Desperate Housewives (2004–2012): Season 1, Episode 23 - One Wonderful Day - full transcript

"Previously on" Desperate Housewives...

There is a motive to every mystery...

Your body isn't responding
to the medication the way it should.

- I think I'm having a heart attack.
- "... evidence of every crime..."

They're charging you with a hate crime?

- I thought you were cheating with him.
- With our gay cable guy?

I didn't know he was gay.
I didn't know Justin was either.

... and an answer to every question.

Gabby, the woman killed herself.
Something must have been going on.

All you have to do
is take a closer look.

It had a woman in it.
She was all chopped up.



- "And eventually, every secret..."
- Do you know where Paul Young is?

I know where he'll be on Thursday night.

... will be revealed.

- Mary Alice was being blackmailed?
- Oh, Mary Alice, what did you do?

My name is Mary Alice Young.

Before I died, my life was filled
with love, laughter, friendship,

and sadly, secrets.

The secrets had begun 15 years earlier
when my name was Angela Forrest,

and I was living a life
of quiet desperation.

I'd feel it every morning
as I made breakfast for my husband.

Could you could stop by the market?
I'm out of shaving cream.

And during the errands
I ran in the afternoons...

You'll save a bunch
if you come on Fridays.

... even at my work every evening...



What a lovely calendar.
Was this taken around here?

No, that's way out in Fairview.
I have family there.

Isn't it idyllic?

Here, Angela. You can file this.

... to me, each day
was gray and meaningless.

And then one night, suddenly...

- Hey, Angela.
- "... there was color."

Deidre? What are you doing here?

I need some money.

Deidre. Here.

- You're using again, aren't you?
- No.

I've just got to get some food
for my baby. Some other stuff.

If the baby's hungry, come to the market
and I'll buy food.

I can shop for my own baby, OK?

- [Baby cries]
- Quiet. I can't think.

See this watch? It's worth a lot.
I'll give it to you for 50 bucks.

- She's not giving you money.
- Do you mind?

Angela, you're the only one at rehab
who treated me like a person.

Please. Please don't stop now.

I'm sorry.

I'll sell you my baby.

- What?
- I know you can't have your own.

- It's been killing you.
- It's time that you left.

I'm thinking about Dana.
You'll give him a good home.

OK? He'll be better off.

- [Cries]
- Shh! Quiet!

Honey.

How much money
do you keep in the house?

[Dana cries]

She has a ten-month-old baby.
Where is it?

I don't know. If we'd seen a kid we
wouldn't have left it in a crack house.

- I will have your badge.
- Just let me do my job, huh?

We'll post an officer
at the junkie's bedside,

we'll let her tell us
where she left her kid.

I really do hope you folks
will be happy here in Fairview.

Thank you.

- "And we were."
- Wave bye, Zach.

Wave bye-bye.

We were as happy as any family could be.

Until one night three years later...

when there was a knock at our door.

And I was desperate once again.

It was 5:00 in the morning on Wisteria
Lane when the phone calls started.

Each of them knew something was wrong

from that first ring.

Hello?

[Rings]

It's an unwritten rule of suburbia...

Hello?

[Phone rings]

Don't call the neighbors

in the middle of the night

unless the news is bad.

Hello?

And so they came,

with their uncombed hair

and their unmade faces.

They came because

after all these years...

Bree.

... they were no longerjust neighbors.

What are you... doing here?

We heard Rex had a heart attack.

How is he?

Um... He's stable.

But they have to put in a pacemaker,

so they're gonna need to operate.

- How did you guys know?
- Danielle called.

So how are you doing?

We were having a fight when he...

got the heart attack and...

I'm feeling guilty 'cause I should have
gotten him here sooner and...

Honey, the doctors here are great.

He's gonna bounce right back.

You have nothing to worry about.

You know what? I am so happy
that you guys came here. I really am.

But I am trying hard to be strong,

so if you keep comforting me...

You're gonna lose it?

Then we won't comfort.

Thank you.

We'll just talk about non-crisis things.

Oh, I know. I found Mrs. Huber's journal

in some of Mike's stuff.

