Desperate Housewives (2004–2012): Season 6, Episode 5 - Everybody Ought to Have a Maid - full transcript

Bree finds herself in a dilemma with a motel maid; Gabrielle inadvertently makes a business deal of Carlos' bad; Susan accidentally shoots Katherine.

Previously on
Desperate Housewives.

I booked our room at the motel.
I don't want to be alone tonight.

Neither do I.

Affairs got serious.

If you got hit by a bus,
I'd really miss you.

- You're showering alone tonight.
- I love you! There, I said it.

An ex-lover...

Wait, wait. What are you doing?

Just letting you know I'm here for you.

Let's just say he was grateful.
Very grateful.

...spun out of control.

Don't you touch that cake!

You're fired.

And when a crime was committed,

a neighbor was suspected.

Everybody thinks I'm the perv
who attacked Julie.

Just in case someone should try
to come in here and hurt you...

Do you know where your father and I
keep the gun?

But it was the victim...

What were you thinking,
dating a married man?

...who had secrets.

Hey, Julie. I miss you.

It is in our nature
to judge the people around us.

We judge the way strangers dress.

The way our neighbors
tend their lawns.

And the way our friends act in public.

Yes, we make these judgments
all the time,

never thinking that one day,
we may be judged ourselves.


Girls, what are you doing?

- Oh, for Pete's sake.
- My arm.

What did I tell you
about sledding down the staircase?

- Not to use the good suitcase?
- Besides that. Don't do it at all.

Well, what are we supposed to do?

You won't let us play
on the roof anymore!

Crap. Hey, Laura.

- What happened?
- Don't worry, she's okay.

These two knuckleheads decided to
sled down the staircase.

Why would you let them do that?

Oh, don't blame me.
I wasn't even in the room.

You left the girls unsupervised?

They were playing.

Come on,
I can't watch them every second.

Why not? I look after Juanita
when she's at my house,

and she goes home without a scratch.

Only because she's indestructible.

Honey, do that thing where you run
into the wall. Watch, this is hilarious.

You're pretty cavalier,

considering your carelessness
almost killed my daughter.

I got to say, Laura, you're kind of
a wet blanket since you quit smoking.

Why don't you try a pipe?

And I've got to say, Gabby,
I think you're a lousy mother.

- Did you just say that to my face?
- Yes.

And I'm afraid I won't
be bringing my daughter here anymore.

The safety and well-being of my child
must come first.

Fine! Juanita only had Rachel over
because she felt sorry for her.

It was a pity playdate.

And of course this means Rachel won't
be attending Juanita's birthday party.

More cake for us. Beat it.

Let's go, sweetie.

Yes, it's in our nature
to judge those around us.

It's also in our nature...

You know, if you'd taught your kid
how to tuck and roll on impact,

we wouldn't even be
having this conversation! blame someone else
for our mistakes.

It had been two weeks
since Julie Mayer had been attacked.

And when she came home
from the hospital,

the residents of Wisteria Lane
were there to welcome her back.

She was greeted by children
who came with signs,

housewives who came with desserts

and old friends who came with flowers.

Also in the crowd was a new friend,
who came with an agenda.

- You look great, Julie.
- I'm so glad you guys came.

- See you later.
- Bye.


Hey, Julie. Welcome home.

Listen, I've been so worried about you.

Is there someplace we can go
where we can talk?

No. We're not doing this anymore.

- Julie, please.
- Dominic, I'm sorry. It's over.

Hey, Mrs. McCluskey.

- Bree!
- Oh, hi, I'm so sorry I'm late.

I have three parties this weekend
and I'm up to my elbows in canap?s.

- Why isn't Katherine helping you?
- I had to let her go.

- What?
- You're kidding.

We were working this event,
and she went berserk.

And then when I fired her,
she intentionally scratched my car.

Wow. I flipped her the bird
the other day after she cut me off.

Won't make that mistake again.

- I think she needs help.
- I think she's a drama queen.

