A CHANCE TO
CHECK THE FILES?

MM-HMM. SO FAR, THE ONLY THING
SHE FOUND WORTH MENTIONING

WAS SOME PHOTOS OF A PATIENT SHE
SWEARS SHE'S NEVER SEEN BEFORE.

THE, UH, NAME...
EDDIE DAGABOSIAN...

RINGS A BELL, BUT NOT THE FACE.

THAT COULD BE A HARD NAME
TO FORGET.

I THOUGHT THE SAME THING,
SO I PUT OUT AN A.P.B. ON HIM.

SEE YOU.

YEAH, SEE YOU.

PUT OUT AN A.P.B. ON THOSE
POTATO CHIPS WHILE YOU'RE AT IT.

SO THIS BOOK,
BIG CITY HOSPITAL...

YOU IN IT?

NO, NOT YET...
I'M REALLY TOO NEW...

BUT EVERYBODY ELSE IS, THOUGH.

YOU'VE GOT THE LEAD CHARACTER
WHO'S A FORENSICS DOCTOR

WHO CONSULTS
WITH HIS SON

WHO'S A PROMINENT
CRIMINAL ATTORNEY

AND THEN YOU HAVE
THE PATHOLOGIST

WHO'S A LATINA,
WHO'S A SINGLE MOTHER

AND THEN THERE'S
THE TRAUMA DOCTOR

WHO'S A VERY FLATTERING
VERSION OF JESSE.

OH, IT'S A SHAME
OLD DR. ANONYMOUS

DIDN'T WAIT TILL YOU SHOWED UP.

SEE, THAT WAY HE'D HAVE
A VERY BEAUTIFUL LADY DOCTOR

WHO EVERYBODY ELSE
COULD LUST AFTER.

OH, BELIEVE ME, THIS BOOK
IS NOT LACKING IN LUST.

IN FACT, I ACTUALLY WONDER
HOW THEY HAVE TIME

TO PERFORM A TONSILLECTOMY.

HEY, THAT'S MY CAR!

MAYBE IT'S JUST A SHORT.

OH, MY GOD! BRETT!

Brett:
MADISON, MADISON,
IT'S ALL RIGHT.

WHO IS DOING THIS?!
JESUS!

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

CALM DOWN. I'M HERE.

I'M HERE.

GOD, WHO IS DOING THIS?

I'M HERE.

WELL, THERE'S NO SIGN
OF A BREAK-IN.

I JUST DON'T USUALLY BOTHER
LOCKING MY GARAGE.

WELL, IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA
TO START.

YOU THINK IT WAS KIDS?

Mark:
NO, I DON'T.

FIRST, IT WAS
THAT EXPLODING BOX

AND NOW THIS.

WHAT EXPLODING BOX?

SOMEONE LEFT A BOX

FILLED WITH CONFETTI
ON MY FRONT PORCH AND...

IT BLEW UP IN MY FACE.

AND THERE WAS
A THREATENING
NOTE IN IT.

YOU HAVE THE NOTE?

NO. I THREW IT AWAY.

WELL, I GOT TO GO BUT I'LL
HAVE A COUPLE OF MY GUYS

KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR HOUSE
FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS.

THANKS.

I'LL SHOW YOU OUT.

I AM VERY, VERY SORRY
ABOUT THE DINNER

BUT BY THE TIME
WE PHONED THE POLICE

THE OSSO BUCO
WAS OSSO BRIQUETTES.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

I'M JUST SO GRATEFUL
THAT BRETT WAS HERE WITH ME.

THAT MAKES TWO OF US.

MMM.

Mark:
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT BRETT?

Jesse:
HE'S OKAY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I DON'T KNOW.

EVER SINCE HE CAME
INTO MADISON'S LIFE

FRIGHTENING THINGS HAVE
BEEN HAPPENING TO HER.

WELL, THEY WERE TOGETHER
IN THE KITCHEN

WHEN HER CAR ALARM WENT OFF.

YEAH...

BUT HE COULD'VE USED THE REMOTE.

MADISON WOULDN'T
HAVE NOTICED IT.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?

I THINK YOU'RE JEALOUS.

OH...

EVERYBODY
AT THE HOSPITAL

KNOWS YOU GOT A THING FOR HER.

I JUST HOPE
EVERYBODY AT THE HOSPITAL

DIAGNOSES THEIR PATIENTS
BETTER THAN THEY DO ME.

MADISON AND I
ARE JUST FRIENDS.

MM-HMM.

EXACTLY WHAT SOMEBODY

WHO IS SECRETLY IN LOVE
WITH SOMEONE WOULD SAY.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
YOU'VE GOT TO STOP

READING THAT BOOK
YOU'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT.

IF YOU'RE SO CONCERNED
ABOUT BRETT

WHY DON'T YOU HAVE STEVE
DO A BACKGROUND CHECK?

IF MADISON FOUND OUT...

