Desperate Housewives (2004–2012): Season 4, Episode 10 - Welcome to Kanagawa - full transcript

Previously on Desperate Housewives.

The accountant's
dropping off the papers

for my Cayman lsland account.

This is everything you need
to access the money.

Edie got an opportunity,

but lost it.

Mike...

You will go to rehab or so help me,
l will leave you.

- ...made a promise.
- l'll go.

l keep thinking
about what we covered up.

Katherine's aunt was determined
to reveal the truth.



And Victor

was a victim of the tornado

that brought devastation...

Oh, my God.

...to Wisteria Lane.

Once the tornado had passed,
it began.

A man gave his coat
to a stranger in need.

A woman shared her food
with those just passing by.

A teenager reunited a dog
with its worried owner.

These are the things that happen
in the wake of any great disaster.

People start to perform
small acts of kindness.

They do what they can to help.

All the while knowing,

it won't be enough.



Why is it taking so long?
They should be going faster.

The fire captain said
they have to go slowly.

They don't want debris
suddenly collapsing into the basement.

Has anyone heard from Gabby?

She went to the hospital with Carlos.

He was pretty banged up,
but they say he's gonna be okay.

Thank God.

Why can't we hear them?

lf my kids are alive,
they would be yelling.

- Tom would be yelling.
- Okay, Lynette, listen to me.

They are all going to be fine. l know it.

Okay.
You really, really, really think so?

Yes. Yes, l do. l do.

So l want you to go
over to those paramedics,

and l want you to let them
look at these cuts.

Because you don't want to be
all bloody

when they pull your kids out of there,
do you?

No. No, l guess not. Okay.

What are you doing?

What?

You don't know
if her kids are gonna be okay.

l'm just trying to comfort her.

By giving her false hope?

What do you suggest we do?

What you should be saying,
''Lynette, this could end badly.

''So you should start
preparing yourself for that now.''

Edie, if you say that to Lynette,
so help me, God, l will wring your neck.

And l will help her.

Tom and lda and the kids
are buried under that rubble.

l mean, what is it with you people?

Why aren't you willing
to face the facts?

'Cause we're hoping for a miracle.

A miracle?

Maybe, just maybe,
if we stop flapping our gums,

and we start asking God
to take care of our folks,

he might just help us out.

So you think a prayer circle
is going to help Lynette?

Once you get to my age,
you'll find it a lot easier

to believe that God
really does answer prayers.

So if you can just hang on
two more years...

- Don't!
- You know, maybe

a moment of silence
wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Hey, guys! We got someone!

Hi!

Come on.

Mom!

- Parker!
- Mom!

Mom!

Mom!

Oh, my God! Oh, thank you, thank you.

Hold on, hold on.

Come on, Tom.

Get more men, move that debris out!

Wait, wait.

- Yeah.
- Grab the arm, grab on! We got you.

- Straight ahead, sir. Go ahead.
- Right over there.

Thank you.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Where's lda?

Tom, where's lda?

Yes, in the wake of a great tragedy,

people do what they can to help.

All the while knowing,

it won't be enough.

The morning after the tornado,

the residents of Wisteria Lane
began to sort through the devastation

and slowly started picking up
the pieces of their lives.

Bob Hunter found part of his fountain
in the middle of the street.

Bree Hodge found her lawn mower
next to her coffee table.

And Kayla Scavo discovered
her music box in a tree.

Among

other things.

She had your address in her pocket,

but there was no other lD.

Did you know her?

Sort of.

Her name is Sylvia Green.

ls she local?

l knew her from Chicago. She was

visiting.

Okay, l guess that's all we need.

Would you like me to follow up with you
after we contact the family?

No.

So,

l guess this means it's over.

The fact that she is dead does not
change the fact that you slept with her.

l know it doesn't.

l made a terrible mistake,
and l am so sorry, Katherine.

l'm sure you are.

l want you out of my house. Tonight.

- You don't mean that.
- Yes, l do. lt's over.

