Dawson's Creek (1998–2003): Season 6, Episode 5 - The Impostors - full transcript
Heather Tracy, Dawson's movie producer, arrives on the set and threats to shut down production on the film if the lead, Natasha, isn't replaced. The egotistical Todd doesn't do much to save her job and it's up to Dawson to keep the film from being canceled altogether. Back at Worthington University, Eddie has an argument with Professor Hetson over him criticizing Joey's presentation and he storms out of the class. Joey leaves after him, and then she discovers he's not a student after all. Meanwhile, Emma asks Audrey to be the new lead singer of her all-girl punk rock band, Hells Belles, which will perform at Hell's Kitchen. But Pacey continues working late hours and misses Audrey's debut performance. Also, Jack confronts Professor Freeman after he gives Jack's paper a C- which Jack thinks was the result of an argument the previous day.
Help?
He might notice you faster if you let me
do a little work on that T-shirt of yours.
A few rips, a few tears.
-Do wonders for your tips.
-My what?
Your tips. Your gratuities.
-What did you think l said?
-Nothing.
-Yes.
-Oh, finally.
Could you make me wait
a little longer the next time?
Sorry, l guess l find you
a little intimidating...
...now you've tried
to ram your tongue down my throat.
l need two drafts, a boilermaker, and
we agreed to never speak of that again.
-l don't remember that conversation.
-lt was implied.
Social conventions dictate that when
something embarrassing happens...
...we all tacitly agree
to never speak of them again.
lt's what keeps us going as a society.
That and alcohol.
-Yeah, well, l don't.
-You don't what?
Don't agree.
l really don't feel like getting into
a philosophical discussion about this.
-l just would like you to maybe--
-Oh, good God.
You two aren't fighting again,
are you?
No, no. Apparently we're having
some kind of philosophical discussion.
Oh, good. Because l'm leaving.
Off to rehearsal, where l hopefully
still have a few band members left...
...to fire before our big Hell's Kitchen
debut performance tomorrow night.
lf you want me to put up
some of those flyers for you, l can.
Oh, you are a love, aren't you?
lt's getting
a bit crowded back there...
...so if you two could kiss and make up,
the customers would appreciate it.
-You told her.
-Coincidence.
-What? Why would l tell her?
-To embarrass me.
Oh, now, you're doing a pretty good job
of that all by yourself.
Has anybody told you
how pretty you are?
l think l have about 5000 times.
-Hey.
-Hi.
You know what? lt's getting late.
l should get to bed.
Big day tomorrow.
Not to worry.
You'll be great, luv.
lf you weren't such a disaster
with women...
...you might be sneaking off
to join her right now.
-Well, carry on.
-Hold on.
You're not getting rid of me
that fast.
As l suspected, you are not here to
participate in the general debauchery.
You're here to bore me
with little work-related details.
People want to know
what plan B is for Friday.
Tell them there is no plan B.
You gotta call Heather Tracy back.
She's called six times in two days.
Leery, your inability to relax
disturbs me.
We're three days behind,
gone into penalties every day.
We got a monster day tomorrow,
no shot list...
...a 7 0 percent chance of rain on Friday,
and no plan B. How is that no worries?
Three days? l thought it was four.
Heather.
Todd. Don't look so surprised.
This is what you get
for not returning my phone calls.
No. lt's lovely.
lt's lovely to see you.
-Do you remember Dawson?
-We can B.S. the pleasantries later.
Right now l'm gonna need you
to get me a better room.
The girl at the front desk
said it's impossible...
...but l'm sure you can work
your little PA magic.
-What?
-Nothing.
-ls it good?
-ls what good?
The book.
Honey, it's required.
How can it be good?
Well, it's just the first book
that l've seen you crack all semester.
Does she actually drink
this green stuff?
-Hey, Audrey.
-What?
-Well, l'm trying to talk to you.
-Okay, l'm listening.
Great. Then maybe you can tell me
what's been bothering you all week.
Nothing is bothering me.
Really?
Because you've been acting
a little weird.
Okay, Pacey. Define ''weird.''
Fine. ''Weird'' is studious.
''Weird'' is quiet.
What, so l act like Joey for a change,
and all of a sudden l'm weird?
Okay, fine. l just want to know
if perhaps you and Jen...
...got into a little bit of trouble
at that party.
No. You know what? That girl's not
even on a first-name basis with trouble.
Jack and l were talking,
and he said that he lost you...
-...and he was a little worried--
-lt was crowded...
...and Jen ran into somebody
that she knew.
Oh, really?
-A guy?
-Yes. A nice guy.
A regular knight in shining armour.
Yeah, l'm sure he was.
Just like me, right?
Yes, honey.
Just like you.
You know, funny thing.
We are all alone here tonight.
Yeah. l'm sorry.
-No, it's just l'm really tired and--
-Yeah, of course. Tired.
-No, because we could--
-No.
l'm only-- lt's all right.
Just. No. l'm just....
lt's fine.
Pacey.
-Pacey!
-Yes. What? l didn't do it.
You stayed up again all last night,
haven't you?
-Yes.
-And you finished all the coffee.
No.
Okay, yes. But there's more.
We have plenty.
And you know, it's strange.
They say it's hard to stay up
all night. lt's not.
lt's that hour from 4 to 5
that gets you.
But you'd be amazed
what your mind retains.
l know all about market options, equity
accounts, nonconvertible bonds--
-Pacey!
-Yes?
-Coffee!
-l got it.
That's not your bloody girlfriend
in the shower again, is it?
Nope. That's Jack.
And do you know how long
she's gonna be in there?
That depends, really,
on how big a water tank you have.
-Didn't we talk about this?
-Yes, we did.
-She's here all the time.
-Yes, she is.
You know a great idea?
lf the two of you would discuss this,
and then l'll go to work...
...and you tell me how it works out.
Okay. Bye-bye. Have a good day. Bye.
Audrey.
-Hey, so what happened?
-When?
-At the party after we lost you.
-Where'd you guys go, anyway?
-Nowhere.
-Yeah, right.
Look, don't change the subject on me.
l want the details.
Look, nothing happened.
What could happen?
The guy's straight.
Even if he woke up one morning
and was suddenly gay...
...it's not like l would actually
get involved with the guy. Come on.
-You wouldn't?
-No. God, no.
Greetings, everyone. Sorry l'm late.
But l see exhibits A, B, C,
and D have arrived...
...by which l mean
my teaching assistants...
...who may now begin the arduous task
of handing you back your papers.
Unless you'd prefer to sit here
for 50 minutes staring at them...
...while l drone on about
representations of the single father...
...in pre- and post-Vietnam
American television.
No? No, l didn't think so.
These papers represent
20 percent of your grade...
...most of which were graded
by the TAs, of course.
But l did review
all the grades myself...
...and l am prepared to deal with
any sob stories coming my way.
-Just please keep in mind...
