Desperate Romantics (2009–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Episode #1.3 - full transcript

Congratulations, John. You've changed everything.

You've enhanced your reputation
and that of the brotherhood.

We are sweethearts, are we not?

I thought it was because you
were in love with her...Fred!

Of course I'm in love with her.

So you are secretly engaged?

So secretly engaged that only one
of you knows that you are engaged.

You don't understand their world, Charlotte.

I want to buy you manners. Why would you
do that? So that we might step out together.

Am I a patron? If you wish
it. Of course I wish it.

John, do you think my wife
would make a good model?



Sir, it isn't a job for a
respectable woman. No, you're right.

It isn't. I do hope you can grow as
fond of Johnny Millais as I have done.

Why do you say such things?

If you could kindly imagine that
you are a loyal Highland wife,

who has secured the release
of her Jacobite husband.

And how has she secured that release?

This loyal Highland wife?

Well, I imagine by...
persuasion of some sort or other.

Perhaps she has traded her
virtue for her husband's release.

Perhaps she has, that, that
would certainly be possible.

Does that make her a good woman or a bad woman in your
eyes? Well, she has sacrificed her virtue for love.

In my eyes, that is the noblest
sacrifice any woman can make.

Do you think her husband knows, or has guessed?

I hadn't really thought about that.



Perhaps he doesn't care. I
can't imagine such a thing.

Perhaps he is too full of his own
suffering to have time to think of hers.

That does happen, doesn't
it, between man and wife?

Mrs Ruskin...

You seem both unhappy and agitated.

Do I really? Please.

I think you should sit down and rest a while.

Shall we call for a pot of camomile tea?

I find it settles my nerves when
I get all fluttery and bird-like.

HE GRUNTS

I'm finding it hard to draw
under such damned pressure.

It's every drawback, every false beginning,

reminds me how far behind I have fallen.

Surely it's not a competition? Is it not?

Millais has got Ruskin.

Hunt has sold his painting.

Copied from my idea. But
surely there are other ideas.

Agh!

I
- I was thinking,

perhaps of Dante and
Beatrice, but what's the point?

I have no money for paint.
Or canvas, or, or...food.

If you allow me to model for
just one painting for Hunt again,

I could pay for all that. I will
not have you posing for others.

And I will come to you each evening

and you can begin your preliminary
sketches. No, I will not have it.

I cannot stand it. So your petty jealousy

is of greater weight than your desire
to paint a masterpiece! My masterpiece?

Well, that does have a
certain ring to it, I suppose.

As Rossetti struggles with his
muse I struggle to keep at bay

the poisonous image of Lizzie lying in his arms.

Hunt, our...King of Pain, finds himself trapped
between the demands of Annie and the demands of God.

Millais, however, remains blissfully
unaware of mental and emotional struggle.

I thought it most unusual when Mr
Ruskin suggested you modelled for me.

If I had thought for one moment you were in any
way unhappy with the arrangement...The arrangement?

It's not for everyone, standing there
dressed as a peasant woman, completely still

while some dunderhead stares
and paints and stares and paints.

You really don't know why you're here, do you?

I'm here to paint you.

Am I not?

When Hunt arrives let me do the talking.

He can afford whatever we
ask, he sold his painting.

Miss Siddal, Mr Rossetti.

How's the work progressing?

Still painting juvenile
daubs of no artistic merit?

Are you still hanging them? Miss Siddal, when
will you be sitting for John Millais again?

She won't. Miss Siddal will be
modelling for my masterpiece.

Oh, well.

At least you have millinery to fall back on.

Not here! Not here!

It's a Landseer, not a crate
of monkeys! More's the pity.

Gabriel.

Lizzie?

Hello.

I am looking for Christ's hair.

Lizzie is reluctant tomodel for a
painting that just features her hair.

A shilling an hour, shall we say? Two shillings
and six pence at the very least. I am Ophelia.

I can walk into any studio and
demand double that! Two shillings.

With a guarantee of at least one week's work.

I thought the rules of the Brotherhood
demanded that we shared what was ours.

Hmm, that was before I realised
how little I'd have to share.

Still...

I'm sure you'll find Christ's hair in
the Holy Land. Don't forget to write.

Very well! Two and six it is.

Thank you.

