Desperate Housewives (2004–2012): Season 3, Episode 23 - Getting Married Today - full transcript

Bree returns from her honeymoon with Orson. Lynette's mother comes to town, as Lynette faces the possibility of cancer. Gabrielle's and Susan's weddings both take place.

[Mary Alice] Previously
on Desperate Housewives:

Victor made himself perfectly clear.

Whenever I've wanted something,
I've always gotten it.

- Bree needed to get away.
- Finally taking our honeymoon.

Susan couldn't wait to pop the question.

- Will you marry me?
- [laughs]

Lynette received shocking news.

You can see this.
It could be lymphoma.

Why are you reluctant to commit?

- I'm not in love with you.
- Edie...

- What if we tried to have a baby?
- ... engaged in a dangerous deception.

When Gabrielle Solis
agreed to marry Victor Lang,

she was determined to have
a very traditional wedding.

She was even more determined
to be a very traditional bride.

To that end, the handkerchief
in her cleavage was borrowed,

the garter on her leg was blue

and the diamonds on her ears were old.

But sadly for Gabrielle,
something was missing.

And she was about
to throw a traditional fit.

It is after three! Where the hell
is Bree with my something new?

Her plane landed on time.
She'll probably be here any second.

I should have my head examined
for agreeing to this.

Who the hell cares
about Swiss jewelry anyway?

Gabby, Bree went out of her way
to buy you that bracelet.

Of course it's the
hottest day of the year.

All the guests are out there
sweating like pigs.

My reception's going to look like
the finish line of the Boston Marathon.

If you're freaked out,
get married without the bracelet.

Are you out of your mind?

Can't get married
without my "something new."

Oh, I have an idea.
I just got a lipstick yesterday.

You could wear that.

I just paid a makeup artist
500 bucks to do my face.

Think I want to march down the aisle
looking like I ate a popsicle?

OK, it's your big day,
so I'm gonna let that slide.

God, it is ten after,
and Bree is never late!

Where can she be?

All right, that's it.

After I finish zhuzhing my hair,
tell the preacher it's showtime.

I can't believe my wedding's already
ruined and it hasn't even started.

[Susan screams]

I am starting to get worried about Bree.
Maybe we should call.

Yeah, I'm calling her cell.

- It's ringing.
- Oh, good.

- Bree!
- Oh, wow.

- Hello, ladies.
- [Gabby] Is that Bree?

She better not have come empty-handed.

Oh, I didn't.

[Mary Alice] As promised,
Bree had arrived with something new.

Holy crap.

And she also... brought the bracelet.

There is nothing more important.

They are the ones we want
to laugh with during the good times.

And the ones we need
to console us during the bad.

And even though the time comes
when they have to leave us...

... their voices
still linger in our minds.

And, sometimes,
we can't help but listen.

Tangled web.
That's what you're weaving.

Oh, beat it, Mother.

Really think this scheme of yours
is gonna work?

Of course it will. Look at him.

He's practically
in love with me already.

That's because he thinks
you're gonna give him a baby.

Wait till he finds out
you're still on the pill.

Shut up, would you?

I just thank the good Lord
your father didn't live to see this.

Well, neither did you!

You died alone in a trailer park
watching game shows.

And why should I listen to you?

'Cause I know
what's waiting for you, missy.

This one's gonna leave you
like all the others.

You're going to end up
old and alone, just like I did.


Carlos? Carlos!

- [Carlos] Down here, babe!
- [Edie sighs]

- I'm making you a fruit smoothie.
- [doorbell rings]

- Chicken or fish?
- What?

Haven't gotten your reply card.
Chicken or fish?

- Oh, right, your wedding. I can't go.
- Why not?

I'm a jinx. Look how your
last marriage turned out.

Come on, Gabby, we both know
it'd be weird if I went.

OK, maybe a little.
But it'll be weirder if you don't.

- Excuse me?
- Everyone knows you living with Edie.

If she shows up alone, people'll
think I asked her not to bring you,

like it bugs me you guys are together.