But if she is in trouble
and we don't do anything,

it could be Mary Alice all over again.

I don't know.
Susan, what do you think?

Well, I know
she's going through a rough time,

but I have trouble feeling sorry for her.

I get that. After that stunt
she pulled at your wedding.

True. And did you tell them
about Katherine hitting on Mike?

What? When did that happen?

He did mention it, didn't he?

Of course, yeah.

We laugh about it all the time.

Oh, and look, there's Mike now,
and I could use a good laugh.

Would you excuse me?

Sweetie, can I talk to you a second?

If it was no big deal,
why didn't you just tell me?

Julie was in the hospital.

I didn't tell you because I, crazy me,
thought it might upset you.

And here's why I'm upset.

Because now I realize that Katherine
is not hurting, she's plotting.

So, I'm going to go over there
right now and...

No. Susan, you don't want
to pour gasoline on this fire.

Well, you're right.
I want to pour gasoline on Katherine.

And if you love me at all,
you'll give me a match and an alibi.

Honey, let her have her lies.
Let her plot.

You got nothing to worry about.
You mean everything to me,

and Katherine means nothing.

Well, that's sweet.

- I'm going to go tell her you said that.
- Get back here.

Hey, you want to talk about this?

Yeah, sure.
Let's have a nice father-son chat

about how you're cheating on Mom.

Do you know how stupid I felt?

I got into a huge fight with Julie
because I thought she was lying to me,

that she was just telling me
she had a boyfriend to blow me off.

Then I followed her home,

and it turns out she does have
a boyfriend. You.

I'm sorry.
And for what it's worth, it's over.

If I ever see you two together again,

I'm going to tell Mom.

You want to tell your mother?
Okay, come on.

Let's go, right now. Come on.


You think you can dangle that ax
over my head? Then go for it.

So, you want Mom to know?
You want to destroy her life?

Your mom finding out
that I had an affair won't destroy her.

Her finding out that you knew about it,
yeah, that will.

Yeah, I'm the bad guy.

You think your mom's the perfect one
in this marriage?

There you two are.
They're bringing out a cake for Julie.

Everything okay out here?


Just having a little father-son chat.

That's my boys.

Come on, they're cutting the cake.

Come in. Hey, Karen.

Lynette, when you've needed a favor
from me, have I ever let you down?

Last month,
we needed a sitter for Penny,

but you didn't want to miss Oktoberfest.
And just last Thursday...

Okay, new way in.
I've got a problem with Roy.

- He's been kind of down lately.
- What's wrong?

He lives on a fixed income, and he can't
afford to pay for nice dinners,

but when I pay, he sulks.
He says I'm keeping him.

Hell, at his age,

he should be glad to have something
keeping him besides formaldehyde.

You know what I mean?

And the favor would be?

Well, I was thinking maybe you
and Tom

could hire him for a few hours a week
as a handyman.

You know, so he'd have
a little walking-around money.

Gee, I don't know.

Okay, girl-talk time.

When Roy's spirits are drooping,
the problem is global.

You get the picture?

Getting the picture isn't the problem.
It's getting rid of it.

Come on, try him for one week.

I'm only hesitant
because he's your boyfriend,

and I'd hate to risk straining
a good friendship.

Well, if I were that good a friend,

would I be putting you
in this awkward position?

Excellent point. He's hired.

Thanks. You'll never know
what you've done for my sex life.


- I love it that you do that.
- What?

When I first brought you here,
you didn't want to set foot in this room,

and now you get sad
every time we have to leave.

Well, it's now our place.

It's not what I would have chosen,
but it's growing on me.

I'm sorry. I thought you checked out.

It's okay. We're just going.
Tip's on the dresser.

Well, thank you, sir.

Excuse me. I seem to have lost
an earring, a little pearl stud.

- Oh! I can help you look for it.
- Thank you.

Hello? Hi, Orson.

No, I told you your gray suit is
at the tailor's.

Where am I now? At the supermarket,
getting us something for dinner.

