Dear White People (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Chapter VII - full transcript
[Sam] It's Sam. Leave a message.
[line beeps]
[line ringing]
It's Sam. Leave a message.
[line beeps]
And then we hit 'em with the,
"What about your
oppressive cops, bitches?"
Except without the misogyny, right?
You know, I really want to get at you,
but I'm not sure how to
do it in a respectful way,
random hot feminist.
Guys, where's Sam?
They're probably... on their way.
We should just head in.
It's now or never.
- [dialing]
- [line ringing]
[narrator] Gabe Mitchell
didn't always love
being a white face in a mostly black
part of an overwhelmingly white place.
What's up, hipster 8 Mile?
[narrator] He knew jokes about his
race were essentially harmless.
All right, when I was
a community organizer...
Ooh, check you out,
Disney Channel Obama.
What did you organize?
[narrator] He
checked his privilege
and supported people of color.
You know, I could come with.
No, it's cool. It's...
it's members only.
[narrator] He would
never presume his voice
was more important than
those around him...
I can't believe Chad got
that travel grant over me.
It's bullshit! I killed that essay.
It wouldn't be America
if mediocre white men
weren't being rewarded over
deserving women of color.
- [narrator] But...
- [Sam] I'm sorry, Jo.
...there was a tiny part of
Gabe that wanted to scream.
You know what?
Sometimes people get what they
have because they earned it.
Just because I happen to be a white male
does not automatically
mean I'm some asshole!
Fucking white people.
[all laugh]
[narrator] Gabe didn't always love
having to dodge the land mines
of identity politics.
However...
Gabe loved after hours
at the radio station,
debating who made
the best soul records
and, of course, the
great movies of all time.
In fact, when these two
film majors got together,
life was a Godard film in color,
and the only thing that Gabe
loved more than Godard...
[line ringing]
...was Sam.
[jazz music playing]
♪ Waitin' by the phone ♪
[knocking on door]
OMG.
Is it the Samantha White?
I know. I know.
[sighs]
Should have been there.
I'm just dropping by to check your
pulse, make sure you didn't die.
[grunts]
Is that ice cream?
Yeah, it's vanilla. Your
favorite, which is ironic.
So what happened? We
missed you at the rally.
Reggie... he was a mess,
and it just took longer than I thought.
- How did it go?
- Oh, not great.
Apparently you need tickets to get in,
and then Al yelled angry monologues
from Training Day from the
hallway until we got kicked out.
- I'm sorry. I should have been there.
- No, it's okay.
The school's lacking in pep.
There's bound to be more rallies.
[sighs]
[rubs hands together quickly]
[chuckles]
You know, it's just...
it's been such a long night,
and I'm really rundown.
- So I'm gonna take a shower.
- Okay.
I won't be long.
I'll be here.
Hey, Reggie, I know you're
going through a lot right now,
but whatever you need,
Sam and I are here for you.
[Reggie] Thanks, I actually,
think I got what I needed.
Good.
Super cool.
Well, you know, our offer still stands.
Thanks.
Okay. Okay, let's start. [claps hands]
[Troy] Yes, let us start, everyone.
Start this meeting.
Thanks for being here.
[giggles]
[Sam] So I know last night's rally
didn't go quite as planned,
but with Reggie back in the fold,
I think we can all agree that
something needs to be done.
Things need to change.
No guns for those rent-a-cops,
and fire the asshole
who went off on Reggie.
[Troy] Both CORE and
the student government
totally agree with you, Sam,
which is why we, along
with the administration,
have put together a town hall.
- [clamoring]
- Fuck the town hall, man.
- Yes.
- Right idea.
[Troy] A town hall on the 22nd
to facilitate an open dialogue
on racial tensions at Winchester.
Do you feel the strings,
or do they trick you into
thinking you're a real boy?
[Rashid laughs] Pinocchio!
That was my favorite movie growing up.
What was the Kenyan
version? [clicking tongue]
No, it was called
My Ancestors Were Smart
Enough Not to Get Captured.
Sam, this is what someone
who's trying to help looks like.
[Gabe] Help?
The administration wants a town
hall just so they can pat themselves
on the back for having a town hall.
We all know nothing's gonna change.
- Wait. I have an...
- Don't say it.
Sorry, have to.
