De Viaje Con Los Derbez (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Chiquitbum Bombita - full transcript

I can't believe we're alone.

Yeah, we got away from everyone

and I'm making her climb up
this labyrinth...

After several conflicts on this trip...

- ...because there were...
- A lot.

A lot. This one wanted to go
back to Los Angeles...

- No. Stop.
- ...after three days.

And a week later, I wanted a divorce.

That was my fault.
Totally my fault. So...

I decided to take her out on a date.

We left Aitana with her siblings.



It would be the first time
they spent time together.

Alone.

Where are you taking me?

Do you remember that the first time

we went out to dinner, when I met you,

I didn't want to take you
to a traditional restaurant

because I thought it was boring

to take you to a typical trendy restaurant
where everyone takes their girlfriends?

I wanted to take you somewhere
much more original.

That's why I brought you
to see the sunset here in Morocco.

The sunset.

Baby, it's beautiful!

Isn't it amazing?

Thank you.



I did a good job, didn't I?

Yes, babe.

Did you ever imagine that 13 years later
you would still be with me?

No.

Actually, yes.

Of course I did.

They want to improve
their marriage overnight.

- That's tough.
- That's tough.

But I feel like today
they're gonna get some...

They're gonna get lucky

They're gonna get lucky

The dirty dogs

They're gonna have a roll in the hay

TRAVELING
WITH THE DERBEZES

Today, we're babysitting Aitana.

Let's see how it goes.

Here, I have my makeup.

- Okay.
- Okay.

The process begins.
Let's go, Aitana, come on!

Now I'm going to put makeup on you.

Aitana loves putting makeup on.

She loves makeup. She's very glamorous.

So I think it's a good idea
to have some sort of girls' night.

Like a night for just the girls,
only with my brothers.

Good luck, girls, guys.

Close your eyes. I'm gonna apply
the same color as the turban.

Okay?

Yes, I mean, my brothers have
to find their feminine side too,

- right?
- Yes.

So, we have to find it.

I'm going to find it.

- Turn around.
- Look this way.

Stop.

What a flirt.
Look at her, look at her shawl.

- "Stop, sir!"
- You started it.

"Stop, sir! Don't be like that, sir."

"They're making me blush, sir."

- Let me see. You look beautiful.
- Stop it.

Go over there. I'm gonna take a picture.

How do you feel physically?

- Stand up.
- Do you feel attractive?

Do you feel attractive?
Like you can conquer the world?

I'm gonna take your picture, okay?

- Like that.
- Make a face like...

Damn.

- Is that okay?
- Perfect. Thank you, babe.

For you, I'll try the wine,
but I'm not gonna like it.

There's just no way.

You know where you did like it?
I remember perfectly.

- Where?
- It was on that trip.

- Tell me...
- "Tell me."

I just can't stand the taste of wine.

Or alcohol in general. I just can't.

Can we make a toast?
What do you want to toast to?

To this unique trip...

that has united the family.

Not just us, but Aitana with her siblings.

To our family.

Oh, my God.

Without making faces. Like an adult.

- Mine tastes like vinegar.
- Okay.

The wine, I mean, not my...

Do you want me to put makeup
on your brothers?

- Yes.
- There it is.

- We do as Aitana says, and that's it.
- But... No.

- We didn't sign up for this.
- No.

I don't care. I mean...

- Getting made up like drag queens?
- Like drag queens, exactly.

- I mean...
- Yeah.

Imagine if we like it.

- Do I look good, Aitana?
- Yes.

- Hold on.
- With José it's not very obvious.

You're embarrassing me.

Oh, dear Lord!

No! Stop, Ais! Stop!

Imagine a little stream,

with little birds, a rainbow...

Calm down.

Thank you, sweetie.

I love seeing their scared faces
when I'm curling their eyelashes.

- Okay?
- Yeah.

Take a deep breath.

I like torturing my brothers.

- You hit me!
- Don't be a wimp.

- "You hit me..."
- Your brother is a wimp.

Dude, now that you're a woman,
you can't go around with a hairy chest.

Shave your boobs.

What?

Gosh, what one does for his family.

That's true. Hang on.

Wait, you idiot,
you're squeezing my eyelid.

- Shut up!
- Yes!

Look into my eyes and show me
how much of a man you are.

Beauty comes at a price. Beauty hurts.

With your skin tone
you do look like a drag queen.

We look pretty, don't we?

- Yeah, we don't look bad.
- Not at all.

What?

It's not a look I would use every day.

- No.
- But for a weekend, yes.

