De Viaje Con Los Derbez (2019–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - La promesa - full transcript
Well, we're back.
Did you miss us?
For me, family's
the most important thing in life.
-Bear hug.
-Hug.
We traveled to Morocco...
Eugenio's holding it.
Let's go, Aita.
And the most beautiful states
in the United States.
I couldn't imagine having
these incredible adventures
with anyone other than this crazy group.
-Bravo, Vadhir.
-Come on. Get it. Get it, Dad.
Aislinn, the firstborn.
She's my greatest teacher.
When I was little,
you'd play the piano like this.
Vadhir.
He's like a mirror image of me.
Now, if he'd just listen to me more.
José Eduardo.
Bastard!
With a heart as big as his glass of wine.
Aitana,
my princess.
And my last chance...
Fly!
...to prove that I can be the dad
I've always wanted to be.
My God!
And Alessandra.
The queen.
I love you.
She's always by my side.
Nothing, damn it!
Well, almost always.
I couldn't be any prouder
of each and every one of them
and what they've become.
Successful.
Really busy.
Well, I hope they're not too busy
to see their dad
because it's time to go
Traveling with the Derbezes.
Scorpions!
This time, I'm looking for a place
where we can relax.
That's it!
Happy birthday!
-Sure.
-Thanks.
Where we can all agree
to do activities as a family.
You're kidding!
The first step is a family meeting.
TRAVELING WITH THE DERBEZES
Dad wants all of us
to get together and talk.
He's in London, so he can't come.
So, the meeting's at my house.
I didn't want to do this without you.
Do we have to decide today?
Yes, that's why I called the meeting.
We must choose a date for our vacation.
It's the only day
everyone's in Los Angeles.
Where's Eugenio? He should be here.
He got held up filming in London.
Can't we wait for you?
No, honey. I barely got them
to agree to meet today.
Anything can happen in this family.
Anything can happen.
What's up, bro?
What's up, brother?
How are you? How's everything?
Good, I just landed.
I'm going to Ais's house. You?
Yeah, I'm... I don't know, dude...
I'm 10, 15 minutes away. See you there.
Me too. I'll be there
around the same time.
Okay, see you there. I'll be there first.
Our family dynamic's really strange.
Whenever we meet up, something happens.
So, there's always this rush...
to see what'll happen.
My dad always wants us
to get together for a vacation.
The thing is, we all have to agree.
Come in. It's open!
As usual, I'm the first one here.
Vadhir's usually the last one.
Ais always has
strange things to eat, so...
I made this.
It's too healthy for me.
Are we using Zoom to talk to him?
-I'll call.
-Like with COVID.
I feel like he's the leader
in a superhero movie.
-The leader...
-Everyone says: "Yes, sir."
"Ready for the mission, sir."
He'll be in black and bald.
Bald? In an armchair.
"Good morning. Okay, family..."
"When are you free?"
"Where shall we go?"
Las Vegas?
Maybe Cuernavaca?
Some pool time!
Coatepec.
I just hope there aren't too many bugs,
animals, or hot weather.
That'd make me uncomfortable.
Who'll help me with this?
So we can talk to Dad.
I told Dad we'd talk via Zoom.
Bring the olives.
Dad is so controlling,
always managing things.
He wants everything to be his way,
when he wants it.
So it's hard to get along with him
because he's always pestering us.
Promise you'll help me
so Dad won't try to take over the trip
and that we'll all be a team.
-Sibling promise...
-Yeah, a team...
-With Stepmom!
-Stepmom!
-Siblings with Stepmom.
-Stepmom.
-Promise. One, two, three, Scorpions!
-Scorpions!
LOS ANGELES - LONDON
Do you see me? Do you hear me?
I think...
-There he is.
-Hello!
-Hi.
-Hello, great to see you.
Hi, honey.
For me, Traveling with the Derbezes
means family time, being together,
seeing each other. Being together
as a family is my priority.
What are your windows?
Tell me so we can coordinate.
I definitely can't do August or September.
-Yeah.
-Me neither. I'm busy in September.
July? I have some free time.
I have a trip.
I really like traveling alone.
Can't you change the dates?
I can't change it
because then I start working.
So, August is impossible.
July's my only window,
but I want it for myself, Dad.
Honestly, these last few months
have been so hard and stressful.
I have too much work.
I need some time alone.
I've been begging for it for a long time.
Why don't we travel around Christmastime?
-Thanksgiving? November?
-No, no, no.
-December?
-I have several concerts.
November's complicated for me.
We'll meet when we can.
These hard workers making dough!
Is July good for everyone?
Is everyone free?
July's perfect for us.
You're free. We talked about it.
July's good for me
because I'm almost done.
It's an option.
Where are you going?
It's the only free time I have all year.
-Where?
-Where?
-He asked where.
-Jamaica.
Jamaica?
-Jamaica?
-Yeah. I've never been there.
-What's in Jamaica? Okay.
-Nothing. Water.
Water.
I'll go wherever they want.
I've never been to Jamaica.
It might be a good time to go.
Listen...
I don't know if it's cool,
but I want to go.
I love studying other cultures
with different ideologies.
They have a very famous ideology there
with the Rastafari community.
I don't know what it's about,
so I need that time in Jamaica for myself.
I don't know.
What if we all go together to Jamaica?
I can see it.
I see myself on a beach.
Do you want us to go with you?
Do you want us to travel there?
Jamaica.
Look, she didn't invite us.
It's her solo trip
and we'd be crashing it.
I mean, obviously... Look.
Jamaica's really big.
It's not that I don't want you to go.
It's that we're always together,
joined at the hip.
That's why sometimes I say...
Are you okay with us crashing your trip?
Let's go to Jamaica!
There are things to do in Jamaica, right?
You won't like it, Dad.
There aren't any activities.
It's very chill. There's nothing to do.
Yeah, I saw.
Fiona is...
I think it's your MUA.
She left. She gave up.
She had to leave!
Listen, does the island have
restrictions for Fiona?
-Probably.
-Sure.
'Cause I take Nala everywhere. Impossible.
If we can't take Fiona,
does that mean we won't go?
I have a condition.
If you're really coming
to Jamaica with me...
No... It's not for sure yet.
I think it is.
I can't change my dad,
so I have to set boundaries
so that he doesn't trample over
what I want to do
and what I don't want to do. That's it.
I want you to swear you won't do anything,
you won't be annoying,
and you won't control the whole trip.
So, you decide. Fiona can't go.
Will you go without Fiona?
If I have to leave Fiona or be with you...
-My God!
-He's hesitating.
He's crazy!
Jamaica!
-Yeah!
-Yeah, Scorpions!
Scorpions!
-My God.
-Thanks.
THREE MONTHS LATER
We're here.
We're here!
Great!
-Crap.
-Damn it.
That's a good start.
-Know what I want?
-What?
Some hibiscus tea.
Then go get some tea.
Hibiscus tea.
I can't believe you don't want any.
I feel a lot calmer, much more relaxed.
I'm really excited. I'm here to go all in.
Anyone been to Jamaica before?
-No. It's my first time.
-No.
I came once as part of a cruise.
You've been here before?
No, I mean...
-I know who came with him.
