Dawson's Creek (1998–2003): Season 6, Episode 14 - Clean and Sober - full transcript
In Los Angeles, Dawson visits Audrey at the rehab clinic where he spots a big time film producer, named Toni Stark, and follows her into a therapy session hoping to talk to the woman who'll...
My God. She is gorgeous.
Even l can appreciate that.
And this one,
she knows how to turn on the fun.
You know what l mean.
Can you afford her?
Please, Jack, do not tarnish
this moment with talk of money.
-l'm just saying--
-l must have her.
Therefore, l can afford her.
Her, and all of her little toys too.
What are you guys even
gonna do with something this big?
l mean, it's kind of grotesque.
Not to mention that Emma's gonna
freak out when you drag this...
-...through the living room.
-Joey, don't be jealous.
Just because she can do things
that no man has ever known before.
Okay, now you're disturbing me.
lt's a television that looks
like it ate a small country.
This is the most blatant display
of capitalism l've ever seen.
You're threatened by something
you don't understand, Joey.
l'm gonna get the sales guy.
Aren't there better things
you could do with your money?
-What, like funding your drug habit?
-Now we're talking.
Gratuitous purchases aside,
l'm very impressed with you, Pace.
Put any fool in a suit and he'll change
the world. Look at Trading Places.
lt's not the suits,
and it's not the high-tech toys.
lt's how you
got yourself to this place.
-l mean, look how far you've come.
-Not too far, l hope.
-Are you really worried about that?
-Of course.
l'd like to think that l could be
the person l used to be...
...because he was actually
a pretty good guy.
You still are, Pacey.
You've always been this genius
just waiting for potential to kick in.
lt just so happened
to kick into overdrive.
l'm very proud of you.
Thank you. That means a lot
coming from you, Jo.
But...
...if you think l'm gonna sit in your
apartment and pay homage...
-...to that, you're mistaken.
-You gotta come.
-lt's not a party without you.
-l know. Believe me, l'm coming.
l'm in dire need of cheer and libations
after Eddie up and decided to...
...make something of himself.
You gotta quit the supportive,
inspirational thing.
lt doesn't work for you.
What's up with that?
Now, don't make me regret
all of my sentimental pride.
l won't. So long as you come tonight.
lt'll be good for your soul.
And it really would mean a lot to me
if you could just accept her.
-As one of our own.
-Oh, God.
Clothes don't fool me.
Same old lovable punk.
l'm gonna go check out the iPods.
-Back wall, guys.
-Okay.
-All right, back here, back here.
-Oh, she's awesome.
-l'm gonna pray to her every night.
-lt's a box, Jack.
lt's a big box. Since when have you
been interested in big boxes?
Since Pacey
started sharing the wealth.
-lt's not gonna bring you happiness.
-l beg to differ.
David's here to check out the TV.
Oh, so what?
You're gonna get lucky?
With the television?
-Hi.
-Hey.
Holy big screen, Batman.
You were right.
lt is beautiful.
Have you boys no concern...
...for the general aesthetic quality
of your surroundings?
This thing is so big,
it could block the sun.
Spare me the manifesto, Lindley.
The quality of life went up 1 0 points.
Would you just
give the old girl a chance?
l'm sure that she will impress
you with her skills.
The strength of the sound
that comes out of her, it just...
...feels like it's enveloping
your whole body.
ls Emma's band playing tonight?
-l didn't know that.
-No.
The TV. Love the TV.
Touch the TV.
Moving on. Next subject.
Why are you having this party?
You and Jack have been living here
in private squalor for months now.
''Squalor''? lnteresting.
Well, work's been going well,
and l just wanted to spread the joy.
So listen, l'm bringing C.J.
to this party.
C.J., the dude from the concert.
Yes, C.J., the dude from the concert.
Whose face you...
...introduced to the wall.
Which leads me to my next point.
Could you possibly
not punch him tonight?
-l would never.
-Well, that's reassuring.
But l'm gonna go now. When l return,
l will have C.J., and l will have ice.
lce which is for drinks.
Not for boys' broken faces.
Thanks for the clarification.
-Hey. See you later tonight.
-Ta-ta.
Emma.
Oh, what in the
queen's name is that?
That is tonight's entertainment...
...and every glorious night thereafter.
This is Bertha.
-Ain't she pretty?
-No.
She's not pretty. She is an oversized
hag taking up my practice space.
Don't talk about Bertha like that.
We can discuss rearranging later.
What in the queen's name is that?
Oh, sorry, yeah.
That's Gus.
My fianc?.
How can you help yourself today?
Actually, l'm here to--
Dawson Leery.
You are a sight for sober eyes.
Hi.
-lt's good to see you.
-l thought you were...
...gonna think my message was a joke.
You sounded a little too desperate
for it to be a joke.
Well, thanks for not flaking, because
l kind of would have deserved that.
Oh, but please tell me that you
brought me some NyQuil...
...because l can just not shake
this pesky cold.
The first step to getting better...
...is allowing yourself
to admit that you're sick.
Thanks, Betty.
lt's cool that you forgot the NyQuil, but
please, for the love of Joey Potter...
...tell me that you brought me
something to read, a Jane magazine.
l'd even settle for Martha.
Anything but the Bible.
lt was pretty cool the first time around.
People steal a lot of material...
...from the Bible.
Have you ever noticed that?
Are you okay, Audrey?
Yeah.
Truth be told, l've been smoking
a lot more than the average girl.
Well, more than the average girl
without an eating disorder.
They kind of encourage that here.
You know, the smoking.
Because, like, that's not
gonna kill you or anything.
Anyway, bygones.
You okay, Dawson?
Well, sort of.
l've been living in Todd's guesthouse
for the past two weeks.
Which has been his own kind
of sobriety nightmare.
Wick ed Dead is going
straight to cable.
Which means Todd won't be
directing in the near future...
...and l won't get
another shot at this rate.
Yeah.
l'm in rehab, Dawson.
Did you really not
bring me any magazines?
l'm sorry, l....
Do you know who that is?
lt's the broad l lost my cigarettes
to last night in a poker game.
-l really don't wanna talk about it.
-That's Toni Stark.
She's a phenomenally
successful producer.
She worked for Spielberg's company,
then she left to start her own.
-She's a modern Hollywood legend.
-Finding those is like shooting fish...
...in a barrel here, so don't blow
your wad on one sighting. Okay, tiger?
Do you think l could, like, talk to her?
l'd love to talk to her, but l don't--
l don't know. She's got this reputation
for being, like, a renowned harpy.
Likes to eat well-meaning
types for breakfast.
Well, that's probably
her drunken reputation.
l mean, she's got no ammo here.
But, hello, what about me?
You're the only person
who's been cool enough...
...to come visit me here,
and now you're gonna ditch me?
l'm sorry. You're right.
You're absolutely right.
Let's....
Let's work through
what got you here in the first place.
No.
Let's stalk the burnout.
-Whose party did you say this was?
-l didn't. Funny that. Let's go in.
Wait. Come on now.
l'm not one for surprises.
