Desperate Housewives (2004–2012): Season 4, Episode 9 - Something's Coming - full transcript

Desperate Housewives S04E09 Something's Coming (VO+STFR&EN)

Mrs McCluskey had reached her limit.

Five kids are tough enough,
but your husband makes six,

and that's where I draw the line.

An old friend paid Adam a visit.

Sylvia.

Aren't you gonna invite me in?

After you ruined my life?
I don't think so.

You should've told the truth about us.

Mike got help

from an unexpected source.



Victor!

Victor lashed out.

Well, get up!

And Carlos and Gabby...

We need to ask you a few questions.

Sorry.
I guess I don't remember anything.

... finally met their match.

I remember everything.

It was supposed to be a beautiful day.

Kids should have been playing
in the park.

Husbands should have been doing
their chores.

Women should have been tending
their flowers.

But at 2:26 that afternoon,

a tornado came to Wisteria Lane,



bringing with it

unbelievable destruction.

No one could have anticipated it,

especially given how the day started.

Sorry, can you say that again?
I don't think I heard you right.

- Carlos and I are back together.
- Gabby, you just got married.

And some of us gave you
very expensive wedding gifts.

You want the fondue set back? Fine.

But don't act like it cost a bundle,
because it clearly didn't.

- I got you the fondue set.
- Oh. Right. It's nice.

- Oh, my God. This is gonna kill Edie.
- You would think so, but no such luck.

That vindictive hag
told Victor everything.

Victor knows?

Yeah. And seeing how
he's the rich mayor of a small town,

with various thugs and cops
at his disposal,

Carlos and I thought it would be safer
if we got the heck out of Dodge.

- You're leaving Fairview?
- Yeah. This afternoon.

- No!
- You can't be serious.

Look, we'll be back someday.

We just have to wait
till this all blows over.

- I can't believe this.
- I know.

This is a lousy way to say goodbye,
and I'm sorry,

but I don't have a choice.

Do you guys have any idea
how much I'm going to miss you?

Hey, you heard the news?
A tornado just hit Mount Pleasant.

And they think we could get one, too.

You all better head inside
and start getting ready.

Go. You guys, go.

Yeah. And we don't need to say
goodbye anyway,

because we're gonna see you
real soon.

And everything will be just the way
it was.

Sadly,
this was not to be.

In four short hours, one of these
women would lose a husband,

and all of them would lose a friend.

But how could they have known this?

It was supposed to be a beautiful day.

By noon that day,

a tornado watch
was in effect on Wisteria Lane,

and every one of its residents
was preparing for the storm.

Everyone, that is,
except Gabrielle Solis,

who was more concerned about
another storm on the horizon.

Mayor Lang,
recovering from his injuries,

will reportedly be released from
the hospital tomorrow.

Until then, the deputy mayor
will be coordinating

Fairview's emergency response
as the city remains on tornado watch.

I turned off the gas
and locked your car in the garage.

I'm gonna go grab my passport
from the safe deposit box

before they close the bank.
What's wrong?

They said Victor's getting out of
the hospital tomorrow.

Relax. We're gonna be gone before
they give him his last sponge bath.

And remember, the accountant's
dropping off the papers

for my Cayman Island account.

I can't deal with that right now.
I'm packing.

Gabby, those documents
give us access to $ 10 million.

Multitask.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I told you just to pack the essentials.

That's what I'm doing.

Is that a boa?

Carlos, if you are taking me somewhere
where I don't need a boa,

then I don't wanna go.

Fine.

You could be a little bit more sensitive.

I had to say goodbye
to my friends today.

Yes, I'm sorry. I should probably go
over and say something to Edie.

Like what?
"Rot in hell, you maggoty whore"?

That woman ruined our lives.
If she had kept her mouth shut,

we wouldn't be running away.

I know, but I can't help feeling
a little guilty.

I mean, do you ever even think about
what we did to Edie?

Who cares? Thanks to her,
I'm giving up my home, my friends,

half my wardrobe. So do me a favour
and never mention her name again,

unless it's followed by the phrase,
"that conniving skank."

You think you can do that?

- Hey, Lynette.
- Hi.

Did you hear they declared
a tornado watch?

- Scary, huh?
- Yeah, well, don't worry about me.

I'm ready for anything.
It's sweet of you to drop by, though.

- Oh, yeah, well, you're welcome.
- Okay.

- Can we stay in your basement?
- What?

Well, if this tornado watch gets
upgraded to a warning,

we're gonna need a place to wait it out.

Who exactly is "we"?

We. Me, Tom, the kids. That family
you've come to know and love.

