Dawson's Creek (1998–2003): Season 6, Episode 11 - Day Out of Days - full transcript
During a typical five-day work week, Joey is incessantly trying to reach Eddie while dealing with Harley Hetson showing up at Hell's Kitchen every day after cutting school. When Harley persuades Joey to see Eddie, she is devastated after finding out that Eddie has moved out of his apartment without saying a word. But Joey manages to persuade Harley to behave like an adult, and she also finally stands up to the intimidating Professor Hetson to help him look after Harley once in a while. Meanwhile, Pacey begins skipping work by hanging out at the Boston Aquarium with Emma. But any romance between Pacey and Emma is quashed when Rich Rinaldi buries Pacey with more paperwork, making him miss his lunch date at the aquarium with Emma. Jen starts working as a peer counselor with C.J., but her personal interests get in the way of her work. Jack and David both get tested for HIV which leads to them talking about their sexual pasts. Dawson and Todd fly to Los Angeles after photography on Todd's movie, "Wicked Dead" finally wraps up. But Heather Tracy and the executive producer, Larry Newman, want Todd to re-shoot the entire ending. After Todd's refuses, due to his pride and ego, he gets fired and Dawson is ordered to step in as director. Also in L.A., Audrey goes back to her roots by hanging out with her party-loving friend Jack Osbourne.
Time of wrap, please, Dawson.
1 2:07 a.m.
So that's what, Monday?
1 2:07 a.m. sometime in January...
...and we have done it, people.
We have finished
principal photography.
So although it's rather
out of character for me...
...l'd like to take this opportunity
to thank all of you...
...for all your hard work
and to propose a toast.
To us and our movie.
Cheers.
Strange, isn't it...
...that all this will be gone tomorrow,
like it never existed?
-Hey.
-Nice speech, by the way.
And don't even bother pretending
it was Todd's idea...
...because that puppy had you
written all over it.
Sincerity, warmth, and a hint
of something, l don't know...
...bittersweet?
Or is it just bitter?
Well, that's what wrap parties
are all about, aren't they?
You're more experienced
at them than l am.
So are you heading back to L.A.
tomorrow, or what?
Yeah, with Todd.
-You?
-Afternoon flight.
Max got me a small part
in that Spielberg film he's doing.
You know, it's like two days' work
or whatever, but who knows?
Maybe it'll lead to bigger things.
Knowing you, Natasha,
l'm certain it will.
ls that a little attitude?
A break in the oh-so-professional...
...on-set demeanour you've cultivated
since the New Year?
Not everyone is acting every second
of their lives, you know.
No, maybe not,
but in Hollywood, they are.
So goodbye, Dawson.
Good luck out there.
l have a funny feeling about you.
-What's that?
-That you're gonna need it.
Hi.
lt's me. And l'm back at school.
l mean, l've been back.
l wasn't going to call,
because you didn't call me...
...and l have pride,
but not enough, because you win.
l'm being the typical girl
and calling you.
ln retrospect, l really don't think
Christmas went that badly...
...if you grade it on a
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? scale.
But, anyway, you're probably out
pounding the pavements and stuff...
...so just give me a call
when you get a chance, or whenever.
Okay. Bye.
So how'd you get in here?
You don't look a day over 1 6.
People always think l'm 1 6,
but, duh, l am totally 1 8.
Don't you mean 1 5?
Nice talking to you guys.
-Maniac.
-Harley, what are you doing here?
l thought Christmas vacation was over
for the Britney and Christina set.
l'm not on vacation.
Unfortunately, l live here now.
Where's Eddie? He's the only
nice person l know here...
...and he still owes me
a root beer float.
You live here full-time now?
As in, full-time with your father?
Yes. Why are you smiling?
Sorry, it's just...
...your father's
such a great guy...
...he deserves to have such
a well-behaved teenage girl...
...living with him full-time.
Speaking of which,
why aren't you in school right now?
lf l tell you, will you tell me
where Eddie is?
-Out with it.
-Okay, fine.
l was on a field trip and l ditched.
You would too
if your life was ruined...
...by your mother's sudden need
to do research in Bangladesh.
Harley, your life isn't ruined.
You're just being melodramatic.
Right. Like you would know
what it's like to have your life ruined?
Look, he's not here, okay?
Eddie.
And to be honest,
l don't exactly know where he is.
Man, l can't believe
you messed it up with him.
He was amazing.
He was beyond amazing.
Look, l'll get you a root beer float,
then you have to go back to school.
l don't care how miserable it is.
lt's just life.
Life is miserable.
Shouldn't you do that
in a museum?
Oh, bloody hell.
-Sorry. l didn't mean to scare you.
-Well, you did.
lt's not the sort of place
you expect to find stockbrokers.
Give me a break,
l'm on my lunch hour.
-Mind if l sit?
-No, go ahead, but don't sit too close.
l know, that overwhelming
attraction's getting to you, huh?
-That's not it exactly.
-Really?
No. l just don't want anyone to know
that you're with me.
Thanks.
-What are you doing here, anyway?
-l work near here. l come here a lot.
The better question is,
what are you doing here?
l'm just killing time till 1 :00.
What happens at 1 :00?
Well, you should know this,
since you come here all the time.
On my lunch hour,
which happens at noon.
So l come here, l walk around,
have a slice of pizza...
-...and l'm out the door by 1 2:45.
-Back to work.
That's why they call it '' lunch hour.''
Because if was to stay till after 1 ...
...when l got to work,
it'd be the '' lunch hour and a half'' ...
-...and we just can't have that, now.
-Then l don't want to keep you.
Excuse me?
lt's 1 2:46.
Right.
All right. Then l'll--
l'll just see you back home.
Well, of course it sucks.
That's why they call it life.
And what is it, really...
...other than an endless
series of mind-numbing days...
...one on top of another?
Alienation, despair...
...these are the natural by-products
of living in a mechanized--
-Okay, stop.
-Stop?
Yeah.
A lot of people get depressed
this time of year.
And l don't think they're calling in,
hoping to talk to Kierkegaard.
But you said he was
a philosophy major.
Whatever. Look, l--
l don't wanna fight, okay?
l get annoyed, you get defensive.
Let's just move on to the next one.
No, let's not. l quit.
You can't quit.
You haven't even started yet.
lt's your first day of training.
Well, if the training consists
of sitting here for a week...
-...and listening to you act superior--
-l've been doing this for two years.
Great. Well, maybe your expertise
will come in handy...
...when we get to
a hypothetical situation...
...involving casual sex
and a couple of blond girls.
Maybe you're right about one thing.
Let's call it a day.
So come back tomorrow
or don't come back...
...but whatever you decide,
you should make it about you, not me.
Damn.
-What?
-There's no good magazines to read.
That's it? l mean,
you're not at all nervous about this?
Oh, it's a piece of cake.
l've done it like a million times.
-A million?
-Give or take.
l'd be a pretty hypocritical counsellor
if l didn't practice what l preached.
Right.
Seriously, it's no big deal.
The most embarrassing part...
...is when they ask what
risky behaviour you've engaged in...
...in the past few months.
Only thing l come up with is eating
carbs after 9 p.m. and jaywalking.
Jack McPhee?
lt's fine.
'' Blindingly dull.'' ''Achingly dull.''
'' Mind-numbingly dull.''
l see. And what do
these little cards prove, exactly?
Other than that you've been
previewing it all along.
They prove we're not done shooting.
That's what they prove.
-Reshoots?
-Absolutely.
More sex. More violence.
Maybe a little twist in the plot...