She knew Mary Alice's secret

and was blackmailing her.

Yep, that'll do it.

Zachary, come back here, please.

Your father said
you should let me look after you.

I will be fine by myself.
I am not a child.

I know you're not a child,

but I think we should discuss this.

I'm fine. Really.

Why should you fend for yourself

when you can just come home with me?

Let me shoulder the burden.
It would be my pleasure.

What kind of freak are you?
Just leave me alone.

You are not my mother.

I told you that I am fine.
Stop acting like my mother and go home.

I wish it were that easy, Zachary,

for your sake.

But it's not.

Your father's not coming back.

- He said that he was.
- He lied.

I wanted to spare you this,

but your father and I discussed it

and he decided

that he shouldn't come back.

Get your bag and let's go home.

I'm gonna make you some pudding.

What did you do to my dad?

[Mrs. Tillman screams]

[Zach] Tell me!

[Edie] Mrs. Applewhite?

Yes?

Hi. I'm Edie Britt.

The realtor who helped you
buy this house.

Oh! Of course. Hi.

Hi. I've been so curious to meet you.

Really? Why?

It's just that I've never sold a house
over the phone before.

You were brave
buying a place site unseen.

Not really.

It was just what we were looking for.

This is my son, Matthew.

It's nice to meet you, ma'am.

Please, call me Edie.

Ma'am is for middle-aged women.

Like her.

You can call her ma'am
any time you want.

So are you two finding everything OK?

We didn't do
our realtor's walkthrough.

Everything is fine.

Oh, honey. Escrow's closed.

Now I can show you where
to put the buckets when it rains.

Edie, the house is fine.

But how lovely of you to stop by.

OK. Here is my card.

Call any time you want.

Bye.

People are very friendly
in this neighborhood.

Yes. Yes, they are.

Mike, hi, sweetie.
I hope the job's going well.

Um... So... I hope you're not mad

but I found Mrs. Huber's journal
in your truck

and I couldn't exactly not read it,
so I did,

and I know all about the blackmail,
so call me, we'll talk.

Love you. Bye.

I haven't heard back
and I was getting a little concerned.

The girls and I were talking and we
think maybe Paul Young killed Mrs. Huber

and if he did
maybe he killed your old girlfriend too

so we should really talk about this,
so call me. I love you. Bye.

I thought the whole point
of having a cell phone

was so someone could reach you.

How can we move forward
if you won't communicate with me?

Mike, I need you to call me back.
I mean it.

Love you. Bye.

I'm so sorry for that last phone call.

Um... let's just say
it was the worry talking.

- I just really need to talk to you...
- "[phone bleeps]"

Can you hang on? I got another call.

- Hello.
- "[Mike] Hey, it's me."

Oh, my God! Where have you been?

The reception's lousy up here
but I got your messages.

I'm really sorry for that last message.

- I was just uh...
- Stressed out?

Yes, let's call it stressed out.

Uh... So how did you get
Martha Huber's journal?

Oh, her sister, Mrs. Tillman,
gave it to me.

She was helping me with my search.

I really think we need
to give it to the police.

- [Starts engine]
- Um... yeah.

- Yeah, absolutely.
- Really?

When I get through with this job,

we'll make an appointment
with that detective. Copeland.

Great. That's great.

All right.
So I'll... see you in a few hours.

OK. Hurry, though. I have a feeling Paul
Young is in the middle of all of this.

Well, let's not rush to judgment.

- What are you doing here?
- I'm here to testify for you.

Can you take those off?
There's no way I'm dressing him.

Gabby, thank God you're doing this.

Beating up a second gay guy looks bad.

Yes, well, Carlos, in some circles,

beating people up at all
is frowned upon.

So why did you change your mind?

I'm about to be
the mother of your child,

which means a lot of responsibility
and little time for myself.

So if I'm gonna get you out of
this mess, you have to reciprocate.

OK.

When the baby cries
during the night,

you're going to get up,
without saying one word.

Doctor's appointments, you're driving.
I won't put a car seat in my Maserati.

And you will also be on bottle duty.