WELL, I DON'T KNOW...

I MEAN, IF BRETT CHECKS OUT,
NO HARM, NO FOUL.

IF NOT, MADISON SHOULD KNOW.

UH... I CAN'T DO IT.

ALL RIGHT.

HEY, AMANDA.

YOU LIKE
MY NEW CAR?

OH, YEAH.

IT'S A BEAUT.

WHAT, YOUR MOVIE
SALE PAY FOR IT?

I'M A DOCTOR, I'M SINGLE,
I DON'T USE DRUGS.

I CAN AFFORD IT.

WE NEED TO TALK.

WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS?

APPARENTLY I AM,
EVER TO HAVE TRUSTED YOU

WITH A SECRET,
"DR. ANONYMOUS."

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

EVERYONE KNOWS
THAT YOU WROTE
THAT TRASHY BOOK

AND NOW THAT
I'VE READ IT

I KNOW YOU'VE
WRITTEN IT, TOO.

YOU'RE WRONG!

THE ONLY THING

I WAS WRONG ABOUT
WAS TRUSTING YOU WITH A SECRET!

WHAT SECRET?

MY AFFAIR WITH DR. MAGYAN.

WHO?!

OH, THE MARRIED SURGEON
FROM HUNGARY.

I DIDN'T KNOW

HE WAS MARRIED AT THE TIME.

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

I DIDN'T!

AMANDA, THE HORNY HUNGARIAN
EVEN WORE A WEDDING RING.

WELL, NOBODY BOTHERED TELLING ME
THAT SOMETIMES

EUROPEANS WEAR THEIR WEDDING
RING ON THEIR RIGHT HAND.

SO IT'S NOT ADULTERY IF YOU
DIDN'T KNOW THE GUY WAS MARRIED.

WHO'S TALKING ABOUT ADULTERY?

I'M TALKING ABOUT A FRIEND
WHO DIVULGES CONFIDENCES

JUST SO HE CAN SELL MORE COPIES
OF HIS TRASHY BOOK!

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO DENY
I'M DR. ANONYMOUS

BEFORE YOU BELIEVE ME?

IF YOU NEVER WANTED
TO BE FOUND OUT

YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE MADE
YOUR HERO JEFFREY TUCKER!

COME ON!

HANDSOME, TRAUMA SURGEON,
CATNIP TO WOMEN

HERO TO MEN.

JEFFREY TUCKER!

ARE YOU KIDDING?

YOU COULDN'T EVEN RESIST
USING YOUR OWN INITIALS

BUT THEN AGAIN,
YOU COULDN'T RESIST

MAKING HIM SIX-TWO,
EITHER, SO...

AMANDA, FOR THE LAST TIME

I SWEAR I DID NOT WRITE
THAT DAMN THING!

YOU DIDN'T WRITE
THE DAMN BOOK

AND I DIDN'T HAVE
THIS TORRID AFFAIR
WITH LAZLO MAGYAN.

RIGHT! RIGHT-O!

PARDON ME.

EXCUSE ME.

PARDON ME.

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY

BUT MR. SYLVESTER SAYS
THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO.

YOU HAVE NO FUNDS.

THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE.

IF I HAD FUNDS YESTERDAY

AND I DIDN'T SPEND ANYTHING

THEN THERE WOULD
BE FUNDS THERE TODAY.

YOUR LOGIC IS SOUND,
MS. WESLEY. HOWEVER...

THAT'S
DR. WESLEY

AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR
"HOWEVERS," MR. VANDERHOFFEN.

I WANT MY MONEY,
AND I WANT IT NOW.

THANK YOU.

AHA!

I SEE YOU FOUND IT.

IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING.

IT'S IN ZURICH.

LOOK VERY CLOSELY,
AND YOU WILL SEE

THAT I'M NOT AMUSED,
MR. VANDERHOFFEN.

I WANT MY MONEY.

THEN WHY DID YOU TRANSFER IT
TO SWITZERLAND?

I DID NO SUCH THING.

THERE WOULD BE NO REASON
TO DO THAT.

DR. WESLEY, ONLY YOU,
AND YOU ALONE

KNOW YOUR PASSWORD.

THEREFORE, ONLY YOU COULD

HAVE EFFECTED A TRANSFER
OF YOUR FUNDS.

LOGICAL?

PERFECTLY.

NOW, I SUGGEST
YOU CONTACT THE SWISS GNOMES

AND TELL THEM
I WANT MY MONEY BACK.

UNDERSTOOD?

UM... YES.

GOOD.

OH, NO, I...

IT'S LATE.

DR. ANONYMOUS

CAN I HAVE
YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

YEAH.

DON'T TELL THAT GUY.

HEY, DOC,
WILL YOU SIGN MINE

AS YOUR ALTER EGO?

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, I'M NOT
JEFFREY TUCKER.

I'M NOT DR. ANONYMOUS.