...that's not predictable
from the very first frame.
l mean, obviously, the goal here is to
try to make this damn thing watchable.
l see. So you're calling
my movie unwatchable?
l don't have to. They did.
-You want me to read some more?
-That won't be necessary, thank you.
Anyone got a light?
lf l'm gonna sit here
and take artistic advice...
...from everyone in Tarzana who
had nothing to do last Wednesday...
...then l bloody well need
some nicotine, all right?
Light, please, Dawson.
You know what?
l'm gonna go get one.
Come on. Pick up the phone.
Reach into the pocket
and pick up the phone.
-Hello?
-Shut up, before you make it worse...
...and get out here.
Hello? Hello?
-Excuse me.
-Where do you think you're going?
Oh, l'm sorry.
Don't mean to be rude.
There's another idiot, in the hall,
that requires my attention.
Just what the hell
do you think you're doing?
l think--
What are you doing?
You're digging a hole
bigger than the La Brea Tar Pits.
Did it occur to you
that was my intention?
-You never wanna work again?
-We're in charge here.
That's all well and good,
except for one thing.
lt's their money.
Look, you brought me here because
l can stay calm in a crisis.
Well, this is it.
lf you don't go in there and act happy
about these reshoots...
...they'll get someone else.
lt could ruin this movie.
-And would that be such a tragedy?
-Yes.
Look, maybe l'm naive for thinking that
the whole system, the whole process...
...can only produce something
that's a notch above mediocre...
...but l want this thing to be good.
l want it to be as good
as it possibly can.
And l wouldn't have
stuck it out with you...
...if you didn't want the same thing.
So we figure three days of reshoots
on a sound stage here in L.A...
...very minimal budget.
The whole idea here is
to come up with a new ending.
Something that's watchable.
Or at the very least,
something that makes sense.
Now, l have no idea
what that's gonna be.
But Heather here
seems fairly confident...
...that given enough
nicotine, alcohol, caffeine...
...you might be able to
pull something off.
Well, that's very charitable of her.
Thank you, sweetheart.
All right, Todd, what's it gonna be?
Well, l can see
where you're coming from.
l can. l can see
where you're coming from.
l can see how you
and other people like yourself...
...people of lesser intelligence,
might be a bit confused by my movie.
And l can see how you don't have
any ideas of your own...
...on how to improve it,
because, after all...
...you're not really in the business
of having ideas, are you?
Oh, that's right. You think you are.
Well, you're not.
You're in the business
of criticizing other people's ideas.
Which is why,
after much careful consideration...
...l'll be throwing your generous offer
back in your face and leaving.
Goodbye, and good luck
with all your future endeavours.
Well, then, since nobody
seems up to the challenge...
...of convincing me that
Mailer was wrong...
...when he dismissed female writers as
unreadable, that's it for Wednesday.
That can't be Joey Potter.
Guess a D isn't enough to get anyone
thrown out of Worthington anymore.
Sweet, really.
Your concern for my future.
But that's not why l'm subjecting
myself to your toxic personality.
Then l'll skip ahead to the part
where l tell you that, no...
...it will never be possible...
...to drop this course without losing
your credits from the first semester.
l don't want to talk to you...
...any more than you
want to listen to me.
l just need to tell you
that your daughter...
...may not be as safely ensconced in
Milton Academy as you think she is.
What does that mean?
She's cutting class, okay?
l'm a little confused
as to why you're telling me.
She came into the bar yesterday,
on the lam from some field trip...
...and God knows where she went
when she left. l just....
Call me crazy,
l just figure these are things...
...a father of a 1 5-year-old girl
on the streets of Boston should know.
The subtext here being that...
...these are things a father would know
if he were paying attention.
-l didn't say that.
-You didn't have to. Look....
Tell you what.
Let's make another one
of our famous deals.
You stay out of my life,
and l'll do my best to stay out of yours.
Gladly. You know,
l'm sorry for the intrusion.
l guess l was naive
enough to think...
...that this might be about something
other than your gigantic male ego.
You' re saying that
that doesn't bother you...
...the whole
life-as-repetitive-stress-injury thing?
No, it does.
But nothing prepares you for a life
of mind-numbing boredom...
...and repetition so much as
studying music as a child.
-Piano lessons?
-Violin.
My mum taught piano, though,
to a series of ever-changing twits...
...who all had one thing in common.
They were allergic to dogs.
-So you had fish.
-Tanks full.
-So, what's yours, then?
-My what?
Your excuse for coming here.
lt can't simply be a matter
of geographic proximity.
No, it's not. lt's....
lt's much like yours, really.
lt's a window into the person
that l used to be.
You used to be another person?
Like you weren't born with pink hair,
l'm not as conservative as you think.
-You're not?
-No, l'm not.
Prove it.
-Stay.
-Stay here?
l don't think
taking an afternoon off...
...is going to send capitalism
screeching to its knees.
No, but it will catapult me to
the top of the Rich Rinaldi firing list.
Yeah, that's such a bloody tragedy.
Here. Call them.
Tell them, l don't know,
that you're sick or something.
-You're serious about this?
-Yeah.
Question is, are you?
Hi. Can l speak to
Rich Rinaldi, please?
Okay, well,
if what you're telling me is true--
You've had unprotected sex with
1 7 women in the last three months.
--then l think
it's a good idea to get tested.
For you and for all of those
hot women you've been sleeping with.
What?
What? l have nailed
many a hot girl in my day.
-Hey, l believe you.
-Thank you.
l volunteer to help you guys and get
criticized for my acting abilities.
Please, like you could
ever be straight.
Your heart is too big
and so is your brain.
-She's hostile.
-Told you.
Could you please not talk about me
like l'm not in the room.
So l have some anger.
Can you tell me there's something
wrong with expressing your emotions?
-Hey.
-Hey.
-Sorry. Am l interrupting anything?
-No, no, it's cool.
We're done here, l think.
Yeah, it's 4:00. We're done.
So you guys think you can get along
without me tomorrow, or what?
Wait a second.
The only reason
you're here all afternoon...
...instead of with me is because
she can't get along with him?
Jen?
Are you mad at me too?
You can't loan me your boyfriend
for one measly hour?
ls he your boyfriend?
Have you guys kissed yet?
Did l miss all of this
over Christmas vacation?
Charming. Let's go.
Why are you looking at me?
Hostile.
So he's changed his mind, has he?
Come to his senses?
Not that his apology's
going to be accepted.
So where is he?
Caught in traffic? Smoking?
Not exactly.
-Dawson?
-Yeah.
Technically, he's not gonna
be here today...
...because, technically, he doesn't
know that this meeting is taking place.
You set this up.
Yeah.
Technically.
You set this up
to apologize for him...
...to smooth things over,
to clean up after his mess.
Like you've been doing all along?
Yeah, kind of.
Look, nobody sets out
to make a bad film.
Todd wants it to be better.
He's too proud to admit it,
but he's got five alternate endings.
This is stuff
we've talked about all along.
lt can easily be done on a sound stage
in three days for no money.
Well, that's all very sweet
and moving.
But since he's not here on his knees,
begging for forgiveness...
...you're wasting my time, my friend.
-Unless....
-Unless what?
Unless the answer
is sitting right in front of us.
-Excuse me?
-Excuse me?
l know this is gonna sound crazy,
but just stay with me for a second.
He knows the footage
we've already shot.
He knows the script,
the actors, the crew.
Personally, from what l've seen,
l think he could do it.
-Wait a minute. Hold on a second.
-What?
-You're saying you can't?
-l'm saying this is insane.
