De Viaje Con Los Derbez (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Bienvenidos a Marruecos - full transcript

Arriving at the airport!

- Are you excited?
- No.

How are you? It's a pleasure
to say hi to all of you.

We want to share with you
a very special project for me.

I want you to see who I'm with.

Vadhir.

- Ale.
- Hi!

- Aitana.
- Hi, family!

- José Eduardo.
- Listen to him.

- Aislinn.
- Sit down, lady.

- Including Mau.
- Kisses.



And Kai.

For the first time ever,

we're going to travel together.

All of us.

All of us!

Even José Eduardo.

Here we go.

His mother gave him permission to come.

For almost a month,

we'll be away from Mexico,
away from the US.

We'll be offline.
We won't be active on social media.

But that's what I live off.

When the trip ends,
we'll share the highlights with you.

Enough, for God's sake!



- Sending you kisses and hugs.
- Bye.

- Best regards.
- Bye.

- Say bye, everyone.
- Bye.

Bye. We love you.
Follow me, and I'll follow you back.

No. That's pathetic.

Say bye, Aitana.

- Say bye
- Bye!

6 HOURS EARLIER

What's up? Here I am, packing.

It's heavy, too.

Kisses, I have to go to the airport
and say goodbye to Fiona.

One more goodbye
to our beloved little Fiona.

I love you, okay?

I love you.

It's a face that only a father could love.

Hey, Kai.

Hello!

Hello!

Everything's packed,
including the kitchen sink.

And the stuff for the baby.

It's for a month.

We're ready. The suitcase is ready.

See you soon.

Are you happy to be traveling
with José Eduardo and all your siblings?

- So nervous!
- So nervous!

And I'm afraid.

I'm afraid!

Let's go!

How's it going, Mommy?

- Taking selfies?
- No way!

- Okay, fine.
- No, don't upload that.

I've noticed recently
that the right side of my body

is bigger than the left side.

I told your mom not to smoke
or drink during her pregnancy,

but she didn't listen.

There you are! Hi!

I'm very excited.
We're all here at the airport

And I think it's going to be good.

Hello!

Mommy!

What? Did the floor disappear?

My, that was funny.

Mom, you have to be careful!

I have to be very careful.

We're about to get on the plane!

Let's go!

You've been holding up like a champ.

Yes, she is a champ.

Yeah, she's a champ. She really is.

Flying is not my thing.

I feel better knowing
that we're all together.

If something happens,
it happens to all of us.

Shut up!

I want you to see
what I put in Vadhir's hair.

It's an egg shell.

We've arrived in Amsterdam.

We have one more flight to go.
I'm very tired.

Something I ate didn't agree with me.

It gave me diarrhea.

You can't even imagine

- what that flight was like.
- That was bad.

We're heading
to the second flight. Awesome!

You did sleep on the other flight.

No.

I'm dead tired.

25 HOURS LATER

We're here!

We're here.

Well, here we are.

This is my family.

My complicated, beautiful
and jet-lagged family

traveling together
for the first time in our lives.

That's what happens when you have
four kids with different moms.

Did I not mention that?

Well, yes. Don't judge me.
It's a long story.

A very interesting one, by the way.

But I'll tell it to you later.

Wow!

But here we are,
our first time traveling together...

...first time in Morocco...

Wow!

...first time living under the same roof,

and the first time that José Eduardo
carries his own suitcase.

It's the start of a new family tradition.

The Uber is a camel, right?

If we don't end up
killing each other, that is.

This is crazy!

TRAVELING
WITH THE DERBEZES

Ready?

Aitana, look how exciting!

Well, the first time he told me
about his idea of traveling together,

the first thing I thought was that

it wasn't a very good idea.

Why?

Because we've never traveled together.

We've never lived together for this long,

and, in the last year,
we barely saw each other.

It's beautiful.

But going on vacation together
for the first time ever...

Look!

...and with Aitana at this age,

I think it's wonderful.

Look, another tub! There's another tub!

Another tub!

I think it's a gift from life
that we can all be together

in a way that we haven't been before.

You're welcome.

This one is cheese. It's cheese.

I can't.

Just so you understand,
this is how the family works.

There's my dad, four women, and four kids.

