Dead End: Paranormal Park (2022–…): Season 2, Episode 8 - Episode #2.8 - full transcript
-Whoa…
Ah!
-Ah! No!
-Huh?
Ah!
Ouch!
-Hey!
Okay, everyone, with Norma gone,
I'm putting me in charge.
Thank you, Barney.
Is Norma really gone?
Ha! We're so doomed.
We're not doomed.
Barney's going to be a great leader.
But we're not doing anything,
like, hard, right?
Like no demon stuff or anything, right?
Right?
We don't need Norma.
Firstly, all the wrestling experience
I've been getting
makes me the ideal candidate
to be in charge.
I mean, I've defeated loads of monsters
the week on my own.
When?
And secondly, I…
You know, I, uh, well, uh,
it was that one… No, that was a…
Look, never mind.
We're a team. The dream team.
Badyah, with your studious knowledge.
Logs, with your safety expertise
and cuteness.
Courtney, with your whole,
you know, your whole thing.
-Ugh!
-And, Pugsley, with your magic.
And what about you?
Me? Well, I think you'll find
I can take care of my--
-Barney!
We need the park first aid.
-I'm the park first aid!
-Oh.
Barney.
Pshh. He's fine. Always a kidder.
Right, roomie?
Barney.
-Aww. There, there.
-Thanks, Barney.
-Barney?
-Barney!
-Barney?
-Barney! I missed you.
Whoa. Oof.
Hmm. I really missed you.
Whoo!
I admit I was worried for a second,
but it's cool.
Barney's just a ghost.
How is that cool?
Don't worry. If I'm here,
there must still be a chance to fix this.
How are you not freaking out?
I guess dying isn't as shocking
the second time.
Second time?
Oh, I'm supposed to keep
everyone in the park safe,
but I couldn't even
protect my boyfriend.
Hey, hey, i-it's okay, Logs.
It's not okay, Barney.
You're dead.
I've got it!
Norma's book says here
we need a séance kit.
Logs, I need you to go to Norma's
and get it from her.
Badyah, she quit.
Whatever her reason,
I want to give her space
and not bother her
unless it's an emergency.
-Barney!
Okay, fine. But why can't you go?
I, uh… I'm the reason she quit.
Plus, I think
Logs should get some fresh air.
He's not doing so hot.
Fine.
I'll… go.
So, the séance kit
will get me back in my body, right?
Mm. No idea. It just seemed like
it would make Logs feel better
to have something to do.
Look, don't panic.
We've covered ghosts on the podcast and…
Hey, we should have you on as a guest!
Sorry, I mean, ghosts are the results
of unexpected deaths.
Your soul is literally
unable to process your mortality.
Yay. I knew my compartmentalizing
would pay off.
We have to avoid
you spiraling into bad thoughts
or you lose all attachment to your body.
Look, that's not gonna happen, okay?
No bad thought here. Everything's cool.
I'm not "dead" dead.
I'm still Barney, the living human.
Oh.
Oh, no, he's already getting worse.
Am I? I'm just doing a little float.
Nothing to worry about.
Tell me what to do and I'll do it.
I don't care what it is.
Just let me save him.
Guys, don't worry about it.
It must be a seasonal thing.
Look! A resurrection spell!
Always a killer at parties,
especially funerals.
Give me that.
Like catching a cold or something.
Do it, Pugsley.
Here we go.
Reverso…
…romero!
Huh? It didn't work.
It didn't work?
Guess I'll have
to stay as a ghost forever.
If you need me, I'll be haunting my room.
I don't need a resurrection spell.
I'm not dead. See?
Ah!
I don't understand what I'm going through.
-I think we might, sport.
Barney. I'm sorry,
I didn't master the art of necromancy.
Oh, where did he go?
Huh. Good question.
Huh?
Huh?
Wait a minute.
If his body isn't here,
that could mean that…
Brains.
-See, you did it, Pugsley.
Good as new.
That's not Barney. Barney hates brains.
Brains.
Sorry, but you scared me.
We're ghosts.
Of course we scared you.
Henrietta, please lighten up.
Oh, you!