-Yay.
...this isn't the first time l've heard
how a B plus ruins...
-Turn it over.
-...you getting into a decent law school.
Should've kept walking.
-Here. Let me.
-Nope. l got it.
-Just trying to be nice.
-Well, don't.
-l liked you better when you were surly.
-l am not--
Look, l think that we have both
been acting...
...a little immature since the incident.
l've been acting immature?
-l know that l have.
-Don't do that.
Don't back down. lf you do that in class
today, Hetson's gonna eat you alive.
l see. And when will you be gracing us
with your in-class presentation?
You know, if you think l'm being a jerk,
just tell me.
How is that gonna help us
get along better?
lt's not, but let's not pretend things
are all nice when they're not.
-They're not?
-No.
The '' incident,''
as you so clinically refer to it...
...was you kissing me on the mouth...
...with some sort of twisted intent
we've yet to clarify.
Agreeable, yes, but hardly nice.
What, so now we have to get into
some sort of semantic argument?
-So you coming or what?
-What, to the library?
-That's where we're headed.
-Where you were headed.
lf you're still feeling nice, you might
wanna hang some of these up in there.
Yeah, well, he wants a new DP,
and he wants him now.
lt's not even noon, and she's already
fired people on three continents.
-A three-egg omelette?
-One egg, two egg whites.
Let's do it.
Yeah? Well, if l knew that,
then l'd be the assistant.
Listen, sweetie, l gotta go.
-Breakfast is served.
-l'm not gonna beat around the bush.
As your little friend here
pointed out last night...
...you're way behind schedule
and way over budget...
...both of which we could live with
if the footage were a dream.
But we hate the girl.
-Natasha?
-Natasha, Natalie, Nadia, whatever.
The one with the nice rack.
l know you said you could work with her,
but we figure we shut down, we recast--
Hold on a bloody minute here.
She may have been a bit unprepared,
but you don't shut down a production--
She can do this job.
For a horror movie to work, the
heroine's gotta be sexy and intelligent.
-Natasha is that girl.
-Why do l care what he thinks?
He is the target demographic.
Show her some cut footage. We can
put some together by this afternoon.
You really think
that's gonna change my mind?
Couldn't hurt.
Yeah?
Okay, well, this has gotta be
some kind of mistake.
l mean, mine's higher than yours.
-Looks that way.
-And you've actually been...
-...working hard all semester.
-Well, apparently not hard enough.
Real nice work.
Don't tell me,
another unsatisfied customer.
l just had a question about my grade.
C minus seems a little low for a paper
that you enjoyed.
-l said that, did l?
-Yeah, you did the other night.
Of course. What l meant was
l really enjoyed the content.
Your grasp of structure, on the
other hand, is quite rudimentary.
l can recommend a few books
that might help.
However, l do have another class
l need to get to right now.
Yeah, sure.
You know, a C minus
really isn't all that bad, Jack.
You told me yourself
you weren't a very motivated student.
Well, l guess l thought
l was doing better this term.
Well, maybe your expectations
were too high.
Slower.
Slower.
-Daryl, you deaf shagwit. Cut!
-Cut on rehearsal.
Can someone find
Leery for me, please?
Sure.
Right here.
-So is she gone?
-She left 1 5 minutes ago...
...with directions to the gym.
Meet with her and the editor at lunch.
Hair and makeup's done with Natasha.
We're just waiting on camera.
Excellent. Just the chance
l've been waiting for.
What are you gonna do?
What do you think l'm gonna do?
-Favourite part of the job.
-You don't mean that.
Course l do.
Nothing's as fun as explaining to the
overpaid hairdos they're replaceable.
-l thought you liked her.
-l do.
Not as much as you do, which may be
clouding your judgment on this matter.
How is yelling at her gonna help?
You destroy her confidence,
the day's not gonna go any faster.
Let me let you in
on a little secret.
Two-bit horrors that get shut down
one week into production...
...don't always get started up again.
As someone who works for me,
my employment might interest you.
-So you'd fire her just like that.
-lf it's a choice between her and me.
That'd be dead easy now, wouldn't it?
Todd, they need you at camera.
This discussion is not over.
Excuse me.
l thought l had five minutes.
Sorry.
Black bra, white shirt.
Never a good idea.
So...
...l heard Todd
wants to talk with me.
Yeah. lt's about this shot.
-What, it's complicated?
-Well, he likes to move the camera.
Yeah, so l noticed.
So...
...who's that woman
you guys were talking to?
She's the executive
in charge of production.
She's worried about all the overtime.
Cool.
ls something wrong, Dawson?
No, nothing other than you
being naked when l walked in.
Such a prude.
lf we work together, you're gonna
have to get over things like that.
All right. You have to learn how
to not leave every room l walk into.
Okay, so we both have room
for improvement.
l know l'm in the doghouse.
What makes you think that?
Look.
Todd's not the best communicator,
and he's not a touchy-feely guy.
A girl can just tell.
That's why l really need to nail
this big scene tonight.
Help me?
My best friend's dying,
and l don't know what to be thinking.
Don't think.
Your friend's dying.
What you gonna do?
l don't know.
-Save her? Comfort her?
-And if that doesn't work?
-Save myself?
-Exactly. Don't think.
Just act. Just--
When Todd asks you to jump--
-Ask how high.
-And how far.
Always be aware where the camera is.
That's how you communicate with him.
You really think that's gonna work?
They're ready for you, Natasha.
l guarantee it.
Thank you.
You're kidding me, right?
Stan, look, l'm as risk-averse as
the next guy, but you're just quitting.
You're not keeping up
with inflation...
...and, Stan, all l'm asking for
is a hint of your interest, and l will--
l'm gonna have to call back...
...but l'll be in touch, because
this is gonna be a hot issue.
There you are. Finally.
That mean receptionist--
Audrey, what are you doing here?
No hello? No smooch?
l'm telling you it took forever to--
Honey. We can't do this here.
-Get a room, Witter.
-That's a great idea. Thanks for the tip.
-Okay, let's go to the conference room.
-Bye, everyone.
Audrey, you really can't
just pop in like this.
Well, what am l supposed
to do, Pacey?
-You won't take any of my phone calls.
-Because l'm at work.
When l'm at work, l'm on the phone,
which makes it difficult to take calls.
l shouldn't be in here right now.
l should be outside--
On the phone. l get it.
Okay, please don't be mad at me.
Please? Please?
The best thing has happened, and l
wouldn't have come if it weren't major.
-How major?
-Emma has asked me to be in her band.
Me. For real. l mean, well,
it's sort of on a trial basis...
...because she still can't stand me and
thinks l ate all of her basmati rice...
...but we have been rehearsing all day.
We have a gig tonight at Hell's Kitchen.
-That's great.
-l know. Which is why l had to come...
...and coerce you into
coming out this evening.
Honey, l need you there.
lt's kind of like my audition...
