Desperate Housewives (2004–2012): Season 2, Episode 15 - Thank You So Much - full transcript

previously on "Desperate Housewives"

why don't I just marry you?

I've gota fantastic health plan.

You'd be covered instantly.

susan got an offer she couldn't afford to refuse.

You've had too much to drink.Give me your keys.

Bree rejected a helping hand.

I want to have a babywith you.

Gaby gave carlos the answer he'd been waiting for.

You're my second a-b negativetoday.

-Oh,who is it?
-That guy.



And zach began to put "a" and "b" together.

Susan mayer had always believed

the punishment should fit the crime.

She first came to this conclusion

when she discovered her husband karl
had been unfaithful.

Since karl had destroyed the love she
had given him...

Susan felt it was appropriate

she destroy the things he loved in return...

one by one.

but now,three years after their divorce,

susan was reunited with karl once again...

susan,

are you listening to me?

As partners in a crime of their own.



This is insurance fraud.
We could both go to jail.

Now we can't tell anyone
we're getting married.

I know.I was listening to you.

Now the prenup'sall set.

You can sign itat the courthouse.

11:30,wednesday morning.Right?

Right. And your surgery'sstill
on for thursday?

Yep.

Good. The insurance kicks inthe
minute we say "I do."

You're set to go.

I know no one's asking me,but

I think this whole thing
is a tragic mistake,

and I just don't have it in meto
survive another ugly divorce.

Don't worry,honey.This time,
it is strictly a business arrangement.

It better be,

'cause if I see so muchas one lingering gaze
between the two of you,

I swear I'll go
to the insurance companyand turn you in.

So we shouldn't expecta wedding gift,huh?

Oh,can you grab meyour wedding ring?

I wanna get it cleanedbefore the ceremony.

is thatreally necessary?

I mean,do we have to dothe whole ring thing?

Of course we do.It's gotta look believable.

Yeah,okay.Well,I'll just

grab somethingout of my jewelry box.

Susan,that ringwas my grandmother'S.

One day it's gonna be julie'S.

Where is it?

I don't know...

exactly.

That was a family heirloom.
I trusted you with it.

Well,I trusted you not tocheat
on me and break my heart.

Oh,my god. Oh,my god.

What--what did you do with it?

I threw it out my car windowsomewhere on route 7.

What?! When?

The nightyou abandoned me.

Suz--

karl,you are so not allowed
to get angry.

I mean,I might've been the oneto
throw away the wedding ring,

but you threw awaythe whole marriage.

There was plenty of bad
behaviorthat went on back then,

so just get offyour high horse.

We're on the same page now,
so we shouldjust focus on that.

yes,susan mayer believed the punishment
should fit the crime.

Karl,I thinkthere might be snakes in here.

We're not leaving hereuntil you find that ring.

But for that matter,so did karl.

so did karl.

it was a tradition
at leonardo's bar and grill,

an hour before closing time,

a waiter would sing a selection
of ridiculously depressing italian arias.

It was also a tradition that the only
customers who would actually listen

were the ones already depressed
to begin with.

tony?

Do you have to rush off?

I thought maybe we could
just chat for a minute.

So I haven't seen you
in a while.

Well,I didn't wanna come here
because I was afraid

it would drudge up memories
of my husband.

You know,
this was our place.

Rex passed away recently.

He was,um,murdered

by our pharmacist.

I hope you changed
pharmacists.

I didn't have to.
He committed suicide.

Look,you've had
a little too much wine tonight.

How about
I call you a cab?

Oh,no,no,no,no.
I'm okay.

Your car would be safe
in our lot,

and you can pick it up
tomorrow.

Please.

Well,okay.

Tony?

How many more arias
is he gonna sing?

Five.

Oh. In that case,

why don't you bring me another bottle
of the pinot grigio?

and please hurry.

bree?

Bree.

You okay?

yes?

Hi. Uh,

did you know your mother
is asleep on the lawn?

