Diagnosis Murder (1993–2001): Season 3, Episode 16 - Murder by the Book - full transcript

At the L.A. book signing session for "Munchies, Snacks and Spreads", which Mark mistook for a cookbook but is actually a spicy true sex for money story which names the real people, someone writes a death threat in the copy Mark picks up to have signed anyway by former neighborhood kid Melissa Farnes, one of the three co-authors with call girls Shauna Teague and Carrie. Their pushy agent Janet Block refuses to call the 21 city book signing tour off as the extra publicity makes the book a bestseller. Melissa asks to talk to Mark; Jesse who knew what he wanted signed (none of the 86 stories are alike, that interests even Norman and hypocritical Amanda) is not allowed to join the beach house lunch. Then Shauna doesn't turn up for a radio show, but is heard on the phone in a crazed kidnapper's power, who shoots; she remains missing, her car is found in Santa Monica. Carrie is tricked in her hotel room by the killer with a fake police idea and made to ask Melissa to come there alone. A maid finds Melissa next to Carrie's corps, saying the killer was scared off- prints prove it's ex-con Thomas L. Pitt. Community General's laryntologist Dr. Bannerman proves his skill by electronically analyzing the radio station's tape as made in a cab, calling in his L.A. position, which was stolen. Pitt is found in it, also shot dead. The co-authors had a survival-clause for all rights... Meanwhile Amanda desperately tries to repeat her marriage vows to USNAF fighter pilot Colin, now on mission in Bosnia, as their wedding chaplain and officiant were illegal.

Mark, I want you to
take a look at this letter

about the chapel where
Colin and I were married

and tell me honestly,
does it look official to you?

Yeah, it does.

Why are you doing this to me?

What am I doing?

Well, if that
letter is official,

that means the chapel
in which I was married,

the Chapel of the
Singing Nuns, is unofficial.

Which means that Colin and
I possibly are not... Hold on.

It's Saturday.

The courthouse in Las
Vegas will be closed.

We'll call Monday and
get to the bottom of it.

Oh, I didn't think it
would take an entire day

to get a book autographed.

Munchies, Snacks and
Spreads must be some big hit.

We're here to get Munchies,
Snacks and Spreads autographed?

Have you heard anything I
have said for the last hour?

Well, yes. "Come with me.

"I want you to meet
an old friend's daughter.

And I'll buy lunch."

Dr. Farn's daughter wrote
Munchies, Snacks and Spreads?

Yep, co-wrote. A
couple of her friends

included their recipes, too.

You think it's a cookbook?

Yeah. Isn't it?

Look at all those people.

It's an editor's dream.

Hi. Doris Fuller?


Here you go. Hi.




Anything special
you'd like me to write?

How could something
so foul smell so good?

Just sign your name.

Mark, can we go?

Well, wait a minute,

we haven't got the
book signed yet.

We're almost there.

So you signed my book already.


If some people
would just hurry up.

Excuse me, sir, there
are a lot of people in line.

The women have lots of work
to do. Thank you for coming.

All right, thanks.

Dr. Sloan, Amanda, what
are you guys doing here?

Mark came to get
his "cookbook" signed.


Oh, boy. What "oh, boy"?

Oh, is that Melissa's book?

Um... Um... Yeah.

I don't see any reci... pes.

This isn't a cookbook.

Dr. Sloan?

Let's go to the kid's
section and check

the books out for Colin.

Oh, good idea.

I thought it was a cookbook.

Oh, Dr. Sloan, I can't
believe you're here.

This is really embarrassing.


what are you doing?

Shawna, this is an
old friend of my dad's.

Oh, hi.

And this is a book signing.

Sit down.

No, I need to talk to him now.

We're on business
hours right now.

We can do the reunion later.

Well, I-I'm gonna buy one.

I'm gonna buy... actually,
I just came by to say hi.

Maybe you'd better just
sign and we'll talk later.

You promise?


Oh, my God.


♪ ♪

Tell Steve what happened
and have him run this book

through every
test he can think of.

Maybe we'll get lucky and a
couple of prints will pop up.

Okay, fine. Oh.

Anything else? Yeah.

Here's a description of
the guy in the fatigue suit.

Maybe he can run
it on the computer,

and we'll get a match.

Okay, we'll call you
if anything comes up.

Bye, C.J.

Thanks, Amanda. Bye-bye.

So you mean

"Rubber Bands, Pencils
and a Sheet," that's all true?

You think I could make that up?




This thing yours?

I spent a lot of time
in the back of a limo.

Thank you.

I kind of got used to it.

Right, like with that
football player and that band

and that ugly guy
from Star Trek.

Well, wait till you
get past chapter two.