-Who?
No.
It's like when they were kids.
All together in a car,
on an adventure, joking around.
That's the Derbez family.
We're on vacation.
So I was happy, happy to be in Jamaica.
-We made it!
-We're here, cutie. See how fast it was?
-We're here.
-It's cool.
Careful!
Cool!
Holy cow!
We even have a view of the sea.
It's incredible.
Did you see how cool it is?
Incredible.
-Hey, be thankful.
-The sea's right there.
I'm like, "Yeah!"
Did I book it? Who booked it?
-Wasn't it Ais?
-I chose it.
Dad said he wouldn't interfere,
that he'd give us the space we need.
Will that happen?
You like this one?
-Yeah.
-Okay.
It's beautiful, honey.
-Let's go upstairs.
-There.
I think Vadhir chose this one
because his backpack's inside.
Vadhir chose this one?
I can't find my way around here.
Vadhir, are you staying here?
Aitana says she wants that room.
-Here's the thing.
-Let's see...
I smoke. You don't.
I need a terrace to smoke.
-You have a giant garden.
-Smoke in the garden.
-Yeah, no.
-Is it too much hassle?
I'm not always with my family. Thank God.
If I were, I'd go crazy.
Why don't we go to the living room
and decide who gets each room?
The rooms...
are always a problem.
-First, I think...
-A few drinks.
...we have to decide
based on life experience.
-No, look...
-Life experience?
The one with the most...
-No. I experienced a lot.
-No.
Let me clarify.
-I don't want any arguments.
-Let's see.
You told me not to give my opinion,
not to be controlling...
Amen.
I don't want to have to decide,
otherwise we'll come into conflict.
You said I can't decide, so I won't.
I think
that we could decide
about the rooms
based on two things. One, poker.
Or two, cornhole.
We could have a cornhole match.
We could also see who's
the strongest and the toughest.
We could stand against the wall
and see who lasts the longest.
-Like this.
-That's good, right?
And you're the fittest one.
-Listen.
-Well, you are too.
-He got you.
-Don't brush me off.
It's barely been three minutes
since we got to our villa in Jamaica
and we're competing.
I just need some tequila first.
-That'll help.
-You want it now?
It won't help you last longer.
You wanna bet?
You wanna bet?
We're competing over everything.
Winning a room
and seeing who gets the best room...
What century are we in?
Here's how it will go.
-Up against the wall...
-Wait. Cheers.
-Guys, cheers.
-Cheers.
-There.
-There's your strength.
That won't help.
Competing to see who gets the best room...
I like it. Let's give it our all.
Okay, explain how it'll flow.
Aunt Flo comes once a month.
You get cramps. You're in a bad mood.
Don't be silly.
It's because of you, Ale.
The rules of the game...
-I'll explain.
-Go for it.
Stand against the wall. Okay?
Place yourself...
-exactly at a 90-degree angle.
-90 degrees.
Against the wall. This doesn't count.
It was done discreetly.
I think it was to not offend me.
It was like: "Let's play a game
to see who gets the best room.
"Just for fun." For fun?
It was to take away
my right as the oldest,
as the family's most powerful one,
the patriarch,
to keep the best room.
That's fine. Let's flow.
No, 90 degrees, everyone.
-90.
-Two!
-Ready? One...
-Two, three!
-Two, three!
-Go down.
My back's slipping.
He's getting up. Don't.
I'm not!
My back's sweaty and I'm slipping.
That's not 90 degrees.
-Too much space.
-You're not there.
-Neither is Dad.
-Yes I am. Look.
No, look. Close... Move back.
Damn it.
There. Now dance.
"Let's see who can hold it the longest
"up against the wall
to see who gets the best room."
What's next? Push-ups to see
who gets the most food?
It's a vacation, not Big Brother.
How can you hold it?
I felt like I was really fit.
And then I'm confronted
with this very competitive family.
Despite being lazy
and not exercising in months,
they're really focused
when it's a challenge.
Hands up. If you put them down, you lose.
Do you need a bench?
Done!
We lost Eduardo.
Eduardo lost.
He's the last one to choose a room.
Having to exercise
to get a room really sucks.
Bye. You two lost.
Dude, I saw this on TV
and it didn't look hard.
Look at me. I'm sweating.
I'm against the wall,
giving it my all, sweating buckets...
And it's very interesting
because I thought they wouldn't last.
I mean, I think
I'm the fittest one in this bunch.
It's just that Aislinn
and Ale have been working out a lot,
doing a lot of M-fitness.
So it's getting interesting.
Dad, I said I wanted to play cornhole.
But I said that cornhole... Look at him.
Good, honey, good.
-Damn it.
-Good.
-I can't.
-Just fall for God's sake.
-She's crippled.
-Aislinn, come on.
Aislinn, come on!
He lost! He lost!
-Dad, enough.
-Aislinn, come on!
He lost.
Kick Dad's feet, please.
Enough!
-There!
-No!
Yeah! M-fitness won!
-Well done, honey.
-The M-fitness method works.
I felt great when I won.
I know I won't beat Eugenio
in an argument,
but when it's a challenge...
I'll win.
I can't stand.
Now cornhole.
That's karma. And karma's a bitch.
-Get up. Come on.
-Breathe.
-Come on. Get up.
-You can do it.
-You can do it.
-I swear, I can't.
It hurts.
No, Dad, I can't.
-I don't know...
-The one Aitana likes.
-Which one?
-There, on the left.
Is it the nicest one?
-Aitana likes it.
-Wait.
-He's switching teams.
-No, I am.
-It has the terrace.
-Let me see.
Let's look and then decide.
-Go with Dad.
-Let's go.
We won! "Wham, wham, wham!"
And they all went down, one by one.
Why this one?
Because I like it.
Look!
But we won't be outside.
Mom doesn't like keeping the doors open.
I'm not sure.
Daddy.
My bed here in Jamaica is wonderful.
How's the bed?
How's the bed?
Alessandra didn't try out the bed.
She said: "Aitana wants this room."
How is it?
-How is it?
-Man!
I don't know. We'll see at night.
It's very hard.
We hurt our legs
to win the best room.
And Alessandra chose the hardest bed,
not just in the house, but in history.
You have to be kidding. What a difference!
It's okay, right?
Well, how long are we staying here?
-A week.
-Wow. Incredible.
-I love these sunsets, dude.
-Yeah.
I'm really glad to see you again
and spend time with you.
I didn't choose it,
but I'm glad you're here.
I love you, stupid.
And seeing you... Getting together...
Okay, enough hugs. Damn it.
-All these hugs, this love.
-The snoops.
I love being with my family
and being on this trip together.
I think it's good for us.
But I always worry...
that I'll get these flashbacks
of all the bad things, that we'll argue,
or that Dad will start saying things
that are hurtful or passive aggressive.
So, I hope that doesn't happen.
Hey, I'm really happy
we're on our third meaningful trip. Right?
-It's cool.
-A good start.
A very good start.
-A good start.
-A start.
-A good start.
-A great start.
It's our third chance.
Let's hope we get off scot-free
and there aren't any family divisions.
-Next up on Big Brother...
-Welcome to Jamaica!
-That's right!
