Dawson's Creek (1998–2003): Season 4, Episode 12 - The Te of Pacey - full transcript
Joey decides to help throw a surprise 18th birthday party for Pacey at his parents house, not knowing about Pacey's 'birthday curse'. The party goes haywire from the start as Joey finally sees why Pacey hates his dysfunctional and annoying family so much; his domineering, drunkard father; his overbearing, delusional mother; and his divorced sister Kerry and her three children, make everyone feel uncomfortable, and Doug later joins in and gets them to embarrass Pacey with stories from his past. Meanwhile, Dawson becomes upset when he feels that Gretchen doesn't want anyone to know about their growing romantic relationship and postpones their first real date to go to the party. Also, Jen is paired with Tobey for a community service project that evening of being the town's designated driver for drunken college kids.
No. Go away, Jo.
You better make a wish
before l set this couch on fire.
My wish would be for no further
acknowledgement...
...of today's hollow
symbolic meaning...
...as a milestone in the life
of Pacey Witter.
Okay.
Except now that you've told me
your wish, it can't possibly come true.
Look, l understand
your naive enthusiasm, okay?
What's the harm in celebrating
a birthday, right? Everybody does it.
What you don't know is that
every birthday l've had...
...since l was 1 0 years old
has been a complete disaster.
l'm talking gut-wrenching,
soul-searching...
...question-the-universe agony.
Well, at least you' re not being
dramatic about it.
For example, my 1 2th birthday party.
My first boy-girl party.
l ate so much pizza and ice cream,
l puked on Justine Sherman...
...a girl who l had a massive crush on.
Do you remember this?
She then called me Pacey Pukey
for the rest of the year...
...a little nickname my family
picked up on...
...and now resurfaces itself
every year around this time...
...to hearty laughs all the way around.
Of course, it's probably
not as bad as 1 6...
...the year that l threw myself
a party...
...and nobody decided to show up.
That was good.
Oh, yeah. l also failed my driver's test
the same day.
But neither of those will ever,
ever be 1 4...
...the day l was mauled by a dog.
So if you don't mind, this year,
l think l' ll just skip it.
No.
Well...
...there may be one way
that we could avert disaster.
lf you and l were to spend
a quiet evening alone here.
l promise, just you and me.
So you' re grinning with anticipation for
a certain date with Gretchen tonight?
l don't know whether
it's anticipation or terror.
What's to be terrified about?
You guys kissed.
And she agreed to go out--
Oh, no, no. l get it. l get it.
-What do you get?
-Well, not-- Just--
Pacey and Joey.
-Small matter of '' Do they know yet?''
-No. That's not it.
l'm terrified because it's our first
official date. l haven't seen her...
...since the kiss, and there's
a massive build-up. Pacey and Joey...
...if they ask me, l' ll tell them.
And Gretchen will too. l mean...
-...it's really not a big deal.
-No.
Sounds like a great plan.
Let me know how that goes, okay?
So Jo, have you got any big plans for
Pacey's big you-know-what day?
Pacey made me promise
no big event-y stuff...
...so probably just a quiet night alone,
me and him.
l can't believe he thinks there's
a birthday curse on him.
-l know. Pretty ridiculous, right? But...
-Junk.
...what are you gonna do, though?
What?
Oh, nothing. l'm cool.
l'm just gonna put some shoes on.
-What are you doing tonight?
-What do you mean?
l'm throwing a surprise party
for Pacey, and l want you there.
Oh, Jo, bad idea.
My parents are insane,
and Pacey will kill you.
l know, but see,
it was your mom's bad idea.
She called me, and she was
so excited and so sweet.
-And what was l supposed to say?
-You could say no.
Yeah, but l said yes.
Well, this should be interesting.
Please come. l need as many
friendly faces as l can get there.
You don't have any plans, do you?
Plans? Tonight? Me?
No. God, no. No.
l'm pathetic.
l don't have much of a life.
Nope. No plans.
Nothing going on with me.
So you can come?
Yeah. Of course l' ll come.
-You know, it' ll be fun.
-Good.
-Pacey is gonna kill me, isn't he?
-Oh, yeah. You' re dead.
l love this song.
What are you so happy about?
l'm happy because you agreed to do
these fun Saturday-afternoon crafts.
You know, when l was a child,
my grandmother taught me...
...how to do the art of decoupage.
Well, l don't think l'm so good at it.
Oh, that looks fine.
So, what are your big plans
for this evening?
Unfortunately, l've got, like,
five more hours of community service.
Which means that my Saturday night
will be spent...
...chauffeuring a bunch of drunk kids
home from illicit teenage parties.
lt's for this organization called
Responsible Rides.
Well, that sounds like fun.
l don't know. l mean, all these
lame hours of community service...
...and l don't feel l've served
the community or learned a thing.
l mean, it's just
a big, fat waste of time.
-Okay, what is with you?
-With me?
Yeah. Come on, you' re all flighty
and spacey and....
My God, you are thinking about sex,
aren't you?
-Jennifer.
-lt's nothing to be ashamed of, Grams.
When two people fall in love,
it is perfectly natural...
...to daydream about sex.
l will admit, l enjoy
Mr. Brooks' company.
But l most certainly am not in love.
And for the record,
we are not having sex.
Be that as it may, l have to ask...
-...have you had the talk?
-What talk?
The safe-sex talk.
Grams, it's a prerequisite these days.
You gotta find out
what this guy's into.
l mean, it could be kinky.
Could be S & M, toys--
No-- Stop. Now,
l know what you' re trying to do.
You' re trying to freak me out...
...because you hate decoupage...
...or because you hope
to be grounded...
...so you can get out of
community service tonight.
-Did you just say ''freak me out''?
-lt's not going to work.
Because when it comes
to safe sexuality...
...l've got my bases covered.
And when it comes to decoupage...
...the more you practice,
the better you get.
And when it comes to
community service tonight...
-...you' re going.
-You are very sneaky, you know that?
You just turned around
that entire conversation...
...without ever having to admit
that you were daydreaming about sex.
-l'm impressed.
-l've learned from the best.
Well, that's true.
-Hey.
-Hey.
-Hello there, handsome.
-Hi.
l came by to see where you would like
to be taken on our date this evening.
-Right, the date.
-Yes, the date.
-Don't sound too excited.
-Oh, no, of course l'm excited.
l just-- There's been
a slight change of plans.
You see, my parents decided to throw
Pacey a surprise birthday party.
Joey was gonna tell you about it,
but l told her l would, because....
Because we' re going. Okay.
-Not much of a first date, but--
-You know, l was thinking, actually...
...maybe we could postpone
the whole first-date thing.
