De Viaje Con Los Derbez (2019–…): Season 2, Episode 7 - 3 Months Later - full transcript

TRAVELING WITH THE DERBEZES
THREE MONTHS LATER

It's a picnic. I told you
we were going on a picnic.

I brought wine for everyone.

- Sit on the ground.
- Thanks, buddy.

I'll put the flowers here.

What are those for?

Just to decorate.

- That's beautiful, baby.
- Yeah, it is.

I brought my dog Nala. Her name is Nala.

Hi, Nala!

- Really?
- Asshole!



- You thought I'd forget this?
- Smack him.

No way, man.

I brought some food. Who's hungry?

Let's see what you got.

- Nuts.
- I want cheese.

Yeah, cheese.

- It's so nice to see you again!
- Yeah, nice to be here.

It was about time.

- Let's dish.
- Finally together.

How long since we saw each other?
Three months since the trip?

- More or less.
- Yes.

But we've been seeing each other more now.

- It's been nice.
- He hasn't, he lives in Mexico.

We've seen more of you recently,
despite the pandemic.



More than them.

I feel that traveling together
is bringing us closer.

It wasn't like this before.

Well, the first trip...

- unlike--
- Divided us.

- Yes.
- The first trip divided us, didn't it?

- Big time.
- It was like, "Great, see you next year."

Remember that stopover in Amsterdam?

Ais didn't even say goodbye.

- She ran off.
- It was like, "Yeah."

We were like, "Where's Ais?"

I feel like what happened
in Amsterdam, after Morocco,

was that we were a bit sick
of each other, and it was like--

- After--
- You think?

- After--
- I wasn't sick of you.

After that trip,
we didn't see each other for a month.

We didn't talk to each other.

It was four or five months.

We needed a vacation from the vacation.

Exactly.

- But this trip brought us together.
- Yes.

Come on, let's do it!

Follow me.

We've arrived at the yurt!

I have a solution.

I'll get rid of the flies
and clean up the poop.

That's the most romantic
thing you've said in a while.

Maybe that's what love is.

Little bull!

Fuck me.

There you go!

Happy birthday!

There's no manual?

I will sit and watch
José Eduardo put up a tent.

No way.

- Dad!
- What's wrong with you?

Stop! What's wrong with you?

His ass is hanging out.

Go, baby, go!

Take that!

Take that, boy! Take that, boy!

This yearly trip has a purpose.

Thank you.

And the purpose is to grow closer,
to know each other better.

Let's go explore.

- What's up? What are you doing here?
- No way!

And spend quality time...

Go, Scorpions!

...as a family.

What's important is we know we're happy.

I love that you're Aitana's siblings.
I really do love it.

This trip was so much more intimate.

- The other one was chaotic.
- Exactly.

You guys had to be focused
on this little lady.

And my sister with her daughter...

But José Eduardo and I were super chill...

- We had fun.
- Yeah.

What do you prefer? Chaos or intimacy?

- Depends.
- Chaos in intimacy.

No, this recent trip was
vastly different to...

- Which did you prefer?
- This one.

I wish we could have been
together the whole trip.

We were in a better mood.

The only thing I missed
was being with my baby.

- Actually--
- Then I joined you on the last week.

"Who are you talking about?"

You're a different woman.

On this trip, you were my daughter again,
the funny girl, the real you.

I think you feel more liberated

because you're divorced!

You're a grown, fulfilled woman, empowered...

- Free, not afraid of success.
- Free. Yeah, girl!

Yeah!

Go, Scorpions!

Are you okay with not showering?

- I don't care.
- Yeah! Good!

- She's relaxed.
- Like father, like daughter.

Come on!

- Damn! Bitch!
- Come on!

Get up!

You're so lazy!

I have to feel love
and love the person a lot

to give them access to my gate.

That freaking gate must squeak
every time you open it, then.

Kill it!

Bite it! Bite it!

Don't hook up with the guy.

Look, look, look...

- Ale, she's getting naked to seduce him.
- It's what it takes.

What if he says,
"I want someone with a strong sex drive"?

That's fine.

I didn't raise her to be--

So women can't have full sex lives?

I feel like a different person,
to be honest.

- It's like I'm relaxed.
- My daughter's back.

You weren't okay in Morocco.