-Great!
Your bed's as hard as a brick.
Good thing you reminded me.
Reminded you? I'm sure you didn't forget.
Did you tell Ais? And the others?
No, I'll get them and tell them.
I want to see it.
You're joking.
-What's wrong?
-Come.
-Why?
-I want you to try out my bed.
-Remember what I said?
-Dad. Really?
Yeah. If Ale were here...
Well, the bed's a touchy subject
and she'd get mad.
She'd scold you.
She'd get mad...
"You got the kids to back you up?"
No...
Fuck, you sleep like this?
I told you. You didn't believe me.
Isn't the bed really hard?
-No.
-You bounce off it.
No.
-Wow...
-Wow...
-Do you agree?
-What the...
It's so... It's like a rock.
Isn't it hard? It doesn't contour
to any part of your body.
Yeah, no.
The bed's really hard. It's really hard.
It's an act of love. I'm a hero.
-All right.
-I'm a hero.
-You're right, Dad.
-Wait.
I couldn't sleep. I feel horrible.
Why couldn't you sleep?
How can you ask that?
-Why?
-It's like a rock.
This bed's like a rock.
It's like sleeping on the floor.
Plus, you made me turn off the AC.
I was sweating all night.
I was soaking wet.
How could I sleep
on the floor, soaking wet?
You know I can't sleep with the AC on
because I get sick.
I'd get a sore throat
or the flu or pneumonia. I can't do it.
-So?
-It wasn't very hot last night.
Two things. One, Aitana liked this room.
Aitana saw it and said:
"Mom, this room's incredible."
No, Aitana chose it. Ask the others.
Because Vadhir took hers.
So, since she loves Vadhir
with all her heart,
she said: "Vadhir wants it,
"so we have to give it to him."
It turns out Aislinn took
the room Vadhir wanted.
So Aitana's sacrifice was in vain.
And Ale's sacrifice
for Aitana was in vain.
And I got screwed over.
It doesn't matter
why Aitana chose this room.
She chose it. She was excited and said:
"Mom, look. Look at the patio.
Look how big it is."
I think she also likes the pink here
and that pink thing here.
-She liked it.
-And the gray headboard.
-She liked it.
-And the white walls.
"Flowing" means respecting the fact
that I chose this room,
that I won, and so...
I'm out. I'm sick of this conversation.
Have it your way.
Are you out of arguments?
No, I have arguments, but...
The thing is that I don't have a say.
I can't have an opinion.
I'll flow. Look.
I'm leaving before things get worse.
Bye.
-What's up, bud?
-How's it going?
Where's everyone?
Outside, I think.
You're not going out?
Yeah, but I'm making something.
It's something that'll kill you.
What are you making?
What do you want? Pineapple or orange?
Pineapple, I guess.
Okay, pineapple.
Strong or weak?
-What's strong?
-You know mimosas?
-No.
-This is different.
No, man, no.
Everyone drinks more on vacation.
And there's the saying:
"Hold your liquor."
It's syrup.
I never drink liquor.
-Why not?
-I don't like it.
It's stupid. When I was little...
-Really.
-You stopped?
I never drank. But when I was ten,
I was at a cousin's wedding,
and a waiter had a tray
with shots just like these.
It was something else,
but I remember it was darker.
I'll make some.
So, I thought it'd be funny to take one
and say "What's this?"
I took one and everyone said:
"Eugenito's going to get drunk."
I felt like the center of attention,
so I took a sip.
And everyone laughed.
Exactly.
And I was like...
Then they went back to talking.
And I went to the kitchen
alone with my glass.
Notice how aware and smart I was
at just ten years old.
I went to the kitchen,
saw the glass in my hand, and said:
"What am I doing with my life?"
-Come on, don't be...
-I swear on my kids' lives.
"What am I doing?" I was ten.
Sorry, but I have to show you.
I'll show you.
"What am I doing with my life?"
-No!
-I poured it down the sink.
-And I promised...
-What a pain.
I promised to never try alcohol again.
And since that day,
I've never had a drink.
-Take that.
-Bastard. Enjoy.
It's called willpower.
He thinks I'm drunk all day.
No, I don't get drunk every day.
I have things to do. I work.
I do a lot of things.
I've never been drunk.
I've never had a hangover.
-I've never had...
-Here. You're distracting me.
...a hangover.
Is it that hard to drink
a banana smoothie?
It's good. Let's see?
For God's sake!
It needs another shot.
No, to hell with...
-Who's this garbage for?
-The family.
-I'll take it.
-Go. Hurry.
-Thanks for my smoothie.
-Just go.
My dad... I give up.
No bars. Bruno Mars.
As a dad, I have to make sure
my family's safe and sound.
I enjoy going on these vacations
and taking a break.
I accept that I'm my dad's daughter.
What are you doing?
Putting on sunscreen.
No, Dad, no.
I won't be here long.
I'll go in the shade.
I don't like sunscreen.
-I don't know your habits.
-I look after my skin.
-I noticed. You're tan.
-Yeah.
I can't get along with anyone.
I'm trying to make sure my daughter...
Just ask: "Do you want sunscreen?"
Don't just smear it on.
One day, she took these courses,
and now she has a platform.
And she takes the courses,
she studies, she reads...
And she scolds me?
Tan and tomorrow it'll sting.
You'll be shivering
and you'll remember me.
No, I can take care of myself.
Put on a hat.
I can look after myself.
What? Okay then, Mr. Ramón.
-You're gorgeous with the hat. Right?
-Shut up.
Family!
-There's salad.
-Family.
I made some sauce for my Clamato.
I want you to try it.
Try it and tell me if I can sell it.
I want to sell a Clamato sauce.
-Is it spicy?
-Just a little.
-It has chili.
-Like Clamato.
See what I put up with?
Are you sure? What about...
It's like chamoy, man.
-You didn't find it?
-Anything's possible.
But I searched the whole pool.
Was it, José Eduardo, Dad, or you?
-Who found it?
-Swear on your cats.
-You think I'd do that?
-Of course.
I'm an angel.
What's wrong?
What do you think? José Eduardo?
You son of a bitch.
What's wrong?
It's this stinking son of a bitch.
-What did he do?
-What's wrong?
-Wow!
-I'm selling it. Try it.
-Or I'll keep it.
-What did you do?
I gave him some of the sauce
I'm going to sell.
Vadhir, I think you're...
-Ice.
-Here. Take this.
José Eduardo, why'd you do that
to your brother?
Look, he's spitting it out.
-No.
-Yes. Yes!
-No!
-Yes.
Idiot! You overdid it!
We had to do it at some point.
A taste of your own medicine, bud.
Bastard!
Let's spice up this trip.
Let's see what will happen.
Who will make it back? Who won't?
This can't be a normal trip.
It needs some risks.
It's the spiciest sauce in the world.
There's some kind of pepper in it.
I'll show you, but it's torture.
You'll have to pay for what you just did.
He put lime juice in my eye.
-When did you do that?
-Season two.
Season two. On the couch.
-You were there.
-You're right.
No... It went in!
What did you do?
That prank...
He moved and it went into his eye
instead of his mouth.
Here, man.
