Deadliest Catch (2005–…): Season 11, Episode 9 - Hells Bells - full transcript

[ THUNDER RUMBLES ]

Johnathan: WE'RE JUST STARTING.

ALL RIGHT!

'CAUSE IT'S CHRISTMAS!

I'M FEELING PRETTY GOOD.

THE CANNERY DECIDED
TO TAKE CRAB EARLY THIS YEAR.

THE ASKED FOR CANDIDATES,

SO HERE I AM,
FISHING OVER CHRISTMAS.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY
WE'RE SAVING OUT HERE?

YOU KNOW HOW MANY PRESENTS
I DON'T HAVE TO BUY?

YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE
ARE JUST FINDING OUT,



"WHAT THE HECK?
HE'S OUT FISHING?"

I THINK
THINGS ARE GONNA GO GOOD.

HURRY UP!
MOVE IT [BLEEP]

THE [BLEEP]
YOUR PROBLEM?!

I'LL PUT YOU
ON THE [BLEEP] DECK!

Danny: I CAN BE TWICE AS MEAN
AS ANYBODY ON THIS BOAT,

IF YOU WANT TO TRY IT.

DO YOU WANT TO BE THERE
WHEN I THREATEN THE CAPTAIN?

Johnathan: NEAL!
[ DANNY LAUGHS ]

[ SIREN WAILS ]

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

Narrator: 315 MILES NORTHWEST
OF DUTCH HARBOR...

...ON THE 113-FOOT
TIME BANDIT...

Johnathan: MERRY CHRISTMAS.
[ LAUGHS ]



♪ COME, ALL YE FAITHFUL

IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE.

Narrator: ...'TWAS THE NIGHT
BEFORE CHRISTMAS

ON THE OPILIO GROUNDS...

WHOO!

...AND JOHNATHAN HILLSTRAND
WAS THE ONLY SKIPPER AROUND.

Johnathan:
WONDER HOW MANY MILLIONS OF KIDS
THERE IS TONIGHT

WAITING FOR OL' ST. NICK.

MY PRESENT WILL BE
TO HAVE AN EMPTY DECK.

FIRST POT OF THE SEASON!

ALL RIGHTY, GUYS.

LET'S GET THIS ONE IN.

Man: GOING OVER.

Narrator: THE POTS WERE FLUNG
INTO THE SEA WITH CARE

WITH HOPES THAT SNOW CRAB
WOULD SOON BE THERE.

Johnathan: ALL RIGHT, MEN,
IT'S CHRISTMAS.

YEAH!

Narrator:
OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT.

[ LAUGHS ]

TSS! TSS! TSS! TSS! TSS!

HIGH-FIVE.
TSS! TSS! TSS! TSS! TSS!

IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE.
WE'RE FISHING, GUYS.

EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO DO
ON CHRISTMAS.

Johnathan: NOBODY OUT HERE
BUT US...IDIOTS.

Narrator: AFTER SUFFERING
7,000 POUNDS OF DEAD LOSS

AT THE END
OF THEIR KING SEASONS...

NOW WE'RE JUST BURNING $5 BILLS
AS THEY TOSS THEM UP.

...JOHNATHAN MAKES A BOLD MOVE
TO TURN HIS YEAR AROUND.

HOPEFULLY, WE GET A LOT IN
BEFORE THE NEW YEAR.

THAT'S OUR GOAL.

Narrator: THE CAPTAIN IS LOOKING
TO GET A JUMP

ON THE LUCRATIVE OPILIO GROUNDS

BEFORE THE FLEET FINISHES
THEIR CHRISTMAS DINNER.

Johnathan:
WE GOT 320,000 POUNDS TO CATCH.

AND WE'RE SITTING OVER HERE.

WE'RE GONNA SIT
RIGHT OUT BY MAGOO

WITH HIS LITTLE CHIN,
MOUTH, HIS NOSE.

THE BOYS HAD LUCK DOWN HERE.

Man: GOING OVER.

HOPEFULLY,
WE GET SOME CHRISTMAS LOVE.

WE'RE NOT GETTING CHRISTMAS LOVE
ON THE WEATHER.

THERE'S A HUGE, HUGE STORM
COMING TOWARDS US.

WIND'S SUPPOSED TO
GO AROUND US TWICE.

OKAY, GUYS.

READY TO START HANGING ON.

WE'RE GONNA GET OUR ASS BEAT
OUT HERE.

IT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

BUT I THINK I BROUGHT
THE RIGHT GUYS OUT HERE.

WHOO.
GOING OVER.

THERE WE GO.

WE GOT EDDIE JR., WE GOT AXEL
HILLSTRAND, PHILLIP HILLSTRAND.

HE'S A PRETTY SMART COOKIE.

I'M LIKING
THE LITTLE HILLSTRAND CLAN.

AND THEN,
I LIKE THE NEW GUYS.

Narrator:
TO ROUND OUT HIS YULETIDE CREW,

THE SKIPPER RECRUITED
THREE NEW HANDS.

WE GOT KYLE MANNIS.

BUSTING ASS.

THEN JAMES TOMMY.

TOMMY BOY.

[ SHOUTS ]

AND THEN WE GOT DANNY.

[ LAUGHS ]

CERTIFIABLE NUTCASE.

[ LAUGHS ]

YEARS AND YEARS
OF PRACTICE.

Narrator:
BRINGING NEEDED EXPERIENCE
TO AN OTHERWISE GREEN CREW...

I LIKE HIM.

Narrator: 36-YEAR-OLD BERING SEA
VETERAN DANNY CHIU.

WATCH OUT.
I'M GONNA SMOKE THIS ONE.

Johnathan: DANNY'S FIRING THOSE
BUOYS OVER LIKE A CHAMPION, MAN.

[ LAUGHS ] THAT WAS TEXTBOOK
RIGHT THERE, MAN.

WHOO!

Phillip:
I'M LOVING THIS WEATHER.