It does.
You hit the roof when you found out.

Which is why I have to
show people that I'm OK with it!

Just consider it my wedding gift.

OK. But I'm skipping the ceremony.

What? And just go to the reception?
You can't do that!

Well, I don't want to make a scene.

You'll vow "till death do us part,"
I'll bust out laughing,

people will stare...

The reception starts at four.

I'm thinking a chocolate fountain'd be
a cool centerpiece to a dessert buffet.

Dessert buffet?
We're having a wedding cake, right?

- Isn't that dessert?
- You have to give people a choice.

Don't you think a chocolate
fountain'd be elegant?

I don't know. You,
a big white dress, melted chocolate.

Am I the only one hearing alarm bells?

Fine, we'll skip the chocolate.
How about a champagne fountain?

I know.

We can make the champagne
flow through the ice sculpture.

Don't you think
we might be going over the top?

Mike, these are all
fairly standard wedding features.

Now you name one thing
that you think is going over the top.

How about the dove wrangler?

The doves are not going
to release themselves.

Do we really need 40 of them?

OK, I know that you think
that I'm being silly,

but all of our friends
went to Bree's wedding,

and now Gabby's.
Two months from now,

do we want them thinking
ours wasn't as nice?

Seems to me our friends wouldn't
be there to make petty comparisons,

- they'd be there to celebrate our love.
- You would think that, but no.

Come on, this is something that we
have both looked forward to for so long.

Don't you want it to be perfect?

Oh, I guess.
About the doves, though.


You in a wedding gown,
40 birds circling overhead?

Again, not liking those odds.

Oh, it's not as bad as it sounds.

It's Hodgkin's Lymphoma and, apparently,
if you're going to get lymphoma,

that's the kind you want.

Hey, you want to
hold it down up there, kids?

I'm trying to talk
to your Aunt Lucy! Thank you.

Anyway, I know I said that
we would come and visit you this June,

but I'll be a little woozy
and bald from the chemo, so...

Oh, thanks for understanding.
Oh, one more thing.

Our insurance policy
has a really high deductible,

so we are strapped financially, and
I was wondering if maybe you and Dave

might be able to...

Oh, really?

No, I am not asking Mom.

She doesn't know about any of this,
so don't you tell her, OK?

We'll be fine. I love you. Bye.

I take it that's a no on the loan.

Yep, Dave lost his job at the plant,
and he is now handing out fliers

at a chicken restaurant
and, prepare to wince,

there is a chicken suit involved.


Where are we gonna find this $10,000?

You leave that to me.
I want you to focus on getting better.

- But honey...
- I will find it.

Meanwhile, we'll make
some sacrifices around here.

My tennis club membership
is up this month. I'm not renewing.

Should you be playing tennis
after your back surgery?

Probably not.

Well, in that spirit, as soon as I start
chemo, I will be giving up shampoo.

OK, thanks. Taxi's here.

Are you sure you're ready to go back?
We could wait another week.

And miss Gabby's wedding?
No, I'll be fine.

Is this the dress
you were thinking for the ceremony?


Oh, good. I'll fold it
in tissue so it doesn't wrinkle.

Oh, darling. I don't deserve you.

Oh, come on, we agreed, no more tears.

I'm so sorry to be
putting you through this.

I wouldn't blame you if you
ran like hell and never looked back.

Stop. I'm going to raise this child
and love it as if it were my own.

Now, let's see a smile.

Glad you could join us, Milton. Good to
get to know you before the wedding.

Thank you. You know, I must say,

all these months I thought Victor
was exaggerating,

but he hasn't done you justice.
You, my dear, are a flawless beauty.

[chuckles] I'm hardly flawless.

I'm sure I have a blemish
hidden away somewhere.

That's a search I'd relish.

- She is way out of your league, Dad.
- Honey, he's a multimillionaire.

He runs my league.

[laughs] By the way, I ran into
Keith Perkinson last week.

