Desperate Housewives (2004–2012): Season 2, Episode 16 - There Is No Other Way - full transcript

Previously on Desperate Housewives:

You put my kids in danger and lied.

- Do you have a problem with alcohol?
- Lynette asked a question...

I'm the one who was sleeping
with your son. But it's over now.

No, you're wrong.
It's not even close to being over.

...Gabrielle confessed...
- Here's your mail.

...while Noah's search for Zach...

I worry for that boy. What kind of
people'd buy a baby from a junkie?

...played into Felicia's plot...

See to it that Paul Young
has a toy chest of his very own.

...for revenge.



What made my husband,
Paul Young, such a good investor

was his uncanny ability
to anticipate the future.

Zach, how did you do this?

He foresaw the necessity
of the Velcro shoe.

He predicted the advent
of the three-dollar cup of coffee.

He even anticipated
the surprising boom in bottled water.

Yeah, it's Paul Young.

I've been reading about
the election results in Brazil.

It's time to buy sugar.

But the crystal ball that served Paul
so well in the stock market

sometimes failed him closer to home.

- Paul Young?
- Yeah.

Detective Sullivan.
You need to come in for questioning.

- About what?
- We're investigating reports



of credit card fraud and your name's
been linked with several of the victims.

There must be some mistake.

Could be, but we still need
to go downtown and straighten it out.

All right.

- How long is this gonna take?
- Don't worry. It's just a mix-up.

Let's go.

What's going on?
I thought you wanted to ask questions.

- That's after you're booked.
- Booked? Booked for what?

You can't book him here,
anyhow, detective.

Computers are down, we're all full up.

- You gotta take him to county.
- What is going on? This is crazy.

I want to call my lawyer!

What the hell do you guys
think you're doing?

This is ridiculous.

I get a phone call.

Yes, in the world of investments,

my husband had a remarkable ability
to see the future.

Got a message for you, Paul Young.

Deirdre's father said
to give you his regards.

But sadly,
Paul didn't see this one coming at all.

Bree Van De Kamp had a weekly routine
she'd been following for years.

She cleaned on Tuesdays.

She paid her bills on Wednesdays.

She did her laundry on Thursdays.

And after these daily chores
were completed,

she would reward herself
with a little drink.

What Bree didn't know
was this latest addition to her routine

had been noticed by her friends.

And it had now become part
of their routine to discuss it.

So apparently Bree had
a few too many and passed out.

Next thing I know, I get a call at work.

- Someone found my kids on the street.
- Oh, my God.

- Have you seen Bree since?
- No. I'm worried about her,

but I don't know how I'm
gonna get over what she did.

Hey, Bree. How're you doing today?

I'm really well.

I just saw you all talking
before Lynette went off to work.

What were you all talking about?

Oh, nothing really. Carlos
and I see the adoption counsellor today.

Checking myself into the hospital.
I'm gonna get that surgery.

Good for you.

Did Lynette mention
the little tiff we had?

- Just in passing.
- She barely mentioned it.

Because what happened was I accidentally
mixed my antihistamine medication

with a little glass of wine
I was having,

and I fell asleep, you know,
while I was watching her kids.

I mean,
I like a little wine with dinner.

I mean, now and then. Who doesn't?

But, I mean, you know,
to trash my entire reputation...

Oh, she didn't trash you, honest.

Well, good. I mean, I just... I wouldn't
want you to get the wrong impression.

I'm going to the mall,
they're having a white sale today.

I think I'm gonna get a new bathmat.

Oh, does anyone need one?

- I'm good.
- OK. Take care.

Wow, did you smell the alcohol
on her breath?

I sure did.

Then our Eskimo turns
into camera and says,

"Polar Fresh Mints will give
your breath an A-plus too."

So, what do you think?

It feels a little familiar.

Really? I don't think so.

The Lowell Group used Eskimos
in a commercial last month. Remember?

This is different. Those
were Eskimos competing in the Iditarod.

Ours is trying
to patch things up with his wife.

Yeah, no, I get the subtle distinction.

I think we can do better. OK?

So, Sally, you're up.
What do you got for me?

- Hey.
- Hey.

"I got the subtle distinction"?
What was that about?

If you really want to do this now,
shut the door.

OK, I was a little bitchy. But you know
why? You did a half-assed job in there.

You may not like it,
but you can't say I didn't work.

Oh, please, I live with you.

Last night, when you should've
been making that work,

- you were watching the game.
- I wasn't!