You already did all the shopping?
Well, great.

I will just put all this food away
and come straight home. Bye.

Found it. It was buried in the sheets.

Thank you very much.
Let me get you a little something.

- My wallet's here somewhere.
- That's all right.

I'm sure you're eager to get home
to your husband.

Oh, okay.
Well, thanks for letting me know.

What's wrong?

Heidi Bremer just informed me
her kid can't come on Saturday.

She and Don are going to
the nursing home to visit his mother.

So, why are you mad?

Because it's a lie!
Heidi hates his mother.

She wouldn't cross the street
to visit that drooling fossil.

And that's the third cancellation
I've gotten today,

and every excuse has been a crock.

Why would people lie
to get out of a kid's party?

Because Laura Miller's out there
spreading her poison.

She's telling every woman in the PTA
their kids aren't safe in my house.

And those Hausfrau cronies of hers
are lapping it up.

Juanita will be heartbroken
if no one comes to her party.

No, no, no. They'll come.
We just have to build it, that's all.

This is about to cost me money, isn't it?

Carlos, there are women out there
who think I'm a bad mother!

It is your job to support me.

Now just shut up
and fork over some cash.

Wouldn't it be easier
to just watch the kids while they play?

Did you just say that to my face?

Here, take the whole wallet!

Voil?. Grilled langoustines.
Your favorite.

- How very thoughtful of you, Orson.
- Well, they weren't easy to find.

The man at one store
tried to sell me shrimp,

and when I tried to explain the
difference, he gave me an argument.

What is it with service people
these days?

They used to be polite and deferential.
Now they just sneer right in your face.

It's intolerable.

Well, I wouldn't let it spoil
a nice dinner.

Sorry. I had a very irksome encounter
myself today.

Really? Where?

At a caf?.

I was having lunch and this waitress
was rude and superior.

Superior? To you?

Well, you should have whipped out
a copy of your best-selling cookbook

like you did last week
in the food court at the mall.

Well, I doubt this woman
would have been impressed.

Really? Well, you sure
put that pretzel vendor in his place.

I was so startled,
I didn't know what to say. I just let it go.

Well, is this a caf? you frequent often?

As often as I can.

Well, next time you're in there,
I think you should clear the air.

Demand a little courtesy.

Thank you, Orson.
I think I may do that tomorrow.

This is nice, isn't it?
Sharing a meal, talking about our days.

Why don't you pass
on that caf? tomorrow,

and let me make you a nice salad
or an omelet?

Thank you, dear,

but tomorrow, I'm planning
on having something a bit spicier.

- Lynette!
- Yeah?

Look what Roy did.

Open, closed, open, closed.

We don't need to use
that spatula anymore.

That's great.
So, Roy, since you're so ingenious,

how about you build some flower boxes
for our bedroom windows?

Well, our window if you want,
but not the kids'.

- Why not?
- Because they'll never water them.

Well, I'll remind them.

They can't keep a goldfish alive
for more than one day.

What makes you think they're
gonna take better care of geraniums?

I don't know.
I just know we're getting flower boxes.

So, Roy, you can go ahead
and get those started.

Are you good with this, Mr. Scavo?

Sure. What the hell?

- Okay. I'll go measure the windows.
- Thanks, Roy.

- What was that?
- What?

He just went over my head to you.

I knew I liked that guy
the minute he walked in.

Look! Open, closed. Open, closed.

Do you like pizza?

Hi, Laura, Kirstin, Heidi.

- Hi.
- Gabrielle.

I'm glad you're here, Laura.
I wanted to apologize.

Things got a little heated the other day,

and I think we both said some things
we didn't mean.

I appreciate that, Gabrielle.

Good. Well...

Now that that's behind us,

if Rachel would like to come
to Juanita's birthday party,

we'd love to have her.

Sorry, but I'm still not comfortable
with that.

Oh, that's a shame.
We're gonna have face painting,

and a cotton-candy machine
and a clown.