Anyway, hello, I'm Jules.
My pronouns are they, them, and the late.
A little, uh,
ghost joke for you there.
I'm not in the mood.
Hi, "Not in the Mood." I'm Chester.
Hope we didn't startle you, sport.
I didn't know there were
other ghosts in Dead End.
I mean, I've been living here, and…
You haven't been watching me
this whole time, have you?
My compatriots and I mostly haunt
the Hall of Ex-Husbands.
You may recognize me
as one of Pauline's divorced spouses.
Famous tiger dentist turned
celebrity stay-at-home husband,
Chester Phoenix?
One and only true love of Pauline's life?
Mm.
Anyway, the point is we came over
to guide you
through your grieving process.
Grieving process?
Yes, the famous five stages of grief.
Denial, anger, bargaining,
depression and acceptance.
Looks like you're still in denial.
That's because I'm not really dead.
My ghost will be back in my body
in no time with the help of my friends.
What friends?
You're all alone here, sport.
That's just 'cause I stormed off.
I'm sure they're upstairs
doing everything they can to help me.
Hi-yah!
Brains.
What is going on? What do you call this?
Barney! See, you guys?
I told you this wasn't him.
Brains.
I don't see a difference.
How do we know
that's not a random ghost pranking us?
What? You think that bag of bones is me?
Argh! First you show no faith in me
the moment I even suggest being in charge.
I mean, no one ever questioned Norma.
But no, Barney can't possibly
be in charge, right?
Ooh! He's poltergeisting.
Ooh, long word.
Come on, Logs, pick up.
-Come on.
Logs!
He hung up on me?
He did what? What?
-Stage two.
-Anger.
Phew.
Barney?
Guys, I'm sorry.
It was an accident, I… Guys?
Guys, come on. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to…
Hmm.
Rude.
Hello? Courtney? Pugsley?
Wait. Huh?
Guys?
Aww, poor guy.
Looks like they've already moved on.
They don't even want
to see or hear you anymore.
You've just entered
the next stage of ghostdom.
You're one of us now.
Congrats.
No. No, no, I just need to talk to them.
All right, guys, Logs should be back
with the séance kit any minute.
We must find Barney
before he starts spiraling further.
Maybe we should split up?
-Makes sense.
-Nothing bad could happen there.
Okay. I'll check the library.
Pugsley, you check the tower.
Courtney, you check the kitchen.
-And Zombie Barney, you…
Guys, come back.
This is like every ghost movie ever.
Never split up.
Please, I'm begging you guys.
I'll do anything
if you can help me talk to them.
There are other ways
to communicate with them, but they're…
Nah, never mind. It's too ghostly for you.
I'm ghostly. Promise.
Some paranormal investigators
claim that ghost voices
can be picked up through audio recordings.
-Huh?
-Badyah?
-Uh…
-Badyah.
Great day to forget
to charge your headphones, Badyah.
Badyah? Badyah?
It's not working. She can't hear me.
Let me try.
-Ahoy hoy!
-Huh?
-I want to talk next!
-Tell her I said hi!
Your friend says hi!
-Guys, not all at once!
-Badyah! Nice name!
-Hello!
-Badyah, can you hear me?
Sorry about the others.
-Thanks a lot.
-Don't mention it.
Huh.
Huh?
Barney, is that you?
You've turned
into a piece of charred wood?
You turned Pugsley
into a piece of charred wood?
Barney.
There's no way I'm reading all of that.
Hey, quit it!
This isn't working. Nothing's working.
Why am I even bothering?
Maybe I should just give up.
Depression.
-Nice.
-My favorite.
Barney?
Okay, never coming in this room again.
Poochy?
Is that you?
What are you doing here?
Fingers! You're still here?
Sorry about disobeying you and all that,
but Barney sort of died,
and you said it's a dog's duty
to protect their owner,
but now he's a poultry geest
and I don't know what to do.
Uh, calm yourself, little pup.
All you have to do
is perform the spell of life.
-We tried that and it, um…
Brains.
Not those silly demon party tricks.
It's a spell so powerful
you're going to need
all of your friends' energy to perform it.