Why would we want to do that?
Well, look, you know, Joey and Pacey
don't know about us yet. You know?
l'm not sure his birthday party...
...is the best place
to come out of that closet.
But it's not like it's a secret.
-Yeah, but nobody knows.
-Jack knows.
-Nobody else knows.
-What, that means we should hide it?
Well, no. l mean,
not so much hide it...
...just not tell anyone yet.
Okay. But in my experience,
sneaking around...
...is the best way to get caught
doing anything.
We wouldn't be sneaking around.
We' re just postponing things.
ls this about Pacey and Joey...
...or your family and being ashamed
to date me?
l'm not ashamed.
Dawson, come on...
...you know my family.
l mean, they' re insane.
Plus, this has to do
with Joey and Pacey.
l think we need to be
sensitive to them.
Sensitive to them by lying to them?
Gretchen, l've never known you to be
anything other than straightforward.
What's going on?
Look, l'm just not ready
to go public with this.
l mean, you can come
to the party, l just--
lf this is something you feel
you need to hide...
...it's something we shouldn't
be doing in the first place.
l' ll see you tonight.
Once you are on the road...
...we' ll keep in touch
via walkie-talkie, okay?
Do you have any questions?
No. l think l'm all set.
Ready to round up some drunks.
lf you' ll excuse me,
l have some paperwork to do.
You' re gonna be riding
with this young man here.
-Tobey.
-Hey, look what the cat dragged in.
-What are you doing here?
-The best place to pick up boys.
-The drunker the better.
-l hear you.
Really, what are you in for?
Sadly, l am actually volunteering here
of my own free will.
What can l say?
l'm a Good Samaritan.
Well, good for me.
Maybe you can serve to brighten...
...these last few lame hours
of indentured servitude.
l live to give.
Actually, you know what?
There's this birthday party that,
if we' re in the neighbourhood...
...making our rounds,
we can stop by, and....
Jack is going to be there,
and l know he'd love to see you.
You think? We didn't hit it off
the first time.
-Excuse me.
-Maybe this time will be different.
Jen, not all homosexuals have to be
friends with each other.
l know that.
Plus, l'm still not entirely convinced
Jack's gay.
Maybe he's just pretending
for the social cachet, you know?
-The chance to be a rebel outsider.
-Wait, listen. Okay.
l know that you guys had
your differences...
...but Jack is a great guy.
He's fun and funny
and built like a Greek god.
But more importantly, he's lonely.
Please, tell me you' re not trying
to set us up.
-l'm trying to set you up as friends.
-Good.
Because l'm taken.
And Greg is extremely jealous.
Where are you taking me?
And why would you be blindfolded
if l was going to tell you?
l thought that we had agreed
not to celebrate.
Well, l changed my mind.
Well, do l at least get to guess?
You can have one guess.
Perhaps a remote dock.
You brought some candles
and some champagne...
...and birthday cake that you are
going to feed to me by hand...
...while serenading me,
off-key, of course...
...and dressed only in
Victoria's Secret lingerie.
After which, you will lay me down
under the stars and ravish me.
Close, Pace. Very close.
Oh, you' re here. Surprise.
-Oh, shoot. We missed it.
-Surprise!
-Surprise!
-Happy birthday, Pace.
Surprise.
Hey, gang.
Hey, there's my birthday-cursed
little brother.
Oh, l can't wait to see what disasters
befall you on this joyous occasion.
Well, let the games begin.
Mom? Hungry!
You just need to wait a minute.
Dinner's not ready yet!
Doug, can l get some help
with the card table, please?
-Need help?
-Okay.
Guys, let's take this out
of the hallway.
All right.
Get your stick on the ice!
Starting with the power play now.
-Move in there, Cross.
-Did you see that?
-Yeah.
-Thanks, darling.
lt's funny.
-Very festive, no?
-Been there since Christmas '86.
That's cute. l didn't know
you had a dog.
'' Had'' being the operative word.
-What happened to it?
-We don't speak of that.
-Join me in the kitchen?
-Sure.
No wonder your husband left, Kerry.
You' re becoming a cow.
On my 1 8th birthday, l was trudging
through a jungle in Da Nang.
Machine gun on my shoulder,
50 pounds of ammo on my back.
Saw a lot of tragedy that day.
But l celebrated that night
with a gorgeous 30-year-old...
...Vietnamese beauty.
Several times, l might add.
Now, that--
That was an 1 8th birthday.
l thought you had to be 1 8
to join the Army, Pop.
-You calling me a liar, son?
-Oh, now, John...
...just because Pacey's not out there
defending his country...
...doesn't mean
he's not a man today.
And l know if there were a war on,
assuming they'd take him...
...he'd enlist tomorrow.
Wouldn't you, honey?
-Sure thing, Ma.
-Off sides, ref!
Pacey, why doesn't Joanna
set the table?
-Her name's Joey, Ma.
-That's what l said.
-Of course you did.
-Get your stick on the ice!
-You pass like a poofter.
-You kids better not...
...get dirty before dinner. Grandpa
and l will give you another spanking!
Just kill me now.
Now, who the hell are you?
Me?
l'm Jack, sir.
We met a while back
on a fishing trip.
Don't remember.
What kind of goaltending is that? My
mother could have stopped that shot!
More napkins in here if you need
them, Josey. Help yourself.
Do you mind if l ask you
just what the hell you were thinking?
What do you mean?
You promised me.
You and me, alone, tonight.
You looked me in the eye
and promised.
Your family, out of kindness,
wanted to throw a party for you...
...for your 1 8th birthday.
What was l supposed to say?
My family could give a crap about me
or my birthday.
lt's an excuse for my father
to get drunker than usual...
...eat cake, say l'm
a disappointment...
...and pass out watching
When Animals Attack!
Okay, so they' re not perfect, granted.
But they' re your family, Pace.
Don't you get what that means?
The least you can do is make
a little bit of an effort.
lt doesn't matter what kind of effort
l make. l'm still gonna fail.
Fail? Fail at what?
-Pace, what are you talking about?
-Nothing.
Look at me.
l promise you that we will get through
this night together, unscathed.
And everything's
gonna be okay. l swear.
Okay?
Oh, l wish that were true.
Hey, did anyone ever tell you,
you are the master...
-...at giving the cold shoulder?
-l'm not giving you...
-...the cold shoulder. l'm just mingling.
-With everybody but me.
Am l the only one who remembers
our earlier conversation?
l'm just trying to forget it.
See, l'm hoping that we can come
to some mutually agreeable solution...
...for our little problem.
Plus, l wanna kick your ass
in Monopoly.
-Wanna play Monopoly?