I'M NONE OF THOSE GUYS, OKAY?

EVERYONE'S
MAKING A BIG MIS...

WOULD YOU SIGN MINE?

SURE.

"TO BOOM-BOOM."

"BOOM-BOOM"?

IT'S, LIKE,
A NICKNAME.

OF COURSE IT IS.

SO, BOOM-BOOM,
WHAT CHAPTER

DID YOU LIKE THE BEST?

OH, HEY, MARK!

JESSE.

I GOT TO TALK TO YOU.

THEY'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY.

EVERYBODY!

WHO IS?

THEY ALL THINK

THAT I'M THIS
DR. ANONYMOUS GUY.

MEN ARE ENVIOUS OF ME

GORGEOUS WOMAN ARE
THROWING THEMSELVES AT ME.

OH, GEE, JESSE, I DIDN'T KNOW
THINGS GOT THAT BAD.

THE THING OF IT IS

THEY'RE NOT THROWING
THEMSELVES AT ME.

THEY'RE THROWING
THEMSELVES AT
DR. ANONYMOUS.

I'M JUST STANDING

IN THE WAY, AND
THE WORST THING
IS, AMANDA HATES ME.

SHE'S CONVINCED THAT
I BETRAYED HER CONFIDENCE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

YOU KNOW, MY ADVICE
IS TO JUST BE PATIENT.

AMANDA KNOWS YOU TOO WELL

TO THINK YOU'D REALLY
DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

YOU KNOW IT, AND I KNOW IT

BUT THERE'S AN ENTIRE HOSPITAL
OUT THERE

CONVINCING HER OTHERWISE.

MARK, I BARELY HAVE TIME
TO WRITE A PRESCRIPTION.

WHAT MAKES THE THINK
I HAVE THE TIME

TO WRITE
A 400-PAGE
BEST-SELLER?

"Dr. Sloan to the board
room. Dr. Sloan please report.."

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

WHO IS THIS PERSON
WHO'S ACCUSING DR. WESLEY?

I RECEIVED AN E-MAIL
FROM A STUDENT

WHO CHOSE TO
REMAIN ANONYMOUS.

WELL, I SHARE YOUR OPINION
OF ANONYMOUS ACCUSATIONS, MARK

BUT IN THIS CASE,
ONE CAN UNDERSTAND THE REASON.

IN ACCUSING
DR. WESLEY

OF TRADING SEX
FOR A PASSING GRADE

THE STUDENT CLEARLY
IMPLICATES HIMSELF.

OBVIOUSLY, IF HIS

IDENTITY WERE MADE KNOWN

HE COULD FACE EXPULSION
FROM MEDICAL SCHOOL.

HMM... DID THIS
ANONYMOUS PERSON EXPLAIN

WHY HE SUDDENLY IS BLOWING
THE WHISTLE ON DR. WESLEY?

YES, HE SAID THAT HE WANTS
TO SAVE OTHER STUDENTS

FROM FALLING
INTO HER WEB.

I DON'T BELIEVE THAT

AND I DON'T THINK
YOU SHOULD, EITHER.

WELL, THAT'S WELL AND GOOD, MARK

BUT THIS BOARD
HAS A RESPONSIBILITY

TO MAKE CERTAIN...

RIGHT NOW I SAID THE
RESPONSIBILITY OF THIS BOARD

IS NOT TO
GIVE CREDENCE

TO SCURRILOUS
RUMORS.

I MEAN,
THIS ISN'T SALEM

AND DR. WESLEY
IS NOT A WITCH.

THIS IS HARDLY A WITCH-HUNT,
MARK.

OH, ISN'T IT?

DO YOU RECALL AN EARLY OCCASION

WHEN YOU WERE ALL SO EAGER

TO BELIEVE A MALICIOUS RUMOR
ABOUT DR. WESLEY?

YOU RECALL WHAT IT WAS LIKE
EATING CROW A LA CARTE?

GOOD MORNING.

HOW COULD YOU?

HOW COULD I WHAT?

I THOUGHT
WE WERE FRIENDS.

WE ARE.
IT'S JUST THAT...

I AM NOT A HELPLESS
LITTLE GIRL, YOU KNOW

AND YOU ARE NOT

MY FATHER.

MADISON, LOOK,
I AM SORRY
I UPSET YOU

BUT I JUST COULDN'T
STAND BY AND WATCH

SOMEBODY TRY
AND RUIN YOUR
REPUTATION.

MY REPUTATION?
HOW DARE YOU.

WHAT EXACTLY IS IT
THAT YOU HAVE AGAINST BRETT?

BRETT?
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT BRETT.

ARE YOU GOING TO DENY

THAT YOU HAD STEVE
DO A BACKGROUND CHECK ON HIM?

MADISON, I'M SORRY.
I THOUGHT IT WOULDN'T HURT

TO KNOW A LITTLE BIT MORE
ABOUT THAT MAN.

