Diagnosis Murder (1993–2001): Season 1, Episode 9 - The Restless Remains - full transcript

Mark tries rollerskating, even to work now his car doesn't start again. Then he tries a traditional Indian purification rite on Ogala Sioux patient Clarke to take over his sinusitis, in front of his med class. After a root canal, Mark gets a call and visit at home from TV investment guru Robin Westlin, who believes to be poisoned and dies right there, but when the paramedics arrive both his car and corps have disappeared, even Steve thinks it's laughing gas hallucinations, but Mark finds Robin's dropped his pocket diary. Both his chief deputy Tim Rutland and secretary and dumped girlfriend, as well as his wife Meg, claim Robin is alive, but he's nowhere to be found, so the Sloans, Jack as 'psychiatric outpatient Mark's shrink' and 'reporter' Amanda snoop on at the Westlin Institute...

Sorry I'm late. Car
wouldn't start again.

Mark, you gotta
buy a new car, really.

There's nothing
wrong with that car.

It's a little... What
do they call it?


No. All I need is a tune-up.

That car needs to be blown up.

All right, the first guy we got
right here is, uh, Mr. Clarke.

Clarke, right.

Ready? Yeah.

Morning, everybody.

Good morning, Dr. Sloan.

Mr. Clarke, how are
you feeling today?

Hmm, not so good.

Oh. Yeah.

Let's have a look here.

His pressure's been
dropping all morning.

And he's not responding
to his antibiotic IV.

Well... Not making
much progress here.

All right.

You know, when traditional
methods don't work,

we, as doctors, cannot be
closed to alternative medicines.

Now, Mr. Clarke,
our patient here,

is a full-blooded Oglala
Sioux Native American

who suffers from
chronic sinus headaches.

Now, in his culture they
believe a medicine man cures

by taking the pain
into themselves.

It's a very simple ritual.
We take some sage,

which I am going to light.

This is just to purify
and clean the air.

Get it lit around there.

And then I just
say a simple prayer.

To the east,

to the west, to the north,

to the south.

And I lay a hand

on Mr. Clarke's forehead
and sinus cavities.

And I silently meditate

and hopefully take his illness

into myself.

Could be on his rounds.
Did you page him? You did?

What's burning in there?

Get out of the way!
Move it, move it.

Pronto, move!

What's going on in here?

Mr. B, come on. Come with me.

There's a very important
experiment going on in there.

All right. The blood pressure
is on the way back up.

Oh, well... That's
a pretty good start.

You rest a while, Mr. Clarke.

We'll come and do it again.

Okay, everybody. Shall we?

Yes, sir.

Dr. Stewart and Dr. Bentley
will take you on your rounds.

All right, come
on, boys and girls.

Hi, Norman.

Sloan, what's going on in there?

Oh, uh, Mr. Clarke
is a Native American

and traditional forms of
treatment weren't working

so I tried an alternative
form of medicine

acting as his medicine man.

Medicine man? This is
a hospital, not a carnival.

I'm not guessing
his weight, Norman.

I mean, this
technique is a tradition

that goes back
centuries in his culture.

You know something?

I think it's working.

I have this slight headache.

Of course, that
could be my tooth.

Hi. Hi.

Car broke down again, huh?

Yeah, I think the timing
needs adjustment.

Would you call Herman and
see what time it will be ready?

Yes. Listen, if you
ever get rid of that car,

Herman goes out of business.

I'll get it.

Dr. Sloan.

Yes, I'll hold for Dr. Peterson.

Hi, Bill.

Yeah, I'll cover for
you, no problem.

Sure. Just have your
calls forwarded to me.

Right. Bye.

Ready to go?

Where are we going?

I'm driving you to the
dentist today, remember?

Oh, no. Oh, my God. Yeah.

And it's time to go. Come on.

Oh, darn.

Herman says they'll
drop your car off by 11:00.


You ready to go?

Delores, it is not necessary

for you to go to
the dentist with me.

Please, I've seen what that nitrous
oxide does to you. Come on, baby.