As far as l'm concerned, you could be
lying on that slab right next to her.

Come on, lda.
You can watch us pack from up here.

Wow. The things you accumulate
in a lifetime, huh?

Yeah. Especially if you never
throw anything out.

So her niece and nephew are taking all
this stuff back to Nebraska?

Well, the stuff that'll sell on eBay.

l'm guessing the rest
will end up in a dumpster.

What's with all this baseball stuff?

There's a mitt and a jersey...
Was this her husband's?

No, that was lda's,
from her pro baseball days.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

Oh, you're serious?

lda played
in the All-American Girls League

during World War ll.
You didn't know that?

- No.
- She was a superstar.

Arm like a cannon.

People said she could throw
a pork chop past a hungry wolf.

lda?

l have trouble seeing her
as the lead-off hitter

for anything other than osteoporosis.

She made the only
unassisted triple play in league history.

Right here on Granville Field in 1944.

That's why she wants her ashes
scattered there.

How did l not know this?

Daddy said you were over here.
Can l help?

You realise we're cleaning, right?
We're not eating candy.

That's sweet, Parker,

but we've got everything under control
here if you want to go play.

No, l want to do something nice
for Mrs Greenberg.

She sort of saved my life.

What do you mean?

When the house started shaking

and Daddy was passed out
by his asthma,

Mrs Greenberg made us all
go under the stairs.

But that's not where they found her.

Yeah,

there wasn't enough room for her.
She said she'd be okay in the corner.

Parker, you want to help?

lda has some ice cream in the freezer

that needs eating before it goes bad.
Go on.

l know what you're thinking, but don't.

lf you'd been there, it wouldn't have
made a bit of difference.

Susan, we can't thank you enough.

Opening your home to us
is so generous.

lt's a horrible feeling to literally

not have a roof over your head.

That smoky, fleabag hotel
just wasn't safe for a newborn.

Please, this is what best friends do.

Right before their friendship ends.

Why did you agree to let her stay?

How do you say no
to someone in need?

That wasn't rhetorical.
Seriously, you got anything?

l know you feel guilty
because she let us stay with her once.

But don't you remember
how miserable we were?

Oh, yeah. Every cup needs a coaster.

Every coaster needs a doily.
Every doily needs daily laundering.

This woman is gonna
drive me out of my fricking...

Hey, roomies! You need help?

No. We've got it under control.

Oh, and, listen, Bob and Lee

introduced us
to this wonderful contractor,

so we won't be imposing for long.

lmposing? Who's imposing?
You can stay as long as you want.

l'm sorry, the words
came out of my mouth

before l knew what l was saying!

Then stop talking!
And don't be so nice.

Otherwise,
she'll just take the place over.

Hey, Susan, Orson likes to sleep
with the window open.

Do you mind if we
rearrange the furniture?

Sounds good to me!

Hello, Gabrielle.

Milton. Hi.

Nice turnout.

Victor was loved by a lot of people.

lt's going to be a very emotional day.

You seem remarkably composed.

No. No, l'm a mess.

You know, on the inside.
Where the mascara can't run.

l see.

The reading of the will is today.

ls it? l'd forgotten.

l thought you'd be curious
as to how much you'll inherit.

No. l'm not thinking
about money today,

l'm burying my husband.

Of course.

lt's just, l spoke to
the executor of the will,

and l have a ballpark figure

of what you'll be getting.

Well, l guess there's nothing
disrespectful about a ballpark figure.

You're not getting a dime.

Victor showed me the photographs
of you and your ex-husband.

You broke his heart.
You humiliated him.

So you'll inherit
exactly what you deserve.

Nothing.

Okay, l made a mistake. l'm sorry.

But Victor wasn't entirely blameless.
He ignored me, he used me politically,

oh, yeah, and he tried to kill Carlos.

So l think l'm entitled
to whatever he had.

Ah, there's the thing.

You married a man
from a very rich family.

The operative word being ''family.''
Everything's in my name. Always was.