Miss Miller.

Hunt.

What's this about the
bleeding Holy Land, then, eh?

Annie!

Listen!

Sometimes things happen to a
man which convince him that God

is telling him to do penance.

Now it's my intention to follow
up on The Awakening Conscience,

exploring more overtly the religious themes.

There's no shortage of religious
themes right here in this room!

I need to travel to the Holy Land to
do this. For how long? Six months or so.

Six months! You engender in me a
constant state of sexual arousal.

Don't try and sweet talk your way
out of it. I am going to paint.

It is my intention to tether a goat

in the Desert and to paint it as
a symbol of Christ's sacrifice.

A goat!

You are leaving me for a goat!

What's wrong with an English goat?! It's
not the goat. It's the light, it's the...

it's the thought of Christ's presence!

I see. You do?

Oh.

Annie! No...

You don't mean that. I wish I did.

You chose a goat over me.

Fine! Go to the Holy Land!

But don't you ever think
you'll taste my fruits again!

GROANS AND GASPS

So. How are things proceeding, Johnny?

She has a difficult head.

Indeed she does, Johnny, in every sense.

But not without its rewards.

This is to tide you over

until I am in a position to... sell your painting.

I don't know what to say.

I just hope that the three of us,

you, myself and Mrs Ruskin

will be very happy together.

Indeed, sir, so do I. So take it.

As a sign of my affection and my gratitude

and...and indeed, Effie's future gratitude.

Her future gratitude?

Her future gratitude.

Oh, and by the way, I'm planning to
nominate you as an Associate of the Academy.

An Associate of the Academy?!

An Associate?!

Her future gratitude?!

But I can't help thinking that I am expected to do
something other than painting to repay Ruskin's loyalty.

How long before you're a full member?

I don't know. And Effie Ruskin said you
didn't know why you were there? I didn't.

Well, I did. But I don't now.

Will somebody please tell me
what is happening in my life?

Effie Ruskin gives off the
air of a dissatisfied woman.

But John Ruskin gives off the air of a man who is
interested in mounting paintings and little else.

You are young, Johnny, good-looking,

talented and in his debt.

What?

You don't think that John Ruskin
is inviting you to seduce his wife?

This is one of Rossetti's practical
jokes, isn't it, Maniac? Isn't it?

Lust has finally taken agrip of Gabriel's
mind so he canthink of nothing else.

Two gins, please.

Dear Fred,

how long before we can be friends again?

How long does a broken heart take to mend?

I know you were sweet on Lizzie.

Yet you chose to pursue her. It was almost as
if my declaring my love for her spurred you on.

And so it did. You admit it, then?

I pursued Lizzie in order
to protect you. Protect me?

Lizzie is the kind of person that
would destroy a less experienced man.

She has an intensity that would burn you up.

Burn?

She seems such a gentle soul.

You will learn, as you grow wise
in the ways of women, dear Fred,

that it is the gentle souls
who will lure you to your ruin.

Oh, well,

perhaps I will take that drink after all.

Hey, that's the spirit!

Cheers.

Mr Dickens. I hear great things are going
on behind Mr Ruskin's door, Mr Millais. What?

I can't think what you mean.

Another masterpiece, I hear.

Well, one can only hope.

Are you quite all right, Mr Millais?
You seem rather agitated. The other day,

you said I had no idea why I was here.

Perhaps you would care to
explain what you meant by that.

When I was living in Venice with John,

I was left to myself,

day after day.

With John's encouragement I attended
balls and parties and dances,

always alone.

But surely that would have brought you admirers.

Only two or three. No, four.

Four?!

Did Mr Ruskin not object?
I am not so sure Mr Ruskin

did not put them in my path.

I am equally certain that
cannot possibly be the case.

Look at you and I.

Left alone.

A married woman and a single man.

Together, every day for weeks to come.
Why do you think he has allowed that?

So that I can better get on
with painting your portrait?

Of course. Of course. I'm, I'm sure you are right.

Erm, if I may.

Always best to protect your reputation
by pretending that which is, is not.

I simply do not believe

that a man of Mr Ruskin's towering character
would ever contemplate what you are suggesting.

What if I were to tell youthat
Mr Ruskin is a giant as an author,

but a poor, weak creature in everything else.