Okay, it's my friend Pacey's party.
Pa-- The dude from the concert?
Yes, the one who
introduced your face to a brick wall.
l got a better idea. Why don't we go
in, drop off the ice, go to a movie.
These are my best friends,
and you're gonna have to...
...get to know them, sooner or later.
So let's do it, please?
Hello there.
Nice television.
See? l told you
it wasn't gonna be so bad.
Quite the shindig, Pace.
l'm impressed.
Why, thank you. l owe it all to Bertha.
Please tell me you
didn't name the television.
Okay. You want a drink?
We have...
...water, juice, Coke, the green gunk
that Emma drinks, beer....
Give me a drink.
Something fruity and mind-numbing.
-Don't give me that look.
-What look?
Like you're going to ask me who l am,
and what l've done to Joey Potter.
l was gonna do no such thing.
l was simply gonna make you a drink.
And may l say that you look
wonderful tonight.
Thank you.
l thought it was time for a shower.
l heard that things haven't been
going great for you lately.
l have confidence that you'll get
through this, because you always do.
You know, l'll always be
the one to wake up early...
...take the exam, get over the boy,
drive the roommate to rehab, right?
Because somebody's
gotta do all that, right?
You know what?
Maybe tomorrow l won't do it,
and somebody else will.
So just what would you do instead?
Why? What is this '' instead''
you speak of?
Well....
This is a fairly safe place
for you, right?
So feel free.
Enjoy yourself.
All right.
That's the plan. All bets are off.
You know, l just keep wondering
when he's gonna return to his art.
-l mean, he was really quite talented.
-Really?
l had no idea
he was into that sort of thing.
Really? Oh, my gosh. That's what
brought us together in the first place.
Well....
Before.
l mean, you'll think
this is funny, but...
...Jack...
...when l first met him...
...he was...
...shy...
...and kind of dorky.
Seriously. To be honest, l never
would've known he liked me.
Except for....
There was that one time...
...l was sketching him for class.
-He got excited.
-No.
Oh, Dawson. Go do it now.
Do what? l don't remember
coming up with a plan.
Just frigging go do it!
Go, go, go!
Slim pickings, huh?
Entertainment's sure tough
to come by around here.
What do you do for fun?
Me? l just got here.
Well, l'd be glad
to show you the ropes....
Dawson. Dawson Leery.
You got nice hands, Dawson Leery.
l'm Toni Stark.
l know who you are. You're a genius.
Yeah. Something like that.
l'm sorry. You probably
came here for privacy.
No, actually, l came here
to stop having fun.
But l love hearing how great l was...
...1 0 years ago.
Put it that way, you sound like
you were a flash in the pan.
So are we gonna go
somewhere or what?
l'm sorry. Look, the thing is
l'm starting out in the industry--
Listen, baby bird...
...it's bad enough teasing a drying-out
broad with your naughty bits.
lt's worse to talk
about the business...
...with somebody
who's currently out of it.
See you around.
Oh, my God.
Dawson. You're hopeless.
Hey, hope you're not looking
for anything of nutritional value.
No. No.
No, no. Just looking.
So it's a good party, huh?
l think it's a good party.
All these different types of people...
...mixing and whatnot. And there's
been no punching of C.J.'s face.
-That's good. l like that.
-You seem a little jumpy.
Do you want a beer or something?
No, l'm going the clean and sober
route. Taking one for the C.J. team.
He doesn't mind
when other people drink.
-lt's nothing. lt's just easier this way.
-What, lying?
No, it's not lying.
l mean, it's just-- lt's--
And you know, it's probably
really good for me too.
-Hey.
-Hi.
-How are you, slugger?
-Don't worry. Everything's fine.
l noticed the lack of fisticuffs.
Thank you for being nice to him.
lt's easier than
l thought it would be...
...because he's a good guy.
So we kissed, made up...
...l offered him a drink,
and everything's okay.
He refused, right,
when you offered him a drink?
-No, of course not. Who does that?
-Oh, God.
Alcoholics.
Recovering alcoholics
tend not to drink.
What's with all the
underage alcoholics around here?
Okay. l got it.
l'm on damage control.
And have you seen Joey?
You know, C.J.
l just--
l really think it's great
how you've turned Jen around.
Because before, believe me,
l mean she was....
She was a troubled young lady.
So she says.
-She killed a girl once.
-What?
Abby Morgan.
Killed her with champagne.
-You want some?
-No.
-No, no, l'm-- This is-- l'm....
-Do you want some?
Hey, there you are.
So, what do you say we leave
the nice man alone now, shall we?
And look, about that thing earlier.
l'm sorry, l didn't know.
What?
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
He seems like a nice guy.
What does '' C.J.'' stand for?
Couldn't tell you.
Well, l hope those kids work it out.
Pacey.
Everybody's working it out.
Jen and C.J...
...you know, that British girl
and that gross guy.
l'm just no good at this.
l just....
l push people away.
-No, that's not true.
-Oh, no?
Then why do they go out to sea,
or move across country...
...or follow their dreams
just because l told them to?
There's always something
better out there than me.
l think perhaps you're looking
at this the wrong way.
Maybe it's just that
you're such an amazing woman...
...you make these guys
wanna be better men.
Well, we're not together.
True enough.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, don't you look so glum.
We're talking about my sucky life.
Yours is a success.
Oh, l forgot.
You're still not over me.
-Really?
-Oh, remember?
Christmas dinner from hell?
That was one of Audrey's
enlightened comments.
-Right, of course.
-You're still not over me.
-That must suck.
-Oh, it does.
You have no idea
the hardships l go through...
...trying to maintain a friendship
with a dream girl such as yourself.
-You have no idea.
-Gets lonely.
lt does. l cry myself to sleep
every night. But Jack and l cuddle.
That eases the pain.
He's very loving.
Oh, Pace.
You know what?
l am a good catch.
l don't understand. l mean,
when did you stop going to school?
The end of the semester.
Band's really taking off,
Jack, and l just....
You know, l couldn't keep up
with the requirements.
When am l gonna need to know the
origin of the Baroque period anyway?
-lt's totally lacking in inspiration.
-Totally.
So, Gus...?
You still in school?
No need.
l'm gonna be a roadie
for the little lady.
No, no. He's just saying that. No.
He's actually a very brilliant pianist.
He plays in a pool hall
on Thursday nights.
lt's really good stuff.
Wicked.
Yeah, okay.
Are you sure you thought
this marriage thing through?
l mean, you know, no offence, Gus.
We just met tonight...
...but it's moving awful quickly.
Yeah, that's sort of the point, Jack.
My visa ran out
as soon as l quit school.
Which means l have no right
to be here unless l...
...marry some Yankee bastard.
Gus has been very agreeable about
the whole thing. Haven't you, Gus?
Right on, baby mama.
l'm going to go get something to drink.
Can l get something for anyone?
Yeah, l'd like a--
l'd like a beer.
-Okay.
-And maybe some chips.
And maybe...
...mash the chips up
inside a sandwich.