I'm the eldest.

And after that, it's me.

And then me.

And finally, Aitana, the youngest.
She's four years old.

So, we didn't grow up under the same roof,
in the same house.

We would only see each other on weekends
when we were with my dad.

I think my last trip with him was
when I was 10 years old.

It's the first time we're going
to spend so much time together

in the same room, in the same place.

This is so good.

It's going to be intense,

and I think it'll be fun, too.

And a little weird.

Like our childhood.

What is this?

It's gonna be a month of this.

- Let's go!
- Hurry up!

Thank you. I'm just very hungry.

Ready.

Right this way. This is the living room.

This is the room for...

For the children.
The parents have another bigger suite.

Would you like to see the other rooms?

I can show them to you.

Oh, please.

Give me a break! You're not fluent!

Le français is not your strong point.

I don't speak French well.
I kind of garble it.

Come on,
they're going to show us the rooms.

Let's follow him.

The living room is on one side,
and another room on the other side.

It's beautiful.

Ais and Mau,
I think this room belongs to you.

The truth is that having to live...

...with everyone is something new for me.

This room is Mauricio's and mine.

Hey!

I want to sound
politically correct, but...

The truth is

we're afraid of losing the privacy

- that we have...
- Yeah.

...now that we're all under the same roof.

Even though I'm open to...

My family is really invasive.

We all fit in here,
so we can shower at the same time.

- We can all shower together in here.
- To save time.

To save water.

We lather up rubbing on each other.

Yeah, like this.

This reminds me of the military school
my dad sent me to.

Hey, don't say that.

I think I slept with Vadhir,
José Eduardo and my dad

when we saw each other on weekends.

We slept in the same bed
until I was like 15 years old.

It's weird, I know, but it was really fun.

This is Vadhir and José Eduardo's room.

- Are you serious?
- That's very close living.

This is like one third the size
of the other room we saw.

Hold on. Even dogs have breeds.

- That's right.
- There are hierarchies.

You're still young.
I've already given birth.

- I deserve something more comfortable.
- You already sleep together.

You can be together.

They're legally married.
You guys are single.

- So we're not legally brothers?
- You're the young guys.

Tip number one for this trip.

If you want a bigger room or an upgrade,

you just have to bring a woman,
preferably pregnant.

Then you'll get a bigger room.

Otherwise, you're screwed.

There are hierarchies.

But from here he can see me over there
taking everything off.

It's not like it's only three days.

I mean, I can take three days, but no!

The bathroom doesn't even
have a door. I mean...

If you make a noise in there...

If my brother goes to the bathroom,
I'm gonna have to listen to that.

Closing doors is not allowed, okay?

So, we're gonna see each other
the way God made us?

We're used to that kind of dynamic
of all of us together.

All in the same bed,
all in the same bathroom,

all in the same whatever.

And that's his nightmare.

Gross.

She pooped.

- She pooped?
- She pooped.

Change her, Vadhir,
you should start training.

- Come on.
- I've never changed a diaper.

It would be good to learn.

I'll go get you the things.

No, tomorrow. Do it tomorrow.

Why tomorrow? Do it now.

- Come on, do it.
- No.

No, don't... No, I'm going to sleep.

- When she has poo and pee...
- Yeah, Vadhir is ready.

Smells like poo.

It's like half her size.

No, no way!

They should get that checked out.
It's not normal.

What is that?

José Eduardo, what is wrong with you?

Are you serious?

Since he was little, he can't take...

He thinks everything is gross.

Are you serious?

He's the most picky and squeamish

in the family.
He gets like that.

José Eduardo, come here.

I can't take it.
I'll have nightmares about this.

What's he going to do when he has kids?

- Seriously.
- Nothing.

Poor thing.
He's going to need years of therapy.

A little here,

and the other one like this,
then down here.

We have a beautiful house.

And we have some snow-covered mountains.

Here we have
a beautiful, happy white cloud.

This is a happy cloud.

She's a very good diaper model.

- She's not moving or anything.
- She's very good.

She's a good girl.

My first time changing a diaper.

Very good.

Bravo!

Bravo, Vadhir! Bravo!

Bravo!

Unbelievable.