- How is the venerable state chairman?
- Impressed with you.

Liked the way you ran your campaign.

If you keep your numbers up,
he might consider supporting you

- in the next governor's race.
- Really?


- What's so funny?
- You've got to be kidding, right?

Just finished a campaign. You're not
about to put me through another one.

- But I thought you loved campaigning.
- God, no. It's a complete snore.

Pasting a smile on my face while you
say the same speech for the 50th time.

But you were a natural.
People loved you.

Well, the feeling wasn't mutual.

You think I enjoyed sipping tea
with these frumpy matrons who wore

loud poly-blend pantsuits?
Know how many times I wanted to scream,

"Vote for my husband,
you colorblind cow!"

I think you've discovered something
very important about democracy.

The nation is full of fools,
and everyone gets a vote.

They're not gonna get us again.

I made nice with Fairview, I'm not about
to suck up to the whole damn state.

What are you doing?

Some guy out in Mount Pleasant's
got a cracked water heater.

It's three in the morning.

Well, I started advertising
as a 24-hour plumber.

After midnight, I get triple time.

OK, that's crazy. You can't work
around the clock. It's not healthy.

This is the third night
I've worked this week. I'm fine so far.

You've been sneaking out
while I've been asleep?

What are you, ninja plumber?

It's just for a little while,
to earn some extra money.

Is this about the wedding?

We agreed we want it to be nice.

But we didn't agree on this.

Maybe I can scale things back a bit.

How? Have a ginger ale fountain?

Make paper doves and hope it's windy?

OK, seriously,
you don't have to kill yourself.

I could max out my credit card.

Is that really how you want
to start our life together, in debt?

No, I want to start out happy.

Clearly, you're upset,
and I don't know why.

I'm not Ian.

I can't afford to move you
into a mansion or fly you off to Paris.

I'll be damned if I don't give you the
same dream wedding he'd have given you.

I'll see you in the morning.

- [doorbell rings]
- [kids chatter]

Where the hell do you get off having
cancer and not telling me about it?


How do you think you could
handle this without me?

- Stella?
- Oh, there's my Tommy-boy. Come here.

Oh, God.

Oh, listen, be a love, will you, honey,
and get my bags from the cab.

Bags? She's staying?

Yep. And do not tip the driver.
SOB wouldn't let me smoke.

Jeez, Lynette, I didn't know
you opened a daycare center.

Hey, kids, Grandma's here.

OK, what did you tell them about me?

It's been five years, Mom.
They don't remember you.

They'll remember me this time,
I brought presents.

- Cool!
- Hey.

For you, and you and you.

These are baby toys.
We're too old to play with these.

I'm too old to remember
what the hell six-year-olds like.

- We're eight!
- What do I care?

- Just say "thank you."
- Thank you.

Oh, who's the pretty thing?
Your girlfriend?

- No! She's my sister!
- Oh...

Is that Tom's little b-a-s-t-a...?

OK, kids! Time to get your toys
and play upstairs.

Come on, Penny.
Come on, sweetie.

Let's go, everybody.

Listen, I really appreciate
you coming to help, but

- as you can see, I'm perfectly fine.
- [scoffs] For now.

How are you gonna handle that mob
when you're flat on your ass from chemo?

I'll manage.

You got through breast cancer
while raising the three of us alone.

I was not alone. I had you.

Lynette was all of 13,
and she still looked after her sisters,

cleaned the house, cooked the meals,
and I was curled up in a ball,

puking my guts out.

Well, that's what you get
when you mix chemo and vodka gimlets.

You can goad me all you like, Lynette.
I did not come here to fight.

Now trust me, cookie, I have memorized
the whole catalogue of subjects

you and I can no longer discuss.

If that means that we have to talk
about the weather for three months,

then fine. But I am staying.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have
to go kick a child out of its room.

[Edie moans, giggles]

OK, legs up.

Oh, you want to do it again?

No. I've been doing a lot of research,

and gravity helps facilitate
the sperm reaching the eggs.

