Desperate Housewives (2004–2012): Season 7, Episode 9 - Pleasant Little Kingdom - full transcript

Tom is deeply grieved that Lynette fails to defend his manliness while her friends flaunt their men's virility, only to get embarrassingly explicit public 'praise' for his manhood after Susan gets an accidental peek of the couple making love. Keith presents Bree to his parents and plans to propose, a recipe for disaster. Paul shocks everyone by revealing he needs to buy only one more home to be able to start a center for ex-cons, which would plummet all real estate prices. Bob warns Gabrielle against illegal aspirations to keep Grace's whole family in the country. Renee admits still being in love with the one man who got away- bachelor Tom Scavo.

Previously on Desperate Housewives.

Renee and Tom discussed their past.

I seem to remember you caught me
in a towel then, too.

Bree's Thanksgiving dinner...

I want a divorce.

I'm happy to oblige!

Dad! Mom...

...went up in flames.

Look who's here.

Gabby's dinner ended
when Hector got arrested.

I think they're illegals.

I have to move out of our house...

And she was afraid of losing
her biological daughter, Grace.

Stay with us
until we can figure things out.

And Paul's plan...

You are the proud new owner
of your old house!

...was set in motion.

So Paige and I will be at the park
for about 30 minutes.

Great. I should have
all the clothes packed up by then.

Oh, shoot. I forgot the pacifier.

I didn't. It's in the diaper bag.
Have a good time.

There are certain things
every parent must remember.

Which toys can't be thrown away,

which vegetables must not be served,

which clothes
should never be mended.

But the one thing every parent
can forget

is how quickly their children grow up.

Hey, what's going on in here?

Lisa Ellison is pregnant, so
I'm gonna give her some baby clothes.

Paige has grown out of all her onesies.

Wow, that was fast.

So fast. Isn't there a way
we could keep her small?

Well, we could stop feeding her.

Then we could save money
on food and clothes.

Hey, you okay?

Yeah, it just hit me
that this is my last onesie.

After Paige, no more babies.

Isn't that what you wanted?

I mean, weren't you the one
who threw confetti

after the doctor tied your tubes?

Yes, but now I'm thinking
that it's just going by too quick

and before you know it,
they'll be grown,

and it'll just be you and me.

And you know what
the best part of that is?

-It'll be just you and me.

What are you doing?

Giving you a preview of what
our retirement's gonna be like.

What about... What about the kids?

They all left for school. I saw them.

But in the nursery?

In front of Peter Pan?

It's about time he grew up.


Yes, there are certain
things every parent must remember.

I forgot Paige's doll.

I'll... I'll... I'll tell her it's dead.

Locking the door is one of them.

It's a question we all ask ourselves.

Do I trust the folks who live next door?

Can I count on the woman
who lives down the block?

Will that couple across the street
be there when I need them?

Yes, good neighbors
are people we can rely on.

Great neighbors

are the ones who do
exactly what they are told.

So this is what you want me to sign?

Yes. Down at the bottom.

Is there a problem?

I'm just a little sad, that's all.

Now what do you have to be sad about?

I'm paying you well over market value.

I know. It's just...

I love the Lane.
Everyone's always been so kind to me.

To just up and move at my age...

The neighborhood is about to change.

In a few months,
you won't recognize this street.

It's better to go now
with your memories intact.

What do you mean it's gonna change?

You don't have to worry about that.

All you need to know
is that I'm helping you.

I am so sorry. I got hung up.

Don't worry. It's done.

Mr. Scully sold? But I had
a lot of details to work out.

I mean, the length of escrow,
disclosure agreements...

-You'll still get your commission.

So what happens now?


Now I let the neighborhood
in on my plan.

Plan? You have a plan?


Oh. So now she knocks.

It's Susan. I'm entering the house.

It's okay, Susan. We are totally clothed.


Sweetie, you avoided making
eye contact with us all day yesterday.

Can we move past this?