We need to protest at the town hall.
Oh, I wanted to say it.
You were right last night.
♪ Rubbing ice all
over their bodies ♪
[Sam] Thank God for the left nipple.
Thank God for the right nipple.
Thank God for the abs.
♪ Oh, rubbing on a nipple ♪
[Reggie] Our pain is why
we're out in these streets.
Exactly, and I'm not
talking a regular protest.
We need to shut shit down.
Well, maybe the system doesn't
work because you refuse to use it.
Yeah, why do you have to
make everyone your enemy?
- It's kind of her thing.
- Troy, you need me to be me.
What are you talking about?
The more radical she is, the
more acceptable you become.
[Sam] We are going to bring together
every marginalized group on this campus
and demand real justice.
#FuckYes.
I get the desire to protest,
but the AASU supports the town hall.
- This is... this is...
- The town hall?
- You just...
- [dog barks]
You tell 'em, Sorbet.
[Rashid] I'm going back to Kenya,
- and I mean it this time.
- [woman] I'm not going!
We're doing this.
Don't you wish to come in
and have sexual intercourse?
Heavens, no.
I have a boyfriend.
I must go to him now.
Yes, you should.
On the other hand,
sexual intercourse does sound good.
[chattering]
[Reggie] Now that Troy and
his sycophants are gone,
we can get to work.
All right, so we should
probably split into groups.
[Sam] Oh, yeah.
Rashid and...
- Ikumi.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- Good idea, Reg.
[Sam] We're gonna put you two on signs.
May my art be your weapon.
I'm in. I'm excited.
I cannot do bubble
letters, though, just FYI.
Al, we're gonna need you
and the Black AF to take
the lead on social media.
Also, we're gonna need
water, bullhorns, snacks,
and if you get anything gluten-free,
I will smother you in your sleep.
On it and completely turned on.
[Sam] Reggie and I will
handle prep and permits.
We've done it before.
And...
Oh! Joelle and Gabe,
you two can canvass all the
affinity groups on campus,
'cause we need to show a united front.
Great.
- Great.
- Looking forward to it.
[Gabe] Okay, so do Sam and Reggie
hang out on, like, a daily basis?
[Joelle] Gabe, you do know I don't
know where Sam is every hour of the day.
Like, I'm not worried
about Reggie and Sam.
Like, maybe for a second
there, but not really.
I mean, I scoff at being worried.
Scoff.
Actually, I don't even
think I know how to scoff.
I'm pretty sure it's not saying
the word "scoff," though, right?
Am I talking a lot? I feel
like I'm talking a lot.
No, you don't seem worried or weird
or like you're losing your mind.
- [scoffs]
- [sighs]
I'm not this guy, though.
I'm sure everything's fine.
Wait. Why'd you look at me like that?
Like what? I just looked at you.
No, no, no, that was a "This white boy
can't handle what I'm about to say" look.
It's true. That was the look.
Let's just say, if I
were you and Sam was...
Never mind. Probably don't
know what I'm talking about.
No, no, you can't stop there.
If Sam was what?
The Asian Student Alliance
would love to come out.
We have a screening of Bowling
for Columbine that night,
- but we can definitely move it.
- Oh, thank you.
That's fantastic. We
really appreciate it.
Wait. What does Bowling for
Columbine have to do with being Asian?
What? Just 'cause we're Asian,
we can't care about gun violence?
We can only get together
and watch Rashomon
and have conversations about
the need for sword control?
Annie needs to calm the fuck down.
Well, at least she's still backing
us after you low-key hate-crimed her.
- [clicks tongue]
- [chuckles] Did I?
- No.
- Oh.
Hey, remember what you
were saying earlier before
about if you were me...
Fine, I just meant,
if I felt like my relationship
was slipping away...
Wait. Who said slipping away?
If I were you, I'd fight
for my relationship.
Of course, that would require
me to have a relationship.
Young Democrats agree
that there's a problem,
but we already committed to
participating in the town hall.
But I wish we hadn't.
I'd have my group follow you anywhere.
- Nope.
- "Nope" to what?
Just all of it, Mehar.
Hey, what was wrong with that guy?
He seemed nice. He was hot.
Not my type.
Well, what is your type?
- Maybe I know somebody.
- You don't.
Come on. Try me.