So, Gus.
Did you just, you know,
offer your services to her?
Because, you know,
it's a big sacrifice.
Just, you know, getting married
this young and all, so.
Yeah, l was led to believe that having
other women in the bedroom...
...wouldn't exactly be off-limits.
-Plus, it's nice compensation.
-What do you mean?
Free room and board, man.
Plus, she said she'd cook for me.
Yeah, you know,
she's not exactly a cook.
She just throws stuff in a blender,
and then she just hopes--
-Whatever. She's got a nice rack.
-Yeah, she--
Say, are you two
getting to know each other?
Unfortunately.
Yeah. No, your old man's cool.
Doesn't even seem all that gay.
Yeah.
Okay, see you kids later.
l'm just going to...
...stay right here.
Okay, wait.
Why are we still doing this?
Weren't you just telling me
what a miserable failure l was?
Look, if there's
one thing l've learned in rehab...
...other than cat's cradle,
is that you have to believe in yourself.
You are your own
worst enemy and all that.
-You're not too convincing.
-Come on.
You are so much better than
all the wannabes l grew up with.
Okay, so you made a colossal fool out
of yourself in front of some producer.
l say, why not do it again?
You're not encouraging me
because you've been...
...in rehab for a month
and you're bored?
Dawson, give a girl a break,
and dance, monkey, dance.
She went in that room right there.
Hey, guys. Come on in.
Don't be shy. We're here to help.
-Actually, you know, we're--
-No, you know what?
Honey, this is gonna be good for us.
Come on, guys, make some room.
Thank you.
Thanks.
One, two, three....
Do we really have to
cohabitate with this guy?
She didn't mention
anything about that.
l think it's part
of the marital-bliss deal.
Free room and board,
the occasional unwanted groping.
-lt's the only reason he's doing it.
-You've gotta be kidding me.
What, you're shocked?
l-- l just don't get it, l guess.
l mean, l understand
Emma's in a bind.
But, you know,
she could have said something.
-Yeah, l know.
-And this creep.
Who marries someone
they don't love?
That kind of creep.
Kind of creep that's given up hope.
When you stop to think about it,
it really must suck to be him.
So you having fun?
-Oh, yeah.
-Yeah. So you're drinking?
l'd be much more inclined
to answer your question...
...if you weren't looking
at me like l just...
...killed Grams drunk driving.
l'm just curious.
Your friend offered me a drink,
and it seemed rude to say no....
So that's it?
Years of sobriety shot to hell
over a question of etiquette...
...with a guy who threatened
to punch in your face?
l don't expect you to understand.
-Thank God for that.
-No, l just--
l didn't want to get into it with
a stranger, you know.
-Thanks for telling him.
-Telling him what?
That l don't drink. Now he's
apologizing to me like l'm dying.
Well, you know, it is a disease.
l know that, Jen.
l trained you, remember?
Yeah, no, l know, l know.
So why is this coming up?
Because for as long
as l've known you...
...you've operated on a set of rules,
where l didn't think a day...
...would go by if you weren't
sticking to the C.J. plan.
Well, did it ever occur to you that
l was too strict on myself?
That maybe l wouldn't even
be here now...
...if l was sticking to
the so-called C.J. plan?
lf this is gonna happen, then maybe
you shouldn't be here with me.
Why? Because l've been
sitting here for an hour...
...considering whether or not
to take a drink?
l'd be more concerned
about your friend Joey.
She told me you killed somebody.
l'm sorry. So you
haven't been drinking?
ls that gonna magically change
the conclusions you just jumped to?
-Well, yes.
-lt doesn't work that way, Jen.
Yeah, l've been
thinking about it, fine.
Like l've thought
about trying some normalcy with you.
Apparently, you find that insulting.
No, no. Look, l just don't want--
l just don't want whatever happens...
...between us to be
detrimental to either of us.
Are you trying to get out of
something here? Just tell me.
l'm not trying to get out of anything.
l don't even know what l'm getting into.
Well, then why are you making
excuses for why this won't work?
l mean, it's pretty hypocritical
given our history, isn't it?
What's your name?
My name is Pinkie.
They call me that because a ferret
bit off my pinkie toe when l was 1 0...
...and that is when
l turned to the drink.
Okay.
What would you like
to tell your friend here?
He is more than just a friend.
More than just a cousin.
We got married real young.
Right after the second baby, was it?
And then there were some more,
but l lost track.
They're with Mom now, in Vegas.
But Dawson here,
he was always real good to me.
You know, even when l beat him
because he knew that l didn't mean it.
He knew it was just
the alcohol talking, right?
You did do some things...
-...that were more violent than that.
-Like what?
How about when you drove through
the house and almost killed us?
He's right about the car, yeah.
There were some things that l did...
...that l probably wouldn't have
if l weren't drinking.
What other things, Pinkie?
Well....
Like telling people things
they didn't need to hear...
...just because l wanted to see
the looks on their faces.
You know, pushing people away
who were just trying to help me.
Dawson here, he was always...
...real quiet about it, though.
Not judgmental, really.
Just, you know...
...kept picking me up
over and over again.
-And why do you suppose he did that?
-l don't really know.
l think he's just...
...the kind of guy who always
believes the best in people.
And he deserved more than just...
...the destruction of
his property, l suppose.
lt's okay, though. We can fix that.
But l could've really hurt you.
l think you needed to hit rock
bottom before you snapped out of it.
Yeah, but l didn't hit rock bottom
until a couple weeks after that.
Maybe you needed
to hit it really hard.
Do you think...
...that there is still a house
for me to come home to?
After all the construction's done
and whatnot?
l promise.
Dawson, let's have another baby.
Listen, l'm all for making a mockery
of rehab, but can we move this along?
Blondie is from Beverly Hills,
and she tried to take me...
...for two packs last night,
and her boyfriend here...
...is l don't know, a key grip.
-ls this true?
-l was assistant to the director...
...l directed the reshoots myself.
-lf you'd allow me to show you my reel.
-That'll be enough of that, thanks.
-You two obviously don't belong here.
-Do you mean l'm cured?
No, l mean you're
on dish duty tonight.
l'll tell Betty. Now, please,
let us conduct this session in peace.
Sorry.
Bye-bye now.
lt went well.
You are kidding me with this, right?
l most certainly am not.
Now don't be a spoilsport.
Come on.
Okay, fine, but l--
l'm not kissing him.
Well, what's fair is fair, right?
Come on, Gustav. Spin.
New rule. No tongue.
No, no, no.
''What's fair is fair.''
And don't mess with me
because l've killed before.
l know.
See?
No tongue?
Screw that.
Okay. Well....
Jack!
Hey. That's not fair.
You guys kiss all the time.
What's the fun in that?
Not tonight.
There's rules to be followed, yeah?
Oh, shut up.
-Okay.
-Oh, yeah.
-l'm a little thirsty. Do you need a--?
-Yeah, let's.
Oh, wait. This isn't like...
...Seven Minutes in Heaven.
You guys have to come back.
You just wanna kiss Jen.