Mm, that'll really get you.


straight back to the
hotel, no side trips.

Yes, Mommy.


It's okay, Carrie.

I'm sure it was
just a stupid prank.

You know, Melissa's
probably right,

but still it wouldn't hurt

to get out of the public
eye for a few days.

Get out of the public eye?

We just started a
21-city book tour.

Well, there you go. I
mean, it's pretty obvious

why somebody doesn't
want you promoting this.

You actually named
everyone you were with.

That was the point. It was

not the point.

Don't start, Melissa.

Just get with the program.

I didn't write this
book to ruin people.

I worked just as hard
as you did on this book

and I don't know about you,
but I'd like to climb that ladder

just a bit from smut and sleaze.

Do we have to do this right now?

We've got our 15
minutes of fame.

Don't screw it up.

I don't intend to.

Do you think we could
have that talk now?


Listen, how about
lunch at the beach?


Uh, Jesse, I'm sorry.

I only have enough herkimer
and tomatoes for two.

I'll just have a carrot.

Uh, no carrots either.

I'm not invited to lunch, am I?

Not today.


The signing's over,
you guys, we missed it.

Mom won't even talk to me.

Your mom is Boston society.

She hasn't spoken to
me since she caught

your father and me spitting
cherry pits in her Ming vase.

You did that?

Oh, yeah.

His idea.

Things usually were.

I really miss your dad.

Yeah, me, too.

I cannot get over
how grown-up you are.

A little more than you thought.

To me you're still that
little girl in the school play,

standing at the podium giving
your valedictorian address,

all dolled up

for the prom.

What happened, Melissa?


I mean, not what you think.

I can't even read the
liner notes to that thing.

Dr. Sloan, I put
this book together

to try to expose what's
going on out there.

By naming names and
giving intimate details?

Shawna and Carrie
are the victims here.

I mean, yeah,
they're paid money,

but they're demeaned,
they're abused.

They can't get out of it,
Dr. Sloan, and they're not alone.

And you?

That's what I've been
wanting to tell you.

I'm not one of them.

I met Shawna and
Carrie at a party.

We started talking,

we got together for
lunches, and I was hooked.

I mean, the stories they
told me... the trips, the money.

I presented the idea of the book

to Janet and the publishers.

I would write it
from their stories

and, for legal reasons,

where we couldn't name
names, I would... embellish,

become one of them.

The whole chapter about me,

the unnamed senator, the
actor, it never really happened,

not to me anyway.

Oh, I think your father
would be very relieved.

Dr. Sloan.

Sure thing, Janet,
she's right here.


Eating lunch.

I know.

I-I know, I'll be there, I...

All right, ho-hold on.

I hate to ask you this, but
we're doing the Rick Dees show

at KFZA today.

And you need a ride?


I know just the man for the job.


You sure you don't mind?

Melissa, I haven't
seen you in ten years.

It'll be good catching up.

How'd that PhD paper come out?

Steve, have you talked to
your dad about me at all?

Yeah, he said, uh, we had
a lot of catching up to do

on the way to the radio station.

Yeah, no kidding.

Thank you, Wilton.

No, no, I appreciate

that you even
picked up the phone.

I will.

Okay, thank you.

Amanda? N-Not now, Norman.

Do you have any
idea who that was?

No. Wilton Stronghorn.

He was the security guard

at the chapel which
I was married in,

the chapel which is
now under lock and key

until they find the
Reverend Munster.

Oh, that sounds bad. Yep.

I'm gonna call Colin.

In Bosnia? Mm-hmm.

From the hospital phone? Yeah.


It's an emergency, Norman.

Now, if you don't wish for me

to reach out and touch
someone, then you...


Yes, may I have an
overseas operator, please?


You're reading that, too?

Ugh, you men.

Oh, oh, no, this?

I-I found this in
the doctor's lounge.

What is trash like this doing

in the doctor's
lounge? There it is.

Get your own copy, Norman.

Jesse, don't read
that in here, please.

She's right.

If you have to indulge
in this sort of thing,

take it to a motel

or read it in your
bathroom or something.

Hey, I'm doing work here.

I'm doing a little
research for Mark...

Reading this and compiling
a list of possible suspects.

So far, I'm up to 73.

They named 73 people
they had sex with?

Yeah, so far, and no
two stories are alike.

No kidding? Yeah, tell Mark

there was no match on
that description he gave me

and the book came up clean.

Oh, he's going to love that.

So no two stories are alike?

Make it quick. Shh!

It's expensive.

Yes, hello, overseas operator?

My name is Mrs. Livingston.

Right, I'm looking
for a Navy fighter pilot

somewhere around Bosnia.

Yes, Bosnia.