Consider this your final lesson,
but if I teach you this,
you must do something for me in return.
I'll do anything to save my Barney.
Promise?
Any luck finding Barney's ghost?
Oh.
I still can't see him!
I can. I can feel him.
I can smell him.
He used to get like this sometimes
on his darkest nights.
Oh, the things
he would say about himself.
If we don't do something, he'll… He'll…
What's the point?
Maybe they'd all prefer it if I was gone.
It's all right, chap.
We can help.
Why isn't Logs back yet?
Maybe if Barney could just hear his voice.
Look out!
I don't deserve any of them.
They're right to leave.
I don't blame them.
That's right. Let it all out.
-I never save the day.
-Go on. You'll feel better, champ.
-I never stop any of the monsters.
-Accept your fate.
You know you want to.
No!
I don't want to accept this.
I want to go home.
Like, home, home.
Back before all this demon stuff,
back before I kept dying,
and being shot at,
and turned into statues
and sleepless zombies, and… And…
I just want to rest.
And you will. Join us. Embrace us.
Become the late Barney Guttman.
Catchy, no?
Then all this pain will be gone?
I can't go back. Not from this.
I accept.
I did it. Logs to the rescue.
Logs!
Oh, Barney, you're back.
I'm so glad it all turned out--
Logs! That isn't Barney.
-Yuck.
Whoo-hoo!
-Open the séance kit!
-Right.
Tell you what, slugger,
we'll all go with you,
to make it, uh, less scary.
You'd do that for me?
Of course. What are friends for?
Okay, Fingers. This better work.
Look at that. I'm proud of you, kiddo.
You're ready to move on.
-Nice one.
-Way to go.
-Barney.
-What was that?
I didn't hear anything.
Just the wind.
-Barney, are you there?
-It's Logs. Logs is back.
He can't see me like this.
-I don't deserve…
-Barney.
-Barney, come back. We love you.
-Barney? We can see you.
Come back to us.
-Come on, Barney.
-I'm here.
We miss you.
Please come this way.
Dang it.
We love you, Barney. You got this.
-We love you, Barney.
-We got you, babe.
No, we have to get to the other side.
Let me go.
Why don't you go through your own portal?
We can't. We have way too much
unfinished business.
We've been trying for years
to get rid of it and open our own portals.
But you, it took you only one day
to let go of everything.
We need to go together.
Don't. You. Want. To. Help.
Your. Real. Friends?
You tricked me.
Convinced me to accept
leaving behind the life I love.
A family I made,
who's always been there for me.
Come on, Pugsley,
this has to work.
I don't accept this.
I want to live.
-So…
-What?
-Huh?
-Huh?
-Norma!
Uh, did I miss anything?
We need your help.
You came back.
I can't seem to stay away.
Barney! Never do that again.
All right, my turn.
I hate the living.
Chester? What are you doing here?
Pauline? Is that you, my love?
I knew you'd come back for me.
You're as beautiful as ever.
Smaller, mind you.
You noticed.
You were my unfinished business
and maybe I was yours?
Oh, Chester.
Look! My portal.
It's happening.
How do I look? Afterlife-y?
Shall we?
I would love to.
But…
Sorry, darling, you snore too much.
What? No, wait, what--
Dang it!
-Hey!
-What?
-Huh?
-Why don't you take a picture?
Oh, yeah, Pauline's trapped in a doll now.
I thought you were happy back at my house.
Please! That's no redemption story,
stuck in some weird girl's attic!
I smelled asbestos up there, you know.
-Huh?
Excellent job, Pugsley.
I wasn't sure you'd be strong enough
to perform that spell,
but you passed with flying colors,
and all it took was for me
to arrange this little chandelier stunt.
What are you saying?
You dropped the chandelier?
You killed Barney?
Well…
I foresaw it
and I thought
it would make for a nice test.
And I couldn't be prouder.
Now, for your end of the deal.
What? Pugsley, what's he talking about?
-Come along, boy.
Pugsley?
It's time for your graduation.
They're all so excited to meet you.
-Pugsley!
-Pugsley!
Pugsley, no!
Pugsley!
No!
Where is he taking him?