I...I don't know what has got into you, Effie.

But you have rendered me into a terrible fug
that can only be resolved if I leave immediately!

I can't stay and hear you
attack Mr Ruskin in this way.

He is my friend and my patron, and he is
your husband! How can you say such things?!

Please do not think badly of
me! I think perhaps you are ill.

Let us call for Camomile
tea. Perhaps a cold compress!

I am not ill! I am afraid you are in the
grip of some terrible destructive hysteria.

I am not sick! Unless
virginity is a kind of sickness.

You must desist, Effie. You are
babbling like something from Revelations!

I am a virgin, John!

I have been married for five years and
our marriage has not been consummated!

Now, perhaps you could explain that to me with
reference to Mr Ruskin's towering character?

Is this another one for the
walls of the Academy, Maniac?

If they'll take it.

I doubt I will ever paint anything
staid enough for the Academy walls.

I'll leave that for the likes of you. If you
think the Academy's so stiff, then why do you sulk

when Hunty and Johnny Boy get
their paintings on the walls?

Since Adam and Eve, every man
has wanted what he can't have.

I can vouch for that.

I'd have starved without it.

Well, perhaps,

you could model for me while Hunt is in the Holy
Land. I'm not going to the Holy Land any more.

Oh? You had second thoughts, did you? Yes.

Lots of them.

Oh, I see. Huh.

Lizzie!

I'm modelling to pay for your paint, but you would
rather while away the hours flirting with Miss Miller.

Come, come. I was merely making conversation.
Have you even as much as picked up a pencil yet?

The process is very intense.

Becauseeach time I sit down to draw,

I realise that, like Beatrice, you are my destiny.

We have met before.

We are

Dante and Beatrice.

I don't want pretty words.

I want evidence of your work. You
can have both. Yu have made progress?

This is what I'm trying to tell you.

The preliminary sketches are
of such startling intensity,

that I have to take rests at regular intervals.

It is not laziness,

but industry that has given me this,

this languid air.

Good.

I shall look forward to seeing evidence
of your industry when I next call.

Good.

Good.

I might be ready to go back to them now, actually,

as it so happens.

Ladies,

Maniac.

I was never told the duties of
married persons to each other

and I knew little or nothing about the
relations in the closest union on Earth.

John eventually avowed no
intention of making me his wife.

He alleged various reasons.

A hatred to children,

religious motives,

a desire to preserve my beauty...

and finally in this last year,

he told me that he'd imagined that women
were quite different to what he saw.

He was disgusted by my
person on that first evening.

But I find that inconceivable.

I shall take that as a compliment.

I have no experience in these matters,
but...I can imagine desiring you all the time,

if your marital status didn't
forbid me from holding such thoughts.

Could you?

I could.

I tell you this -

if I wasn't British, I might just try
and take advantage of your predicament.

Might you?

If I was a certain kind of man...I just might.

A virgin?! Since when?

Since before the marriage. It's
not possible. I don't believe it.

Well, it might be possible if there's some
kind of malfunction. Of what? I don't know.

Ruskin does spend a lot of time writing books,
doesn't he? Not with his prick, he doesn't.

Are you sure she hasn't made this up?

I've decided the best course of action is to tell
Mr Ruskin that I can no longer receive his patronage.

Quite right, Johnny. No, no, no, no, no.

It's the only moral course left open to me. Don't
start muddying the picture with morality, Johnny Boy,

it's complicated enough as it is. What
I would give to be Ruskin's favourite!

Probably a few more inches than
Johnny can conjure in his present mood.

You seemed determined to make light of my terrible
predicament. You have a rich and influential patron

and he has a beautiful young wife
who he has permitted you to launch

as and when you please.

And without any recriminations.

What is the predicament? It
would leave me exposed to scandal!

My mother would die!

Only if Fred here starts writing
about it in the Illustrated London.

You don't have any choice, Johnny,
but to frolic Ruskin's wife.

If you don't do it for yourself then you must do
it for the Brotherhood. I am afraid Gabriel's right.

If you irritate Ruskin now, then our
careers will sink along with yours.

There are other patrons. Yes. Thank you, Fred.

But there's only one John Ruskin.

Can I have the same again, please?

Gabriel.