One wild night.

- Maybe.
- Maybe.

- Powerful.
- Okay.

That's it.

Powerful Moroccan woman.

Empowered Moroccan woman pose.

Dance.

I think this moment

was like taking Aitana back to our past

to see how we would have fun
and how we were as kids.

Duck face.

And it was like being with Aitana,

everyone became the same age.

I just saw an oasis!

I thought it was amazing.

It's as if we had taken Aitana
back in time.

- This stays here.
- This stays here.

- Aitana...
- This has to be a secret, okay?

It's a secret. You can't tell anybody.

- We did this for you.
- Yeah.

Okay.

We have had so many moments like this one

that can't get any better.

I really need our time together.

And I feel like on this trip
I've barely seen you.

How? I'm the one right next to you in bed.

Well, yeah, but...

If you turn to the right...
The problem is you don't turn around.

You're in a phase where
you don't turn around to see me.

Do you remember our trip to Europe?

We had been together
for three or four years,

and I took you on a spectacular trip
across Europe, which was delightful.

That was also the trip where I thought...

Where I thought that
you were going to propose. Remember?

Right.

Don't laugh.

It's like you're making fun of me.
Why do you do that?

I'm not. The thing is...

My heart broke into,
like, a billion pieces.

It was my first time in Italy...

And we were in Venice,
enjoying the last moments of our trip...

St. Mark's Square.
It was the perfect moment.

- No.
- Yes!

I turn off the camera,
and in that moment, that was it.

And then I said,

"All right, let's go."

Because... "Okay, let's go."
It was time to go.

So, while we're on this spectacular trip, suddenly,

out of nowhere,
she'd start crying and get sad,

and I'd be like, "What did I do?"

"No, nothing, I just thought
you would propose here."

Why?

So, if we would've been here years ago,
you would've thought,

- that I was going to propose?
- Of course.

Well, in that case,

would you marry me again?

Are you proposing for real?

Stop.

Are you really proposing?

I'm really proposing.

Yes, I do.

It makes me feel loved,

and that, despite everything,

our love remains intact.

I wanted to do it the same way I did

when I proposed the first time

And it makes me feel very happy

to think about a new, small ceremony.

You want another ceremony?

With a ceremony and everything?

Well, what do you think?
You proposed to me.

Well, what I said was like,
"Would you marry me again?"

- "Yes."
- Yes.

- Well, okay, so...
- So, like...

- No, we'll have a ceremony...
- Exactly.

...but a small one. Something...

- Something like...
- He's already backing out.

Let's go get our girl, come on.

I love you, silly.

So, Aitana is helping me
take off the makeup

because I don't know how to take it off,
but you do, right?

Yes. But it's sticky.

It's sticky.

I look like I cried all night.

Like my husband left me.

After that magical
and romantic evening in Ouarzazate,

a night filled with magic and...

Samba Ramba, Samba Ramba

Like José Eduardo and Vadhir like to say,

the next day,
I had a surprise for everyone.

We're headed to the Agafay Desert.

The surprise is,
we're going to the Agafay Desert

to do something called "glamping."

Glamping is a type of camping,
but with glamour.

That's why it's called "glam-ping."

Gentlemen, if you're going
to use the bathroom,

there's ladies here, okay?

You mean that the gentlemen here
don't lift the seat to pee or what?

No, I don't know these three gentlemen.
I only know mine.

And I was newspaper trained.

"Come here.
What are these splashes?"

Hit me with the newspaper.

Now I pee sitting down.

- No splash.
- No splash.

So, what do you think if we apply the rule

of trying not to pee or poop in here?

Because it's very gross
to remove the tray with the stuff and...

What tray? It's not a tray.

Well, it's like a...

The container, the tank of...

- The black water tank.
- The feces tank.

Where did you get those eggs?

- If I don't eat, how will I survive?
- Every time I turn around,

one of you has a hard one in his hand.

- A hard egg in his hand.
- I mean...

Hey, what are you looking at back there?

What a perv.

- Look, every time I turn around...
- What a perv.

...one of your sons has a hardboiled egg.

Literally, he has an egg in his hand.

I'll go see the doctor when we get back.

I mean, what's up with your sons?

They're egg-sperts. What can I do?

You know?

A little bit like Cuba, right?

Babe!

What the hell?

Could you please not brake like that?

Eugenio, behave yourself.

She's right here all the time.
She doesn't let go.

God damn it. Okay...

I forgot to take the pill,
so I wouldn't get nauseous.

And it's a big mistake.