...and Emma is a temperamental control
freak when it comes to her band.
-Say no more.
-You'll come?
-l will. Just so long as you--
-l'm leaving.
Okay.
Bye.
The games continue,
and, of course...
...culminate in the explanation
of the cryptogrammic paper.
Stop. l'm so bored,
l'm losing my pulse here, Potter.
When Humbert gets
that urgent phone call...
...he returns to find Lolita doing what
with the likes of Clare Quilty?
-Playing tennis.
-What kind of tennis?
Good tennis?
Potter. Oh, you disappoint me.
How are we ever gonna learn when the
person teaching hasn't read the book?
Somebody?
Anybody?
Eddie.
Of course, Eddie.
Eddie always knows. l mean,
rarely volunteers, but always knows.
So please, enlighten us.
-Doubles.
-Told you. Always knows.
And thank God he's here to pick up
the slack for Miss Potter...
...who may now return to boring us.
Maybe if you laid off her
for two seconds...
...she might not be so nervous.
What was that? A little criticism
of my teaching techniques?
Because l have to say l've always
considered myself lenient.
Pretty willing to overlook
certain things...
...that more traditional, by-the-book
teachers might not appreciate.
Whatever.
Oh, you don't agree?
l'm ready to make this
a larger discussion any time you are.
ln fact, l've been ready
for weeks now.
Am l teaching here or what? Because
the doubles thing is very important.
l know. That's why l brought it up.
l'll give you a chance
to redeem yourself.
Circa 1 940, a well-known
Russian ?migr? writer...
...named Vladimir Sirin
ceases to exist. Why?
S-l-R-l-N.
No idea?
You should ask your
always-better-prepared doppelg?nger.
-Eddie.
-He never existed in the first place.
Never existed?
You mean he was a shadow? A shade?
A double, perhaps? Someone passing
himself off as someone else?
You could say that,
or say it was a pen name.
You could, but a secret identity,
nonetheless.
l'm sorry. This seems
a little off-topic for you?
No, l'm just saying l get the point.
-But do the rest of them?
-Do they need to?
You tell me.
Personally, l think
the question is moot.
But if it really bothers you
that much, l'll go.
Don't just stand there, Potter.
Carry on.
ln a minute.
-Did you just say what l think you said?
-Yes.
Hey, wait up.
-Are you leaving too?
-No, you're coming back.
l don't know what just happened,
but you can't back down--
You're right. You don't know
what just happened...
...so maybe the best thing for you to do
is just mind your own damn business.
lf he's not here, he must not
be working tonight.
-He works every night.
-Well, not this one.
Well, you wouldn't happen to know
where he lives, do you?
A flat somewhere.
Take you, like, two hours to get there
on public transport.
-You mean he doesn't live on campus?
-Which one?
-Worthington?
-Why would he live...
...on the Worthington campus?
No reason.
You didn't think he was a student,
did you? l mean, l know he reads a lot.
He does. You don't think they'd have
his address on file in the back, do you?
Probably.
Thanks. And l'll be back to close,
and good luck tonight with the gig.
Thank you. Got a bit of a surprise
for you, actually.
Really.
-Somebody, please help me!
-l can't talk right now.
Well, that constitutes improvement.
Adequate instead of abysmal.
-That's not fair.
-Get me Chatsworth.
l mean, come on.
ls she supposed to be looking down,
or does she just not know her marks?
New York, L.A., l don't care.
-She barely watched it.
-l can see that.
But exactly whose job
are you trying to save here?
Everyone's. The worst possible thing
is that you get shut down.
Get her to watch it again. Highlight
Natasha's strengths, not weaknesses.
Use that close-up.
And change that music.
Do it. Fast.
And you stay here.
What's needed now
is cool professionalism.
-Right.
-Please help me.
-All right.
-Help me.
Fine. l'll hold.
Heather, luv. How about
we discuss this rationally...
...before you throw out
several thousand feet of film?
Rational? Like the time you took me
to Bermuda with you...
...and dumped me
for an exotic dance instructor?
No reason to get personal.
You're engaged, l'm--
Working on a film
that's about to be shut down...
...by me and quite possibly
never started up again. Still holding.
You signed off on this girl,
did you not?
lt wasn't some other Prada-wearing
nightmare l accidentally shagged!
l signed off on her because l thought
you could get a performance out of her.
-He did. You just haven't seen it yet.
-Scott?
Somebody, please help me!
Somebody!
Help me! Somebody!
Somebody, help me! Please, please.
Somebody, please help me!
Better, no?
Before it was all about the location.
Now we're alone with her and her fear.
What do you think?
Your job could be
on the line here too, you know.
Well, l think your little friend here
makes a good point.
Come on.
Jack. Sorry, l didn't know
anybody else was out there.
Yeah. Must take a while to get
to the end of all your adoring fans.
So, what can l help you with?
l've been thinking about this all day.
One thing l gotta ask about this paper.
Sure.
lf l hadn't been so shocked about
what you said to me the other night...
...would this C minus
have been any higher?
Low blow.
Yeah. l'm just trying
to make an informed decision.
And if that's what it's all about,
ask me again, l might say yes this time.
l don't know what to say. Sometimes
people read too much into things.
How about too little?
l'm willing to go--
l get it. l get your point.
lt's one thing to be
some scared teenager...
...afraid of his friends, his family...
...afraid of what everybody he meets
might say about him.
l can forgive that.
Hell, l can expect that.
But you, you're an adult.
Somebody's married to you. You're
ruining lives on a much larger scale.
What can l say?
Not everyone's willing to make
sacrifices for some political agenda.
Not everybody's willing to spend their
lives being part of a despised minority.
Yeah.
Well, if that's true...
...then maybe you should ask yourself
who's doing the despising.
So you checked.
He's out there, right?
Well, l'm not exactly sure.
lt's kind of too crowded to tell.
-How crowded?
-Way crowded.
Why? You okay?
You're not scared?
No! God, no. Why would l be scared?
l don't know.
You just seem sort of tense.
-l'm fine.
-Hey.
-About the other night.
-What other night?
When we got really drunk.
You know what? To be honest-to-God
truthful with you, Jen...
...l don't really remember
that at all so--
Okay, ladies, enough checking
your makeup.
l think the crowd's
suitably drunk by now.
Does that mean that we're on?
lt does.
-The piercings are a nice touch.
-Thank you.
-Screw this up, and l'll kill you.
-Okay. Sure.
Hey, everybody.
We're the Hell's Belles, and we thought
we'd play a few songs for you now.
You know, something soothing,
something relaxing, something....
What the hell you doing here?
-You scared me.
-Yeah, obviously.
l asked you a question.
l just wanted to talk to you
about what happened in class.
Yeah, well, since l'm not really
in that class anymore--
Look, l know. l get it, okay?
l get that you're not really a student.
-You get that, do you?
-Yeah. l don't really get...