The service is starting.

l think it's time for you to go.

Go?

You can't kick me out
of my husband's funeral.

l think it's appropriate,
given the circumstances.

Go to hell.

l'll be delivering the eulogy.

lf you're still in this pew
when l reach the pulpit,

l'm going to be telling
all of these people

that you are a cheating, lying whore.

See? l told you
it was going to be an emotional day.

Hello, boys.

Bob, Lee, l baked you some muffins

to thank you
for introducing me to Walter, here.

And, Walter,
l decided you're absolutely right.

Dark shingles are the way to go.

Why are you all staring at me?

l'm sorry, but l'm not gonna be able
to fix your house.

- What?
- l've just had some

bad news in my personal life.

Good heavens, l hope no one's died,

which is the only possible
excuse l'd accept.

No, it's not that. lt's just...

- l don't wanna get into it.
- Walter, l can't find a contractor now.

Everybody is booked for the next year.

- l'm sorry.
- Walter!

Walter, Walter, l'm begging you!
Please! l'm living like a vagabond

in a teenage girl's bedroom.

l'm sleeping under a poster
of Orlando Bloom. You can't leave me!

Yeah, well, sometimes people do that.

They just leave!

This is a nightmare! What is going on?

Walter went through a bad breakup

and today he found out that his
ex moved in with someone else.

Oh, for God's sakes.
Tell him to put on his big-boy pants

and find another girl!

Who says it's a girl?

- Walter's gay?
- Yes,

he can build homes and decorate them.
Sometimes God gives with both hands.

Well, then you just have to
fix him up with someone.

Give him back his will to work.

Yeah, about that.

Most of our friends are nines,

and Walter, we love him,
but, kind of a three.

And in the gay world,
three does not go into nine.

Well, we'll just have to find him
someone who's not good at gay math.

Well, l drove all the way out there
and l waited for hours

and then they wouldn't let me see him.

No, they just said that l should call you.

Listen, l know it's a 30-day rehab.

l'm not trying to break him out.
l'm just trying to see him.

You know what, could you just call me
when you know? Thank you.

Welcome to heaven.

Don't talk. l'm smelling.

What is that?

Duck a l'orange.
Bree says it's making a comeback.

And our oven is making its debut.

Oh, it gets better.

She did our laundry, too.

Smell my sock.

Oh, my God. l want to eat that.

She dusts, she irons.

And she does this magic trick.

No matter where
you throw your sweater,

within seconds, it's on a hanger.

This has just replaced your birth
as the best day of my life.

Hi, Susan. l hope you don't mind
that l made dinner.

l hope you don't mind
that l'm going to kiss you.

You're funny.

Now, l need you to be honest
about this recipe.

lt's a dry run for a small dinner party
l'm having tomorrow night,

again, if you don't mind.

Not at all! ln fact, if you want to
do a dry run for a Sunday brunch,

l'm there for you.

Dinner will be ready shortly. And Julie,

l fixed the hem
on that blue skirt of yours,

it's on your bed.

My hem is fixed?

She's like the mother l never had.
No offence.

None taken.

Hey. How you feeling?

Not so great.

They should give you
something for the pain.

They gave me this button
that l can press,

but l'm trying not to use it,

'cause the drugs
make me feel a little too mellow.

Was the funeral sad?

Tragic.

l found out everything Victor had
is in Milton's name.

And he told his father about us,
so l'm not getting a penny.

Wow.

Well, it's a good thing you hooked up
with another rich guy.

Yeah...

Gabby, you sound weird.

Why do you sound so weird?

Gabby?

Remember that day

when Al was going to
drop off the account information?

Oh, my God. He didn't?

No, no, he did. lt's just,

remember how windy it was that day?

No, no, no. That was the only copy!

l know.

But Edie was trying to steal
the papers from me,

and we got into this fight,
and then the tornado

just took them away.

They're gone?

Kind of.

What is that sound?

l'm texting someone.

Gabby, that account was our future.
What are we gonna do now?

