Devious Maids (2013–2016): Season 2, Episode 5 - The Bad Seed - full transcript

Previously on
"Devious Maids"...

Get down on the ground!

Oh, my God.
You shot him!

It was an accident.
I didn't see him!

Can I help you?

I... heard about...
Mr. Rubio being killed.

I'm so sorry.

In a sad twist,
one young fan attempted suicide

outside
Rubio's Beverly Hills home.

I was thinking you might benefit
from a trip to sage creek.

Sage creek?
That's a looney bin.



Goodbye, my darling.

How soon until we go in
and take off our clothes?

We should wait until his car
leaves the driveway.

I know Dahlia killed herself.
Why didn't you tell me?

I never told you 'cause I
was worried I'd scare you off.

No more secrets.

So, your husband doesn't talk?

I'm his daughter.

Oh.

No, I'm at a job interview,
to be a maid.

Your resume's very impressive.

Thank you.

Why didn't you tell your mother
you were home?

Didn't you know she convinced Remi
to go to the Congo without me?



You should be in school,
making something of your life.

You're trying to control me.

Now, please, go back to your
life and let me have mine.

What about your, uh,
your friend from the Congo?

He's in the Congo.

- How's he doing?
- Not well.

And I'm starting
to get worried.

Is everything okay?

We're sending Remi
home on the next plane.

Oh, my God.

Look, I'm supposed to
be cleaning.

Then start with me.
I'm very dirty.

I'd suggest a cold shower.

Only if you take one with me.

Okay. I'll stop.

You know, you can't blame a guy

for wanting to make out
with his girlfriend.

Uh-oh.

Did I use the "g" word
too soon?

No. It's nice.

Most guys want
to keep it casual forever.

Oh, no.

I'm way past casual.
I'm... you know...

Feeling stuff.

So am I.

Which is why I want you
to take a cold shower.

I'm serious.
I'm crazy about you.

Well, good.

That's what I expect
from my boyfriend.

Just so you know,

you have made me the happiest
pool boy in the world.

Mrs. Delatour?

I need you to come with me now.

What's wrong?

- Remi's back.
- From Africa?

He's very sick.

They brought him home
in an ambulance.

- He's not in a hospital?
- No.

I want the best for Remi,
so I've hired top doctors

and private nurses
to look after him.

You know, his first words were,
"where's Valentina?

I need her."

He said that?

Oh, don't be sad, darling.
He's getting better.

And the best part of all...

We have our Remi back.

Now, come on.

Rosie!

What's wrong, miss Lucinda?

I am trying to work here,
but I can't concentrate

because that boy of yours
is trying to run me down!

I'm sorry.

Miguel is just excited
to have a new toy.

Well, I don't know why
you gave him one so expensive.

He's just gonna end up
breaking the damn thing.

I didn't buy it for Miguel.
Your father did.

You gave her little boy
a present?

Your father loves children.

Well, that's a candy-coated lie
if I ever heard one.

I'm sorry Miguel bothered you.

It's okay, Rosie.

Just tell him not to
race the car in the house.

And you...

Stop being so nice
to people you're not related to.

You're staring at me.

I can't help it.

You make me happy.

- I want to buy you something.
- Oh, you don't have to do that.

I know, but I want to celebrate
our relationship.

It's such a surprise for me

to be with someone
so virile and masculine.

You are a real man,
Tony Bishara.

Let me buy you
something pretty.

I don't want anything.

What an adorable fib.

Everybody wants something.

Well...

There is one thing I want,

and it wouldn't
cost you a cent.

Oh.

Let me move into
the main house.

Excuse me?

Well, you have
all those lovely rooms.

And I don't have
much space in here.

It is a bit cozy, yes,
but it is also very private.

How about the third floor?
No one will ever find us there.

Valentina might
start to suspect.

I'll be discreet.

Come on.

No. No!

We're not changing
the living arrangements.

Evelyn, I'm not some dog
you can keep in a cage.

Please.
I respect you completely.

I'm going to the house
to get us some champagne.

Stay.

I really appreciate it.
It means a lot to me.

Absolutely.
I'll make sure he has fun.

You have a safe trip.

- Who was that?
- That's my sister.

