Desperate Housewives (2004–2012): Season 3, Episode 8 - Children and Art - full transcript

[Mary Alice] Previously on
Desperate Housewives:

The new neighbor...

- He's cute.
- He's a bachelor.

... became a hero...

... in a crisis that brought
Julie and Austin together,

while Carlos and Gabby broke apart.

I had a career and a future,
but I gave it all up for you.

- And what did I get in return?
- Hey!

[Mary Alice] The police assembled
their pieces of evidence.

- Your number was written on her hand.
- I can't help you.

No memory, huh? That's convenient.



[Mary Alice] Karen McCluskey had
always believed in helping others,

whether they wanted her help or not.

- What's all this?
- You know how you never got around

to painting your garage door?
Well, it's done.

Hope you like blue.

- Baxter. You found him.
- Yeah, and I got him neutered, too.

I figured you wouldn't want
any more strays around here.

- Karen.
- Hi, Alberta.

I took these down for you since,
you know, Christmas was six months ago.

[Mary Alice] Yes,
Mrs. McCluskey's helping hand

was known throughout Wisteria Lane.

But on this day
it was about to get slapped.

- What the hell are you doing?
- [gasps]

Jeez, Edie, you scared me.
What're you doing?



Getting Mike's house ready. He
comes back from the hospital tomorrow.

Since when do you have a key
to his garage?

He gave me one,
in case of an emergency.

Don't lie to me, prune.

Fine. I found it under his mat.
I'm not doing anything wrong.

I come over once a week and start his
mower so the engine doesn't get rusty.

And do you mow your lawn with it, too?

What's the big deal?
I'm doing him a favor.

Well, he doesn't need
any favors from you.

I'm gonna go through Mike's house
room by room,

and if I find one paper clip missing,
I'm calling the cops.

Funny you should talk
about stuff that's missing.

I found those pictures
of Mike and Susan you threw out.

- Pictures?
- Oh, don't act for me.

I know Mike's been having
troubles with his memory.

My guess,
you don't want him to remember

how crazy he was
about his old girlfriend.

[chuckles] I don't need to resort
to deception to land a man.

Oh, Edie? I saved the pictures.

And I can show them to Mike
any time I like.

[Mary Alice] Yes, Karen McCluskey
believed in helping others.

Where are you going with this?

Which she felt gave her the right...

... to help herself.

Remember to be polite. Smile.

[Mary Alice] Each year,
as part of their fundraising drive,

the Fairview Adventure Scouts
would award a shiny new bike

to whoever sold
the most magazine subscriptions.

And each Scout would set out,

utterly convinced
the prize would be hers.

That's the beauty of youth.

Little girls believe
anything is possible.

That is, until they grow up
and get divorced.

Hi. What if I told you there is a way
you could help children

while also reading your favorite
magazines at a reduced price?

- Would you like to hear more?
- Sure. Knock yourself out.

Wise choice.

For the lady of the house
we offer Redbook, Glamour,

- Vog-you.
- I think you mean Vogue, sweetie.

- You sure?
- I should know. I was on the cover.

No way.

Uh, way.

[gasps]

See the coat I'm wearing in this shot?
That's genuine ocelot fur. [laughs]

Although the photographer
was the real animal,

if you know what I'm saying.
[chuckles]

Which I hope you don't.

And don't ever do drugs, OK?

Being a model must be so amazing.

Why did you stop?

Well, I fell in love,
got married and moved to the suburbs

for the whole fairy tale,
happy ending thing.

That was a crock.

So, you going back to modeling?

No. No, no, no, no, no. [chuckles]

Why not? What else are you gonna do?

You're going back to modeling?
This is so sudden.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm gonna fly to New York,

meet with my old agent,
and take it from there.

Come on, you guys.

This is exciting. Be happy for me.

Oh, we are.
We're just gonna miss you, that's all.

Now that my divorce is final, I need
a reason to wake up in the morning.

I have this hole in my life
that can't be filled by shopping.

That's right. I said it.

Oh, my gosh, Lynette.

I'll get the kids.
They're dying to see you.

