Diagnosis Murder (1993–2001): Season 2, Episode 3 - Woman Trouble - full transcript

After a public confrontation, Robert Stanton's wife and mistress conspire to kill him and dispose of his body. When Robert fails to show for a medical appointment, Mark convinces Steve to investigate their complicated relationship.


(steady beep tone)

(theme song playing)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(laughter and
indistinct chatter)

(instrumental jazz playing)

(pager beeping)

MAN: Really?

WOMAN: Over here...!

Is that part of your
security duties,

dancing with the guests?

She doesn't know
I'm working security.

She thinks you're a guest?

(sighs): Worse.

A, uh, philanthropist.

A philanthropist?

She asked me to dance,

and you always taught
me to be polite to strangers,

so I said yes.

It's going great... I'm
not stepping on her feet...

And then she asked
me if I'm like the rest

of the guys here... you
know, I only care about money.

I figure she doesn't
like that kind of guy,

so I said, "Hell, no,
I'd rather give it away."

(chuckles): A philanthropist.

Your only hope now
is to win the lottery

and start donating millions.

Either that, or tell the
young lady the truth

before you get in so
deep, you can't get out.

You're absolutely right.

First chance I get, I'll, uh,

buy a couple of lottery tickets.

I got to call the station.

Don't blow my cover.


Mark, thank you for
coming. Hey, Robert.

(laughs): I wouldn't
miss it. Irene. Hi. Ah.

Dr. Shepard tells me

that you're a model patient.

Well, there's
nothing to it really.

He's a wonderful cardiologist.

Thanks for sending him to me.

Oh, anything I can do to help.

Irene, would you
excuse us for a moment?

(clears throat)

Well, sure, um, if you promise
to give me the next dance.

We'll twirl, we'll
spin, we'll fandango,

as soon as I have a nap.


I was gonna return
your call tomorrow.

All six of them?

I just had my physical.
You said I was fine.

Well, I have to
repeat your X-ray,

and I need a few more lab tests.

What's wrong?

Well, a faulty X-ray, I hope,

or T.B.

T.B.? Well, that
went out years ago.

Well, it's back.

It's still curable, but it's
nothing to fool around with.

You're scaring the
hell out of me. Good.

Be at my office at 8:00 a.m.


Robert, this could be serious.

Look, at 8:00, I have
to be in my office

on a conference call to Japan.

It's a deal I've been working on

for a couple of years,
and I can't blow it now.

Okay. I'll switch
the schedule around.

Okay, Okay. WOMAN: Robert!

Get out of my way!
Excuse me, ma'am.

MAN: Please, ma'am!

WOMAN: You weasel!

I got this notice this morning.

You're selling my condo!

This morning? You told me
she was out of there a year ago.

The market took a dip.

I couldn't get rid of it.

Get off my lawn
and out of the condo.

You lost, Marilyn.
Robert's staying with me.

Have the good grace to retire

to a home for old sluts.

He may be staying with
you, but he loves me.

Can't we discuss this?

You coward!


WOMAN 2: Oh!

WOMAN 3: Oh...

Irene, I swear, I-I...

I've, I've had the condo on
the market for a year, but it...

(guests exclaiming)

Now I know why
you never have time

to return your phone calls.

I should have stuck
to hostile takeovers.

They're friendlier.

I think so.

(instrumental jazz plays)

Boy, rich people are sure
different than you and me, huh?

They own their tuxedos
and rent their women.


Can I borrow your keys? Why?

So I can start your car.

Oh. How am I going to get home?

I'll call a squad car.

They'll take you
home. Oh, great.

The neighbors'll think
I've been arrested.

Yeah, but Melanie will
think I own a classic Jag.


MELANIE Great car.


And in perfect condition.

Who works on this car?

Are you the mechanic?

Yes, I am.

What's the point in
owning a classic automobile

if you can't get under
the hood and, uh, tinker?

I'm impressed.

Most of the collectors I know
won't get their hands dirty,

but you're the hands-on type.

I like that.

Now, tell me about
your philanthropy.