...what it was all for, but....
l've come a long way. Maybe you could
give me a glass of water or something?
So my presentation actually
went okay after you left.
-l mean, l went in there, and l--
-Congratulations, Joey.
l'm happy for you.
l'm sure you're seconds away from
breaking Hetson's crusty exterior...
...earning his undying respect,
and graduating magna cum laude.
Or save yourself a lot of trouble
and sleep with the man.
ls it just me, or do you react this nicely
to everyone trying to help you?
-What? No response?
-You have to give me a second here.
l'm still trying to process
the condescending notion...
...that help is actually required.
You don't think it's possible
l could understand?
No, l don't.
l'm sorry l didn't turn out to be who
you thought l was, but you know what?
Probably not too wise to invest
that much in people you barely know.
-Oh, l haven't invested anything in you.
-Oh, yeah?
Then why are you here?
lt seems that you're wasting valuable
time better spent trying to get back...
...with that preppy boyfriend of yours,
if he'll have you.
Remember when you told me
to tell you when you're a jerk?
Yeah. You could have saved yourself
a lot of trouble by just calling first.
l guess it didn't seem
like trouble at the time.
Oh, my God, that was amazing!
-Yeah, well, it didn't suck!
-Oh, come on.
lt worked. They loved us.
Admit it. They loved us.
All right. Yeah, they loved us.
-Honey, you made it!
-l didn't see the whole thing...
-...but you were great.
-More than great. Amazing.
See? Do you see that?
We were amazing.
Where's Pacey?
Heather, there's someone
l'd like you to meet.
Natasha, this is Heather Tracy
from the studio.
-Hi.
-Oh, my God.
lt is so great to finally meet you.
You have amazing skin.
-Thanks.
-Such a total pro.
We are so happy
to have you on our team.
Great job in the scene tonight,
by the way.
Thanks. l decided
not to think tonight.
-Heather, shall we?
-Goody. l can hardly wait.
See you kids later.
-She hates me, right?
-l wouldn't say that.
lt's not a good sign
when the director leaves at lunch...
...with someone who's
just arrived from L.A.
What'd you guys do,
go shoe shopping?
-Start auditioning my replacement?
-The first one.
You're not a good liar, Dawson.
ln fact, you're a spectacularly bad liar.
Come on. You can be honest with me.
-l got this job on a fluke.
-You got it because you're the best...
-...for the part. Tremendously talented.
-Yeah, right.
Or maybe just
tremendously lucky.
l think everyone feels that way
about success.
That is, everyone with a soul.
And you've still got one, right?
l think so.
l think that may be why
we ended up together, you and me.
When we met at that party...
...l was pretty down on myself.
l thought maybe l was an idiot...
...for trying to do this thing...
...and that l should just give up,
and, l don't know...
...be a kindergarten teacher
like my mom tells me.
-A kindergarten teacher?
-Yeah.
There's a lot she doesn't know
about my teen years.
Anyway, l remember thinking...
...if one more working actor
sits next to me...
...and starts complaining about his life,
l will scream.
Get up out of this chair and run
screaming to California Pizza Kitchen...
...quit my job, and move home.
And then you came over.
Why did you do that, anyway?
Honestly?
You were the only hot girl who looked
like she'd read a book in her life.
And you knew then
l was right for this part.
After l talked to you, yeah.
So you weren't just chatting me up?
-l was chatting you up.
-You were?
l figured telling you about
a big audition couldn't hurt.
Yeah. Then l nailed it.
l still can't believe it.
God, that was a great day.
lt felt like my luck
was finally changing.
-lt has.
-Yes, it has.
Well, l should go get changed.
All right.
But maybe tonight at the bar,
we could...
...l don't know, play some air hockey
or throw some darts.
l'd like that.
Me too.
lt rocks that the bar's
across the street.
lt simplifies things a bit, actually.
-l really should thank you.
-What for?
For taking a chance on me
and all that crap.
Can't really mess up punk rock
all that bad.
But still, it was important to you,
and you trusted me, and....
Let's not hug. Your pig of a boyfriend's
likely to enjoy that.
He would, actually.
Oh, dear.
Poor sot.
He stayed up all last night. Should
have known he was gonna crash.
Oh, well. See you tomorrow.
Good night.
Good night.
Hey.
Oh, crap. l missed it, didn't l?
-Yeah.
-l came in to change my clothes...
-...and l meant to just--
-You didn't get very far, did you?
Okay. Tell me how
l can make this up to you.
Please. Whatever you want.
l am completely, totally, utterly yours,
at your service.
l know it's kind of late
and everything...
...but do you think you could
just drive me home?
-Yeah, sure. Of course.
-l just kind of want to sleep...
-...in my own bed tonight.
-Absolutely. Not a problem.
Okay. l'm gonna go get my stuff.
Okay. l'll be-- l'll just wait here.
What are you doing here?
l knew you were closing,
could use help.
ln what way could you
possibly help?
All right. That was fair.
Not to mention how condescending.
The assumption l actually need help.
Okay, l get it.
Are you done yet?
Only for the time being.
lt was an accident, okay?
The first time l did it.
How do you accidentally sit in on
a class and pretend to be a student?
Well, l'm on my lunch hour,
l'm sitting under some tree...
...and this grad student comes over
with his whole section...
...of Great Books 1 -0-- Whatever.
And they start talking
about Shakespeare.
And you just happened
to be reading it?
No, l was reading Moby Dick.
Later, l read Shakespeare.
-All of it?
-No sense in doing things halfway.
l see. And since it was so easy,
you just kept doing it.
lt prevents me from deliberately
stepping into the street...
...and methodically
knocking people's hats off.
Moby Dick, right?
Hey, maybe you're not as dumb
as Hetson thinks you are.
We'll see. Look.
Contrary to what you might believe...
...l only came by your place tonight
to apologize.
l felt like it was kind of my fault
that you got caught today.
-How's that?
-Hetson wouldn't have singled you out...
-...if you weren't being so nice to me.
-Nice?
l was trying to be nice to you?
Yeah. lt seemed kind of obvious.
Wrong.
-Wrong?
-Yes. That wasn't me being nice.
That was me showing off.
You know, you disappoint me,
Potter.
-l do?
-Yes.
How are we supposed to
learn anything today, people?
You didn't do your groundwork,
did you?
No, l didn't.
No, you didn't.
What's this?
You left your paper
in my office yesterday.
ls this supposed to
make everything okay?
Maybe l did let my emotions affect
the way that l graded your paper.
-lf l did, that's inexcusable.
-l sense an excuse coming on here.
You have no idea, do you,
of how much the world has changed?
The world's changed because
people are willing to stand up...
...and be honest, not hide behind
things that are easier.
When l was growing up, when l was--
How did you put it?
--''a scared teenager,'' you didn't have
gay kids coming out on MTV.
And Jack Tripper was
the only gay man in America.