-You guys ready to play?
Come on, Dawson!
You wanna play Monopoly, Dawson?
-Well?
-Okay. l' ll do it for the children.
So, what gives?
l'm waiting to hear
about this mystery boyfriend.
Greg?
Well, not much to tell, really.
l mean, God knows why,
but he is head over heels for me.
And he's perfect.
Jack's polar opposite, actually.
-Gorgeous.
-Wait a minute.
You don't think
that Jack is gorgeous?
Well, in a fratty sort of way, l guess.
But Greg, he's....
He's James Dean, you know?
l mean, brooding, tortured, deep.
Jack is brooding and tortured
and deep.
l' ll take your word for it.
But Greg, he's perfect.
l mean, he's blond and beautiful,
and.... He's been out...
...since, like, the age of 1 2.
And his mother is a famous lesbian
who teaches...
...feminist poetry at Harvard.
And he's totally smart. And completely
comfortable in who he is.
He's just a-- He's a man, you know?
When are we gonna eat? l could eat
the south side of a horse going north.
You know, it's not that bad.
l mean, we've been here
for 45 minutes without a major crisis.
And only two hours to go.
At the most, three.
So legally, you' re not allowed
to still be mad at me...
...for throwing this thing.
-l'm not mad at you.
-You' re not?
So, what's wrong? Why...?
Why are you so upset?
Well, l'm upset...
...because....
Because l didn't--
-There's just a--
-You didn't what?
Could we not talk about this
right here?
Do you mind if we just take
a little walk?
Sneaking off to smoke
some marijuana?
What?
Come sit on the couch.
l wanna talk to Joey.
Come on.
l just want to thank you for putting
thoughts of college in my son's head.
Mr. Witter, while l'm happy
Pacey wants to go to college...
...l don't think that l can take
all the credit for that.
Well, l gotta blame someone...
...because Pacey's big dreams means
l'm gonna have to finance...
...another dropout's
half-assed education.
-Gretchen didn't drop out of school.
-Oh, really?
l didn't realize working as a barmaid
in a fish restaurant...
...qualified as a university education.
Then again, l'm just an uncouth,
uneducated police officer...
...putting his life on the line every day
for the people of this town.
-What do l know?
-l really don't think...
...Pacey will be dropping out.
l think he's gonna do great in college.
-Just you wait.
-l appreciate the youthful optimism.
My prediction: lf he doesn't drop out,
he' ll flunk out.
lt's a waste of his time
and my money.
Oh, honey, just because Pacey
flunked a class or two in high school...
...doesn't mean he's gonna do the
same thing in college. Right, sweetie?
But l have faith in you.
And l know that one day
my faith will pay off.
So no matter how many times
you let us down, sweetie...
...my faith will be there
to pick you right back up.
-Your faith and my bank account.
-Oh, John.
l'm just saying,
Pacey should set his sights...
...on something he can accomplish.
Like refrigeration and heating repair.
We always knew Gretchen was
college material.
-Oh, yeah.
-But Pacey, you remember as a kid...
...he wanted to be a veterinarian?
You said--
l always said, '' Dog groomer, honey.
What about dog groomer?''
Exactly. Someone has to be
the dog groomer.
So, what exactly is the surprise
you've got us waiting to see?
Yeah. We wanna play Monopoly.
Oh, patience, little ones. l have
something better than Monopoly.
Watch this.
-lt's cool, huh?
-Yeah.
-lt's beautiful.
-My grandmother...
...your great-grandmother, gave me
this gift when l was a little girl.
And we would sit down here for hours
staring up at the stars.
And she would tell us a story.
lt was about a princess
named lsabella.
You see, lsabella was a star dancer.
And she was meant for a life
dancing amongst the stars.
And she was blessed, because she
could fly from star to star.
But she was cursed too.
Because for every star she'd visit,
there'd be another one she left behind.
And that was her plight.
Forced to live eternity dancing
amongst the stars...
...free as a bird...
...but alone.
-lt's tragic, huh?
-Not really.
Think of all the stars
she got to visit...
...and how she knew the lives
of the people she met there.
But Dawson, she leaves.
lf lsabella visits,
l don't want her to leave.
-Oh, you don't, huh?
-Me either.
Me either.
-Kids, come wash up for dinner!
-Oh, do we have to?
We were just getting to the good part
of the story.
-What's wrong with you, ref?
-Doug, didn't l ask you...
...to set up the card table, honey?
Don't believe them, Pace.
You are gonna go to college
and do amazing, you know that?
And there's nothing
that they can say about it.
You' re gonna shock them all.
l know you are.
Well, what if l don't?
What if they are 1 00-percent correct?
And l am simply too stupid to do
anything worthwhile with my life?
What are you talking about?
Pace, what's going on?
This can't just be about your birthday.
No, it's not just about my birthday.
Let's take this to the basement, huh?
Wrong room.
Dinner, everyone! Come on!
Come on, let's eat.
-Yeah, l'm starved.
-Okay, everybody.
ln honour of Pacey's birthday,
l have made his favourite.
-Chipped beef on toast.
-Nope. That's Dougie's favourite.
-Mine's spaghetti and meatballs.
-When you were a little kid...
...you always begged me to make
chipped beef on toast.
That's right. l forgot.
l always pretended to hate
chipped beef on toast...
...in a vain attempt to mask
my true feelings of love.
l love chipped beef on toast.
We've established that, Doug.
Thanks for the input.
-Oh, nuts. You know what l forgot?
-Spaghetti and meatballs.
Ketchup. Joanna, will you go grab
the ketchup? lt's in the fridge.
Sure.
-Can l have some?
-Dig in, everybody.
-Yeah.
-Here, honey.
No, it isn't.
Joey, hey.
Look, l'm really sorry that you
had to find out about it like that.
-l don't want you to be upset--
-So are you guys dating now?
Well, we-- This was gonna be
our first date, but plans changed.
-But you are a couple?
-We haven't defined the relationship.
But it is a relationship.
-l don't know. Listen--
-Oh, found it.
Excuse me.
What the hell do we do now?
l don't know. l think
we can move beyond...
...the ''should we tell them'' question.
She thinks we' re a couple now.
Did you tell her we were a couple?
-l told her we had a date.
-You told her we were dating.
l told her we hadn't defined
the relationship yet.
What'd she say?
She said, ''But it is a relationship.''
-ls it a relationship?
-l know what l think.
l want to know what you think.
l don't know what l think.
Well, l think this was never
about Pacey or Joey or your family...
...or coming out of any closet.
l think this is about you.
And l think you need to figure out
what you want.
-Okay, let's talk about it.