(blows air through lips)

What's to tell?

How do you decide
who gets the money?

Do you donate
through a foundation,

or do you pick
the charity yourself

and just show up at the doorstep

waving a check like Ed McMahon?

Well, philanthropy is a
complicated business.

Not that it's, you
know, a business, but...

it's philanthropy, and it's...


IRENE: You're not spending

another night in this house.
Hey, I'm not going anywhere.

Yes, you are.

You're leaving.

Now you're angry

because I've still
been seeing Marilyn,

but the bottom line is,

you like being
Mrs. Robert Stanton

and the lifestyle
that goes with that.

My lifestyle isn't gonna change.

I own the company, remember?

Only on paper, Irene.

Oh, you can diddle the IRS,

but your diddling days with me
are over in more ways than one.


(sighs heavily)

let's start fresh.

That's what you said a year ago.

This time, I mean it.

I'm not signing the
company back over to you.

Damn it, Irene, I need control

to close this deal
with the Japanese.

I mean, this is millions for us.

Do you love her?

(sighs) Oh, no.

Not even a teensy
weensy little bit?

She was just a-a
diversion, that's all.

It's you I love, Irene.

Oh. Oh, Robert.

I'm not signing the papers.

(shouting): Irene!


Hi, honey.

Bye, honey.




What... what have
you done? (panting)

Killed him, just
like we planned.

I didn't think
you'd actually do it.


What is it? What's wrong?

My medicine.

The bathroom cabinet.


(water running)


How many?


This is insane!

You actually killed him.

We killed Robert.

We discussed it at lunch?

His lies, his duplicity.

I don't remember much
after the third martini.

When you found out
he was still seeing me,

you wanted to go right over

to his office and shoot him?

Well, that seems
a little extreme.

Have you forgotten about
the Porsche he bought me?

The trip to Aruba?

The diamonds for
Christmas? (exhales heavily)

The sapphires for my birthday?

Maybe you should
shoot him again.


That's my girl.

(both women panting)

MARILYN: He weighs a ton.

How could you let him
get so out of shape?

Oh, me? It's your fault.

He gave up exercising
when he started seeing you.

Not enough hours
in the day, I suppose.

I didn't feed him French food.

All those creamy sauces.

My gosh, weren't you
worried about his cholesterol?

He's dead, for God's sake.

What are you carping
about cholesterol?

I got to rest.


(both panting)


Robert always put on weight
when he was having an affair.

(exhales loudly)

What do you mean, always?

Well, there was
his secretary and

some actress, and

before her, there was...


Did you think you
were the only one?

Of course not.

You did.

Did he tell you

you were the only
woman he ever truly loved?

And did he send you roses

every week, and were they red?



And did he buy you a pet
so you wouldn't be lonely?

A poodle named Sweetie.


To remind you of him.

Well, look on the
bright side, Marilyn.

You were far from the first, but

you're definitely the last.

You two-timing creep!

(both women grunting)

Where's the suitcase?

I couldn't carry him
and the suitcase.

Well, go get it while I bag him.

(doorbell ringing)

Good evening, Officer.

Is-is anything wrong?

Sorry to bother
you, Mrs. Stanton,

but a neighbor reported
hearing shouting.

Is everything okay?

Oh, I'm sorry. I was
watching a movie.

I had the volume
turned up too loud.

Thank you so much for coming by.

You make me feel very safe.

Well, that's what
we're here for.

Good night, Mrs. Stanton.

Good night, Officer.

The security guard came by.

My neighbors reported shouting.

Is he still here?

No. I told him I turned
the TV up too loud.

He'll make a report.

Oh, my God, we're
gonna be in trouble.

Irene, don't fall apart on me!

I underestimated you, Marilyn.

How's that, Irene?

You look like a bimbo,
you sound like a bimbo,

but you're not.

You're ruthless.

Thank you, Irene.

You're welcome.

MARILYN: Okay, go over it again.

I tell people

we had a really
terrible argument

over you, Robert stormed out,

and when he doesn't come back...