Yeah,well,you don't seem
terribly shocked.

Oh,it's,um...

it's just,mom drinks,

and sometimes she sleeps it off
in the weirdest places.

Can I help you with her?

No. No,it's okay.

I,uh,I know how
to take care of her.

Well,good luck
to you then.

I wanna play "chopsticks."

-Me too.
-You okay?

I'm coming!

-hi.
-Hi.

Your kids--they have any allergies
I should know about?

Uh,not that I know of. Why?

'Cause I'm watching them.

Tom called,said you both got pulled
into work for the weekend,

asked me to baby-sit.

Really?

I thought it'd be nice
if I gave 'em back to you alive.

oh,hey,mrs. Mccluskey.

-Sorry,I forgot to tell you.
-Hi.

Oh,that's okay. Um...

would you excuse me just
for a second? I have A...

thing.

-Sure.
-Thanks.

Follow me.

You're part of the thing.

A million teenagersin this neighborhood,
and you hire mccluskey?

What's the big deal?

Well,for starters,she's ancient!

shh!This is a thin door!

It was not that long agothat
she keeled over in her front yard.

A day withour kids will finish the job.

It's only for a few hours.

Plus,parker's on a play datewith the
farrells,so it's justthe twins and penny.

Just the twins and penny?

Okay,that was stupid.

Let me try that another way.

We have to be at workin one hour.

There's no day careon the weekends,

so you cut mccluskey loose,we're stuck.

We will find someone--

someone who doesn't rememberwhat
they were doing the day lincoln was shot.

Fine.

Let's go break the news.

My wife has somethingto tell you.

So here's the deal.

Um,there wasa little miscommunication,
and as it turns out,

we don't need ya.

Okay.

Fine.I'll just go back home.

Okay. Sorry.

By the way,

your husband was right.

It's a thin door.

Carlos,what are you doing?

Hello,gabriela.

Oh.

Hi,mom.

I just told carlosI just had to take a shower.

The man next to me on the
planeweighed 300 pounds,

and he sweated all over me.

Ugh,it was so gross.

No,I'm just surprisedyou're here.

It's valentine's day.

Don't you and mr. Hedge fundhave plans?

I know carlos and I do.

No,I left charles.

What?

He was worth,like,$6 million.

Money is not everything,gabriela.

For some people,
but we're talkingabout you now,mother.

You know,I can't believe this.
I mean,I just went througha terrible breakup,

and the least you could dois pretend to care.

Well,of course we feel awfulabout it,
don't we,gabrielle?

Yeah,we're justsick about it.

Well,don't worry about me.

I'll be okay.

In fact,

I bought myselfa little gift
to take my mindoff my problems.

Really?What did you buy?

new boobs!

No peeking,carlos.

Okay,mom,put these away!

My plastic surgeongave me a great deal.

Aren't they fun?

bye,carlos.

What?I think she's charming.

Okay,you can thinkshe's charming.

But don't forget for one
secondthat she is a monster.

did you get the gum outfrom
under the diamond?

Mostly.

Morning.

Hi!Happy valentine's day.

Dr. Ron,did you spend the night?

Well,uh,yeah,I gotkinda tired after the movie,
so I asked--

it's okay. She knowsthat
you make house calls.

Oh. Um,so listen,I've got surgery till 6.

I'll get dressed and
I'll pickyou up at about 7.

We have reservations
at chez naomi.

Great! I'll havea light lunch.

And also,dr. Cunningham'sschedule opened up,
so if you'd like,

we can move upyour surgery to wednesday.

Oh,I have a wedding
that day.

On a wednesday?

yeah.

wednesdays are becomingvery
popular with brides.

It's like the new saturday.

Okay.

Well...

I'll see ya tonight.

Bye.

Your mother isa rotten,sneaky person.

Look,

I'm not too crazy aboutthis
whole fake marriage thing,but

if you don't havethat operation,
you could die.

