Devious Maids (2013–2016): Season 3, Episode 1 - Awakenings - full transcript
The season begins where the last one ended, with a shooting at Spence and Rosie's wedding. We learn that Rosie was hit and would be in a coma for a few months and Zoila's estranged husband is dead. When she wakes up she learns some disturbing things. Carmen's still seeing Sebastian who's married and placed her in house he told her he rented for her. But she learns that he wasn't exactly honest with her. Zoila who is pregnant wonders who is the father of the baby she's carrying, her late husband or her boyfriend, Javier and tries to find out who. Michael and Taylor Stapford return with the girl they adopted and they hire a maid named, Blanca who notices the girl behaving strangely. The Powells find themselves in a rut as far as their sex life is concerned and try to reignite it. And Marisole's book is published and it's a best seller. She starts hanging out with some socialites who are snobs.
---
Previously
on "devious maids"...
Did you know
I'm writing a book?
It's about what I went through
to get my son out of jail.
I had to work as a maid
for six months.
But you leave Friday?
When we get settled
in d.C.,
Michael says we can finally
start talking about adoption.
I'm sebastien.
So, obviously,
I want to see you again.
I think we can arrange that.
I really like you.
And I like you.
Morning.
Oh, crap.
Dad says you two are
getting back together.
Your father's confused.
So you'd rather be
with javier?
Man: I just thought
you might want to know.
You're pregnant.
Been 15 years since he died.
All these years I've blamed you
for barrett's death.
Can you ever forgive me?
I think it's time
we forgive each other.
All I see when I look at you
is a wonderful man.
I let you
get away from me once,
And I don't want that
to happen again.
We think you're protecting
that boy you've been dating.
[ voice breaking ]
he's part of that gang
That's been robbing houses
in beverly hills.
You can go to prison
for not telling!
I've decided to tell the police
about ethan.
We have to get rid of valentina.
I'll track her down eventually.
[ indistinct shouting ]
Somebody call
an ambulance!
Rosie!
Oh, please.
Please, rosie.
Rosie!
Zoila:
She looks like she's still out.
Carmen:
You think we should pinch her?
N-no...P-pinching.
[ laughter ]
Oh, my god. Honey!
You gave us quite a scare.
What's going on?
You're alive,
that's what!
Hallelujah!
Spence and miguel
are on their way.
How do you feel?
Weird.
I hope I can still go
on my honeymoon.
What?
It's on Saturday.
[ sighs ]
Rosie, when you got shot,
you fell,
And you hit your head
really hard.
Honey,
you've been in a coma.
A-a coma?
You've been out
for four months.
[ gasps ] excuse me.
Little girl!
Those are
my prize-winning roses.
[ gasps ]
Do you understand me?
Which one of the gardeners
is your father?
Taylor: Katy!
Oh!
Oh, thank god.
Katy! Oh, there you are!
Thank god!
Taylor.
Michael.
Hello, evelyn.
I see that you've met
our daughter.
All right,
here we go!
I just talked to spence.
He's parking the car.
Why are you looking at me
like that?
They just told me about pablo
getting killed in the shooting.
You must be so sad.
It was hard.
I mean,
we ended it so badly,
And...Then he was gone.
Now I understand
why you got a little...
What?
Fat.
You got a little fat.
Which is really rude of you
to say, rosie.
I am not fat.
It's...This shirt.
You've been grieving.
It's okay to eat your feelings.
Ya. Basta. Can we talk
about something else, please?
Yeah.
Um, well, my book came out.
And it's on the new york times
best seller list.
Rosie:
That's wonderful!
We barely see her anymore.
Yeah, well,
it's been kind of hectic
With my appearances
and book signings.
Well, you make time
for evelyn powell.
What?
This one is best friends
with evelyn powell now.
Here we go.
She's not my best friend.
She happened to have liked
my book.
All they do is eat fancy lunches
and shop at richie-rich stores.
Carmen's dating
a married man.
Que qué?
Got her holed up in a big house
that he rented for her.
He's a real-estate agent.
