Dawson's Creek (1998–2003): Season 6, Episode 3 - The Importance of Not Being Too Earnest - full transcript

Oh, my God!

You're still there, like a vegetable.

Writing a good e-mail is hard.

Yes, especially when
it is a huge mistake.

-Shut up.
-Joey, l am serious.

E-mail expression
is the scourge of today.

The lnternet has made it way
too easy to express oneself.

Okay, you have some
fleeting thought.

You send it. lt lands with a thud in
some unsuspecting person's mailbox.

Said person then reads it,
gets irked...

...because you've recapped
a conversation you already had.

They fail to respond,
you feel slighted.

But, if you must
be one of these pathetic...

...passive-aggressive e-mail types...

...far be it from me to stop you.

What do you have so far?

Well, l had '' Dear Dawson,''
and then l erased it.

Why? l think that's a nice start.

-lt seemed cold.
-True.

You did just nude-up with the guy.

Or did you guys do it
through a hole in a sheet...

...that's very Dawson and Joey.

-Again, shut up.
-Sorry.

-Okay, so, what do you want to say?
-l don't know. l mean...

...l don't like the way things ended.

And l want him
to know that l care...

...but l also want to hold on
to my righteous indignation.

Obviously.

Well, why don't you just pick
up the phone and call him?

l'm afraid we'll fall right back
into old patterns. Trust me...

...e-mail is a far safer alternative
at the moment.

Okay, if you must do this,
then l say that you go for it.

You know, be gooey,
and be embarrassing...

...but most of all, just be real, Joey.

Say all of the things you can't
say to his face, the whole nine.

You're right.

l better get to work.

But...

-...thank you, Audrey.
-No problem, sister Christian.

That's gross.

-That's gross?
-Yeah.

-l thought you'd be more--
-Sensitive? Well-groomed?

-Up by 6, drinking a Zone shake?
-To begin with.

l thought you'd be more--

Snaggletoothed? Sucking down the
tea? Choking on bangers and mash?

lt's a service we provide to those less
educated of our cultures, you and l.

We keep them guessing.

Okay, yuck it up, kiddies,
because this is how l will...

...appear every morning,
in all my formal glory.

Some of us have to work for a living.

Poor Pacey Witter has a job
that millions want...

-...that he's vastly underqualified for.
-Oh, come on.

What's up with that hair, man?
Why is it...

-...the way it is?
-lt's too much product?

You sure that blond
of yours isn't a ruse?

lf you can't deal
with the man love...

-...l don't think this is gonna work out.
-Don't remind me.

l know you've got this brilliant job...

...but you still have to put the dishes
in the wash before you go.

Which is exactly why
l came down here.

And you, Jack,
left the door unlocked last night...

...after the hard sell you boys
gave me about free security.

That wasn't me. That was him.
l'm totally non-confrontational.

All right, okay.
All right, duly noted.

Man, between the suit
and nagging...

...it's like an old-fashioned
American family around here.

You've got a message.

-Audrey!
-What?

-Audrey, wake up.
-What?

-The e-mail.
-What about it?

l sent it to everyone. Not ''the gang,''
countless strangers...

...'' Campus-wide'' everyone.

Honey, why would you do that?

lt was a mistake. l was tired.
l clicked on the wrong address.

See? l told you that
wasn't a good idea.

That's all you have to say?

l don't know.

Sucks to be you?

-Witter.
-Rinaldi.

That's ''sir'' until you buy me flowers,
Witter. Where have you been?

l was under the impression
l wasn't supposed to be here till--

''Supposed to''? Well, that's cute.

You dress yourself...

...or does Mommy want you
to look like a pansy?

Look around. You see these guys?

Apparently, these gentlemen
are free thinkers.

Since you've yet to grow a pair,
you get stuck with these.

-And what's all this?
-That is a collection...

...of about 30 cold days in hell.

Rich guys sitting on piles of money
so high their daughters eloped...

...and sold their babies on the black
market just to put ramen on the table.

We've never been able
to sell them stock...

...and they will never buy it
from the tardy likes of you.

Better get on the phone.
We work on commission here.

And the guys on your list don't know
how dreamy you are...

...so l would work that blue-collar
charm full throttle.

Stop batting your eyes at me.

ls this some sort of punishment?

l'm just trying to get you to leave.
l don't have enough desks.

