Dawson's Creek (1998–2003): Season 6, Episode 17 - Sex and Violence - full transcript
Joey agrees to be Pacey's temporary secretary over his recent promotion. But they both have second thoughts when their mutual jealousy leads to disaster in the office over a reporter, named Sadia, the same woman whom met Pacey at the office party (in the 'All the Right Moves' episode), as well as Joey not getting along at all with the pig-headed and callous Rich Rinaldi. Meanwhile in Los Angeles, Dawson sells his idea for a coming-of-age movie, but when the studio heads Heather Tracy and Larry Newman want to change the movie into a teen sex film, Dawson must decide if he should take the lucrative deal or stick with his original concept. Also, an open-minded Grams is the intermediary that brings Jen and C.J. back together.
That place was so nice, Pace.
They had individual towels
in the bathroom.
Really?
Laid out in baskets and everything?
Well, if that's not the hallmark
of a classy joint, l don't know what is.
Well, you do definitely know
how to treat a lady.
l gotta spend my money
on something.
Oh, that came out totally wrong.
Because you are not-- Not something
that l just would spend money on.
lt's not like a possession--
But l would. And l do.
Well, why do you think l'm with you?
Okay.
How's work going, Pace?
-lt's going really well, thank you.
-Good.
l got a promotion, actually.
Really? To what?
l don't know.
There's no title, but l get an office...
...and l get a secretary.
That's kind of cool.
-Yeah.
-Fancy.
You certainly won't want
to talk to me after tonight, so....
You see,
l knew you would understand.
Don't kick a girl when she's down.
l'm strapped for cash, and they cut...
...my hours because everyone's on
spring break, drinking elsewhere.
l guess that means you're
free for dinner next Saturday.
Well, anything for a free meal.
Classy lady like you,
l might even throw in a free dessert.
You must be serious about me.
Okay, well....
l think that's my cue.
-l'm just gonna...
-Okay.
...cut my losses.
l'll have my secretary
call you about dinner.
Pacey, l had a lovely time.
So did l. Good night.
Good night.
Good morning, sunshine.
-Where's Grams?
-She's...
...downstairs, stirring porridge.
Really?
Shall we, then?
Shall we what?
Oh, sh--
Shall we that.
-Yeah, that.
-Yeah.
No.
-No?
-No.
Not really in the mood.
Mood? Who needs mood?
-What?
-Nothing a little toothpaste won't fix.
Well, fine then, don't kiss me.
See if l care.
Not so sexy when you're pouting.
Do you know how many of these were
in here when l bought them?
-Twelve.
-Know how many are in here now?
Twelve.
We haven't had sex in a week, Jen.
-That's hardly true.
-Not since Grams went to bingo.
That was a week ago today.
What am l, sex on a stick?
l'm not a boy.
l don't have the same kind of
sex drive that you do, all right?
Not to mention the fact that l--
l live in terror of Grams walking in on
us in the middle of some ungodly act.
So maybe you can understand
why l'm not jumping...
...your bones every chance l get.
Wow, then it's true what they say.
-What?
-Once you start dating...
-...the sex goes right out the window.
-You are such a drama queen.
You know, there are other ways
for us to be intimate.
-l'm all for that stuff.
-You know, so am l.
Well, come on.
ls this what you were
talking about? Snuggling?
Yeah.
What did you think
l was talking about?
Nothing.
Check her out.
Jo. Hi.
To what do l owe this honour?
l brought you an office-warming gift.
You won't get in trouble
for having visitors, will you?
No, no. Not if you stop
distracting the boys.
You want to step into my office?
How professional.
So everyone's just on the phone.
ls this what you do all day?
lt's a little more complicated than that.
Can l grab those? Thanks, Tom.
So, what makes you so busy now
that you need an assistant?
l don't know, but to tell you the truth,
she kind of freaks me out.
Marcy? Hi.
-l'd like to introduce my friend, Jo.
-Nice to meet you.
FYl for you, Mr. Witter,
the meeting's been pushed to 3...
...and Mr. Rinaldi's in your office...
...and when you have a moment,
l'd like a word.
-A word?
-Don't patronize me, Mr. Witter.
l'm sorry, ma'am. l'm....
You can talk now if you like.
lf you must know, Mr. Rinaldi fired me,
and l'll be leaving at the end of the day.
Just breaking it in for you.
Oh, who's the looker?
You do realize that
l'm standing right here?
And you do realize that was
a compliment, right?
Rich, this is Joey.
Joey, you remember Rich.
Rich, why is it, exactly,
that you fired my secretary?
Well, she tried to kick me
out of your office.
Doesn't that deserve a raise?
Well, l didn't like her attitude, Witter.
Or the cut of her jib, for that matter.
You can just fire somebody because
you don't like the way they look?
-lsn't that discrimination?
-ls she human resources?
No. No, no.
She's my-- A friend of mine.
So why aren't you in school today?
-l'm on spring break.
-What do you do 9 to 5, Johnny?
Joey.
Nothing at the moment.
l say you spend the next 2 weeks
filling in here.
You know how to play office, right?
Why don't you set that up, Witter.
-He's kidding, right?
-Rich?
No, he doesn't really have much
of a sense of humour.
Well, how much does it pay?
l don't know. l think it's like
600 bucks a week.
Are you serious?
-Would you want to do it?
-You have to admit, Pace...
...l mean, that is perfect timing.
l'm broke.
We never see each other anymore.
Yeah, but hanging out by the coffee
machine is not exactly a date, is it?
Who's kidding who, Pace?
Now, we both know...
...that the boss doesn't hang out
by the coffee machine.
-That would be the assistant's job.
-You're sure you'd be comfortable...
...with the whole boss-secretary
power relationship?
We both know who's boss here.
Okay. l mean, what's the worst
that could happen, right?
Barring me taking over
the company, nothing.
How fun is this gonna be?
lt's about a lot of things.
But more than anything,
it's about what it feels like to be 1 5.
That time when everything's new.
Constantly on the edge
of a broken heart.
lt should be stylized,
and operatic and....
-And...?
-l'd like to direct it.
Whoa, junior. Let's not get
ahead of ourselves.
Walk before you run.
Okay. Well, what do you think?
l like it. l do.
And l think your passion for it is great.
lt's just....
What?
lt's a little soft.
And in case you haven't noticed,
we don't really do soft around here.
We do exploitation.
Look, Larry learned everything
he knows from Roger Corman.
Pitch him Citizen Kane, and unless
there is at least three nude scenes...
...he'd give you a look
like he just smelled a fart.
-l'm not sure l can make that movie.
-My advice to you...
...is to play up the sex.
He'll understand that.
What makes this pitch interesting and
unique is that it's this epic love story...
-...without the sex.
-l'll let you in on a little secret.
Larry Newman is the horniest man
alive. A world-class pervert.
He's on his third wife. She's 23.
And done a lot of work in the Valley,
if you know what l mean.
Which doesn't seem to stop him
from coveting my rack, mind you.
l'm so sorry. That must be terrible
to work in an environment like that.
Please. You've been staring at
the twins for the past 20 minutes.