IT'S ACTUALLY THE MOST FUN
I'VE HAD IN A COUPLE DAYS.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY.

Johnathan: LOVING OUR CREW.

COULDN'T ASK FOR BETTER.

Man: WHOO!

GET THEM IN THE WATER.

WATCHING FOR SANTA.

Narrator: AS CHRISTMAS EVE
TURNS TO CHRISTMAS DAY...

Johnathan: IT'S CHRISTMAS!
[ LAUGHS ]

Narrator: ...THE MEN SET
THE LAST OF THEIR 120 POTS

IN HURRICANE-FORCE WINDS
AND 25-FOOT SEAS.

ALMOST DONE, MAN.
IT'S A GOOD FEELING.

HANG ON, BOYS.

WHOO-HOO!

HE MUST HAVE BEEN NAUGHTY.

[ SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]

WE GOT A LOT
GOING ON HERE.

YEAH!

HURRY UP, BOYS!

Johnathan:
THEY'RE IN THE WATER.

BRING THE BOYS IN,
LET THEM DRY OFF.

WHOO!

THEY'RE SOME WET, DROWNED RATS,
THAT'S FOR SURE.

YEAH!

Ready!
OKAY.

Man: GOING OVER.

[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
WHOO!

THAT'S A WRAP, BOYS.
THAT'S A WRAP.

OKAY, GUYS.

COME ON IN.

GO BACK TO BED.

SLEEP TIME!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I HOPE THE WHOLE WORLD HAS PEACE
FOR AT LEAST A FEW MINUTES.

Narrator: 2,150 MILES SOUTHEAST
OF THE FISHING GROUNDS,

IN SEATTLE, WASHINGTON...

Jenna:
YOU ALMOST DONE IN HERE?

I'M...CLOSE.

WELL, YOU SHOULD
GET ROLLIN',

'CAUSE THIS BABY COULD COME
AT ANY TIME.

ALL RIGHT.

WHATEVER MAMA WANTS,
MAMA GETS.

[ SIGHS ]

...DECKHAND JAKE ANDERSON HAS
TAKING TIME OFF THE NORTHWESTERN

FOR THE BIRTH
OF HIS FIRST CHILD.

Jake: WE'RE PAINTING THE ROOM.

IT'S BLUE, BUT WE DON'T KNOW
IF WE'RE HAVING A BOY OR A GIRL.

WE CHOSE TO NOT UNWRAP
OUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT

BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M GONNA BE A DAD.

IT SEEMS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

IT'S FUNNY -- A LOT OF TIMES,

I CURSE THE HEAVENS
ABOUT MY JOB,

BUT I'D HAVE NEVER HAD
WHAT I HAVE NOW.

I WOULDN'T GIVE THAT AWAY
FOR THE WORLD.

[ CELLPHONE RINGING ]

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

Jake: 'SUP, BRO?
ELLIOT: What's up, doggie?

NOTHING.
WHAT'S GOING ON?

ARE YOU DOING OKAY?

Yeah.

Um...I've been here now for
48 days, something like that.

Narrator: LAST KING SEASON...

DRUGS HAVE GOT A HOLD ON HIM.

Narrator:
...SAGA CAPTAIN ELLIOTT NEESE
LOST CONTROL OF HIS LIFE...

...AND HIS BOAT.

I WON'T BE ANYBODY'S BITCH.

I'D KILL A [BLEEP]
BEFORE I'M ANYBODY'S BITCH.

Dude,
I'm tired of being sick.

I'm not gonna be able
to drive the boat for opies.

You know that, right?

NO, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

So, I was calling to see
if you might be interested

in taking my spot
and driving the boat.

WELL, I'M --

I know you've been
on the Northwest,

and those guys
keep trying to keep you down.

You need to spread your wings
a little bit, dude.

You've been on deck
long enough.

YOU DON'T JUST JUMP UP HERE
AND START RUNNING A BOAT.

IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.
I'M SORRY.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
HOW TO FEEL RIGHT NOW.

YOU KNOW WHAT I WENT THROUGH
LAST TIME WITH THE KISKA, MAN.

Mike:
YOU DON'T KNOW DIDDLY-SQUAT.

TO JUST THROW YOU IN HERE
AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN.

AND I DON'T WANT TO GET THERE,
AND THEM THINKING THAT,

YOU KNOW, HERE'S THE
FAKE SKIPPER THAT'S COMING IN.

Well, I mean,
I wouldn't ask

if I didn't think
you were ready, you know?

It's time to get
in the captain's seat.

You've been on deck
long enough.

WELL, I'M...

Yeah, I mean, you'd be doing me
a big favor, dude.

I'M A LITTLE SCARED, BUT...

I'M PRETTY SURE
THAT I CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

Right on, man.

Well, congratulations, dude.
You're a crab captain.

[ Laughs ]
Take care of my baby, dude.

That's the only thing
I have left, man.

That's, like, my angel.

Thank you.
YEAH, THANK YOU.

I'll talk to you
in a bit.

WHY IS IT THAT EVERYTHING
HAPPENS AT ONCE?

[ LAUGHS ]

MM.

Narrator: 315 MILES NORTHWEST
OF DUTCH HARBOR...

[ BELLS JINGLE ]

ON THE 113-FOOT TIME BANDIT...

...WITH THE CREW SLEEPING
SOUNDLY IN THEIR RACKS...

BROUGHT SOME CHEAP PRESENTS.
[ CHUCKLES ]

Narrator:
...ENGINEER NEAL HILLSTRAND
PLAYS SANTA IN THE GALLEY.

Neal: SINCE I GOT BOTH MY BOYS
OUT HERE NOW,

I GET TO SPEND CHRISTMAS
WITH THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME.

[ CHUCKLES ]

TURN ON SOME LIGHTS HERE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ BELLS JINGLING ]

REQUEST FOR
PHILLIP AND AXEL.

MERRY CHRISTMAS?

WHAT?

NEVER SEE
THAT [BLEEP] DO YOU?

