Desperate Housewives (2004–2012): Season 2, Episode 24 - Remember: Part 2 - full transcript

Previously
on Desperate Housewives:

This'll sweep her
right off her feet.

You dog. You're
gonna ask Susan to marry you.

I didn't say that.

They say money can't buy love.

- My gift to you.
- You bought us a house?

Or even happiness.

I have another child, Lynette.

I just found out about it.
I am not having an affair.

And it certainly can't ease...

You don't want to
have sex with me?



Don't take it personally.

A guilty conscience.

See? That's why I can't give you
the keys to the kingdom, kid.

No balls.

Do I know you?

Orson Hodge.
Susan's dentist friend.

The only thing that can
bring true peace of mind...

You by any chance
recognize the jacket?

That jacket belongs
to my other son.

Is admitting the truth...

We have to find them
and get Danielle back.

And setting yourself free.

I am trying to leave
and these morons won't let me.

Don't struggle.



Have they rung up
your prescription yet?

- They're getting it
right now.
- Good. Add that on.

You're dying your hair
honey wheat blond?

Oh, it's not for me.

It's for Danielle.

That hair is going back
to the color God intended.

You think she's gonna
sit still as you towel
this through her hair?

Oh, I will tie her down
if necessary.

I'm also thinking of
checking her body for
piercings while I'm at it.

You're overreacting.
She's just going
through a phase.

That's what girls her age do.

They also get pregnant
and become drug addicts.

And that color hair
is the gateway.

Would you please, uh,
add that to our bill?

Bree, you're gonna have
to stop riding them
so hard.

I am trying to ensure
that they turn into
responsible adults.

Trust me, Rex, in the end,
we will be rewarded.

How can you be so
damn sure of yourself
all the time?

Why is my certainty a flaw?

I know what I'm about,
I know my values,

and I know what's right.
Why shouldn't I
stay the course?

Am I right, Mr. Williams?

My mother always took
a firm hand with me,
and I thank her for it.

Exactly. And look how well
you turned out.

Look,
you're a good mother.
But there's a limit.

You have got to relinquish
some control, or else
you're gonna regret it.

Excuse me, do you have the time?

- Yeah. It's just after 8:00.
- Oh, I was afraid of that.

Afraid of what?

Well, I'm only supposed
to be restrained until 7:00.

You see, I have a problem
with sleepwalking.

They just tie me up
so that I don't wander off
and hurt myself.

- I'm sure a nurse
will be in here soon.
- One can only hope.

Of course, if a doctor
gets here first

and sees that someone
forgot to release me,

I'm sure they'll
get in a lot of trouble.

I can't let you
out of your restraints.
I'd get fired.

Oh. Well,
I certainly would not
want that to happen.

- What's your name?
- Alfred.

Oh! Does anybody
ever call you Alfie?

No.

And why should they?

So, um, Alfred,

I was wondering
if you could maybe
loosen my restraints?

They're incredibly tight.

And I'm sure
there are no rules against
making me more comfortable.

Do you think I'm stupid?

I beg your pardon?

Two seconds after I loosen
these restraints

you'll try to scratch
my eyes out and run.

Well, I'm not falling for it,
you psycho little bitch.

I hope they keep you tied up
for the next month

'cause I'd get a kick out
of watching a prissy
whack job like you

lying in your own filth.

Know what I mean?

Careful with those.
That's the last
of the crystal.

Hey, what's going on?

Oh, hi.
Um, we're just moving.

Hey, it's the plumber!

You come over to help Susie
move into her new house?

- New house?
- Oh, she didn't tell you?

I bought a place for my girls.

You let him buy you a house?

Uh, well, he's not
moving in with us.

After that speech about
wanting to go it alone

and after I offered
to let you stay with me?

To be fair, you just
had a spare room, and
this is a whole house.

Hey, no offense,
but if you're not using
your back,

you're just in the way.

You saw me buying that ring,

and you just had to cut me off.

- You bought me a ring?
- Suze, let me handle this.

A man's gotta protect
his family, huh?

Uh, Mike, about that ring?

- Put that box down.
- What? You're gonna
hit me, huh?

Stop it! Oh, my...

What are you...?
Just stop it!

Oh. That's enough!
Get off! Go! Go!

Oh, my God.

What...? Stop it!

That's enough!
That's enough! Back up!

And that ring.
That was for me, right?

Not now!

Oh, my...

Karl? Are you OK?

Are you OK?
Let me see.

Oh, my God.

Can you sit up?

Oof.

Xiao Mei, do you have a second?

This is probably silly,
but it's been bothering me.

When you said,
"Please don't kill him,"
did you mean Carlos?