[sighs] Stop following me, crazy man.
The LGBTQIA Union would love
to, but we have a screening
of Bowling for
Columbine that night.
Oh, we already talked to Annie,
and they're canceling that, so...
[woman] Actually, we
have our own screening.
But it's nice to hear that
Annie came to her senses
and realized she shouldn't rip off
other people's programming
just to get back at me.
If you come across that bitch
again, tell her it'd be a real shame
if her boyfriend found
out where she really goes
when she says she's at the library.
Okay, so you're busy that night.
- We're gonna go.
- Motherfucker, what?
I got, like, eight million questions.
Girl, so... Gabe!
How Defamation would it be
if Mehar were Annie's
boyfriend? [chuckles]
Well, as long as we're on hypotheticals,
who should be your boyfriend?
Stop fishing for my type, Gabe.
Come on, man. Bond with me.
[laughs] Okay, fine.
- He needs to be smart...
- Mm-hmm.
...nerdy, but kind of cool,
a little bit of a badass.
- Okay.
- Black.
Actually, black as hell
and unapologetic about it.
Kind of serious, but okay when
you make fun of him for it.
Able to carry a lot on his shoulders.
God, and those shoulders...
You got it bad for Reggie.
[gasps]
Joelle.
Why hasn't this happened yet?
Why do you think?
I have no idea.
Do you think Sam and Reggie are...
I don't know.
I never know anything with her.
As soon as I figure her out,
she pulls back, and then I-I
don't know all over again.
You know what I do know?
- She smiles with you.
- [scoffs]
Hey, that's a scoff...
But I'm serious.
I'm not talking a self-satisfied,
"I was dope on the radio" smile
or a "pissing Troy off is fun" smile.
No, with you, it's...
It's a whole-body thing, head to toe.
With you, she smiles from her socks.
Joelle, I called the
cops the other night.
What?
[Reggie] Ooh, I'm sorry, massa.
[Addison] It's a song.
Hell, it's in the title.
- What am I supposed to do? Hum?
- [Reggie] Yes, nigga!
I thought I was protecting everybody.
I thought it would keep things
from getting too out of control.
I thought I was doing the right thing.
I didn't... I couldn't have
known what was gonna happen.
You absolutely cannot tell Sam.
But if I don't, I'm...
Never mention this again,
because if she finds out...
She can't find out.
[Milo] I mean, I like to mix it up.
[Vanessa] More Malbec, Sam?
Or we can actually open
the bottle you brought.
Never had wine product before.
And it's a screw top. Fun.
- Whatever's fine. Thanks.
- [Milo] It's so good.
You guys have to listen to it.
It's, like, all these great
stories of old Hollywood.
You Must Remember
This...it's incredible.
[both] "Written,
narrated,
and produced by Karina Longworth.
That's me."
[both laugh]
Yes!
I keep telling my friends to
listen to it, but none of them do.
I just heard the one about Spencer
Tracy and Katharine Hepburn.
Oh, my God, they were the best.
Yeah, I mean, their movies...
their movies are great,
but wasn't the affair kind of fucked up?
Why do you hate love, Gabe?
When he got sick, she took
five years off to care for him.
It's so romantic.
I love that story. It's...
Sure, but Tracy was
married the entire time.
What about his wife?
[Sam] Okay, things got messy, but...
So the woman who's getting cheated on,
she's just supposed
to make peace with it?
- Who wants some?
- [Sam] I'm not saying they were saints,
but they were soul mates.
Well, it's good to know
you condone affairs.
Anyone want some of Sam's wine?
No! Thank you.
[Sam] Gabe.
Gabe!
If something's wrong, just
tell me something's wrong.
Something's wrong.
- Okay.
- Look, I don't get it, Sam.
Sometimes you want to
spend all your time with me,
and sometimes you pretend I don't exist.
- You're like a dude.
- You're right.
And not even a nice dude.
You're, like, one of those...
What?
I said, "You're right."
Well... well, now I
don't know what to say.
I'm sorry.
Things are...
There's just a lot of...
- It's complicated.
- Yeah.
You're complicated as fuck.
[sighs] That's why I'm crazy about you.
You're a mess, but, like,
in this put-together way.
I love that you use four-letter words
and four-syllable words
in the same sentence.