You think that's such a small thing,
such a minute cultural difference?
Maybe you really haven't been
paying attention in my class, Jack.
Just do me a favour,
have one of the TAs...
...grade my papers
from now on, please.
No problem.
Oh, nice. Little private
teacher conference.
What was that all about?
Just getting that thing
with my paper straightened out.
-Oh, yeah. ls it?
-Straight?
Yeah. Perfectly.
Come on.
He might notice you faster if you let me
do a little work on that T-shirt of yours.
A few rips, a few tears.
-Do wonders for your tips.
-My what?
Your tips. Your gratuities.
-What did you think l said?
-Nothing.
-Yes.
-Oh, finally.
Could you make me wait
a little longer the next time?
Sorry, l guess l find you
a little intimidating...
...now you've tried
to ram your tongue down my throat.
l need two drafts, a boilermaker, and
we agreed to never speak of that again.
-l don't remember that conversation.
-lt was implied.
Social conventions dictate that when
something embarrassing happens...
...we all tacitly agree
to never speak of them again.
lt's what keeps us going as a society.
That and alcohol.
-Yeah, well, l don't.
-You don't what?
Don't agree.
l really don't feel like getting into
a philosophical discussion about this.
-l just would like you to maybe--
-Oh, good God.
You two aren't fighting again,
are you?
No, no. Apparently we're having
some kind of philosophical discussion.
Oh, good. Because l'm leaving.
Off to rehearsal, where l hopefully
still have a few band members left...
...to fire before our big Hell's Kitchen
debut performance tomorrow night.
lf you want me to put up
some of those flyers for you, l can.
Oh, you are a love, aren't you?
lt's getting
a bit crowded back there...
...so if you two could kiss and make up,
the customers would appreciate it.
-You told her.
-Coincidence.
-What? Why would l tell her?
-To embarrass me.
Oh, now, you're doing a pretty good job
of that all by yourself.
Has anybody told you
how pretty you are?
l think l have about 5000 times.
-Hey.
-Hi.
You know what? lt's getting late.
l should get to bed.
Big day tomorrow.
Not to worry.
You'll be great, luv.
lf you weren't such a disaster
with women...
...you might be sneaking off
to join her right now.
-Well, carry on.
-Hold on.
You're not getting rid of me
that fast.
As l suspected, you are not here to
participate in the general debauchery.
You're here to bore me
with little work-related details.
People want to know
what plan B is for Friday.
Tell them there is no plan B.
You gotta call Heather Tracy back.
She's called six times in two days.
Leery, your inability to relax
disturbs me.
We're three days behind,
gone into penalties every day.
We got a monster day tomorrow,
no shot list...
...a 7 0 percent chance of rain on Friday,
and no plan B. How is that no worries?
Three days? l thought it was four.
Heather.
Todd. Don't look so surprised.
This is what you get
for not returning my phone calls.
No. lt's lovely.
lt's lovely to see you.
-Do you remember Dawson?
-We can B.S. the pleasantries later.
Right now l'm gonna need you
to get me a better room.
The girl at the front desk
said it's impossible...
...but l'm sure you can work
your little PA magic.
-What?
-Nothing.
-ls it good?
-ls what good?
The book.
Honey, it's required.
How can it be good?
Well, it's just the first book
that l've seen you crack all semester.
Does she actually drink
this green stuff?
-Hey, Audrey.
-What?
-Well, l'm trying to talk to you.
-Okay, l'm listening.
Great. Then maybe you can tell me
what's been bothering you all week.
Nothing is bothering me.
Really?
Because you've been acting
a little weird.
Okay, Pacey. Define ''weird.''
Fine. ''Weird'' is studious.
''Weird'' is quiet.
What, so l act like Joey for a change,
and all of a sudden l'm weird?
Okay, fine. l just want to know
if perhaps you and Jen...
...got into a little bit of trouble
at that party.
No. You know what? That girl's not
even on a first-name basis with trouble.
Jack and l were talking,
and he said that he lost you...
-...and he was a little worried--
-lt was crowded...
...and Jen ran into somebody
that she knew.
Oh, really?
-A guy?
-Yes. A nice guy.
A regular knight in shining armour.
Yeah, l'm sure he was.
Just like me, right?
Yes, honey.
Just like you.
You know, funny thing.
We are all alone here tonight.
Yeah. l'm sorry.
-No, it's just l'm really tired and--
-Yeah, of course. Tired.
-No, because we could--
-No.
l'm only-- lt's all right.
Just. No. l'm just....
lt's fine.
Pacey.
-Pacey!
-Yes. What? l didn't do it.
You stayed up again all last night,
haven't you?
-Yes.
-And you finished all the coffee.
No.
Okay, yes. But there's more.
We have plenty.
And you know, it's strange.
They say it's hard to stay up
all night. lt's not.
lt's that hour from 4 to 5
that gets you.
But you'd be amazed
what your mind retains.
l know all about market options, equity
accounts, nonconvertible bonds--
-Pacey!
-Yes?
-Coffee!
-l got it.
That's not your bloody girlfriend
in the shower again, is it?
Nope. That's Jack.
And do you know how long
she's gonna be in there?
That depends, really,
on how big a water tank you have.
-Didn't we talk about this?
-Yes, we did.
-She's here all the time.
-Yes, she is.
You know a great idea?
lf the two of you would discuss this,
and then l'll go to work...
...and you tell me how it works out.
Okay. Bye-bye. Have a good day. Bye.
Audrey.
-Hey, so what happened?
-When?
-At the party after we lost you.
-Where'd you guys go, anyway?
-Nowhere.
-Yeah, right.
Look, don't change the subject on me.
l want the details.
Look, nothing happened.
What could happen?
The guy's straight.
Even if he woke up one morning
and was suddenly gay...
...it's not like l would actually
get involved with the guy. Come on.
-You wouldn't?
-No. God, no.
Greetings, everyone. Sorry l'm late.
But l see exhibits A, B, C,
and D have arrived...
...by which l mean
my teaching assistants...
...who may now begin the arduous task
of handing you back your papers.
Unless you'd prefer to sit here
for 50 minutes staring at them...
...while l drone on about
representations of the single father...
...in pre- and post-Vietnam
American television.
No? No, l didn't think so.
These papers represent
20 percent of your grade...
...most of which were graded
by the TAs, of course.
But l did review
all the grades myself...
...and l am prepared to deal with
any sob stories coming my way.
-Just please keep in mind...
-Yay.
...this isn't the first time l've heard
how a B plus ruins...
-Turn it over.
-...you getting into a decent law school.
Should've kept walking.
-Here. Let me.
-Nope. l got it.
-Just trying to be nice.
-Well, don't.
-l liked you better when you were surly.
-l am not--
Look, l think that we have both
been acting...
...a little immature since the incident.
l've been acting immature?
-l know that l have.
-Don't do that.