Yeah, I think the only fair thing now
is for us to see you and Mike naked.

Okay, you were right. It's not funny.


I just want to say congratulations.

For what?

Well, I don't mean to be crass,
but when I walked in on you guys,

I couldn't help but notice
that Tom is quite


- Oh, that.
-"Oh, that"?

When I opened the door,
I thought you two had company.

I mean, I'm not sure if it was all
the tiny furniture in the nursery,

-but he looked...
-I get it, I get it.

I'm a very lucky woman.

So, why haven't you ever mentioned it
to me and the girls?

Mention it?

When we went for margaritas that night

and we all, kind of, told each other

our husbands' "accomplishments,"

how come you never told us
you were sleeping with Tommy Tripod?

"Tommy Tripod"?

How many more of these do you have?


I'm serious.

You were so tight-lipped that we just
assumed that Tom was one of those,

you know, button on
a fur coat kind of guys.

It's just something
I don't care to advertise.

What do I care if people think
he's got a dinky one?

Hey, Carmen. What's with the map?

I just spoke to Hector.

Oh, my God! How is he? Where is he?

Staying with his cousin in Sabinas.

Grace and I will be leaving for Texas
in two days.

What? So soon?

Gabby, we discussed this.

We're staying with people we know
for a few weeks

until Hector crosses the border
and joins us.

And then what?

I guess we'll try to get jobs,
find a place to live.

Where? What jobs? You have
a daughter you're dragging into all this.

Grace is a strong girl.

Yes, I know,
but is this what's best for her?

Okay, look, I'm just putting it out there.

Let Grace stay here with us.

Just until you and Hector get settled.

That could take months.

I don't mind.

That way she can at least stay
in school, she'll be safe, be with family.

Hector and I are all the family
she needs.

She comes with me.

Carmen, I don't mean to make you mad.

It's just... I have a say in this, too.
I'm her birth mother.

And I'm Juanita's! Does that mean
I should take her with me?

Take her where? To run? To hide?

That's the life you're making Grace live!

But here, she can have anything
she wants. Just like Juanita.

So she could become a spoiled girl
who never thinks of others,

just like Juanita.

Hey. There is nothing wrong
with my kid.

No, you're right.

It's not her fault she's being raised
by a bad mother.

And if a life of running and hiding
keeps that from happening to Grace,

then that is what I'll do.

So we'll just tell people that
you slipped in the bathroom

and bumped your head.
We're old, people expect that.

What were you thinking with that book?

I thought it would add a little spice.

Kama Sutra. Kama sutures!

Where did that come from?

Wasn't there yesterday.

Take these. Take these home.

I gotta make sure
people know about this.

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

"Correctional Center"?
What is that, a jail?

I called the city.

They say it's "transitional" housing
for felons under house arrest.

A halfway house for convicts
on our street?

-I don't understand.

The city bought this house?

No. I did.

You're responsible for this?

Sure am.

What could you possibly be thinking?

The day I was released from prison,
I felt so blessed.

I knew that I was coming home

to the loving embrace
of this beautiful neighborhood.

And most inmates,
when they're released,

don't have that kind of support.

Most of them are isolated, which
leads them to commit more crimes.

Bringing them to a place like this,

where they can interact
with folks like you,

might just keep a few of them
from making that unfortunate choice.

Come on, Paul.
We've got children here.

And I'm not spending my golden years

borrowing a cup of sugar
from drug dealers and rapists.

I'm all for charity, but our neighborhood
can't handle something like this.

Apparently, I have more faith
in you people than you do.

Oh, my God.

In a way, this halfway house
will be a testament

to how I feel about
each and every one of you.


Oh. I've really got to start knocking.


Lynette asked me to bring over
this birthday card

that got delivered
to her house by mistake.

Thanks so much. You can toss it.

You're not gonna read it? Come on.

Someone who loves you took the time
to send a card.