All right, let me ask you this.
Hypothetically, if you had to...
...could you direct
the reshoots of this movie?
-Well, yes, but that's not--
-All right.
-Call his agent.
-l don't think he has one.
Then don't call his agent.
Call his mother,
make her sign a permission slip.
Wait, hold on a second.
This is insane. This is--
This is not why l came here today.
This is not what l wanted to happen.
Well, guess what. lt did.
And since these opportunities
don't come along every day...
...l'd hop on the happy train.
Or, l'm sorry, is being a director
not the fulfilment of a dream...
-...you've been waiting your life for?
-No, it is.
-lt definitely is, but--
-We'll be in touch.
Oh, boy.
So did we ever figure out
whose party this was?
No. Some dude's.
Then l don't suppose
we ever figured out what day it is.
Come on. Give me a break.
-l really vote we take a cab.
-Yeah, and pay the guy with what?
You know, you being famous
doesn't make me any less broke.
-What? You're broke?
-Yes, Jack, Audrey Liddell is broke.
ls that so impossible to believe?
Someone must be paying
too much for their drugs.
Contrary to popular opinion,
l'm not on drugs.
Yeah, right.
l hate to be judgmental
like your college friends...
...but, please, don't rip my lungs out
when you have some bad PCP.
-Shut up, will you? He's coming.
-Who? Your friend?
Dawson. Dawson Leery.
l'm on thin ice
with him right now.
So if you can shut up about drugs for,
l don't know, the next half an hour--
-What? You'll make it worth my while?
-Don't l always?
So l can go through
your underwear drawer?
No. That's gross.
l'll sit on your lap
the whole way home, okay?
-All right. Cool.
-But one word about...
-...any drug, and you've blown it.
-Hey, l have self-control.
l'll believe that when l see it.
l'm gonna go wait in the car.
-Hey, Jack.
-Hey.
Hey.
You came.
Yeah. You called, right?
The fact that l recently destroyed
your house with an automobile...
...must have slipped my mind
when l was dialling.
-l freaked out, okay?
-What, then or right now?
Both, l guess.
What are you even
doing here, Audrey?
-Here in L.A. or at this weird party?
-Either one.
l don't know.
One minute, Jack and l
are in a parking lot off Sunset...
...talking to these guys in a limo...
...and the next minute, we're here,
and it's morning, and....
Like l said, l just freaked...
...and you were the only person
l knew in this area code...
...who would definitely be awake
at this hour.
-What about your parents?
-Please.
Do they even know
that school started back?
No.
l wasn't ready to go back last week.
You know...
...l lied a little bit.
l didn't want to face
the grand tribunal of judgment.
l'm ready now, though.
And l'm gonna be good from now on,
Dawson, l swear.
Just don't be mad.
l mean, don't be any more mad
than you already are.
All right. Just...
...tell me you realize
how stupid it is...
...to get in a car full of strangers
that you meet in a parking lot.
Hey, it's me again.
Look, l get that you're avoiding me.
l do. Many days, no phone calls.
What could be clearer?
But l'm scared now...
...because l don't understand
why you wouldn't call me back.
lt's not like you, okay?
l guess l'm just scared that
something happened to you.
Even if something did happen,
l wouldn't know...
...because, obviously, l'm not
a very important person in your life.
So could you just call me back?
Call me back as soon as possible.
Bye.
-Any luck this time?
-When have l been lucky with men?
He'll call you back, Joey.
l know he will.
Yeah, there's usually a very logical
explanation for this kind of thing.
Yeah, l guess.
Hey, can you guys...?
Pay the bill that's been sitting here
for like a century? Yeah.
You're welcome to stay
as long as you want. lt's just....
l don't feel that great.
l want to get home early.
Yeah, it's no problem. Here.
-Keep the change.
-Thanks. Thanks a lot.
-Bye.
-Bye.
Well, that was depressing.
There's nothing sadder than watching
somebody wait for a phone call...
-...that's never going to come.
-Oh, sure there is.
There's orphans, sick orphans.
Plus, we don't know if
this guy's not gonna call.
Oh, please. We're guys, aren't we?
How many people have you
hooked up with and never called?
A few.
Look, l went out a lot this summer.
-And...?
-l didn't call a few of the guys back.
Look, if a straight guy did it,
it would be rakishly charming.
You meet someone, okay,
you think you like them--
And then after closer examination,
you don't.
Yeah.
But only after
the closer examination part.
Basically.
You gonna give me a lecture here?
-Do you want one?
-Not particularly.
-Fine.
-Fine.
Okay. Let's go, Harley.
You're out of here. Get your coat.
Excuse me?
l don't have the energy
to go through this again.
ln case you've forgotten, we already
played this scene two days ago.
Then you ratted me out to my father,
who grounded me for a month.
So l figured the only way l could repay
you would be to cut class again.
Right. You think
l'm gonna leave you here...
...with a possible date rapist
who thinks you're 1 8?
l'm leaving. You're leaving.
Let's go now.
l can't believe you talked me into
staying for this yesterday.
Big fish eat little fish.
What's the big deal?
This is why
you come here every day?
Well, if it was big company
eating little company, you'd love it.
And for the record,
l don't come here every day.
-You don't?
-Not normally, no.
Just when l have a hangover.
So then what was this week?
Some sort of special occasion?
Look, l've just been wondering,
what's it all for?
l mean, if what you've told me
over the last couple of days is true...
...then you've changed your entire life,
and l'm not sure why.
How the hell should l know?
Why does anybody change their life?
Why do people dye their hair?
To piss off their mum?
Or to try to be somebody else?
For me, it would be the latter.
-Why do you wanna be someone else?
-Because that's a part of growing up.
Pacey at 1 5 was a bit of a schmuck.
Bad haircut, bad Hawaiian shirts,
broke all the time.
Dumb enough to chase things
he knew he would never get.
-Mostly women, l suppose.
-Mostly.
Though there were a few girls.
And you are allowed to call them girls
when they're 1 6.
Not that you care what l think...
...but l don't think he sounds that bad,
this person you used to be.
He actually sounds kind of nice.
Yeah, well, maybe he was,
occasionally.
Still could be.
Quit the job.
Get rid of that goatee.
Grow back the terrible haircut.
What if l told you l'd actually
been thinking about that lately?
l'm not sure l'd believe that.
-Unless....
-Unless what?
Unless you showed up here
again tomorrow, promptly at 1 :00...
...wearing some
wretched Hawaiian T-shirt.
You know that that's not true.
lf a girl doesn't have
a perfect relationship with her father...
...it doesn't mean she won't be able
to have a meaningful relationship in--
Hello?
Hello?
She hung up on me.
My first real, non-hypothetical caller...
...and she hung up on me.
Somebody walked in the room.
She got embarrassed, hung up.
You're just trying
to make me feel better.
-You were doing fine.
-Why did this have to be boy trouble?
Why couldn't it have been
a nice eating disorder...
...or a homesick freshman
in need of an ego boost?
-You gonna answer that?
-No.
She talked to you.
She'll wanna talk to you.
No, l-- l don't wanna answer it.
l'm just gonna mess it up again.
You do it.
-Are you sure?
-Yes. Just answer it.
Help Line, this is C.J.
No, she had to
step away for a second.
Yeah, she's a--
She's a little high-strung.
Oh, let's give her a break, though.
lt's her first day.
Yeah, yeah, it is hard to talk
when other people are in the room.
All right, call me back
in 1 0 minutes when they're gone.
Yeah, l'll be here.
All right.
Promise me you'll call me back.