Carlos, just calm down, okay?

l'm sure Al has an access code
or a copy or some super-nerd way

to get back into the account, okay?
l know he can fix this.

Yeah.

Yeah, he can fix it.

Okay. All right.

You look very tired,
so l'm just gonna go.

But l'm warning you, Gabby, if we don't
find those papers, so help me, l'm...

Hi. l'm a friend of Al's,
and l was wondering if l could see him.

Of course. Please come in.

Thanks.

Right this way.

Oh, Al.

Thanks again for your help.

Well, we'd do anything for your aunt.

l hope you know
what an amazing woman she was.

Hey, did you guys happen to find
a pearl necklace?

lt's the only valuable thing
Aunt lda owned.

Well, actually, l have it.

Yeah, she promised it to me
if she kicked the bucket first.

Really? ln writing?

l'll be right back.

All right, let's hit the road.

What about the rest of these boxes?

That's junk.
You can just give them away.

Hey, listen, is there a good place
we can grab a bite on the way out?

Well, there's a great diner
right near Granville Field.

lsn't that out of the way?

Yeah, but aren't you stopping there
anyway to spread your aunt's ashes?

We're kind of pressed for time.

Yeah. We thought we'd just put her
in the family plot back in Omaha.

You can't do that.

lda wanted her ashes
scattered at the field.

Yeah, l know, but that's kind of crazy.
Don't you think?

lt doesn't matter.

She was an amazing woman.
You should respect her wishes.

- We should get going.
- Yeah.

Hey! lf you don't have time to do it,
l will.

You know, you're not family.
So l think that would be inappropriate.

Look, you're taking her pearls.

The least you can do
is honour her wishes.

Okay, at the risk of being bitchy,

this is none of your business.

- So could you please just drop it?
- Fine.

And for what it's worth,
you passed bitchy 10 minutes ago.

Carter, get the urn.
l want to get out of here.

Wait. You'll never find it.

l'll get it for you.

By the way,
l'm staying at lda's house for a while,

since, you know,
my house is a pile of rubble.

That's so sad.

You've got a week.

Here you go.

Thanks.

Just put it in the cup holder.

Excuse me, are you Al's wife?

l'm Gabrielle Lang.

You're the mayor's wife.
Of course l recognise you.

So, l was shocked to hear about Al.

l can't remember the last time
l was so devastated.

Didn't you just bury your husband
yesterday?

That sucked, too.

So, what happened to Al?

He was driving home,
trying to beat the storm,

and he ran into a downed power line,
and his car burst into flames.

Oh, sweetie, don't.

l want you to remember Al like l do.

At his desk with a big smile on his face,

surrounded by all his files.

By the way, where are those files?

l cleared out his office.

l bet that was hard.

- So, where'd you put them?
- ln the garage.

Which is?

ln the back.

Well, look at me,
monopolising the widow.

You go mingle.
l'm gonna get you a cracker.

Oh, crap!

Why, God?
Why do people have to die?

Why, God, why? Why, why, why?

Thank you so much for letting us
take over your dining room.

Please, thank you for
making us dinner.

You will be sending up dessert later?

Sure. Just leave your trays in the hall

when you're ready.

Puff pastry?

Thank you.

Here is a nice 12-year-old
Scotch to wash that down with.

Look, it's nice of you
to invite me for dinner.

But if you're hoping to change my mind

about doing your roof,
l'm just, l'm really not up to it.

No, no, no, Walter,
we just heard about your situation

and thought you could use
a little company, that's all.

Yes, and a nice home-cooked meal.

Trust me, there are absolutely
no tricks up our sleeve.

l notice there are four place settings.
ls somebody joining us?

All right, l'm here.
What was so important?

What's going on?

l'm moving out.

A little weird, staying in the guest room
of my own house.

But l thought you and Mom were trying
to work stuff out?

We are.

Just, your mom
thought it might be easier

if we gave ourselves a little distance.

Well, then, why doesn't she move out?