"Happy birthday from

"Dr. Frank at Midtown Dental."
Oh, look. You're due for a cleaning.

-Goodbye, Susan.
-No, wait.

So it's your birthday, huh?

Do you have
something special planned?

I haven't celebrated my birthday
since the third time I turned 28.

Hey, what do you say you and I go out?

No candles, no cake, no singing. Just
enough booze to wash away the pain.

Why do you assume I'm in pain?


I was talking about my pain.

I've really been missing Mike
since he's been in Alaska

and I have a bunion
that's bothering me...

Fine, fine. We'll have dinner.

Let's just make it early.

I want to have a back-up dinner lined up

just in case
this one gets too depressing.

Oh, I promise you're gonna have a great


Hey, there's my favorite lawyer.

As it happens,
I need some good legal advice.

You mean free legal advice.

Well, yeah, free is good.

So, let's say, hypothetically,

I know a woman
who's in this country illegally...

You mean Carmen?

She's not the only illegal I know.

Half of Carlos' family scaled
a fence at some point.

Now, let's say this woman's daughter
is an American citizen.

You mean Grace?

Hello? Still hypothetically.

Now, could the daughter stay here
with another family

if, say, somebody anonymously
reported the mother to Immigration?

Yeah, as long as it's not
the somebody who called Immigration,

because hypothetically
she'd be burning in hell.

Come on, Carmen wants to drag Grace
all over Guadala-somewhere,

while Hector figures out a way
to sneak back into the country.

Gabby, you can't do this.
They're a family.

Just tell me, is it legal or not
for me to keep her?

Yes, technically, it's legal,

but just because something's legal
doesn't make it right.

Okay, geez, you don't have to
jump down my throat.

Like I said, it was just hypothetical.

Yeah, hi, can I get the number for
the Immigration Department, please?

What do you want for dinner?
Pasta, meat loaf?

I don't care. Meat loaf's good.

Why don't you talk about my penis?

Excuse me?

I overheard you and Susan talking.

I was surprised to find
you'd never bragged about me.

There's a reason
they call them private parts.

And why would you care, anyway?

I know what you gals talk about
when you get together.

Gabby lets everyone know
how much money Carlos has,

Susan talks about
what a badass Mike is.

-So do I always have to be the joke?

The one who paid too much for the car,

the one who cried
when the cop pulled him over.

You don't have a problem
sharing my screw-ups,

but God forbid you give me
this one little victory.

Are we really having this conversation?

I'm just saying, for once it would be nice

if you gave me a little good press.

You know, tell your friends

what I bring to the table.

Please don't put it on the table.

I'm sorry, I was looking for
my contractor boyfriend,

not a suave international spy.

Well, the restaurant's pretty,
how do the kids say it, snazzy.

You look wonderful.

Shall we?

Hang on. I just gotta grab
one thing out of my room.


Oh, hey, Bree. I heard the door.
I thought you were pizza.

Hello, Richard.
Are we going to bed, or getting up?

I don't know, let's see.

Ah, Wheel of Fortune.
Getting up.

So how are you doing?

Not so hot. Mary's lawyer called today.

We're starting our divorce proceedings.

I'm so sorry.

The marriage has been over
for a long time,

but I had no idea what
a kick in the gut this was gonna be.

I guess it's just hitting me

that I could be alone
for the rest of my life.

Richard, that's ridiculous.
Take a look in the mirror!

I mean, after you shower.

You are a catch.

You're smart, adventurous,
very handsome...

For a tired old guy in his 50s.

Stop wallowing in self-pity! You were
a major in the army. Be strong.

The army's easy. There's structure.

They tell you what to do,
you do it, but this...

Fine. Then I'll tell you what do.

Turn off the TV, get dressed
and get out of this apartment.

And do what?

Ready to go?

Change of plans.

I've invited your father to join us.

I hope you don't mind. Bree could see
that I'm a little down.

No. No, it's fine.

It's not like I had
anything special planned.