No, Jen. Jen, can l sit on the inside?
l wanna sit on the inside. Sorry.

What? Sorry.

Are we done playing
musical chairs yet?

l wanna be able to see the board.

Don't insult me with scholarly guise.

-You want a good look at Freeman.
-And why not? Mother, may l?

Audrey, not that we don't enjoy
having you here, because we do...

...but don't you have
your own classes?

Worthington's charms
are lost on me.

Miss one more week,
they'll kick you out.

-That would be awesome.
-Guys:

Okay, l forgot to tell you.

This is studious Jack, not to be
confused with fun-time Jack.

He doesn't like to miss a word
of Freeman's lecture, so keep it down.

So tell me, between him and Grams,
how do you nap during class?

You don't, too difficult.

-Guys, guys.
-Before we get started...

...l just wanted to inform those
among you who are...

...truly enamored
with our twisted culture...

...that there's a little extra-credit
assignment today.

Now, my heart won't be broken
if nobody shows up.

l will, however, silently judge you
for the rest of the semester.

There's a theater downtown showing
a double feature which exemplifies...

...our culture's obsession with
the beautiful girl who plays ugly.

The plain Janes who go on
to grace the covers of Cosmo...

...the same month
their makeover movies come out.

Oh, no. Scholar Jack is gonna make
me watch Miss Congeniality again.

l love that movie.

So see me after class for details.

Okay, kiddies, knock back
your Ritalin and settle down.

You may recall, we were wrapping
up a depraved discussion...

...of Portnoy's Complaint
last week...

Sadly, we won't be dabbling
in Roth's stream of consciousness...

...sexual rivers much longer.

But fate assigned us some additional
reading last night via e-mail.

l think you all got a copy, so why not?

Let's discuss something
you actually might have read.

'' Dear Dawson...

...l don't know where to begin.''

-Professor Hetson--
-Nobody likes a showoff, Potter.

You don't reach a point for
several paragraphs, so l'll skip ahead.

'' ln the moment when we touched...

...maybe we went somewhere else
that rose above all this.

But then we landed,
and l think maybe we crashed.''

Why, when broaching
the topic of sex...

...do writers try to write themselves
out of it?

Sexuality and all its dysfunctions are
intrinsic to the human experience...

...maybe the one thing we can all
relate to at the end of the day.

Well, neurosis
and the God thing aside.

And the reason that Roth seduced us,
and Miss Morning-After here didn't...

...is that while Roth isn't afraid to get
his hands quite literally dirty...

...with rapid-fire
sensual description...

...our e-mail author here...

...distances herself from the act
with vague metaphors.

Can't be stream of consciousness...

...if you're observing
from the shores.

Right?

Right.

Well, no-- l mean, l certainly
understand that logic, Mr. Engel.

But, l'm telling you, if you invest
in this stock now, your value...

...it'll double, eventually.

The stock?
Well, the stock is strong.

l mean, if you....

Percentage-wise? Well, yeah, you're
probably looking at a good 1 5-- Hello?

Smooth, Witter.

The guy just caught me off guard.

Listen, you gotta stop
making excuses.

l've heard you on the phone.

You think people relate to a plucky,
blue-collar kid from Southie?

-Capeside.
-Whatever.

Still reeks white picket
and black lab.

You're talking like you're trying
to get a date Friday night.

'' l'm Pacey. l'm sensitive.
l care about your needs.''

That's the angle of the guy trying
to sell the Herald.

Don't make him feel
like the pretty girl.

Make them feel like morons for
doubting your financial prowess.

So you want these people
to hang up on me?

No. l want them to believe you,
which won't happen...

-...unless you put heart into it.
-Fine. How am l to sell them stocks?

l don't even know what
the damned thing is.

Find your in with these guys.

Become them.
Become who they wanna be.

Think with those judgmental,
ageist, racist, sexist, stereotyping...

...parts of your brain that you've
worked so hard to conquer.

Believe me, you're never gonna land a
guy like Topper playing the nice guy.

And who exactly is Topper?

Mr. Eli Topper is the next guy in
your pile, fantastically hard sell.

Lives in a little apartment,
outskirts of Boston...

...doesn't wanna pay city tax.

Made millions in the '80s,
now he's sitting on it.

Why go through the trouble
of getting that money...

...if you won't use it
to better your life?

Guys like Topper believe it can buy
them an upgrade in heaven.