So don't be so hardon yourself.

You are a good person.

Thanks,hon.That really helps.

Okay,now I want youto go over
and slip this ringto your father.

And just so you know,if edie catches you,

I'm expecting youto swallow it.

How's the hangover?

I do not have a hangover,andrew,

because I was not drunk.

Then,uh...

how abouta little hair of the dog?

It'll perk you right up.

Look,for the record,

I had an allergic reactionto
my antihistamine medication,

so I would appreciatejust
a little bit of sympathy.

Why can't you just drink alonein
your room like tammy's mom?

For god sakes,it was an honest mistake.

I thought I could have
just a little bit of winewith dinner,

but,apparently,my body couldn't handle it.

Fine!

If it makes everybody happy,

I will just suffer through
my sneezing fitsand my hives on my own.

there. Is that better?

So basicallyyou would rather drink
than to not haveallergies?

hi. Is now a bad time?I could really use a favor.

She was beautiful,wasn't she?

Yeah.

Come on,sit down.Your breakfast is getting cold.

Was my real motherbeautiful?

Well,she was,uh,

attractive,as I recall.

Do I look like her?

I don't know.I-I only met her once.

Well,'cause ifI don't look like her,then

I might look likemy real dad.

I'm getting real tiredof your morbid fascination

with two strangers who didn'tlove
you enough to keep you.

So,please,stop asking about them.

It's only natural that I'd wannatalk
about my birth parents.

Well,

it may be natural,

but it certainlyisn't polite.

and onceyour daughter was dead,they

had to get ridof her somehow.

That's wherethe toy chest came in.

Flash forward 15 years,

the chest washes upon the shore of rockwater lake.

Any forensic evidenceis long gone,

and the youngsget away with murder.

Now,of course,the wife,

mary alice,is already dead,but...

paul young'sa different matter.

If you'd like meto deal with him,

just say the word.

Delfino's bringingmy grandson here.

I wannaget the kid something.

You know anythingabout those mp3 things?

Yeah,they're real nice.

I'd go with that.

Ah,he's probablygot one already.

Paul younghas had 16 years
to get my grandkidanything he wants.

Do me a favor,will ya?

Yeah.

See to it that

paul young
has a toy chestof his very own.

-karl!
-yeah?

This placeis a freakin' pigsty.

Would you get down hereand help me?

All right,hold on,it's almost halftime.

By the way,I made dinner reservations
at chez naomi tonight,if that's okay.

it's gotta be betterthan that rathole
you took me toon new year'S.

And don't even think
of getting me carnations again.

That crap might have flownfor mayer.

I actually have taste.

Come on! Move it!

all right,I'm coming.

No! No,no,no.

Sit and watch the game.
I was just giving youa hard time.

You'd had a tough week.

Boys...

can you just keep it downjust a little bit?

Because I have a very...

special typeof grown-up headache.

We need to see mommy and daddy.

We wanna play 'em our song.

Honey,you can'T.They're at work.

Well,can we play itfor you?

Sure.

just--just a moment,okay?

All right,boys,let's have it.

When I heard that you twowanted
to try for another child,

I was delighted.

But I had some causefor concern.

Gabrielle,you sufferedsome extensive injuries

during your falllast month,and

the test confirmedthere are complications.

You can't have kids?

Well,the doctor's not100% positive,but

it's very,very iffy.

Carlos,I am so sorry.

I know how muchyou wanted to be a dad.

Thanks.

Don't be so suicidal.We can always adopt.

I wanted to have a childof our own.
You know that.

What does it matterwhose D.N.A. It is?

The diapers are still gonnasmell
the same regardless.

I'd just prefernot to adopt. Okay?

Fine.

What about surrogacy?

I mean,I know it's pricey,
but at least the babywould look like us,

and I wouldn't getstretch marks.
It's a win-win.

Great.

So then we havesome stranger off the street
giving birth to our child.