They're going upstairs.
To level 4.
Then so are we.
Ah!
-Ah! No!
-Huh?
Ah!
Ouch!
-Hey!
Okay, everyone, with Norma gone,
I'm putting me in charge.
Thank you, Barney.
Is Norma really gone?
Ha! We're so doomed.
We're not doomed.
Barney's going to be a great leader.
But we're not doing anything,
like, hard, right?
Like no demon stuff or anything, right?
Right?
We don't need Norma.
Firstly, all the wrestling experience
I've been getting
makes me the ideal candidate
to be in charge.
I mean, I've defeated loads of monsters
the week on my own.
When?
And secondly, I…
You know, I, uh, well, uh,
it was that one… No, that was a…
Look, never mind.
We're a team. The dream team.
Badyah, with your studious knowledge.
Logs, with your safety expertise
and cuteness.
Courtney, with your whole,
you know, your whole thing.
-Ugh!
-And, Pugsley, with your magic.
And what about you?
Me? Well, I think you'll find
I can take care of my--
-Barney!
We need the park first aid.
-I'm the park first aid!
-Oh.
Barney.
Pshh. He's fine. Always a kidder.
Right, roomie?
Barney.
-Aww. There, there.
-Thanks, Barney.
-Barney?
-Barney!
-Barney?
-Barney! I missed you.
Whoa. Oof.
Hmm. I really missed you.
Whoo!
I admit I was worried for a second,
but it's cool.
Barney's just a ghost.
How is that cool?
Don't worry. If I'm here,
there must still be a chance to fix this.
How are you not freaking out?
I guess dying isn't as shocking
the second time.
Second time?
Oh, I'm supposed to keep
everyone in the park safe,
but I couldn't even
protect my boyfriend.
Hey, hey, i-it's okay, Logs.
It's not okay, Barney.
You're dead.
I've got it!
Norma's book says here
we need a séance kit.
Logs, I need you to go to Norma's
and get it from her.
Badyah, she quit.
Whatever her reason,
I want to give her space
and not bother her
unless it's an emergency.
-Barney!
Okay, fine. But why can't you go?
I, uh… I'm the reason she quit.
Plus, I think
Logs should get some fresh air.
He's not doing so hot.
Fine.
I'll… go.
So, the séance kit
will get me back in my body, right?
Mm. No idea. It just seemed like
it would make Logs feel better
to have something to do.
Look, don't panic.
We've covered ghosts on the podcast and…
Hey, we should have you on as a guest!
Sorry, I mean, ghosts are the results
of unexpected deaths.
Your soul is literally
unable to process your mortality.
Yay. I knew my compartmentalizing
would pay off.
We have to avoid
you spiraling into bad thoughts
or you lose all attachment to your body.
Look, that's not gonna happen, okay?
No bad thought here. Everything's cool.
I'm not "dead" dead.
I'm still Barney, the living human.
Oh.
Oh, no, he's already getting worse.
Am I? I'm just doing a little float.
Nothing to worry about.
Tell me what to do and I'll do it.
I don't care what it is.
Just let me save him.
Guys, don't worry about it.
It must be a seasonal thing.
Look! A resurrection spell!
Always a killer at parties,
especially funerals.
Give me that.
Like catching a cold or something.
Do it, Pugsley.
Here we go.
Reverso…
…romero!
Huh? It didn't work.
It didn't work?
Guess I'll have
to stay as a ghost forever.
If you need me, I'll be haunting my room.
I don't need a resurrection spell.
I'm not dead. See?
Ah!
I don't understand what I'm going through.
-I think we might, sport.
Barney. I'm sorry,
I didn't master the art of necromancy.
Oh, where did he go?
Huh. Good question.
Huh?
Huh?
Wait a minute.
If his body isn't here,
that could mean that…
Brains.
-See, you did it, Pugsley.
Good as new.
That's not Barney. Barney hates brains.
Brains.
Sorry, but you scared me.
We're ghosts.
Of course we scared you.
Henrietta, please lighten up.
Oh, you!
Anyway, hello, I'm Jules.
My pronouns are they, them, and the late.