Okay. Bye.
What?
Nothing.
Hello? Every third store
we're passing sells liquor.
Shouldn't this indicate
that we're not in a great part of town?
You wanted to walk on the wild side,
so since your dad is in class until 6....
We're here.
-Where are we, anyway?
-Nowhere, okay?
l just have to do something.
'' Eddie Doling, 3A''?
l thought you didn't know
where he was.
l don't. l know where he lives.
l just don't know where he is.
Well, perhaps you've
heard of the telephone?
-lt's a helpful stalking tool.
-l tried that already, Harley, thank you.
When a girl
leaves a slew of messages...
-...for her boyfriend--
-Boyfriend?
That means one thing.
You slept with him.
-What did you just say?
-l asked if you slept with the boy.
You know, had sex?
Gone all the way?
l thought that's what you said.
Yeah, so, what's the problem?
Nothing. l guess l....
l had forgotten what a sophisticated
woman of the world you are.
You're probably not even a virgin.
Probably lost it years ago...
...to a trucker named Bubba, right?
-l don't get it.
-You're not supposed to.
Look, go.
l'm not in the mood for this.
So what? Just because l'm 1 5,
l'm not even allowed to talk about sex?
No, you can talk about it.
And then when you're 1 9...
...you can look back and realize
what an idiot you sounded like.
Oh, right,
because you're so smart now.
You must know
exactly what you're doing.
That's why you came here
to stalk someone...
...who hasn't called you back
since you decided to sleep with him.
What?
What's the big deal?
We're in the wrong apartment, right?
Joey?
l mean, this obviously isn't it, right?
You got the numbers
switched or something.
Joey?
l must say, your idea of casual Friday
leaves a little to be desired, Witter.
Could we discuss your fashion
do's and don'ts another time?
Like, say, after lunch?
Lunch? Think again, my friend.
-What's all that?
-Extra work.
Did you think your little mini-vacation
would have no consequences?
l told you l was sick.
Yeah, well, l don't get sick myself.
And you know what kills me
about people who do?
-What's that?
-How they never seem to realize...
...that being sick doesn't decrease
the quantity of work.
lt means someone else has to do it.
lt doesn't seem very fair
to your colleagues.
l can tell you're all broken up
about that, Rich.
But maybe what
really upsets you...
...is that they don't open up
as many accounts as me.
Getting a little unnecessarily
cocky here, aren't we?
Cocky, yes, unnecessary, no.
Because we know
that how much money you make...
...is proportional
to how much money we make.
Yeah, well, that may be true,
but my attitude isn't the problem.
Yours is, and l expect to see
a change in it soon, very soon.
Here. Maybe this will help. Thanks.
l love January,
because that's when this comes.
-What, my pay check?
-Thanks.
Not your pay check, Witter, your W-2.
l'm not sure what's in it...
...but l'm guessing it's more
than they pay fry cooks.
Like you would have any idea.
Any time you want to quit
and go back to the easy life...
...be my guest,
but as long as you work here...
...the only lunches you're gonna
be going to are the ones you cater...
...in your mind.
So this is what it's like
when you're actually working, huh?
This is it.
l thought the phones
would ring a little more.
No, it doesn't really work like that.
l mean, think about it.
Think about
how stubborn people are.
How hard it is for them
to ask for help...
...or actually admit
they're wrong about something.
Yeah, you're probably right.
-Listen, C.J.--
-Oh, it's almost 4.
-Caffeine fix?
-You're asking me if l want coffee?
Yeah. l'm just gonna
go out to the cart.
Oh, no, no. No, you're not.
You're not leaving me here alone.
Yeah, l am.
No, you're not.
Because if you leave, then
the phone will most certainly ring...
...and it'll be someone who
wants to talk to some--
Yeah. That's what you're here for.
Yeah, except you know
what you're doing, and l don't...
...which is why you shouldn't go.
A few days ago,
you couldn't stand to be around me...
...and now you don't
want me to leave.
-Can't a person change in a week?
-l don't know. Can she?
Sure you don't want anything?
No? Okay, l'll be right back.
Kierkegaard.
-Just one coffee.
-Okay.
Hello, Help Line.
Well...
...if we're being completely honest,
which l hope we are...
...l'm not entirely
sure if l can help you.
But-- But l'd like to try, so....
So you gonna tell me or what?
-Nothing to tell.
-Cool.
-Let me-- Let me ask you something.
-Yeah?
You know, all that stuff
we talked about yesterday...
...did that fundamentally alter
your opinion of me in any way?
Yeah, right.
Like l couldn't tell from a mile away
that you were way sluttier than me.
What?
Jack, give me some credit.
l mean, look at you.
You're ridiculously good-looking.
-l mean, you're no Viggo--
-Yeah, okay, that-- That's great.
Let's go.
-What, we're leaving?
-Well, yeah.
l'm not gonna have
this conversation with you here.
l'm sorry, but l think--
-Hey, hey, David.
-Yeah?
Shut up.
Yeah, l think l could do that.
One of Barthelme's central tenets
was his belief...
...that only by juxtaposing disjointed,
quite often absurd fragments of time...
...could one truly replicate
the emotional tenor of real life.
Can someone give me an example?
Joey?
Okay, pick a story, any story.
Wait, l'll pick one for you.
The School.
How about that? Ring any bells?
-Yes.
-What's it about?
A teacher trying to
explain something to his students.
-What's he trying to explain?
-Death and loss.
Why is he trying to explain it?
Because it keeps happening to them,
like this endless cycle.
l mean, first the orange trees, then
the herb garden, then the tropical fish.
You know, it's absurd,
really, because...
...one minute, they're there,
the next minute...
...they're gone.
And the thing that's true,
the part of it that's true, that's real...
...is that no one ever does
explain it to them, because...
-...no one can.
-That's great, Joey.
You forgot all about
the snakes and puppies, but--
Look, we're out of time for today.
Monday, everyone, Saul Bellow.
Got a second, Potter?
-What's this?
-This is 50 bucks.
l know you're poor, but don't tell me
you've never seen 50 bucks before.
-l don't get it.
-For taking care of Harley yesterday.
She said that you
helped her out with something...
...said she was
having some kind of a crisis.
-She was having the crisis?
-Yes.
Look, just take the money.
lt'd be a lot easier for me than trying
to be nice to you for the semester.
Wait a second.
Why would you be nice to me? Why?
Because...
...as you pointed out the other day,
this really isn't about me.
Her mother's gone, and her father....
ls a gigantic scuzzbucket?
Yes, he is, actually.
Most days, anyway,
according to her.
You, on the other hand,
she seems to like.
Yeah, well, l'm very likable.
But likable and poor.
Fifty dollars, three times a week.
Sixty-five, and l'll help with homework,
if she'd want help from a D student.
Deal.
Here.
-What's that?
-Fifty bucks. No charge for yesterday.
-Look, don't do me any favours, Potter.
-l'm not.
-You wouldn't understand, okay?
-What is it, a girl thing or something?
No, it's a human-being thing.
So you found me, then, did you?
Called the surf report. There were only
so many beaches you could be at.
l can see l'm gonna have to get
one of those Men in Black dealies...
...deprogram you,
now that our long association is over.
lt's too dangerous, isn't it?
Having that much information
floating around...
...just waiting
to be used against you?
l came by to apologize.
For what? For stealing me job?
After you told them no yesterday,
like the idiot you are, they called me.
They even apologized,
as much as they're capable of.
What's next? We do reshoots here?
We go back to Boston? What?
l'm sorry, mate.