- Dylan...
- l'm serious!

You can't leave me here alone with her.
l'll go crazy.

Hey. Come on, we're gonna see
each other all the time.

Why does she always have to win?

Yeah, l'm thinking of
starting my trip in Paris.

Todd and l talked about going there,
but now l'm thinking of doing it myself.

Walter recently split up with his life
partner, Todd. They were gay.

Small world, huh?

How's it small, exactly?

Andrew is also an out
and proud homosexual.

He's here, he's queer,
and we're used to it.

Since when?

You know what else
you two have in common?

A love of boots.
Andrew has some beautiful boots.

l can only imagine the fun you two
would have in a boot shop.

Mom, l'm gonna take these bowls
to the kitchen.

Thanks, dear.

With you.

- What are you doing?
- l'm just trying to stay out of the way

of all those sparks that are flying.

Sparks? The man's twice my age.

Yes, but he's also...

He's got a great sense of...

Okay, do you know how hard it is
to get a good contractor?

Oh, my God.

And poor Walter
just had his heart broken.

So if it takes you being nice to him
to get our house fixed, then...

You're pimping me out for a new roof?

And windows!

And l am not ''pimping you out.''

l'm simply asking you
to show some kindness

to a lonely man
who happens to be an excellent roofer.

Look. lf, by ''kindness,''
you mean ''sex''...

Watch your mouth!

l would never suggest that.

You can raise a man's hopes
without satisfying them.

l've done it all my life!

Andrew, l have got to get
back into my house,

and you're my only hope.

Fine. For you, l will flirt, l will flatter
and l will charm.

Bless you.

And in exchange,
l expect a 60-inch flat-screen TV.

Fine. And if you can get him

to come in on time and under budget,
l'll throw in surround sound.

No! That Walter guy
needs to stay miserable.

Because if he's not, he'll fix her roof,
and then she'll leave us!

Mom, we always knew
this couldn't last forever.

And she'll still be here
another week or two.

That is not enough time.
She just started stencilling the kitchen.

And l didn't want to tell you this,
but there is talk of an herb garden.

l've got to stop her.

- How?
- l don't know.

But l've had a taste
of ironed pillowcases

and l am not going back.

Oh, Walter, you've got a little...
Right there.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Hey, everybody. l'm sorry to interrupt,

but the smell of that apple pie
just made my mouth water.

Say no more.
One slice coming right up.

Susan Delfino, this is Walter Bierlich.

This is Susan's house.
She's kind enough to take us in.

Hi. How are you?

All righty, here you go.

Thanks.

You're going to eat that here?

l'm just going to visit for a while.

So, Andrew! We miss you around here.

But l bet you love
having your own place.

Yeah, it's cool.

Of course, it does get lonely.

lt'd be nice to have
someone stop by once in a while.

Well, you'll reel somebody in.

You always do.

You should've seen
his last boyfriend, Justin.

He was so hot!

You really had a thing for the young,
ripped muscle boys, huh?

He did at one time,

but Andrew's outgrown that.

He realised the folly
of being so shallow.

Exactly. And now,

his tastes have gone
to the more mature, cultured types.

Like Walter, here.

This is a fix-up?

Well, l just, it never would have
occurred to me, you know,

because of the vast age difference.

But, hell, why not? Life is short.
Certainly shorter for Walter.

Susan!

No, don't get me wrong.
l mean, l think it's great.

You should grab love
wherever you can find it.

Who cares if your friends think
that you're paying for it?

So why don't you take
this piece of pie upstairs to Julie?

No, she's right. That's exactly
what my friends would think.

Well, then you need new friends.

Hey, listen, you know what?
You seem like a nice guy,

and it would be great to parade you
in front of my ex,

but then l'd be using you.

Well, he doesn't mind!

No. Parade me.

He's got a mesh tank top
that would bring your ex to tears.

Yeah, well, you know,
as tempting as that sounds,

you know,
l'm just not ready to date, so...

Thank you so much for the dinner.