Ralph dead, not Mr. Solis.

I know. It's just you said
"kill," not "dead,"

and I'd have to be
pretty angry
to kill someone.

So I guess my question is,

do I have a reason
to be angry at Mr. Solis?

Please.
So much laundry.

Xiao Mei...

how did you rip your panties?

I fall down.

Mr. Young, you'll need
to come up to the house

- to sign
some legal documents.
- What for?

Noah Taylor's will called
for an immediate transference

of his entire estate to you
upon his death.

- So everything's mine?
- That's correct.

Hi, Dad.

So did you have any luck
with your grandfather?

Yeah. I talked to Noah.
He's not gonna give us
the money.

- Damn it, Zach.
- Sorry?

Go back and talk to him.

I don't think he's gonna
change his mind.

Terrific. Am I gonna
see you tomorrow?

No. I can't come tomorrow.

- What about Monday?
- Uh, next week's bad
for me too.

- I'll call you
when I know.
- Zach.

Zach!

Is there anything I can do?

Get me a new phone
with a different number.

And fill in this stupid lake.

Oh. Are you all right?

Oh, yeah.

I'm a little hopped-up
on pain medicine.

But, uh, I chipped my tooth
on the salad shooter.

Oh. Oh, you know,
you should, um, call
my friend, uh, Orson.

He's a dentist. I'm sure
he'll see you right away.

- Thanks.
- So...

about that ring you bought.

Is there anything
in particular
you'd like to ask me?

Nope. Not as long
as Karl's got you
wrapped around his finger.

OK, that's ridiculous.

Karl doesn't have me
wrapped around anything.

You accepted a house from him.

And you're nuts if you
believe he doesn't have
an ulterior motive.

He's Karl. He's playing me.

But that house is
gonna be a great place
for my daughter to live.

And when he makes his move,

he's gonna realize
that I was really
playing him.

So about that ring...

I just don't want
to get deeper into this

and suddenly realize
your heart
is somewhere else.

Mike, my heart is in
the exact right place.

I can't have
this conversation now.
My tooth is throbbing.

Of course. OK.

You don't even want
to know what my answer
would have been?

Can we please
get out of here?
This place is gross.

And, God, I'm starving.

- We don't have
any money, remember?
- We should go to my house.

I know the combination
to my mom's safe.

I've told you
a thousand times,
it's too risky. No.

Something you should know
before we embark
on this little adventure.

I can get pretty bitchy
when I'm not fed.

I hope I'm not out of line here,

but did you spend
any time in prison?

What? You can tell
from my teeth?

Jailhouse dentistry.
Unmistakable,
and not pretty.

Yeah. I did a little time
in Kansas a few years back.

- You were a prison dentist?
- Uh, during dental school.

We did freebie work
on some of the poor
guinea pigs behind bars.

No offense.

I had the feeling when
I first saw you in the movie
theater that we'd met.

- I don't think so.
- I'm pretty sure.
I think I know you.

Any chance I was one
of your guinea pigs?

No. The only prison work
I did was back in Virginia.

Diploma says you graduated
from Minnesota.

I'm licensed in three states.

Open wide, please.

Don't talk.
I wouldn't want to hurt you.

Carlos, you promised
you'd come home today.

I don't care what Tanaka wants!

Rattling around this stupid
house all by myself is not
what I signed up for!

No, no, no. Don't hang up on me.
I am not done yelling at you!

Mrs. Solis. How are you?

The best you ever had.

What's so funny?

Me and my friend Justin
have this bet.

See who could lose their
virginity first this summer
at Bible camp.

Guess I beat him to the punch.

You were a virgin?

- So it didn't show?
- Uh, no. No.

I guess it was a little weird

when you started naming
the American presidents
in order.

Yeah, I wish you
hadn't heard that.
I was just trying to...

No, no. You were good.

Just if it comes up
in school, Paul Revere
was never a president.

Oh. Thanks.

I, uh, had a really
awesome time, Mrs. Solis.

Oh, well, good. I'm glad.
Because this can
never happen again.

- Why?
- The only reason I did this

was because
I was angry at Carlos.

Now, thanks to you,
I'm not angry anymore.

Well, you should be.
I mean, the guy's
never around.

Hell, he's probably off
having his own affair
right now!

Oh.

- I seriously doubt that.
- How do you know?

Because Carlos doesn't
have an adulterous bone
in his body.

What we just did,
he could never do.

For him, sex isn't just sex,
it's a sign of intimacy.

It's the way he shows love.

You know, instead of
talking and listening

and spending time with me.

What was that for?

Thought you needed a kiss.