It's, uh, not a pretty sight.

Wait a minute.

I had one bad
experience with that stuff

and besides, I didn't
think I was Ethel Merman.

Although the nurses did give
me a nice standing ovation.


Dad, why don't you just have
them give you a local next time?

I can handle this
nitrous oxide all right,

it's the, uh... The root canal.

The root canal, that's...
that's what gets me.

Oh, nice.

Watch your step.


Uh, keys. I got the keys.

Whoa, Dad... No.

This way. There you go.


We're home!


Are you okay?

Here, let me take your coat.


Here we go.

Sit on the couch.


There. Now, you pick yourself
out something nice to watch.

And take it easy. I've got
your whole day covered for you.

Thank you. All you've
got to do is relax.

I'm just gonna go
fix you something.

You want to watch a little TV?

Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, Robin Westlin.
You ever watch him?

Who hasn't? He's on every
channel now except Playboy.

Finally decided to
become a millionaire?

Well, it's about time.

The people you're about
to meet have done it,

and you can do it, too.

I've got some soup on the stove.

Thank you, Delores.
You're welcome, darling.

Listen, uh... Here you go.

Call me if you need anything.

I mean... You call me. Yeah.

Right. Right.

Take it easy. I'll be good.

And believe me when I tell
you, ladies and gentlemen,

all this and more can be yours.

All it takes is lots of money.

And all it takes to
make lots of money

is the Robin Westlin
easy four-step method.

I've done it and
you can do it, too.

Just like Jan and Marvin here.

That's right, Robin.

Using the Westlin method,

we took a second mortgage
on our home and invested it

according to your
four easy steps.

And today, our net worth
is well over $1 million,

not counting our European
real estate holdings.

And it was fun and easy.

Dr. Sloan.

I'm... I'm having a serious
problem. Is Dr. Peterson in?

This is Dr. Sloan. I'm
covering for Dr. Peterson.

W-Where are you?

Listen, I'm... I'm in my car.

I'm on the, uh, the corner
of 12th and Montana.

All right, listen to me, you're only
two blocks from my house on Colorado.

It's a white house, green
shutters, middle of the block.

Can you make it here?

I'll be there in 30 seconds.

They haven't gotten me yet.

All right, I'll... I'll be waiting
out in the street, Mr...

Westlin... Robin Westlin.

I'm Dr. Sloan.

Please. Please, get me
in, okay? Put me inside.

I can't have people
seeing me like this.

What are your symptoms?

I can't seem to catch my breath.

I don't know what it is.

T-Trying to kill me.

It must be poison.

See, it's all in here.

Listen to me, what
kind of poison?

Pills... Medication.

Who did this to you?

Mr. Westlin... Mr. Westlin!

Yes, Dr. Mark Sloan,
6544 Colorado Drive.

I have an adult male
in full cardiac arrest.

I'm starting CPR.

What do we have, sir?

I did CPR for 10 minutes.

He's dead.

Got your message. What happened?

It's Robin Westlin,
Steve, he just died.

What do you mean? On TV?

He called me from his
car, drove over here,

and died in my living room.

He said he'd been poisoned.
That's why I called you.

Where is he now?

On the living room floor.

Oh, and his car was just stolen.

There was nobody here

and we went through the
entire premises. Nothing.

Well, I don't understand.

Robin Westlin collapsed
and died right there

not 10 minutes ago.

Are you sure he was dead?


Dad, are you feeling okay?

I feel fine.

I mean, he just didn't suddenly
get up and walk out of here?

No, he was dead. Trust me.

I'm a doctor, remember?

Well, I guess you won't
be needing us, after all.

No. Thank you.

You want me to sit with
you here for a while?

No, I want you to go find
out who killed Robin Westlin

and moved his body out of here.

And who also stole his car.

You know what I think, Dad?

I think you had a
painful root canal.

You had a lot of
heavy medication.

You were on that couch
watching Robin Westlin on TV.

You fell asleep...

I hallucinated the whole thing.


Dad, I'll bet you
Westlin is in his office

putting together a
few big deals right now.