A clown? Where's a clown?

Not here, sweetie. He'll be
at Juanita's birthday party on Saturday,

the one your mommy
won't let you go to.

- I wanna go!
- Rachel, we'll talk about it later.

What are you doing, Gabby?

I'm sorry. She asked me a question,
I just answered it.

For example, if she were to ask me
if we were having a bouncy house,

I'd have to say, "Just the biggest
bouncy house you've ever seen!"

Bouncy house? I love bouncy houses!

Is the clown going to be
in the bouncy house?

Maybe. But you'll never know.

Gabrielle, please.

You're right. I'm sorry. This is cruel.

Come on, Juanita.
We got to buy bananas.

The people at your party are going to
want something to feed the monkey.

- Monkey
- A monkey?

- Mommy! Mommy!
- Mommy! Please! I want to go!

- Please, let me go!
- Let's talk about it.

- Please, let me go.
- Let's talk about it. Later. Later.

- It's not fair!
- Please! Please.

- Please!
- I want to go!

Excuse me?

Did you need something in your room?

No, I'm not checked in.
I came here to see you.

- I don't have any weed, lady.
- Sorry?

All you ladies with the nice cars

think anyone who talks like this
must have ganja to sell.

I'm not here to buy ganja.
I came about yesterday.

I appreciated you finding my earring,
but I didn't care for your attitude.

It was very insulting.

- Did I say one cross word to you?
- You didn't need to.

Your disdain was perfectly clear
from the look you gave me.

And there it is again.

I have 12 rooms to do.
I don't have time to argue.

Fine, then I'll help.

Lady, please.
I won't look at you no more, okay?

I'm just saying, you shouldn't make
snap judgments about people.

You see I'm having an affair,

and you just assume I'm a bad person
and a dope fiend.

If you knew more about my marriage,
you'd see me very differently.

I don't need to know
about your marriage.

If you're going to form opinions
about it, then yes, you do.

My husband is a controlling ex-con.
I've begged him for a divorce,

but he won't let me go.
I'm practically his prisoner.

- Your husband's a good man.
- You know nothing about him.

I know he does your shopping for you.

When you lied to him on the phone,

told him you were at the grocery store,
he said he already went.

And your point is?

You know what I would give to have
a man do my shopping for me,

make my life a little bit easier?
And you're not even grateful.

You're just sneaking off here
to do the nasty with your boyfriend.

Who are you to judge me?
You can't even make hospital corners!

What do you want me to say,
lady, huh?

That cheating's not a sin
when you do it in pearls?

Now unless you want to start
on the toilet, I think we're done.

Wow, these flower boxes
are really coming along.

If you have a moment, no rush,

would you hang this birdhouse for me?
I was thinking, on that big tree.

- You got it.
- Thanks.

Roy? Over there. That tree.

Yeah, I was talking to Tom
about it this morning,

and he wants it over here.

Okay, well, that's probably because he
forgot the sprinklers go off over there.

So, do me a favor and hang it
in that tree. Thank you.

...and I'm trying to make nice with you,
as a fellow man, so I guess...

Because she's telling me she wants it
on the other side of the yard.

- Roy?
- Gotta go.

Boy, you're everywhere.
We should get you a bell.

Why are you calling Tom?

To make sure he's okay
with where you want to hang this thing.

I mean, he is the man of the house.

Okay, I know,
since you're using a cell phone,

you know what century it is.

But just to clarify, you don't have to
keep checking with Tom.

I make plenty of decisions around here.

I noticed. I just prefer to treat the guy
with a little respect.

Excuse me?

Just 'cause you like crunching
his walnuts doesn't mean I do.

I beg your pardon!
His walnuts are completely intact!

And you know what?
I think we are done here. You can go.

Fine. As soon as I hang this birdhouse.

Oh, and he said he doesn't care
where it is, so you win. Again.

This isn't about winning!

And I just fired you,
so you can go home!

No. I promised Tom I'd do this,
and I'm doing it.