A little, uh,
ghost joke for you there.
I'm not in the mood.
Hi, "Not in the Mood." I'm Chester.
Hope we didn't startle you, sport.
I didn't know there were
other ghosts in Dead End.
I mean, I've been living here, and…
You haven't been watching me
this whole time, have you?
My compatriots and I mostly haunt
the Hall of Ex-Husbands.
You may recognize me
as one of Pauline's divorced spouses.
Famous tiger dentist turned
celebrity stay-at-home husband,
Chester Phoenix?
One and only true love of Pauline's life?
Mm.
Anyway, the point is we came over
to guide you
through your grieving process.
Grieving process?
Yes, the famous five stages of grief.
Denial, anger, bargaining,
depression and acceptance.
Looks like you're still in denial.
That's because I'm not really dead.
My ghost will be back in my body
in no time with the help of my friends.
What friends?
You're all alone here, sport.
That's just 'cause I stormed off.
I'm sure they're upstairs
doing everything they can to help me.
Hi-yah!
Brains.
What is going on? What do you call this?
Barney! See, you guys?
I told you this wasn't him.
Brains.
I don't see a difference.
How do we know
that's not a random ghost pranking us?
What? You think that bag of bones is me?
Argh! First you show no faith in me
the moment I even suggest being in charge.
I mean, no one ever questioned Norma.
But no, Barney can't possibly
be in charge, right?
Ooh! He's poltergeisting.
Ooh, long word.
Come on, Logs, pick up.
-Come on.
Logs!
He hung up on me?
He did what? What?
-Stage two.
-Anger.
Phew.
Barney?
Guys, I'm sorry.
It was an accident, I… Guys?
Guys, come on. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to…
Hmm.
Rude.
Hello? Courtney? Pugsley?
Wait. Huh?
Guys?
Aww, poor guy.
Looks like they've already moved on.
They don't even want
to see or hear you anymore.
You've just entered
the next stage of ghostdom.
You're one of us now.
Congrats.
No. No, no, I just need to talk to them.
All right, guys, Logs should be back
with the séance kit any minute.
We must find Barney
before he starts spiraling further.
Maybe we should split up?
-Makes sense.
-Nothing bad could happen there.
Okay. I'll check the library.
Pugsley, you check the tower.
Courtney, you check the kitchen.
-And Zombie Barney, you…
Guys, come back.
This is like every ghost movie ever.
Never split up.
Please, I'm begging you guys.
I'll do anything
if you can help me talk to them.
There are other ways
to communicate with them, but they're…
Nah, never mind. It's too ghostly for you.
I'm ghostly. Promise.
Some paranormal investigators
claim that ghost voices
can be picked up through audio recordings.
-Huh?
-Badyah?
-Uh…
-Badyah.
Great day to forget
to charge your headphones, Badyah.
Badyah? Badyah?
It's not working. She can't hear me.
Let me try.
-Ahoy hoy!
-Huh?
-I want to talk next!
-Tell her I said hi!
Your friend says hi!
-Guys, not all at once!
-Badyah! Nice name!
-Hello!
-Badyah, can you hear me?
Sorry about the others.
-Thanks a lot.
-Don't mention it.
Huh.
Huh?
Barney, is that you?
You've turned
into a piece of charred wood?
You turned Pugsley
into a piece of charred wood?
Barney.
There's no way I'm reading all of that.
Hey, quit it!
This isn't working. Nothing's working.
Why am I even bothering?
Maybe I should just give up.
Depression.
-Nice.
-My favorite.
Barney?
Okay, never coming in this room again.
Poochy?
Is that you?
What are you doing here?
Fingers! You're still here?
Sorry about disobeying you and all that,
but Barney sort of died,
and you said it's a dog's duty
to protect their owner,
but now he's a poultry geest
and I don't know what to do.
Uh, calm yourself, little pup.
All you have to do
is perform the spell of life.
-We tried that and it, um…
Brains.
Not those silly demon party tricks.
It's a spell so powerful
you're going to need
all of your friends' energy to perform it.
Consider this your final lesson,
but if I teach you this,
you must do something for me in return.