BREAKFAST IS READY,
TOO, ALMOST.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHAT THE HELL?!

SOMETHING THAT'LL ROLL AROUND,
MAKE NOISE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I GOT A BIG TRUCK!

[ CHUCKLES ]
THANKS, NEAL!

Man: THANKS, NEAL!

WHOO-HOO!

[ LAUGHTER ]

REMIND ME NEVER TO COME OUT HERE
FOR CHRISTMAS AGAIN.

THESE PRESENTS SUCK!

I'M OUT OF HERE!

[ LAUGHTER ]
MERRY CHRISTMAS.

LET'S GO PULL SOME POTS.

BRING ON THE GAMES.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN.

READY, GUYS?

LET'S DO THIS THING.

Narrator: IN THE FINAL HOURS
OF CHRISTMAS DAY...

Man: YEAH!
EDDIE'S READY!

...THE TIME BANDIT
WILL SOON FIND OUT

IF THEIR POTS ARE STUFFED
WITH CRAB OR COAL.

Johnathan:
THERE'S NOBODY OUT HERE.
EVERYONE'S HOME FOR CHRISTMAS.

THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE WITH
REALLY FAT BELLIES ON THE COUCH

GOING, "OH, MY GOD. I CAN'T
BELIEVE I ATE ALL THAT PIE."

AND THEN THERE'S US.

GOT TO GET SOME GOOD NUMBERS,
GOBBLE THEM UP.

IT'S LIKE WE'RE LITTLE KIDS.

"WHAT DO WE GOT?
WHAT DO WE GOT?"

I WANT POTFULS!

COME ON!

COME ON, CHRISTMAS SOAK.

YEAH!

OPIE, OPIE!

Man: HOLY!
[ SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]

LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT IT!
[ LAUGHS ]

THAT'S SOME CRAB THERE!

BOOM!

THERE'S SOME CRAB
IN THAT POT!

COME TO PAPA!

UNH! YEAH!

THAT IS WHAT
WE ARE LOOKING FOR.

HOLY MOTHER OF PEARLS.

[ SMOOCHES ]

Man: WHOO!

WHAT DID WE GET, EDDIE?

574.

YEAH, BABY!

THIS ONE NEEDS TO COME UP
JUST LIKE THAT LAST ONE.

Man: OH, YEAH!

ALL DAY!

WHOO!

[ LAUGHS ]
OH, LOOK AT THAT POT, DUDE.

HOLY [BLEEP]

[ LAUGHS ]

Man:
THIS IS CRAZY.

[ CHEERING ]

YOU LIKE THAT STUFF, DANNY?
IS THAT GOOD COLOR?

WHOO-HOO!

WHOO-HOO!

YEP. DANNY LIKES IT.

[ CHUCKLES ]
IT'S GLOW-STICK WORTHY, I GUESS.

JUST MAKES ME SMILE.

I GOT A GUY IN THE TABLE.

DANNY'S IN THE TABLE
SORTING CRAB, MAN.

IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S STANDING UP
IN THE TABLE ALMOST.

WE'RE IN CHRISTMAS LAND.

WE GOT MUNCHKINS.
[ LAUGHS ]

OR -- THAT'S "THE WIZARD OF OZ."

[ CHUCKLES ]
WE GOT, UH...ELVES.

FASTEST GUY I EVER SEEN --
CAT-LIKE.

WILD CAT, DUDE.
FERAL [BLEEP] CAT.

Narrator: FROM THE WHEELHOUSE...

HURRY UP, BOYS!

...NEW DECKHAND DANNY CHIU
IS A CAPTAIN'S DREAM.

THAT'S A BALL-BUSTER THERE.

...BUT ON DECK...

COME ON! HURRY UP!

QUIT PLAYING
WITH THE CRAB.

LET'S GO [BLEEP] FILL
SOME BAIT SACKS.

...HE'S A GREENHORN'S
WORST NIGHTMARE.

HEY, THERE'S SOME COD
OVER THERE.

YOU [BLEEP] SUCK!

MAYBE HE'LL MOVE
A LITTLE BIT NOW.

EITHER THAT, OR HE'LL STAB ME
WHEN I'M SLEEPING.

[ CHUCKLES ]

Danny: DON'T MISTAKE
MY KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS,

'CAUSE I'LL CHUCK YOU OUT
WITH THE...

[BLEEP] UNNECESSARY.

[ GROANS ]

[BLEEP]

HEY.
WHAT THE [BLEEP] YOUR PROBLEM?

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY [BLEEP]
SUPPOSED TO THROW CRAB IN.

QUIT BEING A [BLEEP]
LET'S DO SOME WORK!

WHAT'S WRONG
WITH YOU, MAN?

Man: HE THINKS YOU HATE HIM.
[ LAUGHS ]

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

Johnathan:
DANNY... [ LAUGHS ]

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT DANNY WAS DOING,

BUT HE JUST WENT MEDIEVAL
ON HIM.

[ LAUGHS ]

LONG AS IT'S NOT TOWARDS ME.

Johnathan:
THE MERRY CHRISTMAS THING --

THAT'S ALL OVER WITH.
[ CHUCKLES ]

HE HIT ME WITH A TOTE.

NOT THAT IT HURT,
BUT STILL, DUDE.

I BELIEVE WE WILL DELIVER
ON TIME WITH A FULL LOAD.

IF WE DON'T MOVE FAST ENOUGH,
WE CAN'T HAUL ALL THE GEAR.

FEEL LIKE I'M [BLEEP]
WASTING TIME OVER HERE.

IF YOU AIN'T MOVING,

I GOT A FRESH FISH
THAT'S COMING FOR YOU.

I GOT EYES
ALL AROUND HERE.

PRETTY SURE
I'M DOING MY JOB.

IF JOHNATHAN HAS A PROBLEM WITH
IT, THEN HE'LL SAY SOMETHING.

LIKE, THE OTHER GUYS
WILL SAY SOMETHING.