Don't back down. lf you do that in class
today, Hetson's gonna eat you alive.
l see. And when will you be gracing us
with your in-class presentation?
You know, if you think l'm being a jerk,
just tell me.
How is that gonna help us
get along better?
lt's not, but let's not pretend things
are all nice when they're not.
-They're not?
-No.
The '' incident,''
as you so clinically refer to it...
...was you kissing me on the mouth...
...with some sort of twisted intent
we've yet to clarify.
Agreeable, yes, but hardly nice.
What, so now we have to get into
some sort of semantic argument?
-So you coming or what?
-What, to the library?
-That's where we're headed.
-Where you were headed.
lf you're still feeling nice, you might
wanna hang some of these up in there.
Yeah, well, he wants a new DP,
and he wants him now.
lt's not even noon, and she's already
fired people on three continents.
-A three-egg omelette?
-One egg, two egg whites.
Let's do it.
Yeah? Well, if l knew that,
then l'd be the assistant.
Listen, sweetie, l gotta go.
-Breakfast is served.
-l'm not gonna beat around the bush.
As your little friend here
pointed out last night...
...you're way behind schedule
and way over budget...
...both of which we could live with
if the footage were a dream.
But we hate the girl.
-Natasha?
-Natasha, Natalie, Nadia, whatever.
The one with the nice rack.
l know you said you could work with her,
but we figure we shut down, we recast--
Hold on a bloody minute here.
She may have been a bit unprepared,
but you don't shut down a production--
She can do this job.
For a horror movie to work, the
heroine's gotta be sexy and intelligent.
-Natasha is that girl.
-Why do l care what he thinks?
He is the target demographic.
Show her some cut footage. We can
put some together by this afternoon.
You really think
that's gonna change my mind?
Couldn't hurt.
Yeah?
Okay, well, this has gotta be
some kind of mistake.
l mean, mine's higher than yours.
-Looks that way.
-And you've actually been...
-...working hard all semester.
-Well, apparently not hard enough.
Real nice work.
Don't tell me,
another unsatisfied customer.
l just had a question about my grade.
C minus seems a little low for a paper
that you enjoyed.
-l said that, did l?
-Yeah, you did the other night.
Of course. What l meant was
l really enjoyed the content.
Your grasp of structure, on the
other hand, is quite rudimentary.
l can recommend a few books
that might help.
However, l do have another class
l need to get to right now.
Yeah, sure.
You know, a C minus
really isn't all that bad, Jack.
You told me yourself
you weren't a very motivated student.
Well, l guess l thought
l was doing better this term.
Well, maybe your expectations
were too high.
Slower.
Slower.
-Daryl, you deaf shagwit. Cut!
-Cut on rehearsal.
Can someone find
Leery for me, please?
Sure.
Right here.
-So is she gone?
-She left 1 5 minutes ago...
...with directions to the gym.
Meet with her and the editor at lunch.
Hair and makeup's done with Natasha.
We're just waiting on camera.
Excellent. Just the chance
l've been waiting for.
What are you gonna do?
What do you think l'm gonna do?
-Favourite part of the job.
-You don't mean that.
Course l do.
Nothing's as fun as explaining to the
overpaid hairdos they're replaceable.
-l thought you liked her.
-l do.
Not as much as you do, which may be
clouding your judgment on this matter.
How is yelling at her gonna help?
You destroy her confidence,
the day's not gonna go any faster.
Let me let you in
on a little secret.
Two-bit horrors that get shut down
one week into production...
...don't always get started up again.
As someone who works for me,
my employment might interest you.
-So you'd fire her just like that.
-lf it's a choice between her and me.
That'd be dead easy now, wouldn't it?
Todd, they need you at camera.
This discussion is not over.
Excuse me.
l thought l had five minutes.
Sorry.
Black bra, white shirt.
Never a good idea.
So...
...l heard Todd
wants to talk with me.
Yeah. lt's about this shot.
-What, it's complicated?
-Well, he likes to move the camera.
Yeah, so l noticed.
So...
...who's that woman
you guys were talking to?
She's the executive
in charge of production.
She's worried about all the overtime.
Cool.
ls something wrong, Dawson?
No, nothing other than you
being naked when l walked in.
Such a prude.
lf we work together, you're gonna
have to get over things like that.
All right. You have to learn how
to not leave every room l walk into.
Okay, so we both have room
for improvement.
l know l'm in the doghouse.
What makes you think that?
Look.
Todd's not the best communicator,
and he's not a touchy-feely guy.
A girl can just tell.
That's why l really need to nail
this big scene tonight.
Help me?
My best friend's dying,
and l don't know what to be thinking.
Don't think.
Your friend's dying.
What you gonna do?
l don't know.
-Save her? Comfort her?
-And if that doesn't work?
-Save myself?
-Exactly. Don't think.
Just act. Just--
When Todd asks you to jump--
-Ask how high.
-And how far.
Always be aware where the camera is.
That's how you communicate with him.
You really think that's gonna work?
They're ready for you, Natasha.
l guarantee it.
Thank you.
You're kidding me, right?
Stan, look, l'm as risk-averse as
the next guy, but you're just quitting.
You're not keeping up
with inflation...
...and, Stan, all l'm asking for
is a hint of your interest, and l will--
l'm gonna have to call back...
...but l'll be in touch, because
this is gonna be a hot issue.
There you are. Finally.
That mean receptionist--
Audrey, what are you doing here?
No hello? No smooch?
l'm telling you it took forever to--
Honey. We can't do this here.
-Get a room, Witter.
-That's a great idea. Thanks for the tip.
-Okay, let's go to the conference room.
-Bye, everyone.
Audrey, you really can't
just pop in like this.
Well, what am l supposed
to do, Pacey?
-You won't take any of my phone calls.
-Because l'm at work.
When l'm at work, l'm on the phone,
which makes it difficult to take calls.
l shouldn't be in here right now.
l should be outside--
On the phone. l get it.
Okay, please don't be mad at me.
Please? Please?
The best thing has happened, and l
wouldn't have come if it weren't major.
-How major?
-Emma has asked me to be in her band.
Me. For real. l mean, well,
it's sort of on a trial basis...
...because she still can't stand me and
thinks l ate all of her basmati rice...
...but we have been rehearsing all day.
We have a gig tonight at Hell's Kitchen.
-That's great.
-l know. Which is why l had to come...
...and coerce you into
coming out this evening.
Honey, l need you there.
lt's kind of like my audition...
...and Emma is a temperamental control
freak when it comes to her band.
-Say no more.
-You'll come?
-l will. Just so long as you--
-l'm leaving.
Okay.
Bye.
The games continue,
and, of course...
...culminate in the explanation
of the cryptogrammic paper.
Stop. l'm so bored,
l'm losing my pulse here, Potter.
When Humbert gets
that urgent phone call...
...he returns to find Lolita doing what
with the likes of Clare Quilty?