- I saw you!
- OK, now I can't check the score?

You gave your heart and soul
to that Eskimo pitch?

- I worked really hard on that pitch.
- Did you give it a hundred per cent?

Well, exactly. So, big deal.
Go work up some new ideas

and then we'll
go over it during lunch. OK?

You're the boss.

Yes, I am.

- Hey.
- Susan.

Good to see you again.

I'm really looking forward
to your surgery.

I'm really hoping you're a leftie.

Nope. I can't even write my name.

But that's what I get for throwing
my kid a roller-skating party.

Funny. So, what about my surgery?

Oh, I'll still do it.

With Dr Ron's help, of course.

Dr Cunningham'll be standing beside me.

My hands and his brain,
you got the best of us.

Then I'm on board.

We're keeping you under observation,
so hopefully we'll operate tomorrow.

If you don't mind, I'd like
a minute to consult with my patient.

Oh, right, your little thing.

What little thing?

Well, it was going
to be a surprise, but...

Oh, my God. They're beautiful.

Look, I've been thinking
about us a lot lately.

Putting this operation behind us
and where we'll go from there.

Our future... together.

I suck at putting my emotions into
words, which is why I wrote it all down.

There's a card.

But you can't read it.
Not while I'm here, anyway.

It's way too stressful.

I'm going to go now.

Wow.

Wow.

He's so romantic.

May I?

Oh, it's sort of private.

Well, I did help him
pick out the flowers.

OK.

There's more on the back.

So how does this work?
Do we flip through a catalogue?

I wish it was that easy.

You have to understand, for every baby,
there are ten couples who want it.

You don't choose your child,
the birth mother chooses you.

Really?

So, what do you think our chances are?
We will do anything that we need to do.

Your typical birth mother
is usually a young girl.

She'll make sure you're quality people.

To show her that, you'll be
putting together a parent portfolio.

- What's that?
- Family pictures,

character references, that stuff.

So we're auditioning to be parents?

I guess you could say that.

So, just to be clear, some
slutty cheerleader gets knocked up

by the soccer coach
behind the local Gas 'N Gulp

and she is going to make sure
we're quality people?

You don't need to answer that.

You don't have to hide it from me.

Your drinking, it doesn't bother me.

I wasn't hiding anything.

I was simply enjoying the day.

- What did you want?
- Well, Mason was my ride to school.

And his dad's moving them
to Tucson, so...

Well, if you need a ride to school,
I'm happy to drive you.

No, that's not what I want.
I want a car.

Well, then I suggest you get a job.

Why should I go work
in some fast-food place

when I can already afford what I want?

We're not touching your trust fund.

- It's my money.
- Not until you're 21.

If I had my way,
you wouldn't get it until you're 50.

I mean, we both know you're
gonna waste every penny of it.

Why are you being like this?

Because, sweetheart, it is my job
to teach you about responsibility.

Setting goals. Delayed gratification.

What do you know
about delayed gratification?

It's not even noon
and you're on your third glass of wine.

On second thought,
I won't be driving you to school.

- The walk will do you good.
- Mom, I'm not kidding around.

- I want my money!
- The answer is no!

Well, aren't we a mean, old drunk.

Whatever that was supposed to teach me,
consider the lesson learned.

What are you doing here?

I'm enjoying the silky,
smooth moves of Dr Ron.

- Or should I say, Dr Love?
- Give me that.

This is my favourite.

"I can't wait to be in the operating
room with you so I can touch your heart,

because you've already
touched mine so deeply."

That sounds better
when you don't read it out loud.

What are you doing reading it?
Those are Dr Ron's private thoughts.

Yeah, I got that. You know,
I sense that he really likes you, Susie.

- So?
- So, do you really like him?

Of course I do.
He's smart and funny and kind.

Smart, funny, kind.
I don't hear the word "love" in there.

Well, that's a big word.
We just started dating.

And we have a connection
and I'm gonna follow it through

- and see where it goes.
- Oh, I get it.

You'll string him along
till you feel something you don't,

and waste the next five years
of your life.

As opposed to the 12 I wasted on you?

Why are we talking about this?
I don't recall asking you your opinion.

Because we're married
and I have certain rights,

and one of them
is the right to badger you.

- OK, you know, you can leave now.
- I wish I could MRI your soul.

Out!

Not funny.

Watch out for my wife. She's on a tear.

Oh, here's one we took on vacation.

These pictures have to be wholesome.