Oh, the one
who lives in Bel Air?

Yeah, she's going away on
a business trip for a few weeks,

and she needs me
to take care of her son.

We're gonna have
a kid staying here?

Yeah. Why?

It's just,
I-I hate kids.

- How can you hate kids?
- They spill stuff.

That's no reason to hate them.

Well, it is if you're a maid.

My nephew is not a child.
He's 17.

Much better.
Teenagers are never messy.

Well, I don't have a choice.

He's been having
some emotional problems,

and my sister
can't leave him alone.

Emotional problems?
What does that mean?

A couple of weeks ago,
he tried to commit suicide.

- What?
- Uncle Spence?

Uh...

Where should I put my bags?

Hi.

Remi?

Look who I've got.

Hey.

Hey.

Don't just stand there.
Go hug him.

Mom?

Oh. Sorry.

It's just like a movie.

"Remi and Valentina...
Together again"!

Ignore her.

So...
How are you feeling?

Better...
Now that I'm seeing you.

I want to apologize
for what happened in Africa.

You don't have to do that.

No, I do.

I was selfish and insensitive.

But now that I'm back...

I really want us to get
back together, you know?

- Start all over.
- Start over?

If you'll have me.

We don't need
to talk about this now.

You should get your rest.

She's right, Remi.

You know what the doctors said.

All right.

Val?

I love you.

Okay.

"Okay"?

When Remi says he loves you,

you say, "I love you, too,"
not "okay."

I don't know if I can say that.

Is it the beard?

Because I agree...
It's terrible.

When the doctor sedates him,
we'll shave it off.

It's not the beard.

What, then?

I'm seeing someone.

Who?

- Ethan, your pool boy.
- You're dating my pool boy?

I still adore Remi.
I-I do.

But Ethan
really understands me.

Then I want you to stay away.

- Mrs. Delatour.
- Remi is sick.

And hearing you've abandoned him
won't help him get better.

I haven't abandoned him.

Well, you can't have them both.

What's going on?

Nothing.

Valentina was just leaving.

Okay, savor, savor.
There's not a lot of them.

All right.
You're a taskmaster!

Hi.

Nick?!

What are you doing home?

I forgot some papers.

- Who's this?
- Kim Rampton.

My book editor.

I told you
we were working today.

I thought Kim was a girl.

Oh! Please don't make me
relive every day of high school.

- Hi. Nice to finally meet you.
- Likewise.

Well, we're just working
on polishing up my manuscript.

Mm-hmm. I'm having more
fun than you can imagine.

Oh, I don't know.
I can imagine quite a lot.

We still have
a lot of work to do, so...

Say no more.

All right.

Okay.

Now, I wanted to talk to you
about the last chapter.

I know...
It's a little overwritten.

Oh, it's just a bit,
Miss Tolstoy.

Um...

Nick, aren't you going back
to the office?

There's no need.
I can read these right here.

T-that won't bother you,
will it?

Uh... I guess not.

So, how deeply should I cut?

Well, if you lose
the first paragraph... right?

And then pick it back up
on this page here...

Right? See that?
And then you could...

Hey, Kim, why don't you
pull that chair over here?

Tired of me
hovering over you, huh?

No, no.

I just think
this would be more comfortable.

For everybody.

Okay...

I am telling you, your editor
wants to have sex with you.

You are now
officially laughable.

I can see it in his eyes,
the way he touches you.

Oh! Kim touches me
like a friend.

Yeah, who's looking
for a benefit.

First of all, Kim is
the consummate professional,

and secondly,
I'm not even his type.

He's married to a blue-eyed
blonde from Minnesota.

Well, lots of men
love chocolate ice cream,

but every now and then,
they crave vanilla.

If you're going to
reduce me to a flavor,

can you pick something
more interesting than vanilla?

Trust me. Kim wants more from
you than scintillating prose.

Kim's agenda is meaningless
unless I'm interested.

Are you suggesting
that's possible?

And be careful how you answer.

He makes me uncomfortable.
That should matter to you.

Okay.

Tell you what... I will invite
Kim for dinner tomorrow night.

You will get to know him,
see that he's harmless.

You might even become friends.

Opal's off tomorrow night.