-l'm....
-Not that l mind, of course.
They are fantastic,
and worth every penny.
What's my point?
-l don't know.
-My point is...
...if you want to make
a movie with us...
...find a way to tell your story...
...while still appealing to
the lowest common denominator.
Pitch Larry the same thing
you pitched me, only throw in...
...a stripper, a three-way, or like
an affair with a teacher or something.
l can do that.
Help line. This is Jen speaking.
Are you sure that
that's actually a problem?
Because speaking as a girl whose...
...boyfriend wants to copulate...
...every waking moment of the day,
l would welcome the break.
l mean, l appreciate the enthusiasm.
lt's just it's-- lt's a little exhausting.
This position, that position,
you want my legs where?
l mean, l can't even wear a skirt...
...anymore, without him taking it
as an invitation to hike it up.
Hey, Witter, nicely done.
Nicely done, indeed.
-What are you talking about?
-The new hire.
Oh, Joey.
Jo.
-Morning, Pace.
-Good morning.
Excuse me.
Are these guys bothering you?
No. They may be trying to,
but l can't exactly tell.
Did any of you go to college?
-We're just showing her the ropes.
-Great.
Are you comfortable, Joey?
This seems a little high.
That's super. Thank you.
Well, great.
l'm glad we got that all fixed up.
But seeing as this is my secretary,
why don't you guys go back to your--
Office temp-- lt's not important
right now. What's important--
She's not gonna be here long,
so don't get too attached.
Bye-bye.
-See you.
-Tell us if you need anything.
Neander-creeps.
Sorry about that.
What is this?
Well, that's your office-warming gift.
You forgot to open it yesterday.
l thought since now
you're a true professional and...
...have an office of your own,
that you deserve...
...useless gadgets for your desk.
Thank you, Miss Potter.
That's very thoughtful.
-Well, l am the best assistant ever.
-Of course you are.
You know, when l got here
this morning...
...you forgot to make the coffee, and
l like to start the morning with a cup.
Oh, right. Well, you were a chef, right?
l mean, you can make it yourself.
Sure. Yeah. Could you run
this down to Tom, please?
Sure.
Are you sure you need
to find a replacement?
She's got another job,
and she's in school...
...and most importantly,
she's unavailable, Rich.
All right, okay.
l'll tell you the truth,
it's becoming a debacle.
This morning, they were all over her.
Like that's not going to happen
with anything remotely female.
She's also my friend. Which makes it
a little awkward to tell her what to do.
Get yourself together.
A reporter is coming in to talk to us...
...and l don't want you to be
snotting all over your tie...
...because you haven't had a nonfat
caffe mocha-latte-grande-whatever.
-A reporter for who?
-l don't know.
Some chick from the financial section
to discuss...
...our little up-and-coming company.
See how the big boys play
and whatnot.
-Cool.
-Yeah, it's swell.
So straighten up. Because it seems like
she is interested in you in particular.
Rising to the top
in record time or something.
Really?
She wants to talk to me, huh?
Seriously, it's the financial section.
Who reads that?
So she wants to talk to you?
Were you eavesdropping?
Well, yes. l'm your assistant.
lt's my job. lt's what l do.
-Hey.
-Hey.
-Did you get me one?
-l didn't know you wanted one.
-Way to be a boyfriend.
-Yeah, right. Good one, Jen.
l still don't know what C.J. stands for
but maybe the C stands for crabby?
What's the matter?
Nothing.
Nothing. That's it?
l don't like you using our problems
in the bedroom to help other people.
Well, first of all, l wasn't aware that
we had problems in the bedroom.
And second of all, why not?
Forget it.
What, is this about sex?
Pretty much, yeah.
Okay.
But you know, if some girl called
and said that her boyfriend was...
...pressuring her into having sex, you
would slip on your very best Dr. Drew...
...and you would tell her
not to stand for it.
lf what you told me about
your past is true...
...then what l don't understand
is why the creeps and scumbags...
...who treated you so poorly
got the benefit of your sex drive.
Whereas guys like me
who actually treat you fairly well....
We get ridiculed for wanting
to have sex with you.
Kudos to you, C.J. That is the nicest
way anybody's ever called me a slut.
What are you talking about?
You're saying, if l can be a slut
for other guys, why not for you.
That's not what l mean.
Please tell me
you're gonna kick ass in there.
l'm relatively certain l won't throw up.
Beyond that, l can't promise anything.
Fabulous.
Dawson Leery.
How the hell
is my favourite young director?
Good to see you, kid.
Good to see you.
You too, Mr. Newman.
Mr. Newman was my father,
and that bastard's long gone.
You just call me Larry.
Have a seat, please.
Okay. Larry.
Okay.
Peter. Yes, Larry?
My ass hurts.
Why does my ass hurt?
l'm sorry, Larry. l-- l forgot.
Actions, Peter, actions. Not excuses.
lt's my prostate.
Damn thing is as big as a cured ham.
Getting old, boy.
lt's just a series of indignities.
You'll find out.
Okay.
So, what are we doing here?
Well--
l can't believe l almost forgot this.
You are my hero, kid.
Thank you, Larry. That-- l--
That means a lot.
The reshoots were tough, but l was
pretty happy with how they turned out.
By the end of it,
l actually felt like a real director.
Right.
No, the reshoots were fine.
What l'm talking about is Natasha.
She was great. l was very happy with
the performance that l got out of her.
Her performance was mediocre at best.
What l'm talking about here
is the fact that you managed...
...to get yourself into her knickers.
Heather tells me everything.
See, here's my thing with directors.
l can tell any schmuck where to put
the camera. How to say ''action'' ....
But when a freaking PA figures out
how to bang the leading lady...
...buddy, that is somebody
l want to be in business with.
And that's you, big fella.
Yeah.
Okay, Dawson. Tell me a story.
Okay. So we open
in a teenager's bedroom.
-Walls plastered with movie posters.
-Now, wait.
This isn't one of those movies
about making movies, is it?
-No. Not at all. Not really.
-Well, either it is or it isn't.
-Well--
-All right, never mind. Go ahead.
Okay. So on the bed--
Boy and a girl.
Both 1 5. Been best friends for
as long as they can remember.
-Are they, you know--?
-No.
-Not yet.
-l got you.
Let the audience get a little wet first.
l like this. This is good.
Yeah. So they're in the bedroom,
and they're talking about movies.
Wait a minute. l gotta ask you
something here.
-ls this a horror movie?
-No, not at all.
This is a coming-of-age story.
Actually, Larry, it's a teen sex comedy.
With heart.
American Pie meets Stand by Me.
But it's got sex, right?
-Sure. Yeah.
-Good. See, this is interesting.
Trends will come
and trends will go, but l say...
...there's always room for a film where
teenage girls take their clothes off.
All right, let's cut to the chase, pally.
My ass is on fire here.
Here's the part that l think
you'll find most interesting.
Our main character thinks of himself
as one of the good guys.
Always trying to do the right thing,
but it gets in the way...
...when it comes to girls.
So it's really interesting to watch him
go through this moral dilemma...