Since you and l know
we're never going there...

...grab your keys.
We're going off campus.

Remember, you can't technically pour
the alcohol, not while l'm on with you.

No need to bring in
the vis-?-vists.

No offense, but you do know
l've worked in a restaurant before.

l've seen them built, burn down--
Not that l had anything to do with that.

Fascinating, but you've never
worked in this dive, now, have you?

Come on, then,
have a go at table three.

l would think long and hard
before sending...

...an e-mail like that to a guy
l just slept with.

l know, right? l mean, unless she just
never wanted to hear from him again.

-You guys know what you want?
-Not all guys are like that.

Oh, whatever, Mike. You're gay.

A quesadilla and a pale ale.

Maybe the guy's gay too.
That's why he screwed her over.

Okay, look, she is obviously starving
for attention, broadcasting it like that?

l mean, really, what's the point?

Unless you're on The Real World
or whatever.

You know, maybe...

...this is a shot in the dark,
she didn't mean to send it at large.

She's trying to get private closure,
never dreamed she'd be subjected...

...to the Oprah psychobabble
of her life-lacking peers.

You guys want something to eat,
or should l bring bonbons...

...so you guys can hunker down
and watch your stories?

Maybe later.

Boston Bay
is not a party school, Audrey.

Spare me lies. l'm not going back
to my evil den of higher learning.

This is clearly where it's at.

The midday keggers get a little
old after a few semesters, trust me.

Tell you what,
l'll meet you guys in there.

-l'm gonna talk to Professor Freeman.
-Think that's a tad Tracy Flick?

-He doesn't know who you are.
-Sure he does.

l've raised my hand and talked
in class a lot of times. He's noticed.

-He has.
-All right, Swimfan.

Somebody has got to talk to him
about his love of the straights.

Whatever. lt's totally hot.

Okay, see you inside.

Hey.

-Not a very big turnout.
-No, apparently not.

l guess...

...not everybody is as enthusiastic...

...about the girl who cried ugly
as we are.

Right.

l'm sorry, do l know you?

No. Sorry. Jack McPhee.
l'm in your Pop Culture class.

Oh, l'm sorry, Jack. That class is
massive, hard to keep people straight.

l'll bet.

-l'll see you in there.
-Okay.

Sure l haven't made a fantastic
mistake, then, living with those two?

-No. l'm sure you won't be bored.
-Now, that's a cold comfort.

You've got to be kidding me.

Him? Yeah, he comes
in here all the time.

Oh, of course he does.

He's obviously been assigned
to ruin my life...

...and he seems determined
to do it in record time.

Listen, l'm not going to run
for cover every time a dark cloud...

...forms over your head.
So l suggest you nip this in the bud.

He's all yours.

l see why this joint
would be more alluring...

...than the confines
of the English Department...

...all that silence, all those books.

And then, of course,
your constant positive reinforcement.

Yeah, right. That would get
really annoying after a while.

Waiting for me to order,
or you have something to say?

lt looks like you've got
your '' bone to pick'' face on.

How would you know that look?

Word gets around.

-l'll just have a tuna melt and a beer.
-Sure.

-Professor Hetson--
-There you go.

Yeah, here l go.

l'm sure your hard-as-nails thing
really works for you.

l'm sure it earns you respect...

...and l'm sure that l will learn a lot
in your class.

After today, l wish you would've turned
me away when you had the chance.

Thought you'd be flattered
to be in the spotlight.

l don't single people out that often.

Contrary to what you believe,
l'm not an idiot, Professor Hetson.

l'm fairly certain in the 20 minutes you
spent mocking my formative years...

...was a major off-ramp
from modern comp lit.

And l'd just like to know,
does today's total evisceration...

...exonerate me, say,
through November...

...or does this sort of public ridicule
delight you indefinitely?

l don't know. We're about to get
into the poignant ramblings...

...of Joyce and Woolf, and your work
provides such a marked contrast.

Hey, Joey...

...you do fancy yourself
a writer, correct?

-Yeah, you could call it a hobby.
-So l'm sure you've gathered...

...that on top of being neurotic
and plagued with self-doubt...

...writers have to endure public
humiliation once in a while.

You walked into my office
promising me...

...fearless academic ego,
but l have yet to see it.

lf you can't handle my class...