Then I'll cook.

I don't know
what I'll be serving,

but you'll be eating crow.

Carmen is a fantastic cook.

While you're here, she'll
make you anything you want.

That'd be great.

Thank you very much.

Oh. I got to take this.
I'll be right back.

So...

I guess my uncle told you
about my suicide attempt.

Why would you say that?

We're having steak, and you
brought me a plastic knife.

I just don't like doing dishes.

It's okay.

I don't mind that he told you.

Then... can I ask you
a question?

Sure.

Why would you try to...

- You know?
- I was just...

Feeling bad...
About my life.

Are you feeling better now?

Relax.
I'm not gonna kill myself.

Oh, good.
The job is hard enough.

I don't need to be opening doors
and finding bodies.

I love that you made a joke!

Most people just tiptoe around
me 'cause they're so worried.

Well, I'm not worried.
Not anymore.

Does that mean
I can have a real knife?

No.

I'm running to the store.
I'll be back in 20 minutes.

Okay.

And just so you know, Miguel is
taking a nap in his room.

Lord.

You are not asking me
to babysit, are you?

Well, since he's asleep,
I didn't think you'd...

I'll be back in 10 minutes.

Now, what did I say about playing
in the house, little boy?

You don't remember?

Well.

I'm going to see to it
that you do.

- Remi's asleep.
- I'm not here to see him.

I need some advice.

But I can't talk to the person
I usually go to because...

I'm supposed to be mad at her.

Does that mean
you've forgiven me?

I'm so sorry
for being such a brat.

When I heard about you and papi,
I should have called.

It's okay. You're here now,
and that is all I care about.

Now, tell me, how can I help?

Well...

I've been seeing Ethan
for the last month.

That's what I heard.

- And it's been great.
- But Remi's back.

And saying all the things

I wanted him to say
six months ago.

Oh, mami, I love Remi.

- But he broke my heart.
- Yes, he did.

And Ethan is exciting,
and he makes me laugh,

but how well
do I really know him?

- He could hurt me, too.
- Well, he sure could.

You totally have my permission
to tell me what to do.

Honey, this is one decision
I can't make for you.

Come on.
You live to give me advice.

All right. Here goes.

Eat something.
You're too thin.

You're really not gonna
tell me what to do?

Nope.

Your statue's almost finished.

Yeah. It might end up being
the best thing I've ever done.

By the way...

Miguel got up from his nap
five minutes after you left.

I hope he wasn't any trouble.

Well, he was
playing with that car again...

Came out of nowhere,
knocked me over.

So I spanked him.

You did what?

It was just
a little swat on his bottom.

I put the fear of Lucinda
into him...

Been a perfect angel
ever since.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

You do not hit my son.

He was zooming that car
through the house,

bent on destruction.

- What was I supposed to do?
- Talk to him.

Tell him if he's good,
you'll give him a cookie.

I do not negotiate
with terrorists.

Miguel is my son,
and I don't believe in violence.

You act like I was beating
on the boy. It was nothing.

Here... let me
show you what I did.

Don't touch me!

Why are you getting so upset?

It was just a little
old-fashioned discipline.

If you want to spank children,
get some of your own!

Fine. I will
never touch Miguel again.

But just so you know,

that was
a very cruel thing to say.

She spanked Miguel?

Can you believe it?

- I am shocked.
- I know.

So, what did he do?

Your "perfect child"
must have done something wrong.

- What was it?
- What does it matter?

Miss Lucinda
did violence on him.

She spanked him.

That's not even close
to violence.

And stop eating my fries.

That felt close to violence.

The point is,
society has changed.

Nobody really spanks anymore.

- I let a guy spank me once.
- We're not talking about sex.

Why not?
It would be more fun.

The problem with spanking

is that it can
very easily turn into abuse.

Whoa!

I spanked Valentina
when she was little.

- Do you feel I'm abusive?
- You are to me.

I don't mean to criticize
your parenting skills.

It's just that
when my son would misbehave,

I would talk to him.

Didn't he end up in jail?

He was framed!

I also dated this guy who liked
me to twist his nipples.

Okay, either
follow the conversation

or sit over there.

So, what do I do
about miss Lucinda?