That means washing,
sterilizing and filling.

I'll have some semblance of a life
and maybe I won't hate you so much.

All right. There we go.

So we're good?

- See you in court.
- Hey, Gabby.

Aren't we breastfeeding?

Oh, honey, if you can swing that one,
more power to you.

Can I buy my own pizza?

You can, honey, if you can pay for it.

[Cheering]

That is 19, 19, 19-zip. Bring it.

Just stay here with Penny
for a second, OK?

Tom.

Yes! In your face.
That is 20-zip. Game. Out.

Tom. What are you doin'?

Playing air hockey, what does it
look like? Kevin, you're up.

It's the middle of the day.
Shouldn't you be at work?

Mm, no. I quit.

- You did not.
- Yes.

Yesterday.
Told Peterson he could stick it.

Boom! You're not bringing it, Kevin.
Bring it.

Could you talk to me for a second?
I don't understand.

What? You asked Peterson's wife
to make sure he wouldn't promote me.

So he gives a huge promotion
to Annabel so I quit.

What don't you understand?

OK.

OK. Could we go home
and talk about this, please?

No, we can't. Serve it up, meat.

You're just gonna stay here
and play games all day?

No, I'm gonna get some ice cream

and then I'm gonna go to the lake, maybe
rent a boat, do whatever I feel like.

- God!
- [Kevin] Got you!

Tom...

Go home before
I say something I regret. Go home.

All right. You.

You score this next point,
you get your bike back.

What are you thinking about?

Oh. Uh... I was just um...

thinking that I need
to start spring-cleaning.

- You haven't done that yet?
- No, and I need to clean our gutters

and beneath the refrigerator,

and it's so long since
I replaced the shelf liners so...

You'll finish off
with our wedding silver.

How did you know that?

All those years, you didn't think
I was paying attention. But I was.

- Do you know why I save it for last?
- No.

Because it makes me think
of my Aunt Fern.

On the day we got married,
I told her how happy I was.

She told me that even during bad times

to always remember
that the best was yet to come.

So as I polish it, I think about you
and the kids and our life.

And how right she was.

- They're gonna operate on me.
- I know.

I wanna say some stuff.
I mean, just in case...

Rex, you don't have to say anything.

I'm sorry for everything I did.

The moving out, the infidelity,
the sex stuff.

It doesn't matter.

From here on in,
can we just say that we're even?

- OK.
- Thanks.

And for the record,

you are gonna come through
this operation just fine.

How can you be so sure?

Because I told you...
The best is yet to come.

Don't forget to feed Bongo.

Thanks. I'll go do that now.

Go on in the car, sweetie.
I have to talk to your mom real quick.

So you're gonna go live in sin
with the plumber slash ex-con?

It's funny you should mention sin.
Adultery still falls in that category.

I don't like the idea of this guy
being around Julie 24l7.

He's a good person.

Mike's cool, Dad. He cares about us
a lot and I like having him around.

So don't mess this up.

You heard the girl.

He's still a plumber.

- [Growls]
- You be a good boy, Bongo.

Or you're gonna go to bed hungry.

Hi, Miss Mayer.

Will you sit down, please?

- I'm just gonna go get some water.
- I'd rather you didn't.

Don't answer it.

I know you're in there, Susan.

I can see you.

If you don't want to talk to me, fine.
At least have the courtesy to hide.

All right, but don't let her in.

Edie, what a pleasant surprise.

Right. Is Mike home?

Uh... no. He's on a big plumbing job.
What's up?

- Can I come in?
- Why?

I'm warning all the neighbors.
Felicia Tillman was attacked.

- She was?
- At the Young house.

They took her away in an ambulance.
I'm freaked out.

My guys haven't shown up
at the job site yet.

I'm over there all alone. Could I just
come in and hang out for a while?

[Mouths words]

Stick it up my... What?!

Just get the hell out of here.

God, you are such a bitch.

Why?

I asked Mrs. Tillman to tell me
the truth about my father. She did.

What did she say?

Mr. Delfino took my dad away
to kill him.

Now I'm gonna kill Mr. Delfino.