...and countless have died trying,
why don't you just quit?

l'm not a quitter.
-People love saying that.

lt's like they saw it in some movie
and liked how it sounds.

Look, l'm not just saying it, okay?

l wanted to take your class
to learn something and to work hard.

l didn't want to be ridiculed
in the process.

Your heartfelt rant
to what's-his-name...

...proved good fodder
for the topic at hand.

lt's hard to write that sex stuff...

...which you aptly proved.

And if, by chance, one day you
manage to get your writing...

...circulated beyond the campus
in-box, there will always be...

...an irritable writer-type claiming
to do better.

You didn't mean for this to go out
in the world. Whatever. Bygones.

Declare victory and move on.

Where's the victory in
this little scenario?

One down, only a lifetime
of proving yourself left to go.

And if you're staying in my class...

...start proving that it's worth it.

To one of us, at least.

Man, you don't actually
sleep in this car, do you?

Not recently.

l just moved into a new place.

Good, because l don't want to start
feeling sorry for you or anything.

You don't see these
around much anymore.

Oh, come on, man.
This is a great car.

Sure, it's a lot of work,
but she's worth it, you know?

Turn into that dealership
right over there.

What, are we going
for a test drive?

That's one bonding experience
that's passed us by. No.

This one is signed and paid for.
Picking it up.

You've gotta be kidding me.

You cannot possibly be getting a Z8.

-Nice, huh?
-Nice?

How could you afford a car like that?
You're not that much older than me.

Yes, but l'm so much wiser.
Don't sweat it.

Maybe if you snag Topper,
all this'll be yours before you know it.

Nice car. l'll take it from here.

Hey, l happen to like my car,
thank you very much.

Yeah, you've got a way
to get around town...

...but it's all about what your car
says about you.

Okay, l'll bite.
What does my car say about me?

That you're a sentimental fool
of a man-child.

You're too weak for a real car...

...so you tinker
with your medium-cool, vintage one.

You surround yourself
with all things good...

...but not good enough.
You don't wanna grow up...

...so you don't go to school...

...and you borrow your suits, and you
let your facial hair run amuck.

That's fine,
but then why get in the ring at all...

...if you won't even throw a punch?

You gonna go in that office
and watch guys collect their money...

...so you can write a piece
about it in your memoirs?

Well, maybe l don't care
about any of that stuff.

Maybe l'm just trying
to pay my rent.

Come on, Pacey.
l see something going on in there.

You're not subjecting yourself to me
because you like my tie.

You're hungry. So quit F-ing around
and go for it already.

Hey, how are you?

Hey, l hear you, Mr. Topper. When
my father needed an open-heart...

...l didn't touch my savings.
He got himself into that...

...he can get himself out. Right?

You and l are both very busy men...

...if you don't wanna hear
about this stock...

...that's fine by me. l'm just gonna
call one of our more active buyers.

Yes, the packet of information
my company sent you...

...is worth taking a look at...

...but it is nothing compared to what
landed on my desk this morning.

But, look, you and l,
we both know...

...you're not an active buyer,
if you're not interested...

...fine by me.
Just tell me right now.

Spare me the niceties,
l am not your prom date.

l'll call my other guy.
l made him 50 grand last week.

l'm pretty sure he'll be happy
to take my call, right?

Okay, so here's the story.

The buyers in the market are playing
close to the vest now.

But when they wake up,
they'll be kicking themselves...

...because the buying price on this
will have doubled.

lf you get in right now, you'll beat the
guys who wake up in the morning...

...remember that they actually have
a pair, and that greed is good, Eli.

The sucker down the street, he's never
gonna know the joy you know.

By getting in early,
you made 1 0 times the profit he did...

...and that's something you'll be able
to rub in his face...

...every time you pick up
your paper.

l knew you were a smart man
the second you picked up the phone.

Let me just put you through
to my assistant...

...you can give her your information.

lt has been a pleasure
doing business with you.

Thanks, guys.
Latham, get me that spreadsheet by 3.

Don't you knock?
l could've been having a nooner.

Oh, l thought you were.
Anyway, guess what.

Know what? Don't guess,
you'll ruin it for me.

-l just closed Topper.
-You're kidding me.

No, friend, l'm not.
l closed Topper.

l sold him a B.S. line
from an '80s movie. He bought it.

l was a profiler. l could smell
the cheap fear on this guy's breath.