All right, let's call him and
see if he's there. All right?

Well, if it will make
you feel any better.

What's the, uh... There you go.

You've got his card?

Well, I was checking
into a few programs.

See if I could make
some extra money.

I don't believe that.

You accuse me
of imagining things.

Westlin Institute.

Yes, uh, Mr. Westlin, please.

Mr. Westlin's office.

Yes, this is Dr. Mark Sloan. May
I speak to Mr. Westlin, please?

Oh, uh, Mr. Westlin
is in a meeting

and can't be
disturbed right now.

Are you sure about that?

Of course, I'm sure.

I mean, you actually saw him?

Dr. Sloan, I told you,
he's in a meeting.

May I have him call you?

No, uh, no, that's fine.

I'll call back.

I don't get it.

Dad, why don't you take
a nap. You'll feel better.

This is incredible.

Look, I gotta go.

Why don't you just
stay here, take it easy,

and I'll call you later.

All right, all right. Thank you.

Hey, Mark. Hi.

Did you, uh, find any
dead bodies in there?

You know the two paramedics
that I had out to the house? Yeah.

They came back here and told
everybody I was hallucinating bodies.

Everybody in the
hospital thinks I'm crazy.

Nobody thinks you're crazy.

A little eccentric, yeah,
but not crazy. I'll buy that.

But if I'm crazy,

how did I get Robin
Westlin's diary?

How do you know that's his?

Oh, it's his. Take
my word for it.

Oh, Mark, how are you feeling?

See what I mean?

Robin Westlin called me, came to
my house and said he'd been poisoned.

Then he dies of a heart attack.

The next thing, the
body disappears.

So, anybody who says he's
alive is the one who's crazy.

Look, is there anything
I can do to help?

I'm off in a few minutes.

Thanks, guys. I may call on you.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to go to
the Westlin Institute

and see what's going
on. See you later.

Oh, sir... It's all
right. I'm a doctor.

I'm sorry, sir, nobody's
allowed, unless...

I'm sorry. Say what?

I said, everybody
has to be cleared

to go on the elevator.

Does your jaw hurt?

Oh, it's killing me.

Tell me something, do you
get that little clicking noise

in there in the
temporomandibular joint?

Yeah. How did you know?

I'm a doctor. Oh.

It's been driving me
crazy for a month.

It's called temporomandibular
joint syndrome.

It's a very, very
common condition.

I'll tell you, there's a lot of
techniques we can use to relieve that.

I'll tell you, I'm late for
Mr. Westlin right now. Okay.

I'll talk to you
on the way back,

but in the meantime
try and relax that jaw.

Don't try to talk. Let it hang.

Just let it hang.
That's it. That's it.

I'll talk to you
when I come out.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Just relax that jaw.



Uh, Dr. Mark Sloan from
Community General Hospital.

You called this morning.

Right, right.

You must be, uh...
What was that?

K.D. Karen Davis.



Well, Robin left this
notebook with me.

You know, he, uh...

He told me he thought
someone meant him bodily harm.


Well, he's on a
conference call right now,

but I'll tell you what, I'll
make sure he gets that.

Oh, I'm sorry. I have
to give it to him myself.

It's personal.

Well, if you've already read it,

it isn't exactly a
secret, now, is it?

Yeah. You have a point there.

No, I really
shouldn't repeat that.

What is it?

It says in here, Karen,
that you and he had an affair

and when he broke it
off, you threatened him.

I did not...

Does it really
say that in there?

You know, I have probably
said too much already.

Would you please tell Robin

that I'd like to see
him when he's free.

Well, perhaps you'd like

to talk to Mr. Rutland. He's
Mr. Westlin's chief deputy.

Hi. Maybe I can help
you. I'm Tim Rutland.

It's good to see you. You're...?

Mark Sloan. I was just
reading about you here.

Well, something good, I hope.

Yes, this is
Mr. Westlin's diary.

Robin keeps a diary?

Yeah. I was just waiting
around till he got through

with his conference
call, return it to him.