Okay, I checked the bylaws,
we can all relax.

Paul can't open a halfway house
on this street

without approval
from the Homeowners' Association.

And since he only has one house...

He only gets one vote.
No way he gets a majority.

Thank God.

Let's call a meeting
of the Association and take a vote

so we can get this over with.

Does this seem too easy?
I mean, Paul's a smart guy.

He wouldn't pull a stunt like this,

unless he thought
he could get away with it.

I wish Mike were here.

He'd just go over there
and scare some sense into him.

Do we know any other macho guys
who could do the job?

What about Carlos?

Forget Carlos. We've got a guy
right here that can do the job.


Not me.

Hey, what about the gay?

He looks like
he could do some damage.

Okay, how about I just refresh
everyone's coffee,

'cause it looks like
that's all I'm good for.

Oh. Can you be a love and bring back
more of these cookies?

-You okay?

Roy? Your friends think everybody
on the street is tougher than me.

That's ridiculous.

Hey, how about we send Lynette
over there?

She's got a set of cojones on her.

You see? You see?
This is all your fault!

How is it my fault?

'Cause you never say
anything positive about me.

God forbid you talk me up, make
these people think I'm a real man!

A real man? Are you suggesting
we make this meeting

a forum for your talent?

Why is it so hard for you
to say nice things about me?

I do! All the time.

You prefer to emasculate me.

Emasculate you? No, I don't!

-Yes, you do. Yes, you do.
-No. You want me to talk you up?

-Yeah, that would be great.
-Fine. I'll talk you up!

Listen, everybody, I've got an idea.

If we need someone
to intimidate Paul, Tom can do it,

in the men's room.


Oh! You didn't hear? Tom's packing!

We're talking big, circus big.

So big he can drive in
the car pool lane when he's alone.

-If it falls in the forest,

believe me, it makes a sound.

-That's enough!
-The Washington Monument looks at it

and says,
"I want to be you when I grow up."

Geez, you'd think she'd smile more.

Grace, you want to go
to the kitchen for a little bit?


Maybe make yourself a snack.

You are such a brave little girl.

If anything bad ever happens,

you are surrounded
by people who love you.

-What are you talking about?

Immigration's here.

The men who took Daddy?

Don't worry, Grace.
Everything's gonna be okay.


Grace, listen to me.

Go upstairs to Juanita's room
and do not move until I tell you.

No, Mama. I want to stay with you.

I'll be fine.

I love you.

I love you.

Go! Go!

These people are going to take me.
I need you to look after my baby.

You're not going anywhere.

Can I help you?

I'm Agent Jackson from ICE.

We're looking for Carmen Sanchez.
Is that you?

Okay, Mrs. Solis, I'm going to
the store now for oven cleaner.

Are you Carmen Sanchez?

Ma'am, we're from U.S. Immigration
and Customs Enforcement.

I might be late tomorrow.

This is lovely, Keith.

Yeah, but it feels like
something's missing.

What is it? Oh, I know,

my father.

I'm sorry. I know we've been having
a lot of dinners with him lately...

No, it's okay. It's really sweet the
way you've been looking after him.

But I'm really glad it's just us tonight.

Me, too.

I'll check on our table.
Wanna grab me a drink?

Yeah. Whiskey up, ice water back.

Can I help you?

Watson, party of two.
I'm the one who called earlier...

Oh, yes, of course.

Would you like the ring
delivered in our chocolate souffl??

No, I'm too nervous to wait
for dessert. How about an appetizer?

We have the jumbo shrimp cocktail.

Not jumbo. I don't want the shrimp
to make the ring look small.

-Thank you.
- Bree?

It's me, Tracy. Tracy Miller!

Of course. It's been years. You look...

Incredible. Look at me, I'm a stick.
I've lost a ton.

Good for you.
What's Adam doing these days?

Sitting in a studio apartment

and cursing my divorce lawyer
for taking all of his money.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, don't be. I'm doing great.