Hey, can I... Vadhir...

Vadhir, I'm about to throw up.

Can I sit there?

Suddenly, the vehicle started
moving more.

There are a lot of curves.

I can't take it.

And in one second
it's like my blood sugar dropped

or something happened,

and boom, I feel like I'm gonna faint.

Baby, can you slow down, please?

Thank you.

Aislinn is feeling sick, so, please...

I don't know why,
but I think she's pregnant.

I think that the dizziness

is happening a lot.

She could be pregnant.

Thank you.

This guy is on the phone,
and he won't let us...

Did you see him?

He's on a conference call.

Look at that, so cool.

I'm trying to find something to give her,
moving her, trying to help her,

and everyone else keeps driving,
or using their cell phones and all that.

I mean, a little help?

Like, what the hell?

Bite down.

Are you okay? Do you need anything else?

I told her, "You have to take the pill
before getting in, you know,

"so you can handle the motion sickness."

We're in the middle of the road,

and my sister is puking very hard.

She couldn't take the curves
and the dizziness,

and she's having a really bad time.

So, now someone just came to help us.

Ma'am?

We're here.

Thank you.

We're here.

Let it out, Ais. Let it out.

Vadhir was the one who helped me.

No one else cared,
but Alessandra and Vadhir.

Mauricio didn't give a shit.

What did she say?
I gave a shit about what?

You could have prevented it.

Her motion sickness?
There's no way of preventing it.

- How?
- Riding in the front seat,

looking at the road ahead of us
without doing anything.

That's the only way
I don't get motion sickness.

So, why aren't you sitting here?
Why didn't you say anything?

No, I'm good. We're almost there.

For God's sake.

Are you doing okay, babe?

Look, there's a monster!

We're here!

Holy crap.

Holy crap.

- No!
- No, Aitana!

Hey, José Eduardo, who said that?

- Vadhir!
- No, it was José Eduardo.

Holy crap!

Holy crap.

This one looks...

- It's delicious.
- I'm finishing this.

No one else will even taste it.

Do you want a cookie, honey?

- You've really outdone yourself.
- Do you like it?

Yes.

How about a little recognition?
Jeez, I deserve it this time.

- Hip, hip, hooray.
- Hooray!

Hip, hip, hooray.

Standing ovation.

Yes, this was a good plan.

I finally got one.

You're welcome.

Isn't this amazing?

Now really you got an A plus.

Yeah, it's very cool.

Finally! A place to myself.

A tent. But still, a place to myself.

This is the real Morocco.

You have to hold
your father's hand, Aitana.

Let's go. We're gonna climb a mountain.

I just asked my kids
to put on their jellabas,

and what we're gonna do
is climb the mountain

to watch the sunset.

- Mau!
- Mau!

I think Mauricio is taking long

because he's probably putting
thermal clothes on the baby.

Like three layers of sweaters...

What can I say?

Oh, my God.

Here he comes. What the hell he was doing?

No way. It will take him
30 minutes to catch up.

By the time Mauricio arrives,
we'll be heading down.

How do you like the view, Aitana? Come.

Everything looks amazing.

It's so cool to be here, seriously.

- I love it.
- Holy shit.

Being able to be here is awesome.

For me, this is the real Morocco.

- Yes.
- Finally.

It's amazing.

Since they were little,
I always told them,

"Let's go watch the sunset in silence."

That's it.

Yes.

Hey, Mauricio is here.

He looks like a lady with that skirt.

What's up with his skirt?

Finally.

May the Force be with all of you.

Finally, Obi-Mau Kenobi is here.

Hey, you dressed Kai for snow.

I couldn't understand
what you were yelling.

I was just telling you to put on
her green jacket,

not to suit her up for 10 below.

Enjoy the sunset.

I mean, she has no boots.

Her pants don't have the underwear.

It's there.
You just have to find it in the suitcase.

Where's the peace
that took us so long to find?

Enjoy this sunset.

I'm discussing important things
with my husband,

- for God's sake.
- Oh, my God.

Let's cleanse our chakras.

But, listen, connect
your hearts with the mountains.

If only you would connect
your heart with me.

Shut up. If only you connected
yours with me.

Take that!

We can't even enjoy a sunset.

You've been contradicting me
this whole trip, Mauricio.

For God's sake.

And what about you?
The pot calling the kettle black.

Please.

Seriously, take a deep breath
and calm the hell down.

You both should take an Uber camel
back to Marrakesh.

Mauricio can go back. Why me?

- I really don't like you...
- I know.

...when you contradict me.