Let me confess to a prank
I pulled on poor Vadhir.
We were at the house in La Marquesa.
Remember?
-Yeah.
-How old was Vadhir?
-How old?
-Like ten?
Anyway. Suddenly, Vadhir said:
"Dad, I have to poop."
And I said: "Right now?
Can't you hold it in?"
How dare you need to poop right now?
And we'd go...
He scolded us
when we puked, pooped, or peed.
So I said:
"Okay, let me get some tissues."
I went to the car to get some tissues
and I saw I had a camera in there.
So I told José Eduardo and Aislinn:
"Look, Vadhir has to poop.
When he goes, take pictures."
I didn't focus on raising them
and scolding them. Nothing.
I just wanted to have fun with them.
I'll tell you how it went.
He came up to me and said:
"Aislinn, you're the oldest.
"Be very careful with the camera
"because you only have one chance. Okay?"
And then he gave me a photography lesson.
-Really? No.
-Yeah. Diabolical.
He said: "You focus through here.
"When the piece comes..."
"The piece!"
"...you take the pic."
That's what he said.
-Growing up with a dad like this...
-Like what?
I mean, like one of us.
He also bullied us...
He was like an older brother.
It's a miracle nobody called CPS.
He said: "If Vadhir sees this,
I'll have to scold you.
"But don't worry, it's not for real."
That's how much manipulation there was.
And both of them in the back...
And they went...
I turned around and so did he.
"Dad, they're..." And I'm like:
"Kids! Don't do that! That's not nice."
What you have is
a 30-something-year-old bully
with little kids watching
and learning about life.
Then I developed the film.
And Eugenio still wonders why they're
in therapy. He even argues about it.
I remember we were
at a vacation house once,
and she had the picture
on the back of her door.
Her friends were there.
I was a bit older...
-I went to flirt...
-Hunk.
...with my sister's friends.
And they started laughing.
"The poop!" I didn't understand.
I opened the door and there I was.
-The picture...
-No way.
He doesn't realize the damage
he may have caused.
And it's not funny.
Hey, that's horrible.
-I know. But why did you listen to me?
-That's mean.
Well...
I've been in therapy ever since.
A lot of what I did in therapy worked.
When you go back to your family,
you go back to your old habits
and things you did with them.
This poor kid will need therapy
his whole life.
-What's up?
-Hello.
-Look what I brought you.
-Excuse me?
And what's this surprise?
-It's to pamper you.
-Since when?
It's so you're comfy, calm,
-relaxed...
-Okay.
-Happy. Don't...
-You want something.
-No.
-Are you okay?
Yes.
No? What's wrong?
Don't you think it's too quiet?
Isn't that great?
Yeah. I just mean, I promised
I wouldn't pressure anyone, but...
Cooped up in here all day?
-Honey, we just got here.
-We didn't just get here.
-It's been two days.
-Right. Two days.
God, we just got here.
When we're all together,
he feels like he has to be a dad.
And that makes him very nervous.
He feels responsible.
We took a plane to a new country
that we don't know.
And this is all we've seen. Look.
-With a pic...
-It's beautiful.
If I saw a picture, it could be
Tampico, Puerto Vallarta,
-or Veracruz.
-No, it's the Caribbean.
It only looks like this in the Caribbean.
Water is water.
Why don't you enjoy your time here
with your four children
and spend time with them?
I'm enjoying it.
No, I don't think you're enjoying it.
You're suffering. You're nervous.
Remember that you didn't
bring us to Jamaica.
This isn't our trip.
We, the whole family,
crashed Ais's trip. Okay?
The last time we were all together,
six months ago for Christmas, was a mess.
It reminded me of Morocco.
We almost killed each other.
So don't stir up any trouble.
You promised you'd step aside,
not be controlling, and go with the flow.
You want to work them up? You want...
No, I'm keeping my promise.
I feel like it's not my vacation.
I feel like a guest.
Why don't you just stay here with me?
Look. Take it all in.
There are people who sit back
and watch life happen.
And there are people who make life happen.
Food for thought.
Drink your wine. Go on. Drink it.
God! Damn it.
Hey, your aunt walks like...
She thinks she's
a Victoria's Secret model.
She just needs
Justin Bieber singing behind her.
Listen.
Look at that tan! My God!
I gotta show it off.
Even if it's just to you.
I feel like I'm in 365 Days.
-You don't say?
-She comes in...
Kidnap me.
I love not doing anything. It's great.
I don't think Dad can stand this. Right?
You think he's about to say something?
-Yeah.
-I think so.
-We can't let him.
-He looks suspicious.
-I need you to make me a promise.
-What?
Don't back down
if he starts up with his plans.
You know he pits us against each other...
That won't happen.
Ale and I really want to relax
and not do anything.
He's gonna back out.
I like doing things.
-But you... We're the majority.
-I'm lazy.
If Ale, you, and I are united...
-We're Team Lazy.
-We'll never lose.
We're Team Lazy.
I'd love this trip to be a chance
for us to communicate
like the adults we are.
Don't let us down.
But we'll do something, right?
-Yeah, at some point.
-One thing.
One!
Hide-and-seek.
-No.
-Maybe.
Some squats in the garden.
Okay, I like that. Sold.
You got me with that.
Don't back out. We've agreed.
Okay! Team?
Team?
There's Dad.
Are you spying on us or enjoying the view?
-No...
-Or both?
Or both?
At least take our photo.
I just came to...
You saw peace and happiness and said:
"I have to ruin it."
It's like...
It's like when the kids are quiet.
When they're noisy it's fine.
But when they're quiet...
Something's going on.
Don't you want to go see something?
-No, thanks.
-Not today.
Are you okay here?
Is that why you look like
César Costa from Single Father?
Do you want to go out or what?
I thought we'd go out.
Okay, have fun.
I know he's suffering.
He's like a caged lion.
He's like: "I have to get out."
That brought back memories.
No. My God.
Can he go out alone?
Don't jump!
Don't do it!
Life's beautiful! It's worth living!
He should do it.
It's not that I'm controlling.
It's that a group always has a leader.
When they take charge,
we end up in a pool,
sunbathing and talking.
Why not go somewhere?
Anything. Even the supermarket.
The corner.
But let's go out!
Anything. But... I'm going crazy!
I'm going to die.
If they don't act, I'll have to intervene.
Right away.
So I need an accomplice.
Who do you think?
The ideal accomplice goes with the flow.
-I love you.
-Right...
On this season
of Traveling with the Derbezes...
We can't stay cooped up.
We won't get to know the culture,
the country, the people.
I need your help.
I have a couple of good plans.
The main reason I came to Jamaica
was to go to the School of Vision.
Ta-da! Our water taxi.
What the...
Great surprise. But why didn't you tell us
so we could prepare?
I'll throw this in, too!
It should be like the Montessori method:
do whatever you want.
He's crazy!
Stop!
That's not funny, man. Stop.
I think being a parent is
one of the cruelest things in life.
You have to accept
that it lasts for so little time.
And you'll lose no matter what.
In the end, it's my ego.
I feel you don't need me.
And that hurts a lot.
Come on, Scorpions.
Do you want more humiliation?
We can do it because we're the Derbezes.