We're back with Rick Dees!

So my question is: Why would a
shoelace make it more exciting?

Well, look, if you
can't figure that out,

I think we'll just wait
to give you the answer

when you're old enough to drive.

We've got time for
a couple more calls.

Oh, where the hell is Shawna?

Debbie from San Dimas,

you're on with Melissa
and Carrie, co-authors of

Munchies, Snacks and Spreads.

Uh, yeah, what's the
most you've been paid?


For one night?

More like one hour.

Gives new meaning
to "quality time."

One more call.

Roger from North Hollywood.

Yeah, where's the
other one... Shawna?

Good question.

That damn L.A. bus
system, you know.

Probably caught in traffic.

No, she's not, Ricky.

She's right here
where she belongs.

It's him.

It's the guy from the signing.

Very good, Melissa.

Now, here's a little something
for all your listeners, Ricky.

Trace it.

Oh, my God.

No, please don't.

Just tell them.

I'm sorry I'm bad.

I shouldn't have
written that book.

And what happens to
people who are bad?

No, please. 555-2700.

Do what you can.

What happens?!

They're punished.

You hear that, girls?

They're punished!

And I'm just the man to do it.

Oh, no, please.


Oh, my God!


You want her body?

Try dragging the bay.

No! Oh, my God, no!

You want her body?

Try dragging the bay.

I can't listen to that anymore.

Oh, I'm sorry, Melissa.

I know that's hard.

I just want to make sure

you think that is the
man from the bookstore.

It's him.

You never saw him before?

No. Never.

I wish Carrie were here.

She'd now if it was
somebody from the book.

Poor Shawna.


Listening to that
tape can't help her.

Helped the book, though.

Sales doubled after that tape.

Janet, that's horrible!

See, actually,
the tape can help.

Mark is listening for clues.

Something unusual
in the guy's voice.

A particular accent,
a speech pattern.

Uh, tell-tale lisp might
mean a-a cleft palate.

I got it.



No, no.

No statement.

How did you find
out they were here?

Look out front, Jesse.

Uh, sir, can we
ask you a question?

Sir, just one question, please!

Hey, can we get a
statement from you?

God, you got a press
invasion starting out there.

No. No, I'm, I'm
not their agent.

I'm just a friend.

They're just fine, thank you.

No. No. Absolutely
no press conferences.

Th... Thank you.

Well, maybe later.

Thank you for calling.

Feeding time at the
zoo has started, huh?

Every author's dream...
National publicity.

I never thought it
would come like this.

Ladies and gentlemen...

Ladies and gentlemen!

The Metropolitan Police
will make a statement

later this afternoon.

Until then, the women
are under our protection

and are not available
for comment.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm sorry about that.

It's just too juicy for them.

Scandal and murder.

I got some officers out there.

They should clear them out.

Steve, did you
mean what you said?

Are we under police protection?

Well, if you want it,
you can certainly have it.

Where's Carrie? I thought

she was coming out here.

No, she went back to the
hotel. She's pretty upset.

Well, she should be.

Look, maybe
you'd better call her.

Uh, tell her to stay
in her room, and

I'll send some men over there.

So you're really
taking this seriously?


There have been a
couple of developments.

Shawna Teig is
definitely missing.

She hasn't been seen at
the hotel for over ten hours.

We've checked with her
neighbors and associates.

No one's seen
her or talked to her.

She missed a hair appointment

even before she was a no-show

at the radio station.

And, uh, we found her car

in Santa Monica
with the, uh, driver's

window smashed in.

Oh, my God. We got two motor

launches out now
dragging the bay.

And no

suspects at all except for...

The 86 men
mentioned in this book.

86 exactly?

Oh, I-I don't know.

That was just a rough guess.

I just scanned the book.

And all

these men are
well-known, prominent?

Yeah. The ones that
people want to read about.

Politicians, sports heroes,


And we have this.

Jesse, we have work to do.

Did you think of something?

No. You did.

You ladies stay here.

Fine with me. STEVE:
I'll be here, too.

I gave my home number
to the, uh, search team.

No. I need to head back.

This may change the
whole marketing campaign.

I need to talk to the
PR people in New York.

Where are we going?

I'm going to the hospital.

You're going to see Rick Dees.

Uh, Dad?

Back door.

Oh, yeah.

All right, now coming up

in the next half an hour,
we're going to be talking

with Donny Ray Nesbitt
from Boone Harbor, Michigan.

Now, don't go reaching
for that dial saying,

"Look, I don't want to listen to
some guy from Boone Harbor."

Well, get this.

Donny's the author
of a book entitled

Close Encounters
of the Naughty Kind.