I KNOW ALL I NEED TO KNOW.

I WAS TRYING TO BE A FRIEND.

FRIENDS WANT
WHAT'S BEST FOR EACH OTHER

AND IF YOU CAN'T SEE
THAT HE'S THE BEST THING

THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME,
THEN, OBVIOUSLY

YOU...

YOU'RE NOT THE FRIEND
I THOUGHT YOU WERE.

THAT'S ALWAYS THE RISK

WITH RUNNING
BACKGROUND CHECKS, DAD.

YOU CAN'T SWEAR PEOPLE
TO SECRECY

AND ONCE YOU START ASKING
QUESTIONS...

YEAH, I SUPPOSE.

DID YOU AT LEAST
FIND OUT ANYTHING?

NO. THE ONLY THING I KNOW IS

THAT MR. BRETT HAYWARD
DOESN'T LEAVE A LOT OF TRACKS.

YOU WANT ME TO KEEP HUNTING?

NO, I GUESS NOT,
'CAUSE IF MADISON EVER FOUND OUT

SHE'D NEVER FORGIVE ME.

AS IT IS...

WELL...

HOW'S THE, UH...
YOU HAVE SOME LUNCH?

NAH, I'M NOT HUNGRY.

HUH...

SO, HOW'S THE HJORTSBERG
MURDER INVESTIGATION GOING?

WELL, THE MAN NOT ONLY
DIDN'T HAVE ANY ENEMIES

YOU CAN'T FIND ANYBODY THAT
WILL SAY A BAD WORD ABOUT HIM.

YOU ASK PEOPLE WHAT HE'S LIKE

YOU GET A TEN-MINUTE
TESTIMONIAL.

HE WASN'T KILLED
FOR DRUGS OR MONEY.

IT'S LIKE THE GUY WAS
AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER

BUT SOMEBODY HAD A GRIEVANCE,
OTHERWISE, WHY'D THEY KILL HIM?

WHAT ABOUT THE GUY
THE NURSE DIDN'T RECOGNIZE?

RIGHT.

EDDIE DAGABOSIAN?

TURNS OUT HE WAS
A SMALL-TIME CROOK.

THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS,
HE'S BEEN BUSTED A COUPLE TIMES

FOR FENCING
STOLEN PROPERTY.

AN INFORMANT OF MINE
THINKS HE KNOWS

WHERE HE'S GOING TO BE
AT 4:00.

SO, I, UH, BETTER GET GOING.

YOU GOING TO EAT THOSE?

NO, UH, PROBABLY NOT.

OKAY. SEE YOU.

HE GIVES NEW MEANING
TO THE WORD FAST FOOD.

CAN I HAVE SOME MORE FRIES?

HE'S STILL INSIDE,
LIEUTENANT.

YOU TAKE THE BACK;
YOU COME WITH ME.

YES, SIR.

Officer:
HERE HE COMES.

Steve:
YEAH, AND THERE HE GOES.

Officer:
OH, RIGHT IN THE FERTILIZER.

WHY WERE YOU CHASING ME?!

BECAUSE YOU
WERE... RUNNING.

BECAUSE YOU WERE
CHASING ME!

BECAUSE YOU
WERE RU...
NEVER MIND.

LET'S GO.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY IT

ONE MORE TIME, EDDIE.

I TOLD YOU, I NEVER EVEN HEARD
OF THIS DR. HORSEBIRD.

HJORTSBERG.

SEE, I CAN'T EVEN SAY
HIS DAMN NAME

AND YOU THINK
I KILLED THE GUY.

HUMOR ME.
WHERE WERE YOU

LAST THURSDAY
AT ABOUT 7:00 P.M.?

WHO KEEPS TRACK?

CHECK WITH
MY SECRETARY.

I'M TALKING ABOUT
FIRST-DEGREE MURDER HERE, EDDIE

AND RIGHT NOW,
YOU ARE MY PRIME CANDIDATE.

I AM A LOT OF THINGS,
BUT I AM NO MURDERER.

JUST LOOK UP MY RECORD.

OH, I HAVE. YOU STARTED
WITH PETTY THEFT

THEN YOU, UH,
MOVED UP TO BURGLARY

AND THEN YOU BECAME A FENCE.

TO ME, EDDIE, THAT LOOKS LIKE

A MAN WORKING HIS WAY UP
THE FELONY LADDER.

BUT NOT ALL THE WAY TO MURDER.

BOY, YOU MUST BE REALLY HARD UP
FOR A FALL GUY.

YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT,
EDDIE

AND THIS TIME,
WITHOUT THE ATTITUDE.

NOW, WHERE WERE YOU
LAST THURSDAY AT 7:00 P.M.?

I WAS UNLOADING A SHIPMENT

OF ELECTRIC GUITARS
AND AMPLIFIERS.

A SHIPMENT?