Perhaps you could advise me on
the correct way to ask a husband

if he is offering his wife
in exchange for patronage

or if I have got the wrong end of the stick.
Johnny, Ruskin doesn't want you to acknowledge it.

He wants you to proceed on
the basis of an understanding.

If you are beasting another man's wife, it is
the height of bad manners to point it out to him.

Thank goodness I have you.

I find the modern world a most
random and confusing place.

I am glad to be of help.

If there is any way I can repay you for your
counsel, do not hesitate... Well, there is one thing.

I was just wondering if you have
any old sketches, I may borrow.

Of...of young lovers or, anything romantic.

Just in the way of research, you understand.

Yes, of course, of course.

And you believed him? Of course I believed him.

I pressed him for the truth and he told me. The
prettier a man's speech, the less trustworthy he is.

I gave myself to him and he didn't
go running off as you predicted.

He didn't go running to the jewellers,
either. Any man can buy a ring.

Only Gabriel would paint a picture
of us as Dante and Beatrice.

Will it be a masterpiece?

Do the sketches fill you with confidence?

You have seen them, haven't you? Of course I have.

Good morning, Johnny. Sir, would you
care to see the preliminary drawings?

No time today, I am going to be late for my train.

Your train? Are you and Mrs
Ruskin going away somewhere?

Just me. To Scotland.

I have need of the wildness,
so lacking here in Mayfair.

You are leaving Mrs Ruskin alone?

Well, she won't be alone, Johnny,
will she? She'll have you! Alone?

Oh, and I was at the Academy
last night. With my support,

they intend to make you an
Associate before the year is out!

And what if I was to lose your support? Well, that's
not going to happen, Johnny? We both know that.

Look after Effie for me!

I hear that congratulations are the
order of the day. For what, exactly?

For becoming an Associate of
the Royal Academy. Yes, yes.

Mr Ruskin is a good fellow.

Indeed.

But, not of our kind, his soul...

always among the clouds and out
of reach of ordinary mortals.

That is an accurate way of describing him.

So perhaps that accounts for
his somewhat strange behaviour.

In leaving us alone together or...

in not expressing his love
for me with physical intimacy?

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry! No, not at all.

Your words are entirely
appropriate to our circumstances.

It is I who can't seem to
contain the two realities.

I find myself in a complete
apoplexy of indecision!

I have shamed myself and I've
shamed you. I shall go now.

Johnny. I haven't a clue
what you are talking about.

Isn't it obvious? I love you!

And I will do everything you can desire of me.

Would you, in that case,
mind very much kissing me?

I cannot. I'm sorry! I cannot!

It is true.

It is something in me that
prevents men from growing intimate.

No!

My hesitation is entirely due to my misgivings
about your marital state! Effie, you must believe me.

I would kiss your very slippers!

Mr Millais.

Effie.

I thought I would call by to
see what progress you are making.

Oh, well, I think you can
see from these sketches that

we are capturing something of
the agony of a woman, who has had

to commit a sacrifice in order
to secure her husband's freedom!

I have no doubts about your superior
abilities as an artist, Mr Millais.

I have written you a few appropriate words you
might like to utter to create the right mood.

Thank you, Fred. Considerate
as ever. Oh, you'd erm,

you'd better take this

by way of thanks, for these...

Just rinse it out afterwards.

And...before,

come to think of it.

Do you love Effie? I think she is the

sweetest creature that ever lived.

You are a good man, Johnny.

God has led you to this. Oh, don't bring
God into it, he's nervous enough as it is!

You are sure you actually want
to do this, aren't you, Johnny?

Do you think she will be
able to detect my virginity?

Well, her own virginity might
allow you to get away with it.

As long as you act with both
tenderness and authority.

Just make sure she stays awake. Ignore
Gabriel, he lacks your sensitivity.

Oh, and you'd be an expert on
the first time, would you, Fred?

When next we meet,

I shall be a changed man.

Perhaps one of us should
go and rock the bed for him.

Effie.

I am a man and you are a woman.

That much is apparent even to me.

No. No.

God, my fingers are all of a tremble. Can I help?

No!

No.

I have found over the years of

plentiful womanising

that it...it is better if
the man undresses himself.

Oh. Thereby saving the woman the shock of...

freeing the member rampant.