Things were really bad in Morocco,
I mean, I was...

Unhappy.

We have a name for that
in my neck of the woods.

I also had severe postpartum depression.

- Yeah.
- It was a lot.

- Lots of things.
- Yeah.

Kai wouldn't let you sleep.

But imagine not sleeping for 30 days.

You go insane. You want to kill someone.

- It's tough.
- Yes.

Your mood changes drastically.

- Your life!
- Yeah.

And the truth is,
now that her parents have split up,

there is less aggravation because
you have your own space.

You bring her to her dad's
and you can do your own thing.

I can travel. I can have a different life,
and so can her dad.

I mean, I think her father and I agree

- on sharing the responsibility equally.
- Good.

- Cheers!
- I think the trip was wonderful.

- I loved all the family activities we did.
- Shut up.

Let's talk about
how irresponsible you were.

You don't know how angry I was.
To me, this trip was...

I was so excited about it.

You know I love camping
and extreme activities.

"That's why I practiced beforehand
by partying."

He was so excited, he went on a trip
with his friends to celebrate our trip.

I think that, being the irresponsible
person that I am,

- I was like, "Nothing will go wrong."
- It was self-sabotage.

- That doesn't exist.
- You're good at that.

After mocking Vadhir,
I got it on my way back, after the trip.

Yeah. You got infected
on your way back to Mexico.

Out of everyone I know,
you're the most careful.

- How did it happen?
- He went to a wedding!

This guy went to a wedding
after the trip?

Hold on.

I said, "Don't go to the wedding,
you'll get infected."

In my defense,

no one at the wedding had COVID.

I notified everyone. I told everyone.

- That's what they said.
- I went Saturday, and felt sick Sunday.

- Couldn't have been the wedding.
- It was.

So he goes to this wedding
after the trip, gets infected,

yet his condition,
because he was super paranoid,

was that we quarantined for
at least a week, or he wouldn't travel.

EXCLUSIVE SCENES

Look, so cool!

There's a piano. Living room, dining room.

The jacuzzi, the pool, the fountain.

RENTED HOUSE
BOISE, IDAHO

You outdid yourself.

It's so you don't complain
about us quarantining here.

It's just two weeks.

- No, wait.
- It'll be like five days.

Two weeks to make sure we're all healthy.

José Eduardo freaked out
after what happened to Vadhir and said

we either quarantined
or he wasn't going. So, here we are.

QUARANTINE:
7 DAYS

Locked up for an entire week
in a house in Boise, Idaho.

Without even getting to see Boise, Idaho.

DAY 1

Where is Grand Teton?

Here!

Hey!

I already explained the route--

The overkill crowd. Overkill.

It goes through here.

Nice crack.

- Can you see it?
- Yeah.

- What are we doing?
- Tracing the route.

- From here to wherever we're going.
- The "route" of all evil.

Aislinn! Cooperate! Cooperate!

Well, on this trip,
Dad is taking the reins again.

He wants to control everything.
He won't let anyone else in charge.

Let's see how this pans out.

Yes, very good, honey, very good.
You're my kind of people.

For now, it's going well.
The house is cozy.

DAY 2

It has its comforts.

So, we're gonna take advantage of them
to not get bored.

You're so good.

This is how you're supposed
to play this game.

- Okay.
- How you score.

Take that!

Take that! And on the first try.

What's she doing?

She just got closer.
Like this, look. Here.

No! That's not true.

I wasn't that close.
I wasn't that fucking close at all.

- And also...
- The Duchess has spoken.

- But you were way too close.
- No.

What do you want with your eggs?
Milk or...

- What?
- What do you think?

I'll open this.

A mimosa would be great with breakfast.

Quarantining in this house will help us...

get to know each other even more.

Can you explain your outfit?

I went for a run.

Explain those socks, please.

They're very strange.

- Very strange.
- Very.

I'm going to watch a movie.

The trip hasn't started yet,
and there's friction in the house already.

Every time Ale chats with her friends...

DAY 3

...instead of being normal
and saying, "Hi, how are you?" No.

She's like, "Girlfriend! What did you...
You look gorgeous, girl!

"What did you do to your hair?"

Her friend goes, "Nothing,
it's the same as always." Because it is.

"Nothing, same as always."