I love that you're kind of a snob,
but you'll bring a bottle of wine
that's only one step above Colt 45.
I love that you love Billy
Wilder and Garry Marshall.
I love...
you.
Fuck.
I love you.
- Gabe...
- And, look, I know you well enough
to know that, you know,
you're gonna need time,
and I don't expect you
to say anything now.
I love you, too.
[Gabe] So PDA is a yes?
- Mm-mm, it's a no...
- Ah.
- ...with exceptions.
- Ah!
[chuckles] Okay, my turn.
Mm-hmm.
You should know
I'll probably be saying
"nigga" around you a lot
because I'll find it funny
you can't say it back.
[laughs] Okay, works for me.
[laughs] Good, because
it wasn't a question.
- It was a warning.
- [laughs]
Oh, I got a weird one.
Uh, I don't think we should
do the whole, uh, Facebook...
- No. Yeah, I agree.
- Okay.
I mean, you're in love.
You don't need "likes" anymore.
Yeah. Oh, and if things go south,
I do not want to see
that fucking crying emoji.
Ah, yeah, fuck that guy.
- And his tears.
- Right?
Like, we're in an
exclusive relationship here.
It does not involve
you, you sad bastard.
[chuckles]
You know, as long as we're
honest with each other,
who needs extra pressure?
And we're honest with each other.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Can our couple name be "Gam"?
[quietly] Gam...
Like an old-timey lady leg?
Yeah.
- Yeah, I'm in.
- Yeah?
Yeah, 'cause then people will be
like, "Oh, check out them Gam."
[laughs]
[chuckles softly]
Were you watching me sleep, nigga?
[both laughing]
You can't say it back.
[cell phone chimes]
Holy shit.
Uh, hey, maybe... maybe we
should get some breakfast.
Lionel is so goddamn good.
He got the 911 audio from
the night of the party
proving that cop overreacted.
I'm... I'm really glad.
Uh, Sam, uh, I think, uh, we should...
- Hold on, I got to hear it.
- No, Sam.
It's, like, already 8:00, you know?
People are gonna start coming in any...
[man] Campus security.
[Gabe] Hi, yeah. I'm
at 2306 Bradford.
This party's a little out of control.
Could you send some officers?
I'm really afraid
someone's gonna get hurt.
That could be anybody.
[sighs] Okay, look,
I was gonna tell you as
soon as things calmed down.
There's no way I could have known
what was gonna happen to Reggie.
It's not like I called the cops thinking
they were gonna come and pull a gun.
I didn't even know they carried guns.
[sighs] Wha...
Sam...
please say something.
[grunts]
- [dialing]
- [line ringing]
[exhales]
It's Sam. Leave a message.
[line beeps]
Reggie...
my comrade-in-arms,
it was Gabe who dropped
the dime to the pigs.
- [bottle shatters]
- I knew it, my Nubian sister.
I never trusted that white devil no way,
but now we don't have to feel guilty
about your brown skin
up against my browner skin.
[both grunt]
[line ringing]
It's Sam. Leave a message.
[line beeps]
Sam, come on.
I've... I've left you, like,
a stalker-y number of messages.
W-w-we need to talk.
Sam?
[sighs] Come on, Sam, give me a chance.
[shouting]
I don't know, but we need
to figure out something.
Sam's your best friend.
[shouting continues]
[overlapping chatter quiets]
Sam, can we, uh...
- Look, I-I-I can explain...
- Why would you call the cops?
- What the fuck did you think would happen?
- You should have known better.
Do black people make you uncomfortable?
[woman] This isn't a good place for you.
That's not actually what
the article was about.
- Guys, let's cut him some slack.
- He called the cops.
He didn't ask them to
bring guns and go nuts.
Why are you even here right now?
For her.
I-I just wanted to stop the
party from getting out of control.
[Reggie] Well, nice job.
Reggie, I am sorry.
[Gabe] Sam...
Sam, please.
["Guilty of Love" playing]
Fuck.
♪ Mistakes I've made ♪
♪ Whether mine
or happenstance ♪
♪ Guilty of love ♪
♪ Wrong or right,
I'm guilty of love ♪
♪ I confess ♪
♪ Haunted all too
often it seems ♪
♪ In my thoughts
and in my dreams ♪
♪ I make no excuse ♪
♪ I did my part ♪
♪ I have broken hearts ♪
[line beeps]
[line ringing]
It's Sam. Leave a message.