You misunderstood me.
We're not doing anything.
You are.
l went through this before.
-l'm not gonna--
-Not gonna what?
Not gonna benefit from being
at the right place at the right time?
That's all it is, you know.
Doesn't mean
you're actually going places...
...or that you're more
talented than me.
God, no. You're, like...
...barely functional, but you're...
...like, my mentor.
-What, not Steven bloody Spielberg?
-Well, he...
...hasn't been
returning my phone calls.
Just don't make it any worse, okay?
And listen, the absolute first thing
you have to do when you're on set...
...is take a picture of
Natasha's face...
...at the exact moment that
she's introduced to her new director...
...because that's something
l bloody well have to see.
Coming?
1 2:07 a.m.
So that's what, Monday?
1 2:07 a.m. sometime in January...
...and we have done it, people.
We have finished
principal photography.
So although it's rather
out of character for me...
...l'd like to take this opportunity
to thank all of you...
...for all your hard work
and to propose a toast.
To us and our movie.
Cheers.
Strange, isn't it...
...that all this will be gone tomorrow,
like it never existed?
-Hey.
-Nice speech, by the way.
And don't even bother pretending
it was Todd's idea...
...because that puppy had you
written all over it.
Sincerity, warmth, and a hint
of something, l don't know...
...bittersweet?
Or is it just bitter?
Well, that's what wrap parties
are all about, aren't they?
You're more experienced
at them than l am.
So are you heading back to L.A.
tomorrow, or what?
Yeah, with Todd.
-You?
-Afternoon flight.
Max got me a small part
in that Spielberg film he's doing.
You know, it's like two days' work
or whatever, but who knows?
Maybe it'll lead to bigger things.
Knowing you, Natasha,
l'm certain it will.
ls that a little attitude?
A break in the oh-so-professional...
...on-set demeanour you've cultivated
since the New Year?
Not everyone is acting every second
of their lives, you know.
No, maybe not,
but in Hollywood, they are.
So goodbye, Dawson.
Good luck out there.
l have a funny feeling about you.
-What's that?
-That you're gonna need it.
Hi.
lt's me. And l'm back at school.
l mean, l've been back.
l wasn't going to call,
because you didn't call me...
...and l have pride,
but not enough, because you win.
l'm being the typical girl
and calling you.
ln retrospect, l really don't think
Christmas went that badly...
...if you grade it on a
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? scale.
But, anyway, you're probably out
pounding the pavements and stuff...
...so just give me a call
when you get a chance, or whenever.
Okay. Bye.
So how'd you get in here?
You don't look a day over 1 6.
People always think l'm 1 6,
but, duh, l am totally 1 8.
Don't you mean 1 5?
Nice talking to you guys.
-Maniac.
-Harley, what are you doing here?
l thought Christmas vacation was over
for the Britney and Christina set.
l'm not on vacation.
Unfortunately, l live here now.
Where's Eddie? He's the only
nice person l know here...
...and he still owes me
a root beer float.
You live here full-time now?
As in, full-time with your father?
Yes. Why are you smiling?
Sorry, it's just...
...your father's
such a great guy...
...he deserves to have such
a well-behaved teenage girl...
...living with him full-time.
Speaking of which,
why aren't you in school right now?
lf l tell you, will you tell me
where Eddie is?
-Out with it.
-Okay, fine.
l was on a field trip and l ditched.
You would too
if your life was ruined...
...by your mother's sudden need
to do research in Bangladesh.
Harley, your life isn't ruined.
You're just being melodramatic.
Right. Like you would know
what it's like to have your life ruined?
Look, he's not here, okay?
Eddie.
And to be honest,
l don't exactly know where he is.
Man, l can't believe
you messed it up with him.
He was amazing.
He was beyond amazing.
Look, l'll get you a root beer float,
then you have to go back to school.
l don't care how miserable it is.
lt's just life.
Life is miserable.
Shouldn't you do that
in a museum?
Oh, bloody hell.
-Sorry. l didn't mean to scare you.
-Well, you did.
lt's not the sort of place
you expect to find stockbrokers.
Give me a break,
l'm on my lunch hour.
-Mind if l sit?
-No, go ahead, but don't sit too close.
l know, that overwhelming
attraction's getting to you, huh?
-That's not it exactly.
-Really?
No. l just don't want anyone to know
that you're with me.
Thanks.
-What are you doing here, anyway?
-l work near here. l come here a lot.
The better question is,
what are you doing here?
l'm just killing time till 1 :00.
What happens at 1 :00?
Well, you should know this,
since you come here all the time.
On my lunch hour,
which happens at noon.
So l come here, l walk around,
have a slice of pizza...
-...and l'm out the door by 1 2:45.
-Back to work.
That's why they call it '' lunch hour.''
Because if was to stay till after 1 ...
...when l got to work,
it'd be the '' lunch hour and a half'' ...
-...and we just can't have that, now.
-Then l don't want to keep you.
Excuse me?
lt's 1 2:46.
Right.
All right. Then l'll--
l'll just see you back home.
Well, of course it sucks.
That's why they call it life.
And what is it, really...
...other than an endless
series of mind-numbing days...
...one on top of another?
Alienation, despair...
...these are the natural by-products
of living in a mechanized--
-Okay, stop.
-Stop?
Yeah.
A lot of people get depressed
this time of year.
And l don't think they're calling in,
hoping to talk to Kierkegaard.
But you said he was
a philosophy major.
Whatever. Look, l--
l don't wanna fight, okay?
l get annoyed, you get defensive.
Let's just move on to the next one.
No, let's not. l quit.
You can't quit.
You haven't even started yet.
lt's your first day of training.
Well, if the training consists
of sitting here for a week...
-...and listening to you act superior--
-l've been doing this for two years.
Great. Well, maybe your expertise
will come in handy...
...when we get to
a hypothetical situation...
...involving casual sex
and a couple of blond girls.
Maybe you're right about one thing.
Let's call it a day.
So come back tomorrow
or don't come back...
...but whatever you decide,
you should make it about you, not me.
Damn.
-What?
-There's no good magazines to read.
That's it? l mean,
you're not at all nervous about this?
Oh, it's a piece of cake.
l've done it like a million times.
-A million?
-Give or take.
l'd be a pretty hypocritical counsellor
if l didn't practice what l preached.
Right.
Seriously, it's no big deal.
The most embarrassing part...
...is when they ask what
risky behaviour you've engaged in...
...in the past few months.
Only thing l come up with is eating
carbs after 9 p.m. and jaywalking.
Jack McPhee?
lt's fine.
'' Blindingly dull.'' ''Achingly dull.''
'' Mind-numbingly dull.''
l see. And what do
these little cards prove, exactly?
Other than that you've been
previewing it all along.
They prove we're not done shooting.
That's what they prove.
-Reshoots?
-Absolutely.
More sex. More violence.
Maybe a little twist in the plot...
...that's not predictable
from the very first frame.
l mean, obviously, the goal here is to
try to make this damn thing watchable.
l see. So you're calling
my movie unwatchable?
l don't have to. They did.
-You want me to read some more?
-That won't be necessary, thank you.
Anyone got a light?
lf l'm gonna sit here
and take artistic advice...
...from everyone in Tarzana who
had nothing to do last Wednesday...
...then l bloody well need
some nicotine, all right?
Light, please, Dawson.
You know what?
l'm gonna go get one.
Come on. Pick up the phone.
Reach into the pocket
and pick up the phone.
-Hello?
-Shut up, before you make it worse...
...and get out here.
Hello? Hello?
-Excuse me.