...when he meets this girl at school that
he likes but it turns out that she's....
A stripper.
Stripper? Yeah, student by day,
stripper at night.
See, l've seen this
probably 1 00 times.
But l'll be damned if l wouldn't stay up
until 3 a.m. to watch it on Skinemax.
And you cast one of those
hot little past-her-prime starlets...
...who's willing to show off
her new boob job.
You got yourself a mini-blockbuster
on your hands.
This is good. This is real good.
l like this.
You got yourself a deal.
lt's the best pitch l've heard in--
A long time.
You guys wanna hear the rest of it?
That's just a very small part of it.
Let me give you a little advice, pally.
When somebody tells you
you got yourself a deal, you zip it.
You know, you nod, you smile,
and you look grateful.
You do not say another word.
Another word can only do you harm.
You know what l'm saying?
Absolutely.
Outstanding. Listen, we'll figure out the
beats after lunch. ln the meantime....
Tell me a little more about Natasha.
l hear what you're saying, Walter.
l'm just not willing to push it that hard.
Look, l just don't have
the numbers, okay?
Well, when?
Hold on a second.
Let me ask my secretary.
-Hey, Jo--
-Are you looking for this, Mr. Witter?
Yes, as a matter of fact.
When did this come in?
Well, l didn't want to inundate you
with information.
Good thinking.
Okay, Walter, l got it
right in front of me. Shoot.
Walter?
l pressed a button when l came
in here. l thought it was hold.
That's okay. That's fine.
We can just get him on the line again.
Jo, you're such a smart girl, l thought
this was gonna be easier for you.
Well, l kind of made it a point
not to learn secretarial skills.
You might have wanted
to mention that earlier.
Well, if l'm too good at it...
...then no one will ever let me
do what l really want to do.
l find that very hard to believe,
Miss Potter.
-Hi.
-Hi.
What are you doing here?
Your secretary wasn't at her desk,
so l hope it's okay--
That's fine.
She's-- That's-- She's there.
Well, here. You wouldn't mind
hanging this up for me?
-Do you have an appointment, miss?
-Why, yes. As a matter of fact, l do.
This is Sadia Shaw, Pace,
the reporter l was telling you about.
-Of course.
-Pleased to meet you. Again.
So l guess the rumours
l've been hearing are true, Pacey.
You're certainly moving up
in the world.
So you guys know each other?
Not entirely, but l guess
that's what the interview is for.
l guess so.
ls there anything we can get you
to make you more comfortable?
Jo, would you mind grabbing
us a pot of coffee?
Sure, Mr. Witter. l will get right on that.
l will just whip up a batch.
Thank you.
Yeah, thank you.
Why don't you step in.
And cut! Gentlemen, Satan himself
would be proud.
All right, let's take a break.
You have no idea how....
What the hell are you doing here?
-Moral quandary. You got a minute?
-Bollocks, Leery. You're like some...
...bloody little angel that pops his
head over my shoulder...
...every time l'm about to engage in
meaningless sex with a comely extra.
-You are a bloody moral quandary.
-Excuse me.
l'm in the band, Todd.
My apologies, love.
Can you ever forgive me?
Sure this can't wait 5 minutes?
Five minutes? What a treat.
So, Rich...
...would you say
that Pacey's arrival...
...and your rise in profitability
had a direct correlation?
Well, let's not get crazy here. We all
know how unpredictable the market is.
lt just so happens we also started
to push a new stock around that time...
-...and it did very well for us.
-And that would be Stepatech.
Yes, and l was the first person
who went out with Stepatech.
Yeah, that's correct.
Pacey was the first.
Excuse me, Pace. Jack's on one.
That's okay.
You can hold all my calls. Thanks.
Even from your roomie?
Yes, even my roommate.
Okay. My bad. Carry on.
l apologize for that.
lt's her first day.
l understand. This must be quite a coup
for you, Pacey, having an assistant.
l heard that until recently,
you were a cook.
Yeah, actually. l did dabble for a while
in the food service industry...
...but l'm quite--
The buttons stick on those sometimes.
l apologize.
-Where was l?
-l wish l could remember. l was riveted.
Fresh coffee?
Great. You can just put it
on the desk.
Pacey takes tons
of sugar in his coffee.
You know, he puts sugar in
his Fruity Pebbles. Can you believe it?
Thanks for your help, Miss Potter.
That will be all.
And how do you take yours?
Just a splash of cream. Nonfat,
if you have it, please. Thank you.
Of course.
-Oh, God! Sorry.
-Hey!
Oh, my God, l am so sorry.
-l can get it.
-Your pants. lt's my first day.
-l'm so sorry.
-l got it.
Witter, why don't we continue
this interview in my office?
l'm sure you'll be more
comfortable there. lt's much bigger.
lt was an accident.
Really. An accident.
Now, why do l find that
so hard to believe?
You better get going. You don't want
to miss your 1 5 minutes of fame.
l don't understand
what you're so torn up about, mate.
A job is a job.
Work begets work.
-Do you know what l mean?
-Yeah. But l just...
...have a really hard time doing
something that l don't believe in.
l learned so much working
for you in the reshoots...
...but l lost a chunk of my soul
in the process.
You're such a bloody
drama queen, Leery.
The trick is to keep working...
...so one day you get to a point where
you can write your own ticket.
What if once you get there
you don't know who you are anymore?
You have to decide what kind of
filmmaker you want to be.
Me, l'm a journeyman.
l go where the jobs are.
Maybe l'm just not cut out
for any of this.
Oh, l see.
So this is that bit where
l give you a bit of a lift, is it?
-No.
-Because l'm not gonna do it.
Even if you are a talented
little bugger.
Even if you are light years
ahead of where l was at your age.
All right, all right. That's enough.
-What's that?
-Go make a movie.
-With 1 0 bucks?
-lt's a start.
lf you're not willing to do
it their way, with their money...
...then don't cash the check.
Write your own.
Sometimes, with a little bit of money
and a lot of faith...
...you can almost will an entire movie
into existence. That's what l did.
-How did it turn out?
-lt was rubbish.
But it got me here.
Here l am. Doing the devil's
work in sunny Los Angeles.
Listen to me.
l know no matter what you do...
...you're gonna do it with heart,
and balls and swagger.
And that is all that matters
in this world. Remember that.
Go on, get out of here.
Go change your diaper or something.
Well, what was that earlier?
How do you know that woman?
The reporter?
l've met her once.
At a function. Months ago.
-l didn't even know her name.
-Why does that not shock me?
We were never formally introduced.
l mean, would it have killed you to
have acted professionally today?
Come on, Pacey.
You guys are pigs.
According to caveman standards,
l'm not the professional type?
What is that?
The type that can pour...
...a cup of coffee without painting it all
over the walls? You're not that type.
That's all an assistant is to you,
isn't it? Some chick who pours coffee.
l didn't realize that you wanted to
be a career assistant.
Why do you think Rich fired Marcy?
Because she's over 30.
Have you ever even noticed
the assistants here?
There is no good way
to answer that question.