[line beeps]
And then we hit 'em with the,
"What about your
oppressive cops, bitches?"
Except without the misogyny, right?
You know, I really want to get at you,
but I'm not sure how to
do it in a respectful way,
random hot feminist.
Guys, where's Sam?
They're probably... on their way.
We should just head in.
It's now or never.
- [dialing]
- [line ringing]
[narrator] Gabe Mitchell
didn't always love
being a white face in a mostly black
part of an overwhelmingly white place.
What's up, hipster 8 Mile?
[narrator] He knew jokes about his
race were essentially harmless.
All right, when I was
a community organizer...
Ooh, check you out,
Disney Channel Obama.
What did you organize?
[narrator] He
checked his privilege
and supported people of color.
You know, I could come with.
No, it's cool. It's...
it's members only.
[narrator] He would
never presume his voice
was more important than
those around him...
I can't believe Chad got
that travel grant over me.
It's bullshit! I killed that essay.
It wouldn't be America
if mediocre white men
weren't being rewarded over
deserving women of color.
- [narrator] But...
- [Sam] I'm sorry, Jo.
...there was a tiny part of
Gabe that wanted to scream.
You know what?
Sometimes people get what they
have because they earned it.
Just because I happen to be a white male
does not automatically
mean I'm some asshole!
Fucking white people.
[all laugh]
[narrator] Gabe didn't always love
having to dodge the land mines
of identity politics.
However...
Gabe loved after hours
at the radio station,
debating who made
the best soul records
and, of course, the
great movies of all time.
In fact, when these two
film majors got together,
life was a Godard film in color,
and the only thing that Gabe
loved more than Godard...
[line ringing]
...was Sam.
[jazz music playing]
♪ Waitin' by the phone ♪
[knocking on door]
OMG.
Is it the Samantha White?
I know. I know.
[sighs]
Should have been there.
I'm just dropping by to check your
pulse, make sure you didn't die.
[grunts]
Is that ice cream?
Yeah, it's vanilla. Your
favorite, which is ironic.
So what happened? We
missed you at the rally.
Reggie... he was a mess,
and it just took longer than I thought.
- How did it go?
- Oh, not great.
Apparently you need tickets to get in,
and then Al yelled angry monologues
from Training Day from the
hallway until we got kicked out.
- I'm sorry. I should have been there.
- No, it's okay.
The school's lacking in pep.
There's bound to be more rallies.
[sighs]
[rubs hands together quickly]
[chuckles]
You know, it's just...
it's been such a long night,
and I'm really rundown.
- So I'm gonna take a shower.
- Okay.
I won't be long.
I'll be here.
Hey, Reggie, I know you're
going through a lot right now,
but whatever you need,
Sam and I are here for you.
[Reggie] Thanks, I actually,
think I got what I needed.
Good.
Super cool.
Well, you know, our offer still stands.
Thanks.
Okay. Okay, let's start. [claps hands]
[Troy] Yes, let us start, everyone.
Start this meeting.
Thanks for being here.
[giggles]
[Sam] So I know last night's rally
didn't go quite as planned,
but with Reggie back in the fold,
I think we can all agree that
something needs to be done.
Things need to change.
No guns for those rent-a-cops,
and fire the asshole
who went off on Reggie.
[Troy] Both CORE and
the student government
totally agree with you, Sam,
which is why we, along
with the administration,
have put together a town hall.
- [clamoring]
- Fuck the town hall, man.
- Yes.
- Right idea.
[Troy] A town hall on the 22nd
to facilitate an open dialogue
on racial tensions at Winchester.
Do you feel the strings,
or do they trick you into
thinking you're a real boy?
[Rashid laughs] Pinocchio!
That was my favorite movie growing up.
What was the Kenyan
version? [clicking tongue]
No, it was called
My Ancestors Were Smart
Enough Not to Get Captured.
Sam, this is what someone
who's trying to help looks like.
[Gabe] Help?
The administration wants a town
hall just so they can pat themselves
on the back for having a town hall.
We all know nothing's gonna change.
- Wait. I have an...
- Don't say it.
Sorry, have to.
We need to protest at the town hall.
Oh, I wanted to say it.