He can afford
to treat me well, okay?
He is keeping you for sex.
It's completely demeaning.
Chachas, rosie didn't wake up
for this.
This is a happy day,
remember?
Mama! Mama!
Ay, miguel!
Oh.
You're so big.
Oh, my god.
Rosie.
I love you so much.
Come on, guys.
[ chuckles ]
I had no idea
you'd moved back to town.
We've been here
for a while.
We would've
called sooner,
But we've been a bit busy
with our little angel.
Yes. Little katy.
Wherever did you find her?
Argentina.
Michael
had business there,
And we went and visited
one of the local orphanages.
I don't mean
to sound rude,
But don't we have perfectly good
orphans here in the states?
Yes, but we took
one look at katy,
And we just knew
that she was our daughter.
Right, sweetheart?
Are they all mute?
That is such a wonderful quality
in a child.
Katy has
emotional problems.
Oh, dear.
She had a bit of
a tough start in life,
But she'll adjust.
Of course she will.
Katy, I keep a stash
of belgian chocolates
In my pantry.
Would you like some?
I think that's a yes.
I will be right back.
Honestly, michael --
emotional problems?
Argentina?
Well, we can't tell people
the truth, can we?
[ door opens ]
Remi.
What are you doing here?
Where were you?
I called you a bunch of times.
I had my phone off.
I was visiting my dad
at the cemetery.
Oh. Well, I would have
gone with you.
I wanted to be alone.
What's up?
Uh...
I bought you something.
Aww. That's nice.
What is it?
Pepper spray.
So you'll be able to protect
yourself.
That's why I have you.
No, I'm serious, val.
What if I'm not around?
Remi, they caught ty.
He's in jail.
No one's trying to kill me
anymore.
You never know who's lurking
around the corner, all right?
Please, just take it.
Fine, but the next time
you want to buy me a gift,
Try flowers.
[ indistinct conversations ]
Hi! Hi!
So sorry I'm late.
I was visiting my friend rosie
at the hospital.
We were just talking about
your interview on npr!
Terry gross
raved about your book.
I know.
It's so flattering.
Of course
her favorite character
Was the ice-cold, ball-busting,
rich-bitch employer,
Mrs. P.
Yes, evelyn is famous
at the club now.
Did she really say all those
horrible things you wrote?
Every word.
I'm positively terrible.
Who's coming with me to
the barney's sale after lunch?
Well, you don't need to twist
my arm.
Marisol?
I don't know.
Do you ever feel like
we should be filling our days
With something more meaningful
than shopping?
Where's all this
coming from?
My friend carmen
says I'm becoming frivolous.
I'm sorry.
Carmen your maid friend?
Yeah.
[ sighs ]
What?
Well...
[ sighs ]
You've had success,
and she's still a maid.
It's -- it's jealousy,
plain and simple.
Maybe.
Ooh, and that reminds me.
I need a final head count
for the book signing.
Shall I invite
the maid friends or no?
I don't know
if they'd feel comfortable.
Can I get back to you?
Fine. Just be sure to give me
some advance notice.
I need to know whether
to lock up the valuables.
What?
That is classic mrs. P.
You're awful.
It takes one to know one.
I'm doing
some of my best work here,
And you're very quiet.
I'm sorry.
I'm just thinking
about my friend marisol.
Interesting.
Is she hot?
Stop!
She said some things today
that really bothered me.
Like what?
Well...
She doesn't think I should
let you rent me this house.
[ chuckles ] why not?
Because she thinks you're only
keeping me here for sex.
Sebastien!
What?
You know I cannot
spend the night.
And you have that audition
in the morning.
Right.
So shouldn't we
move things along?
Keep talking.
We can do both.
How about tonight
we just talk,
Like people who care
about each other.
You think I don't care
about you?
I've been trying to help
your career.
If you'd only meet
with my wife --
I can't.
I'm screwing her husband.
That's low, even for me.
Okay, then,
what about this house?
What about it?
You think I go around
renting houses
For people
I don't care about?
It's a symbol
of my commitment to you.