Is that what you really want?

What I wantis for you to lighten up.

We don't havea lot of options,
and you're gonna have to pick one.

I-I have a thought. Mm?

Well,it's,uh,a little bit controversial,
but,uh,go with me.

Well,first of all,let me tell you,

that I am in the best shapeof my life.

-So?
-So...

what if I wasyour surrogate?

Yeah,I know. I knowit might
sound a little crazy,

but I am the only onein the world

that you can trustto put
the baby's needs first.

You know,I'll exercise more,I'll eat better--

mother,no!

Why?

Off the top of my head,you're on medicare?

I am only fifty... one.

You know,and there's
this womanin england last year.

She was 63 years old,and she gave birth
to her own grandchild.

Look,I don't care if
she shottriplets out of her ass.

It's not gonna happen.

Can you believe this?

How'd thatengland baby turn out?

I mean,it didn't have,like,
a big head or anything,did it?

Carlos,you are notseriously considering this.

Well,think about it,gaby.

This way,the surrogate wouldn'tbe
some impersonal incubator.

There'd be a family tie.

I have a migraine.

I'm gonna go lay down upstairs.

Then when I get up,

I hope we can all talk aboutthis
like rational human beings.

Carlitos,don't worry.

Just give her time.

She'll come around.

boys?

Boys?

Okay,we're done playinghide-and-seek!

Boys?!

Porter! Preston!

This isn't funny!

Mrs. Mccluskey,hi.

Have you seenthe scavo boys?

No,can't saythat I have. Why?

I have somethingto tell them.

Have they signedthe contract?

'Cause if not,somebody should call bednark
and tell them to adjust the language.

oh. I'm sorry. Hang on.Hello?

lynette scavo?

Yes.

I believe I have somethingthat belongs to you.

hi. Excuse me.Hi. You called
and you said my kids are here?

hi,mommy!

-Oh,my god!
-Dad!

Just what were you thinking,
taking off like that?

honey,I was so worried about you.

get your stuff.Get your stuff right over here.

Thank you.

-Thank you so much.
-Stay right here.

I'm just glad I found 'emand
not some weirdo freak.

Oh,yes.Oh,yeah,me too. Thank you.

Because there are all sortsof
crazy people out there--

drunks,perverts,molesters.

Yes! Yeah,no,I know.

No! You got really lucky.

I mean,a different personmight
have called the cops or child welfare.

Well,uh,okay,I know how this looks,
but I have to tell you,

I left them witha very reliable baby-sitter.

Oh,yeah.You picked a real winner.

Are you judging me?Because if you are,

-you couldn't say anything
-lynette,lynette!

-What?!
-Let it go.

The kids walkedfor 3 miles to get here.
We don't havea leg to stand on.

Well,thank you so much!

here we go.

Hey...I don't know about you,

but I am tired of allthe tension around here,

so I was thinking we couldgo shopping,
have some fun.

Then maybe later we can talkabout
the surrogacy thing,

see if we canmake it work.

Oh,gabriela!

Oh,you'll see...

this is the best thingfor the entire family.

So where's the boutique?

Oh,it's inthe hotel lobby.

So go ahead,I'm right behind ya.

Okay.

what are you doing?

I'm going home.

What?

I thoughtwe were gonna talk about
how the surrogacy will work.

Here's how it's gonna work--

you're gonna check yourself
into the hotel,

and then tomorrow,you're gonna
plant yourchildbearing hips on a plane,

and you're gonnaleave our lives forever.

I'm pulling out.Watch your boobs.

come on out.

Oh,thank god! I'm so sorry.

I don't know what happened.I was in the
kitchen cleaning upafter making cookies,and

I looked in the living room,and they were gone.

We tried to tell her we weregoing,
but she was asleep.

You were sleeping?

I most certainly was not.

-Yes,you were.
-Okay,all right,

that liejust lost you another week
of tv and video gameprivileges.