So heave-ho!

Could we try a little light spooning
before you hang me like a side of beef?

Edie, we're trying to have a baby.

Well, could we be
a little less clinical?

Maybe let nature take its course.

Nature is not on our side anymore.

You're no spring chicken and
those eggs aren't exactly farm fresh.

OK, stop referring to me as poultry!

Sorry. Can we just try this?
It's only for 30 minutes.

Thirty minutes! I am not staying
in this position for half an hour!

Listen, I know that
this requires some work,

but it will all be worth it when we have
our beautiful, beautiful baby, right?

Right. I guess I could
make some sacrifices.

That's my girl.

- Can I get you anything?
- Yeah, I'd kill for a beer.

- Sorry. No alcohol.
- What? For how long?

Just until the baby's born.
Oh, and you stop nursing.

Don't worry,
I'll get you a nice herbal tea.

Just for a few months,
while you're in treatment.

We're gonna have to
find someone to watch the kids.

No! I am not leaving that woman
in charge of our children.

In three months,
the twins will be chain-smoking

and Penny will be an alcoholic.

We can manage.
We've got McCluskey.

She costs money. Money we won't have if
we pay someone to replace you at work.

You said not to worry about money,
you'd find it somewhere.

I did.

What? Someone loaned us $10,000?

No, gave us. And we can't
thank her by kicking her out.

No! Tom, you didn't ask my mother!

Didn't have to. She knew that
you hit up Lucy, so she offered.

- Well, we're giving it back.
- No, we can't afford to.

Tom, you don't know
half the stuff she did to us.

She would get drunk
and smack us around.

She'd meet some new guy,
and then drop us off at her sister's

for a week because he wasn't into kids.

OK, so she was a crappy mom.

You said yourself
that she has mellowed.

- Now she wants to make amends.
- If you would just try to understand.

I think that I've been
pretty understanding lately.

- What's that supposed to mean?
- I think you know.

In the middle of everything
I'm dealing with,

you're gonna throw Rick in my face?

When someone we love hurts us,
if we still love them,

we deal with it and we move on.

If I can do it, so can you.

So forgiving my mother,
that's my penance?

Yeah. I think it is.

You said we weren't supposed to spend

- the night before the wedding together.
- I was trying to respect tradition,

but I got horny.


I guess we'll just have to start
the honeymoon early, won't we?

- Let me get rid of this stuff.
- What are you working on so late?


Polling data? Why are you polling?
The election's over.

Just a little research.
God, you look hot.

Is this about running for governor?
I told you how I feel about that.

My dad just set up
a little exploratory committee.

- It's no big deal.
- OK, let's explore it now.

- Nope. Not gonna happen.
- Gabby.

Victor, ever since we met,
it's been photo ops and fundraisers,

- and I'm sick of it!
- I'm a politician.

Think I want my career

- to begin and end in the suburbs?
- Fairview's home. Don't want to leave!

Can't make this decision without me!
Gonna be your wife.

- Exactly! Not my career advisor.
- I don't get a vote?

- Not if it's a veto!
- OK, look, no!

I already married a man
who put his career before me,

and I swore I wasn't going to again.

Well, I swore I would not let
a stupid woman hold me back!

That did not come out
the way I wanted it to.

I'm sorry.
I'm sor... I'm really sorry.

I've been under
a lot of pressure lately.

Well, here's one less thing
you have to worry about: our wedding.

You can't cancel the wedding.
It's too late.

As far as I'm concerned,
it's just in the nick of time.

[doorbell rings]

Good morning, Gabby.

God, Milton,
the newspaper's not even here yet.

I'm sorry it's so early.
I just came to apologize.

Why? What happened wasn't your fault.

That's not exactly the case.

- Is that coffee I smell?
- [sighs]

You only bolted because
Victor wants to be governor.

He only wants to be governor
because of me.

You suggested it. You can't make him
go after something he doesn't want.

The hell I can't.

Ever since he was a kid,
Victor's been killing himself

trying to live up
to his big-shot father.