It is?
Carmen, my life was nothing
before I met you.
Well, when you put it
that way.
Okay.
Is there anything else
you want to talk about?
I think we're done talking.
[ sighs ]
Margaritas?
You hate margaritas.
I did,
but it's the strangest thing.
Ever since I got pablo's kidney,
I've been craving them.
Join me?
I'm trying
to stay healthy.
Oh.
Because you've gotten fat.
You've...Noticed that, too?
Oh, come on.
Everyone's talking about it.
Who's everyone?
Well, mostly just me.
But people always nod
when I bring it up.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Oh, honey,
don't be so sensitive.
You'll lose the weight.
No, I won't.
Here.
Alcohol makes
everything better.
Not this.
[ chuckling ] why not?
Because I'm pregnant.
Sorry,
it's just so shocking.
Aren't you a little old
to be pregnant?
Not helping!
And don't you dare tell
anyone else.
No one knows.
Not even javier?
He's the father.
Well...
Wait.
You mean,
when you and pablo...?
It's possible.
Zoila.
I know!
I should've done
a paternity test by now.
But javi's been away in vegas
opening the new restaurant,
And pablo's...
Gone.
But javi gets back
this week.
I just have to find a way
to test him
Before I start to show.
Are you sure
you don't want this drink?
Hi! Sorry!
My publisher took me
to spago.
The lobster salad
was amazing.
I brought you
some leftovers.
Leftover fish
for leftover friends. Pass.
Ooh.
Are these pot stickers?
Hey, you're marisol, right?
Yeah.
I'm blanca.
Nice to meet you.
I've heard so much
about you.
Oh. Nothing bad,
I hope.
No. All good here.
So, how do you guys
know each other?
Mm. We met
a couple of months ago.
She works down the street
from genevieve.
These are so good.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
So you're a maid, also?
Actually, I just got fired.
What happened?
I just asked to change my hours
to go to college part time.
The next thing I know,
I don't have a job.
Can you believe that?
They fired her because
she wants to go to college.
Yeah. And now I can't afford
classes because I'm super broke.
I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
Well, I know that the stappords
just moved back into town.
I bet you they're looking
for someone.
Tell them about blanca!
She's the best!
She even cleans
under the toilet seat.
I mean, who does that?
Everyone but you.
Blanca:
Do you really think
They'd be okay with me
going to school part time?
Definitely.
They're great.
I'll call taylor tomorrow.
So cheer up.
Have a pot sticker.
Oh, those were
for everybody?
Thank you for squeezing us in
today, doctor.
It's been some time.
How is your marriage?
Good. Very good.
Well, mostly.
It's just...
In the bedroom,
uh, lately...
Things have been
a little --
Limp.
I see.
In the penis area.
I think he got it
the first time.
You know, there are
a number of medications.
We've tried them.
Nothing seems to do the trick.
I-I can't help but feel like
Adrian just isn't attracted
to me anymore.
How long
has this been going on?
The last month or so.
It's strange
because our marriage
Is better than ever,
really.
We recently got some
much-needed closure
On -- on the death
of our son.
Ah.
So no more
of the constant fighting.
How does that make you feel,
adrian?
Well, nobody enjoys
fighting all the time.
Some people do.
They thrive on conflict.
It excites them.
You're saying being happy
is making me unhappy?
I'm not saying anything.
I'm posing a question.
I'd like to pose a question --
when are we having sex again?
Well, rome wasn't built
in a day.
You two are gonna have to work
on this together.
And it's going to be
very, very hard.
Can I get that in writing?
You need 10 of javi's hairs
to do the dna test.
And I have to pull them
from the root. I know.
Sweetheart,
just how do you plan
To yank out his hair
without him noticing?
Easy.
I'm gonna distract him
with my sex appeal.
[ laughs ]
Oh, wait,
you're serious.
[ doorbell rings ]
[ door closes ]
I mean it.
You look amazing.
I do?
[ both chuckle ]
Don't get me wrong,
I've always thought
you were beautiful,
But today
you're glowing.