HE DIDN'T. HE CAME OVER
AND RESPONDED WITH BULL[BLEEP]

MOVE IT, MOTHER[BLEEP]

ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
YOU JUST [BLEEP] DID THAT?!

WE'RE CRABBING.
IT'S A CRAB DECK.

MOVE YOUR ASS,
LITTLE GIRL.

CAN'T HEAR YOU. I JUST KNOW
THAT YOU'RE A [BLEEP] UP [BLEEP]

I DON'T [BLEEP]
READ LIPS.

I CAN'T [BLEEP]
HEAR YOU.

YOU COME OVER
AND TELL ME.

UNLESS I GET A LITTLE BIT
OF RESPECT AROUND HERE,

SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET HURT.

WHOO.

NO. NO ONE CARES
HOW GOOD OF A CRABBER YOU ARE

IF YOU CAN'T GET ALONG.

IT'S YOUR DAD'S BOAT, MAN.

[BLEEP] SHOW WHAT YOU GOT.

STEREOTYPICAL
[BLEEP] CONCEITED...

ALL HIS STUPID ANTICS THAT
MAKE HIM FAST ON THIS BOAT --

THEY'RE UNSAFE
AND UNNECESSARY.

HE'S JUST A [BLEEP] [BLEEP]

JUST TRYING
TO CREATE SOME DISTANCE,

'CAUSE I WANT --
I LOVE THIS JOB,

AND HE IS RUINING IT
FOR ME.

PHILLIP BETTER
SHUT THE [BLEEP] UP AND NOT --

AND JUST TAKE IT.

I NEED DANNY
MORE THAN PHILLIP.

JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE MY NEPHEW
DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN SIT THERE

AND YELL AT A VETERAN,

WHICH HAS AN ATTITUDE,
BUT WHO GIVES A [BLEEP]

IT'S FINE.
I'M JUST GONNA BE CHILL.

CHILLY OPILIO.

DUDE, STOP
[BLEEP] HITTING ME!

GET THE [BLEEP]
OUT OF MY WAY [BLEEP]

DUDE,
I'M NOT IN YOUR WAY.

YOU CAN
WORK AROUND ME LIKE --

GET THE [BLEEP]
OUT OF MY WAY.

CALM THE [BLEEP] DOWN.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM,
PHILLIP?

YOU KNOW, HOW [BLEEP] OLD
ARE YOU MOTHER[BLEEP]

I MEAN, IT'S CHRISTMAS.
Man: YES.

SON OF A GUN.

[BLEEP]
WE JUST GOT OUT HERE!

SHUT YOUR [BLEEP] MOUTH,
BECAUSE IT'S SERIOUS [BLEEP]

THIS GUY WANTS
TO [BLEEP] KILL YOU, PHILLIP.

IT'S GONNA BE
A LONG [BLEEP] TRIP.

Danny: YOU WANT ME
TO RUN OVER THERE

AND CHECK YOU
AND PUT YOU ON THE FLOOR?

THAT'S NOT HOW
YOU STUFF SOMETHING [BLEEP]

GRAB THE BAIT
AND PUT IT IN THERE.

WHAT? WHAT?
FASTER, FASTER, FASTER.

WHAT THE [BLEEP]
DID YOU SAY?

FASTER, FASTER,
FASTER, FASTER.

DID YOU
JUST THREATEN ME, DUDE.

I SAID MOVE FASTER.

NO. NO, WHAT DID YOU SAY BEFORE?
PUTTING ME ON THE DECK?

I'LL PUT YOU
ON THE [BLEEP] DECK [BLEEP]

DO IT. DO IT.

DO YOUR [BLEEP] JOB!
I [BLEEP] HEAR YOU.

YOU WANT ME TO DO IT?!

DID YOU JUST SLAP ME?

BACK UP! CALM DOWN!

CALM DOWN!

Johnathan:
SETTLE DOWN, EVERYBODY.

EVERYBODY STOP RIGHT NOW.

COME OVER HERE
AND BE A MAN.

WHAT'S
THE [BLEEP] PROBLEM?

HE JUST HIT MY BROTHER
IN THE FACE.

THERE'S
A [BLEEP] PROBLEM.

WE DON'T FIGHT
ON THIS BOAT.

E-L-E --
EVERYONE LOVE EVERYONE.

IT'S [BLEEP] BULL[BLEEP]

LITTLE PUNK KID.

KEEP WALKING AROUND

AND LETTING EVERYBODY ELSE
CARRY YOUR WEIGHT.

I'LL BE YOU THAT FEELS
REAL GOOD.

I'M GONNA [BLEEP]
YOUR [BLEEP] UP, KID.

KNOCK IT OFF!

PUNK.

WHAT THE [BLEEP]

THAT'S JUST
[BLEEP] RIDICULOUS.

WHAT THE HELL?
THEY'RE A BUNCH OF BABIES.

GOT A BUNCH OF BABIES
ON HERE.

JUST DON'T TALK
TO EACH OTHER.

GET THROUGH THE TRIP,
AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT,

GET THE [BLEEP] OFF
OF THIS BOAT.

PRETTY MUCH THE CHRISTMAS DREAM
RIGHT NOW.

Narrator:
IN SEATTLE, WASHINGTON...

JAKE ANDERSON
AND A VERY PREGNANT JENNA

CHECK IN
ON THEIR BABY'S PROGRESS.

[ ULTRASOUND WARBLING ]
SOUNDS PERFECT.

THAT'S CRAZY.

LITTLE TROUBLEMAKER
IN THERE.

I THINK WOMEN
ARE A LOT TOUGHER THAN MEN.

I DON'T KNOW
IF I COULD HANDLE THIS.

ALL RIGHT.

JENNA'S PROBABLY GONNA
GO INTO LABOR IN THE NEXT WEEK.

YOU COULD START
HAVING CONTRACTIONS TONIGHT.

YOU COULD
START HAVING CONTRACTIONS,

THEY COULD GO AWAY.

IT SORT OF ALL DEPENDS ON
KIND OF WHEN YOUR BODY'S READY.