You made your feelings known.
I think it's over.

Until the next time
Miguel is naughty.

You think
she'd spank him again?

No.
She'll just fire you.

It's her house.

She doesn't have to put up
with kids who misbehave.

I just wish I knew
what was up with her.

Miss Lucinda
is angry about something,

and it's not my son.

This other guy made me
wear heels and walk on his back.

What are you doing in here?

I'm moving in.

- Didn't we discuss this?
- We did.

You told me
to stay in the pool house.

And yet, here you are,

putting your boxer shorts
in my chiffonier.

I think, in the long term,
you'll prefer this arrangement.

Since when do you decide
what I'd prefer?

You're an employee.

An employee
who gives you orgasms.

I'm not saying
you don't go the extra mile,

but it doesn't entitle you
to be disrespectful.

You were right when you said
I was a real man.

And like all real men,
I have needs.

If I waited for someone
to hand them to me, well...

You wouldn't find me
so sexy and irresistible.

I think you're overestimating
the power of your abs.

This is what strength
looks like, Evelyn.

You'll come to appreciate it
in time.

So this is the price I pay
for passion?

It is.

But I'm worth it.

Hey!

Hey.

When does my uncle get home?

Oh, not till late.
He's shooting a commercial.

What are you doing tonight?

Are you kidding?
It's Friday night.

I've got crazy plans.

Gonna drink tea and write
in my therapy journal.

Why don't you call some friends
and have them come over?

My uncle wouldn't like that.

No! He wants you
to have a good time.

We both do.

In that case,
I'll see who's around.

Great.

I'll go to the store and go
get you some chips and dip.

Can I just say,

you're... super-cool and fun
and really nice.

Nothing about my looks?

Okay.

I'm so glad we did this.

I knew
you two would hit it off.

Are you kidding me?
I love this guy.

He keeps
re-filling my glass.

I like my guests
to feel relaxed.

So, Marisol, we should start
talking about the book tour.

Already?

It's never too early
to start planning.

Well, now, what exactly
is a book tour?

Marisol and I would go
on the road for a few weeks,

do some book signings,
interviews...

You know, that sort of stuff.

Yeah, just the two of you...
Out on the road.

Hey, I haven't seen your wife
in months. How's Ingrid?

Not exactly sure.

We only speak through
attorneys these days.

Attorneys?

Yeah,
I didn't want to mention it,

but I'm getting divorced.

Oh. So you're
about to be single.

Isn't there a chance
you two could work it out?

You seem so devoted
to each other.

Yeah,
I got caught red-handed.

There was this gorgeous writer.
We were in Chicago together.

On a book tour?
Good guess.

And one thing
led to another and...

You know how it goes.

I do.

I really do.

Kim, don't you think
you've had enough?

No, I can still feel my liver.

So, hey,
now that you're single,

you'll probably want
to start dating, huh?

Yeah, yeah.
If you know anyone...

Oh! There's a woman
at my gym...

Very sweet, blond.

Yeah, I'm sick
of sweet blondes.

I want a brunette, you know?

Someone spicy and ethnic,
like you.

Nick, you don't know
how lucky you are

to have swept this one up.

And you don't know how lucky
you are to still have that hand.

No, no, no, no, no!

Excuse me!
Where's Ty?

Who?

Ty?

Hey.

Did you get the chips?

What is going on?

I said you could have
a few friends over!

I only texted four people.

There's more
than four people here!

Well, word got out,
and at first, I was angry,

but...

Now I just feel popular.

Oh.
I'm glad you had fun.

Because this party's over!

Carmen...

Please don't make me
send people home.

- I'll be humiliated.
- Oh, you'll get over it.

Maybe.

Unless I get depressed again.

And then...
Who knows what I'll do.

You did not just threaten that.

Look, I'm having fun.

That's what you and uncle Spence
wanted, right?

Hey, there.

There's a party
going on next door,

and it's so very loud.

Do you have any policemen
close by?

Hi.

What are you doing here?

You haven't returned my calls.

I've had a lot on my mind.

Look, I-I get it.

You and Remi
were really serious,

and you've only known me
for a few weeks.

So if...

If you want me
to back off, I will.

Wow.