They're ready for us.

Oh, my God. Is this Andrew?

I can't believe how grown up he is.

No. This is my boyfriend, Keith.

Wow. I guess we're both doing great.

After the mudslides,
there was an outbreak of cholera.

Half my village died.

That's when we paid the coyotes
to bring us over the border.

Geez, cholera, getting shot at...

Doesn't anyone have a happy story
about coming to this country?

Gabrielle Solis? Your husband is here.


Good luck.

I'm sure I'll see you all again.
You seem like a very persistent lot.

You okay?

As long as you're not mad at me.

Are you kidding?

That was a very brave thing
that you did for Carmen.

Yeah, well, you know me,
always thinking about others.

So, where are Carmen and Grace?

Carmen was too scared
to stay at the house.

So I put them up in a motel.

Well, you can tell them everything's
fine, they can come home now.

Gabby, you just made fools
out of a US government agency.

Our house isn't safe anymore.

Carmen and Grace are leaving
for Texas in the morning.

Isn't this romantic?

Like I said, I wanted this to be
a special night for the two of us.

Son of a bitch.

Well, hey, you two.

Richard, hi. What are you doing here?

I thought if Keith were bringing
a great cook like you here,

it's got to be good.
So I thought I'd order some take-out.

Take-out. Good idea.


I thought maybe I'd take the
food home and eat in front of the TV.

Of course, it is Friday,
there's probably nothing on.

So I guess I'll just eat over the sink.

Well, Richard, if you don't have
plans, would you like to join us?

Of course he has plans.
Didn't you hear about the sink?

I would love to.
Let me get another chair.

What are you doing?

The man is clearly in pain.

It's not your responsibility
to cheer him up.

When he is tired of being alone,
he will meet somebody.

Maybe sooner than you think.

Tracy, I cannot get over
how great you look.

What is your secret?


After I lost the weight,
I took a picture of myself naked

and sent it to my ex to rub his face in it.

Or to show him
what he can't rub his face in.

Am I right?

You know, Richard, speaking of...

Tracy here has
an incredible singing voice.

Oh, really?

Yes, we met in church choir.

Didn't you say
you sang in your church choir?

Still do. I love it.

Yeah, I don't sing anymore.
Or believe in God.


Yeah, it's kind of hard
to believe in a higher power

when you're on your knees,

begging for help
for your nightmare of a life,

and you get squat.

So, yes. That's how we met. The choir.

Well, Tracy,
not that God needs defending,

but as someone who's been in combat,

I have found my faith to be
a comfort in difficult times.

Isn't that refreshing?
A man with old-fashioned values.

I think we should cut
all funding to the military

and pour it into the schools.

I hope they'll teach Arabic
in those schools.

So, shall we order?

Bree, can I talk to you for a sec?


"Shall we order"?
Are you not sitting at that table?

This plan of yours isn't working.

I admit she was much nicer
when she was fat.

Look, you need to get them out of here.

I have to talk to you
about something really important.

What is it?

I can't just blurt it out.
It needs to be done just right.

Hey! Did anyone order
a shrimp cocktail

with a puny engagement ring
on the side?

Oh, crap.

Keith, what is that?

No, no, forget you ever saw this!

But Keith...

I don't wanna hear your answer, Bree!
This is not how this is happening!

You never should've invited him
to stay here.

You ruined this entire thing!

And so did you! And so did you!

Well, he certainly killed the evening.

So on Sunday,
I make a big roast chicken.

Then on Monday,
I turn that into chicken salad.

And on Tuesday, chicken soup.

It's amazing how you can stretch
a simple chicken...

Into a 45-minute story?

When you said you were the fun one on
the Lane, who was your competition?

The mailbox?

I was just trying to cheer you up.

Who said I need cheering up?


I saw you crying yesterday.

For God's sake. This is a pity dinner?

No. I just...
I know what you're going through.