Okay, regardless.
They forfeit their turn.
Well....
All right.
Lay one on me, Pace.
Oh, you're gonna die!
l just wanted to see how much
weight it would hold. l didn't--
-What have you done?
-l didn't--
-What have you done? l will kill you.
-l didn't mean--
l will kill you for this!
Do you understand?
ldiot!
Don't worry about this.
l'll-- l'll take care of it.
-No! No! No!
-What about my stuff?
-Oh, l'll throw it on the curb.
-Okay, but--
Yeah, the wedding is off.
-We haven't done it yet.
-Yeah, l'm aware of that, thank you.
Okay, Bertha. Oh, no!
Jeez.
Oh, l'm gonna kill that little bastard.
Wanna play sardines?
So they're really gonna
put you on dish duty, huh?
Please, that's a godsend.
lt gets me out of kumbaya-ing
for the night.
-Why did you give us so many kids?
-Whatever!
Why did you have to get
all earnest with the bag lady...
...about the nature of the biz?
You know, it wasn't entirely fictional.
The therapy session.
l was feeling like there was some
hardcore healing going on.
Good.
Just sucks you had to
get in trouble to do it.
Dawson...
...stalking some woman
through the hallways...
...and crashing a therapy session was
more fun than l ever imagined.
You have no idea
what a relief it was to just...
...not talk about myself
and my problems all day.
And darned if it didn't end up
helping my problems out.
l hate when that happens.
You seem less self-absorbed
than when you got here.
Better get yourself
back to L.A. proper fast.
Yeah, really.
l don't know, l think
it was just seeing somebody...
...l admire, give up on life like that.
l might be floundering for my
next move, but l'm not that bad.
Dawson, l haven't given up on life.
l'm talking about Toni Stark.
Oh, right.
See? You're good.
The next time you come,
you bring me NyQuil.
There doesn't have to be
a next time. You're almost out of here.
l don't know.
As much as l hate it here...
...l'm sort of scared more
of what's beyond the gate.
Because it's all kind of a blur...
...but l don't think l left things
on the best of terms.
lt can all be just like it was.
Minus the bad parts.
You know, actually...
...l kind of don't think it can.
But l'm kind of glad about that.
Come here.
Thank you.
-Bye.
-See you.
So you really used to
go out with Joey, huh?
-Who have you been talking to?
-lf you didn't keep ditching me...
-...to go make out with women.
-l was just playing by the rules.
Joey was being very adamant.
What did she tell you?
Nothing, really.
But l would love to
see your work sometime.
Oh, no, l don't-- l don't--
l don't think so.
But l am sorry for being
distracted tonight.
lt's just that, you know, this whole...
...Gus-bomb that Emma dropped
is just kind of shocking.
Yeah, but crisis averted.
lt's almost like it never happened.
Well, l'm just worried.
You know, l mean, l just--
l had no idea that things...
...were so desperate for her.
-What's she gonna do now?
-lt's a bad situation.
But, you know, it isn't exactly
your problem to solve.
l mean, there isn't really
much you can do...
...unless you wanna
go marry her yourself.
Wait. What are you doing?
Are you getting dressed?
Well, yeah. l think some
people wanna get in here.
Don't. Make them wait.
Their coats aren't that nice anyway.
-You're the one lolling around in them.
-l know, exactly. Come here.
Okay.
This sure beats arguing about
whether or not l've had a drink.
No, that was fun for a while too.
Well, you weren't entirely wrong.
Yeah, well, l wasn't entirely
right either. l mean....
lt's your life. You know what
you're doing with it.
Not really.
But this is pretty nice right here.
l got nervous tonight.
When l saw...
...Pacey.
Reminded me of all the...
...the drama.
l don't know, l just....
l guess l just wanted to make
you happy. Try to be normal.
l would be unhappy
if you were normal.
Besides, l thought that's what l was
trying to do. l had this plan...
...that l was not going to
have a drink tonight.
And you and l were just
going to talk about philosophy.
That's not normal party behaviour.
l don't care about
any of that stuff anymore.
l mean, l just wanna...
...do this.
Can we do this?
This? Think we just did.
l think that some coat owners aren't
gonna be too happy with the result.
Seriously, l....
l don't wanna date the idea of you.
And l don't want you to fall
for some false idea of me.
You tried faking me out
before, remember?
You're not very good at it.
l know. We should get out of here.
You're gonna have to surrender
this coat first, you know that?
No, this is Joey's coat.
She has enough coats.
Come on, let's go get wasted.
Totally, dude.
-See you, guys.
-Bye.
So where do you think C.J.
and Jen came from?
l don't even wanna think about it.
Look, l'm sorry about your
failed marriage and everything.
Yeah, thanks, Jack. The sympathy
is just oozing from your voice.
Between a loveless marriage
and going home...
...don't you think going home
would be better?
l mean, at least you'd have
some time to figure some things out.
My folks are great, don't get me
wrong, but it's my mum's dying wish...
...to see me fail.
l can't give her that satisfaction.
l'd be there one day, she'll have me
tutoring the slow kids on the triangle.
lt's musical suicide.
l'm not looking for love right now.
When l find it,
it usually kicks my ass.
lf, at some point, some Christian Bale
type descends upon me.
-So to speak.
-Yeah.
l'll just...
...dump the poor sod l married.
Well, l'm gonna have to have
a little bit of private time...
...with that Christian Bale type
before l can let you marry him.
You know, actually...
...l would be the perfect husband.
You know, l can help you
check out guys.
l can make sure they're not gay.
lt is rather a hassle when you
find that out late in the game.
Plus, you know, l wouldn't be
pawing you all the time, like Gus.
Well, that sounds great.
Let's get married then.
Let's do it.
Yeah.
How much have you had to drink?
l'm just trying to help you out.
We already live together.
Look, why do you think l asked Gus?
Because he's a nasty little creature...
...that l don't care about.
lt's easier that way.
l could never ask that big of
a favour from a friend. l just couldn't.
Well, you don't have to because...
...l'm asking you.
Jack, you are too good.
Well, not really.
-l didn't get you a ring or any--
-That's a good point.
No, you are. You are too good
for that. l couldn't.
l would.
l know.
l know you would, you madman.
l wish l could take advantage of that.
Nope.
l can't ruin two lives.
lt's my mess. l've got to face it.
l've been living too long
in fantasyland.
Go dry those dishes.
And here we are.
Home sweet home.
Already?
Already. l know, it's a long trip up
from the living room.
That was fun.
See, l'm a lovely drunk.
You are indeed, Miss Potter.
l talked to so many
new people tonight.
People love me.
And they love it when you tell them
your friends' dirty little secrets.
Nothing. Never mind.
lt was a wonderful party, Pacey.
Until all the smashes and stuff.
Yeah, the smashing was not so good.
l'm sorry about the television thing.
lt's okay. lt happens.
And l probably was getting
a little too attached.
Can't have that.
No.
And l'm glad you had a good time.
You deserved it.
And you are a lovely
and wise drunk, Miss Potter.