- All seven of you?
- Yeah.

Well, first of all, I only love four of you.

- And second, no way in hell.
- Mrs McCluskey, please.

It's a small basement, Lynette.
I've already invited Ida over.

We just want to play some cards and
wait this thing out in peace and quiet.

We can be quiet,

relative to the storm.

Look, there's a shelter over
at 3rd and Grove.

- Why don't you go over there?
- That's in the middle of skid row.

You think I want my kids around
a bunch of winos?

Ida's off the wagon.
It's not going to be much better here.

I am asking you as a friend. Please?

You're not gonna let this thing go,
are you?

Thanks. And don't worry,
I'll have a talk with my kids.

I promise they'll keep a lid
on the destruction.

- Relative to the storm.
- Yeah.

Dylan, we're fine.
It's just a tornado watch.

No, we paid a lot of money
for this class trip,

and I want you to stay and enjoy it.

Tell Julie I'll keep an eye on her mom.

Got to go.

What the hell are you doing here?

I just came to talk to Adam.
I like your hair long.

This is harassment.
I will call the police.

I don't think so.

You'd have to tell them what happened
with me and your husband.

You don't want people knowing
about that.

In case you'd forgotten,
Adam wants nothing to do with you.

Oh? Didn't seem that way yesterday.

He didn't tell you I stopped by?

I hope he's not starting
to keep things from you again.

Here. I brought you a few things,
in case there is a tornado.

Wow. Tape, batteries, a radio.
How'd you know I'd need this stuff?

- An educated guess.
- Hey, actually, since you're here...

I was thinking that maybe it would be
a good idea to tell Orson about Mike's,

you know, drug problem.

Good. Because I already told him.

- You did? When?
- Last week.

I was afraid that Mike might
go to Orson for pills.

I'm sorry, so, Orson already knows
about Mike?

Did I do something wrong?

No, no, you didn't do anything wrong.
Thanks for the supplies.

I don't believe a word you say.

So you still don't think
I slept with Adam?

- Of course not.
- Oh, well, let me paint a picture for you,

me lying in his arms,
him wondering out loud

how he ended up marrying
such a cold, hard bitch.

Katherine, are you all right?
I couldn't help noticing...

Of course you couldn't.

And everything's fine. Thank you.

Hi, there. I don't mean to intrude,
but are you all right?

Not really, no.

Would you like a nice cup of tea?

The National Weather Service
has extended

the tornado watch
to the tri-county area.

Funnel clouds have been spotted

in the counties of Mansfield
and Webster...

I can't believe you're being so nice.
You don't even know me.

Well, I know Katherine.
And believe me,

you're not the only person
I've seen her reduce to tears.

- Did you see her spit on me?
- Yes. That was unfortunate.

- lf you need any anti-bacterial soap...
- No, I'm good.

So, why on earth would Katherine
treat you so dreadfully?

Oh, she's just mad because
her husband's in love with me.

Really?

I was one of his patients,
back in Chicago.

From the moment we met,
there was this intense passion.

- We tried to fight it, but we couldn't.
- Well, you're only human.

I know he's miserable without me.

Even though she tries to pretend
that they're happy.

I mean, you're their neighbour.
Do you think they're happy?

- Well, they seem content.
- Well, they're not.

- It was just an observation.
- Yeah, a stupid one.

Okay.

This has been lovely.

We really should do it again sometime.

You think I'm making this up?
We were lovers!

I can prove it! He has a snake
tattoo on his right shoulder.

I licked it.

Be that as it may,
I really think you should go now.

No one believes me!
She has you all brainwashed!

Sylvia, where are you going?

- Sylvia? You need to come out of there.
- Ask Adam! He'll tell you the truth!

Well, Adam is not here.
And there is a tornado coming.

And as you may have gleaned from
the batteries and bottled water,

that bathroom is where we are
planning on riding it out.

So, would you please be a dear
and come on out?

Go get Adam!

And open wide.

Orson, we need to talk.

- Susan? I'm with a patient.
- Yeah, I can see that.

Hi. I'm his neighbour. Cute shoes.

Why the hell would you give
Mike drugs?

Mrs Kowalsky, we're going to
step out for just a moment.

No need. I'll be quick.

Because I'm sure you have
a very good reason for giving Mike pills

when you know that he has
a drug problem.

So, what is your very good reason?

Okay, this may take a while.
You might want to spit.

Mike was having a lot of pain
with his shoulder.

Oh, of course, and you know all about
shoulder pain, being a dentist.

- I thought I was helping.
- By giving pills to an addict?