- OK. Hey!
- Hey.

Oh, my gosh.
You didn't have to do this!

- Hi.
- You look great.

Apparently taking a.38 slug
to the shoulder agrees with you.

Yeah. Um, listen, about that,
the kids don't know what happened.

- They don't?
- They're a little young to deal with

their mother getting shot. I told them
Kayla is staying with her grandmother

and I made up a story
about how I got hurt.

- [boy] Hey, Mom!
- Here they are.

Hey. Hello.
Oh, this side. Hi.

Hello! [kisses]

I can't believe
you got in a fight with a hobo.

Yeah. Let's see how well you do
on a morphine drip.

Mommy, come inside. We helped
Mrs. McCluskey make your favorite lunch.

Fantastic. Lead the way. I'm coming in.

- Hurry up. I'm hungry.
- Let's go, let's go.

There she is.
Hi, bunny, bunny.

Hey. Why don't you go inside
and get the party started? I've gotta...

Hi, bunny. I'll be right there.

- Hey.
- Hey!

Lynette, you're home.

- Yeah.
- How are you doing?

I'm good. I just...

How do I thank the man
who saved my life?

You don't have to say anything.

I'm gonna make you a cake.

[chuckles]

- A cake?
- Yeah.

I never make cakes. This is huge.

In that case, thanks.

[sniffles, sighs]

Yeah, I'm gonna make you a cake!

[Jingle Bells playing]

Christmas carols?
It's not even Thanksgiving.

I'm starting my cards early this year.

It puts me in the mood
to spread holiday cheer.

And with this pack of lies
in this family newsletter,

- she spreads holiday denial.
- Nobody wants the truth at Christmas.

- Well said, darling.
- Would you put on another CD?

Something with sleigh bells.

Oh, by the way, Orson,

I need your mother's address
at the nursing home.

Oh. Well, I appreciate the thought,
but you needn't send her a card.

Don't be silly. I'm sending one
to the man who reads our gas meter.

- I can send one to your mother.
- She's senile.

- She'll try to dunk it in her coffee.
- All the more reason to send one.

Let the nurses know that
she has family at home who loves her,

and who could drop by at any minute
and slap them with a lawsuit.

Bree, I hear what you're saying.

Orson, what's the big deal?
It's just an address.

Fine. I'll get my book.

The home is somewhere over in Lakeview.

Lakeview? You gave me the impression
that she was back east.

That's because I wanted
to avoid this conversation.

If she's only 30 minutes away,
why haven't you been visiting her?

OK, the truth is,
it breaks my heart to see her now.

I want to remember her as she was.

- But, Orson...
- Bree!

I refuse to sit in a room that
smells of disinfectant and lime Jell-O

making small talk with a woman
who doesn't remember me.

Now let it go, damn it.

[Sleigh Ride playing]

But, by all means, do send a card.

The elves will tickle her.

- Well, shall we?
- Wait.

Julie's gonna know we
came home early to check up on her.

I don't want her to think
I'm overprotective and clingy.

The girl was held hostage.
It's natural you're gonna be clingy.

Yeah, it's been a week.
I'm getting on her nerves.

How about this? We came home early
because we hated the restaurant.

The service was dreadful.
The lobster was inedible.

OK.

Wait. If we hated the restaurant,
then why are we bringing home food?

Good point.

No, no, wait, wait! Are you kidding?

That's lobster. OK.
I thought the restaurant was fantastic.

You were the fussy snob
who was impossible to please.

Why do I have to be the fussy snob?

- Because you're British.
- Fine.

I trust you'll make it up to me later
by doing the things a gentleman expects

- when he's sprung for lobster.
- Hmm.

[both laugh]

[chuckling]

I'm not getting any tonight, am I?

- You're supposed to be having dinner.
- It's my fault.

- I found the restaurant to be...
- Oh, let it go.

We came home because I was worried
about you. And with good reason!

- You put on your shirt and get out!
- But I didn't bring a shirt.

- See, I was out running...
- Who cares? Go!