That's two. You wannakeep talking and lose more?

Then apologizeto mrs. Van de kamp.

well,if you ask me,it'sa pretty
crappy thing to do.

Did you even slow the car
downbefore you pushed her out?

Okay,first of all,no one asked you.

And the only reason you careabout
my mother is because

of that ridiculous suggestion she offered.

I think her offer to be our surrogate
was very generous.

Generous?

Don't you seethe strings attached?

What strings?

The only reason she offered up
her dusty wombis because she's screwed.

Her latest sugar daddygave her the boot,

so mom needs a place to stayand money.

So trust me,if she carried our child,
we'dbe footing the bill for years.

I think your hatred for heris
clouding your judgment.

Maybe,but you don'tknow her like I do.

Okay.

You ran away from home15 years ago.

Did you ever thinkto talk to her about the
stuff that happenedbetween you and your stepdad?

It wouldn't have doneany good.

How do you know that?

Because...

she knew exactly what
was going on with alejandro,

and she chose
to look the other way.

But you never even gave hera chance to step up.
You just ran awayfrom home.

Because if I did,then she w--

because...

there was a chanceshe wouldn't
have believed me,and...

and thatwould've hurt a lot worse
than anythinghe ever did to me.

She's your mother,and she loves you.

I know it's beena very long time,

but maybe you cantalk to her about it now.

I'm getting her luggageback to her,
and that's the bestI can do.

what are you doing here?

There's something I needto talk to you about.
It's important.

There's nothing for usto talk about.

Shut up and listen.

Dierdre's father,

noah taylor,
somehow found out about zach,

and he wants to meet him.

"Somehow found out"?Like,maybe you told him?

Noah is no friend of mine.

But he's very rich and powerful,
and he's terminal,

and he wants to meethis grandson before he dies.

Absolutely not.

Well,you'll be surprised,but I agree with you.

Noah destroyseverything he touches,

and the last thingeither of us wants

is for this guyto get his hooks into zach.

What are we supposed to do?

You and zach need to vanish.
Just stay out of sight

until naturetakes its course with noah.

If we leave,we won't be coming back.

You'll never seeyour boy again.

I know.

Well,happy valentine's day,my darling.

Isn't thatyour ex-husband?

Oh,yeah.

apparently,they'll let anyone in here.

Hi.

Your chocolate souffl?swill be out momentarily.

Oh,we didn'torder souffl?

I orderedas soon as we got here.

It takes an hour to prepare.

Oh,I really can'T.I'm stuffed.

No,no,no,this you'll wanna try.

It's their specialty.

I guessI'll have the souffl?

Can you excuse mefor a second?

I,um...

I justhave to powder my nose.

I'm sorry to interrupt.

Your makeup is all smudged.Come with me.
I'll fix it.

-What?
-Come on,get up.

Sorry.

My makeup is smudged?

get in here.

I have some news that'sprobably
gonna devastate you.

But I wanted to bethe first one to tell you.

Okay.

Karl is aboutto pop the question.

You mean,like,marriage?

Oh,I hope I haven't ruinedyour valentine's day.

-Do you want a tissue?
-No,no. I'm okay.

I-I'm just... surprised.

well,congratulations.

what makes you thinkhe's gonna propose?

Well,I,um,

I was looking throughhis briefcase this afternoon,

and I found this ring.

And so tonight he keeps pushingthis
"special dessert" on me,

so obviously,he's hidden the ring inside.

A ring!

what did it look like?

Oh,I don't know.

18-karat white gold,10 diamonds,
engraved accents.

I just got a quick peek.

I think I know that ring.

That's his grandmother's ring.
It's a family heirloom.

And,you know,
he might just be having itcleaned or something.

Except for one thing--
lying right next to it...

was a prenup!

Well,karl is a lawyer,and

it could just be a prenupfor another client.

Boy,jealousy isone ugly thing up close.