I report him missing.

Oh... Darn it!

What is it?

A police car. Oh!

(short siren blast) Oh,
my God. What'll we do?

Pull over.

(indistinct police
radio chatter)

Evening, ma'am.

Your rear door is flopping open.

It could be that lock is sprung.

Oh... I...

I just had it fixed.

I'm an antique
dealer and the van's

full of furniture.

I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm
going to have to write you

a "fix it" ticket.

You got any rope in the van?

No. I-I should, but I don't.

I've got some in my car.

I'll tie that shut for you. Oh.

Don't go to any trouble.

No trouble.

He's going to
find Robert's body.

A little louder. I don't
think he could hear you.

You've got something
that's in the way here.

Oh. Uh... it's an antique cello.

I'll get it.

I don't know how to
thank you enough, officer.


I'm just glad I could help.



No handcuffs.


No wonder Robert
wouldn't divorce you.

You're such a Pollyanna.

(engine starts)

(insects chirping, loon calling)

Okay, get his feet.

Thank you.


Good-bye, Robert.

(intercom buzzes)

DELORES (over intercom):
It's wherever you put it.

Put what?

Whatever you lost. I
didn't lose anything.

Hold on. Delores?

Well... as I live and breathe.

It's really you!

And who else would it be?

Oh, the doctor that loses

everything I put in his office,

buzzes me 20
times a day to find it.

Where's that chart I
gave you this morning?


Signed and ready
to file. Surprise!


I buzzed you because
I wanted you to call

Robert Stanton's office.
He's over an hour late

for his appointment. Hey, D.

Hey, Doc. Morning
there, good doctor.

Morning. Good morning.

I've got Mrs.
Dettmer's test results.

Roger Critchlow's
pathology report.

Which one you want first?

Uh... I'll tell you,

Amanda's patients are
a little less demanding.

I'll start with you. (chuckles)

That was funny. All right,

I performed an
upper G.I... Ah... three

of my favorite people.


Amanda, you are looking

exceptionally beautiful today.

Well, thank you.

It must be the lab coat.

STEVE: Hey, Jack,
bud. How're you doing?

Real good, Steve.

You know something?

We haven't seen enough
of each other lately.

What do you say
one night this week

we go out and have a couple of
brews, shoot some hoops, huh?

How much?

Excuse me?

How much you want?

Now that you, uh...

mentioned it, you know, I could

use a few bucks. Would this

have anything to do with the
young lady you met yesterday?

What young lady?

A socialite from
the Stanton party.

Well, she's a lot
more than that, Dad.

She is bright, she's articulate,

she's informed... and I, uh,

promised I'd take her
out on the town tonight.

All right. What do you need?


Five... what?

What town are you
taking her out on?

Uh, Las Vegas. Somehow, she

got the idea that
I've got a limo

on call 24 hours a day.

But don't worry. I've got
one rented for this evening.

Tapped out the guys
down at the precinct.

I am only short
$500. MARK: Steve,

that hole you're
digging for yourself,

what are you going to
do when you fall in it?

Well, I'll just confess
everything on the way back.

Well, you'd better make sure
that she's wearing her seatbelt.

I could go, uh... $40.

Good man.

I know I am setting a
bad example here. I'll go...


It's for a good cause.

Huh! Not on your life.

I do not finance treachery
and deceit with cash.

I take credit cards.


Uh, Mr. Stanton's office

says he hasn't
been in this morning.

Oh. Thank you, Delores.

Something's not
right about that.

I think I will make

myself a house
call. Uh, what about

uh, Mrs. Dettmer?

Hold her another day. Okay.


House call? Hey, D,

get his horse and
buggy ready, will you?

(doorbell rings)

Dr. Sloan.

Morning, Rosemary.

Is Mr. Stanton in? I
haven't seen him today.

Matter of fact, his
Financial Daily Times is still

on the hall table.

Hmm. Mrs. Stanton?


Thank you.

(knocking on door)

Come in, Rosemary.

I'm afraid it's just your
friendly neighborhood doctor.