Don't get me wrong.
I'm... I'm crazy-jealous.

I mean, I want...
I want to kill the guy.

I care about you, and...
I want you to be happy.

That's very... noble.

I may not be rich,

and I haven't
saved any lives... lately...

But I do have my moments.

And this is one of them.

Well, tonight was lovely.
But weren't you worried

that one of your friends
might see us together?

That's the advantage of having
an affair in Burbank...

You never run into
anyone who matters.

Whoa.

Something wrong?

I've never seen
a $900 dinner bill before.

Oh, they always get you
on the wine.

And this was
a 40-year-old Bordeaux, so...

Well, you're very generous.

Oh, no.

I wouldn't dream
of emasculating you in that way.

Huh?

You're a real man.

And it's my understanding

they always insist
on paying the check.

That's very clever, Evelyn.

But I don't have
that kind of cash,

and my credit card's
at its limit.

How unfortunate for you.

This is my old friend Angelo.

He has been the maitre' here
for years.

Before that, he had some sort
of career in New Jersey.

What was it
you were involved in?

- I can't talk about it.
- Fair enough.

Anyway,
this is my friend, Tony,

and if he doesn't pay the bill,
call the police...

Or whatever it is you do
in these situations.

- Just tell me what you want.
- I want you to behave.

- Fine.
- Thank you.

We may be having an affair,
but don't think for two seconds

it gives you
some kind of power over me.

So let me be clear...

You can screw me,

but you can't screw with me.

I'll move my things back to
the pool house in the morning.

As if there was ever any doubt.

Excuse me, ma'am.

One of your neighbors called
to complain about loud music.

40 minutes ago.

Thanks for rushing over.

Okay, listen up, people.
The police are here.

And before you mouth off,
remember...

They've got batons, and they're
not afraid to use them!

That's not cool, ma'am.

Hey.
Is there a problem?

Yes. They want all your friends
out of the house now!

But it's
not even 10:00 yet.

Where you going?
Guys, wait!

Oops.

Son, what's in that cup?

Um... milk?

What are you, 16?

Oh, I'm so flattered.
Actually, I'm 39.

The missus
will back me up on that.

He's 17. Why?

Son, I'm gonna need you
to blow into this.

No!
Nobody's blowing nothing.

Ma'am, you need to step back.

This is a violation of my civil rights.
I'm not doing that.

Then you're gonna
have to come with us.

Hey, you'll get me in trouble.
Put those away.

Please turn around.

Are you deaf?
I said stop!

You couldn't just pretend
to be my wife?

Uncle Spence is
gonna be so mad.

You've got to talk to him.

Y-you got to tell him
this wasn't my fault.

You think
I'm gonna protect you?

I could lose my job over this.

And stop pacing!
You're making me nervous.

You should be nice to me.

This is a traumatic experience,

and you know
how badly I handle stress.

Oh, you're not getting
any more sympathy from me,

you manipulative twerp!

Okay, maybe I was milking it,

but you don't know
some of the horrible stuff

that's happened to me.

You want to compete
in the misery Olympics?

'Cause I can take you on
any day of the week!

I'm sure it's rough going
through life as a hot chick.

Have you heard of
Alejandro Rubio?

Sure.

Did you hear
how he was murdered?

Men broke into his home
and shot him

while we were having a party.

You were there?

He died in my arms.

Oh, my God.

So you can't talk to me
about pain

until you've seen
the light go out

in the eyes
of someone you love.

Carmen, I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

Your uncle just paid your bail.
Yours, too.

Time to go.

Look, I'm gonna tell
uncle Spence

you had nothing
to do with the party.

I appreciate that.

And again, Carmen,
from the bottom of my heart,

I am so sorry for everything
that you've gone through.

It's okay, honey.

It wasn't your fault.

You're angry with me.

- Yep.
- Why?

Because I was right
about your friend?

You can't judge him by tonight.
He was drunk.

In vino veritas.

There were no secrets revealed,

other than a middle-aged man
has a work crush.

I tell you
one thing we learned...

You're not going
on that book tour.

That decision is not up to you.

Do you want
to be alone with him?

Do you want to be alone
with him?! Is that it?!

Why aren't we laughing
right now?