-No, let's not.
Today is not the day, Gretchen.
Any other day that l was to find you
making out on the basement floor...
...with Dawson, of all people,
l would freak out.
Then we would have words.
But not today.
Today, l don't wanna talk about it,
l don't wanna think about it.
l'd like to pretend
it never even happened.
Frankly, l got bigger problems
on my mind.
Which are?
A conversation that l am
supposed to have with Joey...
...that will impact the rest
of our relationship.
Not to mention explain why l've been
in such a state of despair.
Pacey, what are you talking about?
You know what my advice to you
would be? Stick to your own dramas.
Because they are
much more entertaining.
Pacey.
And then l realized
that she doesn't love me.
She loves him.
That's why she was having sex
with him in the bathroom.
There's gonna be beer bongs, keg
stands, body shots. You gotta come.
l think maybe we should get
your friend home.
No, she's fine.
-l think l'm gonna hurl.
-Oh, no.
-Open the next one. Hurry!
-Look at the paper on that one.
lt's an ashtray.
Yeah.
Thank you. l've been
meaning to take up smoking.
That one's from me.
-Wow, look at the wrapping paper.
-That's huge.
Fireworks.
-Cool.
-How about tonight? Yeah.
lt's just what l've always wanted.
Thanks, Pop.
You know, l recently read an article
in Ladies' Home Journal...
...that said a fun way to bond
with your kids on their birthday...
...was to recall a favourite memory
from their childhood.
-Oh, joy.
-l guess l' ll go first.
And my memory would have to be
when Pacey was a baby.
lt was such a relief to finally have
a late bloomer.
Never bothered anybody.
Used to fall asleep
in cardboard boxes.
That's right!
Who remembers the time we almost
left Pace at 31 Flavours?
-l remember that.
-Remember?
We were driving away.
A lady flagged us down...
...with Pacey just wailing in her arms.
l swear, we would have driven home
before we realized he was gone.
He was so upset, he peed his pants.
Your uncle, he peed his pants.
-Thanks for that one, Doug.
-You like that, huh?
You know my favourite
Pacey memory?
When l was in fifth grade, there was
this bully named Max Brody.
He was the meanest kid
you'd ever wanna meet.
And one day, he pushed me
off the swing set. Hard.
l split my lip open.
And Pacey, who was in second grade
at the time...
...was sitting over in the sandbox.
And when he saw Max push me,
l've never seen anybody run so fast.
And he just started punching
and kicking him...
...screaming, ''Stay away
from my sister!''
But that's Pacey.
The bravest guy l know.
Brave and foolish.
As l recall,
Pacey came home crying...
...because that bully beat the pulp
out of him.
-l remember that.
-What about the time...
...Pacey got up at 5:30 in the morning
and decided to make pancakes...
-...for the whole entire family.
-Come on.
But he set the kitchen on fire,
and Scraps died of smoke inhalation.
-All right, l have a Pacey story.
-Oh, enough!
Enough.
As much as l love being publicly
eviscerated on my own birthday...
...l think we can guess what the theme
of this happy anecdote is gonna be:
Pacey messes up yet again.
Am l right?
Pacey kills the dog
or pees his pants...
...or pukes or gets the pulp beaten
out of him.
But you know what else
the theme might be?
The theme of every birthday
l've ever had?
Or the theme of my entire life,
for that matter.
No one gives Pacey a break.
Everybody expects the absolute worst.
Pacey gets the short end of the stick.
Pacey gets fireworks
and an ashtray...
...and chipped beef on toast
for his birthday...
...and harassed because,
how dare he wanna go to college...
...so he can possibly get out
of this place?! But you know what?
Your wallet can breathe easy.
l don't think l could go to college.
Because l found out today that the
only school l thought would take me...
...my fallback school, rejected me.
So l'm not going to college.
So l guess at the end of the day,
you guys are right.
l'm gonna end up
where you thought l would.
A complete and utter failure.
Pace?
-What are you doing?
-l'm going with you.
l think l can handle this
on my own.
You don't have a car. Pacey took
yours. Come on. Let me take you.
Fine.
Are you gonna finish that?
Are you done?
-Jen, cake. You look hungry.
-Oh, thank you.
-You've had some, right?
-Yeah, thanks.
Excuse me.
Tobey.
What are you doing here?
Why, l'm here to make you
uncomfortable, of course.
l'm not uncomfortable.
-So how's the club going?
-You mean the gay club?
Where the gay kids hang out
and be gay?
lt's doing smashing.
And what about that club of yours?
What's it called? ''Self-hatred
and denial.'' How's that going, Jack?
Yeah. Excuse me.
For the record, l can honestly say
that l don't care right now...
...if you and Gretchen are a couple
or dating or in a relationship...
...or just periodically groping
each other.
You guys can run off
and elope for all l care.
-l have bigger things on my mind.
-Well, good...
...because l have no idea if we' re
dating or a couple or in a relationship.
Because she won't tell me.
And every time l get close
to finding out, she freaks.
Well, that's the Witters
for you, Dawson.
ln relationships, they tend to keep
their emotions close...
...and their weaknesses closer.
And it's not because they don't care.
lt's just....
lt's because they care
so much, and....
Well, the good news is, is that,
eventually, they always tell the truth.
However, it's often after you've...
...selfishly ignored all the signs
that they've been suffering.
Joey, it's not your fault
Pacey didn't get into college.
l know. But it's my fault that he thinks
that he disappointed me...
...because l said
that he'd definitely get in.
There's the Potters for you.
Believe in people more than they
believe in themselves. Character flaw.
We should probably just go back.
l don't think we' re
ever gonna find him out here.
Hey.
-Hey.
-Thought you might be needing this.
Thank you.
Here.
How the hell did you know
where l was?
Didn't.
Station got a call from a houseboat
about a creepy guy...
...lurking on the dock.
So, what are you doing
lurking on the dock?
l just want to be close to the water.
You know, l never told this to anyone.
And l will personally hunt you down
if you breathe it to a soul.
But l got rejected the first time
l applied to the police academy.
You did?
Yep.
Let me tell you, Pacey,
it was devastating.
l know l'm not college material, Pop.
But l just really, really wanted it.
Now, look, son, l know that l've been
hard on you about school.
lt's not because l don't think you' re
good enough to go or get in.
Pacey, l just don't know
if it's the right thing for you.
l don't know if it's ever been
right for you.
But ask me if l think that you' re
meant to do great things....
Now, by the way, l never did get to tell
my '' remembering Pacey'' story.
lt was about your 1 0th birthday.
l got you fireworks...
...and you said it was the best present
you ever got.
And we set them off out back,
down by the water, and you....