If this is happiness,
then let's do it! Right?
Did you miss us?
For me, family's
the most important thing in life.
-Bear hug.
-Hug.
We traveled to Morocco...
Eugenio's holding it.
Let's go, Aita.
And the most beautiful states
in the United States.
I couldn't imagine having
these incredible adventures
with anyone other than this crazy group.
-Bravo, Vadhir.
-Come on. Get it. Get it, Dad.
Aislinn, the firstborn.
She's my greatest teacher.
When I was little,
you'd play the piano like this.
Vadhir.
He's like a mirror image of me.
Now, if he'd just listen to me more.
José Eduardo.
Bastard!
With a heart as big as his glass of wine.
Aitana,
my princess.
And my last chance...
Fly!
...to prove that I can be the dad
I've always wanted to be.
My God!
And Alessandra.
The queen.
I love you.
She's always by my side.
Nothing, damn it!
Well, almost always.
I couldn't be any prouder
of each and every one of them
and what they've become.
Successful.
Really busy.
Well, I hope they're not too busy
to see their dad
because it's time to go
Traveling with the Derbezes.
Scorpions!
This time, I'm looking for a place
where we can relax.
That's it!
Happy birthday!
-Sure.
-Thanks.
Where we can all agree
to do activities as a family.
You're kidding!
The first step is a family meeting.
TRAVELING WITH THE DERBEZES
Dad wants all of us
to get together and talk.
He's in London, so he can't come.
So, the meeting's at my house.
I didn't want to do this without you.
Do we have to decide today?
Yes, that's why I called the meeting.
We must choose a date for our vacation.
It's the only day
everyone's in Los Angeles.
Where's Eugenio? He should be here.
He got held up filming in London.
Can't we wait for you?
No, honey. I barely got them
to agree to meet today.
Anything can happen in this family.
Anything can happen.
What's up, bro?
What's up, brother?
How are you? How's everything?
Good, I just landed.
I'm going to Ais's house. You?
Yeah, I'm... I don't know, dude...
I'm 10, 15 minutes away. See you there.
Me too. I'll be there
around the same time.
Okay, see you there. I'll be there first.
Our family dynamic's really strange.
Whenever we meet up, something happens.
So, there's always this rush...
to see what'll happen.
My dad always wants us
to get together for a vacation.
The thing is, we all have to agree.
Come in. It's open!
As usual, I'm the first one here.
Vadhir's usually the last one.
Ais always has
strange things to eat, so...
I made this.
It's too healthy for me.
Are we using Zoom to talk to him?
-I'll call.
-Like with COVID.
I feel like he's the leader
in a superhero movie.
-The leader...
-Everyone says: "Yes, sir."
"Ready for the mission, sir."
He'll be in black and bald.
Bald? In an armchair.
"Good morning. Okay, family..."
"When are you free?"
"Where shall we go?"
Las Vegas?
Maybe Cuernavaca?
Some pool time!
Coatepec.
I just hope there aren't too many bugs,
animals, or hot weather.
That'd make me uncomfortable.
Who'll help me with this?
So we can talk to Dad.
I told Dad we'd talk via Zoom.
Bring the olives.
Dad is so controlling,
always managing things.
He wants everything to be his way,
when he wants it.
So it's hard to get along with him
because he's always pestering us.
Promise you'll help me
so Dad won't try to take over the trip
and that we'll all be a team.
-Sibling promise...
-Yeah, a team...
-With Stepmom!
-Stepmom!
-Siblings with Stepmom.
-Stepmom.
-Promise. One, two, three, Scorpions!
-Scorpions!
LOS ANGELES - LONDON
Do you see me? Do you hear me?
I think...
-There he is.
-Hello!
-Hi.
-Hello, great to see you.
Hi, honey.
For me, Traveling with the Derbezes
means family time, being together,
seeing each other. Being together
as a family is my priority.
What are your windows?
Tell me so we can coordinate.
I definitely can't do August or September.
-Yeah.
-Me neither. I'm busy in September.
July? I have some free time.
I have a trip.
I really like traveling alone.
Can't you change the dates?
I can't change it
because then I start working.
So, August is impossible.
July's my only window,
but I want it for myself, Dad.
Honestly, these last few months
have been so hard and stressful.
I have too much work.
I need some time alone.
I've been begging for it for a long time.
Why don't we travel around Christmastime?
-Thanksgiving? November?
-No, no, no.
-December?
-I have several concerts.
November's complicated for me.
We'll meet when we can.
These hard workers making dough!
Is July good for everyone?
Is everyone free?
July's perfect for us.
You're free. We talked about it.
July's good for me
because I'm almost done.
It's an option.
Where are you going?
It's the only free time I have all year.
-Where?
-Where?
-He asked where.
-Jamaica.
Jamaica?
-Jamaica?
-Yeah. I've never been there.
-What's in Jamaica? Okay.
-Nothing. Water.
Water.
I'll go wherever they want.
I've never been to Jamaica.
It might be a good time to go.
Listen...
I don't know if it's cool,
but I want to go.
I love studying other cultures
with different ideologies.
They have a very famous ideology there
with the Rastafari community.
I don't know what it's about,
so I need that time in Jamaica for myself.
I don't know.
What if we all go together to Jamaica?
I can see it.
I see myself on a beach.
Do you want us to go with you?
Do you want us to travel there?
Jamaica.
Look, she didn't invite us.
It's her solo trip
and we'd be crashing it.
I mean, obviously... Look.
Jamaica's really big.
It's not that I don't want you to go.
It's that we're always together,
joined at the hip.
That's why sometimes I say...
Are you okay with us crashing your trip?
Let's go to Jamaica!
There are things to do in Jamaica, right?
You won't like it, Dad.
There aren't any activities.
It's very chill. There's nothing to do.
Yeah, I saw.
Fiona is...
I think it's your MUA.
She left. She gave up.
She had to leave!
Listen, does the island have
restrictions for Fiona?
-Probably.
-Sure.
'Cause I take Nala everywhere. Impossible.
If we can't take Fiona,
does that mean we won't go?
I have a condition.
If you're really coming
to Jamaica with me...
No... It's not for sure yet.
I think it is.
I can't change my dad,
so I have to set boundaries
so that he doesn't trample over
what I want to do
and what I don't want to do. That's it.
I want you to swear you won't do anything,
you won't be annoying,
and you won't control the whole trip.
So, you decide. Fiona can't go.
Will you go without Fiona?
If I have to leave Fiona or be with you...
-My God!
-He's hesitating.
He's crazy!
Jamaica!
-Yeah!
-Yeah, Scorpions!
Scorpions!
-My God.
-Thanks.
THREE MONTHS LATER
We're here.
We're here!
Great!
-Crap.
-Damn it.
That's a good start.
-Know what I want?
-What?
Some hibiscus tea.
Then go get some tea.
Hibiscus tea.
I can't believe you don't want any.
I feel a lot calmer, much more relaxed.
I'm really excited. I'm here to go all in.
Anyone been to Jamaica before?
-No. It's my first time.
-No.
I came once as part of a cruise.
You've been here before?
No, I mean...
-I know who came with him.
-Who?
No.
It's like when they were kids.