They gotta say, "These people
will do a great job raising a child."

- So?
- So you're topless.

Yeah, but it's St. Barts.

And your hands are covering
my naughty parts.

The hand that's holding
the tequila shot,

or the one that's holding
the Cuban cigar?

- Yeah, that was a good trip.
- Gabby!

- Fine, we won't use it.
- We can't use any of them!

Every single picture of the two of us,
we're drinking or smoking or naked.

We like to have fun.
Who doesn't understand better

than an unwed, knocked-up teenager?

This is serious. If we can't
sell ourselves as good people...

Well, then we'll just have
to find someone who can do it for us.

So you want me to pitch you as parents?

You're in advertising, you can do it.

Just write us a character reference
saying we're great with kids.

And this is for you.

You don't have to bribe me,
we're all friends here.

Keeping that in mind, would it also
be OK if we were your kids' godparents?

- I guess.
- Great,

and can we take some
fake pictures to document it?

I don't suppose you brought a corkscrew?

He didn't have a warrant, and you
arrest him, then you gotta tell me...

- Hello, Mike.
- Felicia, what are you doing here?

Oh, I left in such a rush.

There was a lot of old business
I forget to wrap up.

It must be pretty important business,

gets you to move next to the man
you think murdered your sister.

It's funny you should mention Paul.

You know, the police came
and took him away last night.

The police?

And from the way
they were manhandling him,

I don't think he'll
be back anytime soon.

I just want to talk to him, that's all.

- What the hell's going on?
- It's none of your concern, Mike.

Listen to me.
If anything happens to Paul Young...

It already happened. Hours ago.

He's dead?

Like I said, it's none of your concern.

Maybe you do don't get it, Noah.
You screwed up.

You killed the most important person
in your grandson's life.

Do you think he'll have anything
to do with you once he finds out?

And believe me,
I'll make sure he finds out.

So, honey, the meat loaf,
it's a little burnt.

Oh, right.
I was talking to Susan on the phone

and I left it in longer
than I should have. Sorry.

That's OK.

- Is it that bad?
- No. No, not bad at all.

Good. Parker, don't put
your elbows on the table. Go on.

You'd agree it wasn't your best effort.

The meal.
The task you agreed to take on.

You'd agree that you didn't
give it a hundred per cent, right?

Tom, if you're gonna make a point, do
it now, before I hurl the plate at you.

Nobody gives a hundred per cent
all the time, because it is impossible.

You do the best with the time
and energy that you have.

Stop right there. This is meat loaf.

Your presentation was business.

You're saying the client deserves
more effort than your own family?

OK. So if I apologise
for upsetting you at work,

can we get past it and enjoy our meal?

Absolutely.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am sorry.
- Thanks.

So, boys,
how do you enjoy the meat loaf?

- It's a little salty.
- Yeah.

Just eat it.

There. Perfect.

All right.

All right, one more time.

- What?
- Yeah.

- I don't want to mess up your face.
- Do you love me?

Then do what I tell you.

- Rough day.
- Yeah.

I wonder if there's any way
that we can turn it around still.

Good question.

- But what to do? What to do?
- Yeah.

Hi. What's up?

- Why do you keep trying to do that?
- What?

- You're trying to get on top.
- Of you? No, I'm not.

You were pushing on me,
like you were trying to sack me.

You serious?

Tom, I wasn't doing anything,
I was just going for it.

I was just lost in the moment.
Oh, come on.

Come on. This is silly.
I don't want to argue.

I mean, unless it turns you on. Does it?

Because then I'm all about it, baby.

Come here.

What was that? What?

- What was what?
- You were bracing.

You were bracing with your leg.

I was trying to lie on top,
you were bracing against the mattress

so you didn't have to get on your back.

Try and deny it.
Try and deny it. You can't.

OK. Can I mention
you're talking like a crazy person?

You can't give it up for a second.

You always have
to call the shots. Always!

Is this about me being your boss again?
You gotta get over it.

That's exactly my point. Exactly.

You are not just my boss at the office.
You're my boss everywhere.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

You run the show! You run the show,
and I'm along for the ride.

I just push the little shopping cart,
let the woman do all the driving.

- Tom...
- I'm the caddy husband.

I carry your clubs.

I am so sorry you feel that way,

but you cannot put that on me.

This is your life.

You wanna run it, then step on up.

You want to drive,
grab the steering wheel.

I mean, what else am I supposed to say?

I'm gonna check on the kids.