Of course. That is most
considerate of you, Johnny.

It is so reassuring to me that you seem

so well acquainted with lovemaking.

Not just the destination
itself, but also the journey.

A traveller is only as stimulated
as the landscape is beautiful.

Out of interest...Yes.

Which side does Mr Ruskin normally occupy?

The one you are on. Do you mind
if I...No, no, of course not.

So where's Johnny? He's otherwise engaged.

By now...

yes, he, he should be visiting
a new and interesting landscape.

He's covering his first mare.

For goodness sake, Gabriel, Annie
is being trained up to be a lady.

Oh, really? And how's that progressing?

So he's got a sweetheart, has he?

Better than that. He's been invited
by Ruskin to deflower his wife.

They've been married for years, haven't they? I
don't think there'll be much deflowering going on.

You would think so, but it transpires
that Effie Ruskin is still a virgin.

Are you sure? Mm-hm.

Johnny is easily confused.

Surely he's made some mistake.
No. It's true, my love.

Even Ruskin's mother has given
her encouragement and blessing.

Well, that settles it, then.
He is being taken for a fool.

It's a role he was born to play.

You do see he is being tricked, don't you?

I don't think you are quite as insightful as you
think, my love. Can you please listen to Annie.

She knows sexual intrigue like no-one else.
And I say that withthe greatest respect.

People don't ask you to screw
their wives for no reason.

If Ruskin and Ruskin's mother

are encouraging Johnny to
commit adultery with Effie,

then it is so he can be named
on the divorce certificate.

It's nonsense,

isn't it?

Isn't it?

How do you normally begin, Johnny?

I, I normally like to begin

with a moment of quiet contemplation.

Then...when you feel the moment,

let your desire run its course.

Ow! Don't, don't, don't
move! Well, I'm not moving.

But...Just don't...

Quick, we'll be too late!
It's Millais' first time.

He'll be so nervous he'll need a
splint to get his fellow to attention!

Impotence is our only hope! Fred, write that down,
make it our motto! The light's still on. Quick!

Johnny! He left the candles burning.
I would never have thought that of him.

Johnny! Johnny it's a trap...

Johnny...Johnny it's a trap!

It sounds like your friends. No, no, no. They're,
they're probably just trying to encourage me.

You'll both be ruined!

Well, that would explain the bolts.

What?

Oh, surely no man of such sensitivity
would hatch such a heinous plan.

The Ruskins have usedtheir influences
against me for all my years of marriage.

You mean, he wanted me to be in his wife's society

in order to preserve his good
name by blackening Effie's?

If he divorced me for adultery, I would be ruined.

Well... He has outflanked me on
this occasion, that is for sure.

As surprising as it is that John
Ruskin has beaten you intellectually,

we have to know if you've entered Effie's grotto.

Gabriel! Show some delicacy.
That was me showing delicacy.

Mr Rossetti, I assure you my honour remains intact.
There was an unfortunate incident with some beads.

If Mr Ruskin is such a
plotting and scheming fellow,

then such a quiet scoundrel
ought to be ducked in a mill pond.

I don't know for certain what he intended. Well,
at the very least, his conduct is incomprehensible.

Effie.

There is only one thing for it.

I must never see you again.

Although there is the matter
of the painting to be completed.

And what with materials and so on, I
would be out of pocket were I to leave now.

Keats and Wordsworth themselves would be pushed

to word a more romantic
sentence than that. Thank you.

So I stopped a man from making love to a woman

and he actually thanked me for it.

I think Gladstone himself should shake my hand!

Indeed. Although, my guess is that he
probably wouldn't have got to the starting line

before his horsedied, so to speak.

It places Effie in a most precarious position.

Though less precarious than the one Millais had
in mind. Can you not see how serious this is?

If Effie and Millais had succumbed,
Millais would not have faced ruin.

Effie would have been branded an adulteress. Of
course I see. Why did you think we stopped them?

Because your friend Millais would have faced the
inconvenience of being named in a divorce case.

Well, he may well have lost his patron,
whichever path he chooses. Oh, the poor boy(!)

Never mind that Effie would have been condemned
to a choice between destitution and prostitution!

I know it's serious. I am most
sensitive to a woman's plight.

Yet you fail to reflect how
vulnerable my own position is.