You were right last night.
♪ Rubbing ice all
over their bodies ♪
[Sam] Thank God for the left nipple.
Thank God for the right nipple.
Thank God for the abs.
♪ Oh, rubbing on a nipple ♪
[Reggie] Our pain is why
we're out in these streets.
Exactly, and I'm not
talking a regular protest.
We need to shut shit down.
Well, maybe the system doesn't
work because you refuse to use it.
Yeah, why do you have to
make everyone your enemy?
- It's kind of her thing.
- Troy, you need me to be me.
What are you talking about?
The more radical she is, the
more acceptable you become.
[Sam] We are going to bring together
every marginalized group on this campus
and demand real justice.
#FuckYes.
I get the desire to protest,
but the AASU supports the town hall.
- This is... this is...
- The town hall?
- You just...
- [dog barks]
You tell 'em, Sorbet.
[Rashid] I'm going back to Kenya,
- and I mean it this time.
- [woman] I'm not going!
We're doing this.
Don't you wish to come in
and have sexual intercourse?
Heavens, no.
I have a boyfriend.
I must go to him now.
Yes, you should.
On the other hand,
sexual intercourse does sound good.
[chattering]
[Reggie] Now that Troy and
his sycophants are gone,
we can get to work.
All right, so we should
probably split into groups.
[Sam] Oh, yeah.
Rashid and...
- Ikumi.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- Good idea, Reg.
[Sam] We're gonna put you two on signs.
May my art be your weapon.
I'm in. I'm excited.
I cannot do bubble
letters, though, just FYI.
Al, we're gonna need you
and the Black AF to take
the lead on social media.
Also, we're gonna need
water, bullhorns, snacks,
and if you get anything gluten-free,
I will smother you in your sleep.
On it and completely turned on.
[Sam] Reggie and I will
handle prep and permits.
We've done it before.
And...
Oh! Joelle and Gabe,
you two can canvass all the
affinity groups on campus,
'cause we need to show a united front.
Great.
- Great.
- Looking forward to it.
[Gabe] Okay, so do Sam and Reggie
hang out on, like, a daily basis?
[Joelle] Gabe, you do know I don't
know where Sam is every hour of the day.
Like, I'm not worried
about Reggie and Sam.
Like, maybe for a second
there, but not really.
I mean, I scoff at being worried.
Scoff.
Actually, I don't even
think I know how to scoff.
I'm pretty sure it's not saying
the word "scoff," though, right?
Am I talking a lot? I feel
like I'm talking a lot.
No, you don't seem worried or weird
or like you're losing your mind.
- [scoffs]
- [sighs]
I'm not this guy, though.
I'm sure everything's fine.
Wait. Why'd you look at me like that?
Like what? I just looked at you.
No, no, no, that was a "This white boy
can't handle what I'm about to say" look.
It's true. That was the look.
Let's just say, if I
were you and Sam was...
Never mind. Probably don't
know what I'm talking about.
No, no, you can't stop there.
If Sam was what?
The Asian Student Alliance
would love to come out.
We have a screening of Bowling
for Columbine that night,
- but we can definitely move it.
- Oh, thank you.
That's fantastic. We
really appreciate it.
Wait. What does Bowling for
Columbine have to do with being Asian?
What? Just 'cause we're Asian,
we can't care about gun violence?
We can only get together
and watch Rashomon
and have conversations about
the need for sword control?
Annie needs to calm the fuck down.
Well, at least she's still backing
us after you low-key hate-crimed her.
- [clicks tongue]
- [chuckles] Did I?
- No.
- Oh.
Hey, remember what you
were saying earlier before
about if you were me...
Fine, I just meant,
if I felt like my relationship
was slipping away...
Wait. Who said slipping away?
If I were you, I'd fight
for my relationship.
Of course, that would require
me to have a relationship.
Young Democrats agree
that there's a problem,
but we already committed to
participating in the town hall.
But I wish we hadn't.
I'd have my group follow you anywhere.
- Nope.
- "Nope" to what?
Just all of it, Mehar.
Hey, what was wrong with that guy?
He seemed nice. He was hot.
Not my type.
Well, what is your type?
- Maybe I know somebody.
- You don't.
Come on. Try me.
[sighs] Stop following me, crazy man.