Does that sound helpful to you,
Mrs Kowalsky?

- Thank you! Finally, some sanity!
- Susan, you have to leave.

Fine. But you know, if I find out

that you have given Mike so much
as a breath mint, trust me,

there is not enough Novocain in
this office to numb the pain

I will inflict on you.

Hi, Miss Britt. Need some
bottled water before the storm hits?

- Well, thanks, Jeremy.
- Twenty bucks.

Hold it. You are price-gouging
right before a tornado?

- I was just trying to make some money.
- You really want to make some money?

Go hit up Gabrielle Solis. She hasn't
met a price tag she didn't like.

I already tried.
She and Mr Solis are moving.

- Moving?
- Yeah.

They're loading up their car
and everything.

They didn't tell you?

Well, they probably didn't want
a big, emotional scene.

Too bad.

What was I supposed to do, Mike,
leave them in your truck?

I'm not going to sit back
and watch you spin out of control.

Out of control?

Have I ever missed
a mortgage payment?

- What?
- Or disappeared for days on end?

Or ODed in an alley? No.
I go to work every day,

I help out around the house,
I take care of you and Julie.

- What's the problem?
- What's the problem?

Let's see. You lied to me, your drug
dealer almost dated my daughter,

you lied to me some more,

and then I find out that you hit up my
best friend's husband for more pills.

You're blowing this out of proportion!

And you're kind of yelling at me,
also a problem.

I'm sorry. I'm in pain.

You might think you have things
under control,

but they're only gonna get worse,
and with a baby on the way...

I'm sick of explaining myself. If I need
a pill now and then, I'll take one.

So where are they? I'm serious, Susan.
Give them to me!

- Forget it!
- Hey! Don't walk away from me!

- Susan!
- Let go of me!

And we are now
getting reports of two more tornadoes

touching down
outside Mount Pleasant.

We can confirm six dead
and more than 200 injured...

My wife needs to be seen immediately.

She's pregnant
and she fell down the stairs.

- Any bleeding?
- No.

- Cramping?
- I think I just twisted my ankle,

but I would like to get
checked out anyway.

Sure. But for non-emergency cases,
it's gonna be a long wait.

Well, she's pregnant!
Doesn't that make it an emergency?

Sir, I'm sorry.
You're just going to have to wait.

It's okay.

How could you not have told me
Sylvia was here?

- I was trying not to upset you.
- Well, you failed.

At least if you had warned me,

I wouldn't have been blind-sided
when she showed up on our front lawn!

I'm sorry. Look, I'll call the police,
I'll get a restraining order,

I'll do whatever it takes to get
this woman out of our lives.

- Bree, hello.
- Hi, Katherine.

Could I borrow Adam for a second?

I have a situation on my hands.

She's over there. First door on the left.
And please hurry.

What is she doing there
in the first place?

I saw her weeping. I wanted to help.

You wanted dirt.
And I'll bet she told you plenty.

I can't help having a sympathetic face.

Sylvia,
I need you to come out here, okay?

Adam?

- Is that you, darling?
- Don't call him that!

Katherine!
I'm not coming out if she's here.

I'm not leaving you alone
with my husband.

- Just come out! I'll get rid of her!
- Ladies...

So, what did she tell you?

- That she had an affair with Adam.
- Well, she didn't.

She was his patient.

A pathetic, Ionely woman.

One day, for no other reason than
sheer pity, he gave her a little kiss.

Sylvia took this to mean
that they were in love.

And when Adam told her otherwise,
she had a breakdown

and accused him of sexual assault.

Oh, my God. What did you do?

We settled out of court.
I wanted to fight it,

but Adam was afraid of losing
his licence.

Of course, we lost everything else.

Our home, our savings
and our friends.

So this is why you moved back
to Fairview?

It was supposed to be our fresh start.

So...

Now you know our dirty little secret.

Well, Katherine, for what it's worth,

I would have spit in her face, too.

What's that noise?

- Is that the tornado?
- Worse. It's the Scavos.

Hey, we're here!
- I know!

All right, guys, come on.
Stake out your places.

This is our spot!
We called it!

You can't call
a spot this soon!

Can so!

My wrist!

Lynette? I'm begging.

Oh, sorry. Kinda get used to it.
Come here, give that to Mama.

Hey, guys, come on now, knock it off!

Here you go. And first base,
second base, third base.

Sit! We're going to have
a nice quiet tornado watch

and nobody's gonna cause
any problems.

- Is there a cat here?
- Oh, yes, I brought Toby.

- Is something wrong?
- I didn't realise there'd be a cat.