- He's desperate for my approval.
- Why?

I suppose because he's never gotten it.

Everything he does,
even becoming mayor,

I somehow let him know
that it's not quite enough.

Oh, don't get me wrong,
I'm right to push.

- That's why he's so successful.
- So, what are you saying,

I should marry Victor
because you're a withholding father?

No, I just want you to understand
why he does what he does.

Fine. I get it. But why would
I want a husband who values

his father's opinion more than mine?

Well, he doesn't really
care much what I think anymore.

After you left last night
he called me and, what's the phrase,

"tore me a new one."

- He did?
- He said, because of me,

he'd lost the best thing
that had ever happened to him.

And if he couldn't win you back,
I could take my money and buy a new son

because I was never going
to be hearing from him again.

He blew off 80 million?

Well, if he cares about me so damn much,
why am I not hearing this from him?

I think you're about to.

Is there a back way out of here?

Aren't you going to be late
for Gabby's wedding?

Oh, weddings are boring.
I like to sneak in at the end,

look teary-eyed and pretend
I was there the whole time.

I am going to see you at the reception.

Oh! Uh, hi, Danny.

Carlos, the paper boy's here!
Could you pay him? Come on in.

Hey. Here you go, Danny.

Oh, looks like I'm a little short.

Can I catch you later?


All right, hold on.

- Oh, my God.
- What's that?

It's birth control pills.

I'm gonna need cash.

- [Andrew] Welcome home.
- I have missed you, sweetheart.

Here, allow me.

Well, hello there, Julie.

- You guys are back!
- Wow, somebody's blonder.

Oh, yeah, my mom hates it too.

So where's Danielle?

Well, while we were in Switzerland
she ran across this boarding school.

She fell in love with it
and just insisted that we

- let her spend a year abroad.
- Wow.

She must be having a good time. She
hasn't returned any of my phone calls.

Oh, well, you know,
her school's up in the mountains

and her cell phone reception
is kind of funky.

She hasn't answered my e-mails either.

I am going to call her tonight
and have a little talk with her

about common courtesy
and I'm sure that you'll get

an e-mail tomorrow morning.

We should go. Got to get that
bracelet to Gabby before the wedding.

Well, I'll see you guys there. Bye.

- Well, that was uncomfortable.
- You have no idea.

Everyone's been asking questions.

This might not be as easy as we'd hoped.

[guests chatter]

There. Now you have something new.

So how do I look?

You are now, officially, the most
beautiful bride that ever lived.

- Until your wedding, of course.
- Nice save.

It means so much to me that
we're all here together right now.

And break!

Love you.

[minister] We are gathered here today
to join together...

... Victor Lang and
Gabrielle Marquez in matrimony.

An honorable estate
not to be entered into lightly,

but reverently and soberly.

This is a lifetime union, based on
love, honor, and trust.

Be my new best friend.
Premium scotch. Keep it coming.

You are promising to accept each other.

Promising not only to love for today,
but to extend that love...

Carlos! I thought
you weren't coming until...

Save it.

If these two should not be
together, speak now...

- OK, look, I can explain.
- Don't bother!

Your lies were more convincing
when I cared.

Victor, do you take Gabrielle
to be your lawful wedded wife,

- through good times and bad...
- Carlos! You've got to understand!

I do want to have a baby with you,
just not yet!

I just... I wanted to give you
a chance to fall in love with me first.

I don't believe you.
And I will never trust you again.

Well, what was I supposed to do?
You backed me into a corner!

And you were gonna bail on us and
I was just trying to save what we had!

Carlos, don't leave me.

- Please just talk to me.
- I am done with you.


[minister] Ladies and gentlemen,
I present to you,

- Mr. and Mrs. Victor Lang!
- [crowd applauds]

I'm sorry! [cries]

Mrs. McCluskey.
Enjoy the wedding?

Nice. Very classy.

What the hell was that brouhaha
between Carlos and Edie?