How you feeling?

Well, I'm all right.

A little tired.

Take your medication?

It doesn't seem to
be as effective lately.

Hmm. Let's see.

Maybe you should
speak to Dr. Shepherd

about increasing the dosage.

I've just been under a
lot of strain, that's all.

You, uh... watching your diet?


Not smoking?

I eat low-fat,

and I don't allow
smoking in the house.

Uh... and I... I
use the treadmill.

Robert does, too.

Oh, Robert's the reason I came.

He had an appointment
with me at 10:00 in my office.

He never showed up.

And he has not
been in his office.

Oh, Mark.

Robert and I had a
terrible fight last night,

and He packed his suitcase

and left.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I was so hoping
you could work it out.

Me, too.

It will, I think.

We love each other, you know.

I always thought so.

You said he had an appointment.

Is he sick?

No. Nothing for
you to worry about.

Do you know
where I can find him?


He's with her.

Will you get me some Kleenex...

from the bathroom? Certainly.

Irene, you should
not be out of bed.

Thank you.

Get back in there.

Oh, thanks.

You get yourself some rest.

I'll call you later.


Thank you, Mark.

Marilyn? If you're
there, pick up.

We have to talk.

Marilyn? Oh!

Meet me at the club.


Forgot my bag.

(doorbell rings)

Miss Kramer? I'm Mark Sloan,
Robert Stanton's physician.

Oh. May I come in?

Why not? Thank you.

You were there yesterday
when I made my grand entrance.

Yes, I was. You can
certainly liven up a party.

I'll bet it was awfully
quiet after I left.

No. Just the sound
of dropping jaws.

Is Robert here?

I really need to talk to him.

Oh, I get it.

Irene thinks Robert's
here, and sent you

over to fetch him home.

Oh, no. He didn't show
up for an appointment.

I was a little
concerned about him.

Oh. I haven't seen him

or heard from him,

but I've been at the gym

all morning.

Um... you know, I've gotten
one of those sinus headaches.

You know how fast they come.

Can you spare a
couple of aspirin?

Oh, sure.

Oh, thank you.

I appreciate it.

IRENE: Marilyn, if you're
there, pick up. We have to talk.

Marilyn? Meet me at the club.

Oh, wonderful.

I really appreciate this.

These can be really deadly.

Thank you.


Listen, if you hear
from Robert, or see him,

would you ask him
to give me a call?

Yes. And I will hear from him.

You know, we really
do love each other.

Is something wrong?

Well, I... you know,
I can't get rid of this

nagging feeling that
something's happened to him.

Really? Like what?

I don't know.

I'm probably just
worrying for nothing.

Forget I said anything.

You know, that is very,
very bad for your health.

Look, if you'd like
to stop smoking,

you can do what a
friend of mine does.

Smoke all you want,

but just take one
puff off each cigarette.

Pretty soon, it's not
worth the trouble.

I hope that advice is free.

No charge for common sense.

Thank you very much
for the, uh, aspirin.

I'll see myself out.

(phone ringing on other end)

IRENE: Hello.

Mark Sloan was just
here looking for Robert.

He was here, too.

Do you think he
suspects something?

Well, how would I know?

You're the expert in this field.


A talented amateur, then?

Try not to be so shrill.

It's not very attractive.

What are we going to do?

You take a pill, and I'll
take care of Dr. Sloan.


Depends how persistent he is.

MARK: This is bad.

Mark, everyone pretty much knows

that cigarettes are bad for you.

No, I mean, I found this one
in Robert and Irene's bedroom.

This one I took
from Marilyn Kramer.

They're a perfect match right
down to the shade of lipstick.

Marilyn and Irene are
trading phone calls.

Maybe they're trying
to patch things up.

Now, Irene's been under a
considerable amount of stress.

Even her heart medicine doesn't
seem to be helping right now.

Well, her husband
did just walk out on her.

When I made some comment
about my concern for Robert's welfare,

um, Marilyn got, uh, agitated,


Well, maybe he
walked out on her, too.