I'll do anything to save my Barney.
Promise?
Any luck finding Barney's ghost?
Oh.
I still can't see him!
I can. I can feel him.
I can smell him.
He used to get like this sometimes
on his darkest nights.
Oh, the things
he would say about himself.
If we don't do something, he'll… He'll…
What's the point?
Maybe they'd all prefer it if I was gone.
It's all right, chap.
We can help.
Why isn't Logs back yet?
Maybe if Barney could just hear his voice.
Look out!
I don't deserve any of them.
They're right to leave.
I don't blame them.
That's right. Let it all out.
-I never save the day.
-Go on. You'll feel better, champ.
-I never stop any of the monsters.
-Accept your fate.
You know you want to.
No!
I don't want to accept this.
I want to go home.
Like, home, home.
Back before all this demon stuff,
back before I kept dying,
and being shot at,
and turned into statues
and sleepless zombies, and… And…
I just want to rest.
And you will. Join us. Embrace us.
Become the late Barney Guttman.
Catchy, no?
Then all this pain will be gone?
I can't go back. Not from this.
I accept.
I did it. Logs to the rescue.
Logs!
Oh, Barney, you're back.
I'm so glad it all turned out--
Logs! That isn't Barney.
-Yuck.
Whoo-hoo!
-Open the séance kit!
-Right.
Tell you what, slugger,
we'll all go with you,
to make it, uh, less scary.
You'd do that for me?
Of course. What are friends for?
Okay, Fingers. This better work.
Look at that. I'm proud of you, kiddo.
You're ready to move on.
-Nice one.
-Way to go.
-Barney.
-What was that?
I didn't hear anything.
Just the wind.
-Barney, are you there?
-It's Logs. Logs is back.
He can't see me like this.
-I don't deserve…
-Barney.
-Barney, come back. We love you.
-Barney? We can see you.
Come back to us.
-Come on, Barney.
-I'm here.
We miss you.
Please come this way.
Dang it.
We love you, Barney. You got this.
-We love you, Barney.
-We got you, babe.
No, we have to get to the other side.
Let me go.
Why don't you go through your own portal?
We can't. We have way too much
unfinished business.
We've been trying for years
to get rid of it and open our own portals.
But you, it took you only one day
to let go of everything.
We need to go together.
Don't. You. Want. To. Help.
Your. Real. Friends?
You tricked me.
Convinced me to accept
leaving behind the life I love.
A family I made,
who's always been there for me.
Come on, Pugsley,
this has to work.
I don't accept this.
I want to live.
-So…
-What?
-Huh?
-Huh?
-Norma!
Uh, did I miss anything?
We need your help.
You came back.
I can't seem to stay away.
Barney! Never do that again.
All right, my turn.
I hate the living.
Chester? What are you doing here?
Pauline? Is that you, my love?
I knew you'd come back for me.
You're as beautiful as ever.
Smaller, mind you.
You noticed.
You were my unfinished business
and maybe I was yours?
Oh, Chester.
Look! My portal.
It's happening.
How do I look? Afterlife-y?
Shall we?
I would love to.
But…
Sorry, darling, you snore too much.
What? No, wait, what--
Dang it!
-Hey!
-What?
-Huh?
-Why don't you take a picture?
Oh, yeah, Pauline's trapped in a doll now.
I thought you were happy back at my house.
Please! That's no redemption story,
stuck in some weird girl's attic!
I smelled asbestos up there, you know.
-Huh?
Excellent job, Pugsley.
I wasn't sure you'd be strong enough
to perform that spell,
but you passed with flying colors,
and all it took was for me
to arrange this little chandelier stunt.
What are you saying?
You dropped the chandelier?
You killed Barney?
Well…
I foresaw it
and I thought
it would make for a nice test.
And I couldn't be prouder.
Now, for your end of the deal.
What? Pugsley, what's he talking about?
-Come along, boy.
Pugsley?
It's time for your graduation.
They're all so excited to meet you.
-Pugsley!
-Pugsley!
Pugsley, no!
Pugsley!
No!
Where is he taking him?
They're going upstairs.
To level 4.
Then so are we.