All together in a car,
on an adventure, joking around.
That's the Derbez family.
We're on vacation.
So I was happy, happy to be in Jamaica.
-We made it!
-We're here, cutie. See how fast it was?
-We're here.
-It's cool.
Careful!
Cool!
Holy cow!
We even have a view of the sea.
It's incredible.
Did you see how cool it is?
Incredible.
-Hey, be thankful.
-The sea's right there.
I'm like, "Yeah!"
Did I book it? Who booked it?
-Wasn't it Ais?
-I chose it.
Dad said he wouldn't interfere,
that he'd give us the space we need.
Will that happen?
You like this one?
-Yeah.
-Okay.
It's beautiful, honey.
-Let's go upstairs.
-There.
I think Vadhir chose this one
because his backpack's inside.
Vadhir chose this one?
I can't find my way around here.
Vadhir, are you staying here?
Aitana says she wants that room.
-Here's the thing.
-Let's see...
I smoke. You don't.
I need a terrace to smoke.
-You have a giant garden.
-Smoke in the garden.
-Yeah, no.
-Is it too much hassle?
I'm not always with my family. Thank God.
If I were, I'd go crazy.
Why don't we go to the living room
and decide who gets each room?
The rooms...
are always a problem.
-First, I think...
-A few drinks.
...we have to decide
based on life experience.
-No, look...
-Life experience?
The one with the most...
-No. I experienced a lot.
-No.
Let me clarify.
-I don't want any arguments.
-Let's see.
You told me not to give my opinion,
not to be controlling...
Amen.
I don't want to have to decide,
otherwise we'll come into conflict.
You said I can't decide, so I won't.
I think
that we could decide
about the rooms
based on two things. One, poker.
Or two, cornhole.
We could have a cornhole match.
We could also see who's
the strongest and the toughest.
We could stand against the wall
and see who lasts the longest.
-Like this.
-That's good, right?
And you're the fittest one.
-Listen.
-Well, you are too.
-He got you.
-Don't brush me off.
It's barely been three minutes
since we got to our villa in Jamaica
and we're competing.
I just need some tequila first.
-That'll help.
-You want it now?
It won't help you last longer.
You wanna bet?
You wanna bet?
We're competing over everything.
Winning a room
and seeing who gets the best room...
What century are we in?
Here's how it will go.
-Up against the wall...
-Wait. Cheers.
-Guys, cheers.
-Cheers.
-There.
-There's your strength.
That won't help.
Competing to see who gets the best room...
I like it. Let's give it our all.
Okay, explain how it'll flow.
Aunt Flo comes once a month.
You get cramps. You're in a bad mood.
Don't be silly.
It's because of you, Ale.
The rules of the game...
-I'll explain.
-Go for it.
Stand against the wall. Okay?
Place yourself...
-exactly at a 90-degree angle.
-90 degrees.
Against the wall. This doesn't count.
It was done discreetly.
I think it was to not offend me.
It was like: "Let's play a game
to see who gets the best room.
"Just for fun." For fun?
It was to take away
my right as the oldest,
as the family's most powerful one,
the patriarch,
to keep the best room.
That's fine. Let's flow.
No, 90 degrees, everyone.
-90.
-Two!
-Ready? One...
-Two, three!
-Two, three!
-Go down.
My back's slipping.
He's getting up. Don't.
I'm not!
My back's sweaty and I'm slipping.
That's not 90 degrees.
-Too much space.
-You're not there.
-Neither is Dad.
-Yes I am. Look.
No, look. Close... Move back.
Damn it.
There. Now dance.
"Let's see who can hold it the longest
"up against the wall
to see who gets the best room."
What's next? Push-ups to see
who gets the most food?
It's a vacation, not Big Brother.
How can you hold it?
I felt like I was really fit.
And then I'm confronted
with this very competitive family.
Despite being lazy
and not exercising in months,
they're really focused
when it's a challenge.
Hands up. If you put them down, you lose.
Do you need a bench?
Done!
We lost Eduardo.
Eduardo lost.
He's the last one to choose a room.
Having to exercise
to get a room really sucks.
Bye. You two lost.
Dude, I saw this on TV
and it didn't look hard.
Look at me. I'm sweating.
I'm against the wall,
giving it my all, sweating buckets...
And it's very interesting
because I thought they wouldn't last.
I mean, I think
I'm the fittest one in this bunch.
It's just that Aislinn
and Ale have been working out a lot,
doing a lot of M-fitness.
So it's getting interesting.
Dad, I said I wanted to play cornhole.
But I said that cornhole... Look at him.
Good, honey, good.
-Damn it.
-Good.
-I can't.
-Just fall for God's sake.
-She's crippled.
-Aislinn, come on.
Aislinn, come on!
He lost! He lost!
-Dad, enough.
-Aislinn, come on!
He lost.
Kick Dad's feet, please.
Enough!
-There!
-No!
Yeah! M-fitness won!
-Well done, honey.
-The M-fitness method works.
I felt great when I won.
I know I won't beat Eugenio
in an argument,
but when it's a challenge...
I'll win.
I can't stand.
Now cornhole.
That's karma. And karma's a bitch.
-Get up. Come on.
-Breathe.
-Come on. Get up.
-You can do it.
-You can do it.
-I swear, I can't.
It hurts.
No, Dad, I can't.
-I don't know...
-The one Aitana likes.
-Which one?
-There, on the left.
Is it the nicest one?
-Aitana likes it.
-Wait.
-He's switching teams.
-No, I am.
-It has the terrace.
-Let me see.
Let's look and then decide.
-Go with Dad.
-Let's go.
We won! "Wham, wham, wham!"
And they all went down, one by one.
Why this one?
Because I like it.
Look!
But we won't be outside.
Mom doesn't like keeping the doors open.
I'm not sure.
Daddy.
My bed here in Jamaica is wonderful.
How's the bed?
How's the bed?
Alessandra didn't try out the bed.
She said: "Aitana wants this room."
How is it?
-How is it?
-Man!
I don't know. We'll see at night.
It's very hard.
We hurt our legs
to win the best room.
And Alessandra chose the hardest bed,
not just in the house, but in history.
You have to be kidding. What a difference!
It's okay, right?
Well, how long are we staying here?
-A week.
-Wow. Incredible.
-I love these sunsets, dude.
-Yeah.
I'm really glad to see you again
and spend time with you.
I didn't choose it,
but I'm glad you're here.
I love you, stupid.
And seeing you... Getting together...
Okay, enough hugs. Damn it.
-All these hugs, this love.
-The snoops.
I love being with my family
and being on this trip together.
I think it's good for us.
But I always worry...
that I'll get these flashbacks
of all the bad things, that we'll argue,
or that Dad will start saying things
that are hurtful or passive aggressive.
So, I hope that doesn't happen.
Hey, I'm really happy
we're on our third meaningful trip. Right?
-It's cool.
-A good start.
A very good start.
-A good start.
-A start.
-A good start.
-A great start.
It's our third chance.
Let's hope we get off scot-free
and there aren't any family divisions.
-Next up on Big Brother...
-Welcome to Jamaica!
-That's right!
-Great!
Your bed's as hard as a brick.