You were really happy, Pacey.
So l was too.
What would you think if l made this
Responsible Ride activity...
-...a regular thing?
-What?
This from the cynical Jen Lindley?
l guess nothing is truly
as it seems, huh?
Kind of like how you were
really mean to Jack...
...because your whole beau Greg
is just a fabrication.
-What?
-Tobey, it's fine.
Okay? l mean,
l know that you like Jack.
Why else would you have gone
out of your way...
...to be mean to him tonight?
Why would you have invented
this fictional character?
l mean, come on,
a James Dean clone?
With an award-winning poet lesbian
for a mom?
-l mean, it's too good to be true.
-Yeah, but it was good.
When you dream,
you dream big, huh?
Listen...
...my advice would be...
...if you are interested in Jack, and--
Well, the best way to get in his life...
...is to be his friend,
and that requires being nice.
Now, l know this may be
a new concept to you...
...but l think you might
find it effective.
-You are such a bitch.
-Right back at you.
Well, that's odd.
Where'd everybody go?
My guess would be
the Red Lobster...
...to wash away all memory
of Mom's chipped beef on toast.
Surprise!
You know, l've been thinking.
You' re right.
Tonight, it wasn't about my family
or Pacey and Joey.
lt was about me.
See, l know how l feel
about you, Dawson.
But l'm scared because,
what if l leave soon?
And as much as l wanna have
this thing....
Whatever it is with you...
-...l'm afraid l' ll hurt you when l go.
-But Gretchen, l'm leaving too.
At the end of the year.
That's not the point.
The point is right now.
And right now you' re here,
and so am l.
So let's make the most of this.
All right? And not be afraid.
Sometimes l don't know
if you' re wise or just naive.
But l think it's wise.
The real question is,
how did you get to be so fearless?
l want lsabella's story to have
a happy ending.
Me too.
Hey, Pace.
Hey.
l'm sorry l threw you
such a bad party.
Well, that's not your fault.
lt's the curse.
l know how you must be feeling.
You don't have to feel that way.
Because one....
One rejection isn't anything.
lt's definitely not
the end of the world.
lt's not really about the rejection.
That just makes it real.
You and l are just
on opposite paths, Jo.
On different roads.
And we are heading farther
and farther away from each other.
l don't think so.
l think both roads lead back
to the same place, right here.
You and me, Pace.
That's the one thing that won't
change. Not if we don't let it.
lt's getting harder and harder
all the time--
Well, then we' ll try harder.
-Hey, Pace?
-Yeah?
Happy 1 8th birthday.
Okay, everybody, up to the hill!
Let's light this big one!
There it goes. There it goes.
Look up there.
Happy birthday, Pace.
You better make a wish
before l set this couch on fire.
My wish would be for no further
acknowledgement...
...of today's hollow
symbolic meaning...
...as a milestone in the life
of Pacey Witter.
Okay.
Except now that you've told me
your wish, it can't possibly come true.
Look, l understand
your naive enthusiasm, okay?
What's the harm in celebrating
a birthday, right? Everybody does it.
What you don't know is that
every birthday l've had...
...since l was 1 0 years old
has been a complete disaster.
l'm talking gut-wrenching,
soul-searching...
...question-the-universe agony.
Well, at least you' re not being
dramatic about it.
For example, my 1 2th birthday party.
My first boy-girl party.
l ate so much pizza and ice cream,
l puked on Justine Sherman...
...a girl who l had a massive crush on.
Do you remember this?
She then called me Pacey Pukey
for the rest of the year...
...a little nickname my family
picked up on...
...and now resurfaces itself
every year around this time...
...to hearty laughs all the way around.
Of course, it's probably
not as bad as 1 6...
...the year that l threw myself
a party...
...and nobody decided to show up.
That was good.
Oh, yeah. l also failed my driver's test
the same day.
But neither of those will ever,
ever be 1 4...
...the day l was mauled by a dog.
So if you don't mind, this year,
l think l' ll just skip it.
No.
Well...
...there may be one way
that we could avert disaster.
lf you and l were to spend
a quiet evening alone here.
l promise, just you and me.
So you' re grinning with anticipation for
a certain date with Gretchen tonight?
l don't know whether
it's anticipation or terror.
What's to be terrified about?
You guys kissed.
And she agreed to go out--
Oh, no, no. l get it. l get it.
-What do you get?
-Well, not-- Just--
Pacey and Joey.
-Small matter of '' Do they know yet?''
-No. That's not it.
l'm terrified because it's our first
official date. l haven't seen her...
...since the kiss, and there's
a massive build-up. Pacey and Joey...
...if they ask me, l' ll tell them.
And Gretchen will too. l mean...
-...it's really not a big deal.
-No.
Sounds like a great plan.
Let me know how that goes, okay?
So Jo, have you got any big plans for
Pacey's big you-know-what day?
Pacey made me promise
no big event-y stuff...
...so probably just a quiet night alone,
me and him.
l can't believe he thinks there's
a birthday curse on him.
-l know. Pretty ridiculous, right? But...
-Junk.
...what are you gonna do, though?
What?
Oh, nothing. l'm cool.
l'm just gonna put some shoes on.
-What are you doing tonight?
-What do you mean?
l'm throwing a surprise party
for Pacey, and l want you there.
Oh, Jo, bad idea.
My parents are insane,
and Pacey will kill you.
l know, but see,
it was your mom's bad idea.
She called me, and she was
so excited and so sweet.
-And what was l supposed to say?
-You could say no.
Yeah, but l said yes.
Well, this should be interesting.
Please come. l need as many
friendly faces as l can get there.
You don't have any plans, do you?
Plans? Tonight? Me?
No. God, no. No.
l'm pathetic.
l don't have much of a life.
Nope. No plans.
Nothing going on with me.
So you can come?
Yeah. Of course l' ll come.
-You know, it' ll be fun.
-Good.
-Pacey is gonna kill me, isn't he?
-Oh, yeah. You' re dead.
l love this song.
What are you so happy about?
l'm happy because you agreed to do
these fun Saturday-afternoon crafts.
You know, when l was a child,
my grandmother taught me...
...how to do the art of decoupage.
Well, l don't think l'm so good at it.
Oh, that looks fine.
So, what are your big plans
for this evening?
Unfortunately, l've got, like,
five more hours of community service.
Which means that my Saturday night
will be spent...
...chauffeuring a bunch of drunk kids
home from illicit teenage parties.
lt's for this organization called
Responsible Rides.
Well, that sounds like fun.
l don't know. l mean, all these
lame hours of community service...
...and l don't feel l've served
the community or learned a thing.
l mean, it's just
a big, fat waste of time.