Bravo!

I mean, it's incredible that
we're all united and coming together

around the little girl's poop.

Holy crap, right?

- Hey! The visitors want to sleep!
- Very good!

Why?

I've gone more than 24 hours
without sleep.

- Aitana, let's go sleep, sweetie.
- Let's go to sleep.

José Eduardo!

Have you ever gotten a tattoo?

I want you to see
my brother's big scorpion.

It looks like a bruise.

Think twice, guys.

I'm calling José Eduardo and Vadhir
and Aislinn, but they're not answering.

It's 7:30 in the morning.
What is wrong with you?

I keep texting them, calling them,
but they're not answering.

They're asleep!

So, Eugenio gets up and he's like,

"I have to go. I have to do this and that.
I'm wasting the day. I'm wasting my life."

Babe, listen to me for a second.

Sweetie, please, calm down. What is this?

- I made an activities list.
- What is this, a whistle?

A whistle for what?

In case we're somewhere
with a lot of people...

Are you serious?

It's already 7:30, babe. I swear, I...

Exactly, it's very early.
Would you relax, please?

He has this energy
and he can't help but rush everything.

I'm in a rush to live.

7:00, breakfast.

At 8:00, we go to the market.

At 8:30 or 9:00, we'll go to the mosque.

- What? Hold on. What?
- At 9:30, we'll go to the historic center.

He doesn't understand that the rest
of us have different rhythms.

Relax, babe,
or you're not going to enjoy this.

If you don't stop with the,

"At 7:00 this, at 8:00 that, at 9:00
I-don't-know-what. We're late,"

- you won't enjoy this.
- That's who I am.

No, you're not relaxed. Breathe.

Breathe in.

- I'm relaxed.
- No, breathe in.

- Breathe out.
- Don't whistle.

- Again, do it again.
- Don't whistle.

- Why did I give her that whistle?
- It was your idea. You brought a whistle.

Come here, baby.
Let's show Dad how to breathe.

Look how I do it.

Exactly. Breathe in.

- Breathe out. Breath in.
- Give me the whistle.

- That's right.
- Give it to me.

Oh, God.

Have you about maybe changing gears
and adapting to the others?

That's what I've been doing
since I met you!

The version of me that you know is
the held-back version for you.

Ask my kids if you don't believe me.

Poor ex-wives.

Oh, my God.

Listen, this is very important to me.

Because I want my family to connect.

That's why I put Vadhir
and José Eduardo together, for example,

so that they can live together,
and get to know each other more.

So they can connect
and be more involved with each other.

Okay, but part of connecting,
for all of us as a family,

and for them as brothers, and so on,

is being together
without so much activity.

No, know them, I know them.

It's a thousand times better
if we do activities.

This trip...

- Tell him, "Relax, daddy!"
- Hold on. Listen to me.

Ale, listen to me.
I want you to help me with this.

Alessandra.

My God.

I love it.

- Can we come in?
- Yeah, come on in.

Okay, move over a little.

Make some room for me.

You're over familiar.

There he goes.

I think the main obstacle
we're going to face is

that these children do not know
what privacy is,

and it feels like we're in the same room.

The sheets are really sticky,
but that's fine.

Hey!

Like, why are they getting into my bed
with my husband?

Mauricio very much enjoys
his time with men.

He told me on the downlow.
Just between us.

Why do you make up stuff?

- You always do that.
- He told me.

It's true. He whispered it in my ear.

My dad called José Eduardo,
but he didn't text him.

- Five times.
- He didn't tell you anything?

You know what he's like.
He's super obsessive. Super obsessive.

- Yeah, he's very intense.
- He's very intense?

He gets all, "We're going.

"No, we're not going.
No, you already told me..."

Hi, baby girl.

Were you guys able to sleep?

The jet lag is really strong.

- Who didn't let you sleep? Mauricio?
- Oh, my God.

You dog!

- Christening the room!
- You pervert!

- No.
- You stud.

I kept waking up all night.

That's not true.

No, well, I'm completely tired, drained.

The trip over was really long.

But the truth is...

- Kai behaved very well.
- Kai behaved incredibly well.

Like a champ.

- Yeah, like a champ.
- She really was.