Jake: I WANT TO HEAR
IT'S ON ITS WAY OUT.

THE BOAT WANTS ME TO FLY
WITHIN A COUPLE DAYS.

IN JUST TWO DAYS,

JAKE IS SCHEDULED TO REPORT
FOR DUTY AS CAPTAIN OF THE SAGA.

SO, I'M TRYING TO REMAIN CALM,
BUT, UH, DEEP DOWN INSIDE,

I'M JUST --
I AM A WRECK.

I'LL BET. I MEAN,
THIS IS, LIKE, YOU KNOW,

GONNA BE THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY
OF YOUR LIFE.

I THOUGHT
WE COULD INDUCE.

LIKE, "OH, YEAH, YOU KNOW,
GIVE HER SOME PILLS AND..."

THERE'S NO MEDICAL INDICATION TO
INDUCE YOU BEFORE 41 WEEKS.

YOU SAID, SARA,
THAT I COULD BE THE ONE

THAT HANDS HER THE BABY
AND CUTS THE UMBILICAL CORD,

AND I'M GONNA BE DISAPPOINTED
IF I MISS THAT BECAUSE --

IT'S JUST
THAT IF THERE'S NOT

A MEDICAL INDICATION
FOR DOING IT, WHY WOULD WE --

THIS IS A MEDICAL INDICATION
RIGHT HERE!

[ LAUGHTER ]

HIS MENTAL HEALTH IS
A MEDICAL INDICATION.

EVERYBODY KNOWS
I'M CRAZY!

I AM JUST HOPING...

1,960 MILES NORTHWEST,
IN DUTCH HARBOR...

EVERYTHING'S PRETTY MUCH READY.

I MEAN, WE'RE PRETTY MUCH READY.

WE JUST NEED TO GET GOING HERE.

THERE'S NO REASON
TO STICK AROUND IN TOWN.

I WANT TO GO.

Narrator: ...ON
THE 125-FOOT NORTHWESTERN...

Sig:
UH, IT'S THE END OF DECEMBER.

WE'VE GOT
AN EARLY DELIVERY DATE,

AND I WANT TO GET A JUMP-START
ON THE WHOLE SEASON, IF I CAN.

Narrator: ...CAPTAIN SIG HANSEN
PREPARES TO EMBARK

ON AN EARLY OPILIO TRIP...

Sig: THINGS HAVE CHANGED.

WE'VE GOT A NEW CREW.

Narrator: ...WITHOUT
TWO OF HIS TRUSTED DECKHANDS.

MATT IS AT HOME RIGHT NOW.

HE'S OFF THE BOAT.

JAKE HAS A KID ON THE WAY.

HE ASKED IF HE COULD
TAKE A TRIP OFF HERE.

NEED SOME HELP!

AND BADGER TOOK HIS SPOT.
HE WAS ON THE SAGA.

I KNOW THAT THERE'S

SUBSTANCE-ABUSE ISSUES
IN HIS LIFE.

AS LONG AS HE CAN STAY CLEAN,
HE'S A GOOD DECKHAND,

AND THAT'S WHAT I NEED.

GOOD!

THANK GOD EDGAR'S BACK.

WE MISSED YOU.

Narrator:
AFTER BEING SIDELINED WITH
A DEGENERATIVE SPINAL INJURY,

DECK BOSS EDGAR HANSEN
IS BACK IN THE GAME.

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

GOOD. FEEL LIKE
A MILLION BUCKS.

IRREVERSIBLE, BUT...

Sig: I DIDN'T KNOW
IF HE WAS COMING BACK OR NOT,

SO THAT'S GOOD
TO HAVE HIM HERE.

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM,
AS WELL.

LOSING JAKE WAS BAD ENOUGH,
AND MATT, YOU KNOW?

DON'T BE FOOLED BY AGE.

WE'RE TOUGHER
THAN 23-YEAR-OLDS.

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS.

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS.
WATCH WHAT HAPPENS.

MOST OF THE BOATS
ARE STILL IN TOWN HERE.

THERE'S NOT A LOT OF GUYS
OUT THERE FISHING.

I THINK JOHN
MIGHT BE OUT THERE ALREADY,

AND I KNOW BILL WAS COMING UP
PRETTY SOON.

I WANT TO JUST GO.

WE'LL SPEND OUR NEW YEAR'S
OUT THERE, AND SO BE IT.

IT'S OVERRATED ANYWAY,
AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.

[ BIRD CALLS ]

Narrator: ACROSS THE DOCK...
SITS THE 118-FOOT CAPE CAUTION.

HEY, ZACK.
YOU CAN'T SEE [BLEEP]

YOU CAN'T DRIVE THE BOAT
FROM OVER HERE.

YOU CAN SEE BETTER
ON THIS SIDE

THAN YOU CAN SEE
ON THAT SIDE.

YOU WANT TO MOVE
THESE THREE POTS?

YEP.
FIRE UP THE MAINS.

WE'LL REDO THIS [BLEEP]
ON THE WAY OUT.

Narrator: AND CAPTAIN
"WILD" BILL WICHROWSKI --

HE'S ALSO READY
TO THROW LINES.

TRYING TO BE OFFICIAL.

CAPTAIN BILL'S CRANKY.

I'M CONFUSED WHY IT TOOK SO LONG
TO GET THE GEAR ON.

WE HAD FIVE GUYS.

YOU WOULD THINK WE WOULD BE
QUICKER AND MORE EFFICIENT,

BUT NOW I'M HOPING THAT THESE
GUYS FALL IN ORDER PRETTY QUICK.

Narrator: THIS OPILIO SEASON,

THE CAPE CAUTION
WILL BREAK IN THREE NEW HANDS.

WELL, WE GOT DIRTY.

YOU GOT DIRTY.

AND OLD MAN ADAM.

TIME TO START
MAKING MONEY.

AND SOME GUY
FROM NEW YORK.