Walter, wait!

Well, l guess
l'll just bring this pie up to Julie.

You.

Sit.

So, is someone meeting us here,
or what?

Well, here's the thing.
l called the general manager

to ask if we could scatter
the ashes here,

and he said, ''Absolutely not.''

So, how're we getting in?

- Oh, Lynette.
- Hey, you've abetted. Might as well aid.

Leave us.

Okay, l know that it sounds selfish,

but l did what l did
because l want you to stay.

Why?
l thought you'd want your house back.

Well, yeah. Sure, someday.

But right now,
l just love having you take care of me.

All the cooking and the cleaning
and the alphabetising.

lt's helping me feel
like l'm not just about to fall apart.

- Sweetie, you're okay.
- No.

l'm pregnant
and my husband's in rehab

and the only reason l seem sane
is because you're here,

making my house feel like a home.

This is a conversation
that could benefit

from some homemade
chocolate chip cookies.

Can l have milk, too?

l'll be right back.

Do you maybe wanna
say something first?

Yeah, l guess so.

''Do not stand at my grave and weep

''l am not there, l do not sleep

''l am a thousand winds that blow
l am the diamond glints of snow

''l am the sunlight on ripened grain

''l am the gentle autumn's rain

''Do not stand at my grave and cry

''l am not there, l did not die''

That was lovely.

Let's dump her.
And try not to stand downwind.

- She played third base, right?
- Right.

Oh, my goodness.

Wait! Sorry. Shortstop.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

You know, it was third.

Damn it, Karen! l'm running out of lda!

Okay, don't move.

Stay right where you are
and show me your hands.

Okay, split up
and l'll meet you back at the car. Go!

Hey, hey! Wait there!

Lady! Come back here!

Come on.

Run, Jane Doe! Run!

Just grab her.

Yeah, l got her.

- Come on.
- Come on.

Come on.

So when l finally came clean,
his wife told me

she shredded anything
that had to do with offshore accounts.

She was protecting Al.

So, we're broke.

l'm so sorry, honey.

l know this is bad,
but we have each other.

We'll get married again,
and everything will be fine.

For richer or for poorer, right?

ln sickness and in health.

The whole nine yards.

l'm gonna go down to the cafeteria
and get us a couple ginger ales

to toast our future.

Hey, Doctor, he's looking better
and better every day.

Keep up the good work.

You haven't told her yet, have you?

l'm working on it.

Carlos, l know you're scared,

but give her some credit.

She's not gonna leave you
because you lost your sight.

You don't know Gabby.

Thank God those cops
let us off with a warning.

l was this close to my third strike.

l'm just glad we gave lda
what she wanted.

lt's a beautiful thing you did.

Then why don't l feel better?

l don't know. Why don't you?

Because it wasn't enough.

Not compared
with what she did for me.

She saved my kids.

She's this amazing woman, and l
never bothered to get to know her.

So, yeah, l sprinkled her ashes.

But it would have been nice
to do something before she was ashes.

That's a lesson
we all got to learn over and over.

Appreciate people
while we still got them.

Yep.

Third strike? What were the first two?

lt's a long story

that requires
a pitcher of beer and a dark bar.

l got time for that.

What are you still doing here?
l thought you found a motel room.

l did.

But l wanted to set something straight
before l go.

l'm not leaving
because you want me to.

l'm leaving
because l'm walking out on you.

ls that how we're gonna play this?
Fine, whatever. You're leaving me.

l am. And here's why.

You blamed
what happened on your ex-husband.

And l believed you.
You told me it was all his fault.

And now l find out it was yours.

We're about even
in the betrayal department now.

ln fact,

l think you win.

It had been seven days since
a tornado devastated Wisteria Lane,

and the residents continued
to pick up the pieces of their lives.

Some salvaged precious friendships.

Some uncovered colourful histories.

Others found challenges
they hadn't expected.

And then,

there was one girl

who stumbled upon the truth
she'd long been searching for,

only to wish she hadn't.