I think it's more
than that, Steve.

I think they did
something to him.

Oh, come on, Dad.

I mean, so far
he's just missing,

and not for that long either.

Well, you know,

Robert's a patient
and Irene's a friend.

I really hate this
feeling I'm having.

Then prove that he's alive.


Well, if these two
women didn't bury him

in the backyard, then
he's got to be some place,


Jack, you're brilliant.

I told you.

Steve, will you
check the airlines?

Yeah, if he used his own
name, I'll find out where he went.

Gee, I-Irene and Marilyn
are meeting at some club.

Unfortunately, I
don't know which one.

The Belmont Country Club.

Just like that

you come up with it?

Jack, brilliance is
such a relative thing.

(scoffs) Marilyn
Kramer's hosting

a charity fashion show
there this afternoon.

Well, there you go.

They're so teed off at Robert,

they're gonna
spend him to death.

Don't you wish
you could be a fly

on the wall? Ooh,
I wish I could.

However, I do know a couple
of people who are off-duty.


Oh, we'd love to.

The makeup and hair tips alone

are worth the
price of admission.

Yeah, well, I'm not having
any problem with my makeup...

Yeah, but... so get off me.

Jack, the models?

You know, I, I could
free up some time.

To help Mark.

Thanks a lot, guys.

You'll go,

you'll come back,
you'll tell me I'm wrong.

I, I feel better already.

Hi, guys.

Hey, Steve. Hi, Steve.

Listen, before you head
off to that fashion show,

I need your help. Yeah.

I told you I will not fund
treachery and deceit, Steven.

STEVE: Treachery and
deceit are doing just fine.

I took out a small loan
from the credit union.

Yeah? Good.

Man, you'll be
riding high tonight,

having a ball.

What's the problem?

I've never dated
a rich girl before.

What are we going to talk about,

locked in that limo for all
those hours, just the two of us?

Drop a few names.

Um, Saint Moritz, uh...

Cap d'Antibes. Captain T.

You know, you show her
you've been around a little bit.

STEVE: Is that what you do?

Oh, it depends.

Like when I date doctors,
I end up talking shop.

I'll say something like, uh,

"You should have seen this guy

"who came into the
emergency room last night.

He had his arm on backwards."


Yeah, he had a severe
dislocated shoulder,

so I had to just pop it back in.

But, Amanda, I think you'll
go along with me on this one

that women doctors,
they go nuts for that stuff.

Am I right? Oh, yeah.
Dislocated shoulder?

Mm-hmm. I don't know if I
can control myself sometimes.

It's such a turn-on.

And then when I,
like, date somebody

from my old neighborhood, I
talk about who's out on bail, uh...

who's running what scam,

who's been indicted, who's dead.

You know?

You stick with what you know.

Yeah, pretty much.

You see, if Melanie was a cop,

we'd just go out
for a beer and pizza,

and then we'd brag
about all the great busts

we've made.

You ever date a rich girl?

Once. Once.

All she ever talked about
was her father's polo ponies.

I figured horses, right?

So I chimed right in
with telling her how

to bet the trifecta
at Hollywood Park.

For some reason, it
didn't go over too well.

Excuse me, gentlemen.


I'm a rich girl.

Yes, you are.


Yes. Darling?


Tell me what to say.





When she gets finished talking,

you look deep into her eyes

and you say,

"Whenever I'm in the
presence of a beautiful woman,

I just get all tongue-tied."


Hmm? That's good.


That's damn good.

Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

Thank you. I've got
to make a phone call.

Yeah, I like that a lot.

All right, we can't get
in the front Here you go.

Without an invitation.

We need a couple
of those badges.

Want to say it a
little bit louder?

Just do something.

Hey! Ow!

Watch it. I'm sorry, excuse me.

Klutz. Excuse him. Excuse me.

Excuse him.


I'm sorry.

I bet they never let you
near the collection plate.

You ready? Yeah.

Let's go. Okay.


Oh, no!

Well, you're not
exactly high fashion.

You're no prize
either, pal. Yeah.