That's because I'm happy
to see you.
Oh, I've missed this.
Oh, me too.
I've missed this face,
these ears, this hair.
[ chuckles ]
Ow. Ow.
Ow!
I'm sorry.
I'm just excited
to see you.
Javier!
What a delight.
I had no idea
you were back in town.
Hello, genevieve.
Come here
and give me a hug!
Oh, we've missed you
so much.
Just wasn't the same
without you.
Oh. That's so nice.
[ chuckles ]
Anyway, I'll just get
out of your hairs now.
Hair.
Ta-ta.
Where were we?
I believe
we were doing this.
Zoila, I need you!
Hold that thought.
We need more hair.
Are you kidding me?
You need 10.
You only got 8.
I can't keep pulling
the hair out of his head!
He's gonna notice!
Then you'll
just have to get creative.
Now go.
[ sighs ]
Hey, there, mister.
Do you know what else
I've missed?
This chest!
Javier: Ow! Ow! Ow!
And how is tucker?
Good.
I think.
Actually, uh, peri
doesn't let me see him much.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
That's terrible.
So it's just been
me and miguel.
I had to give up
the house.
We moved into an apartment.
It's not so big, but --
That's okay.
Wherever you are,
that's my home.
I feel the same way.
But what about the money?
Hospitals are so expensive,
and you lost your job.
Well, I got another one.
I did a movie.
That's exciting!
It was for cable,
so no big deal.
Sorry.
Visiting hours are over.
We'll talk about it later.
I want to hear more
about the movie.
You heard the man.
Besides,
I got to pick up miguel.
I'm so proud of you.
Did you hear that?
My husband is a movie star.
[ chuckles ]
I know.
You've seen his movie?
Yes, I have.
And you are one lucky girl.
What do you mean?
I mean, the guy's
like, what, 50?
And he's naked
in every scene.
Naked?
Yeah. And from the looks
of that thing,
I don't blame you
for taking a four-month nap.
Woman: [ moaning ]
spence: Oh, god! Oh!
Oh!
Oh, god!
Oh...God!
[ cellphone rings ]
Hi, carmen.
Hey.
Listen, we're taking dinner
To rosie
in the hospital tonight.
What do you want to bring?
Tonight? Oh.
I've got this party.
For my book.
Well, thanks
for the invitation.
Well, I wasn't sure
that you'd want to go.
It's at evelyn powell's.
Of course it is.
You know, I am tired
of your hostility, carmen.
Is it really so bad
that I've made new friends?
Yes!
Because you care more
About those fancy people
than you care about us.
That is completely unfair!
Ay, marisol, it's fine.
No me importa.
Go to your party.
It's where you belong.
What is that
supposed to mean?
It means you were never
really a maid.
You were never
really one of us.
Do you honestly feel
that way?
Yes.
¿qué demonios es esto?
Carmen!
I got to go.
[ gasps ]
Who the hell are you?
Herb anderson?
What are you doing in my house,
herb anderson?
And if you like
top-of-the-line,
Wait till you see
this kitchen.
Carmen?
I-I just found her here.
I swear.
I thought you had
an audition.
They moved it.
You two,
go check out the yard.
It's great
for entertaining.
This is one
of your listings?
I'm living
in someone else's house?
Yes, but it's
a really nice house.
You said this house
was proof of how much you care.
I wanted to do something
for you,
But I could not
afford it.
What do you mean?
You're rich.
Actually, my wife is rich.
I haven't sold a house all year.
I'm sort of broke.
Oh, my god!
I'm mooching off a mooch!
[ sighs ]
I am so glad
that marisol recommended you.
You have no idea
how grateful I am
To have some help
around here.
Oh, no. No, please.
You've been so cool
about my schedule.
I'm the grateful one.
Aww.
Damn it, taylor!
For god's sakes!
Look what katy's
done now!
Michael!
Blanca's here.
She's our new maid.
Hi, mr. Stappord.
Hi.
I needed these papers
for my deposition in boston.
Katy's a child.
I'm sure it wasn't intentional.