You Honor, this whole mess
is just a result of my loneliness.

My marriage is a bit strained.

After Carlos was convicted...

No one's been convicted yet, Mrs. Solis.
This is just a grand jury hearing.

Oh, no, I'm talking about
his other crime.

Oh. Right.

Go ahead.

Anyways,
he was placed under house arrest

and he being the jealous man that he is,

got a little crazy
every time I left the house.

He knows how men look at me and...

Well, I didn't exactly ease his mind.

I... falsely led him to believe
I was having an affair.

Before Carlos' house arrest, he was
always working and he was never with me.

I thought that maybe if he believed
I was having an affair...

he would realize he loved me.

I know it sounds stupid. I do. I just...

Is there a point to this?

My point is that Carlos
is an angry, jealous Neanderthal.

But he's not a gay-basher.

All right. I've heard enough.
Counsel, approach.

I gotta be honest.
I don't think we have a hate crime here.

Just so you know,
you beat up the wrong guy.

Didn't you think it was strange
that you had the only lawn

that needed to be mowed
three times a week?

You are so dead.

- You are so dead.
- [Judge] Order!

No! Carlos!

[Man] He's doing it again!

[Shouting]

For God's sake, somebody stop him!

Stop it!

- [Judge] We will have order!
- I'll kill you!

[Carlos shouts in Spanish]

- I am going to kill you!
- Order!

[Judge bangs gavel] Please be seated.
We will have order.

Get out.

I'm not trying to justify anything
but Martha Huber ruined lives.

For fun. She destroyed my family.

- This isn't about her.
- I don't understand.

Walk.

Remember when we first tested you,
your potassium level was a bit high?

Yes. You made me stop eating bananas.

But as we've continued testing,
it's kept climbing.

We've now run an entire battery of tests

and your kidney function is fine.

It has to be something you're ingesting.

Let me see.

These numbers can't be right.

Who prepares your meals?

Bree.

I understand you've been having
some marital problems.

- Wait a minute.
- Was there an incident at a salad bar?

She gave you onions
when she knew you were allergic.

That was an accident.

You're getting this potassium
from somewhere.

- Get out.
- Rex...

I mean it.

Get out.

Leave the chart.

I want to read it.

[Door opens]

So did you have a fun day?

As a matter of fact, I did.

I probably had the most fun
that I have had in a long time.

You know, I didn't tell you to quit.

No. No, no, no.

But you made damn sure that
I'd go nowhere for the next 20 years.

I don't know what to say.

I hear "Please forgive me" is popular.

Yes, I am sorry. I am so, so sorry.

I didn't want to hurt you.

But I was trying to protect our family.

If you got a promotion, we never would
have seen you. You would have been...

Lynette, you're right.

You're right. You're right. That
promotion would have just killed us.

So this is gonna all work out.

What does that mean?

It means that I can use the break.

Oh. Well, yeah. I think it would be good
for you to take some time off.

No, not some time. Full-time.

I'm gonna be a stay-at-home dad.

Huh?

What the heck?
You earn the living for a while.

Tom, that's... crazy.

Why? Why is it crazy?

You and I both know
that you're better at the ad game.

And you tell me all the time
how hard it is to be a mom.

Well, yes, it is hard.
But I love it, too.

I've been doing it for six years and
I haven't complained... the entire time.

Fair enough. Fair enough.

But be honest.

Secretly, you miss the ad game,
don't you?

You miss the pressure
and the deadlines and the power lunches.

Or am I wrong?

Maybe you want to sort dirty socks
the rest of your life.

We should talk about this seriously
before we make any rash decisions.

I already made the decision.
You're going back to work.

Can I at least
get you something to eat, Zach?

Maybe a soda. Thanks.

I gotta say,
I think you're making a mistake.

Mike couldn't kill anybody.

I mean, this could just be
a misunderstanding.

This is not a misunderstanding.

I know you're upset,

but is this what you think
your mother would want you doing?

- Probably not.
- Exactly.

Because she raised you right.

Look, you have been through a lot.
You've lost your mom.

You're still carrying the guilt
of what happened to your baby sister.