But, yeah, we're jet-lagged.

Kai can't sleep.

What are we going to do?

We're dead tired. We haven't slept.

We're going crazy.

- Can we come in?
- Oh, no.

- Oh, no.
- Hello.

- Hi!
- Oh, no.

Oh, no!

I'm very excited because
today we're going to go out

and see Morocco.

I planned the trip
because I wanted us to connect more.

Exactly, I understand.

Remember, like when you were little?

Yeah, but you were a pain.

Exactly, so the idea is
that we do all of this today.

And every day I'm going to
give you an itinerary

I remember that one of my conditions
for coming on this trip

was that we would all be in control.

The Souk and the Medina.
Let's go. Come on.

And look at what's happening.

Get dressed. Ready.

Let's go. Kailani, hurry up!

Tell your parents to hurry.

I hate his rhythm.

Come on, Aitana.

You're going to have fun. Hurry up.

I understand that he wants us to see
everything, but take it down a notch.

Take it down five notches.

An hour and a half late.

Sit down, lady!

Like a knife!

And you hurry up too. For God's sake!

He always wants us to do exactly
what he wants,

when he wants, at the time that he wants.

I'm watching you!

- Damn.
- I'm watching you!

What's up with the creeping?

Get dressed!

He was so intense, trying to get us out
of the house, and he's always like that.

On all of our trips,
he can't stop controlling all of us.

Hurry up! I'm watching you both.

I just have to put my pants on.

If it wasn't for me pressuring them,

they would stay in the room all day.

Hurry up!

Listen to your dad.

See why I love him?

Thanks to me, we go out and explore.

Hurry up, run, run, run!

You're welcome.

Finally! God!

Give me that whistle.

We're going to the Medina.
That's what it's called.

I think that's where the surname
Medina comes from.

We're here.

I chose Morocco especially
because I wanted it to be different.

I wanted adventure.

Let's go over there.
Let's start over there.

Going to the Medina is a whole experience.

To be there in the market,
in the square...

It's really hard to explain.

Morocco has this feeling
of adventure, of mysticism.

Say hi.

What's going to happen?
What are we going to see?

Incredible.

And I like that.

Hey! One of those. I love those.

- This one looks cool.
- One for each of us.

- How much is it?
- Three hundred dirham.

- No!
- Dollars?

No, it's like 30 dollars.

I said "what"?

Two hundred and fifty.

Two hundred and fifty?

Two hundred, right?

But try it on first.
What if you don't even like it?

Why bother haggling?

Best price?

Two hundred and thirty.

Two hundred and thirty?

He's not even going to like it.

Hold this. You'll see.

Haggling is part of the culture here.

My dad's been haggling since we were born.

- He would even haggle with me.
- Even in malls.

Just listen to me!

Even in restaurants.

- People...
- You mean they like it when you haggle?

Yes, they do. It's part of their...

- I swear.
- They love it.

They love it when you lower the price,
when you pay less money.

The less you give them,
the happier they get.

Jesus!

Dad, what do you think?

It's too big, isn't it?

Come here, come.

T-shirt of Morocco.

My dad starts telling me
to make alterations.

Look, if you get it adjusted, like this,

then it would look nice.

Yeah.

Do you speak English?

It's clothes of Morocco.
It's not for women. It's for men.

The man is getting offended because
they want to make alterations to it.

It's tradition of Morocco,
like bigger size.

- Bigger?
- Yes, bigger.

- Okay.
- You know?

A little big.

So, how much, my friend?

Two hundred and fifty.

Two hundred and thirty. You said it.

My dad likes to haggle over everything.

I get very embarrassed when he haggles.

He says people here like it
when you haggle.

I don't think so.

You haggle over everything,
don't you, Dad?

Two hundred and forty.

- No. You said 230.
- Come on, Dad.

- Okay, 230.
- All right, 230.

Now with my traditional Moroccan shirt,
I feel good.

Different, without fear of success,

empowered and not corny.

Watch me go.

Look what I bought.

Yeah, baby.

They have some pretty shoes. Let's go see.

This young lady here keeps stopping
at every stall.

It turns out her dad is just like her,
and so are her brothers.

Look, those are great.