What you said earlier was right.
l never did.
How could l?
Just look at you.
You know what else we never did?
Your turn now.
Sweet dreams, Joey.
Even l can appreciate that.
And this one,
she knows how to turn on the fun.
You know what l mean.
Can you afford her?
Please, Jack, do not tarnish
this moment with talk of money.
-l'm just saying--
-l must have her.
Therefore, l can afford her.
Her, and all of her little toys too.
What are you guys even
gonna do with something this big?
l mean, it's kind of grotesque.
Not to mention that Emma's gonna
freak out when you drag this...
-...through the living room.
-Joey, don't be jealous.
Just because she can do things
that no man has ever known before.
Okay, now you're disturbing me.
lt's a television that looks
like it ate a small country.
This is the most blatant display
of capitalism l've ever seen.
You're threatened by something
you don't understand, Joey.
l'm gonna get the sales guy.
Aren't there better things
you could do with your money?
-What, like funding your drug habit?
-Now we're talking.
Gratuitous purchases aside,
l'm very impressed with you, Pace.
Put any fool in a suit and he'll change
the world. Look at Trading Places.
lt's not the suits,
and it's not the high-tech toys.
lt's how you
got yourself to this place.
-l mean, look how far you've come.
-Not too far, l hope.
-Are you really worried about that?
-Of course.
l'd like to think that l could be
the person l used to be...
...because he was actually
a pretty good guy.
You still are, Pacey.
You've always been this genius
just waiting for potential to kick in.
lt just so happened
to kick into overdrive.
l'm very proud of you.
Thank you. That means a lot
coming from you, Jo.
But...
...if you think l'm gonna sit in your
apartment and pay homage...
-...to that, you're mistaken.
-You gotta come.
-lt's not a party without you.
-l know. Believe me, l'm coming.
l'm in dire need of cheer and libations
after Eddie up and decided to...
...make something of himself.
You gotta quit the supportive,
inspirational thing.
lt doesn't work for you.
What's up with that?
Now, don't make me regret
all of my sentimental pride.
l won't. So long as you come tonight.
lt'll be good for your soul.
And it really would mean a lot to me
if you could just accept her.
-As one of our own.
-Oh, God.
Clothes don't fool me.
Same old lovable punk.
l'm gonna go check out the iPods.
-Back wall, guys.
-Okay.
-All right, back here, back here.
-Oh, she's awesome.
-l'm gonna pray to her every night.
-lt's a box, Jack.
lt's a big box. Since when have you
been interested in big boxes?
Since Pacey
started sharing the wealth.
-lt's not gonna bring you happiness.
-l beg to differ.
David's here to check out the TV.
Oh, so what?
You're gonna get lucky?
With the television?
-Hi.
-Hey.
Holy big screen, Batman.
You were right.
lt is beautiful.
Have you boys no concern...
...for the general aesthetic quality
of your surroundings?
This thing is so big,
it could block the sun.
Spare me the manifesto, Lindley.
The quality of life went up 1 0 points.
Would you just
give the old girl a chance?
l'm sure that she will impress
you with her skills.
The strength of the sound
that comes out of her, it just...
...feels like it's enveloping
your whole body.
ls Emma's band playing tonight?
-l didn't know that.
-No.
The TV. Love the TV.
Touch the TV.
Moving on. Next subject.
Why are you having this party?
You and Jack have been living here
in private squalor for months now.
''Squalor''? lnteresting.
Well, work's been going well,
and l just wanted to spread the joy.
So listen, l'm bringing C.J.
to this party.
C.J., the dude from the concert.
Yes, C.J., the dude from the concert.
Whose face you...
...introduced to the wall.
Which leads me to my next point.
Could you possibly
not punch him tonight?
-l would never.
-Well, that's reassuring.
But l'm gonna go now. When l return,
l will have C.J., and l will have ice.
lce which is for drinks.
Not for boys' broken faces.
Thanks for the clarification.
-Hey. See you later tonight.
-Ta-ta.
Emma.
Oh, what in the
queen's name is that?
That is tonight's entertainment...
...and every glorious night thereafter.
This is Bertha.
-Ain't she pretty?
-No.
She's not pretty. She is an oversized
hag taking up my practice space.
Don't talk about Bertha like that.
We can discuss rearranging later.
What in the queen's name is that?
Oh, sorry, yeah.
That's Gus.
My fianc?.
How can you help yourself today?
Actually, l'm here to--
Dawson Leery.
You are a sight for sober eyes.
Hi.
-lt's good to see you.
-l thought you were...
...gonna think my message was a joke.
You sounded a little too desperate
for it to be a joke.
Well, thanks for not flaking, because
l kind of would have deserved that.
Oh, but please tell me that you
brought me some NyQuil...
...because l can just not shake
this pesky cold.
The first step to getting better...
...is allowing yourself
to admit that you're sick.
Thanks, Betty.
lt's cool that you forgot the NyQuil, but
please, for the love of Joey Potter...
...tell me that you brought me
something to read, a Jane magazine.
l'd even settle for Martha.
Anything but the Bible.
lt was pretty cool the first time around.
People steal a lot of material...
...from the Bible.
Have you ever noticed that?
Are you okay, Audrey?
Yeah.
Truth be told, l've been smoking
a lot more than the average girl.
Well, more than the average girl
without an eating disorder.
They kind of encourage that here.
You know, the smoking.
Because, like, that's not
gonna kill you or anything.
Anyway, bygones.
You okay, Dawson?
Well, sort of.
l've been living in Todd's guesthouse
for the past two weeks.
Which has been his own kind
of sobriety nightmare.
Wick ed Dead is going
straight to cable.
Which means Todd won't be
directing in the near future...
...and l won't get
another shot at this rate.
Yeah.
l'm in rehab, Dawson.
Did you really not
bring me any magazines?
l'm sorry, l....
Do you know who that is?
lt's the broad l lost my cigarettes
to last night in a poker game.
-l really don't wanna talk about it.
-That's Toni Stark.
She's a phenomenally
successful producer.
She worked for Spielberg's company,
then she left to start her own.
-She's a modern Hollywood legend.
-Finding those is like shooting fish...
...in a barrel here, so don't blow
your wad on one sighting. Okay, tiger?
Do you think l could, like, talk to her?
l'd love to talk to her, but l don't--
l don't know. She's got this reputation
for being, like, a renowned harpy.
Likes to eat well-meaning
types for breakfast.
Well, that's probably
her drunken reputation.
l mean, she's got no ammo here.
But, hello, what about me?
You're the only person
who's been cool enough...
...to come visit me here,
and now you're gonna ditch me?
l'm sorry. You're right.
You're absolutely right.
Let's....
Let's work through
what got you here in the first place.
No.
Let's stalk the burnout.
-Whose party did you say this was?
-l didn't. Funny that. Let's go in.
Wait. Come on now.
l'm not one for surprises.
Okay, it's my friend Pacey's party.
Pa-- The dude from the concert?