That's easy
for you to say.
She doesn't keep
ruining your things.
Why is she dressed
like that?
She's coming to marisol's
book party with us.
Have blanca watch her.
Yeah. I don't mind.
Really.
We can't leave katy
with someone new.
You know that.
Hey, katy?
Hey, sweetie, how about
I make us a little snack?
Yeah, do that.
All right.
Aah!
Aah! Val, it's me!
It's me!
Remi?
Oh, my god!
You pepper-sprayed me!
I thought you were
gonna attack me.
Why were you following me?
You were jogging alone.
I wanted to make sure
you were safe!
By scaring the crap out of me?
Hey, I am your boyfriend,
all right?
It is my job
to protect you.
Well, if you keep "protecting"
me like that,
You're not gonna be my boyfriend
for much longer.
Come on.
You know, katy,
sometimes parents fight,
But it doesn't mean
anything.
See, the important thing
is that they love each other,
And they love you.
Like you love them.
Right?
I don't love daddy.
And neither does mommy.
[ cellphone rings ]
It's dr. Stevens.
Hello?
Does he have
the results?
Is javier the father?
I see.
Thank you, doctor.
Well?
It's pablo's baby.
What am I gonna do?
Good morning,
beautiful.
How was your night?
I saw your movie.
Woman: [ moaning ]
Oh, god! Oh! God!
Oh!
I can explain.
What's to explain?
Your wife is in a coma,
and you were making pornos?
Soft-core!
Soft-core!
I wasn't actually
having sex.
Is that supposed to make me
feel better?
You think I wanted to make
that movie?
It's the only job
I could find!
You call that a job?
Ernesto was a policeman.
That was a job
I could be proud of.
Rosie.
But this --
This is humiliating.
Rosie, you don't understand.
Miguel had no one.
He needed me
to put food on the table.
I'm sorry I didn't
make you proud like ernesto.
But I did the best that I could
for miguel.
He's my son now, too.
I'm sorry.
You were just trying
to be a good father.
Yeah.
So, you understand?
I do.
But if you make a sequel,
I'll put you in a coma.
Oh, zoila.
I hate to see you cry.
I just keep wondering
How I'm gonna tell javi
about this.
[ sighs ]
Well, maybe you don't.
[ sniffles ] huh?
Your baby
still needs a father.
Why can't it be javier?
Genevieve.
You'll break his heart
if you tell him the truth.
I know.
He could leave you.
I know!
But I'm not gonna lie
to him.
That's very brave of you.
But if I were pregnant
and alone,
I'd be scared to death.
How do I look?
Better.
[ scoffs ]
Again, I am so sorry.
Mm. Don't be.
I wanted you
to use the pepper spray.
You wanted me
to blind you?
Not me, but a bad guy.
Remi, ever since the shooting,
you've been hovering over me.
Texting me, calling me.
You have to stop.
I can't.
Why not?
I ducked.
What?
At the church,
When the shooting started,
I didn't protect you.
I...
[ scoffs ]
I ducked.
There was gunfire.
Everyone ducked.
But if you had been hit --
I wasn't.
[ sighs ]
Valentina, you're my whole life,
my future.
I don't want to live in a world
without you.
I feel the same.
Even though
I was such a coward?
[ sighs ]
That day was the worst day
of my life.
I lost my dad.
I couldn't imagine
losing you, too.
I'm glad you ducked.
[ chuckles ]
Your eyes look...
Terrible.
[ laughs ]
Oops.
Adrian:
Oh, I'm sorry, valentina.
Let me just grab
my glasses.
Valentina is of today,
mr. Powell.
I'm your new maid.
Colette.
Have you been drinking?
[ gasps ]
of course not.
I'm just new to this job,
and, well, I hope my boss
Isn't the type
to take advantage of me.
I've never been
more confused.
Adrian, dr. Haskell
suggested role play
To spice up our sex life,
And you've always had a thing
for maids,
So I thought
you'd enjoy it.
All right, I'm in.
Let's try this.