He claims to have been
abducted by aliens three times,

all for sex.

I'm not making this up!

Let's... Let's just fly
through a commercial

and get him in here.

Hey, Jeffrey, where's
the space stud?

No application fee...

Yeah. This must be him.

Go on in.

No fees at all.

That's what Olympus
Home Advantage is offering...

Hi, Mr. Dees. I, uh, was
told I could just come in.

Oh, Donny... Oh, no,
absolutely. Sit down. Oh, great.

Put these headphones
on. Headphones.

And look, we're
on in 20. All right.

So, when we come back,

let's get into the
extraterrestrial whoopie stuff

right out of the
shoot, all right?

And then we'll kind
of back up from there.

Oh, no, I'm sorry.
There's a, uh,

little misunderstanding.
No. Hold on a second.

Hold on a second. Five seconds.

We're back with Donny Ray, and

you've heard of cruising bars.

This guy cruises the stars.

Donny Ray, what's it
like shagging aliens, bud?

Shag...? No, no, no.

You don't seem to understand.

No, no, no. I understand
that in your book,

you said that you were
an unwitting participant

in these intergalactic orgies.

Yes. Yeah.

I mean, no! No!
But you're right, yes.

Then-then you said you
kind of gradually got into it.


Things a little slow in Boone
Harbor these days, Donny?

Boone Harbor?

We'll be back with Flesh
Gordon right after this.

Listen, I am not Donny
Ray what's-his-name, okay?

I'm Dr. Jesse Travis.

Doctor who? Jesse Travis.

I work with Mark
Sloan, a doctor,

who works with the
police. Wait a minute.

You got to make some
sense of this quickly.

We got to get back on the
air. Okay, you know the girls

who wrote the Munchies,
Spreads and Snacks book?

Well, I'm helping on that case
with Dr. Sloan and the police.

Now, I've come here to see
if you have any file footage,

interview tapes,
anything, of the voices

of-of the men
mentioned in her book.

See, we think that it might
have been one of them

that called your show yesterday

and killed that woman.

Well, have you got a list?

Yes. 86 men.


Yeah, I got most of them.

May-Maybe all of them.

I can help you. Oh, great.

But you've got to help me.

Look, I'm on the air,

and you've got to be
Donny Ray Nesbitt.

Don... Why?


that's got to be Donny Ray.

I don't want to talk to him.

I like you. Come on.

Yeah, but this guy, with
the Martians... you know.

I think it's Venusians,
actually. Venusians?

Back with Donny Ray.

You're not going to get
stuff like this anywhere else,

ladies and gentlemen.

No, sir!

Donny Ray,

what was it like the
first time with the aliens?

Um... well, it was at night.

It usually is.

And-and-and-and... right...

and-and this ship... Mm.

Space ship filled... Yeah.

With cosmic... Cosmic.

Beautiful women
landed. Beautiful.

Wait a minute. Hold on a second.

In your book, you say
they have four legs.

How could they be beautiful?

Four... Yes. Yes.

But they were very
thin, shapely, long legs.

Donny Ray,

could this have all
happened late one night

after last call at a tavern?


You want her body?

Try dragging the bay!

Oh. What do you think?

Class-A psycho.

Hopped up, too.

Very high anxiety level. Here.

What happened...?!

See how his
fundamental frequency...

That's his voice
pitch... spikes?

Mm. See, his normal
timbre is lower.

What happened?! He's
very nervous, excited.

So the tape quality's okay?

You want her body?
Try dragging the bay.

Mm, it's a little muddy,
but we can work with it.

Who do we match it to?

Oh, that may be Jesse now.

Oh, you got them!

Yeah, all 86 of them.

Rick Dees and I had to go

through about a
couple hundred tapes,

interviews, news
clips, sports stories.

But we got 'em.

You know Dr. Bannerman?

Yeah, we've met. Travis, right?

Why do we need
an otolaryngologist?

Voice printing.

Bring the tapes
over here, let's see

if we find this jerk.

welcome to biometrics.

If the killer's on these
tapes, we're going to find him.

It's not quite as
good as, uh, retina

patterning or
fingerprints, but voice print

is damn accurate.

I... Here, hold this.

Now, we're going to
scan 80 to 4,000 hertz

on the spectrographic analysis.

It's going to be
a little tougher

with the speaker
saying different things,

but we'll get a match.

You're an ENT specialist.

I mean, you got to
know that this is bad

for your nose, your throat.

Yeah, but it's great
for my oral fixation.

Give me that! Okay.

We're ready to go.

Now, the computer is
going to scan a radio tape

while we play a different one.

You just watch the
scope. Here we go.

Hey, thank you, Rick.

I am very happy to
be here in Los Angeles.