It's too late to return you.

We'll just have to make do.

So, go ahead, get
in your costumes

and pray that those ladies
have been lunching on martinis.

Go on! I beg your pardon!

Go on! Go, go, go, go, go!

Give this guy a
shot right in the face.

ANNOUNCER: which, of
course, would not be complete

without a look at next
season's line from Rachel.

Hasn't she done a
wonderful job, ladies?

(light applause)

Standing on the spotlight,
she likes to call this one

Career Girl.


Dinner at eight...

Eight's lovely, don't you think?

Of course, this is one of my
favorites, Enchanted Evening.


JACK: I thought Nehru
jackets went out with Nehru.

Yes, well, they're back.
But not on you, honey.

You look like a waiter.

Classic lines here.

Well, while you're insulting me,
our pigeons are flying the coop.

They're getting
away. Do something.

They're getting away!

What are you doing?
What are you doing?

I'm getting us out of here.

Jump, come on.

Now wave, wave.


Wait, wait, wait.

What are you doing down here?

Getting a bagel. Ta-ta, sweetie!

Watch out. Get out of my way.

Excuse me.

All right. So now what?

Well, you said I
look like a waiter.

Yeah, you do.

Let's see if I can act
like one. Mm-hmm.


May I have a menu, please?

More water? Thank you.

We're going to get caught.

The police are
going to arrest us

and drag us off
to jail in handcuffs.

We'll end up in
prison with those...

those Manson girls.

Irene, get a grip.

How would anyone know?

The traffic ticket.

It has the time and the place,

the license number

of your van; the
cop will remember.

MARILYN: Waiter?

(clears throat)

Sorry. It's okay.

What are the specials? Um...

you don't want
any of the specials.

They're full of fat.


Uh, what about salads?

Excellent choice.

Wait, don't you want
to know what kind?

Why, uh...

tossed salad

with a little low-cal ranch
dressing on the side, right?

Good. Okay.

I can't do it, Marilyn.

I can't take the pressure.

Irene, this is not
a garden party.

You can't fire the caterer
because you hate the cheese dip.

I have nightmares.

I keep seeing Robert's face.

It's natural.

It's like buyer's remorse.

You want something
desperately and you get it.

And then you're not sure

you really wanted
it in the first place.

Oh, my God, we're
not talking about a jeep.

Robert's dead.

Either you straighten up
or I'll leave town tonight.

You can't do that.

Why not?

I have the million

you deposited into my account.


No. My fee

for helping you kill a
husband you hated.

Cheap at twice the price.

Now, Irene, are you
going to get through this

or am I going to send you
a postcard from Hawaii?

MARK: A traffic ticket?

Did they say when?


Just that they were
in Marilyn's van.


Why were they...?

They killed Robert, put
his body in the van and

took him somewhere.

Mark, you are
jumping to conclusions.

What else could it be?

Irene couldn't kill a fly.

The woman's a wreck.

Marilyn? Well, she probably

eats nails for breakfast.

Hey, gang. Hey!

Hey, Steve. (Mark whistles)

Nice with the suit.

$100 down

and $100 a month
for the rest of my life.

You haven't told her the truth?

Dad, a limousine ride to Vegas.

Ringside at Liza. Dinner at

the MGM Grand. This
is no time for the truth.

Son, you can count
on me for one thing.

When all this blows
up in your face,

I will not say, "I told you so."

He'll just write you a
note. That's a relief.

But since I have been so
kind and so understanding,

I've lent you my classic car
and you're into me for 50 bucks,

I know you won't mind
doing me a little favor.

Never get into hock
to your old man.

I'll explain on the way out.

See you later. Bye.

(distant doorbell ringing)

Mark, Steve.

May we come in?

Of course, come on in.

This is about Robert, isn't it?

Something's happened to him.

Why don't you tell us?

Just a minute, Steve.

Steve is investigating
Robert's disappearance,

and he has this idiotic notion

that you know more
than you're saying.

You don't mind answering
a few questions, do you?

I guess not.