I couldn't help but overhear
the other maids
Whispering
about your large reputation.
Is that
valentina's uniform?
Is that a problem?
It's just...I've come to think
of valentina like a daughter.
Well, perhaps you should take
the uniform off of colette.
Hate to be a stickler --
does it have to be colette?
What's wrong with colette?
My father's second wife
was colette -- ghastly woman.
How about...
Gretchen?
And try it
with a german accent.
[ german accent ]
if that is what you want,
Then I will do my best.
Oh, that's good.
Keep talking.
Very well, herr powell.
What do you want me to say?
Yes. More german.
Something's happening.
Uh, my name is gretchen.
Guten morgen.
Yes, yes.
Ich bin eine berliner.
Edelweiss.
Yeah.
Ah! Ah!
Gesundheit.
Ohh.
Sorry, it, um...
It was indigestion.
[ normal voice ]
oh, for god's sake.
Are you leaving?
Yes! Adrian!
This is hopeless.
Auf wiedersehen.
Carmen, I'm sorry.
Give those to your wife.
She paid for them anyway.
Okay, I get it.
You're mad at me.
I'm not mad at you.
I'm mad at me.
I knew better.
You know, I broke
all my rules for you.
You have rules?
Don't sleep with a married man.
Don't depend on a man.
Don't date a man with an accent
sexier than yours.
That's really a rule?
Well, it is now.
And, lastly,
Don't fall in love with a man
when there's no future.
You...Love me?
It doesn't matter.
It's over.
You know I would be with you,
but there's a prenup.
If I leave my wife,
I get nothing.
And what about me?
Am I nothing?
You're everything, okay?
I'm in love with you, too.
I wish I could believe that.
Please don't go.
I have to, sebastien.
[ suitcase zips ]
I'm better than this.
Excuse me.
[ gasps ]
oh, my god, you came!
Oh! Michael, I thought
you were going out of town.
Oh, I'm leaving tonight,
but I couldn't miss your party.
Oh. [ chuckles ]
You look amazing!
Thank you.
Success agrees with you!
Evelyn: Taylor,
Michael,
nice to see you...
And your tiny child
at my otherwise grown-up party.
I hope it's not
an inconvenience.
Not at all!
Marisol, your fans
are calling for you. Come.
Pardon me.
[ chuckles ]
[ indistinct conversations ]
Oh! Pardon me.
I'm adrian powell.
Alexandra.
Do you know marisol?
No, a friend brought me.
I'm just in town
for a couple days.
What do you do for a living,
adrian?
I'm independently wealthy.
It takes up a lot of my time,
but I find it fulfilling.
And you?
I shouldn't talk about my work
in polite company.
Oh.
So now
you have to tell me.
I'm a professional
dominatrix.
I did not see that coming.
You don't look like
a dominatrix.
How should I look?
Fishnet stockings,
leather corset,
Whips and chains?
[ stammers ]
I suppose so. Yeah.
Pick that up.
All right, alexandra.
Mistress alexandra.
On your knees.
Ow!
Evelyn: Should be translated
into spanish, at the very least.
[ chuckles ]
I need you.
Adrian, you're being rude.
What could possibly be
so urgent?
[ gasps ]
You'll have to excuse us.
Something
seems to have popped up.
[ breathing heavily ]
I'm so happy
for the two of you.
[ laughs ]
And how clever you were
to adopt an older child.
Clever?
You don't have to worry
about getting your figure back.
And you get to miss
All the difficult parts
of child rearing.
I can assure you,
we're not missing
All the difficult parts.
No one ever said that being
a parent was easy, michael.
Excuse me.
[ chuckles ]
I know
it's none of my business,
But it's natural
for a new child
To bring some tension
to a marriage.
You're right.
It's none of your business.
Good, you're here.
I think
tonight's the night.
[ cellphone chimes ]
Sorry, gail.
Should I personalize it?
Oh, yes.
To my maid elida.
Oh, that's nice.
I want her to read
about the woman
Who cleaned the foyer
with a toothbrush,
'cause I'm hoping
she's gonna take the hint.