Birthdays are hard.
Especially when you're single.

But I guarantee you
you're going to meet someone.

You're a very attractive woman.

You think that's what
I was crying about?


You find me attractive?


Would you wanna go out with me?

Yeah. But we'd have to be very
discreet, because my girlfriend...

See? I have no problem getting a guy.

So why the sob-fest?

Do we really have to talk about this?


On Wednesday,
I make chicken potpie...

Okay. Okay.

Here's why I was crying.

I was thinking about
this great guy from my past.


It was over 20 years ago.

We only had one weekend together.

But the way he made me feel...

The older I get, I keep thinking

that he was the one.

And I let him slip away.

What? That doesn't sound like you.

There was someone else in the picture.


we never know what's going to happen.

I mean, Mike and I
had our share of setbacks.

But I never gave up.

I never stopped dreaming that
maybe one day it would work out.

And neither should you.

You know what, Susan?
I just figured out your thing.

You aren't the fun one,

you're the smart one.

You're good. I'll give you that.

It speaks.

Just when I think you can't find
new ways to embarrass me,

you top yourself.

Well done, nutcracker.

Wait a minute. Wait! Wait a minute.

We were having a discussion
about the future of our community,

and you attacked me and turned it
into a referendum about your manhood.

You know, I wish I didn't have to do that.

But I'm tired of all of our friends
thinking that I'm just a buffoon.

"Buffoon"? Are you insane?

Every woman on this street
constantly tells me

that I have the perfect husband.

They do not.

They do. Gabby says that she wishes
Carlos was thoughtful like you.

Susan wishes
Mike had your sense of humor.

Bree says
she's never seen a better dad.

And why do you
sound annoyed by that?

How many people go up to you and
tell you you have the perfect wife?

Take your time.

Well, lots.

Oh, wrong.
I know how our friends see us.

You're the hard-working, nice guy,
and I am the bitch.

I am the one who's constantly
emasculating her husband.

I'm the one who can't wait to get away
from her kids and go back to work.

No, people don't say that.

See, you are so nice,
you can't even tell me the truth.

For almost 20 years,

all I've heard is how incredibly
lucky I am to have a guy like you.

So, if I don't constantly brag
about how great you are,

it's only because
I don't wanna be reminded

of how much
I don't deserve you.

You know, I'm the one who should
be bragging to all the neighbors,

telling them how lucky I am
to be married to a woman

who's still sexy as all get out,

who makes me laugh,

and whose heart is so big

that even after raising five children,

she still cries when she has
to pack away the last onesie.

I didn't cry.

Okay, I teared up a bit.

You know what I'm in the mood to do?

I have an idea.

It did everything
but tap me on the shoulder.

And that's how you get out of paying
for a taxi.

Well, we weren't in a taxi,
we were in my car.

But now I know
why you showed me your boobs.

Okay, that's a lot of stairs. How does
sleeping on the couch sound?

You know something?

I told Lynette
you were this mousy little loser.

Actually, you told that to me.

Oh. I'm sorry.

'Cause I really like you now.
You're nice.

Much nicer than that Susan.



You gonna be okay?

I thought I was.

I thought I could live down the
street from him, but it's so hard.


The guy you're in love with,
he lives here?




Tom Scavo?


Love of my life.

Hey, Richard.
I was looking for Keith. Is he here?

No, he went for a walk.

You wanna wait for him?

If you don't mind.

I am so sorry I ruined your evening.

Well, to be fair, you had some help.

Still, if I had any idea
he was gonna propose...

No one was more surprised than me.

This is none of my business,

but if he'd pulled it off,
what would you have said?

Speaking as your prospective
father-in-law, of course.

I don't know. It's all a little sudden.

Yeah, that's Keith.

He's always been an impulsive kid.
Never really thinks things through.

Actually, his spontaneity is one
of the things I love about him.

Can I be honest with you?

I would never

put you and Keith together.