You know... Give me!

I'd clean that up, but you just fired me.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry!

I thought you saw me.

No. No, no. It's okay. I was just...

Yeah. I should have realized. I'm sorry.

I guess you heard that after it happened
some people thought that...

Oh, um...

I know it wasn't you, Danny.

Hey, that night we argued,
you said you were seeing a guy.

You think maybe
he had something to do with it?

I thought about it, but, no.
He's not that kind of guy.

- So, you have no idea?
- I wish I did.

I haven't been able to sleep.

Every time I'm about to close my eyes,
I'm afraid he'll be there when I wake up.

You know what,
I think I might have something to help.

Thank you all for volunteering.

Here's the thing,
whoever attacked Julie is still out there,

so it's up to us to look out
for each other,

which is where
the Neighborhood Watch comes in.

So, Susan's going to talk to you
about patrol duty. Susan?


What's she patrolling for? His tonsils?


We still need people for 9:00 to
midnight on Thursday. Any volunteers?

Project Runway.

Okay, we have Mona Clark

and Irma Pritchet.

No one else?

Okay, meeting adjourned.

There's coffee back in the kitchen.

Mrs. Pritchet's got a clogged shower
drain, and I promised I'd fix it for her.


I don't think she saw that one.
You want to do it again?

I'll see you at home.

Susan, a word?

Did you not see my hand up?

- I was trying to volunteer.
- I saw.

I was just trying to pick the people
who I thought

could best protect our neighborhood.

So, you picked Irma Pritchet?
Her son is in a nursing home.

Yes, Katherine, Irma is old,
but she's not a big fat liar.

Excuse me?

Well, are you not going around saying
that my husband hit on you?

Susan, I know
you're under a terrible strain,

but do you really think it's a good idea

to air your dirty laundry
in front of all these people?

You're the one with dirty laundry.

My laundry is clean, folded
and put away, you loon.

Um, girls? Everything all right here?

No, it's not! First she calls me a liar,

and now I'm a loon.

Okay, you all heard the things
she was saying.

You saw the way she acted
at my wedding.

Not everyone was invited
to your wedding.

Jeez, Mona, you're like a dog
with a bone. Let it go.

I understand why you're upset.

I'd be on edge, too,
if my marriage were having problems.

Okay, Mike and I are perfectly happy,
and the only problem we have is you!

So, stay out of our lives
or you'll be sorry!

Well, if you two are so happy,
then where did he just disappear to?

He's snaking a lady's drain, okay?

And, yes, I realize how that sounded.
Get your minds out of the gutter!

Hi, Rachel. Look.

Okay, Rachel, have fun.

Coco the Clown will make you
any balloon animal you want.

You know, maybe I should stay
for a little while.

Oh, come on. I'm watching them.
I've got everything under control.

Will you be here?

Could you believe her?

I'm a good mom, aren't I?
People trust me.

Hey, I brought my kid, didn't I?

Yes, you did. But wait, you're staying.

I'll get us drinks.

Hi, sweetie, what's the matter?
Aren't you having a good time?

The man is putting the monkey away.

He said he was too tired
to play anymore.

Oh, I don't think so.
That ape is on the clock till 4:00.

Hey, what gives?

Sorry, Mr. Fibbs did two shows
yesterday. He needs a nap.

No way. I paid for two hours of monkey,
I want two hours of monkey.

Let him go. I can do the gig alone.

No offense, Coco, but I need this
to be the greatest party ever.

And your act isn't exactly
zinging the kids.

Hey, I killed at your other kid's party.

Those kids were three.
These are 7-year-olds,

the big time! Crappy balloon animals
ain't gonna cut it. We need the monkey.

Lady, he's tired.

Well, then give him some
banana-flavored coffee.

You screw me on this, and I swear
Fibbs will never work in this town again.

Come in.

- You called for a light bulb?
- The bedside lamp.

I saw you pull in an hour ago.
Your gentleman friend stand you up?