YEAH.
SEE HOW LONG HE LASTS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

Narrator:
THE NEW GREENHORN ON BOARD

IS A 19-YEAR-OLD BARBACK FROM
NEW YORK CITY, JOHN WALCHEK.

HEY, JOHN, DID BEING A BARBACK
PREPARE YOU FOR THIS JOB?

OH, ABSOLUTELY NOT.

OH. DON'T WORRY.

THERE'S A LOT OF DISHES IN
YOUR FUTURE, SO MAYBE IT WILL.

THAT IS THE ONE THING

I PROBABLY WILL
HAVE SOME EXPERIENCE WITH.

Bill: AS SOON
AS THAT LAST POT'S HANGING,

LET'S GO AHEAD
AND THROW THE LINES.

CLEAR!

WE'RE UNDERWAY, BABY.
HEADING OUT TO SEA.

FIRST TRIP FOR OPILIOS
COMING UP RIGHT NOW.

Narrator: WITH THE LAST OF THEIR
GEAR ABOARD, THE CAPE CAUTION...

THERE'S BILL.
YOU GUYS READY?

IT'S ALL CLEAR!

Narrator: ...AND NORTHWESTERN
HEAD OFF TO STAKE THEIR CLAIM.

Sig: TIME TO LEAVE.

John: GOODBYE, LAND.

GOODBYE, DUTCH HARBOR.

Narrator: 315 MILES NORTHWEST,
ON THE TIME BANDIT...

Johnathan:
DAY TWO, CAPTAIN'S LOG.

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TELL YOU
WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN ON DECK.

WHAT'S THAT, COOKIE MONSTER?
THESE GUYS ARE NO FUN?

Narrator: ....JOHNATHAN'S SEASON
TAKES A BIZARRE TURN.

IT'S HARD
TO BE WEIRDER THAN ME.

BUT IT'S PRETTY EASY OUT THERE,
IT LOOKS LIKE.

Narrator: LAST EVENING...

NO. NO, WHAT DID YOU SAY BEFORE?
PUTTING ME ON THE DECK?

I'LL PUT YOU
ON THE [BLEEP] DECK [BLEEP]

...A FIGHT BROKE OUT
BETWEEN NEW DECKHAND DANNY CHIU

AND JOHNATHAN'S NEPHEW,
PHILLIP.

EVERYBODY STOP RIGHT NOW.

Narrator: NOW DANNY WORKS
THE DECK WITH THE HELP...

OF THE COOKIE MONSTER?

[ GROWLS ]

OH, YEAH,
I LIKE THIS MOTHER. NO!

Johnathan: WOW!
WE GOT A WACKO ON HERE.

[ LAUGHING ]

I NEED TO GET TO
BRING A PHYSIATRIST ON.

GOOD THING WE DID BACKGROUND
CHECKS ON EVERYBODY, ANDY.

THANKS.
[ LAUGHS ]

I JUST BROUGHT SOMEBODY OUT
TO TALK TO

'CAUSE EVERYBODY'S
TOO QUIET TODAY.

SAID HE WANTED TO COME OUT
AND SEE THE CRABS,

PLAY AROUND A LITTLE BIT.

[ Deep voice ]
"I'VE NEVER SEEN NOTHING
SO PRETTY ALL MY LIFE," HE SAID.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I THINK HE REALLY WANTS TO SEE
A GROWN MAN CRY, THOUGH.

I'LL HELP HIM OUT
WITH THAT ONE.

PART OF YOUR BIG REPORT CARD
OF BEING A GOOD CREW MEMBER,

KEEPING A JOB ON THIS BOAT IS
"GETS ALONG WELL WITH OTHERS."

BUT I GOT TO GET THROUGH
THIS TRIP, MAN.

THESE ARE THE GUYS I GOT.

GOT TO MAKE IT WORK.

WHOO!

ROGER, ROGER.

WHOO!
[ LAUGHS ]

Man: THERE WE GO.

LET'S GO, LET'S GO!
HE'S WAITING ON HER!

THAT DOOR! DOOR!

WANT ME TO DO IT?

OW! STOP!

[ GROANS ]

Phillip: HEY!
YEAH?

I NEED HELP.
WHAT HAPPENED?

JUST CRUSHED
MY [BLEEP] HAND.

YOU JUST CRUSHED
YOUR HAND?

IT'S BLEEDING A LOT.
NEAL!

CRUSHED HIS HAND!

Narrator:
ON THE TIME BANDIT...

Phillip: HEY!
Johnathan: YEAH?

I NEED HELP.
WHAT HAPPENED?

JUST CRUSHED
MY [BLEEP] HAND.

YOU JUST CRUSHED
YOUR HAND?

BLEEDING A LOT.
NEAL!

CRUSHED HIS HAND!

Narrator: WHILE DUMPING CRAB
ONTO THE TABLE...

OW! STOP!

GREENHORN PHILLIP HILLSTRAND
CAUGHT HIS HAND

BETWEEN THE STEEL TABLE
AND AN 800-POUND POT.

SMASH IT DOWN ON YOU?

OKAY.

OH [BLEEP]
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE YOU IN.

Neal: GET SOME ICE ON IT.

WE'RE GONNA PROBABLY HAVE TO
GO TO THE ISLAND, GUYS.

BUT LET'S GET THIS POT OVER.

NEVER PUT YOUR HAND THERE.

AND IT CAME DOWN AND...

LAST THING I WANTED TO DO TODAY
WAS HURT MY BROTHER.

[BLEEP]

[ WATER RUNNING ]

STOP THE BLEEDING.

BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE.

SEE HOW BAD
THIS IS BLEEDING.

Narrator:
PHILLIP'S FATHER, NEAL, ACCESSES
THE DAMAGE TO HIS SON'S HAND.

MAKE IT STOP BLEEDING.

THIS MIGHT STING
A LITTLE BIT.

HOW'S YOUR HAND FEELING?
Phillip: PROBABLY BROKEN.

BROKEN YOUR HAND.
YOUR HAND LOOKS BROKEN.