Well, since
this is our last time,

- I guess we can make the most of it.
- Oh!

So you really trust him, huh?

Completely.

Like all good mothers,

Gabrielle had purchased several
top-of-the-line baby monitors.

She had planned to use them

to keep a close watch
on her newborn child.

That plan was about to change.

So I'm gonna go shopping,
and then I'm gonna
see my trainer.

And I'll definitely be gone
for, like, three hours.

OK. Well, I gotta go.
Have fun.

Not later, Penny. Mommy's gotta
change you now 'cause you stink.

- Here, taste this.
- - Oh, man.

- Xiao Mei, that is amazing.
- You like?

Oh, yeah.
Just sorry if I'm making a mess.

It's OK.
Mu shu pork supposed to be messy.

I wish Gabrielle could cook
like this. Have you tried
her enchiladas?

One time.
They make me sick.

Mike still hasn't seen
the invitation.

He will. And he'll
meet you for a romantic
motor home rendezvous.

And you'll propose,
he'll accept, and you'll both
live happily ever after.

You really think that's
what's gonna happen?

It's my deepest hope.

Oh, there he is!

We're in!

Polly.
That's a good name.

No way.

- Pamela?
- I said I wanted Penny.

Ah, Lynette...

Eight hours of grueling labor.

It's not fair.

Neither are stretch marks,
but what are you gonna do?

I've only known one Penny
in my whole life,
and she was a slut.

- Isn't your aunt named Penny?
- Yeah, that's her.

Our daughter
is officially named.
You may go now.

All right, I'll let you
win this one. But I get
to name the next one.

You promised me we'd stop
at four, remember?

You wanted four kids,
I wanted one,

and somehow
we compromised on four!
Can we please stop now?

- Lynette, you're hurting me.
- I will stop as soon
as you promise.

OK. I promise.

OK.

Honey,
I didn't mean to upset you.

I just...
we've been so happy.

Sweetie, sometimes when
you're at work, and I'm
home with three young boys,

I'm not so happy.

And now I'm gonna be alone
with four kids.

Each one is a blessing, yes.

But I don't think
I can take any more...

blessings.

More blessings
could make me lose my mind.

- Do you understand?
- Yeah.

Thank you.

Honey, that really hurt.

- Did it hurt
for eight hours?
- No.

OK, then.

I must've been crazy
agreeing to this.

You'll feel differently
once you meet Kayla.

She's a sweet,
smart little girl.

Plus, it'll help you get past
your resentment of Nora.

I don't...

Well, here it goes.

Hey, you!

- You must be Lynette.
- Mmm. And you must be Nora.

- I guess it'd be weird
if we hugged.
- Probably.

Where's Kayla?

Oh, she didn't come.

We got into this huge fight,
and I was like...

I couldn't stand to look
at her face on that
long plane trip,

so I dumped her
at the neighbors.

But hey, come on, you got me.

So anyway, Kayla is doing great.

She's so pretty.
She's so smart.

She's practically the star
on her soccer team.

I have the cutest picture.

We wouldn't need it if
you'd actually brought her
like you promised.

Oh, gosh. I'm sorry,

but I just haven't
had much time
to get away on my own

since I've been taking care
of your kid for the past
11 years, super dad.

OK. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

I know it's been hard.
You've done
an amazing job.

Thank you. I think so too.
Apology accepted.

Anyway, I wasn't sure
that I wanted Kayla here

if we were gonna
talk about business.

Business?

I was hoping that we could
talk about child support.

Since I've got,
like, 11 years
coming to me, right?

You never told me
I had a daughter!

My lawyer thinks that
I have a very good case.

We can't afford this.
We have four kids.

Tom just lost his job.
That'd bankrupt us.

I'm the bad guy now
when he's the one

that knocked me up
and abandoned his child?!

How could he abandon her
if he didn't even know
she existed?

That doesn't
let him off the hook.

You better do right by me
unless you want to be known
as Mrs. Deadbeat Dad!

Just take it easy.

Just gonna talk louder?

Is that the plan?
You wanna just keep
raising your voice?

'Cause that's how you get
what you want, right?

You make a scene,
throw a tantrum, everyone
gets scared and backs off.

I don't work that way, lady.
I don't care that my husband

was so phenomenally stupid
and/or drunk
to have sex with you,

I'm not gonna
let it ruin my life!

Am I talking
loud enough for that
to get through to you?

I'm just gonna pay the bill.

Karl, we've been
through a lot together.

We will always be
connected by Julie, but...

I know why you bought me
that house, and I'm not
moving into it.

- Susie, come on. I...
- We are not
getting back together.

Not ever. You need to just
stop and realize that it's over.