Oh, that's very good of
you. I'll see that Robin gets it.

I'll tell you what, I've
stuck around this long,

I think I'll just wait until he's
through with his conference call.

Well, he just finished his call.

Oh, good, can I go
and see him now?

Oh, It's too late.
He's not in his office.

Left to go home for lunch.

Don't tell me... Out
a back entrance.

That's right, that's right.

So why don't you just
leave his diary with us?

I tell you, I've
waited this long...

I'll be back, okay?

All right, thanks.

What are we going to
do? Just don't panic, okay?

Now, how much does he know?

Well, he knows
about Robin and me

and he's making noises
like Robin was murdered.

Well, was he?

Why are you asking me that?

Because if someone
triggered this heart attack

it had to be you or her.

I know I didn't.

Oh, really? Well, maybe he
knew that you and his devoted wife

had plans of your own.


I forgot my business card.

I'm running a little short.

Yeah, it's me.

You're about to have a visitor.

Mrs. Westlin? Yes.

Yes, I'm Dr. Mark Sloan

from Community General Hospital.

I don't want to alarm you

but it's important that I speak
with your husband immediately.

May I come in?

Well... Just what is
this about, Doctor?

Well, he, uh, left
this book with me.

Well, I'll see that he gets it.

May I speak
confidentially, Mrs. Westlin?

If you insist.

Your husband said that
should any harm come to him,

the person or
persons responsible

would be in here. May I see it?

No, I'm afraid I can't do that.

Can you think of anyone who
might want to harm your husband?

No. Robin's very popular.

Oh. Sorry to hear that.


Well, yes. You see, it says
in here that he suspected

that you and Mr. Rutland
were conspiring against him

and he was going to fire him

and divorce you.

Dear, why don't
you give me the book

and I will take it up
with my husband.

Why don't you just tell him
that I'm waiting to see him?

Frankly, under
the circumstances,

I'm a little concerned
about his health.

Well, you just missed him,

but I can assure you
that he was fine at lunch

just a few minutes ago.

I just missed him.

Again, I just missed him.

My husband's hard
to keep up with.

Mrs. Westlin, your
husband is dead.

Now, if you just
had lunch with him,

either he didn't have
much of an appetite

or, as we both
know perfectly well,

you're lying in your teeth.

And you're insane.

And I want you out of my
house before I call the police.

All right, I'm going, but the
police are gonna be calling you

with some very interesting
questions that you are not going to like.

You'll see me again.

You were right.
We have a problem.

Oh... Hold... I...
I'll call you back.

Listen, I thought I told you...

Mrs. Westlin, how you doing?

I'm Dr. Jack Stewart from
Community General Hospital.

Oh, another one.

I just had a lunatic come
crashing through my home

claiming to be a doctor from
Community General Hospital.

Oh, he's been here already.

Yes, and he... he accused me
of the most unspeakable things.

Yes. That's, that's...
That's Mark Sloan.

Uh, Mrs. Westlin, I'm
very sorry to say this,

but he's one of our
psychiatric outpatients

and evidently he stopped
taking his medication.

Now, he has this notion
that your husband...

Yeah, he said my
husband was dead.

Yes, That's... That's
his latest obsession.

Well, a man like that should not
be allowed to run around loose.

Well, I'm sure lot of people
would agree with you on that.

Mrs. Westlin, if I may...

It's very possible that,
given his state of mind,

that Mark Sloan came back here

and that he forced
his way into your house

and that he's hiding in
here somewhere right now.

He's very capable of
that. And much worse.

Now, what I'd like to
do, if it's all right with you.

I'd like to go
through your house

and make sure that he's
gone for good. Okay?

Come in. Thank you.

Have you had lunch?

Uh, no, I haven't.

Mmm. Oh, hi.

Jaw still hurting you?
Don't talk. Just nod.

You're probably not
relaxing that jaw enough.

I know it's hard but
try to just let it hang.

Concentrate on... There.


Oh, incidentally,

I think I saw a
strange-looking guy

driving off in Mr. Westlin's car out
there. You ought to check that out.