"No, no, no, no, no,
you look spectacular."

Between guys that'd be weird.
You can't go to the office...

Imagine walking up to Jiménez,
and going like...

- Jimenez!
- Like that.

Those shorts, so cute.
Your legs look fantastic, Jiménez.

It would be nice if guys could...

- No way.
- ...complement each other, too.

Like women who go to the bathroom and say,

"Did you have a boob job? " "Yes."
"Great job. They look nice. May I?" "Yes."

- As a guy, you can't just go and say--
- I'm circumcised.

- "It looks nice. May I?" Well, no.
- Eugenio!

I have no words.

DAY 4

She's going to break it.
It's already cracking.

We no longer know what to do
to entertain ourselves.

I think we've started
going a little bit...

What is Aislinn doing?
Check that out. Let's find out.

Why are you recording?

Come on. This is private.

Private?

Do it in your room, then.

No, because I'm meditating with the sun.

And there's no sun in my room.

- You're meditating with the sun. Okay.
- Yes.

And what is the sun telling you?

Important things I can't tell you.

I'll let you two talk.

DAY 5

No way. There she goes again.

I pick up poop all day. She poops all day.

Bye! Be a good girl.

I'm your poop flunkey.

So yummy.

- What?
- Nothing. Enjoy!

DAY 6

What's wrong with you?

I literally brought my entire house
in two giant bags.

I'm gonna have so much fun
with all the stuff I've brought.

It's to scare bears.

Idiot!

José Eduardo is enjoying the quarantine
more than anyone in the family.

I brought some face masks.
They're gold face masks.

You look like Luche.

You do. What the hell?

What's on your face?

I have a Charlie Chaplin moustache.

My beautiful unicorn.

You're melting.

Don't tease me.

And he's smoking and drinking all day.

Sleeping, eating,
I mean, this is heaven for him.

See that bee over there?

- I'd have stayed longer.
- It was great.

- No, man.
- Two more weeks.

Your brother distracted you
so he could win. Now, you do the same.

In the end...

DAY 7

...it was an experience that we all loved.

Honestly, nothing tops
being with your family.

Who's there?

I miss you!

I love them with all my heart.

- That reminded me of when I was...
- Little?

When I was little,
you always played the piano like that.

- It was nice, we bonded.
- I had fun.

- Me too.
- Those days...

We did lots of things
that brought us closer as a family.

I had a great time.

I was surprised by--

José Eduardo's fake cockroaches?

No, I was pleasantly surprised
because you may say

that this man is a bad influence,
but he's a good one.

I sent someone to the supermarket,

and they came back
with tons of soft drinks and...

Chips.

All of the food he likes,
but that normally...

Ham.

- Bacon, meat.
- Meat.

- Tacos.
- I said, "You brought too much,

the only one who eats this
is José Eduardo."

He told us off. I mean...

You brought too much!

"There's no way we'll eat it all."

Every day, at this time...

EXCLUSIVE SCENES

...around 10:00 p.m.,

we get the munchies.

You said you wouldn't!

- So phony!
- This is what we eat.

- You're a phony, Dad. A phony.
- No, no.

- Hypocrite.
- José Eduardo eats nothing but junk food.

- He eats it all day long.
- He's a bad influence.

He drinks Coke,
and I start craving Coke.

And I never drink soda.

I order a burger, and you crave a burger.

Yes, and I never eat burgers, or meat,
but I see you and I want one.

- I order bacon, and everybody eats bacon.
- He loves bacon.

We all had some. We felt very guilty.
We had stomachaches.

At one point,
even the guy that did the shopping said,

- "You're eating too much."
- "You finished it!"

"You finished in two days
what you didn't want me to buy."

The rest was left behind.

We were a team.

- Yes.
- In solidarity.

- Exactly.
- I discovered a dark side to my family.

Actually, I really enjoyed that.

- Thanks, Darketo.
- He influenced us to loosen up.

You're still a bad influence.

I enjoyed the quarantine so much,

that I let you guys go and I stayed there,

stuck in my quarantine.

Another day here
in the house, in quarantine.

I can't do anything. I can't leave.

In general, it's all good.
I have no symptoms.

Further back. Back. In the house.

I'm sick of being locked up in the house.