I'm gonna marry Mike.

So I need you to sign these

because I have to be
divorced first.

Mike popped the question?

No, he was going to,

but then you clocked him
in the mouth with
a salad shooter, remember?

Actually, I'm gonna
pop the question to him
tomorrow night.

Guess it cuts down
on the suspense, knowing
he bought you a ring.

You would think so,
but, no, it doesn't.

This is a lot to ask
for a man who still
loves you, Susie.

I know.

But if you really do love me,

you'll let me go.

OK, Susie.
I can do that.

Well, you know
where to find me
if it doesn't work out.

Shut up.

I don't see another way
to make this work.

We've gotta dip
into the pensions.

I don't like the sound of that.

Well, it's that
or the kids' college fund.

We'll write Nora one big check,

and in return,
she'll sign away her claim
for the back child support.

If we're lucky, she'll take
the bird in the hand.

OK, what are we
talking about? How much?

We need to show her
we're serious.

- Thirty thousand.
- Are you kidding?
Thirty?

If she takes you to court,
we'll lose

and end up paying 11 years
of child support all at once.

- We could lose the house.
- We are screwed.

- We are just plain screwed.
- Tom.

I am trying very hard
to be strong right now.

And you melting down
is not helping me.

I'm sorry.

I know we're using up
a huge chunk of our savings,

but if it keeps her
out of our life,

it is the best money
we have ever spent.

We will be OK.

Hey there.

I was surprised to hear
you wanted a session.

Well, there's nothing
like being tied to a bed
to change a girl's mind.

- What do you want
to talk about?
- Anything at all.

As you said,
I have a lot of issues.

Well, I assumed as much when
you told the ridiculous story

about your daughter
running off with a murderer.

Saw right through that, did you?

Well, I'm a trained
professional, Bree.

The human mind is my playground.

Well, I'm glad
that you're having fun.

I'm sorry,
I don't mean to be flip.

But you came here
because you were troubled,

and then you refuse
any help we give you.

Things were falling apart
at home, and I just...

I just needed a place to rest.
That's all.

- I think there's
more to it than that.
- Do you?

I think it has to do
with your kids.

You don't want
to talk about them.

Why is that?

Probably because I'm ashamed.

- Ashamed?
- My children were my life.

They were the reason
I got up in the morning.

So to have failed them
as a parent...

You think you them
failed as a parent?

My son is a sociopath, and
my daughter hates me enough

to have run away from home.

I'm not gonna get
Mother of the Year soon.

If your kids were here right
now, what would you tell them?

I would beg my son Andrew
for forgiveness

for having given up on him.

And I would tell my daughter
not to worry.

That I have a plan
to protect her.

And just what is that plan?

So I've got everything
ready to go.

Flowers, candles,
Elvis Costello CD
all cued up.

- But who has the ring?
- He does.

You're gonna
get down on one knee,
pop the question

- and dig in his pocket?
- What if you pull out
his key chain?

I'll have to find a way
to force it on my finger.

Xiao Mei,
where'd you learn
to kiss like that?

Sorry. That's Penny's
baby monitor.

- It picks up weird frequencies.
- Oh, no, no!
Don't turn it off.

Oh, move over, my knees
are hitting the dashboard.

I move seat back.
Better?

Oh, yeah.

Are you done with my husband?

Good.

I have a little project for you.

OK, Gabby, can we please
talk about this?

You're the one that
gave me permission. You said
go have sex with somebody!

To have meaningless sex, Carlos!

Not to sleep with the woman
who's carrying our child!

What does it matter?
Look, we're even.

You had an affair,
I had an affair!

I had a reason.
You were never here!

I've been here, Carlos!

I have tried so hard
to not be selfish

and to put your needs
above mine.

I mean, for God sakes,
look at me!

I have agreed
to be a mother for you!

Look, Gabby, you have
every right to be mad at me.

I'm gonna go and
check into a hotel room
and let you cool down,

but we are going
to work this out.

Forget the hotel, Carlos.
Get a lease.

I can go now too?

No, you can start dinner.

What?

You're not going anywhere.

Not as long as you have
my baby in your belly.

I don't know what that meant,
but I didn't like the tone.

So just remember,
I am the boss of you.

Or else I'm gonna make this
the worst nine months
of your life.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Did you get the check?

Yeah, I wanted
to talk to you about that.

Do you have a minute?

Tom!

I'm not the type of person

that can keep things
bottled up inside.

- Really?
- So I'm gonna get this
off my chest.

You made me feel really bad
about myself yesterday
at the restaurant.

My sincerest apologies.

You treated me
like some mercenary.