Oh,no,edie--

no,you know what?
I'm gonna takethe high road and...

and I'm gonna ignoreyour nastiness.

If you'll excuse me,I'm

going back to my table

and getting engaged.

oh,hi. Um,

do you see that man over there?
Dark hair,handsome.

I need you to slip this to
himwithout anybody noticing.

Be careful!She thinks you're about to propose.

God,you never stop.

I told you,I'm not divorcing my wife.

I'm in this for the sex,
and if you can't accept it,then go to hell.

what the hellare you doing?

Well,I thought you saidthis dessert was special.

When you put itin your mouth and eat it.
What is wrong with you?

Well...

nothing.

Carlos,

what a surprise.Come on in.

I thoughtyou could use your bags.

Oh,yes.The perfect timing.

I just took a shower and
neededsomething to change into.

Here,leave it here.This is fine. Thank you.

Listen,do you have a minute?

because I need to talkto you about something.

Hmm,yeah,sure. Sit down.

Talk as I dress.

I'll leave the door openso I can hear.

Look,I was,uh,

I was thinkingabout your surrogacy idea.

And I thinkit could be the answer
to all of our problems.

That is,if you're still interested.

Yes! I mean,uh,

I am.

but I-I just think that
gaby will never let it happen.

No,no. No,she canbe convinced.
I know it.

Can you please,uh,
zip me up?

My zipper! It's stuck.

you did that so fast.

I know someonewho works out.

As I was saying,

I thinkthe surrogacy idea could work.

but you and gaby are
gonnahave to mend some fences.

After such a long time,what is the point?

Lucia,please,hear me out.

There was a lot of stuffthat gaby went through
when she was younger--

a lot of stuffthat you don't know about.

And I think that if you wentto her and
asked her about it,

then the two of youcould finally get past it.

What stuff are youtalking about,carlos?

your second husband,alejandro?

When gaby was 15,he assaulted her sexually.

Is that what she told you?

Look,

I know thatit comes as a shock for you
to be hearing it from me--

carlos,please,I am aware they had sex.

But it was gabrielawho seduced him.

Excuse me?

She was always jealous of me.

You don't know how many times I
caught her wearing my shoes,

trying on my jewelry...

and I'd scream at her to
leavemy things alone,but no,

she wanted whatever I had.

Then one night,

she set her sights on alejandro.

Believe me,

no one got raped.

Lucia,she was only 15 years old.

You know,a lot of menhave left
me over the years,

and I never knew the reason.

But when alejandro left,
I knew exactly why it happened.

Gabriela made himfall in love with her.

Oh,it took me so many yearsto forgive her.

-You forgave her?
-But of course.

I couldn't have offeredto carry
her baby unless I had.

karl. Karl!

Come here!

Why didn't you answeryour damn cell phone?

I turned it off.What's going on?

Where's edie?

She's upstairs.She's been in a pissy
mood eversince we left the restaurant.

I don't know
what's wrong with her.

She found the ringand the prenup
in your briefcase.

She thought you were gonna
pop the question tonight.

-Oh,no.
-Oh,yes.

You know,this wholefake marriage thing
was okay when nobodywas getting hurt.

What are we doing? It's a lie!

I lost mike over a lie,
and now I'm doingthe same thing to dr. Ron,

and--and look at edie.She was devastated.

I don't think
I can go through with this.

You can'tcall off the wedding.
How are you gonna pay for your surgery?

I don't know.
You know,I'll just...I'll sell the car.

Susie,this is your healthwe're talking about.

We're getting married.

-Karl--
-no.

Dr. Ronwould be the first to say
that you're doingthe right thing.

I'll figure out some wayto handle edie.

How? How are yougonna handle edie?

That poor woman's dreamsexploded
in her face tonight.

You know,it's not likeyou can just go out and
buy her flowers,and everything will be better.

Then I'll propose to her.

Well,that's a little extreme.

Not really. I was probablygonna
do it eventually anyhow.