Oh, yeah. Right.

Are these the updated figures?

Yes, as of yesterday.

Oh, have a seat.
I'll be right with you.

Now, you are Mr...
Sloan, Dr. Sloan.

Oh. Doctor.

That's good credibility.

All right.


What's your story?


Uh, yeah. That... That's
why we're here, Doc.

You tell me your "how
I made a million" story

using the Westlin
method, of course,

and if it's good enough,
I put it on television.

So, how much money did you make?

Uh, none.

Um, w-what do you mean, none?

Actually, I made
some, but I lost it.

Oh. What, like in the stock
market? Bad investments.

No, the laundry.

I had it in my... in
my pants pocket,

when I put in the washer.
When it came out, it was gone.

Um, exactly how much money
are we talking about here?

Oh, I'd say five, six bucks.

Well, that's what I got when
I sold Mr. Westlin's course

to my neighbor.

Is this some kind of joke?

Isn't that funny? That's exactly
what I said when I read the course.

That's why I sold it, actually.

Uh, I, uh, I have to go.

Dr. Sloan, Mrs.
Westlin called me

and described your visit to her.

How dare you make
such a ridiculous charge?

Mr. Rutland, could we
stop dancing around?

I would just like to see
Robin Westlin face to face,

if that's humanly possible.

He's tied up at the
moment. I'll bet he's tied up.

The car's still there.

What? He says
the car is still there.

Escort this gentleman off the
premises and don't let him in again.

Okay. Come on.

You can't hide
Robin Westlin forever.

He's going to have to
show up sooner than later.

You know, your problem
is probably stress-related.

Oh, really?

Well, TJS. There's
no question about it.

See, the minute you get nervous

and it gets stressed,
then those...

When's the last time
you had a fire drill here?


You know, the, uh,
hinges on your jaw

are a lot like the hinges
on this fire alarm. Don't.

The minute anything is a
little bit out of alignment there...

Don't... You're
in a lot of trouble.

Just a drill,
folks! Just a drill.

Everybody stay calm.

Just file out. That's it.


Steve, what are you doing here?

Amanda told me you
were coming over here.

What's going on?

They just told me that
Westlin was in the building

so he should be coming
out any minute, right?

Dad, it wasn't you that
pulled the fire alarm?

Well, it was the only way
I could empty the building.

Everybody's out.

What's he saying?

Everybody's out.

Can't he speak up? What
kind of security is this?

The man is saying that
everyone is out of the building

except Mr. Westlin, of course.

And he's not out
here. He can't be inside

and I don't see him
out here. Do you?

You're pushing it, Sloan.

Isn't it about time we
stopped this little pretense

that Robin Westlin is
alive out there somewhere?

This gentleman's
a police detective

with the Homicide Division.

I'm sure he has some
interesting questions to ask you.

You're a policeman? Mmm-hmm.

Good. Good. Arrest this man.

On what grounds?

Malicious mischief,
turning on a false alarm,

and endangering the
lives of innocent people.

Ask him about Westlin.

Dad, you're coming with me.

Aren't you going to
ask him about Westlin?

I'm telling you, the
man, he is not in there.

He's dead.

Look, I'll admit Westlin's
diary makes it sound

like he was afraid for
his life. Mmm-hmm.

But that still doesn't
prove he was murdered.

Yeah, I know.

Well. Oh, and thanks.

Any father whose son doesn't
arrest him is a lucky man.

That's true.

Look, if you get any more
on this, let me know, will you?

And, don't lose that. We
may have to take it to the DA.

Don't worry.

To radiology.
Dr. Pullman to radiology.

Mr. Clarke,

Norman Briggs, the
hospital administrator.

Nice to meet you, sir.

If you'll just sign right here.


Just a formality.

This releases the
hospital from any liability

related to what we call
"alternative treatments."

Dr. Sloan will cure
my sinus condition.

Well, Mr. Clarke, the
hospital can't be responsible

if by some fluke
Dr. Sloan doesn't cure you

with your alternative treatment.