How could you? If Austin hadn't been in
that supermarket, I might not be here.

I am grateful, but I found a way to say
thank you without taking my top off.

A couple buttons came undone.
Not like my boobs were out.

OK. Well, it's, uh, it's getting late.
And I really...

No, Ian, am I overreacting here?

I can understand
on the heels of a crisis,

two people might bond
and find themselves...

- You're a very naughty girl!
- Julie.

That boy drinks, he steals, and now
I find him mauling you on my couch.

That's it. I forbid you to see him.

You can't do that.
I choose who I date.

Yeah? Well, I choose to ground you.
Two weeks, baby.

I'll see him at school.

- You won't. I'll homeschool.
- You're gonna teach me trig?

- You can't balance your checkbook.
- You'll be poorly educated.

You won't get into college,
you'll work for minimum wage.

All because of that boy!
I hope you're happy!

Mom, I like this guy.

I'm sorry if it makes you unhappy,
but I'm going to keep seeing him.

Ta-da!

Doesn't the place look great?
I came in and straightened up.

I wanted everything
to look nice for you.

Are you OK?

Yeah. Yeah, it's just that...

...I'm home,
but it doesn't really feel like home.

It will. Give it time.

The important thing is
that you're back from the hospital.

And every day you're getting better.

Hey, the worst's behind you.

I need the Delfino search warrant.

Not gonna get it without probable cause.

Guy's phone number
was written on a dead girl's hand.

- The judge is gonna need more.
- Thought you might say that.

Here's Monique Poulier's lab work.

The infrared spectroscopy matched
paint fragments in the head wound

to the proximal line of pipe wrenches.

They're high-end,
only used by professional plumbers.

And guess what
our boy Delfino does for a living?

I'll see what I can do.

What do you mean you can't shoot her?
If you can airbrush her acne,

you can airbrush the track marks.

Now, don't call me again
unless she OD's.

- Gabrielle, ma petite fille.
- [both air kiss]

- Sit.
- You look amazing.

- Younger than ever.
- It's my new derma filler.

It's banned here, so my assistant
smuggles it in from Brazil.

Isn't it fun?
I have my own drug mule.

That's great. [chuckles]

Well, I have some fun news of my own.

- I'm ready to model again.
- Really? Oh.

The last time we spoke
you couldn't wait to quit.

You were giving it all up for love.
What happened to Prince Charming?

- Divorce. [chuckles]
- Oh, single again.

Isn't that ironic, since I'm the one
you called... Oh, how did you put it?

A career-obsessed lesbo who would
die alone and be eaten by her cats.

[chuckles]

- Did I say that?
- Water under the bridge.

I thought it was funny.

It's even funnier now.

Look, Marcella, I'm back.

And we made such a great team before.
I think we can be again.

I don't know.
Things are different now.

You're not gonna be able
to jump back in where you left off.

Well, I just want to work.

Boy, I'm still not sure.

You know what might help?

- If you groveled.
- Are you serious?

I can't tell, because your face
doesn't move anymore.

No, I'm joking.
Welcome back, darling.

Hi.

Thank you.

Well, hello, there.

How pretty you look today.

It's wonderful that you're up and about.

You must be enjoying
these colorful balloons. [laughs]

Why are you talking to me
like I'm a moron?

Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry.

The nurse pointed me over here.
I'm looking for Gloria Hodge.

I'm Gloria Hodge.

Who might you be?

I must say, I'm surprised
at how lucid you are.

Orson led me to believe...

That I was in
the final stages of dementia. No.

I'm afraid that's just
wishful thinking on his part.

Well, how can he feel that way?
You're his mother.

I wouldn't judge him too harshly.
Ours is a...

...complicated relationship.

There is love, to be sure, but we have
a way of disappointing each other.

Well, how does he disappoint you?

He's cold, rigid,

and... and utterly incapable
of letting go of the past.

And how do you disappoint him?

I refuse to die.

[both chuckle]

Yes, I see.

Well, surely this rift
isn't irreparable.

Do you know how people in nursing homes
spend their days, Bree?

They think about the past.