Kim was so ridiculous tonight!

I c... I cannot
go through this again.

Okay? The uncertainty,
the paranoia, the...

What do you mean "again"?

Dahlia had an affair.

- Oh, Nick.
- I should have told you.

I just...

I don't like
discussing my failures.

Listen to me.

I am not Dahlia.

I will never be unfaithful
to you.

That's good.

'Cause when I become jealous,
I'm not myself.

Is it serious?

I think so.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't want to tell you
while you're sick, but...

No, I'm glad you did.
I'd rather know the truth.

Does he treat you well?

Ethan is great.

Good.
You deserve the best.

Well...

I should go
before your mother finds me.

If she gives you any trouble,
just send her my way.

Just so you know...

I still love you.

Honestly, Val...

That kind of makes it worse.

No, pepito!

No corres en la casa!

Si, mami.

Good boy.

Ohh!

Oh, no.

Oh, my God!

Miss Lucinda!
I'm so sorry!

Oh! It's ruined!

No, maybe... we could
glue it back together.

How did this happen?!

Well,
I-I was sweeping,

and Miguel was running
through the house and...

Of course... Miguel!

Wait! I didn't mean...

You are so lucky
that this was your son,

'cause if you had
broken my sculpture,

I would have fired your ass.

Miguel!

Que?

Come here, little boy.

No, he's my son.
I will punish him.

I know you will.
And you will do it now.

Que?

You are living in my house.

I need to know that you take
your role as a parent seriously.

Now discipline
the hell out of him.

_

_

_

_

_

_

Orale!

_

_

_

_

You were really tough on him.

How else will he learn?

Miss Lucinda?
Are you okay?

I've seen better days.

What's wrong?

Did Miguel do something
to upset you again?

I was 6 the last
time daddy spanked me.

He told me if I was good,
there'd be no need to punish me.

So I began doing all my chores,
stopped sassing back.

I was the perfect daughter.

- Until I turned 15.
- What happened then?

I fell in love with a boy.

Got pregnant.
Daddy was so angry.

He wouldn't let me
keep the baby.

No.

Oh, yes.

He made me give up
my little girl for adoption.

And all these years,
I told myself

maybe he didn't have room
in his heart for another child.

But now I see him
with your son,

and I know it's not true.

I am so sorry.

I spend my days molding clay,

trying to create
something beautiful.

But what I would have given

for a chance
to mold a little life.

Anyway...

To answer your question,

your son is not the one
I have a problem with.

Hey.

- Remi!
- You're out of bed.

It's okay.
I'm feeling better.

And looking better, too.

I don't know if I told you,
but I hated the beard.

You told me.

Well, it's good to see you
looking like your old self.

- Anything I can get you?
- How about Valentina?

What?

She told me about Ethan.

I specifically told her...

Mom, relax.
I had to find out sometime.

I'm so sorry.

I know how upset
you must be.

I just know that I-if
she'd give me another chance,

I can make her happy.

If you would
just maybe talk to her...

You can talk to Valentina
all you want,

but I no longer stick my nose
where it doesn't belong.

Zoila, when I was
lying in that tent in Africa,

thinking I was gonna die,
she is what kept me going.

I'm so sorry.
There's nothing I can do.

You still love Valentina,

even though she's taken up
with someone else?

She's my life, mom.

I know
we're meant to be together.

Then I will get her back
for you.

That is a promise.

Patio's done.

Well, we still got
a ways to go in here.

Be right back.
I'm gonna take this out.

- I got it.
- Thanks.

Look, I know I got mad at you
about the party,

but I'm thrilled
you're getting back to normal.

Yeah. I'm in a better place,
thanks to you.

And Carmen.

Hey.

Your uncle's got
a real nice house.

What are you doing here?

Came to check on you.

Heard you had some...
Some trouble with the cops?

Relax. I didn't...
I didn't tell them anything.

How are you feeling?

I don't know.
I still have nightmares.

Well, it was an accident.

Carter killed Alejandro.

That might not be
how the rest of us remember it.

What's that
supposed to mean?

It'll always be
our word against yours.

You son of a bitch.
You'd throw me under the bus?

Just keep your mouth shut,
and we won't have to.