Maybe you can.

Excuse me?

Mr. Clarke, what
exactly are you doing?


a medicine man can
be an empty vessel

in which to deposit
one's illness.

Mark. Hey, I got something here.

What are those?

Well, these are medications
that I pulled out of

Westlin's medicine
cabinet, right?

And these are pills
from his kitchen area,

which he takes every
morning before he goes to work.

Oh, so the wife did it.

Well, not necessarily.

There are three people
involved in this as far as we know.

There's Robin Westlin's wife,

his assistant, Rutland,

and his secretary, Miss Davis.

And they all three
claim he's still alive.

So then they all did it.

Well, maybe so, maybe not. One
could've done it. Two could've done it.

The thing is, we have
to prove he's dead

before we can figure
out who killed him.

Yeah, I looked all over that
house, even in the basement,

and there was no body. Nothing.

Well, then they've got
him on ice at the Institute.

How do you know that they
didn't just dump him somewhere?

Well, the murderer
followed Westlin to my house

so he probably didn't
have time to dispose of him.

And, of course, they couldn't
take a chance on him being found.

Yeah, I mean, as long
as people think he's alive,

they'll keep buying his books
and tapes and all that other junk.

I think that very, very soon he'll
be seen getting on his private jet,

or his yacht heading off
for a very long sabbatical.

And they'll play that
for as long as they can,

and then he'll turn up missing.

You know, I don't understand.
Robin Westlin was a golden goose.

Why would they want to kill him?

It beats me.

But they've got to get
rid of that body, and fast.

You know, I just wish
there was some way

we could look around
that institute, you know.

But if Mrs. Westlin sees me
there, my cover will be blown.

Tell you what, let me
take these down to the lab,

and see if we can at least
find out how he was killed.

So what about me? What can I do?

Hmm? Yeah. What can you do?

I know what you can do.


Yeah, can I have
the Westlin Institute?

You know, by the
way, I was wondering,

how did you get Mrs. Westlin to
let you snoop all over her house?

I, uh... Let's say I
gained her confidence.

Hi. Mr. Rutland's office.

And just how did you
gain her confidence?

Oh, it was real easy.

I'm a doctor.

Oh, you're a doctor.

How you doing? Uh, this is
Jack Stewart from the Examiner.

Excuse me.

I'm Amanda Barnes
of the Examiner.

I have an appointment
with Mr. Rutland.

Fourth floor.

Excuse me?

Fourth floor. Oh, boy.

Sir, has anyone ever told
you that you may be suffering

from temporomandibular
joint syndrome?

Yes! Oh, okay.

Amanda, what a surprise.

Hello, I'm Amanda Barnes.
I'm here to see Mr. Rutland.

Oh, he's in a meeting.

I'll just tell him
you're here. Okay.

Um, come in.

That reporter is here.


Any press we can
get on Robin right now

is all to the good.

Mr. Rutland.

Very nice to meet
you, Ms. Barnes.

Meg Westlin, Robin's wife.

How do you do? Hello, dear.

I'm really looking forward
to meeting your husband.

I admire that man so much.

So many people do.

But the amount of work he has
to do is absolutely staggering.

As a matter of fact, Robin
wants to see you now,

down in the auditorium.

Preparing for tonight's lecture.

I see. Um...

Do you think I could
sneak a peek of his office?

I don't see why not. This
way. Oh good. Thank you.

Oh, my, my, my.

This is very impressive.

Hey, sorry.



That's an original Tiffany.

Oh, Tiffany. Get a shot of that.

You know what I
love about this office?

It just spells success. Just...

Oh, it's beautiful.

Come see the Monet.

Love Monet.

I love Monet.

It's all given to him
by grateful clients.

Oh, I bet, yeah.

I see Mr. Westlin
likes fine wines.

Yes. It's one of his
most passionate hobbies.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I
have an appointment. Tim.

Let's go see if we can
catch Robin downstairs.

Good idea. That'd be good.

I'm very sorry. I just couldn't talk
Robin into that interview right now.

Yeah. He's preparing
tonight's lecture.