Good thing you reminded me.
Reminded you? I'm sure you didn't forget.
Did you tell Ais? And the others?
No, I'll get them and tell them.
I want to see it.
You're joking.
-What's wrong?
-Come.
-Why?
-I want you to try out my bed.
-Remember what I said?
-Dad. Really?
Yeah. If Ale were here...
Well, the bed's a touchy subject
and she'd get mad.
She'd scold you.
She'd get mad...
"You got the kids to back you up?"
No...
Fuck, you sleep like this?
I told you. You didn't believe me.
Isn't the bed really hard?
-No.
-You bounce off it.
No.
-Wow...
-Wow...
-Do you agree?
-What the...
It's so... It's like a rock.
Isn't it hard? It doesn't contour
to any part of your body.
Yeah, no.
The bed's really hard. It's really hard.
It's an act of love. I'm a hero.
-All right.
-I'm a hero.
-You're right, Dad.
-Wait.
I couldn't sleep. I feel horrible.
Why couldn't you sleep?
How can you ask that?
-Why?
-It's like a rock.
This bed's like a rock.
It's like sleeping on the floor.
Plus, you made me turn off the AC.
I was sweating all night.
I was soaking wet.
How could I sleep
on the floor, soaking wet?
You know I can't sleep with the AC on
because I get sick.
I'd get a sore throat
or the flu or pneumonia. I can't do it.
-So?
-It wasn't very hot last night.
Two things. One, Aitana liked this room.
Aitana saw it and said:
"Mom, this room's incredible."
No, Aitana chose it. Ask the others.
Because Vadhir took hers.
So, since she loves Vadhir
with all her heart,
she said: "Vadhir wants it,
"so we have to give it to him."
It turns out Aislinn took
the room Vadhir wanted.
So Aitana's sacrifice was in vain.
And Ale's sacrifice
for Aitana was in vain.
And I got screwed over.
It doesn't matter
why Aitana chose this room.
She chose it. She was excited and said:
"Mom, look. Look at the patio.
Look how big it is."
I think she also likes the pink here
and that pink thing here.
-She liked it.
-And the gray headboard.
-She liked it.
-And the white walls.
"Flowing" means respecting the fact
that I chose this room,
that I won, and so...
I'm out. I'm sick of this conversation.
Have it your way.
Are you out of arguments?
No, I have arguments, but...
The thing is that I don't have a say.
I can't have an opinion.
I'll flow. Look.
I'm leaving before things get worse.
Bye.
-What's up, bud?
-How's it going?
Where's everyone?
Outside, I think.
You're not going out?
Yeah, but I'm making something.
It's something that'll kill you.
What are you making?
What do you want? Pineapple or orange?
Pineapple, I guess.
Okay, pineapple.
Strong or weak?
-What's strong?
-You know mimosas?
-No.
-This is different.
No, man, no.
Everyone drinks more on vacation.
And there's the saying:
"Hold your liquor."
It's syrup.
I never drink liquor.
-Why not?
-I don't like it.
It's stupid. When I was little...
-Really.
-You stopped?
I never drank. But when I was ten,
I was at a cousin's wedding,
and a waiter had a tray
with shots just like these.
It was something else,
but I remember it was darker.
I'll make some.
So, I thought it'd be funny to take one
and say "What's this?"
I took one and everyone said:
"Eugenito's going to get drunk."
I felt like the center of attention,
so I took a sip.
And everyone laughed.
Exactly.
And I was like...
Then they went back to talking.
And I went to the kitchen
alone with my glass.
Notice how aware and smart I was
at just ten years old.
I went to the kitchen,
saw the glass in my hand, and said:
"What am I doing with my life?"
-Come on, don't be...
-I swear on my kids' lives.
"What am I doing?" I was ten.
Sorry, but I have to show you.
I'll show you.
"What am I doing with my life?"
-No!
-I poured it down the sink.
-And I promised...
-What a pain.
I promised to never try alcohol again.
And since that day,
I've never had a drink.
-Take that.
-Bastard. Enjoy.
It's called willpower.
He thinks I'm drunk all day.
No, I don't get drunk every day.
I have things to do. I work.
I do a lot of things.
I've never been drunk.
I've never had a hangover.
-I've never had...
-Here. You're distracting me.
...a hangover.
Is it that hard to drink
a banana smoothie?
It's good. Let's see?
For God's sake!
It needs another shot.
No, to hell with...
-Who's this garbage for?
-The family.
-I'll take it.
-Go. Hurry.
-Thanks for my smoothie.
-Just go.
My dad... I give up.
No bars. Bruno Mars.
As a dad, I have to make sure
my family's safe and sound.
I enjoy going on these vacations
and taking a break.
I accept that I'm my dad's daughter.
What are you doing?
Putting on sunscreen.
No, Dad, no.
I won't be here long.
I'll go in the shade.
I don't like sunscreen.
-I don't know your habits.
-I look after my skin.
-I noticed. You're tan.
-Yeah.
I can't get along with anyone.
I'm trying to make sure my daughter...
Just ask: "Do you want sunscreen?"
Don't just smear it on.
One day, she took these courses,
and now she has a platform.
And she takes the courses,
she studies, she reads...
And she scolds me?
Tan and tomorrow it'll sting.
You'll be shivering
and you'll remember me.
No, I can take care of myself.
Put on a hat.
I can look after myself.
What? Okay then, Mr. Ramón.
-You're gorgeous with the hat. Right?
-Shut up.
Family!
-There's salad.
-Family.
I made some sauce for my Clamato.
I want you to try it.
Try it and tell me if I can sell it.
I want to sell a Clamato sauce.
-Is it spicy?
-Just a little.
-It has chili.
-Like Clamato.
See what I put up with?
Are you sure? What about...
It's like chamoy, man.
-You didn't find it?
-Anything's possible.
But I searched the whole pool.
Was it, José Eduardo, Dad, or you?
-Who found it?
-Swear on your cats.
-You think I'd do that?
-Of course.
I'm an angel.
What's wrong?
What do you think? José Eduardo?
You son of a bitch.
What's wrong?
It's this stinking son of a bitch.
-What did he do?
-What's wrong?
-Wow!
-I'm selling it. Try it.
-Or I'll keep it.
-What did you do?
I gave him some of the sauce
I'm going to sell.
Vadhir, I think you're...
-Ice.
-Here. Take this.
José Eduardo, why'd you do that
to your brother?
Look, he's spitting it out.
-No.
-Yes. Yes!
-No!
-Yes.
Idiot! You overdid it!
We had to do it at some point.
A taste of your own medicine, bud.
Bastard!
Let's spice up this trip.
Let's see what will happen.
Who will make it back? Who won't?
This can't be a normal trip.
It needs some risks.
It's the spiciest sauce in the world.
There's some kind of pepper in it.
I'll show you, but it's torture.
You'll have to pay for what you just did.
He put lime juice in my eye.
-When did you do that?
-Season two.
Season two. On the couch.
-You were there.
-You're right.
No... It went in!
What did you do?
That prank...
He moved and it went into his eye
instead of his mouth.
Here, man.
Let me confess to a prank
I pulled on poor Vadhir.