It is entirely different. Why?!

I'm a model, after all!

And a mistress, and unless we
marry, I will face a dilemma

every bit as serious as Effie's.

We will marry. When?

When I am in a financial position to do so.

What am I to make of your promises when
you have already proved yourself a liar?

You promised to teach me to draw, after all.

I will start today.

You promised me sketches of Dante and Beatrice.

Which you have already.

Do you really not think I
would recognize Millais' work?

Is that a reflection of the
regard in which you hold me?

Too lazy to do the work

and then so contemptuous that you
think I would be fooled in this way?

I'm sorry.

I was desperate to give the
impression ofhard work and application.

I was desperate to show
you how much I had changed!

Yet, in doing so, you show me
you have not changed at all!

So...

I finish the painting? Mm, finish the painting
but do not pursue your affair with Effie.

That way he cannot accuse you and her of
adultery and he can continue to be your patron!

There is a problem.

I am in love with Effie and she with me.

We want to run away together.
That is lunacy. No. No. No.

It might just be a solution!

Effie should act first and sue Ruskin for an
annulment on the grounds of non-consummation,

before he starts divorce proceedings against her.

That way, your name won't get mentioned. What?

That's brilliant. But if she is to sue

for non-consummation, then there'll
have to be a virginity test, first.

I'm not sure I want to go
through that. For her, Johnny.

All you have to do is make sure you don't
mount her by accident before the annulment.

There will still be a scandal,
will there not? Yes. But if our good

friend Fred here leaks the story
to Effie's advantage, then...

it'll be Ruskin's scandal, not yours.

And the whole of London will
be talking about his limp dick.

Are you happy to do that, Fred?
Fred is like a true Brother to us.

We can count on Fred, can't we?

Of course. There we go.

Then this calls for strong
hearts and strong drink.

Fred! Do the honours, a bit of a
tin shortage this end of the table!

Is there any problem you can't manage, Gabriel?

Oh, she's a fiery red-head
with a kiss like a suction pump.

Goes by the name of Lizzie.

It's funny.

Now that I know I'm not allowed to be intimate,

I want it more than I did before.

Welcome to manhood. You need to remember
your love for her, Johnny, at all times.

Well, that's usually enough
to put any man off sex.

Just remember to not wear out your painting hand.

You need to keep working as normal.
Ruskin needs to suspect nothing.

Hey, Fred!

Fred!

You must be thrilled!

It's on the front page! I know!

You've relegated the Crimean War to page five!

"Mrs Effie Ruskin is seeking an annulment
of her marriage based on non-consummation."

It mentions my name! I understood
it wasn't going to mention my name!

It mentions all our names!

"Mrs Ruskin has recently been modelling for John
Millais, a member of the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood

"who have a philosophy which entails

"capturing the extraordinary
beauty in the everyday.

"They number amongst their
members William Holman Hunt,

"painter of The Awakening Conscience,

"and are led by the enigmatic
revolutionary Dante Gabriel Rossetti."

Could be worse, I suppose.

"Enigmatic revolutionary"! But the detail.

Ruskin will be able to track it back to me. He
will never speak to me again. And who can blame him?

I did this for you!

Fred, firstly, it's the first time you have
made the front page of the Illustrated London,

so you shouldbe celebrating.

Secondly, it nails Ruskin but
manages to keep us in the public eye

without showing us in a bad light at all, really!

KNOCK AT DOOR

Come in.

I will send my account book on to you.

It contains a full statement
of this year's accounts

and an explanation of the
moneys received and spent by me.

You don't need to give me accounts. I feel I do.

It helps to establish the nullity of our marriage.
Is that what you consider it to be? A nullity?

It was clear the day we marriedyou
never wished to make meyour wife.

That is not true. I was worried about your health.

Oh, yes,

your touching accusations of insanity!

Did you never stop and think of
the agony that I might be enduring!

For the first five years of our
marriage I thought of little else!

I'm done with ranting and

tearing out my hair.

The worst of it for me is long past.

In which case,

there can be no impediment to
you agreeing to an annulment

without me having to undergo the degrading
and humiliating physical examination

toestablish my virginity.

Paulizza and Brown and Forster from Venice

and now from London, dear Johnny Millais.

Need I say more?