Like the only reason
I came here was to extort
money from you.

Well, to be honest,
first we bought you pie,

then you tried
to extort money from us.

See, there it is again,
Lynette. That mean streak.

All I want is what's best
for my child, for Tom's child.

As the mother of 80 percent
of Tom's children,

I don't think it's
in their best interest

- for you to drive us
into bankruptcy.
- Of course it isn't.

There.

I signed the waiver

that the lawyer
sent over with the check.

And I'm not even asking
for any back child support.

That's great.
Thank you.

See, Lynette? See?
It's not all about money.

It's not even
a little bit about money.
It's about family.

'Cause we're all
a big family now.

Sort of.

Which is why I took all
the money that you gave me,

and I put it all down

on the sweetest little
two-bedroom house
over on Arden Drive.

Arden Drive over by the mall?

Like, five minutes
from here Arden Drive?

It's perfect. I can drop
Kayla off here anytime

so she can play
with her new siblings.

She can spend time with her dad.

Well, to be clear,
how are you going to live?

How are you going
to pay the mortgage?
You don't have a job here.

What is your problem
with me, lady?
I don't understand.

You don't know me.
You don't know
what I can do.

And yet you just always, just...

Just, just...

Always on the attack.
It's ugly, and you should
work on that.

Here's what I think.
I think that we should
all work on this

because I don't want
every Christmas
to turn ugly

just because you and I
don't get along.

Yeah, that would be a shame.

See? I told you
she wasn't home.
Her car's not even here.

Are you sure
the safe is upstairs?

Damn it. My mother must've
changed the combination.

OK, wait here.
I'll be right back.

You did it.

You killed Melanie.
You put your jacket
on her body.

I saw it, Matthew.

The police
showed me the pictures.

You weren't there.
You don't know what happened.

- Oh, God.
- Caleb hurt her.

Melanie threatened
to bring us all down.

So your solution
was to make your brother
think he murdered a girl?

- And to make me think it?
- What other choice
did I have?

I knew that you wouldn't hand
Caleb over to the police.

- I knew that
you would protect him.
- I would have protected you.

- Well, I really
couldn't count on that.
- Matthew...

You don't love me
as much as you love Caleb.

You never have.

Perhaps.

But it's because
he's needed me more.

You were always
going to find love
in the world.

Don't you understand?

He was only ever
going to get it from me.

You know,
I know you believe that.

That's why I've tried
so hard to forgive you.

And who knows?

Maybe one day I will.

911.
What is your emergency?

I need the police.

See? I told you
she had cash.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Danielle, I don't know
what you're planning,

but I need to talk
to you right now.

Give it up, Mom.
We're leaving.

I'm calling the police.

Do you remember that girl,
Melanie Foster?

Matthew is the one
who killed her.

I know you don't want us
to be together,

but that's the lamest thing
I've ever heard.

His mother told me
what happened. It's true.

Let's go, Danielle.

- Mom, please move.
- No. I gave up
on your brother,

and I'm not gonna make
that mistake with you.

We don't have time for this.

Where did you get that?
What are you doing?

Move away!

Danielle,

I want you to get out of
the house now. He's a killer.

- Shut up!
- Don't point that
at my mother!

Danielle!
I'm serious. Go.

What's wrong with you?
I'm gonna shoot you!

Matthew, stop it!

If that's what it takes...

- to get my daughter...
- Stop it!

To see who you really are...

Stop pointing that at my mother!

Then fine.

What are you doing?

- Do it.
- Stop!

Danielle.

It's OK, baby. Shh.

It's OK, baby.

Hey, it's just me again.

Um...

When you got the invitation,

I thought that you gave me
the thumbs up.

But I guess if that was actually

some other type
of finger gesture.

Well, I apologize for leaving
you all these messages

and wasting your time.

This is the street
where I used to live.

And these were the people
with whom I shared my life.

I met them
the day they moved in.

And I saw what they
brought with them.

Beautiful dreams
for the future...

and quiet hopes
for a better life...

not just for themselves,
but for their children too.

If I could, would I
tell them what lies ahead?

Would I warn them of the sorrow
and betrayal that lie in store?

No.

From where I stand now,
I see enough of the road

to understand
how it must be traveled.

The trick is
to keep moving forward.

To let go of the fear and
the regret that slow us down

and keep us from
enjoying a journey
that will be over too soon.

Yes, there will be
unexpected bends in the roads,

shocking surprises
we didn't see coming.

But that's really the point,

don't you think?

- Orson?
- Hey.

I wanted to come by
and see how you were doing
after your great escape.

These are for you.

How sweet and unexpected.

Do you wanna come in?

I'd love to.