Yeah, I see you with someone steady,

more reliable.

Someone who shares your faith,
your old-fashioned values.

Someone more your own age.

Well, that being said,
I really do love your son.

I love him, too.
Like I said, he's a great kid.

I should go.


Please tell him that I stopped by.

It's been so wonderful
getting to know you.

You, too, Mrs. Solis.

What are you doing?

Memorizing your face.

Texas is far away. I don't know
when I'm gonna see you again.

Maybe someday.

Yeah, maybe someday.

Can I tell you something, Grace?

I grew up just like you.

I didn't have a lot of pretty things,

but I never let that stop me
from going after any dream I wanted.

So you remember that, okay?


They need to go.

I wish you could stay with us.



I'm sorry about what I said
about Juanita the other day.

Don't worry about it.

We should go.


Thank you.

Thank you for taking care of my baby.

Thank you for taking care of mine.

Oh, God.

Hey, everybody, quiet down.
This shouldn't take too long.

We only have one order of business
on the agenda tonight.

And that is the new halfway house

that is scheduled to open in
the property owned by Paul Young.

So let's jump right to the vote.

All those opposed
to the halfway house...

Madam Chairwoman? Point of order.

According to our bylaws, we have to
have a 48-hour notice before a vote.

We'll still vote the same way
in two days, and you'll still lose.

Yeah, that'll be 14 to 1.

Then we'll take another vote
to kick you off the street.

That'll be 14 to 1, too.

You might want to check your math.
I have at least seven votes.

How do you figure that?

With the acquisition
of Mr. Scully's place,

I now own seven houses
on Wisteria Lane.


I used the settlement I got
for my wrongful incarceration

to acquire the extra property.
Didn't I, Lee?

You knew about this?

He was my realtor.
Couldn't have done it without him.

He just hired me.
I didn't know he was evil.

How much money did you make
from these deals, anyway?

Not that much.

So that's why
you tried to buy my house?

You never told us about that.

Well, I made it pretty clear
how I felt about his offer.

Well, none of this matters.

Seven houses isn't enough
to win the vote.

That's an excellent point, Gabby.
I need one more.

And since this halfway house means
a lot to me, I intend to get it.

Well, we're not gonna sell to you.

I don't need all of you to sell. Just one.

So if you're sure it won't happen,
there won't be a problem.

But if someone should sell,

you'll have hardened criminals
on this street.

And what do you think that will do
to your property values?

Oh, my God.

You can't scare us.

Well, maybe not you, Carlos.
You're rich.

But what about Mitzi Kinsky?

What about me?

We all know you've been laid off.

I can offer you well above market value.

Or you, Mrs. McCluskey?

I bet your entire life savings
is tied up in your home.

And, Susan, my offer still stands.

We all know Mike had to go to Alaska
because of your financial problems.

But if you lose half the equity
in your house,

will he ever be able to come back?

How much above market value?


Look, I don't wanna sell, but if
somebody else does, I'm screwed.

No one else is gonna sell.
We have to stick together.

Hey, hey, hey.
What's with all the whispering?

This is private. Do you mind?

Yes, I do. We're all waiting for you
to tell Paul to shove it.

We're just trying to figure out
how to handle this.

There is nothing to figure out.

Hey, money bags. Don't yell at her.

This is exactly what he's trying to do!

He's trying to turn
the whole Lane against...

What the hell were you thinking?

I didn't know what he was up to.

You sold him seven houses.

You didn't think
that was a little strange?

This is not his fault.
So just back the hell off.

Okay, guys.
Come on, everybody, calm down.

We're not gonna let you
destroy this street.

I don't have to.

You're going to do it yourselves.

It's a question we all ask ourselves.

Do I trust the people
who live next door?

Will that couple across the street
be there when I need them?

Can I count on the woman
who lives down the block?

Yes, good neighbors
are people we can rely on.

But if we discover
our neighbors can't be trusted,

then it may be time to move.