-Okay, what is with you?
-With me?
Yeah. Come on, you' re all flighty
and spacey and....
My God, you are thinking about sex,
aren't you?
-Jennifer.
-lt's nothing to be ashamed of, Grams.
When two people fall in love,
it is perfectly natural...
...to daydream about sex.
l will admit, l enjoy
Mr. Brooks' company.
But l most certainly am not in love.
And for the record,
we are not having sex.
Be that as it may, l have to ask...
-...have you had the talk?
-What talk?
The safe-sex talk.
Grams, it's a prerequisite these days.
You gotta find out
what this guy's into.
l mean, it could be kinky.
Could be S & M, toys--
No-- Stop. Now,
l know what you' re trying to do.
You' re trying to freak me out...
...because you hate decoupage...
...or because you hope
to be grounded...
...so you can get out of
community service tonight.
-Did you just say ''freak me out''?
-lt's not going to work.
Because when it comes
to safe sexuality...
...l've got my bases covered.
And when it comes to decoupage...
...the more you practice,
the better you get.
And when it comes to
community service tonight...
-...you' re going.
-You are very sneaky, you know that?
You just turned around
that entire conversation...
...without ever having to admit
that you were daydreaming about sex.
-l'm impressed.
-l've learned from the best.
Well, that's true.
-Hey.
-Hey.
-Hello there, handsome.
-Hi.
l came by to see where you would like
to be taken on our date this evening.
-Right, the date.
-Yes, the date.
-Don't sound too excited.
-Oh, no, of course l'm excited.
l just-- There's been
a slight change of plans.
You see, my parents decided to throw
Pacey a surprise birthday party.
Joey was gonna tell you about it,
but l told her l would, because....
Because we' re going. Okay.
-Not much of a first date, but--
-You know, l was thinking, actually...
...maybe we could postpone
the whole first-date thing.
Why would we want to do that?
Well, look, you know, Joey and Pacey
don't know about us yet. You know?
l'm not sure his birthday party...
...is the best place
to come out of that closet.
But it's not like it's a secret.
-Yeah, but nobody knows.
-Jack knows.
-Nobody else knows.
-What, that means we should hide it?
Well, no. l mean,
not so much hide it...
...just not tell anyone yet.
Okay. But in my experience,
sneaking around...
...is the best way to get caught
doing anything.
We wouldn't be sneaking around.
We' re just postponing things.
ls this about Pacey and Joey...
...or your family and being ashamed
to date me?
l'm not ashamed.
Dawson, come on...
...you know my family.
l mean, they' re insane.
Plus, this has to do
with Joey and Pacey.
l think we need to be
sensitive to them.
Sensitive to them by lying to them?
Gretchen, l've never known you to be
anything other than straightforward.
What's going on?
Look, l'm just not ready
to go public with this.
l mean, you can come
to the party, l just--
lf this is something you feel
you need to hide...
...it's something we shouldn't
be doing in the first place.
l' ll see you tonight.
Once you are on the road...
...we' ll keep in touch
via walkie-talkie, okay?
Do you have any questions?
No. l think l'm all set.
Ready to round up some drunks.
lf you' ll excuse me,
l have some paperwork to do.
You' re gonna be riding
with this young man here.
-Tobey.
-Hey, look what the cat dragged in.
-What are you doing here?
-The best place to pick up boys.
-The drunker the better.
-l hear you.
Really, what are you in for?
Sadly, l am actually volunteering here
of my own free will.
What can l say?
l'm a Good Samaritan.
Well, good for me.
Maybe you can serve to brighten...
...these last few lame hours
of indentured servitude.
l live to give.
Actually, you know what?
There's this birthday party that,
if we' re in the neighbourhood...
...making our rounds,
we can stop by, and....
Jack is going to be there,
and l know he'd love to see you.
You think? We didn't hit it off
the first time.
-Excuse me.
-Maybe this time will be different.
Jen, not all homosexuals have to be
friends with each other.
l know that.
Plus, l'm still not entirely convinced
Jack's gay.
Maybe he's just pretending
for the social cachet, you know?
-The chance to be a rebel outsider.
-Wait, listen. Okay.
l know that you guys had
your differences...
...but Jack is a great guy.
He's fun and funny
and built like a Greek god.
But more importantly, he's lonely.
Please, tell me you' re not trying
to set us up.
-l'm trying to set you up as friends.
-Good.
Because l'm taken.
And Greg is extremely jealous.
Where are you taking me?
And why would you be blindfolded
if l was going to tell you?
l thought that we had agreed
not to celebrate.
Well, l changed my mind.
Well, do l at least get to guess?
You can have one guess.
Perhaps a remote dock.
You brought some candles
and some champagne...
...and birthday cake that you are
going to feed to me by hand...
...while serenading me,
off-key, of course...
...and dressed only in
Victoria's Secret lingerie.
After which, you will lay me down
under the stars and ravish me.
Close, Pace. Very close.
Oh, you' re here. Surprise.
-Oh, shoot. We missed it.
-Surprise!
-Surprise!
-Happy birthday, Pace.
Surprise.
Hey, gang.
Hey, there's my birthday-cursed
little brother.
Oh, l can't wait to see what disasters
befall you on this joyous occasion.
Well, let the games begin.
Mom? Hungry!
You just need to wait a minute.
Dinner's not ready yet!
Doug, can l get some help
with the card table, please?
-Need help?
-Okay.
Guys, let's take this out
of the hallway.
All right.
Get your stick on the ice!
Starting with the power play now.
-Move in there, Cross.
-Did you see that?
-Yeah.
-Thanks, darling.
lt's funny.
-Very festive, no?
-Been there since Christmas '86.
That's cute. l didn't know
you had a dog.
'' Had'' being the operative word.
-What happened to it?
-We don't speak of that.
-Join me in the kitchen?
-Sure.
No wonder your husband left, Kerry.
You' re becoming a cow.
On my 1 8th birthday, l was trudging
through a jungle in Da Nang.
Machine gun on my shoulder,
50 pounds of ammo on my back.
Saw a lot of tragedy that day.
But l celebrated that night
with a gorgeous 30-year-old...
...Vietnamese beauty.
Several times, l might add.
Now, that--
That was an 1 8th birthday.
l thought you had to be 1 8
to join the Army, Pop.
-You calling me a liar, son?
-Oh, now, John...
...just because Pacey's not out there
defending his country...
...doesn't mean
he's not a man today.
And l know if there were a war on,
assuming they'd take him...
...he'd enlist tomorrow.
Wouldn't you, honey?
-Sure thing, Ma.
-Off sides, ref!