Sorry to disappoint you,
but he just called. He's on his way.


That's nice.

Well, if you finish your magazine,
there's a Bible in the nightstand.

Tell me something, did he cheat on you
just once? Or did he do it all the time?


I've been wondering
what makes a woman

so quick to judge anyone
who has an affair. And I think I know.

Your husband cheated on you,
didn't he?

My husband was the best man
that I ever knew,

but a good man
wasn't good enough for me.

I was like you. I wanted fun, excitement.
So, I found myself a boyfriend.

Good-looking guy. Sexy.
And we had ourselves a real good time.

You having a good time, lady?

Yes, I am.

Enjoy it while it lasts.
It didn't last long for me.

And when it was done,
I had no husband and no boyfriend.

So, now I'm cleaning rooms.

Every day I see women in here,
acting just as stupid as I was.

I don't say a word to them.
I just give them a look.

Well, I'm sorry
your affair ended so badly,

but that doesn't mean that mine will.

You seem like a nice lady.
Don't you ever feel guilty?


Yes, all right?
Yes, I feel guilty all the time.

You don't know what it's like
when I come home

and my husband's at the door

and there's such love in his eyes,
such hope.

And I want to shake him and say,

"Stop it. Stop loving me.
I'm not worth it anymore."

Don't you want to be worth it again?

Hi, honey. I am so sorry.

Is there some kind of problem?

No, sir. Just turning on a light.

There you are.

Now it's a kid's party.

Are you still mad about Laura?

The party's a success,
the kids are having a great time,

we're drinking margaritas.
What's not to likey?

You know what, you're right. I won.

Laura and her stuck-up posse thought
their kids weren't safe in my house.

I've shown them the best time
they're gonna have all year.

- Um, Gabby.
- I know, they're loud.

Kids! Adults talking!

No, I think that there's a problem. MJ.
MJ, what's going on?

The monkey's killing the clown!

I've gotta get my tranquilizer gun!

I told you he needed a nap!
He was already on edge,

and then that damn clown
popped a balloon in his face.


Laura, I was here every minute.

It's not my fault they sent us
a homicidal monkey.

Well, and plus, the important part is,

the kids had a good time
and created lifelong memories.

Wait! You forgot your goodie bag!

So, I still don't get why you fired Roy.

I mean, he was putting the birdhouse
where you wanted it, right?

It's not about that.
He said I emasculate you.

- He said that?
- Well, not in those words.

He went with a more colorful
nut-cracking analogy.

He is funny.

He is not funny!
And this would be a really good place

for you to jump in and tell me
I'm not a castrating bitch.

Sure. Just put down the knife first.

Wow, we are not laughing at this
at all, huh?

- No.
- Come on, babe. We're great.

You know that.
What do you care what he thinks?

I don't care. It's just,
it bugs me that he's judging me.

- What're you doing with that?
- I thought I'd barbecue some chicken.

Mmm... It's almost dinner time,
and that's still frozen.

Just get some burgers from the garage.

You got it.

Hey, Roy. Can I talk to you?

Sure thing, pally. Here, take a load off.

If it's about me getting into it with your
wife, though, I have to stop you first

- and say I'm sorry.
- Well, thanks.

I mean, I know times have changed,
but a man's still a man.

And you deserve to have
your wife respect you.

- She respects me plenty, Roy.
- Well...

Here's the thing you gotta understand
about Lynette.

She grew up without her dad.
Her mom was a drinker.

So, she had to be responsible
for everyone.

Yeah, well, that's rough.

Yeah. It left her with this constant fear

that everything
could suddenly fall apart,

and that's why she needs
to control everything.

- Of course she can't.
- Yeah.

Nobody can, but...

She can control me, if I let her.

So, I do,
because it makes her feel safe.

And that is my job, as her husband,

to make her feel safe.

You're a good man, Scavo.

I try.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I have hamburger to fetch.

Mmm. Stop beating yourself up.
It wasn't that bad.