He'd rather buy stock today,
ask questions tomorrow...

...as long as he's the richest guy
on the block.

lt's amazing. l sell, he buys.
lt's that simple. Can you believe it?

You know what? l can.

Man, Witter, l knew you
were a sneaky little twerp...

...but l never thought you'd pull
this on me, not today.

-Come here, give me a hug.
-You serious?

No. But go to that refrigerator
and get us some icy cold beverages.

-l'm proud of you, son.
-Will do!

-Anyway, l'll see you Tuesday.
-All right.

Hey, Professor Freeman.

-Hi. Jack, right?
-Yeah.

Yeah, that's Jack. l'm Jen.
l'm in your class too.

That's right.
l've seen you two sit together.

Hi.

Am l losing my mind?
Are you in my class?

No. No, l'm just a really
big fan of your work.

And the work of beautiful,
ugly women everywhere...

...and l'm really just interested
in this pure culture of ours, and....

Yeah, so do you guys
wanna go visit Joey at work...

...and partake
in some refreshments?

Professor, you're welcome to join
if you're into crossing the line.

That sounds great.
Why don't you get the car...

...and l'll meet you at the corner.

You're gonna let me drive
the Saab?

Of course, Jennifer.
Why wouldn't l?

So why don't you two skedaddle,
and l'll see you in a second.

-Okay.
-Okay.

There you go. At least l know
who's not in my class.

Yeah.

Did you forget something inside?
-Oh, no.

No, look, l don't expect you
to know who l am.

l just wanted to tell you
that l enjoy your class.

l haven't really cared
about school in a while.

l haven't cared about anything
in a while.

But seeing the work you put
into lectures, seeing a teacher...

...that's interesting and dynamic...

...and not just trying to blow through
another 50 minutes...

...it just really means a lot to me.

l didn't know what l was
gonna declare as a major...

...but now, l don't know
if it's the way you word things...

...or it's the subject matter, but l walk
away from class still thinking about it...

...and l just look forward
to the next time...

...and l was just wondering how l could
become more involved, you know.

Are we talking about the class, Jack,
or are we talking about me?

No. No.

No, it's not what l meant.
lt's just--

-l mean, l'm not-- Well, l am, but--
-Don't sweat it.

Look, l'm glad you like the class.

And l think it'll show
in your work this semester.

l'm walking this way. Are you?

Yeah. Yeah.

Mr. Frickee, l'm telling you,
it's a one time--

Hello? Cheap bastard.

Any luck?

No, not on that one.

Yeah, knew you were
a one-hit wonder.

You wish, man.

Here, sport,
buy yourself some lunch.

Are you kidding?

No, you gotta work your way up.
Come on, do it fast.

No one is getting lunch today. They'll
think l've gone soft. Five minutes.

Did anyone hear it?

-No, but Johnson said it was killer.
-Yeah?

He said it was like
he smelled the blood...

...and didn't stop until he tasted it.

He is so fricking awesome.

-What's going on?
-Oh, you didn't hear?

-That's why l'm asking.
-Rinaldi, man.

He closed Topper.

-What?
-They said it couldn't be done.

-The guy is, like, my personal God.
-Hey, ease up, Henderson.

You're looking a little light
in the loafers.

-Hey, you think he got partner for that?
-Oh, he'll get something.

You gonna pick something or not?

No, man.
Look, in fact, this one's on me.

Enjoy yourself, all right?

Hey. You start today?

So it would appear.

l need two beers and a vodka tonic.

Emma's in the back.

Yeah, right,
you can't pour your own drinks.

Well, this should be fun, babysitting
you on top of everything else.

-And what's that supposed to mean?
-Don't get all fired up, okay?

l'm just not in the mood
to take on your rage tonight.

l'm sure you'll be just
as oversensitive tomorrow.

Oh, l get it.
You wanna see me crack, huh?

The endless horrors of the day
are a waste...

...unless they result
in my nervous breakdown?

-You have a bad day or something?
-Like you don't know.

Too bad you didn't show up today...

...and hear Hetson's brilliant critique
of my e-mail.

That was the high point. Although,
l also loved walking into rooms...

...to hear people whispering
and laughing at me.

There's nothing better
than reaching for the last Jell-O...

...and getting unsolicited
sexual advice from a stranger.

Sounds fascinating.
Sorry l missed it.