- I really hate it.
- Like Magdalene.

I want to ask, please,
for a minute of silence

while the sun goes down.

Who died?

Oh, my God.

Hey, it's so nice
being here with you guys.

We're watching the sunrise.

Look! The sun is rising!

Say, "Hi, sun!

"Hi, sun!"

After that moment that we had,

I think that we need to work as a couple

and as a marriage,

but I feel united with you again.

Me too.

I was feeling a little isolated.

Very isolated. Very disconnected.

I couldn't be happier, babe. You?

Spectacular!

I'm the kind of person who thinks,

"While I have it,
I have to make the most of it."

So when I saw the bath, I thought,
"I have to get in, right?"

To get into this relaxation
and peaceful mood...

Like weirdos like my sister say,

to find oneself , right?
That kind of bullcrap.

I deserve this and more.

Vadhir!

- What?
- Come here!

- Coming!
- It's urgent!

Okay.

I don't understand why he needs me.

He's just relaxing in his tub.

You're naked, right?

I don't need to see those things,
You're taking a bath.

No, I mean, like...

Don't be a jerk. The sun is really strong.

Give me my sunglasses. Don't be that way.

The sun's hitting me really hard.

Dude, I'm not your maid.

No, but you're my buddy.
I'll get you something next time.

Do you have any idea
how arrogant you're being right now?

You're a jerk, like, what the hell.

- Oh, it's just...
- Anything else?

Can I bring you some cheese?

- A board of...
- No, but actually, my glass...

is empty.

Oh, my God.

Well? Go ahead, take a picture.

One, two...

Okay.

Now turn your head that way. That's it.

You look like a pimp, dude.

How did you like my poses, with...

In the tub.

You were just bullying me about,

"Look at me and my awesome poses,"
and now look.

No. But check me out with my glass,
my champagne,

my cigarette, my sunglasses, super cool...

The student has become the master.

- Come on, slacker.
- In a minute.

Get out of there, start the day. Come on.

The good life is expensive.

There's a cheaper one,
but that's not living.

Look. There.

- That's it. Like a cigarette.
- On this side.

- Are you playing?
- Yes.

Let me score a goal.

Okay, score a goal.

You really know a lot about sports.

I want to take this opportunity,
since we're here,

to show you what I've been recording.

My music.

I've already told my dad a couple of times

that I've been composing
and making new music in Los Angeles,

and I wanted to find
the perfect time to show it to him.

To show someone something you created,

I think it's a process that leaves you
completely exposed.

I feel very vulnerable.

They don't seem to be
hating it or loving it.

They're listening to it,
and I'm very nervous.

I have a few more, but overall
I think that this is the single.

- That's the strongest?
- The strongest, yes.

- Super.
- Because it's good for clubs,

- for the radio...
- It's super catchy, too.

The lyrics are easy to remember.

- Yeah.
- It's amazing, I loved it.

That's the hook right there.

Well, I don't know.

I can see he's thinking,

and I loved everything Ale said,
I know she liked it,

but obviously I am hoping for support
from my dad.

To see if he likes it.

A little approval wouldn't be bad.

I don't know, I'm a bit worried

that, because you're following
the flow, as they call it,

- of what's trendy now...
- The train.

...that you might lose your identity.

That you won't be you,

but Vadhir trying to imitate
whoever is popular now on the radio.

You used to show us the songs you wrote.
Weren't those the best?

You have spectacular ballads.

- Very beautiful.
- Amazing.

Those really made me respect you.

If I concentrate
on creating a ballad right now,

do you know where it will get me?

- Nowhere.
- Nowhere.

And it's really sad.

- Who knows?
- I swear it won't.

I'm telling you this
because it worries me.

I always try to analyze it

so I'm not the typical person that goes,
"Oh, really good, so cool!"

- Yeah.
- That doesn't really help you.

I know.

What could go wrong?

What could work against it?

And that's where I start looking
for the cons.

I've been working so long on these songs,

on the new stuff I want to release.

It's something
that I obviously want to work,

and it would really help to have
my father's support.

But I have to swallow that,
and understand,

and look at the bright side.

- Okay.
- And you're doing a great job.

I'm telling you to use your voice.

Do your own thing, not,

"Okay, Joe is popular now,
let's do..." No.

- Be yourself.
- Right.

- That's the best advice I can give you.
- Thank you.

I feel like you could've encouraged Vadhir
more with his song.

Yes, but the thing is,
he's asking my advice,

and I've grown in my career
thanks to constructive criticism.