Good, we'll get
rid of this nonsense

and get it out of the
way once and for all.

Ask your questions,
Steve, lame as they may be.

How do you explain

two women who are
supposed to be rivals

meeting at the country
club fashion show

and then having lunch together?

Well, that is outrageous.
Irene, tell him.

You just ran into Marilyn
at the fashion show.

Robert is kicking
her out of the condo.

She was begging me for
more time to find a new place.

Makes perfect sense.

Now let's go. That doesn't
explain the security patrol.

What security patrol?

Foxworth Security
patrols your neighborhood.

Last night a guard responded
to a report of a violent argument.

You said you had your
TV turned up too loud.

I did. But you told

my father that you and
Robert argued... violently.

I had the TV on too loud
to cover our argument.

I wasn't about to tell

a perfect stranger that my
husband walked out on me.

Of course not.

What about this?

What is that?

It's a copy of a traffic ticket.

It says that at 11:45
last night, an officer

pulled over a van on
Sherwood Lake Road.

The driver was Marilyn Kramer.

The passenger
fits your description.

Are you all right?

Yes, I'm fine.

I don't know anything
about that ticket

and I don't know where
that tramp was last night

or who was with her.

I only know that I love Robert,

and I want him to come home.

You don't really believe
I'd do anything to hurt him?

Why would I do that, Mark?

Joint bank accounts.

A company worth millions.

You were tired of Robert's lies,

but not of his money.

So you and Marilyn Kramer killed

your husband. All
right, that is enough.

Mrs. Stanton has rights,

and I believe you
have just violated

every one of them.

Now, let's go.

My attorney's not going
to be too happy to hear

I'm the victim of
police harassment.

I'm just doing my job, Irene.

Job or no job, you're
within your rights.

File suit.

I like playing good cop/bad cop.

Do you want to play
the bad cop next time?


What do you think?

Well, I hate to admit it,

but, uh, I think
they did it, too.


IRENE: He actually accused us

of murdering Robert.

Did you tell him anything?


I threw them out of the house.

Well, all we have
to do is sit tight.

They don't have any proof.


(doorbell ringing)

Oh, God. I hope that's not
them back for a rematch.


Mrs. Stanton?

If you're selling something...

As a matter of fact, I am.

Well, whatever it
is, I'm not interested.

I was fishing in Sherwood Lake

and caught something
that belongs to you.

Who are you?

Peter Kincaid.

I run the bait and
tackle shop on the lake.

And just what do you
think you've found?

A body bag.

And guess what's inside it.

Imagine my shock.

I thought we'd talk before
I informed the authorities.

MARILYN: Mr. Kincaid,

I doubt very much
that you found anything.

And if you did, I
doubt very much

that it's worth talking about.

Robert's signet ring.

Now, do we have
something to talk about here?

What do you want?

What I have is worth a fortune.

What I want is $500,000.

(wry chuckle)

That's robbery.

Mr. Stanton was
an important man.

You're a rich widow.

Where is he?

On ice.

We want to see it.

Well, don't take too long.

My policy is

to turn over all
unclaimed merchandise

to the police.

Have a nice day, ladies.

Half a million for Kincaid.

What the hell are
you so upset about?

It's not your half a million.

It's the principle.

(chuckles): Oh, I see.

You want to be the only
blackmailer in the group.

Life with Robert has
taught me one thing.

There's no problem that can't
be solved by throwing money at it.

Well, you'd better limber up.

A half a million will put a
strain on anybody's arm.

MARK: Really, Dr. Shepard?

When was that?

And she didn't complain?

Well, of course I
guess she wouldn't,

unless the
conditions were right.

Okay, look, at the
next AMA convention,

I'll buy you dinner... low cal.

No cal.

We'll eat the menus.



Listen, thanks for doing this.

Hey, it doesn't hurt to have

the Chief of Internal
Medicine owe you a favor.

(chuckles) That's on line two.

(speaking Japanese)

You're right on the money.

I am sorry to hear that.

MARILYN: $500,000.

It's less than you cost Robert.

