Degrassi: The Next Generation (2001–2015): Season 5, Episode 12 - The Lexicon of Love: Part 2 - full transcript

Paige and Alex are confused and uneasy after their encounter; Paige turns to an unlikely source for help with her sexuality. Emma tries but she can't keep the secret about what she saw Snake doing at the movie theater.

(sighing)

- Who's the evil genius

who made morning
so frigging bright?

- Oh, probably
the same evil genius

who decided that
there should be school days

after crazy movie premieres.
- Crazy?

Is that the verb you're gonna use
to describe last night?

- Adjective.

And considering I voluntarily slept
on the downstairs couch,

crazy seems about right.

- You didn't have to sleep
on the couch.



You would've been safe
in the room with me.

- We're gonna be late,
and I hate being late.

So you should uh...
you should get ready.

Now if I could just find
my bus pass,

that would be absolutely brilliant.

- Paige?
- You know, the bus people

should really just...
just give a-a-an implant

or a... or a tattoo,
and I could save--

- Paige!

Hey, I'm Alex, your friend?

Can you just talk to me?

- I can't even begin to process
what happened last night.

Not with our little
sister-act-slut-dance

or... the drama
with your mom's boyfriend.



- You call that drama?
I call that reality TV.

- That's not funny.

This is not funny.

There is a girl in my bed,
Alex. You.

It's like I woke up
in some weird movie with subtitles -

the kind of movie that I hate -
and I can't deal with it, okay?

I can't deal with you.

- All right,

I'm just gonna go rub
some toothpaste on my teeth,

and then you can walk
20 paces ahead of me

all the way to the bus stop.

Whatever it takes

I know I can make it through

If I hold out

I know I can make it through

Be the best

Be the best I can

And I say to you

Whatever it takes

I know I can make it

I know I can make it

I know I can make it through

Paige: Hi, hi, hi.
Sorry I'm late.

- Hey, what happened
to you last night?

You and Alex went in
the VIP party and - poof! -

you never came back out.

- Um, I'm not quite sure
how to describe what happened...

Exactly.

- Why?
Did you meet somebody?

You did?! Is he famous?
Would I know who he is?

- Famous? No.

But um...
you might know who... he is.

- Sorry to interrupt.
The assembly's at 4:00 p.m.,

so we should really start
rehearsing that new cheer.

You know, the big ''Thank You
Kevin Smith'' assembly;

the one that you've written
the new cheer for.

You have written it, right?

- Sure, hon. Um, I've got it
all worked out in my head.

So let's meet back here at noon

and I will have
the most brilliantish cheer

typed up and ready
for rehearsing.

- Okay, great!

- When you asked for a ride,

I thought you had
something to tell me.

(motorbike approaching)

- I can't believe you let him
keep that stupid motorbike.

- Aw, it's harmless...
in a mid-life crisis sort of way.

He looks happy.

- Mom, be honest,
He looks stupid.

That bike was such a mistake.

Sometimes you have to let people
make mistakes.

That's what love's all about.

- Emma? Emma,
I know you hate me right now -

not that I don't deserve it, but--

- For having an affair
with the principal?

I think you deserve
just a drop of anger for that.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's not an affair, all right?
It stopped at kissing.

And I promise it'll never,
ever happen again.

- I have to get to class.

(honking the horn)
Spike: Bye, guys.

- How're you doing today?
Good. Morning, Emma.

- Don't talk to me.

- Hey.

- Can I ask you a teensy question?

Do you ever think about girls?

- Uh... interesting question
first thing in the morning.

Now, did you miss the years
that I dated your brother?

- But just because you're gay,
that doesn't mean

you can't think about girls,
every now and then, right?

- Are you trying to hook me up
with someone?

Oh wicked.
Does that mean

there's a girl out there
who likes me?

- No. The object of female
affection's... pretty much me.

- You?

Oh, I knew it!
It's Heather Sinclair.

Paige, I've seen the way
she looks at you--

- Ew! Double ew! No, it's...
It's not Heather Sinclair.

Alex.

- Hey.
Paige: Hi.

- Hey, pull up a chair.

Hey, you two still need to tell me
about that VIP party last night.

- I think I'm gonna sit
over here today.

- Whoa.

Whoa.

Paige, it's-it's Alex?

- She kissed me last night.

(school bell rings )

Simpson: Morning, class.

As you know, Kevin Smith
will be visiting us today.