[ CLUCKING ]

[BLEEP]

WE DON'T HAVE
NO PAINKILLERS.

THERE'S SO MANY PEOPLE
IN MY WAY.

I CAN'T SEE
EVERYONE'S FINGERS.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

Johnathan: COME HERE, NEAL.

ALL RIGHT, I'M COMING.
HOLD ON.

[ GROANS ]

HEY, GUYS.

COME ON IN.

[BLEEP]

THE CAPTAIN SETS A COURSE
FOR ST. PAUL

TO GET HIS NEPHEW
MEDICAL ATTENTION.

Johnathan: SORRY, BROTHER.

HE'S [BLEEP] YOU KNOW?

HE'S GONNA HAVE
A [BLEEP] HAVE AN OPERATION,

PROBABLY, ON HIS HAND.

HE'S GOT BROKEN [BLEEP] BONES,
I GUARANTEE YOU.

NOBODY PUTS THEIR HAND
ON THE TABLE THERE.

BECAUSE ONE GUY'S
ON THE VERY BACK SIDE.

HE'S -- HE'S SUPPOSED TO DO
THE [BLEEP] DOOR.

HE DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BE.

I NEED EVERYONE
HELPING EVERYBODY OUT,

WATCHING OUT
FOR EVERYBODY.

I NEED A GUY TELLING HIM,

"HEY, DON'T
PUT YOUR HAND THERE, DUDE."

[ GROANS ]

HE JUST DIDN'T KNOW BETTER.

YOU KNOW, HE'S A GOOD HAND.
HE'S STEADY.

LAST GUY I EVER WANTED
TO SEE GETTING HURT.

WE'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

[BLEEP]

I WAS JUST HAVING
A GREAT TIME, MAN.

PULLING
[BLEEP] GREAT NUMBERS.

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, BRO.

NOT A GOOD DAY.

HURT MY BROTHER'S KID, MAN.

I SHOULD HAVE JUST KEPT HIM
IN THE BAIT CORNER.

HE'D HAVE BEEN [BLEEP] OVER
THERE, SAFE, JUST DOING BAIT.

[BLEEP] GUYS YELLING AT HIM

[BLEEP] TELLING HIM TO DO
[BLEEP] MORE [BLEEP]

AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS.

JUST [BLEEP] GOING
AS FAST AS I CAN.

Narrator: 20 MILES SOUTHWEST,
ON THE CAPE CAUTION...

[ COUGHS, RETCHES ]

...GREENHORN JOHN WALCHEK
IS ENJOYING

HIS VERY FIRST DAY
ON THE BERING SEA.

[ LAUGHS ]

OH.
ARE YOU HUNGRY?

NAH, NO, I'M ALL RIGHT FOR NOW.
[ LAUGHS ]

[BLEEP] NEW GUY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

Bill:
OKAY, BOYS, LET'S GO.

Narrator:
TO KICK OFF HIS OPIE SEASON...

I'M A LITTLE EARLIER
THAN WHERE I WANT TO BE,

BUT WE'RE OFF
THE END OF THE RAZOR.

Narrator: ...CAPTAIN
"WILD" BILL WICHROWSKI

SETTLES ON FAMILIAR GROUNDS.

Bill: FISHED HERE I DON'T KNOW
HOW MANY TIMES, HOW MANY YEARS.

HERE WE GO.

THIS IS THE RAZOR.

ALL THE WAY THROUGH HERE,
THIS IS ALWAYS GOOD FISHING,

SO BE AS GOOD A PLACE
TO START AS ANY.

THESE GUYS ARE READY TO GO.

THEY GOT A TON
OF BAIT SETUPS READY,

SO I GUESS WE'LL JUST START

SPRINKLING CRAB POTS
ACROSS THE BERING SEA.

ALL RIGHT, FIRST CRAB POT.
WISH IT WELL, BOYS.

[ MEN CHEERING ]

2015 OPILIO. IT HAS BEGUN.

AND IT WON'T GO.

LITTLE HELP?

THANK YOU.

[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]

I'LL BE GLAD TO GET THESE
IN THE WATER AND...

WE JUST GOT TO CATCH AS MUCH
AS WE CAN AS QUICK AS WE CAN.

BILLY'S GOT TO FIND SOME CRAB.

Adam: GET IT, BABY!

Nick: OH!

Bill: OH, NO WAY. ARE THEY DOING
THE COD BLOOD THING?

THAT'S [BLEEP] GROSS.

IT IS INITIATION TIME HERE
ON THE CAPE CAUTION.

IT'S NOT REALLY A TRADITION.

IT'S SOMETHING THEY MADE UP
THAT THEY WON'T DO.

Nick:
YOU WANT SOME MORE?

HEY, DON'T PUT THE GLASS AWAY,
ZACK AND NICK.

YOU GUYS ARE NEXT.

WHAT?!
I DID IT LAST SEASON.

NO, YOU DIDN'T.

OH, YEAH.

CHEERS.

[ ALL GROAN ]

YUCK!

BILL, GET DOWN HERE!
IT'S YOUR TURN NEXT.

[BLEEP] YOU.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THAT'S WILD BILL FOR "NO."

Narrator: 310 MILES NORTH
OF DUTCH HARBOR...

[ EDGAR GROANS ]
SON OF A BITCH.

[ RETCHES ]

...ON THE NORTHWESTERN...

HAD TO BUY A ROTTEN COD,
DIDN'T YOU?

WHOO!

UGH!

LOVE IT.

[ RETCHES ]

Sig: WELL, IT'S THE BEGINNING
OF OUR OPIE SEASON.

IT'S EXCITING
TO GET OUT HERE AGAIN.

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET THESE POTS
OFF THE BOAT.

WE'RE GETTING CLOSE TO WHERE
I WANT TO DUMP THIS GEAR.

AND I IMAGINE THE GUYS ARE
PRETTY CLOSE TO GETTING READY.