You know,
contrary to popular belief...

...l didn't send that e-mail to get
feedback from everyone.

l was thinking,
since l've been mocked...

...for most of today,
maybe you could spare me...

...and concentrate on your own
deep unhappiness for a while.

You know, strangely, before you
got all crazy confessional on me...

...that's exactly what l was doing.

l hadn't been planning how
to best torture you.

You see, we don't just walk off into a
void when we leave your line of vision.

Some of us even have our own lives
and don't even talk about you at all.

Now, l'm sorry that some brutal...

...lvy League kids made fun
of your e-mail today.

To tell you the truth,
l'm not much of an lnternet guy...

...so, sadly, l have missed yet another
aspect of your riveting, charmed life.

But if you can't pour the drinks...

...can you at least serve them?

Thanks.

Witter. Thought you'd gone home.

Yeah, l figured you were waiting so
you could sneak out the back door.

But l just had a question l had
to ask you, and please...

...spare me the dime-store speech
on what a sucker l am until l've left.

-l can't promise you anything.
-Yeah, l'm getting that.

l just wanted to ask you
why you bother with the act.

With the whole, you know, tough love,
'' let me show you the ropes'' act?

Because you don't actually want me
to succeed, do you?

ln fact you're praying for me to fail.

That way,
you have one less sheep in the herd.

And if l do succeed,
then you're my friend?

No, then you're gonna keep on
taking my money that l earned...

-...and counting it as your own.
-Do you need me here for this, or--?

Well, l just wanna know
why you bother.

Why would you take
the time out of a busy day...

...to build someone up,
make them feel worthy...

...if you'll just steal all their glory
at the end anyway?

This is a business.

l didn't wake up looking for some
plucky kid to take under my wing.

l came here to do my job,
just like every day.

Running you hard? Yeah, that's
my job. Singing your praises isn't.

Landing Topper, that was a fluke.

A genius fluke,
but a fluke nonetheless.

We don't hand those deals over
to the little guys.

You haven't taken your Series 7.
That bodes well for the future...

...but today, it means nothing.

So l'm just supposed
to turn the other way on this?

Slap you on the back, congratulate
you like the rest of your minions?

No, man,
that is not why l came here.

You can do what you wanna do.

Maybe you'd rather continue
floating numbly in the status quo.

Maybe you wanna be me, and that's
so scary you can't think straight.

So walk away, Witter,
it's what you do.

And this is what l do,
and l'm freaking good at it.

You wish you were this good,
and that's why you bother trying.

You think someone didn't do
the exact same thing to me?

Done like a true professional.

-More like a permanent bar wench.
-l'm sorry you had such a bad day, Jo.

Serves me right.
We don't take kindly to closure here.

You know, if it makes
you feel any better...

...l hardly heard about
the e-mail all day.

You weren't on campus all day.

Details, Joey.

-Does Dawson even know about it?
-No, that's the thing.

l mean, it wasn't even
addressed to him.

My intimate aftermath
was discussed in English class...

...but Dawson will never know.

Well, maybe that's not
such a bad thing...

...because this way, there's a little
more space between you guys...

...and, technically,
you still have a clean slate.

Yeah, seriously,
personal humiliation...

...could've been a lot worse
than the public kind.

What dream world
are you two living in?

Oh, right. Sorry.

Okay, so l have an idea.

l'll be, like, your sponsor,
and then the next time...

...you're jonesing to express yourself,
you can just call me.

Hey.

Pacey!

Oh, dear Lord.

Today was terrible! Don't ever go
back to work. Never, never, never!

-Don't tempt me.
-You know l will.

-Hey, guys.
-Hello, Mr. Witter.

-We're not drinking, we swear.
-Rough day.

You don't know the half.

Save a seat for me?
l'm gonna go freshen up.

-ls he okay?
-l don't know, but it's not my fault.

Joey, who is that?

-Eddie.
-He is a ruggedly dreamy sort.

He's got a major chip
on his shoulder...

...the size of which rivals only
the one on my shoulder.

He's okay.

-ls Emma still here?
-No, she left about an hour ago.

-l think she was heading home.
-How is it living with her?

She run around in her underwear and
ask you guys to zip things up for her?

That's funny. Actually, the three of us
took a bath together this morning.

l thought you only
took baths with Grams.

Can we go get a breath
of fresh air for a sec?