It's complicated to play.
Like this. It's like a tambourine.

What's the lowest price for two?

Look at me, babe.

Maybe not?

Because he has an athletic body,
but I don't.

How much for this chest?

- Five hundred euros.
- Damn.

Why go into a furniture store
if you're not going to buy furniture?

- They're really nice.
- You can't take it back to Mexico.

This tea is an aphrodisiac, right?

You put it in water,
boil five minutes, then drink.

Samba ramba all night.

Really?

Samba ramba all night long.

Hey, let's go already.
We've been here too long.

It's because they stop at every stall.
And they do the same thing.

No, it's too expensive. Too expensive.

- They don't even buy anything.
- So?

Keep it for me here.

I'll come back.

Babe,

you're carrying the backpack,
carrying Kai,

aren't you hurting your back?

- Someone has to carry it.
- But...

- While you shop.
- Oh, God.

Take a picture of me.

- Whatever you want.
- I'll stand right there.

Here, with this background,
take the ceiling as well.

Take a picture like that. Come on.

Okay. I'll stand over here.

One, two, three.

Again.

- Click.
- Those poses!

Your pictures... What the hell?

I mean, no one poses like that.
It's like...

With his mouth like...

Click!

- No!
- Come see this, handsome.

- My God, those pictures are ridiculous.
- With glasses.

That's how you get likes, Dad.

That's how you get likes.

Instead of being squared up like this,
looking all big,

just turn your head a little,
three quarters, like that.

That's it. There it is, look how...

Do I make a duck's face?

No, that's more 2000s. You know?

Go for it. There, hit it.

That's it.

Look how beautiful.

Hey, I want some incense.

- Incense?
- To clean the energy in the room.

Which is the best incense?

Dude, give us your best incense!

Amber.

- The most expensive one you have!
- The most awesome.

I love everything about herbs, smells,

all these kinds of natural remedies,
natural things.

They have a variety
of interesting things and herbs

that you can't find anywhere else.

What are they going to show us?
Let's go. Come, Mau.

Yes, sir.

All right, come here.

It's bad to be in a hurry,
and it's worse to be overly calm.

Let's see. Spread out, make some room.

Seeds of a flower called Nigella.

Slowly. Breathe, sir.

Did it go in, brother?

No, pass it.

- Pass it.
- Pass it to us.

Isn't that for everyone?

- Oh, my God.
- It's good for everybody.

You won't feel sad.

Hold on.

Oh, my God.

It's like we're getting high
on drugs right now.

My head is burning.

I don't know what's going on.
It's a very psychotropic moment.

Very psychedelic, brother.

I could get used to this.

I'm seeing fairies and elves!

All right, hold her.

Shake her head.

It's strong, isn't it?

- It's so weird.
- Welcome.

It stings and it's like...
And then suddenly, "whoa!"

- What do you see?
- Now he's good.

Chameleons, manta rays?

It wasn't the best experience for me.

It's huge.

You have to see all the Medina, right?
That's the idea, anyway.

- We're lost, aren't we?
- Yeah.

What you see here is totally crazy.

Just look at that truck full of chickens.

And these motorcycles...
We almost got run over.

And the traffic. There's a lot of traffic.

It's very stressful because it's narrow...

Watch out for the Uber.

...and lot of things are happening
around you.

Oh, dude! We're going to get run over.

So there comes a point
where you're just like,

"Please, let's go already."

Some sunlight.

So we decided to leave the market.

So I finally see the sunlight,
and I'm like, "Thank God.

"There's more air and more space here."

Where to? Let's see...

And, all of a sudden,

we see the infamous snakes.

Aitana, honey, don't get close.

- It's okay, babe.
- It's not okay.

- No.
- It's okay.

- It's okay.
- No, it's not okay, babe.

- It's okay.
- It's not okay.

My God.

Just let her touch one.

Definitely not!

My God.

Cobras! Like this! And like this!

Look! Come!

No, don't let Aitana get close, please.

But why? It was a snake charmer!

Had you ever, in your life,
in all your years,

the very few years you have lived,

barely any,

had you ever seen a snake charmer?

No.

Neither had I!
That's what I mean! They're charming.

Eugenio!

Don't!

Eugenio!