They look like the Maxim Girls
of the office out there.
l guess l had never noticed.
Because when l come here,
it's to do my job.
Which l was pretty good at
until you came here and sabotaged me.
Get real, Pacey.
All l'm asking for is a little respect.
A little human kindness.
That's the whole point. l don't have
to respect you or be kind to you.
-You're my secretary--
-Oh, that's the whole point?
-You regressed--
-Woman! You are wrecking my head.
Could you not just accept the
temporary income with a smile...
-...and maybe a little grace?
-No.
Not if this is how you plan on
treating your future assistants.
Frankly, Pacey, l'm beginning
to understand the nickname.
What nickname?
They call you witless.
Who calls me witless?
l think that would be unprofessional
of me to disclose such information.
Where was it when you were pouring
cream down the reporter's leg?
Oh, please. Don't say '' reporter'' ...
...like you haven't burned
that girl's name into your memory.
You know, l don't think this is the
proper arena to vent your jealousy.
Jealous?
Hardly. Okay, l might have had
some sort of psychotic lapse...
...but that was odd, really,
because why would l be jealous?
-l don't know.
-lt's not like you're attracted...
-...to the shrewd, business type, right?
-What does it matter?
Because you're not jealous, right?
You know what?
l'd like to issue an apology.
Take a letter, would you?
You're gonna need a pen and paper.
Dear Miss Shaw....
lt was wonderful to see you
this afternoon.
No, no. Go back.
lt was lovely to see you again.
However, l would like to take
this opportunity to apologize...
...for my secretary's behaviour.
Because, you see, she's new.
And very bad.
l missed the last part.
lt was something moronic
followed by something inane.
l'm headed out, Witter.
Jeez, man.
At least l waited a week with mine.
Pigs.
We're all pigs.
Whatever is the matter with you two?
-C.J. thinks l'm a slut.
-l do not.
Why would you think
such a thing, Jennifer?
-Because he pretty much said so.
-No, l didn't.
Well, C.J., why do you think
Jennifer feels this way?
Well, she seemed to
like having sex...
...right up until she started
having sex with me.
That's not true.
-l see the problem here.
-You do?
C.J....
Jennifer is attempting for
the very first time in her young life...
...to have a full, well-rounded
relationship with a boy.
And, Jennifer,
C.J.'s problem is that he...
...like any young man of pure heart
and good intention is worried...
...that you will always be more
attracted to the rakes of this world.
Well, you can tell C.J. that nice pecs
and a good six-pack only go so far.
You can tell Jennifer
that what she said...
...didn't make me feel
the slightest bit better.
l have nice pecs.
Jennifer?
You can tell C.J.
that the best sex...
...that l've ever had in my
life has been with him.
That will do.
You can tell Jen that l'm sorry
if l made her feel bad.
And that l was never insinuating
that she be of questionable morality.
And that l will snuggle with her
anytime she wants.
Well, l think my work is done here.
l have peace to broker
elsewhere in Beantown.
-l'm so sorry.
-No. No. l'm sorry.
l'm not sorry about wanting to
have sex with you. That's how it is.
-That's how it's always gonna be.
-You promise?
Oh, l promise.
l think l'm in the mood.
ln the mood for what?
-No, it just passed.
-No. l-- l was just kidding.
Shall we, then?
Well, l think
we're in pretty good shape here.
Just make sure that the fire
at the strip club is spectacular.
l mean:
All right?
Now, have you thought
about a title, Dawson?
-A ti-- No. l haven't actually.
-l got one for you.
Sunset Stripped.
-Sunset Stripped.
-What do you think?
l...
...think it's very clever.
Economical.
lt works well.
You know, being that her--
Her name is Sunset.
And l think it will help with
the foreign too. Which reminds me....
A minimum of three
nude scenes, please?
That's not including the scenes
in the strip bar.
l want this picture to be
wall-to-wall boobs.
Okay?
This is gonna be
a very good picture.
My friends, thank you. That's it.
Congrats on a great meeting.
Good job, sweetie.
-Congratulations.
-Attagirl.
-Let's do this.
-Very good. Good work.
Nice going. Nice going, everybody.
You know what? Excuse me.
l'm sorry.
Well, what is it? Out with it.
l came in here the other day because
l wanted to tell a story about...
...something small, something
personal, something l've been...
...trying to figure out
for quite some time.
l wanted to write about growing up,
and why it's so hard.
l wanted to write about falling
in love and why...
...it can't last, but at the same time,
how it lasts forever.
And somehow, that got twisted into
a story about a stripper.
l guess what l'm trying to say is,
l can't do this.
l appreciate the offer...
...and the confidence, but, l just
wouldn't feel right taking your money.
Are you absolutely sure about this?
Yeah. Yeah, l am.
Put together a directors list. l want
somebody by the end of the week.
-Yeah.
-Nice knowing you, kid.
The best of luck to you, huh?
-Yeah.
-All right.
Here. Got somebody here in mind.
This is somebody we can call.
Hey, Mr. Witter.
What can l get you?
Oh, nothing, actually.
l'm kind of partial to this jacket.
-Not the best of first days, l'll admit.
-No.
l feel some worlds
should never collide.
Plus, how are you ever gonna
take me seriously-- l got it.
--now that you know
the guys call me witless?
My whole jealousy act really
didn't showcase my best features.
Actually, you know,
l kind of liked that part.
You were just hoping
she and l would wrestle.
What kind of man
do you take me for?
l guess l'm just not used
to office combat.
l'm more of a drunk wrangler.
That's good news, because l wanted
to tell you, don't quit your night job.
What do you mean?
Well, l mean that l never want to
see you in my place of work again.
Regardless of how hot
you look in pinstripes.
You're firing me?
Yeah, but, l mean,
can you think of any better solution?
ls this because of the whole coffee
thing, Pacey? l can make coffee.
l can serve it and everything.
l'm nothing if not a professional server.
lt's not about the coffee thing.
-Okay?
-Then, what's it about?
Jo, how can you expect me to
concentrate if you're around all day?
Am l really that much
of a distraction, Pacey?
l mean, my desk is outside
of your office. You can't even see me.
But l know you're there. And l would
not have come as far as l have...
...if you were 5 feet away from me
all the time. l just wouldn't. Trust me.
Really?
And why is that?
Okay, now you're just milking this
for all it's worth, aren't you?
Fine.
l wouldn't be able to concentrate since
every time you're 5 feet away...
...or 25 feet away from me,
for that matter...
...there's really only one thing
that l want to do.
Do tell.
l'm sorry, Mr. Witter. l don't think
l can work for you anymore.
-Fine. Just remember that l fired you.
-No, no.
l quit.
You have to let me keep my dignity.
Okay, but if l fire you,
then you get severance pay.
Just remember, you'll never
find another girl like me.
l prefer to think of my secretaries
as women, but okay.
Enough of that. l think we can both
agree that this wasn't the best idea.
No doubt.
My current thinking is
that relationships...
...make terrible platforms
for multitasking.
Pity, that. l was looking forward to
seeing you on a regular basis.