-Playing tennis.
-What kind of tennis?
Good tennis?
Potter. Oh, you disappoint me.
How are we ever gonna learn when the
person teaching hasn't read the book?
Somebody?
Anybody?
Eddie.
Of course, Eddie.
Eddie always knows. l mean,
rarely volunteers, but always knows.
So please, enlighten us.
-Doubles.
-Told you. Always knows.
And thank God he's here to pick up
the slack for Miss Potter...
...who may now return to boring us.
Maybe if you laid off her
for two seconds...
...she might not be so nervous.
What was that? A little criticism
of my teaching techniques?
Because l have to say l've always
considered myself lenient.
Pretty willing to overlook
certain things...
...that more traditional, by-the-book
teachers might not appreciate.
Whatever.
Oh, you don't agree?
l'm ready to make this
a larger discussion any time you are.
ln fact, l've been ready
for weeks now.
Am l teaching here or what? Because
the doubles thing is very important.
l know. That's why l brought it up.
l'll give you a chance
to redeem yourself.
Circa 1 940, a well-known
Russian ?migr? writer...
...named Vladimir Sirin
ceases to exist. Why?
S-l-R-l-N.
No idea?
You should ask your
always-better-prepared doppelg?nger.
-Eddie.
-He never existed in the first place.
Never existed?
You mean he was a shadow? A shade?
A double, perhaps? Someone passing
himself off as someone else?
You could say that,
or say it was a pen name.
You could, but a secret identity,
nonetheless.
l'm sorry. This seems
a little off-topic for you?
No, l'm just saying l get the point.
-But do the rest of them?
-Do they need to?
You tell me.
Personally, l think
the question is moot.
But if it really bothers you
that much, l'll go.
Don't just stand there, Potter.
Carry on.
ln a minute.
-Did you just say what l think you said?
-Yes.
Hey, wait up.
-Are you leaving too?
-No, you're coming back.
l don't know what just happened,
but you can't back down--
You're right. You don't know
what just happened...
...so maybe the best thing for you to do
is just mind your own damn business.
lf he's not here, he must not
be working tonight.
-He works every night.
-Well, not this one.
Well, you wouldn't happen to know
where he lives, do you?
A flat somewhere.
Take you, like, two hours to get there
on public transport.
-You mean he doesn't live on campus?
-Which one?
-Worthington?
-Why would he live...
...on the Worthington campus?
No reason.
You didn't think he was a student,
did you? l mean, l know he reads a lot.
He does. You don't think they'd have
his address on file in the back, do you?
Probably.
Thanks. And l'll be back to close,
and good luck tonight with the gig.
Thank you. Got a bit of a surprise
for you, actually.
Really.
-Somebody, please help me!
-l can't talk right now.
Well, that constitutes improvement.
Adequate instead of abysmal.
-That's not fair.
-Get me Chatsworth.
l mean, come on.
ls she supposed to be looking down,
or does she just not know her marks?
New York, L.A., l don't care.
-She barely watched it.
-l can see that.
But exactly whose job
are you trying to save here?
Everyone's. The worst possible thing
is that you get shut down.
Get her to watch it again. Highlight
Natasha's strengths, not weaknesses.
Use that close-up.
And change that music.
Do it. Fast.
And you stay here.
What's needed now
is cool professionalism.
-Right.
-Please help me.
-All right.
-Help me.
Fine. l'll hold.
Heather, luv. How about
we discuss this rationally...
...before you throw out
several thousand feet of film?
Rational? Like the time you took me
to Bermuda with you...
...and dumped me
for an exotic dance instructor?
No reason to get personal.
You're engaged, l'm--
Working on a film
that's about to be shut down...
...by me and quite possibly
never started up again. Still holding.
You signed off on this girl,
did you not?
lt wasn't some other Prada-wearing
nightmare l accidentally shagged!
l signed off on her because l thought
you could get a performance out of her.
-He did. You just haven't seen it yet.
-Scott?
Somebody, please help me!
Somebody!
Help me! Somebody!
Somebody, help me! Please, please.
Somebody, please help me!
Better, no?
Before it was all about the location.
Now we're alone with her and her fear.
What do you think?
Your job could be
on the line here too, you know.
Well, l think your little friend here
makes a good point.
Come on.
Jack. Sorry, l didn't know
anybody else was out there.
Yeah. Must take a while to get
to the end of all your adoring fans.
So, what can l help you with?
l've been thinking about this all day.
One thing l gotta ask about this paper.
Sure.
lf l hadn't been so shocked about
what you said to me the other night...
...would this C minus
have been any higher?
Low blow.
Yeah. l'm just trying
to make an informed decision.
And if that's what it's all about,
ask me again, l might say yes this time.
l don't know what to say. Sometimes
people read too much into things.
How about too little?
l'm willing to go--
l get it. l get your point.
lt's one thing to be
some scared teenager...
...afraid of his friends, his family...
...afraid of what everybody he meets
might say about him.
l can forgive that.
Hell, l can expect that.
But you, you're an adult.
Somebody's married to you. You're
ruining lives on a much larger scale.
What can l say?
Not everyone's willing to make
sacrifices for some political agenda.
Not everybody's willing to spend their
lives being part of a despised minority.
Yeah.
Well, if that's true...
...then maybe you should ask yourself
who's doing the despising.
So you checked.
He's out there, right?
Well, l'm not exactly sure.
lt's kind of too crowded to tell.
-How crowded?
-Way crowded.
Why? You okay?
You're not scared?
No! God, no. Why would l be scared?
l don't know.
You just seem sort of tense.
-l'm fine.
-Hey.
-About the other night.
-What other night?
When we got really drunk.
You know what? To be honest-to-God
truthful with you, Jen...
...l don't really remember
that at all so--
Okay, ladies, enough checking
your makeup.
l think the crowd's
suitably drunk by now.
Does that mean that we're on?
lt does.
-The piercings are a nice touch.
-Thank you.
-Screw this up, and l'll kill you.
-Okay. Sure.
Hey, everybody.
We're the Hell's Belles, and we thought
we'd play a few songs for you now.
You know, something soothing,
something relaxing, something....
What the hell you doing here?
-You scared me.
-Yeah, obviously.
l asked you a question.
l just wanted to talk to you
about what happened in class.
Yeah, well, since l'm not really
in that class anymore--
Look, l know. l get it, okay?
l get that you're not really a student.
-You get that, do you?
-Yeah. l don't really get...
...what it was all for, but....
l've come a long way. Maybe you could
give me a glass of water or something?
So my presentation actually
went okay after you left.
-l mean, l went in there, and l--
-Congratulations, Joey.
l'm happy for you.
l'm sure you're seconds away from
breaking Hetson's crusty exterior...
...earning his undying respect,
and graduating magna cum laude.
Or save yourself a lot of trouble
and sleep with the man.
ls it just me, or do you react this nicely
to everyone trying to help you?