I THINK THEY GOT TO DO

THEIR CELEBRATORY
BITING THE HEAD OFF THE HERRING.

ONE OF THESE GUYS IS GONNA
HAVE TO DO IT.

WHO?

BADGER.
[ CHUCKLES ]

WHY DO THEY CALL YOU BADGER,
ANYWAY?

IT'S HIS LAST NAME.
MY NAME.

OH, REALLY?

SO, WHO'S
OUR HERRING GUY?

YOU KNOW WHO.

YOU WANT ME TO WARM THAT UP
FOR YOU? IT'S EASIER.

YOU GAVE HIM
A FROZEN ONE?

COME ON, SPUNKY!

OH!

YOU GOT TO BITE THE HEAD OFF,
NOT THE GUTS.

NEW GUYS...

[ LAUGHTER ]
[ RETCHES ]

COME ON,
ONE MORE TIME FOR --

ONE MORE BITE
FOR GOOD LUCK.

YEAH, BUDDY!

DID HE BITE --
DID HE SWALLOW THAT?

OH, MY GOD!
I WANT TO PUKE!

SPIT IT OUT!
[ RETCHES ]

DON'T SW--

ATTABOY!

OH, MY GOD!

[ LAUGHS ]

OKAY, GUYS,
LET'S GET THIS STUFF OFF.

Man:
ALL RIGHT, BOSS MAN.

[ FOGHORN SOUNDS IN DISTANCE ]

Narrator: 2,140 MILES SOUTHEAST,
IN SEATTLE, WASHINGTON...

SO, WE'RE GETTING CLOSE.

...FOR JAKE AND JENNA ANDERSON,
THE BIG DAY FINALLY ARRIVES.

Sara: I WOULD SUSPECT
THAT SHE'S GONNA HAVE A BABY

BEFORE TOMORROW MORNING.

BUT IT'S HARD TO SAY
EXACTLY WHEN

'CAUSE THIS IS KIND OF
A WAIT-AND-WATCH PROCESS.

[ GRUNTS ]

JUST TRY AND GRUNT
THROUGH IT.

LIKE, PUSH DOWN
TOWARDS YOUR BOTTOM.

TRY NOT TO PUSH TOO HARD.
LITTLE GRUNTS.

THERE YOU GO.
COME ON.

PUSH, PUSH, PUSH, PUSH,
PUSH, PUSH, PUSH.

GOOD JOB. BRING THAT BABY DOWN.
SHOW US THAT BABY.

THERE YOU GO.

Jenna: AAH!
BREATHE.

AND GET RIGHT BACK AT IT.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
TAKE A GOOD, DEEP BREATH.

OKAY. YOU CAN REST.

YEAH.

GOOD JOB, JENNA.

[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]

Narrator: WITH JAKE'S FLIGHT TO
DUTCH HARBOR FAST APPROACHING...

Jake: THE BABY DOES NOT WANT
TO GET OUT OF BED.

...BABY ANDERSON HAS YET
TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE.

YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY
GET SOME REST, OKAY?

BASICALLY, LET YOU TAKE
LIKE A TWO-HOUR NAP.

Jenna: OKAY.

AND JUST LET THE BABY
COME DOWN NATURALLY ON ITS OWN.

IT'S 10:00.

6:00 FLIGHT,
AND YOU GOT TO BE THERE AT 5:00.

Jenna: OH [BLEEP] YOU MIGHT MISS
YOUR FLIGHT. WHATEVER.

[ SIGHS ]

JENNA, YOU GOT TO STAY
IN THE MOMENT.

[ CELLPHONE BUZZING ]

[ GROANS ]

[ FOGHORN SOUNDS IN DISTANCE ]

Narrator:
2,080 MILES NORTHWEST...

IN ST. PAUL HARBOR...

Johnathan: GOING TO TOWN
TO TAKE PHILLIP TO THE CLINIC.

GOT THE WHOLE [BLEEP] TEAM
READY TO GO.

...THE TIME BANDIT ARRIVES TO
GET EMERGENCY MEDICAL ATTENTION

FOR GREENHORN
PHILLIP HILLSTRAND.

JUST REMEMBER, WE CAN PACK UP
THE REST OF YOUR [BLEEP]

WE'LL BRING IT HOME WITH ME
OR WHATEVER,

'CAUSE YOU GOT ONE HAND.

I'LL HAVE THE GUYS PACK UP
THE REST OF YOUR STUFF.

COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.

COULD HAVE
CUT HIS HAND OFF.

HAVE NO HAND.

THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
YEAH.

THANKS FOR ALL
YOUR HARD WORK, EFFORT.

YEAH.
YOU'RE A GOOD HAND.

WE'LL MISS YOU.

MISS YOU GUYS, TOO.
I WAS HAVING A LOT OF FUN.

THANKS, GUYS.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
OKAY, SEE YOU, BUDDY.

LOVE YOU!

IT BREAKS MY HEART, MAN,
EVERYTHING THAT'S GOING ON.

POOR KID.

HE'S ON THE BENCH
FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON.

WE DIDN'T NEED
TO HAVE THIS HAPPEN.

YEAH.

HE'S FAMILY, YOU KNOW?

ALL RIGHT.
LET'S CUT HER LOOSE.

Johnathan: OKAY, GUYS.

JUST EVERYONE BE COOL.
LET'S GET THROUGH THIS.

STAY AWAY FROM BLACK CLOUDS.

THINK WE'RE ALL BROKEN IN.

KNOW OUR PLACES BY NOW,
HOPEFULLY.

KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING.

AMAZING HOW HOLIDAYS
JUST SLIP AWAY

WHEN YOU DO THIS FOR A LIVING.

NO REST FOR THE WEARY
FROM HERE ON IN.

Jake: HAVEN'T TOLD SIG
ABOUT THE SAGA YET.

AND I DON'T WANT TO.
I DON'T WANT TO UPSET HIM.

NEVER A DULL MOMENT
AROUND HERE, MAN.

CHRISTMAS IS OVER.