Obviously we're gonnahave to get a divorce
before I can actuallymarry her.

But,uh... what?

Nothing. I just...

I didn't know thatyou loved her like that.

She's a great kid.Total package.

What's the matter,susie q?Jealous?

no,of course not.

Well,okay,this is good because...

you know,if this experience

helped you to realize
your true feelings,then,uh...

then we did somethinggood here.

Yeah. I think we have.

Come here.

I can't believeyou thought I was jealous.

It's not like I still havefeelings
for you anymore.

You're right.I-I was just fooling around.

So? How did it go?

Fine. I just dropped offthe luggage and left.

What was that for?

No reason.

Hey,I was thinking...

we should
look into adoption.

Seriously?

But I thought you wanteda kid
with your own D.N.A.?

Blood isn't everything.

Hey!

I heard ya lostyour kids yesterday.

Yeah.

it was cleared up.It was just a little confusion.

Uh,help me out herewith something.

What exactly is ityou look for in a baby-sitter?

Excuse me?

Well,I may be ancient,like you say,

but I've never gotten drunkand
lost track of three kids.

What?

Yesterday I found her passed outon
her front lawn,drunk as a skunk.

I've known breefor years and years.

There's no way she was drinkingwhile
baby-sitting my kids.

So...

just go spread your poison
somewhere else. Okay?

I just thought I'd do youa favor
and let you know,that's all.

Okay,well,thanks.

Hi.

You,um,you recovered fromall
of yesterday's excitement?

Oh,truthfully,I haven't beenable
to get my mind off it.

What a scare,huh?

Yeah,

althoughI-I still can't figure out
how my boysmanaged to sneak past you.

Well,you knowhow boys are at the age.
They're escape artists.

They're like lightning.

It's just,penny...

-penny?
-Well,I mean,

I just don't understand how porter
and preston managedto

wrangle her into the stroller and then

make it outyour front door
withoutyou even noticing.

I guessif you'd fallen asleep...

it could've happenedlike that,I-I guess.

You know,I think,um,
I must have been cleaningthe kitchen,and I-

I justdidn't hear them
because of the noisefrom the dishwasher.

Look,I apologize in advancefor
how this is going to sound,

but I have to ask.
It's justgonna eat away at me.

Were you drinkingwhile baby-sitting my kids?

No!

you know,I may have had
just the tiniest little bitof chardonnay.

Oh,gosh,you got drunk,and you passed out.

Lynette,if I close my eyeseven for a moment,

it's because of theseantihistamines
I've been taking.

Really?Is that why you passed outon your
front lawn yesterday morning?

Now that you're speaking to mein
a fairly accusatory tone,

may I remind you thatI was doing you a favor?

You put my kids in danger,
and then you lied about it.

Do you not gethow big that is?
Do you have somekind of problem with alcohol?

No! The only problem I haveis with your children.

They're incorrigiblebecause you let them run amok.

And if I hadn'tdrifted off,

they would have waiteduntil I was in the bathroom

or stuck on the phoneor upstairs doing laundry.

On any given day,
how many glasses of winedo you put away?

I will not be spoken tolike that.
I just won'T.

now and then,we allneed a little help...

so we ask for small favors.

Thanks. I owe you one.

But it's always best to be wary of
those eager to come to our rescue.

Well,go on.Kiss the bride.

because even the smallest of favors...

sure thing,tom.
I'd be happyto baby-sit for you.

My,have you noticedhow clogged
my rain gutters are?

...Carries a price tag.

Yes,everyone has an agenda.

I heard about your operation,aunt inez,

and I'm jumpingon a plane right now
to come and help you out.

No matter what they may tell us.

No,I'm happy to,

and I'm prepared to stayas long as it takes.

And in those rare instances
where there is no ulterior motive,

we're so taken aback
that we may fail to recognize the truth...

Do you still think you don't have a problem?

that a loving friend has
just done us an enormous favor.