- Tom's really allergic.
- It sets off my asthma.

Ida, is there any chance that we could
put little Toby upstairs?

- Upstairs?
- Yeah, he'd be very safe.

- We could put him in a closet.
- Sure.

Why don't we put Penny with him,
since it's safe?

- What?
- Toby is Ida's baby, Lynette.

No, Toby's an animal,
and my husband, a human being,

will get very sick if he stays down here,
so please put the cat upstairs.

Look, I invited Ida to come here.
You, I'm doing a favour for.

If you're not happy with the
accommodations, you're free to leave.

Hey, I'll just stay over here.
Maybe it won't get any worse.

No, that's ridiculous.

- Karen, come on.
- Sorry. The cat stays.

Knock yourself out.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm just worried about you.

How long are they gonna
keep us waiting?

Are you sure that's all it is?

Hey! Hey, we were here way before
these people!

Sir, they're seeing everyone on
an emergency basis.

This woman is haemorrhaging. Danny!
Can you take her in?

What, you gotta see blood before
you'll treat somebody?

My wife's pregnant
and she fell down a flight of stairs!

I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to ask
you to be patient.

These people are bleeding.
I can absolutely wait.

I'm just asking them
to take a look at you, okay?

Hell, you could've done it while you

were standing here
talking to me, right?

Sir, we'll get to your wife
as soon as we can.

- Now please take a seat.
- Just take a look at her!

- Get the hell off of me!
- Mike, stop!

I need security here now.

Hey, we need help here!

Doctor Ross, blood lab seven.

Doctor Ross, blood lab seven.

Hey. When are you gonna let me out
of these things?

When your wife's done
and you're ready to go home.

- The doctor said the baby's fine.
- Oh, thank God.

- Your ankle?
- Just a mild sprain.

- How are you doing?
- I've had better days.

I am so sorry.

It's going to be okay.

I talked to the doctor,

and they have a rehab facility
they work with.

Thanks, but I don't need rehab.

I can kick this myself.

I've done it before.

Well, you keep saying that,
and it just keeps getting worse.

Susan, look at me.

I'm handcuffed to a chair.
I think I've hit bottom here.

I will fix this. Just no rehab.

Mrs Delfino? The doctor asked me
to give you these, for the pain.

Oh, my God, are you kidding me?

I've kind of had a rough day here.

No.

Susan, I've just got to get through this.

No.

There's no tomorrow. It's now.
You will quit this now.

You will go to rehab or so help me,
I will leave you.

I will take this baby and I will leave you.

You win.

I'll go.

- Gabrielle?
- Excuse me?

Sorry, I'm in a rush.
My wife's alone with the kids,

and I have to get home before
this storm hits.

This is the information
Carlos asked for.

About what?

About the Cayman Island account.
Didn't he tell you I was coming?

Yeah, of course he did,
he said you'd be stopping by. Duh.

This is everything you need
to access the money.

I've washed my hands of this, so
whatever you do, don't lose that folder.

Got it?

Believe me,
I won't let it out of my sight.

All right.
Nice to finally meet you, Gabrielle.

You're just as pretty as Carlos
said you were.

Oh, no. I'm prettier.

Edie! What have you got there?

Oh, crap!

Residents are advised
to seek shelter at once.

Again, do not evacuate,

stay where you are
and seek shelter in a basement

or any windowless room...

- You okay?
- My throat is closing up.

- I think I gotta go upstairs.
- No, no, no.

You stay here.

- Edie, you thief! Open this door now!
- I've called the police!

They're on their way!
And they are going to Taser your ass!

Gabby?

Oh, good. You're home.

Lynette! What the hell did I tell you?

I'm not going to sit
and watch my husband suffocate.

Well, I don't want Ida to wake up
and find her cat missing.

Karen, after all our years of friendship,

how can you choose a cat
over my husband?

- You think we're friends?
- Of course.

Really? Do you ever stop by just to
say hi, or invite me for a cup of tea?

- Ida does.
- What are you talking about?

I had you over for lemonade last week.

And while I was drinking it, you went
to the store and I watched the kids.

Face it, the only time we're friends
is when you need something.

That is not true.
I genuinely care about you.

You mean like today,
when you came by to check on me?

Oh, that's right,
you only wanted a basement.

Damn it, Toby!

Hey, hold it, hold it!
You can't go out there!

That stupid cat is the only family
that Ida's got!

Now, this is what friends do!

Karen!

- Give me the damn folder, Edie!
- Not gonna happen!

It's worthless to you!