We were at the house in La Marquesa.
Remember?
-Yeah.
-How old was Vadhir?
-How old?
-Like ten?
Anyway. Suddenly, Vadhir said:
"Dad, I have to poop."
And I said: "Right now?
Can't you hold it in?"
How dare you need to poop right now?
And we'd go...
He scolded us
when we puked, pooped, or peed.
So I said:
"Okay, let me get some tissues."
I went to the car to get some tissues
and I saw I had a camera in there.
So I told José Eduardo and Aislinn:
"Look, Vadhir has to poop.
When he goes, take pictures."
I didn't focus on raising them
and scolding them. Nothing.
I just wanted to have fun with them.
I'll tell you how it went.
He came up to me and said:
"Aislinn, you're the oldest.
"Be very careful with the camera
"because you only have one chance. Okay?"
And then he gave me a photography lesson.
-Really? No.
-Yeah. Diabolical.
He said: "You focus through here.
"When the piece comes..."
"The piece!"
"...you take the pic."
That's what he said.
-Growing up with a dad like this...
-Like what?
I mean, like one of us.
He also bullied us...
He was like an older brother.
It's a miracle nobody called CPS.
He said: "If Vadhir sees this,
I'll have to scold you.
"But don't worry, it's not for real."
That's how much manipulation there was.
And both of them in the back...
And they went...
I turned around and so did he.
"Dad, they're..." And I'm like:
"Kids! Don't do that! That's not nice."
What you have is
a 30-something-year-old bully
with little kids watching
and learning about life.
Then I developed the film.
And Eugenio still wonders why they're
in therapy. He even argues about it.
I remember we were
at a vacation house once,
and she had the picture
on the back of her door.
Her friends were there.
I was a bit older...
-I went to flirt...
-Hunk.
...with my sister's friends.
And they started laughing.
"The poop!" I didn't understand.
I opened the door and there I was.
-The picture...
-No way.
He doesn't realize the damage
he may have caused.
And it's not funny.
Hey, that's horrible.
-I know. But why did you listen to me?
-That's mean.
Well...
I've been in therapy ever since.
A lot of what I did in therapy worked.
When you go back to your family,
you go back to your old habits
and things you did with them.
This poor kid will need therapy
his whole life.
-What's up?
-Hello.
-Look what I brought you.
-Excuse me?
And what's this surprise?
-It's to pamper you.
-Since when?
It's so you're comfy, calm,
-relaxed...
-Okay.
-Happy. Don't...
-You want something.
-No.
-Are you okay?
Yes.
No? What's wrong?
Don't you think it's too quiet?
Isn't that great?
Yeah. I just mean, I promised
I wouldn't pressure anyone, but...
Cooped up in here all day?
-Honey, we just got here.
-We didn't just get here.
-It's been two days.
-Right. Two days.
God, we just got here.
When we're all together,
he feels like he has to be a dad.
And that makes him very nervous.
He feels responsible.
We took a plane to a new country
that we don't know.
And this is all we've seen. Look.
-With a pic...
-It's beautiful.
If I saw a picture, it could be
Tampico, Puerto Vallarta,
-or Veracruz.
-No, it's the Caribbean.
It only looks like this in the Caribbean.
Water is water.
Why don't you enjoy your time here
with your four children
and spend time with them?
I'm enjoying it.
No, I don't think you're enjoying it.
You're suffering. You're nervous.
Remember that you didn't
bring us to Jamaica.
This isn't our trip.
We, the whole family,
crashed Ais's trip. Okay?
The last time we were all together,
six months ago for Christmas, was a mess.
It reminded me of Morocco.
We almost killed each other.
So don't stir up any trouble.
You promised you'd step aside,
not be controlling, and go with the flow.
You want to work them up? You want...
No, I'm keeping my promise.
I feel like it's not my vacation.
I feel like a guest.
Why don't you just stay here with me?
Look. Take it all in.
There are people who sit back
and watch life happen.
And there are people who make life happen.
Food for thought.
Drink your wine. Go on. Drink it.
God! Damn it.
Hey, your aunt walks like...
She thinks she's
a Victoria's Secret model.
She just needs
Justin Bieber singing behind her.
Listen.
Look at that tan! My God!
I gotta show it off.
Even if it's just to you.
I feel like I'm in 365 Days.
-You don't say?
-She comes in...
Kidnap me.
I love not doing anything. It's great.
I don't think Dad can stand this. Right?
You think he's about to say something?
-Yeah.
-I think so.
-We can't let him.
-He looks suspicious.
-I need you to make me a promise.
-What?
Don't back down
if he starts up with his plans.
You know he pits us against each other...
That won't happen.
Ale and I really want to relax
and not do anything.
He's gonna back out.
I like doing things.
-But you... We're the majority.
-I'm lazy.
If Ale, you, and I are united...
-We're Team Lazy.
-We'll never lose.
We're Team Lazy.
I'd love this trip to be a chance
for us to communicate
like the adults we are.
Don't let us down.
But we'll do something, right?
-Yeah, at some point.
-One thing.
One!
Hide-and-seek.
-No.
-Maybe.
Some squats in the garden.
Okay, I like that. Sold.
You got me with that.
Don't back out. We've agreed.
Okay! Team?
Team?
There's Dad.
Are you spying on us or enjoying the view?
-No...
-Or both?
Or both?
At least take our photo.
I just came to...
You saw peace and happiness and said:
"I have to ruin it."
It's like...
It's like when the kids are quiet.
When they're noisy it's fine.
But when they're quiet...
Something's going on.
Don't you want to go see something?
-No, thanks.
-Not today.
Are you okay here?
Is that why you look like
César Costa from Single Father?
Do you want to go out or what?
I thought we'd go out.
Okay, have fun.
I know he's suffering.
He's like a caged lion.
He's like: "I have to get out."
That brought back memories.
No. My God.
Can he go out alone?
Don't jump!
Don't do it!
Life's beautiful! It's worth living!
He should do it.
It's not that I'm controlling.
It's that a group always has a leader.
When they take charge,
we end up in a pool,
sunbathing and talking.
Why not go somewhere?
Anything. Even the supermarket.
The corner.
But let's go out!
Anything. But... I'm going crazy!
I'm going to die.
If they don't act, I'll have to intervene.
Right away.
So I need an accomplice.
Who do you think?
The ideal accomplice goes with the flow.
-I love you.
-Right...
On this season
of Traveling with the Derbezes...
We can't stay cooped up.
We won't get to know the culture,
the country, the people.
I need your help.
I have a couple of good plans.
The main reason I came to Jamaica
was to go to the School of Vision.
Ta-da! Our water taxi.
What the...
Great surprise. But why didn't you tell us
so we could prepare?
I'll throw this in, too!
It should be like the Montessori method:
do whatever you want.
He's crazy!
Stop!
That's not funny, man. Stop.
I think being a parent is
one of the cruelest things in life.
You have to accept
that it lasts for so little time.
And you'll lose no matter what.
In the end, it's my ego.
I feel you don't need me.
And that hurts a lot.
Come on, Scorpions.
Do you want more humiliation?
We can do it because we're the Derbezes.
If this is happiness,
then let's do it! Right?