-What? No response?
-You have to give me a second here.
l'm still trying to process
the condescending notion...
...that help is actually required.
You don't think it's possible
l could understand?
No, l don't.
l'm sorry l didn't turn out to be who
you thought l was, but you know what?
Probably not too wise to invest
that much in people you barely know.
-Oh, l haven't invested anything in you.
-Oh, yeah?
Then why are you here?
lt seems that you're wasting valuable
time better spent trying to get back...
...with that preppy boyfriend of yours,
if he'll have you.
Remember when you told me
to tell you when you're a jerk?
Yeah. You could have saved yourself
a lot of trouble by just calling first.
l guess it didn't seem
like trouble at the time.
Oh, my God, that was amazing!
-Yeah, well, it didn't suck!
-Oh, come on.
lt worked. They loved us.
Admit it. They loved us.
All right. Yeah, they loved us.
-Honey, you made it!
-l didn't see the whole thing...
-...but you were great.
-More than great. Amazing.
See? Do you see that?
We were amazing.
Where's Pacey?
Heather, there's someone
l'd like you to meet.
Natasha, this is Heather Tracy
from the studio.
-Hi.
-Oh, my God.
lt is so great to finally meet you.
You have amazing skin.
-Thanks.
-Such a total pro.
We are so happy
to have you on our team.
Great job in the scene tonight,
by the way.
Thanks. l decided
not to think tonight.
-Heather, shall we?
-Goody. l can hardly wait.
See you kids later.
-She hates me, right?
-l wouldn't say that.
lt's not a good sign
when the director leaves at lunch...
...with someone who's
just arrived from L.A.
What'd you guys do,
go shoe shopping?
-Start auditioning my replacement?
-The first one.
You're not a good liar, Dawson.
ln fact, you're a spectacularly bad liar.
Come on. You can be honest with me.
-l got this job on a fluke.
-You got it because you're the best...
-...for the part. Tremendously talented.
-Yeah, right.
Or maybe just
tremendously lucky.
l think everyone feels that way
about success.
That is, everyone with a soul.
And you've still got one, right?
l think so.
l think that may be why
we ended up together, you and me.
When we met at that party...
...l was pretty down on myself.
l thought maybe l was an idiot...
...for trying to do this thing...
...and that l should just give up,
and, l don't know...
...be a kindergarten teacher
like my mom tells me.
-A kindergarten teacher?
-Yeah.
There's a lot she doesn't know
about my teen years.
Anyway, l remember thinking...
...if one more working actor
sits next to me...
...and starts complaining about his life,
l will scream.
Get up out of this chair and run
screaming to California Pizza Kitchen...
...quit my job, and move home.
And then you came over.
Why did you do that, anyway?
Honestly?
You were the only hot girl who looked
like she'd read a book in her life.
And you knew then
l was right for this part.
After l talked to you, yeah.
So you weren't just chatting me up?
-l was chatting you up.
-You were?
l figured telling you about
a big audition couldn't hurt.
Yeah. Then l nailed it.
l still can't believe it.
God, that was a great day.
lt felt like my luck
was finally changing.
-lt has.
-Yes, it has.
Well, l should go get changed.
All right.
But maybe tonight at the bar,
we could...
...l don't know, play some air hockey
or throw some darts.
l'd like that.
Me too.
lt rocks that the bar's
across the street.
lt simplifies things a bit, actually.
-l really should thank you.
-What for?
For taking a chance on me
and all that crap.
Can't really mess up punk rock
all that bad.
But still, it was important to you,
and you trusted me, and....
Let's not hug. Your pig of a boyfriend's
likely to enjoy that.
He would, actually.
Oh, dear.
Poor sot.
He stayed up all last night. Should
have known he was gonna crash.
Oh, well. See you tomorrow.
Good night.
Good night.
Hey.
Oh, crap. l missed it, didn't l?
-Yeah.
-l came in to change my clothes...
-...and l meant to just--
-You didn't get very far, did you?
Okay. Tell me how
l can make this up to you.
Please. Whatever you want.
l am completely, totally, utterly yours,
at your service.
l know it's kind of late
and everything...
...but do you think you could
just drive me home?
-Yeah, sure. Of course.
-l just kind of want to sleep...
-...in my own bed tonight.
-Absolutely. Not a problem.
Okay. l'm gonna go get my stuff.
Okay. l'll be-- l'll just wait here.
What are you doing here?
l knew you were closing,
could use help.
ln what way could you
possibly help?
All right. That was fair.
Not to mention how condescending.
The assumption l actually need help.
Okay, l get it.
Are you done yet?
Only for the time being.
lt was an accident, okay?
The first time l did it.
How do you accidentally sit in on
a class and pretend to be a student?
Well, l'm on my lunch hour,
l'm sitting under some tree...
...and this grad student comes over
with his whole section...
...of Great Books 1 -0-- Whatever.
And they start talking
about Shakespeare.
And you just happened
to be reading it?
No, l was reading Moby Dick.
Later, l read Shakespeare.
-All of it?
-No sense in doing things halfway.
l see. And since it was so easy,
you just kept doing it.
lt prevents me from deliberately
stepping into the street...
...and methodically
knocking people's hats off.
Moby Dick, right?
Hey, maybe you're not as dumb
as Hetson thinks you are.
We'll see. Look.
Contrary to what you might believe...
...l only came by your place tonight
to apologize.
l felt like it was kind of my fault
that you got caught today.
-How's that?
-Hetson wouldn't have singled you out...
-...if you weren't being so nice to me.
-Nice?
l was trying to be nice to you?
Yeah. lt seemed kind of obvious.
Wrong.
-Wrong?
-Yes. That wasn't me being nice.
That was me showing off.
You know, you disappoint me,
Potter.
-l do?
-Yes.
How are we supposed to
learn anything today, people?
You didn't do your groundwork,
did you?
No, l didn't.
No, you didn't.
What's this?
You left your paper
in my office yesterday.
ls this supposed to
make everything okay?
Maybe l did let my emotions affect
the way that l graded your paper.
-lf l did, that's inexcusable.
-l sense an excuse coming on here.
You have no idea, do you,
of how much the world has changed?
The world's changed because
people are willing to stand up...
...and be honest, not hide behind
things that are easier.
When l was growing up, when l was--
How did you put it?
--''a scared teenager,'' you didn't have
gay kids coming out on MTV.
And Jack Tripper was
the only gay man in America.
You think that's such a small thing,
such a minute cultural difference?
Maybe you really haven't been
paying attention in my class, Jack.
Just do me a favour,
have one of the TAs...
...grade my papers
from now on, please.
No problem.
Oh, nice. Little private
teacher conference.
What was that all about?
Just getting that thing
with my paper straightened out.
-Oh, yeah. ls it?
-Straight?
Yeah. Perfectly.
Come on.