So what I'm trying to do
is to give him advice.

I understand. Of your three oldest kids,

the one that needs
your approval the most is Vadhir.

Damn! I can't believe it.

Where's José Eduardo?

José Eduardo is having a mimosa.

- There he is.
- Here he is. Speak of the devil.

Hey, you won't believe
what the RV smells like.

What does it smell like?

It smells like a dead animal.
Didn't we have an agreement?

I only peed.

Hold on, this is suspicious.

- How?
- Why?

Because sometimes, when you pee,
you told me...

- It just comes out?
- Exactly.

- "It just came out."
- Oh, no!

How does it come out?

- You've told me...
- How could you possibly...

...when I needed to go to the bathroom,
"Hold on, I need to pee."

That's gross.

- Why are you doing this?
- I say, "I had to pee."

You say, "Sorry,
it's just that sometimes..."

Once you start,
sometimes everything comes out.

Can everyone shut up?

Admit it was you.

You can't say those things
in front of my family,

about me peeing or pooping, come on.

- It's your family.
- No. You air dirty laundry at home.

I think it's very childish
that among six adults,

whoever did it can't say, "I did it,"
and go clean it up.

- Then say something, Dad.
- We're waiting for you.

Oh, my God, so now I have to clean up
what someone else did?

Just say, "It was me, I'll clean it up,"

- end of story.
- We're forgetting something.

If it wasn't any of us, that means...

- It was Aitana.
- It wasn't me!

So, let's all six of us go
and clean it up.

That way there'll be justice.

I saw that José Eduardo
was rubbing his belly,

like he was feeling sick.

I'm sure I saw Ais going
into the bathroom.

I saw Alessandra going into the bathroom.

It might've been Eugenio, too.

- I'm gonna pull this lever.
- No!

Aitana, pull that lever.

No! No, baby, come here.

- No, don't touch that!
- No, Aitana, no!

No! Don't touch that. No, don't.

Come, babe. No, because
pee and poop come out of there.

But it comes out the middle,
not from here.

Do you see that pipe?

My pipe will break if I don't get up now.

No, I'm serious.
That's where the poop comes out.

Look, at some point,
you cleaned Aislinn's, Vadhir's and mine.

So now it's your turn to clean mine.
Come on.

- So it is yours.
- No!

There it is! Yes! I knew it!

I knew it was him.

- Damn you.
- It was an expression.

- I want to see!
- There you go.

What do you want to see?

The poop?

Why do you want to see
other people's poop?

I want to see it.

She wants to see other people's poop.

The girl is morbid,
like her siblings and father.

How do you feel here?

This desert has been the highlight for me.

Well, I've always seen you
as very chill and very calm.

For some strange reason,

he's the most chill member of the family.

That's what I want to achieve.

What takes you to your center?

I mean, what makes you feel good?

Betting.

A game of poker, dude.
A casino takes my stress away.

No way.

Yes. Of course.

I mean, you and I are total opposites.

I'd love to be like José Eduardo,

who just goes to a casino
and evens out. How?

That's terrible.
What do you mean, a casino?

I'm curious to know
what else is going on...

in there.

Close your eyes.

Take a deep breath.

When you breathe,

you're going to feel
like you're receiving a lot of energy,

very light energy.

And, when you exhale,
release all your bad energy...

Well, you've been sleeping well.

And that hasn't made you mad!

"And that hasn't made you mad."

Don't project.

Whatever you've been feeling
these days, let it go!

Well, I do need it.

I am not as Zen as you.

I really need to do a lot of stuff
to attain Zen mode.

I feel like José Eduardo is
starting to think that I'm really crazy.

I love her, but that doesn't make her
any less of a weirdo.

Imagine being completely open
and able to communicate with all things.

I think this chat would have made
a lot more sense

if I'd smoked a joint or something,
I don't know.

It's beautiful that we're so different,
yet we love each other.

- Yes, like yin and yang.
- Exactly.

- Right, let's go. I need a drink.
- Deal.

- Here we go!
- No!

José Eduardo!

- What are you doing, dude?
- Nothing.

Just chilling, daydreaming.

What's it like to be
the only smoker in the family?

- Good, no one bums my cigarettes.
- They last longer?

No one asks me for any.

I decide to have a moment alone.

There's a reason someone goes
someplace alone, right?

Because they want to be alone.

Hey, what's this for?

It's used to make campfires.

It's good because it's cold,
but I don't know how to use it. Do you?

You've never made a campfire?
I can't believe it.

No. I'm a city boy.

Well, I grew up in a ranch.