-Where do you think you're going?
Oh, l'm sorry.
Don't mean to be rude.
There's another idiot, in the hall,
that requires my attention.
Just what the hell
do you think you're doing?
l think--
What are you doing?
You're digging a hole
bigger than the La Brea Tar Pits.
Did it occur to you
that was my intention?
-You never wanna work again?
-We're in charge here.
That's all well and good,
except for one thing.
lt's their money.
Look, you brought me here because
l can stay calm in a crisis.
Well, this is it.
lf you don't go in there and act happy
about these reshoots...
...they'll get someone else.
lt could ruin this movie.
-And would that be such a tragedy?
-Yes.
Look, maybe l'm naive for thinking that
the whole system, the whole process...
...can only produce something
that's a notch above mediocre...
...but l want this thing to be good.
l want it to be as good
as it possibly can.
And l wouldn't have
stuck it out with you...
...if you didn't want the same thing.
So we figure three days of reshoots
on a sound stage here in L.A...
...very minimal budget.
The whole idea here is
to come up with a new ending.
Something that's watchable.
Or at the very least,
something that makes sense.
Now, l have no idea
what that's gonna be.
But Heather here
seems fairly confident...
...that given enough
nicotine, alcohol, caffeine...
...you might be able to
pull something off.
Well, that's very charitable of her.
Thank you, sweetheart.
All right, Todd, what's it gonna be?
Well, l can see
where you're coming from.
l can. l can see
where you're coming from.
l can see how you
and other people like yourself...
...people of lesser intelligence,
might be a bit confused by my movie.
And l can see how you don't have
any ideas of your own...
...on how to improve it,
because, after all...
...you're not really in the business
of having ideas, are you?
Oh, that's right. You think you are.
Well, you're not.
You're in the business
of criticizing other people's ideas.
Which is why,
after much careful consideration...
...l'll be throwing your generous offer
back in your face and leaving.
Goodbye, and good luck
with all your future endeavours.
Well, then, since nobody
seems up to the challenge...
...of convincing me that
Mailer was wrong...
...when he dismissed female writers as
unreadable, that's it for Wednesday.
That can't be Joey Potter.
Guess a D isn't enough to get anyone
thrown out of Worthington anymore.
Sweet, really.
Your concern for my future.
But that's not why l'm subjecting
myself to your toxic personality.
Then l'll skip ahead to the part
where l tell you that, no...
...it will never be possible...
...to drop this course without losing
your credits from the first semester.
l don't want to talk to you...
...any more than you
want to listen to me.
l just need to tell you
that your daughter...
...may not be as safely ensconced in
Milton Academy as you think she is.
What does that mean?
She's cutting class, okay?
l'm a little confused
as to why you're telling me.
She came into the bar yesterday,
on the lam from some field trip...
...and God knows where she went
when she left. l just....
Call me crazy,
l just figure these are things...
...a father of a 1 5-year-old girl
on the streets of Boston should know.
The subtext here being that...
...these are things a father would know
if he were paying attention.
-l didn't say that.
-You didn't have to. Look....
Tell you what.
Let's make another one
of our famous deals.
You stay out of my life,
and l'll do my best to stay out of yours.
Gladly. You know,
l'm sorry for the intrusion.
l guess l was naive
enough to think...
...that this might be about something
other than your gigantic male ego.
You' re saying that
that doesn't bother you...
...the whole
life-as-repetitive-stress-injury thing?
No, it does.
But nothing prepares you for a life
of mind-numbing boredom...
...and repetition so much as
studying music as a child.
-Piano lessons?
-Violin.
My mum taught piano, though,
to a series of ever-changing twits...
...who all had one thing in common.
They were allergic to dogs.
-So you had fish.
-Tanks full.
-So, what's yours, then?
-My what?
Your excuse for coming here.
lt can't simply be a matter
of geographic proximity.
No, it's not. lt's....
lt's much like yours, really.
lt's a window into the person
that l used to be.
You used to be another person?
Like you weren't born with pink hair,
l'm not as conservative as you think.
-You're not?
-No, l'm not.
Prove it.
-Stay.
-Stay here?
l don't think
taking an afternoon off...
...is going to send capitalism
screeching to its knees.
No, but it will catapult me to
the top of the Rich Rinaldi firing list.
Yeah, that's such a bloody tragedy.
Here. Call them.
Tell them, l don't know,
that you're sick or something.
-You're serious about this?
-Yeah.
Question is, are you?
Hi. Can l speak to
Rich Rinaldi, please?
Okay, well,
if what you're telling me is true--
You've had unprotected sex with
1 7 women in the last three months.
--then l think
it's a good idea to get tested.
For you and for all of those
hot women you've been sleeping with.
What?
What? l have nailed
many a hot girl in my day.
-Hey, l believe you.
-Thank you.
l volunteer to help you guys and get
criticized for my acting abilities.
Please, like you could
ever be straight.
Your heart is too big
and so is your brain.
-She's hostile.
-Told you.
Could you please not talk about me
like l'm not in the room.
So l have some anger.
Can you tell me there's something
wrong with expressing your emotions?
-Hey.
-Hey.
-Sorry. Am l interrupting anything?
-No, no, it's cool.
We're done here, l think.
Yeah, it's 4:00. We're done.
So you guys think you can get along
without me tomorrow, or what?
Wait a second.
The only reason
you're here all afternoon...
...instead of with me is because
she can't get along with him?
Jen?
Are you mad at me too?
You can't loan me your boyfriend
for one measly hour?
ls he your boyfriend?
Have you guys kissed yet?
Did l miss all of this
over Christmas vacation?
Charming. Let's go.
Why are you looking at me?
Hostile.
So he's changed his mind, has he?
Come to his senses?
Not that his apology's
going to be accepted.
So where is he?
Caught in traffic? Smoking?
Not exactly.
-Dawson?
-Yeah.
Technically, he's not gonna
be here today...
...because, technically, he doesn't
know that this meeting is taking place.
You set this up.
Yeah.
Technically.
You set this up
to apologize for him...
...to smooth things over,
to clean up after his mess.
Like you've been doing all along?
Yeah, kind of.
Look, nobody sets out
to make a bad film.
Todd wants it to be better.
He's too proud to admit it,
but he's got five alternate endings.
This is stuff
we've talked about all along.
lt can easily be done on a sound stage
in three days for no money.
Well, that's all very sweet
and moving.
But since he's not here on his knees,
begging for forgiveness...
...you're wasting my time, my friend.
-Unless....
-Unless what?
Unless the answer
is sitting right in front of us.
-Excuse me?
-Excuse me?
l know this is gonna sound crazy,
but just stay with me for a second.
He knows the footage
we've already shot.
He knows the script,
the actors, the crew.
Personally, from what l've seen,
l think he could do it.
-Wait a minute. Hold on a second.
-What?
-You're saying you can't?
-l'm saying this is insane.
All right, let me ask you this.
Hypothetically, if you had to...
...could you direct
the reshoots of this movie?
-Well, yes, but that's not--
-All right.
-Call his agent.
-l don't think he has one.
Then don't call his agent.
Call his mother,
make her sign a permission slip.
Wait, hold on a second.
This is insane. This is--
This is not why l came here today.
This is not what l wanted to happen.
Well, guess what. lt did.
And since these opportunities
don't come along every day...
...l'd hop on the happy train.
Or, l'm sorry, is being a director
not the fulfilment of a dream...
-...you've been waiting your life for?
-No, it is.
-lt definitely is, but--
-We'll be in touch.
Oh, boy.