I want you to take advantage
of him being here

and prepare some smart
media questions for him.

- Waiting for someone?

- Oh look, here I am in an alley
and a rat appears, just like magic.

- I found these under the table
at the club.

I thought maybe your new bestest
girlfriend might want them back.

- Just give me the shoes
and go away.

- First I want you to tell me
what it is you think

you could possibly have in common
with a stuck-up cheerleader.

Paige: Sorry I took so long!

I seem to have interrupted
fun time with Jay,

which looked kind of hot.

- Not. In fact,
it's been cancelled.

Replaced by fun time
with Paige.

- Alex? We need to talk.

This can't happen.

I'm not a... lesbian.

- And you think I am?

- Well, you're the one
who kissed me.

- What are you, five?

And for the record,
you kissed me back.

- I'm not even supposed
to like people like you.

People who wear black
with navy

and who hate everything...
and everyone.

- I don't hate you.

Even if you are
one of the popular idiots

who drinks lattes
and reads stupid magazines

and laughs way too loud.

- I have to laugh
when I'm around you.

I can't really help it.

- And I have to be better
when I'm around you.

I can't help it either.

Jay: Need a couple of hands
for your poms?

- What do you want?
- World peace, a salami sub,

and a chance to talk
to my good friend, Hazey.

- We're not friends.

- So you don't wanna hear
my news then.

That Paige has gone the gay-way.

- Excuse me?
- You heard me.

Yeah, I saw your friend
and my ex

doing some seriously
sexy dancing last night.

- So? You need to get out more.
Girls do that stuff all the time.

- And I just saw Paige
lay a big ol' smooch on Alex.

You're trying to tell me that's
something that girls do all the time?

- I'm not getting involved in this.

- Listen, do you really think
that Paige wants to end

her distinguished high school
career as the school lesbo?

- You're being disgusting.
- I'm being honest.

And what about you, huh?

Are you looking forward
to those inevitable rumours

about you and Paige?

Is that how you
wanna be remembered?

- Paige, I need to speak to you.

- Kinda busy right now.

- I'll bet you'll be
even busier later... with her.

- Paige...

- I've got you.
What're you talking about?

- I'm talking about Alex.
What is she doing here?

Is she like your girlfriend now?

- Oof!

Don't worry, I'm fine.

- Who told you?
- Jay.

Paige, did you become
a lesbian and not tell me?

- No, no, Hazel...
I'm not a lesbian.

Hello! Matt? Spinner?
I've dated lots of guys.

- Well, then how come Jay
saw you kissing Alex?

- Um...

I just...

Got caught up in a moment.

- And that's all?
- Of course.

It was totally stupid.
It meant nothing.

She means nothing.

Alex...
- Don't bother.

How could you?

- I do not like girls.
I cannot like girls.

- Then why did you kiss me?

- I don't know. I felt bad.
I didn't want to hurt you.

- Who needs your pity, huh?
I don't!

Kevin: Well...

- Oh, um...

Excuse me while I go uh...
flush my head down the toilet.

Ms. Hatzilakos:
Okay, we're ready to begin.

Can I have everyone's attention,
please?

Can every...

(loud mic feedback)
Can I have everyone's attention!

Please grab your seats,
we're gonna begin.

Now!

Thank you.

At this time last year,

Degrassi was struggling
out of an awful tragedy.

And then came Kevin Smith.
(applause and cheering)

He cast our school
as the backdrop for his movie

''Jay and Silent Bob
Go Canadian, Eh?''

And as a token
of our gratitude, Mr. Smith...

I would like to present you
with an honorary diploma.

- No. Thank you.
(applause )

- But before we make it
completely official,

our Spirit Squad would like
to send you on your way, in style.

Paige?

- What are we gonna do?

- I haven't come up
with anything.

- Just improvise.

- Okay, uh... go.

Do some cartwheels,
okay?

Give me a K''!

- ''K!''

- Give me an ''E''!

- ''E''?

- Give me a...
V-I-N-S-...

...M-I-T-H!

Yay!

- Uh...

(smattering of applause)

- Mom, I'm fine.

- Don't seem fine to me,
little girl.

- Buenos dias, senoritasI

- That's not
your motorcycle helmet.

Where's all the Kevlar?

- I sold it.

The motorbike, the helmet,
the works, because...

we're going to Mexico!

You, me, Emma and Manny
will be spending a week

on the Mayan Riviera
at the end of term!

- But what about Jack?

- The grandmas
are already fighting for him!