- Time to check your blood pressure.
- Oh, sure.

That's tight.
Does it have to be that tight?

Yes.

OK. That's actually starting
to be painful.

Really? That surprises me.

I just assumed you were dead inside.

What the hell are you doing?

I told myself to stay out of this,
but I can't.

- I know that you're married.
- I am not.

Really?

Because that man who came to see
you yesterday said you're his wife.

Oh, no, no. He just said that
because we used to be married.

- Force of habit.
- That explains everything.

I checked your insurance forms
and you're married.

So that makes you
a lying, adulterous skank.

No, no, no, Nurse Hisel! No, Nurse...

Nurse Hisel!

Nurse...

Oh, God. Come on.

Nurse...

- Nurse Hisel, I can explain.
- Can you, skank?

Yes! OK, I am married.

But it's only
because my insurance ran out.

My ex-husband
has a really good coverage plan,

so he said that he would remarry me
so I could get my operation.

I didn't tell Dr Ron because I didn't
want him to be an accomplice to fraud.

So, you're, what, protecting him?

Yeah. Yes, I am.

OK. As long
as you're not two-timing him.

- He feels so strongly about you.
- I know, I read the card.

- But did you read between the lines?
- What do you mean?

OK. I shouldn't be telling you this,

but when we were
picking out the flowers for you,

he said that he was working up
the courage to say he loves you.

- Really?
- Yes.

- But you have to act surprised, OK?
- Oh, yeah, I'll be surprised.

So I guess we have
the whole insurance thing worked out?

Oh, don't worry about that!

Please. Who am I to cast stones?

I mean, heck,
I didn't pass my nurse's exam.

They didn't even ask me!

Andrew, did I hear the bell?

- Oh, hello.
- I'm Samuel Bormanis.

- I'm here to see Andrew.
- Oh, OK.

- Are you a friend of Andrew's?
- I'm his lawyer.

His lawyer? Why on earth
would Andrew need a lawyer?

Here you go, Sam.

Honey, what happened to... to your face?

You hit me. Don't you remember?

For the record, I did not punch my son.
I slapped him. With an open palm.

Yeah, but Mom,
the thing is, when you drink,

- you don't know your own strength.
- This is ridiculous!

Can you see this is a performance?

Mrs Van De Kamp, I've heard enough.

This environment
is a highly dysfunctional one.

Andrew has retained my services in order
to pursue a healthier living situation.

- And what might that be?
- I... I want to be emancipated.

Emancipated?

As an emancipated minor,
Andrew would live on his own.

He'd still go to school, but he'd be
released from all adult supervision.

Well, that's the silliest thing
I've ever heard of.

How would he support himself?

Well, he'd be in complete control
of his own finances.

So that's what this is about?
Your trust fund?

Obviously, we'd all prefer
not to go to family court.

But with the violence
and your DUI charge,

it could get ugly.

I'll need a little time
to think about this.

You have 24 hours.

Boy, it really looks like
we're having a good time.

I sure hope this works.

As long as they don't make me
play guitar, we're home free.

Mr and Mrs Solis,
Rhoda can see you now.

OK, thank you.

Wow.

It looks like you spend
lots of time with these kids.

We take our roles as godparents
very seriously. Don't we, honey?

Yes.

They're precious. What are their names?

Parker and... Porter...

...and...

Well, they're all P's. It is super-cute.

One sec. Do you need me, Helen?

Hello, Gabrielle. Carlos.

I didn't know you were adopting.

Preston.
The other one's name is Preston.

Helen, you work here?

You all know each other?
What a small world.

It sure is. Mrs Solis hired my son
to do her yard work.

And also, she would rape him.

OK, first of all, it was statutory.
And it happened so long ago.

Was it? I think it was only
about a year ago.

No, it was a year because
it was right before your husband

went to prison on slave labour charges.

Rhoda, if you don't mind, I think
I'll handle the Solis case myself.

- I'd like to make it my top priority.
- OK.

Oh, and don't bother trying to contact
any other adoption agencies in the area.

I'll make sure they know all about you.

I think I have to break up with Dr Ron.

What? Why?

Because he's a gem.
And, apparently, he loves me.

I'm sorry, I'm not following.

Lynette, he's everything
I could possibly want in a boyfriend,

and I just don't know
if I feel that... spark.

- You know, and I really want to.
- Sweetie...

He keeps telling me how special I am
and how much I mean to him

and how he wants to hold
my beating heart in his hand.