The LGBTQIA Union would love
to, but we have a screening
of Bowling for
Columbine that night.
Oh, we already talked to Annie,
and they're canceling that, so...
[woman] Actually, we
have our own screening.
But it's nice to hear that
Annie came to her senses
and realized she shouldn't rip off
other people's programming
just to get back at me.
If you come across that bitch
again, tell her it'd be a real shame
if her boyfriend found
out where she really goes
when she says she's at the library.
Okay, so you're busy that night.
- We're gonna go.
- Motherfucker, what?
I got, like, eight million questions.
Girl, so... Gabe!
How Defamation would it be
if Mehar were Annie's
boyfriend? [chuckles]
Well, as long as we're on hypotheticals,
who should be your boyfriend?
Stop fishing for my type, Gabe.
Come on, man. Bond with me.
[laughs] Okay, fine.
- He needs to be smart...
- Mm-hmm.
...nerdy, but kind of cool,
a little bit of a badass.
- Okay.
- Black.
Actually, black as hell
and unapologetic about it.
Kind of serious, but okay when
you make fun of him for it.
Able to carry a lot on his shoulders.
God, and those shoulders...
You got it bad for Reggie.
[gasps]
Joelle.
Why hasn't this happened yet?
Why do you think?
I have no idea.
Do you think Sam and Reggie are...
I don't know.
I never know anything with her.
As soon as I figure her out,
she pulls back, and then I-I
don't know all over again.
You know what I do know?
- She smiles with you.
- [scoffs]
Hey, that's a scoff...
But I'm serious.
I'm not talking a self-satisfied,
"I was dope on the radio" smile
or a "pissing Troy off is fun" smile.
No, with you, it's...
It's a whole-body thing, head to toe.
With you, she smiles from her socks.
Joelle, I called the
cops the other night.
What?
[Reggie] Ooh, I'm sorry, massa.
[Addison] It's a song.
Hell, it's in the title.
- What am I supposed to do? Hum?
- [Reggie] Yes, nigga!
I thought I was protecting everybody.
I thought it would keep things
from getting too out of control.
I thought I was doing the right thing.
I didn't... I couldn't have
known what was gonna happen.
You absolutely cannot tell Sam.
But if I don't, I'm...
Never mention this again,
because if she finds out...
She can't find out.
[Milo] I mean, I like to mix it up.
[Vanessa] More Malbec, Sam?
Or we can actually open
the bottle you brought.
Never had wine product before.
And it's a screw top. Fun.
- Whatever's fine. Thanks.
- [Milo] It's so good.
You guys have to listen to it.
It's, like, all these great
stories of old Hollywood.
You Must Remember
This...it's incredible.
[both] "Written,
narrated,
and produced by Karina Longworth.
That's me."
[both laugh]
Yes!
I keep telling my friends to
listen to it, but none of them do.
I just heard the one about Spencer
Tracy and Katharine Hepburn.
Oh, my God, they were the best.
Yeah, I mean, their movies...
their movies are great,
but wasn't the affair kind of fucked up?
Why do you hate love, Gabe?
When he got sick, she took
five years off to care for him.
It's so romantic.
I love that story. It's...
Sure, but Tracy was
married the entire time.
What about his wife?
[Sam] Okay, things got messy, but...
So the woman who's getting cheated on,
she's just supposed
to make peace with it?
- Who wants some?
- [Sam] I'm not saying they were saints,
but they were soul mates.
Well, it's good to know
you condone affairs.
Anyone want some of Sam's wine?
No! Thank you.
[Sam] Gabe.
Gabe!
If something's wrong, just
tell me something's wrong.
Something's wrong.
- Okay.
- Look, I don't get it, Sam.
Sometimes you want to
spend all your time with me,
and sometimes you pretend I don't exist.
- You're like a dude.
- You're right.
And not even a nice dude.
You're, like, one of those...
What?
I said, "You're right."
Well... well, now I
don't know what to say.
I'm sorry.
Things are...
There's just a lot of...
- It's complicated.
- Yeah.
You're complicated as fuck.
[sighs] That's why I'm crazy about you.
You're a mess, but, like,
in this put-together way.
I love that you use four-letter words
and four-syllable words
in the same sentence.
I love that you're kind of a snob,
but you'll bring a bottle of wine
that's only one step above Colt 45.