How wonderful to be meeting
all these wonderful people...

The Iraqi Under Secretary?

Sure as hell don't need a
spectrograph for that one.

And not a match.

Who is it?


I was told to check in on you.

They didn't tell me that...

That figures.

Could you open up?

I'm supposed to check the room.

Where's your uniform?

I'm a detective, lady.


Well, can I see some I.D.?

Detective Miller.

Uh, I can't read
it. It's too close.

Look, I'm trying to
do my job here, okay?

You want to call downtown
and waste time? Fine!

I'll be in the lobby.

No, wait!

Not a word. You understand me?

Resident on call to ER.

Resident on call to ER.

Phew! Oh, my goodness!

You two smell like an
all-night game of poker!

Oh, it's Bannerman's cigars.

Hey, can you believe
it? Not one match.

Oh. Not even close.

Uh, well, thanks
for asking, guys.

I'm fine.

Oh, I'm sorry, Amanda.

Did you clear up that problem
with the chapel in Las Vegas?

Everything's much
clearer, actually.

I just got finished
talking to my attorney.

And he'd just talked to the
Nevada Better Business Bureau.


And of course,

I'm paraphrasing here.

I'm not married.

You're not serious?!

Do I look serious?

She looks serious.

The Chapel of

the Singing Nuns
held its last piece

of legitimate business in 1986
when it was a Dairy Queen.

And the Reverend
Darryl Munster...

His name is actually Dice
"Big Daddy D" Drummond.

13 priors, two
outstanding warrants.

And, yes, he is currently
a fugitive from justice.

Oh, Amanda, that's awful!

How did you find that place!?

I don't know!

Colin got his orders.

We had one day.

We got our license for $20,

hailed the cab, hopped in,
asked the driver where to go.

Colin asked the
driver where to go.

This is all his fault,

and I don't know how
to get in touch with him.

He's going to have
to answer to our son.

Excuse me. I need a phone again.

Boy, and we think
we've got trouble.

Oh, I'd rather listen
to those 86 tapes again

than to take that
call from Amanda.

Or be Reverend "Bid Daddy D"

if Amanda ever catches him.

Oh, God, there's
going to be gunplay.

I'd turn myself in. I think so.


Nice braces!

Yeah, I used to call
you Bucky then, didn't I?


Sloan residence.

Is Melissa there?

Uh, yeah, just a second.

It's for you.

It sounds like Carrie.

Oh. Thanks.


Melissa, it's Carrie.

Are you alone? I've
got to talk to you.

Um, it's kind of personal.

Oh. No problem.

I'll, uh, be downstairs
if you need me.

Carrie, he's gone. What is it?

Just listen, okay?

There's something
you got to know.

You got to come
down here right away.

But I'm supposed to stay here.

Just come now, okay?

And this is important.

No cops.

You got to come alone.

Do you understand, Melissa?

Say you're coming.

I'm coming.



Hello? Hello, is anybody here?

Is there a doctor in the house?

♪ Ba da bing ♪

♪ Ba da ba ba ba ba boo ♪

♪ Ba da bing ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ba... ♪

Hi, Norman.

Amanda, wh-what
are you doing here?

What do you mean,
what am I doing here?

I mean, shouldn't you be, um...

cutting up a spleen
or something?

I'm on a break, Norman.
What's your problem?

I-I don't have a problem.

You look like you got
slapped in the face.

Oh, I'm reading this
very disturbing article.

In the medical supply catalog?

Let me take a look at this.



I can't believe
you have this book.

What book?

This book.

All right... I-I-I admit it.

I just wanted to see what
all the hoopla was all about.

That's all. You little pervert.

I am not a pervert!

What were you reading
when I came in the room, then?

Wh-When you came in the room?

Come on, indulge me.

Let's hear a little aloud.

I can't. Why not?

Because r-reading a book

is a very personal, private
experience, that's what.

I can't believe you. What?

You actually enjoy reading
this filthy piece of literature.

I never said that.

Are you enjoying it?

No. As a matter
of fact, take it.

It's disgusting, it's crude.

It's a best-seller.

There you have it.


♪ ♪



Ma'am, may I turn down your bed?

Coming through here.

Tell me again what
she said on the phone.

Just that there was
something I should know

and that I was to
come right away.

Alone, right?

Yeah, she was
real firm about that.

"No police," she said.

What was her tone like?
Did she sound frightened?

I don't know.

She sounded nervous, uptight.

Maybe frightened.

Why, you think the guy might...

Might've been here,
forcing her to call.

To get me here? I
think you were lucky.

Something frightened
him off before you got here.

Hey, guys.

Anything? Yeah, plenty.