- I never had a baby sister.
- Honey, I know about Dana.

How stupid are you? I'm Dana.

My mother was some junkie.
They stole me and changed my name.

They have been lying to me
my entire life. Everyone lies to me!

My mother, my father,
Mrs. Tillman, even Julie.

Do you understand how much that hurts?

Look, Zach.

I know you're upset.
Let's just sit down and talk.

Why? So you can lie to me also?

No more talking.

[Breathes heavily]

[Phone rings]

- Hello?
- "Bree, it's Dr. Craig."

I'm at the hospital
and I'm afraid I have some bad news.

- Oh?
- "Rex passed away ten minutes ago."

But his operation is not until tomorrow.

I know. He just didn't make it.

I'm so sorry.
We did everything we could.

- "Bree?"
- Yes. Of course you did.

Thank you very much for calling.

[Sobs]

This is a long way to go to do what you
could have done in my back yard.

You're kind of taking your time.
Walking a lot.

You sure you know what you're doing? You
ever had to kill anyone for real before?

Yeah.

Oh.

But since you're so tired of walking,
let's just do this here.

I don't expect any favors from you,
obviously.

But could you at least do me the
courtesy of telling me why we're here?

You knew Deidre.

Yeah.

And I know what you did to her.

She was just a sad girl
with a lot of problems.

She did some terrible, crazy,
selfish stuff.

But you tell me what she
ever could have done to deserve death

at the hands of somebody like you.

It's complicated.

It's so... complicated.

And just like that,
my husband began sharing my secrets.

You want some carrot, Zachary?

Secrets I had died to protect.

There you go.

We have to get that fence up in the
back yard before the pool's finished.

- I know.
- I'm serious.

You know kids are drawn to water.

Hello, Angela.

You did a good job covering your tracks.

I had to spend
a lot of money hunting you down.

Congratulations. You found us.

You know, I never
told the police what happened.

You didn't?

They would have put Dana in foster care.

Or worse, given him to my father.

So I kept our little secret.

Well, we appreciate that.

Anyway, I guess you can see
I've gotten myself cleaned up.

Yes, you look lovely.

I'm not the same person
you knew back then, Angela.

I'm in a good place now.

You can't have him.

I didn't go to the police before
but I can do it now.

- Zach is our son.
- His name is Dana.

If you think I'm giving my baby
to some junkie, you're crazy.

- He's not your baby.
- Just calm down.

You were always so high and mighty,

looking down on us poor degenerates,

pretending you wanted to help when all
you really wanted was to feel superior.

- You self-righteous bitch.
- You're still using.

Go to hell. What are you doing?

- Let me see your arm.
- I said I'm clean!

- Just take it easy.
- Where do you think you're going?

I'm getting my son and taking him home.

- Paul, stop her.
- Please. Come on.

- Sit down!
- Get your hands off me!

We raised him! We're his parents!

Come on.

Paul!

Don't worry. I'll give him a good home.

No!

[Deidre moans and coughs]

[Deidre gasps for breath]

Oh, Mary Alice. What did you do?

[Zach] Mommy?

It's OK, Zach.

Mommy needs to borrow your toy chest.

You go back to sleep, OK?

What are we gonna do?

You said they were pouring the concrete
for the pool tomorrow?

- You can't be serious.
- They'll never find her.

- We can put her in this.
- She won't fit.

Then we'll have to make her fit.

- What are you doing?
- Checking for track marks.

Deidre had a baby?

Let's get this over with.

It's an odd thing
to look back on the world,

to watch those I left behind,

each, in her own way,
so brave, so determined,

and so very desperate.

Desperate to venture out,

but afraid of what she'll miss
when she goes.

Desperate to get everything she wants,

even when she's not exactly sure
of what that is.

Desperate for life to be perfect again,

although she realizes
it never really was.

Desperate for a better future,

if she can find a way
to escape her past.

I not only watch, I cheer them on,
these amazing women.

I hope so much
they'll find what they're looking for.

But I know not all of them will.

Sadly...

that's just not the way life works.

Not everyone gets a happy ending.