A TRUCKLOAD.

BOY.

YOU WANT TO KNOW

WHAT THE TROUBLE
WITH THIS COUNTRY IS?

IT'S ALWAYS.

HMM, TELL ME.

THE SMALL BUSINESSMAN
THAT GETS IT IN THE NECK.

BY THE WAY, EDDIE, HAVE YOU, UH,
EVER HAD ANY PLASTIC SURGERY?

IS THAT SOME KIND OF CRACK?

Madison:
THE HALLMARK
OF MALARIAL INFECTION

IS A TRIAD
OF SPLENIC ENLARGEMENT

INTERMITTENT FEVER AND ANEMIA.

YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHY IT'S
SO OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR INFLUENZA.

THE INCUBATION PERIOD
TYPICALLY RANGES

FROM TEN TO 40 DAYS, BUT...

CAN BE AS LONG AS A YEAR.

VIVAX, OVALE AND MALARIAE
ALL CAUSE

THE BENIGN TYPE OF MALARIA

WHICH BECOMES PROGRESSIVELY
LESS SYMPTOMATIC OVER TIME.

Brett:
MADDY

THERE IS NO WAY
THAT ANYBODY'S GOING TO BELIEVE

THAT YOU WOULD TRADE SEX
FOR GRADES...

NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.

DON'T KID YOURSELF.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR AND REPEAT.

WELL, I'M NOT GOING
TO BELIEVE IT, ALL RIGHT?

AND NEITHER IS
ANYBODY THAT KNOWS YOU.

THEY'RE NOT GOING
TO BELIEVE IT, EITHER.

THANK GOD FOR YOU.

WELL, WHAT WE HAVE TO DO
IS WE HAVE TO FIND OUT

WHO WOULD HAVE A REASON TO DO
ALL THIS CRAZY STUFF TO YOU.

BUT WHY WOULD ANYONE
WANT TO BE SO CRUEL TO ME?

I MEAN, WHAT'S NEXT,
A RATTLESNAKE IN MY MAILBOX?

WHO COULD HATE ME THIS MUCH?

HAVE YOU EVER HURT ANYBODY?

I MEAN, REALLY,
REALLY HURT ANYBODY?

I'M SURE THAT I HAVE,
BUT WHO HASN'T?

BUT NEVER INTENTIONALLY CRUEL

AND CERTAINLY NOTHING

TO JUSTIFY
THIS CAMPAIGN AGAINST ME.

LET ME TELL YOU
A LITTLE STORY, OKAY?

A WHILE BACK, I WENT
TO MY 20th HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.

THIS WOMAN MARCHES UP TO ME,
SHE'S MAD AS A HORNET

AND SHE TELLS ME
FOR THE LONGEST TIME

SHE HAS JUST HATED MY GUTS.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
WHO SHE WAS.

WELL, IT TURNS OUT THAT SHE WAS
A CLASSMATE OF MINE.

SHE HAD A CRUSH ON ME.

SHE THOUGHT
THAT I HAD A
CRUSH ON HER.

WELL, WHEN I DIDN'T INVITE HER
TO THE SENIOR PROM

SHE WAS DEVASTATED.

SHE WENT HOME AND SHE STAYED
IN BED FOR A WEEK.

SHE SAYS, STILL, TO THIS DAY,
THAT I RUINED HER LIFE

AND, MADDY, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
WHO SHE WAS.

WELL, YOU WEREN'T RESPONSIBLE
FOR HOW SHE FELT.

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

SEE, THAT'S THE...
THAT'S THE POINT

BECAUSE IF SHE
WERE STALKING ME

THEN I DON'T THINK
ANYBODY WOULD MAKE
THE CONNECTION.

SO IS THERE
ANYBODY ANYWHERE

THAT MAYBE WOULD HOLD A GRUDGE
LIKE THAT AGAINST YOU?

WELL, THE ONLY THING...

NO, I... I CAN'T.

MADDY, COME ON.

I'M NOT GOING TO JUDGE YOU.

TELL ME. WHAT IS IT?

WELL, IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.

IT WAS
AT THE PUBLIC HEALTH SCHOOL

AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN

AND THERE WAS A STUDENT THERE
NAMED CONNIE HUDSON

WHO WAS UP FOR A GRANT.

SHE TURNED IN A RESEARCH PAPER

AND ONE OF THE MEMBERS
OF THE GRANT COMMITTEE...

PROFESSOR GERARD...
ASKED ME TO READ IT.

WHY?

HE THOUGHT SHE HAD
COMMITTED PLAGIARISM.

HE WAS AN
EXCELLENT PROFESSOR...

JUST, HE DIDN'T READ
ALL THE LATEST ARTICLES.

BUT YOU DID.

YES, I READ EVERYTHING

I COULD GET MY HANDS ON

AND ONE OF THEM WAS THIS ARTICLE

WRITTEN BY
AN ENGLISH CARDIOLOGIST

NAMED CHANNING.