This guy's moving
fast and getting sloppy.

We lifted over a dozen

latent prints off the
glass table, doorknob,

even Carrie's body.

Got a name?

Yeah, it just came in.

Pitt, Thomas L.

He's an ex-con; disappeared
about six months ago.

Stopped going to
parole, quit his job.

Let me guess: moved from
his prior address, too, right?

Yeah, he's up in smoke.

I just put a description out.

Uh, we will get him, Melissa,

but in the meantime...

Let her stay with me.

You sure? Yeah, I'll
keep an eye on her.

All right.

See you later.

We still have the tape
from the radio show.

Yeah. Worthless.

Any of those 86 guys
could've hired Pitt.

Yeah, but it was
Pitt on that tape.

Doesn't matter, it doesn't
get us close to him.

Well, I'm not so
sure about that.

Where do most people
make their phone calls from?

From their home? Right.

And... work.

So not his voice.

Right, what's behind it.
The background voice.

The ambiance, it's the place.

Where the call was made. Right.

Do you smell cigars?

I think so.

Excuse me, sorry.

Sorry! God, Amanda, I'm sorry.

I was just going
to see Bannerman.

No harm done. Okay.

Ask Dr. Bannerman
if he has any pull

with the Seventh
Fleet, will you?

You still haven't
talked to Colin?

Have you ever
tried calling Bosnia?

Not recently, no.

20 times, that's how
many times I've called.

You know how many
times I got through?

Six! And he wasn't there?

Briefings, de-briefings,
pre-flights, in-flights.

What ever happened to
the barracks, the mess halls?

What ever happened
to the officer's clubs?

Something! I don't
know. You'll reach him.

Damn right I will.

Do you have the
number to the Pentagon?

I would just try 411.

Yeah! I will. Yeah. Yeah.

I'll call 1-800-let-me-speak

Or whoever he is.

I was wondering, Doctor,

you are making
those calls collect?


Sorry I'm late.

Want to start?

Already started.

Take a look.

There's a spectrum image of
your tape minus the speaker.

So you were able
to eliminate the voice.

Yeah, piece of cake.

That's a whole different band.

That's street noise.

My guess is, your
boy's on a pay phone.

No, he can't be.

I mean, he's playing
a murder tape.

Why would you do that in
a public place? Good point.

What's that?

You hear that? Sort
of in the foreground.

You hear that?

Yeah, back it up.

You hear that clicking? Yeah.

Don't know what it is.

Let's feed that
through the sampler.

The sampler?

In the computer, I've got, uh...

over 30,000 sounds in there.

Let's scan for a match.

Got it. Ha!

Guess what? He's in a car.


That's a turn signal.

That's unbelievable.

What? You thought
we did was just

stick tongue depressors
down people's throats?

What else you got?

Well, I heard some words.

Not from Mr. Weird here,

some kind of deep
background kind of stuff.

I want to run that.

Here it is.

Now, you hear that
voice? Real tinny?

Kind of metallic?

What's all that static
surrounding him?

Hmm, don't know.

But I will.

Here. Let's isolate it.

See if we can clean that up.

31-41, this is base.

I have a Burbank
airport drop-off for you.

Pick up at the apartment
building, Kester and Van Nuys.

A cab! A cab!

Now does he drive it or
is he just a passenger?

You said yourself
that he's playing

a murder tape; he's alone.

Right, so he drives a cab.

In the Valley, he's being
sent to a Van Nuys address.

Do you have a Yellow
Pages around here?

Yes, it's on the shelf there.

Three of them in Van Nuys.

Doc, I could kiss you.

Just buy me a box of these.

Hey, that's a mug shot!

But you recognize him?

Yeah, name's Willard.

Actually, his name is Pitt.

But I guess it
doesn't really matter.

Well, it matters to me.

I'm not supposed to
hire guys with a record.

What did he do?

Oh, I don't know.
I'm not with the police.

Then how'd you get the picture?

I have a friend with the police.

Can you tell me where
Pitt... uh, Willard, is?

I was hoping you could tell
me. I'm looking for him, too.

You know? His
shift was over, like,

six hours ago, I can't
raise him on the horn,

and he's out there
somewhere driving my hack.

Still in his cab.

Mm-hmm. What's the cab number?

Yeah, wait a minute.


Thanks. Can I use your phone?

If it's a local call,
yeah, go ahead.

Yeah, thanks.

Hi, Detective
Steve Sloan, please.

You and your detective friend
can have what's-his-name, okay?

I-I just want to
get my cab back.

More tea?


Shawna and Carrie?

I don't know if I'll ever
stop thinking about them.

I wrote that book, Mark.

Sure you did, you told me why.

To expose that world.