And all the things they'd do differently
if they had the chance.

Please tell Orson that I'm sorry.

And in spite of everything,
I still love him.

Well, I have a better idea.
Why don't you tell him yourself?

That would be great.
I really appreciate it.

OK. Thank you.

What did Ed say?
When do you go back to work?

He said take as much time
as I want with pay.

- [woman] How was your day?
- You should get gunned down more often.

- Hey, there they are.
- Hey, guys.

- Hello.
- How was school? Doing well?

Mommy, were you shot?

Shot? Where did you hear that?

Jordan Blackwelder.

Oh... The same creep who
tried to ruin Santa Claus.

And he said the same
crazy lady that shot you,

killed Auntie Nora dead.
It was on the news and everything.

Listen, kids. I am sorry.
We shouldn't have lied.

But sometimes parents want
to protect kids from scary things.

And, look, the good news is,
Mommy's fine now.

And we'll all see Auntie Nora
again in heaven.

Or wherever.

- Did they let you keep the bullet?
- No. I'm afraid not.

That blows.
We wanted to bring it for show and tell.

Hey, sweetheart, you OK?

What if the crazy lady comes back?

She won't.

- How do you know?
- Well,

because she's up in heaven
with Auntie Nora.

Or wherever.

[engine revs, idling]

Julie Mayer, you get back here!

You're grounded, remember?

[groans]

- Edie Britt, I want to talk to you.
- [groans]

I just survived a hostage situation.
Haven't I suffered enough for one week?

You keep your nephew away
from my daughter or else.

Look, I don't like it, either.

But the harder we try to keep them apart
the more they'll fight to be together.

- Just let it run its course.
- Are you crazy?

If we don't do something
those two could end up having sex!

- Could?
- Oh, my God.

- You don't...
- Let me put it this way.

I've got a box of condoms in my dresser.

Eleven are gone.
I can only account for eight of them.

- How can you be so calm about this?
- [door opens]

- [Mike] Edie?
- Yeah.

Can you help me with this tie?

Oh.

- Hey.
- Mike.

- You're out of the hospital.
- [Edie] Yeah.

He's home. In fact, we're gonna
go out and celebrate tonight.

I'll be with you in one sec, OK, babe?

Since you asked,

I'm calm because I know if two people
are meant to be together,

there's nothing anyone can do about it.

OK. I should be back at around 6:00.

They can have one snack.
Try and push apples.

But if they threaten violence, I have
an emergency candy bar under the sink.

- Not anymore, you don't.
- Oh, jeez.

Mommy, where are you going?

- To the market.
- No.

Hey, sweetie, it's a different market.

- You're gonna get shot again.
- No, I won't.

Lots of mommies go to the store
every day and they're fine.

- It's really not a scary place.
- You went to the store and got shot.

And Auntie Nora died.

I'm only gonna be in there
ten minutes. I promise.

Can't she go?

Fine, I'll go.

Thanks.

You don't give a hoot
if I get shot, do you, kid?

[door opens and closes]

[indistinct chatter]

Oh!

You must be Tanya. I'm Gabrielle.

We're gonna be co-models today.

Now, I don't know if you've ever done
one of these big shoots before,

but don't be nervous.
Dirkin and I are old friends.

He's a sweetheart.
Now, just remember, he's the king.

Do exactly what he says
and you'll be fine.

I've been modeling for two years.

I've done six magazine covers,
and I'm sleeping with Dirkin.

I guess you're all set, then.

You've got some wardrobe choices.

Hey. [gasps] Wow!

Oh!

I want to be buried in this dress.

This is for Tanya.
The mom's stuff is at the end.

Mom?

[man] OK, love,
let's get the blood pumping!

The concept is
"lock up your daughters."

OK, get to work, everybody.

Tanya, I want you
to hover down here on the lawn,

looking absolutely delicious.
Thank you very much.

And up here on the porch,
Mom and Dad looking all scandalized.

- Excuse me, Dirkin?
- Yes, love?

It's Gabby. [chuckling]

Gabrielle Marquez.
You shot me in Milan, remember?