Well, l just have to make a point
to make more time, then, won't l?
You almost done here?
l just have to close up the register.
Well. That's excellent,
because you know, l was thinking....
l just happen to live
right across the street.
l was thinking that too.
-Really? What a coincidence.
-l'll be right there.
l'll see you soon.
ls there any chance you might be
willing to wear that secretary's outfit?
You had your chance.
We'll talk about that later.
Hey.
Eddie.
They had individual towels
in the bathroom.
Really?
Laid out in baskets and everything?
Well, if that's not the hallmark
of a classy joint, l don't know what is.
Well, you do definitely know
how to treat a lady.
l gotta spend my money
on something.
Oh, that came out totally wrong.
Because you are not-- Not something
that l just would spend money on.
lt's not like a possession--
But l would. And l do.
Well, why do you think l'm with you?
Okay.
How's work going, Pace?
-lt's going really well, thank you.
-Good.
l got a promotion, actually.
Really? To what?
l don't know.
There's no title, but l get an office...
...and l get a secretary.
That's kind of cool.
-Yeah.
-Fancy.
You certainly won't want
to talk to me after tonight, so....
You see,
l knew you would understand.
Don't kick a girl when she's down.
l'm strapped for cash, and they cut...
...my hours because everyone's on
spring break, drinking elsewhere.
l guess that means you're
free for dinner next Saturday.
Well, anything for a free meal.
Classy lady like you,
l might even throw in a free dessert.
You must be serious about me.
Okay, well....
l think that's my cue.
-l'm just gonna...
-Okay.
...cut my losses.
l'll have my secretary
call you about dinner.
Pacey, l had a lovely time.
So did l. Good night.
Good night.
Good morning, sunshine.
-Where's Grams?
-She's...
...downstairs, stirring porridge.
Really?
Shall we, then?
Shall we what?
Oh, sh--
Shall we that.
-Yeah, that.
-Yeah.
No.
-No?
-No.
Not really in the mood.
Mood? Who needs mood?
-What?
-Nothing a little toothpaste won't fix.
Well, fine then, don't kiss me.
See if l care.
Not so sexy when you're pouting.
Do you know how many of these were
in here when l bought them?
-Twelve.
-Know how many are in here now?
Twelve.
We haven't had sex in a week, Jen.
-That's hardly true.
-Not since Grams went to bingo.
That was a week ago today.
What am l, sex on a stick?
l'm not a boy.
l don't have the same kind of
sex drive that you do, all right?
Not to mention the fact that l--
l live in terror of Grams walking in on
us in the middle of some ungodly act.
So maybe you can understand
why l'm not jumping...
...your bones every chance l get.
Wow, then it's true what they say.
-What?
-Once you start dating...
-...the sex goes right out the window.
-You are such a drama queen.
You know, there are other ways
for us to be intimate.
-l'm all for that stuff.
-You know, so am l.
Well, come on.
ls this what you were
talking about? Snuggling?
Yeah.
What did you think
l was talking about?
Nothing.
Check her out.
Jo. Hi.
To what do l owe this honour?
l brought you an office-warming gift.
You won't get in trouble
for having visitors, will you?
No, no. Not if you stop
distracting the boys.
You want to step into my office?
How professional.
So everyone's just on the phone.
ls this what you do all day?
lt's a little more complicated than that.
Can l grab those? Thanks, Tom.
So, what makes you so busy now
that you need an assistant?
l don't know, but to tell you the truth,
she kind of freaks me out.
Marcy? Hi.
-l'd like to introduce my friend, Jo.
-Nice to meet you.
FYl for you, Mr. Witter,
the meeting's been pushed to 3...
...and Mr. Rinaldi's in your office...
...and when you have a moment,
l'd like a word.
-A word?
-Don't patronize me, Mr. Witter.
l'm sorry, ma'am. l'm....
You can talk now if you like.
lf you must know, Mr. Rinaldi fired me,
and l'll be leaving at the end of the day.
Just breaking it in for you.
Oh, who's the looker?
You do realize that
l'm standing right here?
And you do realize that was
a compliment, right?
Rich, this is Joey.
Joey, you remember Rich.
Rich, why is it, exactly,
that you fired my secretary?
Well, she tried to kick me
out of your office.
Doesn't that deserve a raise?
Well, l didn't like her attitude, Witter.
Or the cut of her jib, for that matter.
You can just fire somebody because
you don't like the way they look?
-lsn't that discrimination?
-ls she human resources?
No. No, no.
She's my-- A friend of mine.
So why aren't you in school today?
-l'm on spring break.
-What do you do 9 to 5, Johnny?
Joey.
Nothing at the moment.
l say you spend the next 2 weeks
filling in here.
You know how to play office, right?
Why don't you set that up, Witter.
-He's kidding, right?
-Rich?
No, he doesn't really have much
of a sense of humour.
Well, how much does it pay?
l don't know. l think it's like
600 bucks a week.
Are you serious?
-Would you want to do it?
-You have to admit, Pace...
...l mean, that is perfect timing.
l'm broke.
We never see each other anymore.
Yeah, but hanging out by the coffee
machine is not exactly a date, is it?
Who's kidding who, Pace?
Now, we both know...
...that the boss doesn't hang out
by the coffee machine.
-That would be the assistant's job.
-You're sure you'd be comfortable...
...with the whole boss-secretary
power relationship?
We both know who's boss here.
Okay. l mean, what's the worst
that could happen, right?
Barring me taking over
the company, nothing.
How fun is this gonna be?
lt's about a lot of things.
But more than anything,
it's about what it feels like to be 1 5.
That time when everything's new.
Constantly on the edge
of a broken heart.
lt should be stylized,
and operatic and....
-And...?
-l'd like to direct it.
Whoa, junior. Let's not get
ahead of ourselves.
Walk before you run.
Okay. Well, what do you think?
l like it. l do.
And l think your passion for it is great.
lt's just....
What?
lt's a little soft.
And in case you haven't noticed,
we don't really do soft around here.
We do exploitation.
Look, Larry learned everything
he knows from Roger Corman.
Pitch him Citizen Kane, and unless
there is at least three nude scenes...
...he'd give you a look
like he just smelled a fart.
-l'm not sure l can make that movie.
-My advice to you...
...is to play up the sex.
He'll understand that.
What makes this pitch interesting and
unique is that it's this epic love story...
-...without the sex.
-l'll let you in on a little secret.
Larry Newman is the horniest man
alive. A world-class pervert.
He's on his third wife. She's 23.
And done a lot of work in the Valley,
if you know what l mean.
Which doesn't seem to stop him
from coveting my rack, mind you.
l'm so sorry. That must be terrible
to work in an environment like that.
Please. You've been staring at
the twins for the past 20 minutes.
-l'm....
-Not that l mind, of course.
They are fantastic,
and worth every penny.
What's my point?
-l don't know.
-My point is...
...if you want to make
a movie with us...
...find a way to tell your story...
...while still appealing to
the lowest common denominator.
Pitch Larry the same thing
you pitched me, only throw in...
...a stripper, a three-way, or like
an affair with a teacher or something.
l can do that.