Why else did you write it?

Make a splash.

Become the next
overnight sensation.

God, you saw how
the book came out.

It's pulp non-fiction.

Honey, you wrote about
something that mattered to you.

And then somewhere
along the line, you gave in

to wanting the fame and
the fortune in the bargain.

I can't say that hasn't happened

to most of us at
one time or another.

Neither that book or its author

had anything to do with
those girls getting killed.

I know you don't
believe that now,

but when this
thing works itself out

and we find out
what really happened,

I hope you will.

Sloan. STEVE: Hi, Dad.

Hi, Steve.

We found Pitt.

They found Pitt.

Where was he?

He's at the hotel.

He never left.

He, uh, tried to,
but he didn't make it.

Yeah, he's dead.

Took a single shot to the head.

Am I under arrest?

No, but I would like you to
answer a few more questions.

Why don't you answer
some questions first?

I'm investigating a
murder, Miss Block,

not hosting a game show.

Yeah, and you're accusing
me of that homicide.

Look, if you'd like
to call your lawyer

and do this downtown,
that's fine with me.

I don't need a lawyer;
I didn't kill anyone.

Well, why don't you tell me
where you were between 7:00

and 9:00 last night?

In my room in my bed,
reading the manuscript

that I'm going to
make a best-seller.

Any witnesses?

I like to read alone.

Maid didn't stop by?

Bell boy with room service?


So no alibi and
plenty of opportunity.

Plenty of opportunity

to kill some schlub
that I didn't even know?

Detective, have
you ever considered

a career in fiction writing?

Oh, I think you did know him.

I think you hired him to
kill Carrie and Shawna

and then you killed
him to cover your tracks.

Back off, Kojak.

Why would I want
my meal tickets dead?

How are book sales doing
since they were murdered?


Detective, I am ambitious,
but I'm not insane.

You know, I really think you
should call that lawyer now.

I'll do that... if you do this.

Your next best-
selling manuscript?

Carrie, Shawna,
and Melissa's contract

with Brookingham Publishing.

Read it.

You just might find a
real motive for murder.

I didn't want to believe
it either, Dad, but it is

a pretty good motive.

"All royalties from sales
of hardcover, softcover,

"movie, television,
cable rights,

"plus normally defined
ancillary and remake rights

will be shared equally
by surviving authors."

Mm-hmm, standard
survival clause.

And you think this is
about money? Mm-hmm.

Big money. With all the press,

Munchies, Snacks
and Spreads is close

to being a number
one best-seller.

Steve, I've known
Melissa since she was born.

Yeah, we both have. Well, then,

you know she's not a murderer.

Dad, we haven't
seen her in ten years.

People change.

Well, maybe, but not that much.

She was at the hotel

the night Pitt and
Carrie were killed.

You tell me what
she was doing there.

She told you. Carrie called
her over there in a panic.

Would you go out alone
if there was a death threat

hanging over your head?

So that's it, huh?

You really think I'm a murderer?

No, honey, I don't.

But you do?

No, I didn't say that,

but I am gonna have
to take you downtown

and get a statement and take
some hair and blood samples.

Am I under arrest?


No, you are not under arrest.

Steve, I didn't do it.

I didn't kill anybody.

Well, then, you have
nothing to worry about.

No, you've already put me

on hold five times.

Don't put me on hold!

Okay, I'm not yelling.

Okay, I'm not yelling.

I'm simply trying to make
reservations to Bosnia.

Yes, I realize

that Bosnia is not a popular
vacation spot these days.

Because you're a travel agent.

Do your job, lady... hello?


Why is this so hard?

Colin can't leave and
I can't stay unmarried.

I'm going to Bosnia.

Wh-Why don't you
wait till the war's over?

No... yeah.

Oh, I'm freaking out here.

No, no, don't do that.

It's okay, all right, calm down.

Calm down here.

Now, this is stupid.

It's just a marriage

a stupid little piece
of paper. Stupid.

What's important here
is that Colin loves me

and I love Colin.

And who cares if we were married

in a chapel that once sold
chocolate-dipped cones?

Right, as long as you were
coming from your heart.

Exactly, and who cares if
the pastor had a police record?

What, grand theft auto? So what?

Yeah, as compared to, say,
mass genocide, it's nothing.

I could get a spot in the USO,

and if I got a spot in the USO,

why, I could get to
Bosnia by Christmas.

Hi, folks.

Hello, Mark. Hey.

Any word on Melissa?

No, Steve hasn't
released her yet.

So you still think
she's innocent?

A hundred percent.

Well, if not her, who?

Hey, here's a possibility.

There's this astronaut

in here who has a
thing for toy rockets.

I was only trying to help.