SO I READ CONNIE'S PAPER

AND IT SHOCKED ME.

SHE BARELY BOTHERED
TO CHANGE A WORD.

SO YOU TURNED HER IN.

I HAD NO CHOICE.

WELL, THAT DOESN'T SEEM

LIKE SUCH A TERRIBLE THING
TO ME.

ACTUALLY, IT TURNED OUT
QUITE HORRIBLY.

WHEN SHE DIDN'T GET THE GRANT

SHE WENT OUT
AND SHE COMMITTED SUICIDE

AND I WAS DEVASTATED.

OH, MADDY.

SHE WAS A
BRILLIANT GIRL.

I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND

WHY SHE COMMITTED
PLAGIARISM.

WELL, MAYBE SHE HAD

NEVER EVEN HEARD
OF THIS CHANNING.

OH, DON'T BE
RIDICULOUS.

SHE COPIED EVERY
PARAGRAPH VERBATIM.

ALL RIGHT.
WELL, SHE'S DEAD, ANYWAY

SO SHE CAN'T BE
THE ONE WHO'S STALKING YOU.

UH, HEY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

I WANT YOU TO HAVE THIS.

NO, I HATE GUNS!

YOU NEED PROTECTION,
AND I CAN'T BE AROUND

TO PROTECT YOU
ALL THE TIME.

I COULDN'T SHOOT
ANYBODY! BRETT...!

LISTEN, I'LL JUST... HERE.

I'LL PUT IT
IN THE NIGHTSTAND

FOR MY OWN PIECE OF MIND.

IT'S RIGHT THERE.

COME ON.

I CAN'T WAIT TILL
THIS NIGHTMARE IS OVER.

IT'LL BE OVER SOON,
I PROMISE.

I wrote the book as a lark.

I never expected it
to get published.

After it did, I still had
no intention of going public.

Once that jerk doctor
from Los Angeles

started saying
that he wrote the book

I had no option
but to come clean.

WHAT? I...

OH, COME ON. YOU KNOW,
I DIDN'T...

I DIDN'T TELL...

TECHNICALLY... I TOLD YOU.

BOOM-BOOM?

I'M SORRY.

WHY? THAT THE VILLAGERS

DIDN'T COME AFTER ME
WITH PITCHFORKS AND TORCHES?

NO, I'M SORRY
I DIDN'T BELIEVE YOU

AND I'M SORRY
THAT I WAS NO BETTER

THAN THE REST OF THEM.

JESSE, I DON'T FEEL
LIKE I DON'T DESERVE

TO HAVE YOU AS A FRIEND.

SAYS WHO?

STAY AWAY FROM ME!

STAY AWAY FROM ME!

I'VE GOT A GUN!

I'LL SHOOT YOU!

OH! OH!

Brett:
MADISON, I'M HOME, SWEETHEART.

BRETT, THANK GOD
YOU'RE HERE.

WHAT? WHAT'S THE MATTER?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH THAT?

I JUST SHOT A MAN

AN INTRUDER
IN THE BEDROOM.

CALL 911.

BE CAREFUL.

MAKE THE CALL
NOW! CALL 911!

MADDY...

MADDY, DID YOU CALL
THE POLICE YET?

THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY.

I THINK YOU SHOULD
COME UP AND TAKE A LOOK.

I'D RATHER NOT.

I REALLY, REALLY THINK
YOU SHOULD.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I SHOT A MAN.

I SAW HIM FALL RIGHT THERE.

YOU SHOT HIM WITH THIS GUN?

MADDY, UH... THIS GUN...

IT HASN'T BEEN FIRED.

HERE YOU GO, MADDY.

DRINK A LITTLE OF THIS.

THANK YOU.

LIEUTENANT?

FIND ANYTHING?

NO SIGN OF FORCED ENTRY

NO FOOTPRINTS OUTSIDE.

NONE OF THE NEIGHBORS
HEARD ANYTHING BUT THE WIND.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

NO VICTIM, NO BLOOD.

THE GUN HAS DEFINITELY
NOT BEEN FIRED.

FRANKLY, LIEUTENANT,
THIS DOESN'T LOOK

LIKE ANY CRIME SCENE
I'VE EVER COME ACROSS.

ALL RIGHT. THANKS.

YOU'VE GOT
TO BELIEVE ME.

MADISON, WE'VE ALL HAD DREAMS
THAT SEEMED ABSOLUTELY REAL.

IT WAS A NIGHTMARE,
BUT NOT THE KIND YOU MEAN.

I KILLED A MAN.

YOU HEARD
THE GUNSHOTS.

TELL THEM, BRETT,
PLEASE?

WHAT IS IT?

YOU HEARD THE SOUNDS.

YOU WERE COMING
IN THE DOOR

AT THE SAME TIME.

YOU WEREN'T HOME TONIGHT?