I love that you love Billy
Wilder and Garry Marshall.
I love...
you.
Fuck.
I love you.
- Gabe...
- And, look, I know you well enough
to know that, you know,
you're gonna need time,
and I don't expect you
to say anything now.
I love you, too.
[Gabe] So PDA is a yes?
- Mm-mm, it's a no...
- Ah.
- ...with exceptions.
- Ah!
[chuckles] Okay, my turn.
Mm-hmm.
You should know
I'll probably be saying
"nigga" around you a lot
because I'll find it funny
you can't say it back.
[laughs] Okay, works for me.
[laughs] Good, because
it wasn't a question.
- It was a warning.
- [laughs]
Oh, I got a weird one.
Uh, I don't think we should
do the whole, uh, Facebook...
- No. Yeah, I agree.
- Okay.
I mean, you're in love.
You don't need "likes" anymore.
Yeah. Oh, and if things go south,
I do not want to see
that fucking crying emoji.
Ah, yeah, fuck that guy.
- And his tears.
- Right?
Like, we're in an
exclusive relationship here.
It does not involve
you, you sad bastard.
[chuckles]
You know, as long as we're
honest with each other,
who needs extra pressure?
And we're honest with each other.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Can our couple name be "Gam"?
[quietly] Gam...
Like an old-timey lady leg?
Yeah.
- Yeah, I'm in.
- Yeah?
Yeah, 'cause then people will be
like, "Oh, check out them Gam."
[laughs]
[chuckles softly]
Were you watching me sleep, nigga?
[both laughing]
You can't say it back.
[cell phone chimes]
Holy shit.
Uh, hey, maybe... maybe we
should get some breakfast.
Lionel is so goddamn good.
He got the 911 audio from
the night of the party
proving that cop overreacted.
I'm... I'm really glad.
Uh, Sam, uh, I think, uh, we should...
- Hold on, I got to hear it.
- No, Sam.
It's, like, already 8:00, you know?
People are gonna start coming in any...
[man] Campus security.
[Gabe] Hi, yeah. I'm
at 2306 Bradford.
This party's a little out of control.
Could you send some officers?
I'm really afraid
someone's gonna get hurt.
That could be anybody.
[sighs] Okay, look,
I was gonna tell you as
soon as things calmed down.
There's no way I could have known
what was gonna happen to Reggie.
It's not like I called the cops thinking
they were gonna come and pull a gun.
I didn't even know they carried guns.
[sighs] Wha...
Sam...
please say something.
[grunts]
- [dialing]
- [line ringing]
[exhales]
It's Sam. Leave a message.
[line beeps]
Reggie...
my comrade-in-arms,
it was Gabe who dropped
the dime to the pigs.
- [bottle shatters]
- I knew it, my Nubian sister.
I never trusted that white devil no way,
but now we don't have to feel guilty
about your brown skin
up against my browner skin.
[both grunt]
[line ringing]
It's Sam. Leave a message.
[line beeps]
Sam, come on.
I've... I've left you, like,
a stalker-y number of messages.
W-w-we need to talk.
Sam?
[sighs] Come on, Sam, give me a chance.
[shouting]
I don't know, but we need
to figure out something.
Sam's your best friend.
[shouting continues]
[overlapping chatter quiets]
Sam, can we, uh...
- Look, I-I-I can explain...
- Why would you call the cops?
- What the fuck did you think would happen?
- You should have known better.
Do black people make you uncomfortable?
[woman] This isn't a good place for you.
That's not actually what
the article was about.
- Guys, let's cut him some slack.
- He called the cops.
He didn't ask them to
bring guns and go nuts.
Why are you even here right now?
For her.
I-I just wanted to stop the
party from getting out of control.
[Reggie] Well, nice job.
Reggie, I am sorry.
[Gabe] Sam...
Sam, please.
["Guilty of Love" playing]
Fuck.
♪ Mistakes I've made ♪
♪ Whether mine
or happenstance ♪
♪ Guilty of love ♪
♪ Wrong or right,
I'm guilty of love ♪
♪ I confess ♪
♪ Haunted all too
often it seems ♪
♪ In my thoughts
and in my dreams ♪
♪ I make no excuse ♪
♪ I did my part ♪
♪ I have broken hearts ♪