I'm kind of disappointed.

But maybe we can meet
here tonight after the lecture.

What a good idea. And I'll do
my best to get you that interview.

You know, I'd
really love to come

and if it's not asking too much,
maybe bring a few friends?

Not at all.

You can pick up as many
tickets as you need on the way out.


How's that? More
than I dare dream.

Thank you so much,
Mr. Rutland, for everything.

See you tonight. Okay.

And just who in
the hell are you?

I'm a friend of Mark Sloan's.

You better get out of here.

Hey, you know what? We
know that Westlin is dead.

You know what else?
We're going to prove it.

And when we do,
we're gonna figure out

which one of you
guys poisoned him.

I want security in
Mr. Westlin's office, right away.

Let me give you a piece
of advice, my friend.

If you're smart,

and you look smart, you do,

and you didn't kill Westlin,
then you'll level with me.

Otherwise, you'll be an
accomplice to murder.

How's that sound?

And you can call off your
security guards, my friend.

I, uh, I know my
way out of here.

What was that about?


Well, I have the answers
to how he was poisoned.

Somebody slipped some
quinidine into his multiple vitamins.

Well, that makes sense to me.

If the dosage of
digitalis was high enough

that certainly
could have done it.

And they had a big meeting at
Westlin's house very early this morning.

How'd you know that?

Well, let's just say I snuck a
peek at Westlin's appointment book.

Uh-huh. And what were you doing?

I was checking out
the rest of the building.

Guess what? No stiffs.

Listen, you two should not
take those kind of chances.

Come on, Mark, it
wasn't dangerous at all.

Besides, they're
all preparing for that

big dog and pony
show tonight, anyway.

Which they swear
he's going to appear at.

Look, I have some pictures
here of Westlin's office.

Let's see.

Wait a minute.

That must be it.


You know, I would certainly
like to go to that lecture tonight.

Well, it just so happens
today's your lucky day

because I have tickets.

She's good. She's good.

So you've finally decided
to become millionaires.

My name is Tim Rutland,
and I'm here to introduce to you

the man that you've been
waiting to meet and talk with.

The most dynamic
tycoon of the age,

the guru of finance,

the minister of megabucks,
and a hell of a nice guy,

Robin Westlin.

Robin is with us live

on an international hookup
with audiences in New York,

Chicago, Montreal,
London, Paris and Rome

to talk to you about his
brand new campaign:

"You don't have to be a
big shot to have big bucks."

We can't wait to
hear about it, Robin.

I don't blame you, Tim,

because this time I've
come up with a program

that not only lets you get
the big bucks we all want,

but lets you keep them
once you've got them.

I can't understand why
people buy this stuff. I know.

Before I go into details

I'd like to just ask a
few general questions

from some of our
friends in the audience.

Any topic, folks.

Mr. Westlin, what is
the key to success?

The key to success is
the pyramid of power.

And later this evening, I'm
going to show each of you

how to build your own pyramid.

"Friends in the
audience" is right.

Those are rehearsed
questions for pre-taped answers.

You know I saw them setting up
VCRs in the wings this afternoon.

Naturally. How else
would they do it?

Mr. Westlin, Mr. Westlin,
I have a question.

I have a simple
question for you.

Do you know there's enough
lime in the human body

to whitewash a chicken coop?

Yes. That's a very
valuable resource,

one that our investment
branch is looking into

on your behalf at
this very moment.

Looking into a chicken
coop. Do you hear that?

I have another one for you.

In your opinion, if Cortes
had lost some cattle

back there in 1502
instead of horses,

do you think that American
Indians would be riding cows?

I can give you a
definite yes on that one

and The Wall Street Journal
has verified it as a fact.

We're having some technical
difficulties, ladies and gentlemen,

with our international hookup.

Ladies and gentlemen, here
is your guru of megabucks.

A bunch of machinery
designed to fool you.

It's the wizard of Oz,
ladies and gentlemen.

Now what we want to
see is Robin Westlin,

alive and in person, as
promised. Where is he, Rutland?