Yes, the one who
introduced your face to a brick wall.
l got a better idea. Why don't we go
in, drop off the ice, go to a movie.
These are my best friends,
and you're gonna have to...
...get to know them, sooner or later.
So let's do it, please?
Hello there.
Nice television.
See? l told you
it wasn't gonna be so bad.
Quite the shindig, Pace.
l'm impressed.
Why, thank you. l owe it all to Bertha.
Please tell me you
didn't name the television.
Okay. You want a drink?
We have...
...water, juice, Coke, the green gunk
that Emma drinks, beer....
Give me a drink.
Something fruity and mind-numbing.
-Don't give me that look.
-What look?
Like you're going to ask me who l am,
and what l've done to Joey Potter.
l was gonna do no such thing.
l was simply gonna make you a drink.
And may l say that you look
wonderful tonight.
Thank you.
l thought it was time for a shower.
l heard that things haven't been
going great for you lately.
l have confidence that you'll get
through this, because you always do.
You know, l'll always be
the one to wake up early...
...take the exam, get over the boy,
drive the roommate to rehab, right?
Because somebody's
gotta do all that, right?
You know what?
Maybe tomorrow l won't do it,
and somebody else will.
So just what would you do instead?
Why? What is this '' instead''
you speak of?
Well....
This is a fairly safe place
for you, right?
So feel free.
Enjoy yourself.
All right.
That's the plan. All bets are off.
You know, l just keep wondering
when he's gonna return to his art.
-l mean, he was really quite talented.
-Really?
l had no idea
he was into that sort of thing.
Really? Oh, my gosh. That's what
brought us together in the first place.
Well....
Before.
l mean, you'll think
this is funny, but...
...Jack...
...when l first met him...
...he was...
...shy...
...and kind of dorky.
Seriously. To be honest, l never
would've known he liked me.
Except for....
There was that one time...
...l was sketching him for class.
-He got excited.
-No.
Oh, Dawson. Go do it now.
Do what? l don't remember
coming up with a plan.
Just frigging go do it!
Go, go, go!
Slim pickings, huh?
Entertainment's sure tough
to come by around here.
What do you do for fun?
Me? l just got here.
Well, l'd be glad
to show you the ropes....
Dawson. Dawson Leery.
You got nice hands, Dawson Leery.
l'm Toni Stark.
l know who you are. You're a genius.
Yeah. Something like that.
l'm sorry. You probably
came here for privacy.
No, actually, l came here
to stop having fun.
But l love hearing how great l was...
...1 0 years ago.
Put it that way, you sound like
you were a flash in the pan.
So are we gonna go
somewhere or what?
l'm sorry. Look, the thing is
l'm starting out in the industry--
Listen, baby bird...
...it's bad enough teasing a drying-out
broad with your naughty bits.
lt's worse to talk
about the business...
...with somebody
who's currently out of it.
See you around.
Oh, my God.
Dawson. You're hopeless.
Hey, hope you're not looking
for anything of nutritional value.
No. No.
No, no. Just looking.
So it's a good party, huh?
l think it's a good party.
All these different types of people...
...mixing and whatnot. And there's
been no punching of C.J.'s face.
-That's good. l like that.
-You seem a little jumpy.
Do you want a beer or something?
No, l'm going the clean and sober
route. Taking one for the C.J. team.
He doesn't mind
when other people drink.
-lt's nothing. lt's just easier this way.
-What, lying?
No, it's not lying.
l mean, it's just-- lt's--
And you know, it's probably
really good for me too.
-Hey.
-Hi.
-How are you, slugger?
-Don't worry. Everything's fine.
l noticed the lack of fisticuffs.
Thank you for being nice to him.
lt's easier than
l thought it would be...
...because he's a good guy.
So we kissed, made up...
...l offered him a drink,
and everything's okay.
He refused, right,
when you offered him a drink?
-No, of course not. Who does that?
-Oh, God.
Alcoholics.
Recovering alcoholics
tend not to drink.
What's with all the
underage alcoholics around here?
Okay. l got it.
l'm on damage control.
And have you seen Joey?
You know, C.J.
l just--
l really think it's great
how you've turned Jen around.
Because before, believe me,
l mean she was....
She was a troubled young lady.
So she says.
-She killed a girl once.
-What?
Abby Morgan.
Killed her with champagne.
-You want some?
-No.
-No, no, l'm-- This is-- l'm....
-Do you want some?
Hey, there you are.
So, what do you say we leave
the nice man alone now, shall we?
And look, about that thing earlier.
l'm sorry, l didn't know.
What?
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
He seems like a nice guy.
What does '' C.J.'' stand for?
Couldn't tell you.
Well, l hope those kids work it out.
Pacey.
Everybody's working it out.
Jen and C.J...
...you know, that British girl
and that gross guy.
l'm just no good at this.
l just....
l push people away.
-No, that's not true.
-Oh, no?
Then why do they go out to sea,
or move across country...
...or follow their dreams
just because l told them to?
There's always something
better out there than me.
l think perhaps you're looking
at this the wrong way.
Maybe it's just that
you're such an amazing woman...
...you make these guys
wanna be better men.
Well, we're not together.
True enough.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, don't you look so glum.
We're talking about my sucky life.
Yours is a success.
Oh, l forgot.
You're still not over me.
-Really?
-Oh, remember?
Christmas dinner from hell?
That was one of Audrey's
enlightened comments.
-Right, of course.
-You're still not over me.
-That must suck.
-Oh, it does.
You have no idea
the hardships l go through...
...trying to maintain a friendship
with a dream girl such as yourself.
-You have no idea.
-Gets lonely.
lt does. l cry myself to sleep
every night. But Jack and l cuddle.
That eases the pain.
He's very loving.
Oh, Pace.
You know what?
l am a good catch.
l don't understand. l mean,
when did you stop going to school?
The end of the semester.
Band's really taking off,
Jack, and l just....
You know, l couldn't keep up
with the requirements.
When am l gonna need to know the
origin of the Baroque period anyway?
-lt's totally lacking in inspiration.
-Totally.
So, Gus...?
You still in school?
No need.
l'm gonna be a roadie
for the little lady.
No, no. He's just saying that. No.
He's actually a very brilliant pianist.
He plays in a pool hall
on Thursday nights.
lt's really good stuff.
Wicked.
Yeah, okay.
Are you sure you thought
this marriage thing through?
l mean, you know, no offence, Gus.
We just met tonight...
...but it's moving awful quickly.
Yeah, that's sort of the point, Jack.
My visa ran out
as soon as l quit school.
Which means l have no right
to be here unless l...
...marry some Yankee bastard.
Gus has been very agreeable about
the whole thing. Haven't you, Gus?
Right on, baby mama.
l'm going to go get something to drink.
Can l get something for anyone?
Yeah, l'd like a--
l'd like a beer.
-Okay.
-And maybe some chips.
And maybe...
...mash the chips up
inside a sandwich.
So, Gus.
Did you just, you know,
offer your services to her?
Because, you know,
it's a big sacrifice.
Just, you know, getting married
this young and all, so.