Help line. This is Jen speaking.
Are you sure that
that's actually a problem?
Because speaking as a girl whose...
...boyfriend wants to copulate...
...every waking moment of the day,
l would welcome the break.
l mean, l appreciate the enthusiasm.
lt's just it's-- lt's a little exhausting.
This position, that position,
you want my legs where?
l mean, l can't even wear a skirt...
...anymore, without him taking it
as an invitation to hike it up.
Hey, Witter, nicely done.
Nicely done, indeed.
-What are you talking about?
-The new hire.
Oh, Joey.
Jo.
-Morning, Pace.
-Good morning.
Excuse me.
Are these guys bothering you?
No. They may be trying to,
but l can't exactly tell.
Did any of you go to college?
-We're just showing her the ropes.
-Great.
Are you comfortable, Joey?
This seems a little high.
That's super. Thank you.
Well, great.
l'm glad we got that all fixed up.
But seeing as this is my secretary,
why don't you guys go back to your--
Office temp-- lt's not important
right now. What's important--
She's not gonna be here long,
so don't get too attached.
Bye-bye.
-See you.
-Tell us if you need anything.
Neander-creeps.
Sorry about that.
What is this?
Well, that's your office-warming gift.
You forgot to open it yesterday.
l thought since now
you're a true professional and...
...have an office of your own,
that you deserve...
...useless gadgets for your desk.
Thank you, Miss Potter.
That's very thoughtful.
-Well, l am the best assistant ever.
-Of course you are.
You know, when l got here
this morning...
...you forgot to make the coffee, and
l like to start the morning with a cup.
Oh, right. Well, you were a chef, right?
l mean, you can make it yourself.
Sure. Yeah. Could you run
this down to Tom, please?
Sure.
Are you sure you need
to find a replacement?
She's got another job,
and she's in school...
...and most importantly,
she's unavailable, Rich.
All right, okay.
l'll tell you the truth,
it's becoming a debacle.
This morning, they were all over her.
Like that's not going to happen
with anything remotely female.
She's also my friend. Which makes it
a little awkward to tell her what to do.
Get yourself together.
A reporter is coming in to talk to us...
...and l don't want you to be
snotting all over your tie...
...because you haven't had a nonfat
caffe mocha-latte-grande-whatever.
-A reporter for who?
-l don't know.
Some chick from the financial section
to discuss...
...our little up-and-coming company.
See how the big boys play
and whatnot.
-Cool.
-Yeah, it's swell.
So straighten up. Because it seems like
she is interested in you in particular.
Rising to the top
in record time or something.
Really?
She wants to talk to me, huh?
Seriously, it's the financial section.
Who reads that?
So she wants to talk to you?
Were you eavesdropping?
Well, yes. l'm your assistant.
lt's my job. lt's what l do.
-Hey.
-Hey.
-Did you get me one?
-l didn't know you wanted one.
-Way to be a boyfriend.
-Yeah, right. Good one, Jen.
l still don't know what C.J. stands for
but maybe the C stands for crabby?
What's the matter?
Nothing.
Nothing. That's it?
l don't like you using our problems
in the bedroom to help other people.
Well, first of all, l wasn't aware that
we had problems in the bedroom.
And second of all, why not?
Forget it.
What, is this about sex?
Pretty much, yeah.
Okay.
But you know, if some girl called
and said that her boyfriend was...
...pressuring her into having sex, you
would slip on your very best Dr. Drew...
...and you would tell her
not to stand for it.
lf what you told me about
your past is true...
...then what l don't understand
is why the creeps and scumbags...
...who treated you so poorly
got the benefit of your sex drive.
Whereas guys like me
who actually treat you fairly well....
We get ridiculed for wanting
to have sex with you.
Kudos to you, C.J. That is the nicest
way anybody's ever called me a slut.
What are you talking about?
You're saying, if l can be a slut
for other guys, why not for you.
That's not what l mean.
Please tell me
you're gonna kick ass in there.
l'm relatively certain l won't throw up.
Beyond that, l can't promise anything.
Fabulous.
Dawson Leery.
How the hell
is my favourite young director?
Good to see you, kid.
Good to see you.
You too, Mr. Newman.
Mr. Newman was my father,
and that bastard's long gone.
You just call me Larry.
Have a seat, please.
Okay. Larry.
Okay.
Peter. Yes, Larry?
My ass hurts.
Why does my ass hurt?
l'm sorry, Larry. l-- l forgot.
Actions, Peter, actions. Not excuses.
lt's my prostate.
Damn thing is as big as a cured ham.
Getting old, boy.
lt's just a series of indignities.
You'll find out.
Okay.
So, what are we doing here?
Well--
l can't believe l almost forgot this.
You are my hero, kid.
Thank you, Larry. That-- l--
That means a lot.
The reshoots were tough, but l was
pretty happy with how they turned out.
By the end of it,
l actually felt like a real director.
Right.
No, the reshoots were fine.
What l'm talking about is Natasha.
She was great. l was very happy with
the performance that l got out of her.
Her performance was mediocre at best.
What l'm talking about here
is the fact that you managed...
...to get yourself into her knickers.
Heather tells me everything.
See, here's my thing with directors.
l can tell any schmuck where to put
the camera. How to say ''action'' ....
But when a freaking PA figures out
how to bang the leading lady...
...buddy, that is somebody
l want to be in business with.
And that's you, big fella.
Yeah.
Okay, Dawson. Tell me a story.
Okay. So we open
in a teenager's bedroom.
-Walls plastered with movie posters.
-Now, wait.
This isn't one of those movies
about making movies, is it?
-No. Not at all. Not really.
-Well, either it is or it isn't.
-Well--
-All right, never mind. Go ahead.
Okay. So on the bed--
Boy and a girl.
Both 1 5. Been best friends for
as long as they can remember.
-Are they, you know--?
-No.
-Not yet.
-l got you.
Let the audience get a little wet first.
l like this. This is good.
Yeah. So they're in the bedroom,
and they're talking about movies.
Wait a minute. l gotta ask you
something here.
-ls this a horror movie?
-No, not at all.
This is a coming-of-age story.
Actually, Larry, it's a teen sex comedy.
With heart.
American Pie meets Stand by Me.
But it's got sex, right?
-Sure. Yeah.
-Good. See, this is interesting.
Trends will come
and trends will go, but l say...
...there's always room for a film where
teenage girls take their clothes off.
All right, let's cut to the chase, pally.
My ass is on fire here.
Here's the part that l think
you'll find most interesting.
Our main character thinks of himself
as one of the good guys.
Always trying to do the right thing,
but it gets in the way...
...when it comes to girls.
So it's really interesting to watch him
go through this moral dilemma...
...when he meets this girl at school that
he likes but it turns out that she's....
A stripper.
Stripper? Yeah, student by day,
stripper at night.
See, l've seen this
probably 1 00 times.
But l'll be damned if l wouldn't stay up
until 3 a.m. to watch it on Skinemax.
And you cast one of those
hot little past-her-prime starlets...
...who's willing to show off
her new boob job.