They were friendships, only.

And then only because, your personal cruelty and

daily heaping of insult upon insult
drove me to seek those friendships.

At least the whole world
knows that well enough now!

Yes! The whole world knows! And for
the present must have its full swing!

That is all you have to say on the
subject of our pretend marriage?

Be assured, I shall neither be subdued

nor materially changed by this matter.

I don't believe you are as cold as this.

Please do not make me go
through with the virginity test.

You know the truth.

I know the truth.

If you have any feelings for me then let us just

quietly seek an annulment.

My good name is already the
subject of ridicule, Effie.

I have no reason to seek a quiet annulment.

And as for your happiness, you will never be happy

and that fault is in you, not me.

Goodbye, John.

FOOTSTEPS

I cannot believe that anyone, however twisted,
would want to write such a thing about you, John.

If I can do anything to track down the
beast who betrayed you in this way...!

It's good of you to come and
see me in person, Gabriel.

I want everyone toknow I consider
you the injured party in all this.

And if standing by you brings disgrace
to my name, then so be it, sir.

I cannot leave the house, of course.

Everywhere I go there are pointing
fingers and wagging tongues. John...

tomorrow it will all be forgotten.

And your reputation as a critic will
be unharmed. It's good of you to say so.

And so and so and so.

I have my work, you see, always my work.

And even though it's mostunpleasant to have
one's name dragged through the gutters like this,

it's poor Johnny Millais
I'm actually concerned about.

Why on Earth would you worry about Johnny Boy?

He suffers from extreme melancholia, does he not?

I'm not certain he's intelligent enough for
it to be melancholia. It's more of a sulk.

HE OPENS A DRAWERS

I fear he is being ensnared in her web.

I can do nothing for him,

he has no sympathy with me or my ways.

Family do not suffice him,

he's always miserable about something or other

and it cannot help that he's
having this affair with Effie.

An affair? I am sure that is not the case, sir.

Are you really?

I have known Johnny a long time
and he loves and admires you

too much to act on any impulse he may
feel regarding jumping on your wife...

sir.

You are a very loyal friend, Gabriel.

But can you see how it compromises both of us,

for me to continue as Millais' patron?

So you'll be looking for a new protege?

These show a new intensity, Gabriel.

An intensity triggered by an aching heart, Sir.

I am sure you are familiar with that feeling.

Quite.

Are you aware if Hunt is
still searching for a patron?

I am afraid Hunt is dead set on
this insane trip to the Middle East.

Surely he sees that he will paint things there
that he will be ashamed of in seven years.

I have said the verysame thing
to him, sir. The very same!

I fear I have misjudged you.

I've always considered you to
be irredeemably superficial.

Whereas now you consider me to be
redeemably superficial, perhaps?

Is that mill owner still buying your work? What
was his name? Mr Chadwick? Yes, Mr Chadwick and I

have decided to go our separate ways, sir. I
felt I could not paint to his requirements, sir.

Patrons a little thin on the
ground at the present moment.

Well, when this story dies down
I will pay a visit to your studio.

And we'll see if I can't do
something about that, shall we?

I'm sure the story will die
down sooner than you think, sir.

A storm in a teacup.

And so Ruskin visited you in person?

Yes. In person. He's as tortured as Johnny
by the way this whole thing has unravelled.

Did he mention me at all?

He said that your trip to the Holy
Land might have you producing work

that you will still be proud of
in seven years' time! And me...

I put him right on you, Fred.

I told him your true character. So he
thinks I should travel to the Holy Land?

And although I'll miss you like my own soul,

I find myself in agreement with him. But I
thought you were so against it. I was wrong.

You'll come back a better artist. And what about
Johnny, though? If I left now it would break his heart.

I think Johnny might be
preoccupied with other matters.

How will I break it to Annie, Gabriel?

Annie will understand. If she
loves you, she'll understand.

So you are really going, then?

It has no reflection on you, Annie,

no reflection at all.

I love you. And I feel nothing but
respect for your working class soul.

However, there are those out there,

who would judge you for your
coarse ways and foul mouth. Not me.

But others.

And for that reason, while I'm away, you
will receive the training that you need

in order to be accepted by my
family as my bride. And then,

when I return,

we shall be married

straightaway.

And I promise you that.