You're nuts.

I was the deal of the century.

And obviously, Robert
thought I was worth it.

Not enough to marry you.

Well, to hear you tell it,

being married to Robert
wasn't such a picnic.

Besides, I learned my lesson.

No more married men.

Only married men.

Besides their money, you get
their passion, romance, flowers.

Let their wives listen
to their complaints

and pick up their dry cleaning.

But next time, I get
the condo in my name.

When this is over, I never
want to see you again.

You won't.

For another million.


Hey, I'm a problem, Irene.

Throw money at me.

And if I don't,
are you gonna tell

the police that, uh,
we killed Robert?


I'll tell them you did it.

(both chuckle)

Let's scratch each other's
eyes out when you get back.

You're not going with me?

We've been seen together
much too often as it is.

Let's not tempt fate when
we're so close to the finish line.

It's a long drive.

You'll be here when I get back?

I'll have a candle
in the window.

(crickets chirping,
frogs croaking)

Good girl.

Right on time.

Electricity went out, you know.

Oh, yeah.

What am I paying for?

Sure you want to see it?


But I'd be a fool to
hand over $500,000

unless you have
what you say you have.

In the back.

♪ ♪




We did it.

She's dead.

I could have
suffocated in that thing.

Stupid woman.

Should have done
what she was told

and signed the
company back to me.

She could be out
shopping right now.

But then you and I
couldn't get married.

Isn't that what you said

when you talked me
into this thing? Mm.

That you wanted our
relationship to be out in the open?

No more sneaking
around, no more secrets?

Of course, darling.
We're going to be married.

You know, Robert, I
think I'd rather be single,

and as rich as you're
going to make me.

Marilyn, what's gotten into you?

Greed, Robert.

She caught it from you.

You all right, Irene?



Surprise, darling.

STEVE: Mr. Stanton, Miss Kramer,

you're under arrest
for attempted murder.

You know, Robert, brutality
in business is one thing...

It's only money...

But trying to scare
Irene into a heart attack,

how could you do that?

STEVE: Quite a drama
you staged, Mr. Stanton.

Sending Marilyn to tell
Irene about your affair.

MARK: Irene was
distraught, she was vulnerable.

And when Marilyn said you
didn't deserve to live, she agreed.

And then you faked your own
murder and hired this sleazeball

private detective
to lure Irene here.

(handcuffs clicking)

You can't prove any of this.

God knows I tried not
to, Robert, but I did.

Months ago, you
called Dr. Sheppard.

You told him Irene was having

some side effects
from her heart medicine.

He lowered the dosage.

You set her up to drop dead

of shock at the sight of you.

IRENE: Luckily, Mark came by

this afternoon and gave
me the right dosage.

I should have known
you were up to something.

You had your hair done.

How did you know
I was still alive?

I didn't know whether
you were or not, Robert,

to tell you the truth.

But I figured that
if you were alive,

you couldn't let that
Japanese deal fall through.

So I had a friend call Japan.

It's all circumstantial.

Irene is my wife; she
can't testify against me.

But I can, and will.

For the right deal.

Oh, the D.A. will be very happy
to talk to you, Miss Kramer.

STEVE: Edwards,
they're all yours.

Read them their rights.

EDWARDS: You have
the right remain silent.

Well... (chuckles)

How could I have been so stupid?

You were very cleverly
manipulated, Irene.


Thank you, Mark.

Melanie, there's
something I got to tell you.

I'm not rich.

I'm not a philanthropist.

I'm a cop.

A lieutenant in homicide.

I knew that.

You did?

Daddy always
investigates the men I date.

Oh, God.

Why didn't you say something?


I was having too much fun.



tomorrow, I'm off
to Paris for a year.

A year?

But I'll make you a proposition.


Well, I, uh, told her.


How'd she take it?

Pretty well, for the most part.

She, uh, wants me to go away...

with her for the weekend.

Paris, all expenses paid.

You were right, Dad.

Honesty is the best policy.

Well, let that be
a lesson to you.


(theme song playing)