Carlos, a monkey almost killed a clown.

That is the definition
of a bad children's party.

Oh, man.

- Laura's right. I'm a terrible mom.
- Hey, come here.

Look, I am no expert at raising children.

All I know is, when all those other kids
ran screaming to their moms,

Juanita jumped in the bouncy house
and zipped it up,

and Celia played dead.
Those girls are smart.

Yeah. They were quick on their feet,
weren't they?

Which they wouldn't be, if you'd been
hovering all over them their whole lives.

They have learned to be independent
and resourceful,

and that is thanks to your negligence.

Mmm. That's so sweet.


That better not be the good suitcase!

- Mom!
- Julie? Julie!

- Sweetie?
- Get Mike!

- He's on a job. What's going on?
- Somebody's outside.

- Oh, my God. What is that?
- It's a gun!

Where did you get that?
Give that to me! What are you thinking?

It's loaded, right?

I have a gun! I've called the police.
They'll be here any minute!

- Katherine?
- You shot me!

Oh, my God, Katherine.
The gun just went off! Are you all right?

- You tried to kill me!
- Okay, I just shot you.

Let's not be throwing
accusations around.

It looks like it just grazed your shoulder.
There's hardly any blood.

- What happened?
- Susan shot me! Call the police!

I told you she was gonna snap.
It's always the pretty ones.

It was an accident!

- Bob, I want you to be my lawyer.
- No, no. I call Bob as my lawyer!

- We heard a gun go off.
- Susan shot me!

- Susan!
- I didn't know it was her!

What were you doing
sneaking around my house?

- I was on Neighborhood Watch.
- You didn't have an assigned shift.

Tom Scavo had to study.
He asked me to fill in.

Well, you should have
checked with me.

That's what I was trying to do
when you shot me! Ow!

All right, all right.
Everybody just calm down.

I'm gonna go call an ambulance.

Perhaps we should unload this
before someone else gets hurt.

Bree, dear?

- Susan just shot Katherine Mayfair.
- What?

She's okay, but she's...
She's freaked out.

Huh! I never pegged Susan
as a gun owner.

Oh, crap.

- It's our gun. I gave it to Julie.
- What? Why?

She was scared.
She wanted protection.

That gun is under our real name!
If they trace that back to us...

But we are not going to let that happen.

You're going to jail for this.

Everyone heard you... Ow.
Threaten me at that meeting.

I have witnesses.

Oh, please, if I were gonna kill you,
I wouldn't do it in my own front yard.

I'd sneak into your house
and shoot you while you were asleep.

Not that I would ever do that.

- Katherine, where are you going?
- Home, to call the police.

Hey, Katherine.
The ambulance is on its way,

but I brought a first-aid kit.

Why don't you let me clean you up
and then you can call?

Ow! Ow!

Look, just leave it. Hand me the phone.
I want to call the police.


- Dumb move, Katherine.
- What?

Listen to me. You and Mike.
I see it, too.

Those looks he gives you.
He's still crazy about you.

- I know!
- So, use your head.

You want to call the police and have
the mother of his kid carted off to jail?

Don't be stupid. High road all the way.

- That's a good point.
- Mmm-hmm.

And besides, you walk around

with a bandage on your shoulder
for a few days,

she looks like a monster,
and you come off looking like a saint.

- So, how are we doing here?
- I'm fine!

Yeah. I don't think we'll be needing
that ambulance anymore, hmm?

I'm telling you,
you can totally see it in her eyes.

- So, am I going to jail?
- Nah, she's not calling anybody.

She was a little worked up, we talked.
It's gonna be okay.

Okay, then.

It is in our nature
to judge the people around us.

If they ignore our wishes,
we believe they are disrespectful.

If they don't watch their children,
we conclude they are unfit parents.

If we catch them cheating,
we assume we know their reasons.

But what happens when we finally stop
for a moment to judge our own lives?

It can be painful to step back
and see what we've been doing.

And even more painful to realize

we have no intention of stopping.