So did we ever figure out
whose party this was?
No. Some dude's.
Then l don't suppose
we ever figured out what day it is.
Come on. Give me a break.
-l really vote we take a cab.
-Yeah, and pay the guy with what?
You know, you being famous
doesn't make me any less broke.
-What? You're broke?
-Yes, Jack, Audrey Liddell is broke.
ls that so impossible to believe?
Someone must be paying
too much for their drugs.
Contrary to popular opinion,
l'm not on drugs.
Yeah, right.
l hate to be judgmental
like your college friends...
...but, please, don't rip my lungs out
when you have some bad PCP.
-Shut up, will you? He's coming.
-Who? Your friend?
Dawson. Dawson Leery.
l'm on thin ice
with him right now.
So if you can shut up about drugs for,
l don't know, the next half an hour--
-What? You'll make it worth my while?
-Don't l always?
So l can go through
your underwear drawer?
No. That's gross.
l'll sit on your lap
the whole way home, okay?
-All right. Cool.
-But one word about...
-...any drug, and you've blown it.
-Hey, l have self-control.
l'll believe that when l see it.
l'm gonna go wait in the car.
-Hey, Jack.
-Hey.
Hey.
You came.
Yeah. You called, right?
The fact that l recently destroyed
your house with an automobile...
...must have slipped my mind
when l was dialling.
-l freaked out, okay?
-What, then or right now?
Both, l guess.
What are you even
doing here, Audrey?
-Here in L.A. or at this weird party?
-Either one.
l don't know.
One minute, Jack and l
are in a parking lot off Sunset...
...talking to these guys in a limo...
...and the next minute, we're here,
and it's morning, and....
Like l said, l just freaked...
...and you were the only person
l knew in this area code...
...who would definitely be awake
at this hour.
-What about your parents?
-Please.
Do they even know
that school started back?
No.
l wasn't ready to go back last week.
You know...
...l lied a little bit.
l didn't want to face
the grand tribunal of judgment.
l'm ready now, though.
And l'm gonna be good from now on,
Dawson, l swear.
Just don't be mad.
l mean, don't be any more mad
than you already are.
All right. Just...
...tell me you realize
how stupid it is...
...to get in a car full of strangers
that you meet in a parking lot.
Hey, it's me again.
Look, l get that you're avoiding me.
l do. Many days, no phone calls.
What could be clearer?
But l'm scared now...
...because l don't understand
why you wouldn't call me back.
lt's not like you, okay?
l guess l'm just scared that
something happened to you.
Even if something did happen,
l wouldn't know...
...because, obviously, l'm not
a very important person in your life.
So could you just call me back?
Call me back as soon as possible.
Bye.
-Any luck this time?
-When have l been lucky with men?
He'll call you back, Joey.
l know he will.
Yeah, there's usually a very logical
explanation for this kind of thing.
Yeah, l guess.
Hey, can you guys...?
Pay the bill that's been sitting here
for like a century? Yeah.
You're welcome to stay
as long as you want. lt's just....
l don't feel that great.
l want to get home early.
Yeah, it's no problem. Here.
-Keep the change.
-Thanks. Thanks a lot.
-Bye.
-Bye.
Well, that was depressing.
There's nothing sadder than watching
somebody wait for a phone call...
-...that's never going to come.
-Oh, sure there is.
There's orphans, sick orphans.
Plus, we don't know if
this guy's not gonna call.
Oh, please. We're guys, aren't we?
How many people have you
hooked up with and never called?
A few.
Look, l went out a lot this summer.
-And...?
-l didn't call a few of the guys back.
Look, if a straight guy did it,
it would be rakishly charming.
You meet someone, okay,
you think you like them--
And then after closer examination,
you don't.
Yeah.
But only after
the closer examination part.
Basically.
You gonna give me a lecture here?
-Do you want one?
-Not particularly.
-Fine.
-Fine.
Okay. Let's go, Harley.
You're out of here. Get your coat.
Excuse me?
l don't have the energy
to go through this again.
ln case you've forgotten, we already
played this scene two days ago.
Then you ratted me out to my father,
who grounded me for a month.
So l figured the only way l could repay
you would be to cut class again.
Right. You think
l'm gonna leave you here...
...with a possible date rapist
who thinks you're 1 8?
l'm leaving. You're leaving.
Let's go now.
l can't believe you talked me into
staying for this yesterday.
Big fish eat little fish.
What's the big deal?
This is why
you come here every day?
Well, if it was big company
eating little company, you'd love it.
And for the record,
l don't come here every day.
-You don't?
-Not normally, no.
Just when l have a hangover.
So then what was this week?
Some sort of special occasion?
Look, l've just been wondering,
what's it all for?
l mean, if what you've told me
over the last couple of days is true...
...then you've changed your entire life,
and l'm not sure why.
How the hell should l know?
Why does anybody change their life?
Why do people dye their hair?
To piss off their mum?
Or to try to be somebody else?
For me, it would be the latter.
-Why do you wanna be someone else?
-Because that's a part of growing up.
Pacey at 1 5 was a bit of a schmuck.
Bad haircut, bad Hawaiian shirts,
broke all the time.
Dumb enough to chase things
he knew he would never get.
-Mostly women, l suppose.
-Mostly.
Though there were a few girls.
And you are allowed to call them girls
when they're 1 6.
Not that you care what l think...
...but l don't think he sounds that bad,
this person you used to be.
He actually sounds kind of nice.
Yeah, well, maybe he was,
occasionally.
Still could be.
Quit the job.
Get rid of that goatee.
Grow back the terrible haircut.
What if l told you l'd actually
been thinking about that lately?
l'm not sure l'd believe that.
-Unless....
-Unless what?
Unless you showed up here
again tomorrow, promptly at 1 :00...
...wearing some
wretched Hawaiian T-shirt.
You know that that's not true.
lf a girl doesn't have
a perfect relationship with her father...
...it doesn't mean she won't be able
to have a meaningful relationship in--
Hello?
Hello?
She hung up on me.
My first real, non-hypothetical caller...
...and she hung up on me.
Somebody walked in the room.
She got embarrassed, hung up.
You're just trying
to make me feel better.
-You were doing fine.
-Why did this have to be boy trouble?
Why couldn't it have been
a nice eating disorder...
...or a homesick freshman
in need of an ego boost?
-You gonna answer that?
-No.
She talked to you.
She'll wanna talk to you.
No, l-- l don't wanna answer it.
l'm just gonna mess it up again.
You do it.
-Are you sure?
-Yes. Just answer it.
Help Line, this is C.J.
No, she had to
step away for a second.
Yeah, she's a--
She's a little high-strung.
Oh, let's give her a break, though.
lt's her first day.
Yeah, yeah, it is hard to talk
when other people are in the room.
All right, call me back
in 1 0 minutes when they're gone.
Yeah, l'll be here.
All right.
Promise me you'll call me back.
Okay. Bye.
What?
Nothing.
Hello? Every third store
we're passing sells liquor.
Shouldn't this indicate
that we're not in a great part of town?
You wanted to walk on the wild side,
so since your dad is in class until 6....
We're here.
-Where are we, anyway?
-Nowhere, okay?
l just have to do something.
'' Eddie Doling, 3A''?
l thought you didn't know
where he was.
l don't. l know where he lives.
l just don't know where he is.
Well, perhaps you've
heard of the telephone?
-lt's a helpful stalking tool.
-l tried that already, Harley, thank you.
When a girl
leaves a slew of messages...
-...for her boyfriend--
-Boyfriend?
That means one thing.