Oh! You and Carlos are screwed
without it, and that is worth a lot to me!

- Give me my money!
- Your money?

- Carlos embezzled it!
- Oh, now you're moral, all of a sudden?

You didn't care where the money
was coming from

when you thought Carlos was gonna
spend it on you!

Okay, I'm not unreasonable.

Cut me in for, say, 60%
and I'll go away.

How's that sound?

Hey! You! Give it to me!

- Give me that!
- No! Let go, Edie!

- No, you...
- Let go!

No! No! No!

What did you do?
What did you do, Edie?

Get in the house! Now!

Toby! Toby!

Karen!

- You've gotta get inside now!
- He's right there!

Damn it! I'm not going to let you die,
so don't make me drag you!

Oh, crap!

Hurry! Go!

Come on! Come on! Hurry!

Get in! Get in!

I have a crawl space.
I think we can both fit.

You just threw my money in a tornado!
I am not getting in there with you!

Fine! Then stay out here and die!

Move your ass!

Come on, Sylvia. Please open the door.
Sylvia?

Thank God you're here.
We need to get into the bathroom.

- We can't. There's a woman in there.
- Well, tell her to hurry it up.

No, no, she's barricaded herself
in there.

She's a patient of mine
who's had a little meltdown.

- Just give me five minutes.
- We don't have time.

There's a funnel cloud out there.

Sylvia, open the damn door!

Go to hell!

Quick! In here! In here! Come on.

Quickly.

Come on! Hurry up!

Here! Get in, get in! Get in!

Hang on! Hang on to this!

- Can I say something?
- What?

I'm sorry Carlos and I lied to you.

I know we hurt you.

And I wish it didn't happen
the way it did.

- And I just want you to know that.
- Why are you talking like that?

Well, I thought, just in case we...

Oh, no, you don't!
You just shut the hell up.

We're not doing
deathbed confessions here.

We're gonna get through this,

and I'm gonna go on hating you
for years to come.

- You really hate me?
- Yes.

No.

It's just that I really let myself
fall for him.

Which was stupid, because I always
knew that he'd go back to you.

Well, I'm still sorry, though.

I said, shut the hell up.

I think it's possible
Benjamin might need changing.

That went beyond the hypothetical
a good 10 minutes ago.

We're giving you shelter.
You could at least be gracious.

We wouldn't need shelter
if you hadn't dragged us over here.

Oh, so now it's my fault that that
lunatic commandeered our safe room?

If you hadn't been dying to know
our business,

- she wouldn't have gotten in there.
- Can we stop pointing fingers?

- This isn't Bree's fault.
- You're right.

Sorry.

But you can understand why I'm upset,

having that insane woman
back in our lives.

I can only imagine.
I had to listen to her babble for an hour.

What kind of things was she saying?

She said that she and Adam
were lovers,

and she could prove it because he had
a tattoo...

What?

She said he had a tattoo
on his shoulder, which I know isn't true,

because I've seen him at the pool,
and I would have remembered,

because tattooed people
make me very uncomfortable.

Did she say what kind of tattoo it was?

A snake? What's the difference?
He doesn't have one.

He did.

Back in Chicago.

He had it removed.

Oh... Sorry...

- Katherine...
- So, that's why we settled?

Why we lost everything?

I'm sorry, but you have to understand...

No, I do not.

Sorry.

Not here.

Not now.

Gabby! Change of plans!
We've got to get in the basement now!

Gabby? Damn it, where are you?

Where's Gabby?

I thought she was with you.
I don't know where she is.

I guess we'll have to wait
for her together.

Do you mind if I say something?

Gabby and I never planned
to get back together, Victor.

We tried to keep away from each other,
we really did.

But I don't know,

it's like we're two halves
of the same person or something.

And when we're apart,
we just aren't happy,

which is why we...

We never set out to hurt you, Victor.
And I'm sorry we did.

- Are you done?
- Yeah.

Come on, Carlos!

Get back in the house!
You could get hurt out here!

Adam! Hello?

Where is everyone?

Did you hear that?

Adam, I'm leaving!

This is your last chance
to come with me!

Or I'm going to tell everyone
exactly what happened!

Okay. You've made your choice!

Here I go!

It's here!

It was supposed to be
a beautiful day.

But then the winds came
and changed everything.

And not just the houses and the lawns.

Oh, my God.

The people had changed, too.

While the storm had raged,

each of them had learned something

about friendship

and forgiveness

and redemption.

And some had learned the hardest
lesson of all,

that life is always fragile,

and very often unfair.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Tom!

Help me! Help me! Tom!

My babies!