Yes. Yes! Lovely to see you again.
Did you have a question, then?

I do. Um...

Aren't you a little worried
that I'm gonna pull focus?

I mean, it's a little confusing.

People are gonna see Tanya,
then they're gonna see that guy.

And they're gonna wonder who I am.

- You're the Mom.
- Yeah... Ha!

People aren't gonna buy that.
Here's what I was thinking.

I slap on one of those gowns.

I play Tanya's big sister, home
from college to raise a little hell.

And we're gonna cram all that
on a subtitle, are we?

I'm sorry.
It's just this outfit is hideous.

Just make it work.

Fine. I just need a moment
to get into character.

Gabrielle, what's the hold up?
We've got to get moving here.

Ready, ready.

- What's that?
- Oh, I made it work.

I'm hot mom.

Get me her agent.

Before we begin, would either of you
like some cookies, milk, lemonade?

Mom, why are we here?

Ah. Cutting to the chase. I like it.

[car approaching]

I have a confession to make.

This whole dating drama
has been keeping me up at night.

And I hate being the bitchy, naggy mom.

When it comes to parenting, I am much
more comfortable playing the good cop.

You see where I'm going with this, kids?

No.

Oh. Well, in that case...

...meet the bad cop.

[door opens]

- Daddy.
- Hi, baby girl.

- Is that the guy?
- Yep.

Get him.

This is so unfair.

Look, you defied my wishes,
you broke my rules.

Did you think I was
just gonna throw in the towel?

Face it. I outsmarted you.

- [groans]
- [sighs]

- Who's Ian?
- What?

You're dating
some British guy named Ian.

How did that come up?

I'm sorry. I didn't realize
it was a big secret.

You know, when you said it was true love
with you and the plumber,

I was a good guy. I stepped aside.
And now you're on to someone else.

Big picture, Karl.
His hand up our daughter's shirt.

- Don't change the subject.
- That is the subject.

- How serious is it with this Ian guy?
- I don't know. It's complicated.

Yeah, he's kind of married.

- He's what?
- It's not what you think.

Uh... In her defense,
his wife is in a coma.

All right, that's it.
I forbid you to see this guy.

What? No.
I don't take orders from you.

Mom has a point. You can't tell
a woman who she can and can't date.

- It's her choice.
- Exactly. Thank you. Wait, no.

That does not apply to you.

You know, if you don't care
about my feelings,

- I don't know what I'm doing here.
- Your feelings? My God.

You are the worst bad cop ever.

- [door slams]
- [groans]

Go to your room.

Not you.

- Get back, you're under arrest.
- No, I'm not. Aah!

You've been
reading comic books for awhile.

Don't you want to go and play?

- No. I want to stay with you.
- Yeah?

OK.

- [drill whirring]
- Hey, Art.

- Oh, hey. How are you?
- Good.

Um, listen, as if saving my life wasn't
enough, I have a little favor to ask.

- Sure. What's up?
- My kids are having a hard time.

They're freaked out
by that whole supermarket thing.

You're my hostage.
Keep moving or I'll blow your face off.

OK, it's my turn.
Give me the gun.

- Not so much them.
- Right.

But my other son, Parker.

So... back to the favor.

Hey, Parker.

I want you to meet our new neighbor Art.
He lives in the house across the street.

His sister has the cool wheelchair
with the joystick.

- Hey, there, Parker.
- Hi.

In the daytime Art coaches
swimming at the rec center.

But... Please,
can I tell Parker? Please?

And compromise my secret identity?
No way, Mrs. Scavo. No way.

- Secret identity?
- Oh, great.

Now the cat's out of the bag.
We might as well tell him.

It's OK. You can trust him, really.

Art is the one who saved me
at the supermarket.

He's sort of a superhero.

Give me a break.

It's true.

All right. If you're a superhero,
what's your name?

I'm...

...Protector Man.

Because I protect people from bad guys.

Hmm.

You don't believe me, do you?

OK.

I really shouldn't do this, but...

- [gasps]
- Wow. Did you really save my mom?