You slept with him.
-What did you just say?
-l asked if you slept with the boy.
You know, had sex?
Gone all the way?
l thought that's what you said.
Yeah, so, what's the problem?
Nothing. l guess l....
l had forgotten what a sophisticated
woman of the world you are.
You're probably not even a virgin.
Probably lost it years ago...
...to a trucker named Bubba, right?
-l don't get it.
-You're not supposed to.
Look, go.
l'm not in the mood for this.
So what? Just because l'm 1 5,
l'm not even allowed to talk about sex?
No, you can talk about it.
And then when you're 1 9...
...you can look back and realize
what an idiot you sounded like.
Oh, right,
because you're so smart now.
You must know
exactly what you're doing.
That's why you came here
to stalk someone...
...who hasn't called you back
since you decided to sleep with him.
What?
What's the big deal?
We're in the wrong apartment, right?
Joey?
l mean, this obviously isn't it, right?
You got the numbers
switched or something.
Joey?
l must say, your idea of casual Friday
leaves a little to be desired, Witter.
Could we discuss your fashion
do's and don'ts another time?
Like, say, after lunch?
Lunch? Think again, my friend.
-What's all that?
-Extra work.
Did you think your little mini-vacation
would have no consequences?
l told you l was sick.
Yeah, well, l don't get sick myself.
And you know what kills me
about people who do?
-What's that?
-How they never seem to realize...
...that being sick doesn't decrease
the quantity of work.
lt means someone else has to do it.
lt doesn't seem very fair
to your colleagues.
l can tell you're all broken up
about that, Rich.
But maybe what
really upsets you...
...is that they don't open up
as many accounts as me.
Getting a little unnecessarily
cocky here, aren't we?
Cocky, yes, unnecessary, no.
Because we know
that how much money you make...
...is proportional
to how much money we make.
Yeah, well, that may be true,
but my attitude isn't the problem.
Yours is, and l expect to see
a change in it soon, very soon.
Here. Maybe this will help. Thanks.
l love January,
because that's when this comes.
-What, my pay check?
-Thanks.
Not your pay check, Witter, your W-2.
l'm not sure what's in it...
...but l'm guessing it's more
than they pay fry cooks.
Like you would have any idea.
Any time you want to quit
and go back to the easy life...
...be my guest,
but as long as you work here...
...the only lunches you're gonna
be going to are the ones you cater...
...in your mind.
So this is what it's like
when you're actually working, huh?
This is it.
l thought the phones
would ring a little more.
No, it doesn't really work like that.
l mean, think about it.
Think about
how stubborn people are.
How hard it is for them
to ask for help...
...or actually admit
they're wrong about something.
Yeah, you're probably right.
-Listen, C.J.--
-Oh, it's almost 4.
-Caffeine fix?
-You're asking me if l want coffee?
Yeah. l'm just gonna
go out to the cart.
Oh, no, no. No, you're not.
You're not leaving me here alone.
Yeah, l am.
No, you're not.
Because if you leave, then
the phone will most certainly ring...
...and it'll be someone who
wants to talk to some--
Yeah. That's what you're here for.
Yeah, except you know
what you're doing, and l don't...
...which is why you shouldn't go.
A few days ago,
you couldn't stand to be around me...
...and now you don't
want me to leave.
-Can't a person change in a week?
-l don't know. Can she?
Sure you don't want anything?
No? Okay, l'll be right back.
Kierkegaard.
-Just one coffee.
-Okay.
Hello, Help Line.
Well...
...if we're being completely honest,
which l hope we are...
...l'm not entirely
sure if l can help you.
But-- But l'd like to try, so....
So you gonna tell me or what?
-Nothing to tell.
-Cool.
-Let me-- Let me ask you something.
-Yeah?
You know, all that stuff
we talked about yesterday...
...did that fundamentally alter
your opinion of me in any way?
Yeah, right.
Like l couldn't tell from a mile away
that you were way sluttier than me.
What?
Jack, give me some credit.
l mean, look at you.
You're ridiculously good-looking.
-l mean, you're no Viggo--
-Yeah, okay, that-- That's great.
Let's go.
-What, we're leaving?
-Well, yeah.
l'm not gonna have
this conversation with you here.
l'm sorry, but l think--
-Hey, hey, David.
-Yeah?
Shut up.
Yeah, l think l could do that.
One of Barthelme's central tenets
was his belief...
...that only by juxtaposing disjointed,
quite often absurd fragments of time...
...could one truly replicate
the emotional tenor of real life.
Can someone give me an example?
Joey?
Okay, pick a story, any story.
Wait, l'll pick one for you.
The School.
How about that? Ring any bells?
-Yes.
-What's it about?
A teacher trying to
explain something to his students.
-What's he trying to explain?
-Death and loss.
Why is he trying to explain it?
Because it keeps happening to them,
like this endless cycle.
l mean, first the orange trees, then
the herb garden, then the tropical fish.
You know, it's absurd,
really, because...
...one minute, they're there,
the next minute...
...they're gone.
And the thing that's true,
the part of it that's true, that's real...
...is that no one ever does
explain it to them, because...
-...no one can.
-That's great, Joey.
You forgot all about
the snakes and puppies, but--
Look, we're out of time for today.
Monday, everyone, Saul Bellow.
Got a second, Potter?
-What's this?
-This is 50 bucks.
l know you're poor, but don't tell me
you've never seen 50 bucks before.
-l don't get it.
-For taking care of Harley yesterday.
She said that you
helped her out with something...
...said she was
having some kind of a crisis.
-She was having the crisis?
-Yes.
Look, just take the money.
lt'd be a lot easier for me than trying
to be nice to you for the semester.
Wait a second.
Why would you be nice to me? Why?
Because...
...as you pointed out the other day,
this really isn't about me.
Her mother's gone, and her father....
ls a gigantic scuzzbucket?
Yes, he is, actually.
Most days, anyway,
according to her.
You, on the other hand,
she seems to like.
Yeah, well, l'm very likable.
But likable and poor.
Fifty dollars, three times a week.
Sixty-five, and l'll help with homework,
if she'd want help from a D student.
Deal.
Here.
-What's that?
-Fifty bucks. No charge for yesterday.
-Look, don't do me any favours, Potter.
-l'm not.
-You wouldn't understand, okay?
-What is it, a girl thing or something?
No, it's a human-being thing.
So you found me, then, did you?
Called the surf report. There were only
so many beaches you could be at.
l can see l'm gonna have to get
one of those Men in Black dealies...
...deprogram you,
now that our long association is over.
lt's too dangerous, isn't it?
Having that much information
floating around...
...just waiting
to be used against you?
l came by to apologize.
For what? For stealing me job?
After you told them no yesterday,
like the idiot you are, they called me.
They even apologized,
as much as they're capable of.
What's next? We do reshoots here?
We go back to Boston? What?
l'm sorry, mate.
You misunderstood me.
We're not doing anything.
You are.
l went through this before.
-l'm not gonna--
-Not gonna what?
Not gonna benefit from being
at the right place at the right time?
That's all it is, you know.
Doesn't mean
you're actually going places...
...or that you're more
talented than me.
God, no. You're, like...
...barely functional, but you're...
...like, my mentor.
-What, not Steven bloody Spielberg?
-Well, he...
...hasn't been
returning my phone calls.
Just don't make it any worse, okay?
And listen, the absolute first thing
you have to do when you're on set...
...is take a picture of
Natasha's face...
...at the exact moment that
she's introduced to her new director...
...because that's something
l bloody well have to see.
Coming?