Don't!

Oh, my God!

Eugenio! Please, don't do it!

It's not like they're going
to jump at you.

How do you know?

Do you know those cobras?
Do you handle cobras?

- Do you know how they'll react?
- No.

- Do you know how far away they can bite?
- No.

Do you know if it's 20 centimeters
or two meters?

For God's sake.

What the hell is wrong with your dad?

See? It tries to bite.

Eugenio loves adventure,
challenges, danger,

but sometimes he goes too far.

Eugenio!

He doesn't notice.
He just doesn't realize.

He's crazy.

There's no need to take the risk.
We just wanted to watch.

Look at him!

He took it.

No way!

Eugenio is holding it.

What?

For me, to see Eugenio with the cobra,
with the viper, it...

You're scared of snakes. Admit it.

- Yeah, well...
- They freak you out.

Snakes freak me out, but I was also afraid

because I've seen videos
of these snake charmers

being bitten by the snake,

- and they've died.
- It's on YouTube.

I don't even want to move.

Eugenio, what are you doing? You're crazy.

That's it. Let's go.

Come on, let's go.

If this is his idea of fun, if he's going
to keep this up the rest of the trip,

I'm ready to pack up and fly home.

It's not... It's not cool.

- Relax, babe.
- No, I'm not going to relax.

- The horses are over there!
- But why...

- Why are you mad?
- Because it's irresponsible!

Mommy, there they are!

What's irresponsible?

For you to do that!
First you put yourself in danger,

then you let Aitana get close.
What's wrong with you?

Besides, you say you're for animal rights
and against the mistreatment of animals,

what do you call that?

I want to go, for real.

All right, calm down, babe.

In the end, it's a show
where they're using animals,

and I've always been
against the use of animals in shows.

In the moment, I didn't think about it,
I got carried away,

and I was part of something that
I've always been so strongly against.

Please, let Aitana go see the horses.

I'm on it. That's what I'm trying
to organize. Let's see.

Dad, this is too much for the baby.

- I want to leave, too.
- No, hold on.

I wanted all of us
to go eat somewhere together.

It's the best restaurant in Morocco.

The baby needs to sleep.
She's on a schedule.

She's not sleeping at night.
I'm not going to stay.

She needs a bath and go to sleep
at 7:00, and it's almost 7:00.

That's why I wanted to leave
the hotel earlier.

Yes, too bad. That's what happens.

You have to understand
that we're with a little girl.

- I know.
- With two. Two girls.

And this is too much for the kids.

- And it's not safe for kids.
- And it's not safe at all for kids.

It's not nice.

I know it's not Miami Beach,

but you have to understand
that we're in Morocco. We came for this.

Yes, Dad, but you need to understand
that we have to balance things.

It's okay for a little while,
but a whole day of activities

that aren't even kid-friendly
is not cool, Dad.

I want to see the horses!

We're going to see the horses.

This was basically my childhood.

My dad doesn't care
what the rest of us want or think.

He takes us straight
to whatever he thinks is right.

Doesn't matter if it's good,
bad, dangerous, whatever.

He likes to be in control.

- All right, whatever you want.
- We're going now.

I want to go too. I'm coming with you.

- Mommy. Daddy?
- And what do you want to do?

Well, if...

I'm leaving, too.

- Maybe it wasn't a good idea.
- It's not cool

that everyone's arguing.

and to be in this kind of situation,
it's really uncomfortable for us too.

That you're arguing about these things,
that you're fighting, it's not cool.

- I know.
- I'm not having a good time.

Okay, go with José Eduardo.
I'll catch up with you.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea
to come to Morocco.

Well, it doesn't matter, we're here now.

And just like that,

this family outing
that I thought was going to be marvelous,

that we would all be together, united,

having fun, turned into the opposite.

It became a nightmare.

I'm not mad. I feel sad.

Because, in the end,

I was alone,

there, in Morocco.

Surrounded by a lot of people, but alone.

Look, it's Papa Smurf. Papa Smurf!

ON THE NEXT EPISODE

Oh, boy.

Right now, I do not want to die.

I honestly feel
like I'm falling apart.

I lost my girl.

Aitana!

I want to get out of these four walls.