Yeah, bring out
Westlin! Where is he?

Please, please. Folks, just
quiet down, and don't listen to him.

He is a psychiatric patient.

I personally assure you that
Robin Westlin is... is... is fine.

Hi, Steve. Here
we go again, Dad.

Don't make me
use the cuffs. I won't.

How's the jaw? Worse.

Come by the office,
we'll have look at it.

See, the mental patient
has been arrested

so let's all just calm down.

Now ladies and gentleman, because of
difficulties caused by this interruption,

we're going to have to
postpone this seminar

until further notice.

Uh, we... we
appreciate your patience.

I'm worried.

You've got to calm down.

going to be all right.

Now, I cut the television
feed as Sloan got started.

And all the boobs in the audience,
they all thought he was crazy.

But he knows the truth.

And nobody will believe him
because he's got no proof.

Now, all we got to
do is keep our heads.

Now, pull your car up around the
rear entrance in about 15 minutes.

Okay? Okay.

Ready, lover?


I've chartered a boat so we
can dump the body off Catalina.

We'll weigh him down
so he'll never surface.

I've prepared the press release:

"Westlin in seclusion
preparing final version

"of his guaranteed new
million-dollar method."

As long as we keep him alive,

the marks keep
sending in the checks.

They believed in him.

They really did and I will never
understand why he suddenly decided

to shut it all down and retire,

when there was
so much still there,

just waiting to be plucked.

The IRS hadn't even
begun to investigate him.

He hadn't even been
slapped with his first lawsuit

and he gave it all away. Why?

I don't get it.

He promoted greed, but inside...

He was a hypocrite.

Go figure.

I parked the car right outside.

Before we go any
further, precious,

just how did you kill Robin?

I told you, he
had a heart attack.

That's what you said
when you called from the car

and asked me to
meet you at Sloan's.

You said, he left home not
feeling well so you followed him.

Straight to Sloan's,
where he then died.

You believe me, don't you?

I did until Sloan made a
convincing case for murder.

Since we're all
accomplices after the fact,

I think it only fair that you
share with us how you did it.

All right. I just
upped the digitalis.

Add a little something
more, and bon voyage, Robin.

Of course, I didn't think he was
gonna get in his car and drive

after I poisoned him.

It was a very good
thing you were nearby.

I don't think I could have
moved this body by myself.

Uh, Mr. Westlin
traveling incognito, is he?

My husband's just
had a heart attack!

We tried to revive him,
but he's too far gone.

You called the
ambulance, didn't you?

I think it's a little late
for that, Mrs. Westlin.

Mrs. Westlin, I'm
placing you under arrest

for the murder of your husband.

Where is Robin?

He's in the morgue,
Mrs. Westlin.

Read her rights and book her.

Hands behind your back.

You arranged this, didn't you?

Let's just say that I helped.

You did the right
thing, Rutland.

Very nice seeing you again.

I was just getting
to like you. Pity.

That sure is something
to think about.

We pulled it off,
guys, huh? Hey!

You know, you never
did tell me how you knew

where they hid Westlin's body.

When I saw Amanda's
photo of the office

and all Westlin's fine wine
stacked against the wall,

I figured there had to be an
empty wine cooler somewhere.

Hardly conclusive.

Well, that's why I
didn't tell you till now.

You know, Jack talked
Rutland into cooperating.

Yeah, without Rutland, you never
would have solved this murder.

Which took a lot of guts. I
wouldn't want Mrs. Westlin

mad at me, would you?

You have a point there.

Resident on call to ER.
Resident on call to ER.


I feel great, Doc. Thanks.

Please. It's not every day
I get to be a medicine man.

Move 'em out.


What's the matter with
you? You look awful.

I don't know. My...

My nose is all stuffed,
my palate's itchy,

my... my... my head is aching

and aspirin doesn't
seem to work.

I didn't know you
had sinus trouble.

I don't. I mean, I didn't.

I mean, I couldn't.


what exactly was that
stuff you were burning?

Norman, we're not running
a carnival around here.