You know, it doesn't
make any sense.

What doesn't make sense? What?

Well, there are 86
men named in this book,

86 powerful, rich men.

You'd think they'd want
this book to go away

instead of bringing
attention to it.

Good luck.

I mean, with murders,

every time you turn
around, everybody's talking

about that book. Exactly,

so why keep killing people
if it's going to bring attention

to that which you
want to go away?

Maybe it's a case
of blind revenge.

Unless that's what the
killer wants us to think.

You know, what if it
isn't about revenge?

What if it's greed?

Sounds like you're
building a case

against Melissa. Yeah, and she's

the only one who stands
to make a lot of money.

Yeah, unless...

Unless what?

She's dead.

Are you confused?

He does this on
purpose to annoy us.

We're not asking ourselves
one simple question.

What question?

Who gets the money
if they're all dead?

Jesse, get out of my chair.


What's up? A lot.

We tried to call.

They said you
couldn't be interrupted.

Well, I was with Melissa.

You didn't let her go, did you?

You know, Dad,
the more I dug into it,

the more I realized
you were right.

She didn't do it.

But you let her go?

Well, yeah, five
minutes ago. Why?

We have to find her.

Steve, somebody's
going to kill her.


Give me the front desk.

We've been scammed.

See, if all three authors die,

then all the profits
from the book go

to this Kingston
Abuse Foundation.

What's the Kingston Abuse
Foundation? Dummy corporation.

It's a front.

Wilson? Sloan.

Uh, I just released
Melissa Farns.

Tall blonde.

All right, thanks.

She just walked
out the front door.

What front?

I'll tell you on the way.



Come on, let's box them in.

I don't think this is
such a good idea.

We'd better get out of the car.


Let's not do that again. Okay.

Are you all right?

Yeah, I will be.


Oh, my God, Shawna.


I don't understand.

What is happening?

If all three of you

had been killed, Melissa,

then the proceeds would
have gone to a phony foundation

we've been looking into.

Obviously, Shawna's
the one who set it up.

So Shawna hired Pitt?

Yeah, we found a $10,000
debit in her bank account

a week before Pitt made a
$10,000 credit to his account.

Yeah, but why kill Pitt?

Well, you answered that.

Pitt got nervous.

What was supposed
to be a publicity stunt

was turning into
the perfect frame.

And he thought he
was going to take the fall

for Shawna's fake killing?

Mm-hmm, so he got
together with Carrie

to tell her what was going on.

And she called me.

And with you out of the way,

Shawna would have
started a whole new life

with plenty of money coming in.

Hey, let's go.

It's show time.

Okay, Enterprise standing by.

So we just about ready? Almost.


fix your tie. It's a
wedding, button it up.


So what are we waiting for?

They just landed

a couple of F-18s.

I can't believe
you're actually going

to pull this off.

When you've operated
on a couple of Admirals,

a ship-to-shore patch
isn't so hard to get.

COLIN: Hello, SL-234,

this is Lieutenant
Commander Colin Livingston.

Do you copy?

Okay, here we go.

Okay, uh, yes, honey, it's me.


Uh, roger, we copy.

I have the chaplain Jack
Forte here with me and...

about 200 crew members of
the Enterprise as witnesses.

Roger, Enterprise,
altitude 6,000 and climbing.


Okay, uh, roger,
Enterprise, we copy.

Sort of.

Uh, Chaplain, I guess you're on.

Hello, Amanda,

and to all those that have
gathered here... and there

to join this couple
in holy matrimony.

Marriage is a blessed event
in the... Hold it, Norman.

Clear to scattered.

HUD is operational, weapons
are armed and in locked position.

Request permission
to climb to angels...

Mark! Oh, I'm sorry, we
had a little frequency slip.

Well... Steve, do you
know how to do this?

Don't look at me.

And so, Amanda,
do you take Colin

to be your lawfully
wedded husband in...

Hey, you got it.

That's a negative
on the afterburn.

All systems look normal.

Over. Mark!

I almost had it. Norman!

Till death do you part?

That's it.


Hello? Do you copy?

A simple "I do"... Roger?

Is all that's necessary.

I do.

And do you, Colin,
take Amanda...

That's negative, Enterprise.

We're going to
have to go around.

Then go around, just go away.

Do you want to
repeat that, Enterprise?

Till death do you part?

I do. He does.

I do. Who was that?

I think you just
married the pilot.

No, it was Colin,
I'm sure it was Colin.

Enterprise, Enterprise,
do you copy?

Hello? Hello, Enterprise?

I got to find that
ham radio book.

Where'd I put it? Do you copy?

Enterprise, hello?

Hello, anybody there?

Anybody there?