Pacey, why doesn't Joanna
set the table?
-Her name's Joey, Ma.
-That's what l said.
-Of course you did.
-Get your stick on the ice!
-You pass like a poofter.
-You kids better not...
...get dirty before dinner. Grandpa
and l will give you another spanking!
Just kill me now.
Now, who the hell are you?
Me?
l'm Jack, sir.
We met a while back
on a fishing trip.
Don't remember.
What kind of goaltending is that? My
mother could have stopped that shot!
More napkins in here if you need
them, Josey. Help yourself.
Do you mind if l ask you
just what the hell you were thinking?
What do you mean?
You promised me.
You and me, alone, tonight.
You looked me in the eye
and promised.
Your family, out of kindness,
wanted to throw a party for you...
...for your 1 8th birthday.
What was l supposed to say?
My family could give a crap about me
or my birthday.
lt's an excuse for my father
to get drunker than usual...
...eat cake, say l'm
a disappointment...
...and pass out watching
When Animals Attack!
Okay, so they' re not perfect, granted.
But they' re your family, Pace.
Don't you get what that means?
The least you can do is make
a little bit of an effort.
lt doesn't matter what kind of effort
l make. l'm still gonna fail.
Fail? Fail at what?
-Pace, what are you talking about?
-Nothing.
Look at me.
l promise you that we will get through
this night together, unscathed.
And everything's
gonna be okay. l swear.
Okay?
Oh, l wish that were true.
Hey, did anyone ever tell you,
you are the master...
-...at giving the cold shoulder?
-l'm not giving you...
-...the cold shoulder. l'm just mingling.
-With everybody but me.
Am l the only one who remembers
our earlier conversation?
l'm just trying to forget it.
See, l'm hoping that we can come
to some mutually agreeable solution...
...for our little problem.
Plus, l wanna kick your ass
in Monopoly.
-Wanna play Monopoly?
-You guys ready to play?
Come on, Dawson!
You wanna play Monopoly, Dawson?
-Well?
-Okay. l' ll do it for the children.
So, what gives?
l'm waiting to hear
about this mystery boyfriend.
Greg?
Well, not much to tell, really.
l mean, God knows why,
but he is head over heels for me.
And he's perfect.
Jack's polar opposite, actually.
-Gorgeous.
-Wait a minute.
You don't think
that Jack is gorgeous?
Well, in a fratty sort of way, l guess.
But Greg, he's....
He's James Dean, you know?
l mean, brooding, tortured, deep.
Jack is brooding and tortured
and deep.
l' ll take your word for it.
But Greg, he's perfect.
l mean, he's blond and beautiful,
and.... He's been out...
...since, like, the age of 1 2.
And his mother is a famous lesbian
who teaches...
...feminist poetry at Harvard.
And he's totally smart. And completely
comfortable in who he is.
He's just a-- He's a man, you know?
When are we gonna eat? l could eat
the south side of a horse going north.
You know, it's not that bad.
l mean, we've been here
for 45 minutes without a major crisis.
And only two hours to go.
At the most, three.
So legally, you' re not allowed
to still be mad at me...
...for throwing this thing.
-l'm not mad at you.
-You' re not?
So, what's wrong? Why...?
Why are you so upset?
Well, l'm upset...
...because....
Because l didn't--
-There's just a--
-You didn't what?
Could we not talk about this
right here?
Do you mind if we just take
a little walk?
Sneaking off to smoke
some marijuana?
What?
Come sit on the couch.
l wanna talk to Joey.
Come on.
l just want to thank you for putting
thoughts of college in my son's head.
Mr. Witter, while l'm happy
Pacey wants to go to college...
...l don't think that l can take
all the credit for that.
Well, l gotta blame someone...
...because Pacey's big dreams means
l'm gonna have to finance...
...another dropout's
half-assed education.
-Gretchen didn't drop out of school.
-Oh, really?
l didn't realize working as a barmaid
in a fish restaurant...
...qualified as a university education.
Then again, l'm just an uncouth,
uneducated police officer...
...putting his life on the line every day
for the people of this town.
-What do l know?
-l really don't think...
...Pacey will be dropping out.
l think he's gonna do great in college.
-Just you wait.
-l appreciate the youthful optimism.
My prediction: lf he doesn't drop out,
he' ll flunk out.
lt's a waste of his time
and my money.
Oh, honey, just because Pacey
flunked a class or two in high school...
...doesn't mean he's gonna do the
same thing in college. Right, sweetie?
But l have faith in you.
And l know that one day
my faith will pay off.
So no matter how many times
you let us down, sweetie...
...my faith will be there
to pick you right back up.
-Your faith and my bank account.
-Oh, John.
l'm just saying,
Pacey should set his sights...
...on something he can accomplish.
Like refrigeration and heating repair.
We always knew Gretchen was
college material.
-Oh, yeah.
-But Pacey, you remember as a kid...
...he wanted to be a veterinarian?
You said--
l always said, '' Dog groomer, honey.
What about dog groomer?''
Exactly. Someone has to be
the dog groomer.
So, what exactly is the surprise
you've got us waiting to see?
Yeah. We wanna play Monopoly.
Oh, patience, little ones. l have
something better than Monopoly.
Watch this.
-lt's cool, huh?
-Yeah.
-lt's beautiful.
-My grandmother...
...your great-grandmother, gave me
this gift when l was a little girl.
And we would sit down here for hours
staring up at the stars.
And she would tell us a story.
lt was about a princess
named lsabella.
You see, lsabella was a star dancer.
And she was meant for a life
dancing amongst the stars.
And she was blessed, because she
could fly from star to star.
But she was cursed too.
Because for every star she'd visit,
there'd be another one she left behind.
And that was her plight.
Forced to live eternity dancing
amongst the stars...
...free as a bird...
...but alone.
-lt's tragic, huh?
-Not really.
Think of all the stars
she got to visit...
...and how she knew the lives
of the people she met there.
But Dawson, she leaves.
lf lsabella visits,
l don't want her to leave.
-Oh, you don't, huh?
-Me either.
Me either.
-Kids, come wash up for dinner!
-Oh, do we have to?
We were just getting to the good part
of the story.
-What's wrong with you, ref?
-Doug, didn't l ask you...
...to set up the card table, honey?
Don't believe them, Pace.
You are gonna go to college
and do amazing, you know that?
And there's nothing
that they can say about it.
You' re gonna shock them all.
l know you are.
Well, what if l don't?
What if they are 1 00-percent correct?
And l am simply too stupid to do
anything worthwhile with my life?
What are you talking about?
Pace, what's going on?
This can't just be about your birthday.