[ laughter ]
Yours can read english?
I'll give you $5,000 for her
sight unseen.
[ laughs ]
That's kind of offensive.
Oh, come on.
You know how hard it is
to find good help.
That's what your whole book
is about.
That's not
what it's about.
Woman: I'd give anything
For a maid that didn't steal
from me.
Hell, I'd settle for one
that just isn't stupid.
Well, if they weren't stupid,
they wouldn't be maids.
Okay, that's it.
These women that you take
such pleasure in deriding,
They work their asses off.
They literally get on
their hands and knees for you.
And you think that makes you
better than them?
Well, it doesn't.
These women may not have money,
but they do have class,
Which is more than I can say
for you people.
Marisol!
Where are you going?
This has all been lovely,
evelyn,
But I think
I'm at the wrong party.
[ indistinct conversations ]
Carmen.
Am I too late?
I'd love to see rosie.
What about your big party
and all your fancy people?
They're not my people.
You are.
You mean that?
Carmen, I am so, so sorry.
I did not mean to ignore you.
I guess I just --
I got caught up in all of this.
It's okay.
I guess I did, too.
Oh?
I broke up
with sebastien.
You were right, marisol.
I became someone
I didn't respect.
I'm so sorry.
The only bad part is now
I don't have a place to live.
Well, I have
an empty guest room.
No, no.
I-I couldn't impose.
Oh, hell.
I'm desperate.
I'm imposing!
Good!
Come over tonight.
In fact, I have an idea
that I'd love to run by you.
Idea for what?
The next chapter of my life.
[ laughs ]
Okay...
Hi, guys!
Hey!
[ indistinct conversations ]
Cheers, my love.
To a fabulous party.
And a happy ending
for us both.
[ chuckles ]
So, tell me.
What got into you this evening?
I trust
you're not complaining.
Oh, on the contrary.
I'm hoping
for a repeat performance.
You think
it was the music?
Perhaps a certain food
you were eating?
Actually, I met the most
fascinating woman.
Oh, my god.
I had sex
with another woman's erection?
But the orgasm was all yours.
You were thinking about
this other woman the whole time?
Not the woman, the pain.
What?
She's a dominatrix.
She stepped on my hand.
It was a revelation.
I think I've heard enough.
But I discovered the solution
to our problem.
You just have to be
cruel to me.
It shouldn't be that hard.
You're practically
a dominatrix already.
You disgust me, adrian!
Yes, like that!
I am going to bed now,
And you can sleep
on the couch tonight.
We have nine
other bedrooms.
Couch!
[ sighs ]
[ siren wailing in distance ]
[ doorbell buzzes ]
Hi. I'm looking
for the velvet whip.
Am I in the right place?
Shut up, worm.
I'll take that as a yes.
Mi amor.
What did you
want to talk to me about?
Why don't you sit?
[ chuckles ]
You're making me
a little nervous.
That makes two of us.
I'm pregnant.
Wait, what?
I know it's crazy.
Oh, my god.
You're pregnant?
Ah!
Whoa! Whoa, wait!
[ laughs ]
Javi --
You're pregnant!
My -- my heart is bursting
out of my chest!
So, you're happy
about this, but --
I'm thrilled!
This is all I ever wanted,
To have a child
with the woman I love.
Oh, my god.
Am I really going to be a dad?
Yes.
Yes, you are.
[ door opens ]
Hi.
Oh, g-god! Blanca.
You said I could move my things
in here tonight.
Right. I did.
What's wrong?
Uh, there's a mess
in the living room.
I was just going
to clean it up.
Oh, well, that's okay.
I've got it.
No, I can't let you do that.
No, it's fine.
Trust me.
Whatever it is,
I'm sure I've seen worse.
I can do it.
No. Oh, blanca, wait.
What the hell happened
in here?
Oh, for heaven's sake.
Get out of my roses!
Ugh. Mangy mutt.
[ clapping ] go on!
Go on!
Go on, get!
Go on! Get! Get!
[ dog barks ]
[ sighs ]