NO. UNFORTUNATELY I WAS
AT A MEETING DOWNTOWN.

YOU DIDN'T HEAR ANY GUNSHOTS?

I'M SORRY.

I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING.

I DIDN'T KNOW
THERE WAS ANY PROBLEM

TILL I SAW MADDY
COMING DOWN THE STAIRS

CARRYING A GUN.

BUT THE SHOTS...

THEY WERE SO LOUD.

MY EARS ARE
STILL RINGING
FROM THE SHOTS!

MADISON, WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO PRESCRIBE A SEDATIVE FOR YOU

JUST FOR THE NIGHT?

NO, I'M ALL
RIGHT, REALLY.

COME ON.

I THINK YOU NEED
A LITTLE REST.

LET'S GET YOU TO BED.

COME ON.

I THINK SHE MAY
NEED SOME HELP.

YOU'RE RIGHT.
SHE'S IN TERRIBLE TROUBLE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

FINGERPRINTS.

I JUST DON'T THINK
THIS GENTLEMAN'S

AS GOOD AS
HE APPEARS TO BE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, FOR ONE THING

WHEREVER WOMEN ARE CONCERNED,
NONE OF US ARE AS GOOD

AS WE PRETEND TO BE

AND FOR ANOTHER,
NOBODY COULD BE
THAT GOOD.

THAT'S A CYNICAL REMARK.

IT'S PERCEPTIVE,
BUT CYNICAL.

ANYTHING ON BRETT HEYWARD?

ASSUMING THEY WERE
BRETT'S FINGERPRINTS

HIS REAL NAME IS
"BRIAN HUDSON."

SAME INITIALS.

YEAH, JUST
LIKE YOU AND

DR. JEFFREY TUCKER, HUH?

NO, THAT'S NOT
THE SAME AT ALL.

ANYTHING ELSE?

HUDSON WAS IN

AN AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENT

THAT LEFT HIM NEAR DEATH
WITH MULTIPLE INJURIES

AND A HORRIBLY
DISFIGURED FACE.

THAT CAN'T BE THE SAME HEYWARD.
HE LOOKS LIKE A TV STAR.

MAYBE HE HAD
HIS FACE RECONSTRUCTED.

DR. HJORTSBERG?

HJORTSBERG REALLY WAS TERRIFIC.

BUT WHY WOULD BRETT
WANT TO KILL HIM?

MAYBE TO COVER HIS TRACKS

SO THERE WOULDN'T BE
ANY CONNECTION LEFT

BETWEEN HUDSON AND HEYWARD.

HOW DO YOU FIGURE DAGOBOSIAN
FITS INTO THIS?

HOW DID HIS NAME AND PHOTOS GET

INTO DR. HJORTSBERG'S FILES?

WHY DON'T WE GO ASK HIM?

COME ON. I THINK
YOU NEED A LITTLE REST.

LET'S GET YOU TO BED.

COME ON.

OKAY, DR. SLOAN, I'LL HURRY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? HUH?

I ALREADY COPPED TO THE FENCING.

I SWEAR, I NEVER EVEN HEARD
OF YOUR PLASTIC SURGEON.

WE KNOW THAT.

DOES THE NAME
BRIAN HUDSON

MEAN ANYTHING
TO YOU?

BRIAN? WHAT DOES HE HAVE
TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

YOU KNOW HIM?

YEAH. I KNEW HIM
YEARS AGO.

I KNEW THEM WHEN THEY WERE
AT PUBLIC HEALTH SCHOOL.

KNEW HIM AND HIS WIFE.

WE HUNG TOGETHER.

YOU HUNG OUT

WITH A COUPLE
OF MEDICAL STUDENTS?

THAT'S RIGHT, WE PALLED AROUND.

IN OTHER WORDS,
YOU WERE THEIR CONNECTION.

A LITTLE POT. BIG DEAL.

THEY EVER TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU?

YEAH. AND I TOOK THEIRS.

THAT'S WHAT PALS DO.

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME
YOU SAW BRIAN?

IT WAS AROUND THE TIME
THINGS WENT REALLY SOUR.

WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL, CONNIE WAS UP
FOR A PRIZE OR SOMETHING.

WHATEVER IT WAS, SHE HAD
HER HOPES PINNED ON IT

BUT I GUESS, WHAT WITH THE POT
AND ALL THE PARTYING

SHE'D LET THINGS SLIDE,
AND SHE GOT CAUGHT CHEATING.

ONE OF THE STUDENTS
BLEW THE WHISTLE ON HER.

SHE REALLY TOOK IT HARD.

ACTUALLY, SHE AND BRIAN

BOTH DID.

WHEN BRIAN CAME HOME,
HE FOUND CONNIE

HAD KILLED HERSELF,
AND THE WAY I HEARD IT

HE RAN SCREAMING
OUT OF THE HOUSE

JUMPED INTO THE CAR

WOUND UP DRIVING
90 MILES AN HOUR INTO A TREE.