Yeah, l was led to believe that having
other women in the bedroom...
...wouldn't exactly be off-limits.
-Plus, it's nice compensation.
-What do you mean?
Free room and board, man.
Plus, she said she'd cook for me.
Yeah, you know,
she's not exactly a cook.
She just throws stuff in a blender,
and then she just hopes--
-Whatever. She's got a nice rack.
-Yeah, she--
Say, are you two
getting to know each other?
Unfortunately.
Yeah. No, your old man's cool.
Doesn't even seem all that gay.
Yeah.
Okay, see you kids later.
l'm just going to...
...stay right here.
Okay, wait.
Why are we still doing this?
Weren't you just telling me
what a miserable failure l was?
Look, if there's
one thing l've learned in rehab...
...other than cat's cradle,
is that you have to believe in yourself.
You are your own
worst enemy and all that.
-You're not too convincing.
-Come on.
You are so much better than
all the wannabes l grew up with.
Okay, so you made a colossal fool out
of yourself in front of some producer.
l say, why not do it again?
You're not encouraging me
because you've been...
...in rehab for a month
and you're bored?
Dawson, give a girl a break,
and dance, monkey, dance.
She went in that room right there.
Hey, guys. Come on in.
Don't be shy. We're here to help.
-Actually, you know, we're--
-No, you know what?
Honey, this is gonna be good for us.
Come on, guys, make some room.
Thank you.
Thanks.
One, two, three....
Do we really have to
cohabitate with this guy?
She didn't mention
anything about that.
l think it's part
of the marital-bliss deal.
Free room and board,
the occasional unwanted groping.
-lt's the only reason he's doing it.
-You've gotta be kidding me.
What, you're shocked?
l-- l just don't get it, l guess.
l mean, l understand
Emma's in a bind.
But, you know,
she could have said something.
-Yeah, l know.
-And this creep.
Who marries someone
they don't love?
That kind of creep.
Kind of creep that's given up hope.
When you stop to think about it,
it really must suck to be him.
So you having fun?
-Oh, yeah.
-Yeah. So you're drinking?
l'd be much more inclined
to answer your question...
...if you weren't looking
at me like l just...
...killed Grams drunk driving.
l'm just curious.
Your friend offered me a drink,
and it seemed rude to say no....
So that's it?
Years of sobriety shot to hell
over a question of etiquette...
...with a guy who threatened
to punch in your face?
l don't expect you to understand.
-Thank God for that.
-No, l just--
l didn't want to get into it with
a stranger, you know.
-Thanks for telling him.
-Telling him what?
That l don't drink. Now he's
apologizing to me like l'm dying.
Well, you know, it is a disease.
l know that, Jen.
l trained you, remember?
Yeah, no, l know, l know.
So why is this coming up?
Because for as long
as l've known you...
...you've operated on a set of rules,
where l didn't think a day...
...would go by if you weren't
sticking to the C.J. plan.
Well, did it ever occur to you that
l was too strict on myself?
That maybe l wouldn't even
be here now...
...if l was sticking to
the so-called C.J. plan?
lf this is gonna happen, then maybe
you shouldn't be here with me.
Why? Because l've been
sitting here for an hour...
...considering whether or not
to take a drink?
l'd be more concerned
about your friend Joey.
She told me you killed somebody.
l'm sorry. So you
haven't been drinking?
ls that gonna magically change
the conclusions you just jumped to?
-Well, yes.
-lt doesn't work that way, Jen.
Yeah, l've been
thinking about it, fine.
Like l've thought
about trying some normalcy with you.
Apparently, you find that insulting.
No, no. Look, l just don't want--
l just don't want whatever happens...
...between us to be
detrimental to either of us.
Are you trying to get out of
something here? Just tell me.
l'm not trying to get out of anything.
l don't even know what l'm getting into.
Well, then why are you making
excuses for why this won't work?
l mean, it's pretty hypocritical
given our history, isn't it?
What's your name?
My name is Pinkie.
They call me that because a ferret
bit off my pinkie toe when l was 1 0...
...and that is when
l turned to the drink.
Okay.
What would you like
to tell your friend here?
He is more than just a friend.
More than just a cousin.
We got married real young.
Right after the second baby, was it?
And then there were some more,
but l lost track.
They're with Mom now, in Vegas.
But Dawson here,
he was always real good to me.
You know, even when l beat him
because he knew that l didn't mean it.
He knew it was just
the alcohol talking, right?
You did do some things...
-...that were more violent than that.
-Like what?
How about when you drove through
the house and almost killed us?
He's right about the car, yeah.
There were some things that l did...
...that l probably wouldn't have
if l weren't drinking.
What other things, Pinkie?
Well....
Like telling people things
they didn't need to hear...
...just because l wanted to see
the looks on their faces.
You know, pushing people away
who were just trying to help me.
Dawson here, he was always...
...real quiet about it, though.
Not judgmental, really.
Just, you know...
...kept picking me up
over and over again.
-And why do you suppose he did that?
-l don't really know.
l think he's just...
...the kind of guy who always
believes the best in people.
And he deserved more than just...
...the destruction of
his property, l suppose.
lt's okay, though. We can fix that.
But l could've really hurt you.
l think you needed to hit rock
bottom before you snapped out of it.
Yeah, but l didn't hit rock bottom
until a couple weeks after that.
Maybe you needed
to hit it really hard.
Do you think...
...that there is still a house
for me to come home to?
After all the construction's done
and whatnot?
l promise.
Dawson, let's have another baby.
Listen, l'm all for making a mockery
of rehab, but can we move this along?
Blondie is from Beverly Hills,
and she tried to take me...
...for two packs last night,
and her boyfriend here...
...is l don't know, a key grip.
-ls this true?
-l was assistant to the director...
...l directed the reshoots myself.
-lf you'd allow me to show you my reel.
-That'll be enough of that, thanks.
-You two obviously don't belong here.
-Do you mean l'm cured?
No, l mean you're
on dish duty tonight.
l'll tell Betty. Now, please,
let us conduct this session in peace.
Sorry.
Bye-bye now.
lt went well.
You are kidding me with this, right?
l most certainly am not.
Now don't be a spoilsport.
Come on.
Okay, fine, but l--
l'm not kissing him.
Well, what's fair is fair, right?
Come on, Gustav. Spin.
New rule. No tongue.
No, no, no.
''What's fair is fair.''
And don't mess with me
because l've killed before.
l know.
See?
No tongue?
Screw that.
Okay. Well....
Jack!
Hey. That's not fair.
You guys kiss all the time.
What's the fun in that?
Not tonight.
There's rules to be followed, yeah?
Oh, shut up.
-Okay.
-Oh, yeah.
-l'm a little thirsty. Do you need a--?
-Yeah, let's.
Oh, wait. This isn't like...
...Seven Minutes in Heaven.
You guys have to come back.
You just wanna kiss Jen.
Okay, regardless.
They forfeit their turn.
Well....
All right.
Lay one on me, Pace.