You got yourself a mini-blockbuster
on your hands.
This is good. This is real good.
l like this.
You got yourself a deal.
lt's the best pitch l've heard in--
A long time.
You guys wanna hear the rest of it?
That's just a very small part of it.
Let me give you a little advice, pally.
When somebody tells you
you got yourself a deal, you zip it.
You know, you nod, you smile,
and you look grateful.
You do not say another word.
Another word can only do you harm.
You know what l'm saying?
Absolutely.
Outstanding. Listen, we'll figure out the
beats after lunch. ln the meantime....
Tell me a little more about Natasha.
l hear what you're saying, Walter.
l'm just not willing to push it that hard.
Look, l just don't have
the numbers, okay?
Well, when?
Hold on a second.
Let me ask my secretary.
-Hey, Jo--
-Are you looking for this, Mr. Witter?
Yes, as a matter of fact.
When did this come in?
Well, l didn't want to inundate you
with information.
Good thinking.
Okay, Walter, l got it
right in front of me. Shoot.
Walter?
l pressed a button when l came
in here. l thought it was hold.
That's okay. That's fine.
We can just get him on the line again.
Jo, you're such a smart girl, l thought
this was gonna be easier for you.
Well, l kind of made it a point
not to learn secretarial skills.
You might have wanted
to mention that earlier.
Well, if l'm too good at it...
...then no one will ever let me
do what l really want to do.
l find that very hard to believe,
Miss Potter.
-Hi.
-Hi.
What are you doing here?
Your secretary wasn't at her desk,
so l hope it's okay--
That's fine.
She's-- That's-- She's there.
Well, here. You wouldn't mind
hanging this up for me?
-Do you have an appointment, miss?
-Why, yes. As a matter of fact, l do.
This is Sadia Shaw, Pace,
the reporter l was telling you about.
-Of course.
-Pleased to meet you. Again.
So l guess the rumours
l've been hearing are true, Pacey.
You're certainly moving up
in the world.
So you guys know each other?
Not entirely, but l guess
that's what the interview is for.
l guess so.
ls there anything we can get you
to make you more comfortable?
Jo, would you mind grabbing
us a pot of coffee?
Sure, Mr. Witter. l will get right on that.
l will just whip up a batch.
Thank you.
Yeah, thank you.
Why don't you step in.
And cut! Gentlemen, Satan himself
would be proud.
All right, let's take a break.
You have no idea how....
What the hell are you doing here?
-Moral quandary. You got a minute?
-Bollocks, Leery. You're like some...
...bloody little angel that pops his
head over my shoulder...
...every time l'm about to engage in
meaningless sex with a comely extra.
-You are a bloody moral quandary.
-Excuse me.
l'm in the band, Todd.
My apologies, love.
Can you ever forgive me?
Sure this can't wait 5 minutes?
Five minutes? What a treat.
So, Rich...
...would you say
that Pacey's arrival...
...and your rise in profitability
had a direct correlation?
Well, let's not get crazy here. We all
know how unpredictable the market is.
lt just so happens we also started
to push a new stock around that time...
-...and it did very well for us.
-And that would be Stepatech.
Yes, and l was the first person
who went out with Stepatech.
Yeah, that's correct.
Pacey was the first.
Excuse me, Pace. Jack's on one.
That's okay.
You can hold all my calls. Thanks.
Even from your roomie?
Yes, even my roommate.
Okay. My bad. Carry on.
l apologize for that.
lt's her first day.
l understand. This must be quite a coup
for you, Pacey, having an assistant.
l heard that until recently,
you were a cook.
Yeah, actually. l did dabble for a while
in the food service industry...
...but l'm quite--
The buttons stick on those sometimes.
l apologize.
-Where was l?
-l wish l could remember. l was riveted.
Fresh coffee?
Great. You can just put it
on the desk.
Pacey takes tons
of sugar in his coffee.
You know, he puts sugar in
his Fruity Pebbles. Can you believe it?
Thanks for your help, Miss Potter.
That will be all.
And how do you take yours?
Just a splash of cream. Nonfat,
if you have it, please. Thank you.
Of course.
-Oh, God! Sorry.
-Hey!
Oh, my God, l am so sorry.
-l can get it.
-Your pants. lt's my first day.
-l'm so sorry.
-l got it.
Witter, why don't we continue
this interview in my office?
l'm sure you'll be more
comfortable there. lt's much bigger.
lt was an accident.
Really. An accident.
Now, why do l find that
so hard to believe?
You better get going. You don't want
to miss your 1 5 minutes of fame.
l don't understand
what you're so torn up about, mate.
A job is a job.
Work begets work.
-Do you know what l mean?
-Yeah. But l just...
...have a really hard time doing
something that l don't believe in.
l learned so much working
for you in the reshoots...
...but l lost a chunk of my soul
in the process.
You're such a bloody
drama queen, Leery.
The trick is to keep working...
...so one day you get to a point where
you can write your own ticket.
What if once you get there
you don't know who you are anymore?
You have to decide what kind of
filmmaker you want to be.
Me, l'm a journeyman.
l go where the jobs are.
Maybe l'm just not cut out
for any of this.
Oh, l see.
So this is that bit where
l give you a bit of a lift, is it?
-No.
-Because l'm not gonna do it.
Even if you are a talented
little bugger.
Even if you are light years
ahead of where l was at your age.
All right, all right. That's enough.
-What's that?
-Go make a movie.
-With 1 0 bucks?
-lt's a start.
lf you're not willing to do
it their way, with their money...
...then don't cash the check.
Write your own.
Sometimes, with a little bit of money
and a lot of faith...
...you can almost will an entire movie
into existence. That's what l did.
-How did it turn out?
-lt was rubbish.
But it got me here.
Here l am. Doing the devil's
work in sunny Los Angeles.
Listen to me.
l know no matter what you do...
...you're gonna do it with heart,
and balls and swagger.
And that is all that matters
in this world. Remember that.
Go on, get out of here.
Go change your diaper or something.
Well, what was that earlier?
How do you know that woman?
The reporter?
l've met her once.
At a function. Months ago.
-l didn't even know her name.
-Why does that not shock me?
We were never formally introduced.
l mean, would it have killed you to
have acted professionally today?
Come on, Pacey.
You guys are pigs.
According to caveman standards,
l'm not the professional type?
What is that?
The type that can pour...
...a cup of coffee without painting it all
over the walls? You're not that type.
That's all an assistant is to you,
isn't it? Some chick who pours coffee.
l didn't realize that you wanted to
be a career assistant.
Why do you think Rich fired Marcy?
Because she's over 30.
Have you ever even noticed
the assistants here?
There is no good way
to answer that question.
They look like the Maxim Girls
of the office out there.
l guess l had never noticed.
Because when l come here,
it's to do my job.
Which l was pretty good at
until you came here and sabotaged me.
Get real, Pacey.
All l'm asking for is a little respect.
A little human kindness.
That's the whole point. l don't have
to respect you or be kind to you.
-You're my secretary--
-Oh, that's the whole point?
-You regressed--
-Woman! You are wrecking my head.