I really did.

He really did.

That's why you don't have to worry.
That's Protector Man's job.

Your job is to run
and play and have fun.

OK?

OK.

OK.

Oh. My cousin went to Purdue.

[police radio chatter]

What the hell?

Delfino.

Nice to see you up and about.

- Here's our search warrant.
- Search warrant? Let me see that.

How are we doing?

We couldn't find the toolbox.

The man's a plumber. Keep looking.

- Sir, I can't find the thing.
- You tried...

[man] Let's go.
Let's get it back to one.

- You come with me.
- Marcella!

I don't know what they told you, but
all I'm asking for is a costume change.

You don't get to pull diva crap.

Tanya gets away with it
because she's a star. You are nothing.

Where do you get off
talking to me like that?

I shot 36 covers by the time I was 20.

Well, you're 30 now.

When you make that face you look 35.

Do you know how many photographers
would die to work with me again?

Yeah. Zero.

I had to call in major favors
just to get you this job.

- I don't believe that.
- Know what I don't believe?

You gave up a brilliant career
to play house in the suburbs.

The minute it falls apart you come back
expecting a homecoming parade.

Well, guess what, sweetie?
We've moved on.

Now, get your polyester ass over there
and act like the pro you used to be.

[Dirkin] Beautiful, Tanya.
That's it, chin up.

Fantastic.
Mother, hold the plate higher.

Beautiful, Tanya.
Oh, you are gorgeous!

Yes, girl. Lovely, lovely!

[doorbell ringing]

Hi, Mike. Welcome home.
You remember me?

Yeah, I think so.

The corner house
with all the gnomes out front?

You're thinking of Martha Huber.
Terrible story.

Someone beat her to death
and then buried her in the forest.

Ironic, huh? Isn't that
where gnomes live?

I don't really know
that much about gnomes.

Anyway, I know
the cops were here earlier.

So?

Well, you won't remember this,
but one night, two years ago,

you drove me to the hospital
after I had an attack of angina.

Probably saved my life.

Anyway, I figure I owe you. Here.

You might want to wash that wrench off.

It's got something on it.

Sorry I'm late.
Mrs. Prescott broke a crown...

Orson, how well you look.

Hello, Mother.

A word, darling.

I can't believe you did this!

I can't believe you told me
that she was senile! You lied to me.

Yes, to spare us the misery
of her company.

You don't know her, Bree.
She's a loathsome woman.

- I refuse to break bread with her.
- Now you listen to me.

That woman gave you life.

The Fifth Commandment
tells us to honor our parents,

no matter how hideous
or repellent they may be.

- That's not exactly...
- Orson, it's implied!

Now, get out there
and show her some respect.

Fine, but if you expect anything
more from me than forced civility,

you will be deeply disappointed.

- Bree, the salmon is superb.
- Well, thank you.

It did win me the blue ribbon
at the Gourmet County Cook-off.

I just love the sauce.
What gives it that kick?

Uh-uh-uh! You'd never ask
a magician how a trick is done.

You've barely touched your salmon, dear.

- Is everything OK?
- Yes.

I was just wondering why you're here.

- I want us to be friends.
- OK.

Let's suppose I just had
a massive head injury and believe you.

- We're pals. What do you want?
- Orson. Why does she

have to have an ulterior motive?

- I want out of that home.
- Ah, there it is.

It's a hellhole.
Besides, I'm perfectly healthy now.

My hip is better.
I can handle the stairs.

And you said when I got strong enough
I'd get to go back to my house.

Oh, here's the thing.

- I sold it.
- What?

You heard me.

- What about my things?
- All gone. I also sold the car.

That's the thing about hellholes.
They don't pay for themselves.

How dare you! You had no right!

OK. Maybe I will share
my secret ingredient.

I should have smothered you
in your crib when I had the chance.

Paprika! There, it's out.

That's the mother I remember.

I was wondering when she'd show up.

Yes, Orson, I am your mother.

So you more than anyone
should know how I deal with betrayal.

So... can we call her Grandma?