Oh, you're gonna die!
l just wanted to see how much
weight it would hold. l didn't--
-What have you done?
-l didn't--
-What have you done? l will kill you.
-l didn't mean--
l will kill you for this!
Do you understand?
ldiot!
Don't worry about this.
l'll-- l'll take care of it.
-No! No! No!
-What about my stuff?
-Oh, l'll throw it on the curb.
-Okay, but--
Yeah, the wedding is off.
-We haven't done it yet.
-Yeah, l'm aware of that, thank you.
Okay, Bertha. Oh, no!
Jeez.
Oh, l'm gonna kill that little bastard.
Wanna play sardines?
So they're really gonna
put you on dish duty, huh?
Please, that's a godsend.
lt gets me out of kumbaya-ing
for the night.
-Why did you give us so many kids?
-Whatever!
Why did you have to get
all earnest with the bag lady...
...about the nature of the biz?
You know, it wasn't entirely fictional.
The therapy session.
l was feeling like there was some
hardcore healing going on.
Good.
Just sucks you had to
get in trouble to do it.
Dawson...
...stalking some woman
through the hallways...
...and crashing a therapy session was
more fun than l ever imagined.
You have no idea
what a relief it was to just...
...not talk about myself
and my problems all day.
And darned if it didn't end up
helping my problems out.
l hate when that happens.
You seem less self-absorbed
than when you got here.
Better get yourself
back to L.A. proper fast.
Yeah, really.
l don't know, l think
it was just seeing somebody...
...l admire, give up on life like that.
l might be floundering for my
next move, but l'm not that bad.
Dawson, l haven't given up on life.
l'm talking about Toni Stark.
Oh, right.
See? You're good.
The next time you come,
you bring me NyQuil.
There doesn't have to be
a next time. You're almost out of here.
l don't know.
As much as l hate it here...
...l'm sort of scared more
of what's beyond the gate.
Because it's all kind of a blur...
...but l don't think l left things
on the best of terms.
lt can all be just like it was.
Minus the bad parts.
You know, actually...
...l kind of don't think it can.
But l'm kind of glad about that.
Come here.
Thank you.
-Bye.
-See you.
So you really used to
go out with Joey, huh?
-Who have you been talking to?
-lf you didn't keep ditching me...
-...to go make out with women.
-l was just playing by the rules.
Joey was being very adamant.
What did she tell you?
Nothing, really.
But l would love to
see your work sometime.
Oh, no, l don't-- l don't--
l don't think so.
But l am sorry for being
distracted tonight.
lt's just that, you know, this whole...
...Gus-bomb that Emma dropped
is just kind of shocking.
Yeah, but crisis averted.
lt's almost like it never happened.
Well, l'm just worried.
You know, l mean, l just--
l had no idea that things...
...were so desperate for her.
-What's she gonna do now?
-lt's a bad situation.
But, you know, it isn't exactly
your problem to solve.
l mean, there isn't really
much you can do...
...unless you wanna
go marry her yourself.
Wait. What are you doing?
Are you getting dressed?
Well, yeah. l think some
people wanna get in here.
Don't. Make them wait.
Their coats aren't that nice anyway.
-You're the one lolling around in them.
-l know, exactly. Come here.
Okay.
This sure beats arguing about
whether or not l've had a drink.
No, that was fun for a while too.
Well, you weren't entirely wrong.
Yeah, well, l wasn't entirely
right either. l mean....
lt's your life. You know what
you're doing with it.
Not really.
But this is pretty nice right here.
l got nervous tonight.
When l saw...
...Pacey.
Reminded me of all the...
...the drama.
l don't know, l just....
l guess l just wanted to make
you happy. Try to be normal.
l would be unhappy
if you were normal.
Besides, l thought that's what l was
trying to do. l had this plan...
...that l was not going to
have a drink tonight.
And you and l were just
going to talk about philosophy.
That's not normal party behaviour.
l don't care about
any of that stuff anymore.
l mean, l just wanna...
...do this.
Can we do this?
This? Think we just did.
l think that some coat owners aren't
gonna be too happy with the result.
Seriously, l....
l don't wanna date the idea of you.
And l don't want you to fall
for some false idea of me.
You tried faking me out
before, remember?
You're not very good at it.
l know. We should get out of here.
You're gonna have to surrender
this coat first, you know that?
No, this is Joey's coat.
She has enough coats.
Come on, let's go get wasted.
Totally, dude.
-See you, guys.
-Bye.
So where do you think C.J.
and Jen came from?
l don't even wanna think about it.
Look, l'm sorry about your
failed marriage and everything.
Yeah, thanks, Jack. The sympathy
is just oozing from your voice.
Between a loveless marriage
and going home...
...don't you think going home
would be better?
l mean, at least you'd have
some time to figure some things out.
My folks are great, don't get me
wrong, but it's my mum's dying wish...
...to see me fail.
l can't give her that satisfaction.
l'd be there one day, she'll have me
tutoring the slow kids on the triangle.
lt's musical suicide.
l'm not looking for love right now.
When l find it,
it usually kicks my ass.
lf, at some point, some Christian Bale
type descends upon me.
-So to speak.
-Yeah.
l'll just...
...dump the poor sod l married.
Well, l'm gonna have to have
a little bit of private time...
...with that Christian Bale type
before l can let you marry him.
You know, actually...
...l would be the perfect husband.
You know, l can help you
check out guys.
l can make sure they're not gay.
lt is rather a hassle when you
find that out late in the game.
Plus, you know, l wouldn't be
pawing you all the time, like Gus.
Well, that sounds great.
Let's get married then.
Let's do it.
Yeah.
How much have you had to drink?
l'm just trying to help you out.
We already live together.
Look, why do you think l asked Gus?
Because he's a nasty little creature...
...that l don't care about.
lt's easier that way.
l could never ask that big of
a favour from a friend. l just couldn't.
Well, you don't have to because...
...l'm asking you.
Jack, you are too good.
Well, not really.
-l didn't get you a ring or any--
-That's a good point.
No, you are. You are too good
for that. l couldn't.
l would.
l know.
l know you would, you madman.
l wish l could take advantage of that.
Nope.
l can't ruin two lives.
lt's my mess. l've got to face it.
l've been living too long
in fantasyland.
Go dry those dishes.
And here we are.
Home sweet home.
Already?
Already. l know, it's a long trip up
from the living room.
That was fun.
See, l'm a lovely drunk.
You are indeed, Miss Potter.
l talked to so many
new people tonight.
People love me.
And they love it when you tell them
your friends' dirty little secrets.
Nothing. Never mind.
lt was a wonderful party, Pacey.
Until all the smashes and stuff.
Yeah, the smashing was not so good.
l'm sorry about the television thing.
lt's okay. lt happens.
And l probably was getting
a little too attached.
Can't have that.
No.
And l'm glad you had a good time.
You deserved it.
And you are a lovely
and wise drunk, Miss Potter.
What you said earlier was right.
l never did.
How could l?
Just look at you.
You know what else we never did?
Your turn now.
Sweet dreams, Joey.