Of course, honey.

Pacey, that is bull!

You can't let him get away with it.
He's gonna keep doing it.

l've no doubt he will. But l don't think
tattling on him is gonna do any good.

That's how they do business. l didn't
know that getting in, but l do now.

The only question that remains
is how do l get through the days?

Well, that doesn't sound like
the greatest way to live.

Pacey, you're 20 years old, and you're
already waiting for time to pass.

Honey, why don't you quit?

Because it's not that easy.

Yes, it is.

Pacey, these are supposed to be,
like, the easiest days of our lives.

We're supposed to be in there
with our friends, you know...

...coming up with ridiculous drinking
games and making each other laugh.

l think we've all figured out the real
world is a pretty crappy place...

...so, what's the rush
in getting there?

Because sooner or later,
you run out of places to hide.

You seem to be operating
under the assumption...

...that you can do whatever you like,
and you just can't.

l peeked behind the curtain...

...now l can't pretend fantasy
is the same as reality.

l've been killing time for too long.
l wanna make something for myself...

-...whether it's easy or not.
-l'm sorry that you feel...

...like l've been
a colossal waste of your time.

That's not what l mean,
and you know it.

You and l come from very
different worlds, you know that, right?

l didn't realize how different
until l went to L.A. this summer.

My dad is a heartless
old fool just like your dad.

He just wears more expensive suits,
that's all.

Yes, he does.

l'm not expressing this
very well, am l?

l'm trying to say...

...that l need respect.

l respect you.

l know you respect me,
and l love you for it...

...but that's not what l'm talking about.
l need respect out there.

And maybe l gotta take a different path
than l thought l was going to...

...but c'est la vie.

The only thing l know
for sure right now...

...is l need sleep.

So if you and l go home right now...

...we will sleep, right?

We can do whatever you want.

ls it always gonna be like this?

l don't know. l can't tell.

Come on.

Now, we're not talking immediate
sleep here, are we, baby?

-No.
-Good.

-Jo, thanks. We're out of here.
-Good night.

Bye, guys.

That's your share.

Thanks.

-Look, Eddie, about earlier--
-Hey, don't sweat it.

l didn't miss anything big
in class today, did l?

l mean, aside from
the aforementioned e-mail thing?

Which led to the afore-witnessed
freak-out?

No.

Man, l hate this song.

Yeah, me too.

Thank you.

Thanks for doing the dishes.

l think that was Pacey.

l heard him get up somewhere
around the crack of dawn.

Well, he cleans and he leaves
before l wake up.

That's more than l can say
for my last boyfriend.

Man, l do not wanna go
to classes today.

Why? l mean,
aside from typical sloth?

Yeah. lt's my professor. He just--

-Never mind.
-No, what?

Well...

...l don't know.
l mean, we had this...

...really weird moment yesterday
where it seemed like l was into him.

Well, did it seem like you're into him
or do you really fancy him?

l really fancy him,
but l don't want him to know that.

Well, maybe he was flattered.

Or maybe he was married?

Well, he should be flattered.

Yeah, you know what,
give me some of that stuff.

Yeah. Okay.

Oh, God!

This stuff is horrible!

-How do you drink this crap?
-Well....

Come on.

Morning.

Good morning.

Oh, sorry.

So nice to see you, Potter.

Hope our pesky class didn't interfere
with your important e-mail schedule.

Whip out another diatribe
last night?

Actually, l did.
l was hoping this was it.

Did you guys not get it?

This is actually a copy of the article
l assigned to follow up the reading.

l know your mini-drama
probably prevented you...

...from even looking at the syllabus.

Well, most of yesterday consisted
of eviscerating my personal life...

...and every lesson is a rant
composed of your dated theories.

l'm sorry l'm late, Professor Hetson...

...but the first half of class is when
you reveal how bitter you are...

...how moronic we are,
and how literature is dead.

Were you thinking of moving on...

...to something slightly more
stimulating today?

l think we've been spending too much
time together, if that's your attitude.

l was thinking of teaching today.

l don't know if l've got a lot to offer,
with tenure and the published articles.

But if you all insist
on being stimulated...

...why don't we discuss James Joyce's
description of the girl on the beach.

l mean, l'm too hackneyed
to illuminate the subject...

...but maybe someone else
can shed some light.

Wilson.

What do you think?

Leery! Come on, break's over.