Maybe it's because I just
haven't felt that thunderbolt yet.

You know, with Mike, it hit me.
With Karl, it hit me.

I didn't have to worry about how I felt
because the thunderbolt told me.

Yeah, yeah, gotta love the thunderbolt.

Do I, though? I mean,
I do, but I don't trust it anymore.

Those relationships
turned out to be disasters.

Maybe I should stick it out
with Dr Ron,

and I should try heading
down a road that's growing and slower,

into a sort of, kind of love that would
sustain itself for 50 years. Right?

Stability, comfort, endurance,
I deserve that.

Oh, yes, of course you do.

- Still, you gotta love the thunderbolt.
- That's not helpful.

Sorry.

- This is a sign.
- Will you shut up?

We lost a baby,
found out we can't conceive

and ran into Helen Rowland
at an adoption agency.

God is trying to tell us something.

Carlos, we're Catholics.
God is pretty Johnny One Note

on the whole subject of procreation.

Will you stop
with this defeatist attitude?

- OK, do you want a baby or not?
- I think it's time we face reality.

We're bad people who probably
don't deserve to be parents.

Well, then who the hell does?

I mean, look at all
the idiots popping out kids.

OK, they're not any more
qualified than we are.

- I don't know.
- Look, Carlos,

it doesn't matter what we've done.

Being a parent
means rising to the occasion.

That's exactly what we're gonna do
when we bring our baby home.

This is the first time I've really felt
like you wanted to have a baby.

Well, this is the first time
someone told me I couldn't have one.

OK, so, what are we gonna do?

No adoption agency's
gonna touch us now.

There are ways to get babies.
It just might cost us.

I have some contacts
in the police department.

I've been making calls,
but I can't to get an answer.

- How do they just lose somebody?
- They don't, not by accident.

I don't think what happened
was an accident.

What is that supposed mean?

Zach!

- Mrs Tillman.
- Hello, Zachary. You look terrible.

Oh, Mr Delfino.

Isn't this just a picture?

Felicia, why are you here?

Young Zachary and I didn't
exactly part on the best of terms.

In fact, when the weather's damp,
I'm still reminded of our last goodbye.

But forgive and forget.
That's my motto. Macaroon?

Dad!

You're all right?

Now, how'd you know I love macaroons?

It won't end here, you know.
Noah Taylor doesn't give up.

Don't worry. We'll be gone by morning.

No, it's too late for that now.
He's got people watching you.

What is it with you?

You wanted me to run, now you want us
to stick around like sitting ducks.

Go ahead. Run.
Noah's got the cops in his pocket.

What do you think will happen
when you buy gas with a credit card,

or open a new bank account?

So I'm a dead man?

Maybe not.

- Not if we use what leverage we have.
- No way.

The old man's gonna be dead
in a couple of months, maybe less.

Let him meet Zach,
play the doting grandfather...

- I said forget it.
- I'll do it.

If it means he'll leave us alone,
I'm ready to be leveraged.

Nicholson will be in
in 15 minutes for the pitch,

so let's grab everybody and make sure
we're all on the same page.

Hang on a second.

What's going on?

- I need to say this.
- Oh, yeah.

Look, I've been giving you a lot
of grief lately about being the boss,

but it's just hard for a guy
to feel like he's not in charge

- of any part of his life.
- But honey, it goes back and forth.

I know. But it just feels
a little one-sided lately,

and sometimes I need to drive the train.

But, look, I know it is my issue.
It's my issue.

And I will step up and deal with it.

Hello. What's going on?

We're picking up
where we left off... last night.

Oh, I get it. I get it.

This is your idea of driving the train.

And it's very manly
and really impressive,

but it's really, really bad timing.

You can't be serious.

- We're gonna... We're gonna be late.
- Yeah.

We are going to be late.

OK.

Nothing's more important than family.

I think it's unfair some are denied
their God-given right to parent

just because of a few
sordid incidents in their past.

Now, I may have to explore some
unconventional paths to find your child.

I might even have to take actions
some might view as unsavoury.

But before I do,

I need proof that
the two of you are prepared

to face the challenges ahead.

Twenty thousand dollars.

Is that proof enough for you?

Yes, it is.

It's nice to meet you, young man.

I'm not gonna hug you.
I don't care if you are my grandfather.

That's OK.
Hugging's not really my thing.

Mike, could you wait outside?
I'd like to be alone with Zachary.

Not a chance.