I don't know and I don't care.

Today I am so filled with love,
I can forgive anyone anything.

Oh, but if you do see them again,
call security.

So we're in Z?rich
and I am sick after breakfast

for the third morning in a row.
I thought to myself,

"Dear God, I hope I have not developed
an allergy to chocolate brioche.

Life wouldn't be worth living."

I said, "That's it,
we're seeing a doctor."

You could've knocked us over
with a feather when he said

she was two months pregnant.

I think it's so great
and we could not be happier for you.

- When's your due date?
- Not until the fall,

but enough about me.
This is your day. You and Victor.

- Who, by the way, I have not met yet.
- My gosh, that's right.

OK, you stay here,
I'm going to go grab him.

[sighs] It's so good to be back.

I can't believe how much is happening.

I mean, you and Gabby getting married,
and I'm having a baby.

What's going on with you, Lynette?

Nothing. Same old, same old.

Really? Everything OK, sweetie?

You haven't seemed yourself
the last couple weeks.

I'm fine. Everything's just fine.

[Victor] I'll tell you this much,
I'm exhausted.

I'll be glad when this day's over.

[Milton] Well, it was all worth it.

Marrying Gabby is the
smartest thing you've ever done.

Her bringing the Latino vote,
the governor's mansion's yours.

Well, that's assuming
I can change her mind.

Had to make concessions
to get her down the aisle.

Well, you're the husband now.
The rules have changed.

Be nice, buy her a few pretty things.

Trust me, you'll be able to tame
that little spitfire.

Not worried. I've always been
able to manage my assets.

Did you find him?

No. I'm still looking,
but I'll let you know.

- [music on TV]
- Movie's over, amen.

Go out and play. Go on. Out.

They're just gonna go play guns.
Can I watch another movie?

Lynette said one was the limit
and she'll be home soon.

No, she won't.

Whenever they go out they always
come home at least an hour later

than they say they will.

Aren't you an observant little monkey.

Tell me, sweetie,

would you know anything
about a man named Rick?

Yeah, I know Rick.

My daddy and Lynette
had a big fight about him.


Sounds like there's,
maybe, a little story there.

If I tell you, could I watch
a really good grown-up movie?

If it's a really good grown-up story.

OK, I got you some appetizers
to tide you over.

We have mini-quiches and beef satay

and something called
Crystal Coast shrimp with grits,

but it's mostly grits because
I ate all the shrimp on my way over.


Reverend, that was such
a beautiful ceremony.

Really just heartfelt and moving.
The whole package.

- Why, thank you.
- It was really impressive.

So, what are you doing tonight?

Carlos. I didn't know
you were in here.

I got a little thirsty.

Yes, I can see that.

Gabby, I am sorry
if I ruined your wedding.

But if it's any consolation,
I also ruined my life. [chuckles]

What are you talking about?

A couple years ago I was totally happy.

I had a home, you, a great career.

And I don't understand
how I let it all go to hell.

And now, here I am, back at square one.

[chuckles] I really blew it.

What am I doing?

I shouldn't be dumping this on you.

It's your wedding day. Go to Victor.

I'm going to stay right here...

Well, I don't know how you did it.

The kids are asleep
and the cough syrup hasn't been touched.

Boy, you're just waiting
for an excuse to give me the boot.

Well, if history's any indicator,
I won't have to wait long.

So you don't think people can change?

[chuckles] I think, at a certain point,
people just are who they are.

Well, I think people can change.

Now take you.
You were the perfect wife and mom.

Then along came Rick.

- How did you...?
- Come on, Lynette.

You were young when I was sneaking
around, but you knew something was up.

- You heard about this from my kids?
- Just the girl.

And all she knows is that,
"Daddy got mad because Rick liked you."

Nothing happened between me and Rick.

Yes, he came on to me,
but unlike you, I controlled myself.

Well, you had Tom to come home to.

I had your stepfather.

Hey, Glen may have bored you,

but the years we had a father in that
house were the happiest of my life.