TRYING TO KILL HIMSELF?

COULD BE.

UNFORTUNATELY,
BEFORE HE DROVE INTO THE TREE

HE, UH, HE RAN
OVER A LITTLE GIRL.

I'M SURE
HE DIDN'T MEAN TO

BUT THEY SAID IT WAS
SECOND-DEGREE MURDER

AND, UH, HE WENT AWAY
FOR A LONG TIME.

HOW DID HIS WIFE KILL HERSELF?

WELL, THEY SAID SHE HANGED
HERSELF FROM THE RAFTER.

HMM.

WHERE WAS
THIS PUBLIC HEALTH SCHOOL?

ANN ARBOR.

UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN.

THAT'S WHERE MADISON WENT.

YOU PUT SOMETHING IN THIS.

YES, I DID...
VANILLA AND NUTMEG

SO IT WOULDN'T TASTE
SO AWFUL.

NOW, COME ON,
DOWN THE HATCH.

YOU'RE REALLY GOOD TO ME.

YOU'RE JUST GETTING
WHAT YOU DESERVE.

THAT'S MY GIRL.

Mark:
CAN YOU GET THIS THING
TO GO ANY FASTER?

Steve:
NOT UNLESS WE SPROUT WINGS.

Mark:
SO SPROUT.

DID YOU REALLY THINK

THAT YOU WOULD NEVER GET
YOUR COMEUPPANCE, DR. WESLEY?

THINK YOU'D CONTINUE
MESSING UP OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES

AND NEVER HAVE TO PAY
THE PRICE YOURSELF?

WELL, SURE, CONNIE FELL
A LITTLE BEHIND

IN HER STUDIES, BUT...

SHE HAD TO BORROW FROM CHANNING.

I MEAN, SHE HAD TO DO THAT.

I SUPPOSE YOU NEVER BENT

OR BROKE THE RULES.

NO, NO, PROBABLY NOT.

YOU'D NEVER DO SOMETHING
LIKE THAT.

CONNIE WAS GOING TO BE

A BRILLIANT RESEARCH SCIENTIST,
IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU.

BRILLIANT.

YEP.

WHAT GOES AROUND...

COMES AROUND.

LIKE THE COAT?

WELL... CONNIE
GAVE IT TO ME.

IT WAS ON OUR FIRST
ANNIVERSARY.

SHE ALWAYS SAID

THAT ON YOUR
FIRST ANNIVERSARY

YOU GOT FRINGE.

SHE WAS SOMETHING,
I'LL TELL YOU.

CONNIE HAD
IMPECCABLE TASTE.

CONNIE HAD EVERYTHING.

SHE MEANT THE WORLD TO ME.

OKAY.

LET'S GO.

I'M SO TIRED...

MADISON!

COME ON, SWEETHEART.

OH... BRETT.

COME ON.

UP YOU GO.

THAT'S A GOOD GIRL.

ON YOUR TOES.

ON YOUR TOES,
SWEETIE.

WHAT ARE YOU... DOING?

RIGHT THERE.

LET'S SEE.

THAT'S MY GIRL.

SHOW TIME!

MADISON, I'VE GOT YOU.

Mark:
STEVE, GIVE ME A HAND.

ALL RIGHT, DAN,
I GOT HER.

YOU GOT IT?

THEY'RE LOVELY,
MARK

BUT I DON'T REALLY
DESERVE THEM.

NOT AFTER THE WAY
I SPOKE TO YOU.

AND EVEN THEN,
YOU DEFENDED ME
TO THE BOARD.

OH, THEY DIDN'T TAKE
ALL THAT MUCH CONVINCING.

WHO I SHOO?

YOU DIDN'T REALLY SHOOT ANYBODY.

I COULD HAVE
SWORN THAT I...

HE PICKED UP

SOME HARMLESS BARFLY,
GAVE HIM $100, AND SAID

"I'M PLAYING A PRACTICAL JOKE
ON MY WIFE."

BUT, I SHOT HIM POINT-BLANK.

YOUR GUN WAS FULL OF BLANKS.

WHEN BRETT WENT UPSTAIRS,
HE SWITCHED IT

FOR A GUN LOADED
WITH REAL BULLETS.

HE HATED ME SO MUCH.

WHAT KIND OF PERSON AM I

THAT WOULD FALL IN LOVE
WITH A MAN LIKE THAT?

I DON'T THINK YOU FELL
IN LOVE WITH HIM.

I THINK YOU FELL IN LOVE

WITH THE PERSON HE
PRETENDED TO BE.

THE GUY WAS A HELL
OF AN ACTOR.

HOW CAN I THANK YOU?

BELIEVE ME, MADISON

YOUR FRIENDSHIP IS

ALL THE THANKS I NEED.

YOU GET YOURSELF SOME REST.