Just curious,

- why was it so important you see me?
- You're my grandson.

My flesh and blood.

Isn't it only natural
I'd want a relationship with you?

What kind of relationship can we have
when I know you tried to kill my dad?

Surely, you can understand the rage
I must feel towards your father.

Go ahead,
feel all the rage you want to feel.

If anything happens to him, I swear to
God, you are never gonna see me again.

You only met me two minutes ago,

and here you are,
already blackmailing me.

- I couldn't be prouder.
- I'm serious.

Swear you're not
gonna do anything to my dad.

Which dad? You have two of them.

You know who I'm talking about. My dad.

The man who raised me. The only man
I'm ever gonna care about.

So swear.

I swear. Well, now that
the ground rules have been set,

who's up for some
meaningless small talk?

Well, if it isn't the plumber.
You here to see Susie?

Yeah. I just wanted to talk to her
before her operation.

You're cutting it kind of close.
She's about to be wheeled into surgery.

- You know she's dating her surgeon.
- Yeah, she told me.

- You met him?
- Yeah. He's, like, six years old.

Those for her?

Yeah. The florist
was having a sale on lilacs.

Dr Ron just bought her the biggest
bouquet of roses you've ever seen.

It was disgusting. The note that
went with it made my teeth hurt,

it was so saccharin. He used words
like "soul mate" and "eternity."

- I almost puked in the vase.
- What did Susan think about that?

She seemed to be really into it.

Mike. Oh, wait, stop. Go back.

Stop, stop for a second. Hey!

What are you doing here?

I just wanted to wish you luck
before your surgery.

Oh, that's so sweet.

You came all the way
down here just for me?

Yep. That's why I came.

It means a lot to me that you came.

- Well, you take care, Susan.
- OK.

Bye.

- You forgot to give her your flowers.
- Yeah, it's no big deal.

Hi, Susan.

Are those drugs working?
You feeling good?

Super-duper. How you feeling?

Well, I want you to know,
what I said the other day,

that corny stuff about me holding
your heart in my hands...

Well, what I meant to say was,

my feelings for you, they keep growing.

And I think... Well, I hope
that you feel the same way about me.

Hell, Susan. I love you.

Thank you.

I love Mike.

Mike? Susan, who's Mike?

Mike is love.

Who the hell is Mike?

I don't know, but she's married to Karl!

I'm so, so sorry.
I should have told you, Dr Ron.

Mike, Mike, Mike...

Why are you always
falling in love with skanks?

You beautiful, beautiful man!

OK, we ready to go here?

Yeah. Sure.

Let's cut this bitch open.

What are you doing?

Your lawyer left
a message on my machine.

It seems we have a hearing
in four weeks, and I want to be ready.

Oh, I get it. So, you're gonna
pretend to be sober for the judge.

Oh, there's no pretending.

I am going to my first
AA meeting tomorrow.

I picked one in the worst part of town

so I won't run into anybody I know,
which, of course, means I will.

All right, so, what is that gonna prove?

Perception is reality.

If people perceive me to have
a drinking problem, then I do.

And I certainly
don't want some idiotic judge

using my hobby
as an excuse to make you rich.

So I'm simply going to give up my wine

and become a recovering alcoholic.

Good plan. But it'll never work.

See, I'll bet you still
end up coming to court hammered.

Oh, Andrew. You don't think
I love you enough to give up alcohol?

Look, I'm 17, all right?

So you can only
keep me here for another year.

Why not just let me go?

Because I'm not done with you yet.

It's my job to teach you, and you
are not half the man I know you can be.

Well, I got news for you.
This is as good as I get.

If I really thought that, I'd get
a gun right now and kill us both.

Mom, we're both so unhappy.

Why not just let me take my trust fund
and I'll get out of your hair forever.

Please.

You're a stone cold bitch,
you know that?

I'm sorry. I didn't quite catch that.

I hate you.

You know,
the opposite of love isn't hate.

It's indifference.

And if you hate me,
that means you still care.

And we're still connected.

And I still have
a chance to set you right.

This is how Bree Van De Kamp
finally came

to change her weekly routine.

She still cleaned on Tuesdays,

paid her bills on Wednesdays

and did her laundry on Thursdays.

But her Fridays
were now reserved for a meeting.

A special meeting where she stood
in front of people she didn't know.

My name is Bree. And I am an alcoholic.

And said things she didn't believe.

And afterwards, Bree would come home
and reward herself...

...on the completion
of another successful week.