I've got one more load,
then I'm gonna do my homework.

You have anything
you want me to throw in?

No, I'm good, thanks.

Mom, listen...

I know I've put you through
the wringer lately, and I'm sorry.

Sixteen years of being perfect.
You were due.

That's what I don't get.

You've always trusted my judgment.

Why can't you trust me about Austin?

Relationships have nothing to do
with good judgment.

It doesn't matter how smart you are.
You can still get hurt.

You do your homework.
I'm gonna finish the laundry.

OK.

There you go, Mrs. H.

All right.

- Can I use your bathroom?
- Come on in.

Thank you.

Please stay for dessert.

I'll work on Orson
and we'll discuss this together.

You saw what he sentenced me to.

A room no better
than a furnished coffin.

- I have nothing to say to him.
- Well, then talk to me.

I know you're upset,
but don't shut me out, please.

Please, Gloria, let me in.

Well, I didn't
mean it literally, but OK.

We'II, um, sit together and we'll talk.
What are you doing?

- I'm not going back to that place!
- [Bree screams]

Gloria, stop!

Let's get my mother
back to the home, shall we?

Not that it's any of my business,
but is everything OK with you folks?

Oh, yeah. There was a little tension
earlier, but it's all been resolved.

[van crashing]

[water spraying]

[groaning] What the hell?

[Orson] No. I absolutely forbid it.

[Bree] Just for a few weeks till we find
a place where she'll be happier.

You should have heard her in the car.
She's miserable in that nursing home.

I don't care.
My mother's not moving in here

till she fits in a jar on the mantle.

How can you be so cold?

You don't know who she is.

I've worked my entire life
to get away from that woman.

Why? What could she have possibly done
to make you hate her so much?

Look, there is nothing to be gained
by dredging up the past.

Orson, if there's something
I should know...

Could I speak to my son a moment?

Of course.

[Orson clears throat]

So you know, I've decided to accept
your wife's kind invitation.

- I won't allow it.
- Oh, I think you will.

We're going to
end our quarrel right now.

Or I'll tell your wife what it's about.

- You wouldn't.
- Just try me.

I gave you life.

You know I won't hesitate
to take it away.

Now, give Mother a kiss.

Why in the hell would I want to do that?

To make it look real.

[Susan] Hey! You're back!

- Oh!
- I'd give you a hug, but I'm sweaty.

- How was New York?
- It was fine.

Bree said you got a job
on the first day. You're such a star.

- I want details.
- Oh!

You know, just hours and hours
of sitting around looking pretty.

But I think I'm done with modeling.

You're not gonna move to New York?

Well, if something great comes up,
I might fly out,

but I'm pretty settled here.

Oh, thank God. We were all
so worried we were losing you.

OK. Now I'm hugging you.

[sighing]

Oh! It's amazing.
Your life is such an adventure.

- I can't wait to see what you do next.
- [chuckles]

Yeah. Me, too.

OK.

Huh.

- Mr. Protector Man?
- [whispers] Shh! That's a secret.

Hello?

Hello?

- Ah, sweet.
- [steam whistle blows]

Mom, look.

Hey, don't touch anything.
I'm just gonna write a note.

Then we'll go. OK.

Parker?

Hey, come back here.

Honey? Come on, we're leaving.

Parker!

- Parker, come on, we're leaving.
- [pinball bells ring]

Why didn't you come when I called?

Superhero houses are great!

Parker, come on.
We're gonna get out of here.

- Why?
- I just said so. Come on.

[Mary Alice] There are so many things
we wish we could tell the young.

We'd like to persuade them
not to grow up so fast.

But they won't listen.

We want to tell them that beauty fades.

[Dirkin] The look.
Let's see the look, darling.

But they refuse to believe it.

[camera shutter clicking]

We warn them that their actions
will have consequences.

But still, they defy us.

Sadly, the young
can't begin to understand

the world is a dangerous place.

So it's up to us to do
anything we can to protect them.

- [girl] Hi.
- Hi.

What if I told you there is
a way you could help children...

[Mary Alice] Absolutely anything.