You didn't care about that though,
did you? You just drove him away.

And you couldn't wait to pay me back!

Do you remember what you said
the next year? When I got sick?

- No, I don't.
- Liar.

You said I earned it.

It was God's punishment.

How are you feeling now, Lynette?

You think you're being punished?

How can you say that?

You were so sanctimonious.

You could not imagine what sort
of woman could do that kind of thing.

Not so hard to imagine now, is it?

Stop comparing us.
I never did what you did.

No, you just wanted to.

You're leaving tomorrow.
I don't want your money.

- I don't want you in my house.
- Hey! You are sick, Lynette.

You think you know what you're in for
'cause you watched me go through it?

Watching it is nothing.

You are going to feel worse
than you thought a person could feel,

and I'll be holding your hand
through every damn minute.

You can't stay if I don't want you here.

You can fight me
or you can fight the cancer.

Trust me, you won't
have the strength to do both.

Andrew, do young people
still say "awesome"?

Not so much. Try "off the hook."

"Off the hook"?
That doesn't make sense.

Fine. Type in "groovy." See if I care.

Hello. Hodge residence.

Oh, hi, Danielle.

Listen, I am sending Julie Mayer
an e-mail from you.

Now would you say that your school
was quote, off the hook, unquote?

No. I would say it was "sucky,"

or "crappy," or "a freaking nightmare."

If you're gonna complain,
I'm going to hang up.

Mom, you have got to talk to the nuns.

They are so harsh with me.
And they have all these stupid rules.

If those rules had been in place
when you took up with Edie's nephew,

you might not be in this pickle.

Mom, please, I just want to come home.

Look, I am gonna say this one last time.

You are gonna stay put
until that baby is born.

Don't forget,
we're driving up this weekend

and I am bringing your favorite,
lemon squares. And...

- Darling, can I draw you a bath?
- Oh, that would be lovely.

Oh, would you give me a hand, please?

There you go.

- Almost time for the six-month size.
- Oh, don't remind me.

No. No, it's no problem.
I can fix that for you.

Just give me your name and address.

[woman] I'm Mrs. Emmeline Walcott
and I'm at 42 Old Mill Road.

I've got to stop and pick up
a Douglas valve,

but I should be there
in 45 minutes tops.

I hate to see you drive
when you're this tired.

There's some iced coffee in the fridge.

I'll be fine.

See you when I get back.

- You were great.
- Did y'all ever doubt I would be?

Hurry up and get dressed.

- We only have 45 minutes!
- OK.

Are you Mike?

Yeah. I'm looking
for a Mrs. Walcott's house.

You've come to the right place.
Here, put this on.

You mind telling me what Susan's up to?

Ask her yourself.


Are you sure about this?

I don't want you to look back and
regret not having your perfect wedding.

I don't know if you've noticed,

but my idea of a perfect wedding
keeps changing.

One day I want white roses
and then I want lilies.

First I want a harpist
and then a string quartet.

Only one thing stays constant...

...and I'm looking at him.

Why would I need anything else
to make my wedding perfect?

Well, who knew downsizing
could be so romantic?


- Mrs. Walcott, I presume?
- That's right, sugar.

You might want to check
that breast pocket of your suit.

Just so you know,
you'll be paying for those

and the lights and the flowers.

I've never seen you look so beautiful.

You clean up pretty good yourself.

Are we ready?

Are you kidding? They've been
dragging this out for three years.

We are gathered here today
to join together

Mike Delfino
and Susan Mayer in matrimony.

An honorable estate
not to be entered into lightly,

but reverently and soberly.

[Mary Alice] Family.
There is nothing more important.

They are the ones who show up
when we're in trouble.

The ones who push us to succeed.

The ones who help keep our secrets.

But what of those who have
no family to rely on?

What happens to those poor souls...

... who have no loved ones
to help them in their hour of need?

Well, most learn to walk
life's road by themselves...

[chair clattering]

... but a sad few of us...

... simply stop trying.