I mean, I've learned to cook,
God knows how many languages,

I've redecorated the house
50 times. And, well...

So I have nothing left to do,
but start writing music.

Wish me luck.

He was on COVID Tinder.

What's that, man?

- It's women with COVID, and they say--
- Yeah.

"I have COVID, too. Come over."

Another thing I loved about this trip was

getting to see places in the US
that I didn't know, none of us knew.

No.

I didn't even know where
Idaho or Wyoming were. No clue.

I had only seen Yellowstone in movies.

Yellowstone is one of the most beautiful
places I've ever seen in my life.

- Yes.
- As impressive as New Zealand.

Yes!

- Montana has some impressive places.
- Montana's glaciers...

- I mean, imagine going up a mountain.
- My favorite.

The glacier was my favorite.

Down below you can see the clouds,
and higher up there's this massive lake.

What about the cold water?

- That was good too!
- Yes, when we jumped into--

You didn't make it to the--

- What happened?
- We got into the glacier's freezing water.

- Freezing.
- We swam in it.

- We jumped from a rock.
- No protection?

- Nothing.
- Nothing!

- When has Dad ever used protection?
- Exactly.

If he had, we wouldn't be here!

This is why you're not a normal girl.

City people are so different

- from the people there.
- Completely.

They have one restaurant,
one bar, and that's it.

City people live at a faster pace,
everything's slower there.

We came across strange people.

How about the guy who taught us
how to make fire and how to survive?

The first thing he said was,
"Imagine you're on a plane that crashes."

And I was like, "Why?"

EXCLUSIVE SCENES

Okay, let's test your knowledge.

You'll learn how to survive.
After this, we can get lost.

Between my wife,
who doesn't like mosquitoes, the wind,

the air, nature,

and José Eduardo, who acts like a pasha,

he won't do anything, I mean, we could die

in the wilderness. We could actually die.

I agree.

So, I decided to hire
an expert in outdoor survival.

- Great!
- Yeah.

- Thanks!
- You're welcome.

SURVIVAL EXPERT

The man looks cuddlier than a teddy bear.

The first thing I thought was,
"Would this man survive in nature?"

I don't think so. He looks like
he should be drinking coffee

in front of a campfire. Anyway.

SURVIVAL EXPERT

Surviving? In the wild?

- Never.
- Alone?

- No.
- Not even 10 minutes.

You die first, then I die.

You die within the first half hour,

and then I might survive
for three months.

But lighters already exist.
Lighters already exist.

- Let's see.
- Go, team.

How do we do this?

- It looks like a dandelion.
- It does.

It's falling on top of it.

- We're city people.
- Almost.

We won't give up.

There it is. Cover it!

- Great!
- Good job, team!

No!

Can you keep warm with this?

Yes. It's hard to believe.
When I heard, I said, "Is this a joke?"

Let's all hug and wrap ourselves in it.

- Like a...
- A hug?

- Come on, team.
- I can't see anything.

Hold on a second!

- Ready?
- Let's go.

Alessandra can't talk about
planes crashing, she gets too upset.

"Imagine the plane goes down."
"Don't say that!"

- Why would I imagine that?
- Ale.

Ale gets upset every time
someone asks her to imagine something.

She gets very upset.

How about the small plane at the glaciers?

- Don't remind me.
- Why not?

PILOT

Alessandra... I don't know, I mean...

- She's a wuss.
- I don't know.

People have died on those planes.

- Yes, definitely.
- I mean, yeah.

And then I start thinking,

"Okay, okay, okay.

"All of my fears are justified."

Ale is panicking.

This is getting good, guys.

Now it's my turn

to make a superhuman effort,
and breathe, and control myself,

and pass this test.

It's incredible, isn't it?

Look at that peak, Vadhir.

It's weird because
Alessandra is taking it well.

I think she is holding it together
and tolerating the whole plane thing.

He joked saying, "It's my third flight,
let me see how this is done."

Like saying, "Sit down, lady."

No, no.

- He said-
- I too--

- Look--
- He said, "Sit down, lady," politely.

Honey, the pilot knows
that by cracking a joke,

it was going to calm me down.

- Then, why is it that when I joke--
- The pilot, not you.

If I cracked a joke under those
circumstances, you'd kill me.

You're not the pilot.