Could you not just accept the
temporary income with a smile...
-...and maybe a little grace?
-No.
Not if this is how you plan on
treating your future assistants.
Frankly, Pacey, l'm beginning
to understand the nickname.
What nickname?
They call you witless.
Who calls me witless?
l think that would be unprofessional
of me to disclose such information.
Where was it when you were pouring
cream down the reporter's leg?
Oh, please. Don't say '' reporter'' ...
...like you haven't burned
that girl's name into your memory.
You know, l don't think this is the
proper arena to vent your jealousy.
Jealous?
Hardly. Okay, l might have had
some sort of psychotic lapse...
...but that was odd, really,
because why would l be jealous?
-l don't know.
-lt's not like you're attracted...
-...to the shrewd, business type, right?
-What does it matter?
Because you're not jealous, right?
You know what?
l'd like to issue an apology.
Take a letter, would you?
You're gonna need a pen and paper.
Dear Miss Shaw....
lt was wonderful to see you
this afternoon.
No, no. Go back.
lt was lovely to see you again.
However, l would like to take
this opportunity to apologize...
...for my secretary's behaviour.
Because, you see, she's new.
And very bad.
l missed the last part.
lt was something moronic
followed by something inane.
l'm headed out, Witter.
Jeez, man.
At least l waited a week with mine.
Pigs.
We're all pigs.
Whatever is the matter with you two?
-C.J. thinks l'm a slut.
-l do not.
Why would you think
such a thing, Jennifer?
-Because he pretty much said so.
-No, l didn't.
Well, C.J., why do you think
Jennifer feels this way?
Well, she seemed to
like having sex...
...right up until she started
having sex with me.
That's not true.
-l see the problem here.
-You do?
C.J....
Jennifer is attempting for
the very first time in her young life...
...to have a full, well-rounded
relationship with a boy.
And, Jennifer,
C.J.'s problem is that he...
...like any young man of pure heart
and good intention is worried...
...that you will always be more
attracted to the rakes of this world.
Well, you can tell C.J. that nice pecs
and a good six-pack only go so far.
You can tell Jennifer
that what she said...
...didn't make me feel
the slightest bit better.
l have nice pecs.
Jennifer?
You can tell C.J.
that the best sex...
...that l've ever had in my
life has been with him.
That will do.
You can tell Jen that l'm sorry
if l made her feel bad.
And that l was never insinuating
that she be of questionable morality.
And that l will snuggle with her
anytime she wants.
Well, l think my work is done here.
l have peace to broker
elsewhere in Beantown.
-l'm so sorry.
-No. No. l'm sorry.
l'm not sorry about wanting to
have sex with you. That's how it is.
-That's how it's always gonna be.
-You promise?
Oh, l promise.
l think l'm in the mood.
ln the mood for what?
-No, it just passed.
-No. l-- l was just kidding.
Shall we, then?
Well, l think
we're in pretty good shape here.
Just make sure that the fire
at the strip club is spectacular.
l mean:
All right?
Now, have you thought
about a title, Dawson?
-A ti-- No. l haven't actually.
-l got one for you.
Sunset Stripped.
-Sunset Stripped.
-What do you think?
l...
...think it's very clever.
Economical.
lt works well.
You know, being that her--
Her name is Sunset.
And l think it will help with
the foreign too. Which reminds me....
A minimum of three
nude scenes, please?
That's not including the scenes
in the strip bar.
l want this picture to be
wall-to-wall boobs.
Okay?
This is gonna be
a very good picture.
My friends, thank you. That's it.
Congrats on a great meeting.
Good job, sweetie.
-Congratulations.
-Attagirl.
-Let's do this.
-Very good. Good work.
Nice going. Nice going, everybody.
You know what? Excuse me.
l'm sorry.
Well, what is it? Out with it.
l came in here the other day because
l wanted to tell a story about...
...something small, something
personal, something l've been...
...trying to figure out
for quite some time.
l wanted to write about growing up,
and why it's so hard.
l wanted to write about falling
in love and why...
...it can't last, but at the same time,
how it lasts forever.
And somehow, that got twisted into
a story about a stripper.
l guess what l'm trying to say is,
l can't do this.
l appreciate the offer...
...and the confidence, but, l just
wouldn't feel right taking your money.
Are you absolutely sure about this?
Yeah. Yeah, l am.
Put together a directors list. l want
somebody by the end of the week.
-Yeah.
-Nice knowing you, kid.
The best of luck to you, huh?
-Yeah.
-All right.
Here. Got somebody here in mind.
This is somebody we can call.
Hey, Mr. Witter.
What can l get you?
Oh, nothing, actually.
l'm kind of partial to this jacket.
-Not the best of first days, l'll admit.
-No.
l feel some worlds
should never collide.
Plus, how are you ever gonna
take me seriously-- l got it.
--now that you know
the guys call me witless?
My whole jealousy act really
didn't showcase my best features.
Actually, you know,
l kind of liked that part.
You were just hoping
she and l would wrestle.
What kind of man
do you take me for?
l guess l'm just not used
to office combat.
l'm more of a drunk wrangler.
That's good news, because l wanted
to tell you, don't quit your night job.
What do you mean?
Well, l mean that l never want to
see you in my place of work again.
Regardless of how hot
you look in pinstripes.
You're firing me?
Yeah, but, l mean,
can you think of any better solution?
ls this because of the whole coffee
thing, Pacey? l can make coffee.
l can serve it and everything.
l'm nothing if not a professional server.
lt's not about the coffee thing.
-Okay?
-Then, what's it about?
Jo, how can you expect me to
concentrate if you're around all day?
Am l really that much
of a distraction, Pacey?
l mean, my desk is outside
of your office. You can't even see me.
But l know you're there. And l would
not have come as far as l have...
...if you were 5 feet away from me
all the time. l just wouldn't. Trust me.
Really?
And why is that?
Okay, now you're just milking this
for all it's worth, aren't you?
Fine.
l wouldn't be able to concentrate since
every time you're 5 feet away...
...or 25 feet away from me,
for that matter...
...there's really only one thing
that l want to do.
Do tell.
l'm sorry, Mr. Witter. l don't think
l can work for you anymore.
-Fine. Just remember that l fired you.
-No, no.
l quit.
You have to let me keep my dignity.
Okay, but if l fire you,
then you get severance pay.
Just remember, you'll never
find another girl like me.
l prefer to think of my secretaries
as women, but okay.
Enough of that. l think we can both
agree that this wasn't the best idea.
No doubt.
My current thinking is
that relationships...
...make terrible platforms
for multitasking.
Pity, that. l was looking forward to
seeing you on a regular basis.
Well, l just have to make a point
to make more time, then, won't l?
You almost done here?
l just have to close up the register.
Well. That's excellent,
because you know, l was thinking....
l just happen to live
right across the street.
l was thinking that too.
-Really? What a coincidence.
-l'll be right there.
l'll see you soon.
ls there any chance you might be
willing to wear that secretary's outfit?
You had your chance.
We'll talk about that later.
Hey.
Eddie.