It's all been taken care of.
- Oh... I love you so much!

I don't deserve
such a perfect husband.

- Stop it!
Just stop it!

- Emma?

What is it, sweetheart?

Tell me what's wrong.

- It's about me.
It's...it's something I did.

- Why is it that every time
I turn a corner, there you are?

- I'm like one of
those annoying pop songs.

Once I get stuck in your head,
I'm impossible to get rid of.

- What do you want, Jay?

Really?

- My life sucks.
Okay, I'm kicked out of school,

Sean moved away,
Spinner's found the Lord...

and the only person
who ever really got me

won't even give me
the time of day.

I'm not perfect, I know that.

But... I get you, you know?
The real you.

'Cause you and me,
we're the same.

You know? Why-
Why do you want to fight that?

Kevin: ...Shoot it!
Pitch the rock, Sir, pitch it!

Jason: What's up!
Oh come on! You suck!

- Don't hate the player, son,
hate the game.

Know what I'm saying?
Oh, Miss Michalchuk!

Wanna shoot some horse
with us?

Or are you running off to a spelling
bee or something like that?

- Oh, about the cheer...
- Mm-hmm.

- Please know that I've composed
more cheery before.

- Nobody's ever done a cheer
in my honour, so by default,

your cheer, for me,
was about the best I've ever had.

So thank you.
- I was kinda distracted.

- Distracted, huh?
Let me guess,

By some kind of acid-tongued,
raven-haired beauty

from the wrong side
of the tracks, maybe?

- Kevin, Jason, your taxi's here.
- Thank you, Ms. Hatzilakos.

Let me ask you a question.
Do you like this girl?

Like, you know,
''like her'' like her?

- Yeah, I like her,
but I'm not gay.

My brother is gay, I'm straight.
I always have been.

- Your brother's gay?
My brother's gay, too.

Even got married to a guy.
- Really?

- Yeah, it was the hottest wedding
I've ever been to in my life.

Really, really cool,
hands down.

Almost made me want
to switch teams.

Almost. Look, I'm probably
the last guy in the world

who should be giving you
advice on this very subject,

but I don't know... you guys seemed
happy the other night, you know?

And that's kinda rare,

and whether it's gay,
straight, bi, whatever,

it's kinda worth investigating
a little further, I'd say.

Just my two cents.

You're just gonna stand there
starin' at me

after I've dropped
that wisdom on you?

C'mon, that's your move!
Go chase the girl, silly!

Simpson: It was a mistake!
It was just a kiss!

Spike: What about Emma?
What about her feelings?

- Look, believe me, it was never
my intention to involve her in this.

- Just go!

- I'm so sorry, Emma.

But I'm gonna go stay at Joey's,
just for a while.

- No! No, you can't!

Go up there and convince her
to let you stay.

- Emma, listen...

What I did was horrible but...
I would never have done it

if there wasn't something
wrong with me.

I gotta go figure that out.

- Do you love my mother?

- Of course.
- And Jack?

- Em, he's my son.

- What about me?

- You know I do.

- So what's to figure out?!

(sobbing)

- This is nice, huh?

Just like old times.

- I said you could come in
and watch TV, Jay. That's all.

This doesn't mean anything.

- Yeah, sure, Lexi.
Whatever you say.

(door slams)
Chad.

- Hey!

- It's been a long time.
You been working hard?

- No, hardly working!

Where are you at, bud?
- Oh you know, here and there.

Just trying to keep
myself out of trouble.

- Oh gimme some sugar,
you handsome devil! Hello.

- Look at you... you are looking
as beautiful as ever, Emily.

- Aw, such a charmer!

I always knew this one
was a keeper, Lexi.

Sort of reminds me
of ol' Chad here.

I am so glad that you finally
came to your senses

and took Jay back, baby.

- I haven't taken him back.
- Well, not yet.

- No! Not ever!

I need some air.

- 'Kay.

- I've been trying to work up
the nerve to ring the doorbell.

- We don't have one.
Welcome to my world.

- Any room in it for a stupid girl?

- I already have one of those.

- Well, how about...
room for...

someone who's ready
to stop worrying so much

about what other people think?

- There might be room for her.

- Alex, I'm sorry about before...

What I said.
- Whatever Paige, it's cool.

- No, it's not.

I said you were nothing to me,
which...

which is a total lie.

Because right now?

You're pretty much everything.

DVD Subtitling: CNST, Montreal