Well, I suppose I've had worse offers.

SHE SNIFFS

Before you go to that Holy Land, would you
care to take one more visit to this Holy Land?

I have a confession to make.

When I boasted before about

the number of women I have been intimate with,

I may have exaggerated their number.

Oh.

So, not so many then?

Not so many, no.

In fact, none.

So we have both passed our virginity tests?

I suppose, yes, I suppose that's right!

But you are familiar with

the necessary order of proceedings.

I have studied Leda and
the Swan at close proximity.

I think I have some grasp of the basic geography.

SHE GASPS

Perhaps if you were to move a little.

Back and forth.

That would be pleasurable.

Oh.

Yes.

So it is.

So it is.

There is nothing wrong with you at all.

You are perfect.

Absolutely perfect!

If I could get hold of the
people who wrote such nonsense

I would personally horsewhip
their buttocks to a rosy hue.

I would parade them through town with their trousers
down, exposed to the ridicule of the baying mob.

Have their been many enquiriesabout
Millais' new painting? Some. Why?

I'd hoped there would be. It's
a marvellous piece of work.

We can't confuse our feelings
about the artist with the art.

That would leave usonly able
to admire work by those we like.

Are you occupied on Tuesday?

No.

But I should like to be, if
sexual congress is on offer.

SHE CHUCKLES

Well, it is certainly customary afterwards.

After what?

After the Wedding.

Wedding?

There is no other way to preserve
my reputation than we marry quickly.

That had occurred to you, had it not?

Of course! Of course!

It was...

it was just as you described, Gabriel.

Every bit as enjoyable.

I can quite see why you
find it so distracting. Good.

I've lost Ruskin, of course.

He refuses to speak with me.

What do you want from the man?
He has already made your career.

You are an Associate of the
Academy on his recommendation.

At least The Order of Release has been sold. What?

When did you hear this?
This afternoon. 500 Guineas.

So I suppose that's something.

I see.

That should soften the blow.

Oh, look, the boys have come to see you off.

Anybody would think you three were
sweethearts, the way you carry on.

Now, you have the list of who
Annie can and can't sit for.

Of course, Maniac. And she sits
for Rossetti under no circumstances.

I would think her virtue was
safer with him than any man.

He is besotted with Lizzie. Mr Rossetti has no more
control over his libido than a dog in the street.

And I say that as his best
friend in the world. I understand.

Boys.

I spotted Annie

like a pebble on the beach

and set about to polish her.

Now I have not beenpolishing her these last few weeks
for another man to pop her in his pocket on a whim!

Do I make myself clear?

Completely. Good.

Goodbye.

I shall return...a better man.

I'm sure you will!

The Divine Master in Syria never ceased to
have claimed my homage. Art should serve Christ.

Don't go lifting any veils you shouldn't, hey?

My love.

Keep up with the lessons, my darling.

When you return,

I'll be so sophisticated I'll be able
to come in three different languages.

I would like to report that Gabriel feels a
smidgen of remorse at packing his friend off

to the Holy Land in order to clear
the path between him and Ruskin.

Or at the very least, that his
deceptive ways have lost him

the one thing he truly values.

But no.

He seems to have no idea that
Lizzie's love for him is both

undeserved and unfair.

Hunt, meanwhile,

begins his pilgrimage in the spirit
of a man who is giving up drink,

but then happens upon a jug of gin he
has forgotten about beneath his bed.

And Effie, determined to make up
for years of a sexless marriage

has Millais pleasure her around the clock.

And Millais, is left wondering, once again, when
life will be something that stops happening to him.

When life will finally become something

that he can do something about.

Does this look in any way suspicious or sordid
to you? Gabriel. I am begging you. Please!

Bugger me!

If it isn't Ali Baba!

Please desist in this foolishness, Maniac.

Fred has decided to tell the truth at
all times, like an Old Testament prophet.

What have you said?

I do hope you aren't intending
to be forward with me, sir.

Forward to begin with and then any
other direction that takes my fancy.

I want to buy everything. Everything? Oh, my God!

Do you know why I love it? Because it's shit.

Marry me or leave me alone
to live my life as I see fit!

Ah, Ruskin! So is the gossip true?

He never covered the mare?

Come on, little Maniac, let's be having you.

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