- Country boy.
- Country boy.

Don't you want to learn?

Let's learn how to make a campfire.

I'm smoking my cigarette,

I'm looking at the stars,

enjoying the view...

And here comes Mauricio.

I mean, no one asked you
for campfire lessons, man.

I'd better not get a splinter, Mauricio.

It's wood, nothing will happen
to your hands.

- Like this?
- No.

Not like that.
You have to make a triangle.

Okay. Hold on.

There I am, grabbing the damn sticks,

which weigh a ton,
I'm getting splinters on my hands...

- These are hands...
- Look.

...the worms will never eat.

Why did he feel the need
to come and ruin my time?

Don't get a splinter, okay?

- A splinter.
- No. Okay.

I'm just gonna sit here

and enjoy the show.

Don't tell me you're already tired.

My tailbone hurts.

You're doing great.

José Eduardo, do you remember
that you were bothering me

this entire trip about your mom?

This is my moment.

- No, José Eduardo!
- No!

- You did it wrong, man.
- Damn it, Mauricio. What the hell?

I didn't even touch it.

- Shit!
- What is it?

- There was a bug.
- Where?

What is it?

- What is it?
- It's following you, dude.

What is it, damn it?

- No way. What is it?
- It doesn't bite, dude.

- What is this crap?
- I can't believe you're such a wuss.

This is one of the most enjoyable
moments of the trip.

Thank you, José Eduardo.

- There we go.
- This thing is like an artform.

- Of course.
- Look at that.

- Damn, Mau!
- Congratulations.

- Go, Scorpions!
- Scorpions!

You've lit your first campfire.

- Can I have my boy scout badge now?
- Yeah.

There you are. Your star.

What are you doing?

Trying to light the campfire.
What do you think, Aitana?

- What do you think, baby?
- Do you like it or not, Aitana?

Is it warm here?

It's nice, right?

She's entranced by the fire.

I know, that happens to me, too.

It kind of draws you in, right?

Do you know how to make a campfire?

I know how to light a fireplace.

- A fireplace?
- It must be pretty similar.

Well, José Eduardo didn't know
the first thing.

I never had a father to teach me as a kid.

Oh, my God.

What are you doing?

Who's that?

Look.

- Look who's here.
- Hello, Kai!

Aitana, Grandpa, Dad,

- your uncle.
- Hi, Kai!

And the whole family starts coming over
to sit around the campfire.

I mean, you can't be alone
because they're like mosquitoes

that love to swarm around you.

Sit down. Grab a seat.

No!

I mean, you also have
to learn to be alone.

Why do we always have to be
together for everything?

Come on!

Hey, you were saying that
it's going to be Vadhir's birthday soon.

It's coming.

What should we do?

I want you to help me organize a...
I don't know.

- We have to do something.
- A Mexican tablecloth stainer.

- A party?
- A tablecloth stainer? What's that?

It means your tablecloth will get dirty
because there's gonna be a shindig.

What's a "shindig," for God's sake?

It means there's gonna be a party,
people are gonna have fun, there's...

No, we're gonna throw him a party,
but I need you to help me.

What would make Vadhir happy is
if you brought together a lot women

of various nationalities,
very beautiful...

- I don't want to get him a lap dance...
- No?

But that would make him happy.

No, we could organize
a typical Moroccan dinner.

- Oh, God.
- No. With soup?

No, because they have belly dancers and...

- Right.
- I mean, it's an entire show.

Belly dancers.

But they have to be cute,
otherwise he won't accept.

I know my family.

Yes, but...

It's not like we're choosing his wife.

- Exactly.
- It's a birthday party.

Stop. He's coming.

I was going to light the campfire,
but I thought, "What's the point?

"They'll laugh at me if I can't light it."

Why don't we do an exercise?

You sing with the ukulele,

I'll go, and each of you will make
a different sound, okay?

I'll start.

Okay.

Aislinn goes,
"So, let's each of us make a sound

"and you make this sound,
and you make that noise..."

Well, if you can't beat 'em,

join 'em.

That's it! That was good!

ON THE NEXT EPISODE

We're here, family!

I don't think Vadhir even suspects

the big surprise I have for him.

Each one of us say something nice
about what we think of the others.

And he opened Pandora's box.

You have this great power
to break me down in two seconds.

Dad, I want to live
to take care of my daughter.

The gear is new, it's fine, don't worry.

Dad, what is that?

I hate you.

Why do the sides bend like that?

Now I did put us all too much at risk.

Happy birthday, freaking Vadhir.