Look, Aitana! A lake!

That lake is above another lake.

I see everything from up there, God knows
how many hidden lakes there are,

there's lake after lake,
mountain after mountain.

Look, Aitana!

No way!

Look at the snow, baby.
That's the glacier.

It's gorgeous!

Right?

The landscapes are incredible,
the mountains are incredible,

the lakes are unreal.

Getting to admire
all of that with my family,

and having Vadhir with us, is incredible.

Let's go, family!

Let's go!

I'm really proud of myself.

Even though I was nervous
throughout the flight,

if this had happened at another point
in my life, I'd have lost it.

I would have cried,
and I would have hyperventilated,

and I would have asked the pilot
to please take us back down.

I mean, I would have made a big scene.

But I remained calm.

Yeah.

- Imagine if someone--
- Questioned how you work.

Questioned your competency.

Regarding the pilot,
I perfectly understand

that he must have been thinking,
"Oh, this lady. Sit down, lady."

Us too.

Anyway, joking aside,

I was a much more relaxed mom
on this trip than in Morocco, wasn't I?

- No.
- Yes.

- Yes.
- Yes!

- Right?
- On all fronts.

- Thanks.
- A hundred percent.

Aitana, what was your favorite part
of the trip? I know. The zip line.

Did you like the zip line?

How did it feel? How was it?

Well, it was really cool.

And it also goes really, really fast.

- You went head first and everything.
- She turned upside down, and...

What was that place in Big Sky
where she jumped...

- The top of--
- No, shut up.

- She jumped from a...
- Like a bungee.

Some sort of bungee.

EXCLUSIVE SCENES

One of the things I really loved
was that, even though Ais left,

on the night she was there,
we were able to spend time together

at the pool table, the darts,
and we all played together.

You played the guitar.

The whole family together.

EXCLUSIVE SCENES

How does it feel?

- We missed you!
- Did you?

What an amazing surprise!

You see? It was possible.

Hey, 24 hours ago,
we were down in the dumps.

- Vadhir wasn't here.
- Yeah.

I asked you how you felt

because this trip was
for you all to be together,

a trip with the kids, and now...

All of my kids are here now.

I'm playing darts. Move over or I'll...

Well, now the whole family is together.

See?

Okay!

Hold on.

- Yes!
- Look at that!

Wait.

- Just like mine.
- Here comes the master.

The master of masters.
Careful, Aitana. Move over.

Wait. This has never been documented.

- No way!
- I'm the master.

- Take that!
- You...

You have one of those
in your apartment, don't you?

I have everything in my apartment.

Take that!

- Take that.
- Well done, birthday boy.

We made the most of that day.

Literally, we made the most of it.
That was cool.

But I'm angry you had to go.

- Yeah.
- I get you have a kid, responsibilities...

- Right.
- More important things than your brother.

I mean, you could have been there
from the start, but you weren't.

True.

And I stayed an extra day to see you.

I was supposed to leave two days earlier.

Vadhir, there's one thing
I want to discuss,

to see if you'll back me up.

We've already established that the men
never pooped in the motorhome.

- The women did.
- No! We didn't either.

- No? The three of you said you would.
- Only Aitana.

But when it came time to clean,
they said,

"Women don't clean, men do,"

even though the men
went into the forest to poop.

Who ended up doing the sewage work?

- Dad.
- Me and Dad.

Aren't you supposed to be wild,
brave, masculine men?

- Wild?
- Masculine men who can poop...

- outside? Outdoors?
- No.

Did you hear that?

I like fear, but...

Wait. Calm down.

What if a snake comes?

I'll shit in my pants.

José Eduardo is a lady,

he is one of the few men I know
who pees sitting down.

Your dad too.

- Really?
- Yes.

- Wait.
- Two ladies.

But that's just good upbringing

because men's bathrooms are disgusting.

I tell my friends,

"It is a courtesy to keep the seat down."

He was sitting on that gross

public toilet at the yurt,

- which was full of shit.
- And flies!

- The one with flies?
- Instead of standing, he sat on it.

- No, no, no.
- Can you explain that?

No.

- Take this.
- I'll cover you.

- Cover me.
- No one will see your pitiful bits.

Hang on. No way.

- Are you really gonna sit?
- I'll squat.

I thought you had to pee, José Eduardo.

Wait. I mean, yes, but I pee sitting down.

- You pee sitting down?
- Yeah.

What's that smell?

Wait.

Why am I your accomplice in this?

- Who else?
- You should've asked Dad.

The six years I lived with my ex,
she was grateful for it.

Women will thank you
for peeing sitting down...

- At home, yes.
- I feel--

- End of discussion.
- No more poop talk.

- We talk about it too much.
- What about you?

"Let's stop talking about shit."

"What about you?"

Speaking of shit...

- How's your marriage going?
- Good.

We're still married, at least.

Holy shit!

So, what's the deal?
Will there be a third season?

I mean, did you guys make it?

I don't know if we'll make it
to the third season--

You never know, but...

- Everything points to yes.
- Wait until the fat lady sings.

No.

Wait, Ale can sing.

No one's singing yet.

- We're hanging in there.
- We are.

Aren't we?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Yes or no?

No. Yes.

Between yes and no.

Yesterday no, but today, yes.

There are always toxic people...

But is it good all the time? No.

Hashtag toxic.

Ais, would you get married again?

I think that, legally, no.

- Illegally?
- Maybe illegally.

Don't marry a shaman.

So, you wouldn't repeat...

Well, I probably would do
another ceremony...

- A symbolic one.
- Spiritual.

But I think the main thing is knowing

that they don't belong to you
and you don't belong to anybody.

- And that there must be freedom.
- That's nice, that toxicity.

I was one of those girlfriends

who wanted to do everything together,
even going to the bathroom.

- I was like you.
- Eugenio is like that.

- And I need space.
- Dad's like that with everyone.

Are you clingy too?

- I am.
- See? There's that toxicity.

It's messed up.

Independence is a very healthy thing.

For everyone.
We celebrate that every year--

- It's healthy.
- Suddenly...

being all together, stuck like glue,
just the way you like it,

sometimes that can be very...

- Demanding.
- Difficult. Exactly.

Sometimes I'm like,

"I need...

- Space.
- "To breathe." Yeah.

- I need space.
- "A month without my family."

No, but space is important, Dad.

- It's healthy for everyone.
- Yes.

I'll be an astronaut.

He goes to extremes.

He's either super clingy, or,

- "Nobody loves me."
- Extremist.

"Everyone hates me."

I'm having an amazing time,
but I have to go now.

Typical, "Well, this was nice,
but I'm leaving."

"It was nice, but..."

- Shut up.
- Why are you leaving?

I have to pick up my daughter from school.

Of course she has to go.

Excuses, excuses. "I'm a mom. Bye."

All right, folks, before she goes,
I've got a surprise.

Last year, I did the exact same thing,

so I had to do it again.

Arrive late?

What?

I'm gonna show you the video I made,
with the song.

Did you make the video?
With the footage we gave you?

You know me, Dad.

Let's see it. Come.

- Press play?
- Go!

If we had gotten married

A long time ago
When I popped the question

You wouldn't be suffering or crying

Because of that humble love
I had for you, damn!

When I had you, damn!
When I had you

But you abandoned me for being poor

You married some old rich guy

And I cried and cried and cried
Night after night, damn!

Night after night, damn!
Night after night

Now I'm the one

Living happily

I built a home
When I lost you

And then, and then I forgot you

And I forgave you

And I can no longer do

Anything for you, anything for you
Anything for you

And now I'm the one

Living happily

I built a home
When I lost you, and then...

I forgave you

And I can no longer do

Anything for you, anything for you,
Anything for you

I loved it. Great, Vad!

Awesome.

So cool!

- Great, son.
- Thanks!

Let's make it a tradition.

Where are we going on our next trip?

He's already planning the next one.

- I'm scared.
- Will there be another one?

- If there isn't another pandemic...
- Exactly.

Okay, I really have to go.

She gets out in 10 minutes.

- Go!
- Let's all go!

- Yeah, let's go.
- Let's.

- My ears!
- What was that? Let's go.

- You've hit a new low.
- Let's go.

- Wait for me.
- Coming!

Come, Fiona, let's go!

- How do I close this?
- Hurry.

Hey, what are you...

Did you really...

José Eduardo!

Are you seriously...

I don't believe this.

I don't believe it.