No, it's not just about my birthday.
Let's take this to the basement, huh?
Wrong room.
Dinner, everyone! Come on!
Come on, let's eat.
-Yeah, l'm starved.
-Okay, everybody.
ln honour of Pacey's birthday,
l have made his favourite.
-Chipped beef on toast.
-Nope. That's Dougie's favourite.
-Mine's spaghetti and meatballs.
-When you were a little kid...
...you always begged me to make
chipped beef on toast.
That's right. l forgot.
l always pretended to hate
chipped beef on toast...
...in a vain attempt to mask
my true feelings of love.
l love chipped beef on toast.
We've established that, Doug.
Thanks for the input.
-Oh, nuts. You know what l forgot?
-Spaghetti and meatballs.
Ketchup. Joanna, will you go grab
the ketchup? lt's in the fridge.
Sure.
-Can l have some?
-Dig in, everybody.
-Yeah.
-Here, honey.
No, it isn't.
Joey, hey.
Look, l'm really sorry that you
had to find out about it like that.
-l don't want you to be upset--
-So are you guys dating now?
Well, we-- This was gonna be
our first date, but plans changed.
-But you are a couple?
-We haven't defined the relationship.
But it is a relationship.
-l don't know. Listen--
-Oh, found it.
Excuse me.
What the hell do we do now?
l don't know. l think
we can move beyond...
...the ''should we tell them'' question.
She thinks we' re a couple now.
Did you tell her we were a couple?
-l told her we had a date.
-You told her we were dating.
l told her we hadn't defined
the relationship yet.
What'd she say?
She said, ''But it is a relationship.''
-ls it a relationship?
-l know what l think.
l want to know what you think.
l don't know what l think.
Well, l think this was never
about Pacey or Joey or your family...
...or coming out of any closet.
l think this is about you.
And l think you need to figure out
what you want.
-Okay, let's talk about it.
-No, let's not.
Today is not the day, Gretchen.
Any other day that l was to find you
making out on the basement floor...
...with Dawson, of all people,
l would freak out.
Then we would have words.
But not today.
Today, l don't wanna talk about it,
l don't wanna think about it.
l'd like to pretend
it never even happened.
Frankly, l got bigger problems
on my mind.
Which are?
A conversation that l am
supposed to have with Joey...
...that will impact the rest
of our relationship.
Not to mention explain why l've been
in such a state of despair.
Pacey, what are you talking about?
You know what my advice to you
would be? Stick to your own dramas.
Because they are
much more entertaining.
Pacey.
And then l realized
that she doesn't love me.
She loves him.
That's why she was having sex
with him in the bathroom.
There's gonna be beer bongs, keg
stands, body shots. You gotta come.
l think maybe we should get
your friend home.
No, she's fine.
-l think l'm gonna hurl.
-Oh, no.
-Open the next one. Hurry!
-Look at the paper on that one.
lt's an ashtray.
Yeah.
Thank you. l've been
meaning to take up smoking.
That one's from me.
-Wow, look at the wrapping paper.
-That's huge.
Fireworks.
-Cool.
-How about tonight? Yeah.
lt's just what l've always wanted.
Thanks, Pop.
You know, l recently read an article
in Ladies' Home Journal...
...that said a fun way to bond
with your kids on their birthday...
...was to recall a favourite memory
from their childhood.
-Oh, joy.
-l guess l' ll go first.
And my memory would have to be
when Pacey was a baby.
lt was such a relief to finally have
a late bloomer.
Never bothered anybody.
Used to fall asleep
in cardboard boxes.
That's right!
Who remembers the time we almost
left Pace at 31 Flavours?
-l remember that.
-Remember?
We were driving away.
A lady flagged us down...
...with Pacey just wailing in her arms.
l swear, we would have driven home
before we realized he was gone.
He was so upset, he peed his pants.
Your uncle, he peed his pants.
-Thanks for that one, Doug.
-You like that, huh?
You know my favourite
Pacey memory?
When l was in fifth grade, there was
this bully named Max Brody.
He was the meanest kid
you'd ever wanna meet.
And one day, he pushed me
off the swing set. Hard.
l split my lip open.
And Pacey, who was in second grade
at the time...
...was sitting over in the sandbox.
And when he saw Max push me,
l've never seen anybody run so fast.
And he just started punching
and kicking him...
...screaming, ''Stay away
from my sister!''
But that's Pacey.
The bravest guy l know.
Brave and foolish.
As l recall,
Pacey came home crying...
...because that bully beat the pulp
out of him.
-l remember that.
-What about the time...
...Pacey got up at 5:30 in the morning
and decided to make pancakes...
-...for the whole entire family.
-Come on.
But he set the kitchen on fire,
and Scraps died of smoke inhalation.
-All right, l have a Pacey story.
-Oh, enough!
Enough.
As much as l love being publicly
eviscerated on my own birthday...
...l think we can guess what the theme
of this happy anecdote is gonna be:
Pacey messes up yet again.
Am l right?
Pacey kills the dog
or pees his pants...
...or pukes or gets the pulp beaten
out of him.
But you know what else
the theme might be?
The theme of every birthday
l've ever had?
Or the theme of my entire life,
for that matter.
No one gives Pacey a break.
Everybody expects the absolute worst.
Pacey gets the short end of the stick.
Pacey gets fireworks
and an ashtray...
...and chipped beef on toast
for his birthday...
...and harassed because,
how dare he wanna go to college...
...so he can possibly get out
of this place?! But you know what?
Your wallet can breathe easy.
l don't think l could go to college.
Because l found out today that the
only school l thought would take me...
...my fallback school, rejected me.
So l'm not going to college.
So l guess at the end of the day,
you guys are right.
l'm gonna end up
where you thought l would.
A complete and utter failure.
Pace?
-What are you doing?
-l'm going with you.
l think l can handle this
on my own.
You don't have a car. Pacey took
yours. Come on. Let me take you.
Fine.
Are you gonna finish that?
Are you done?
-Jen, cake. You look hungry.
-Oh, thank you.
-You've had some, right?
-Yeah, thanks.
Excuse me.
Tobey.
What are you doing here?
Why, l'm here to make you
uncomfortable, of course.
l'm not uncomfortable.
-So how's the club going?
-You mean the gay club?
Where the gay kids hang out
and be gay?
lt's doing smashing.
And what about that club of yours?
What's it called? ''Self-hatred
and denial.'' How's that going, Jack?
Yeah. Excuse me.
For the record, l can honestly say
that l don't care right now...
...if you and Gretchen are a couple
or dating or in a relationship...
...or just periodically groping
each other.
You guys can run off
and elope for all l care.
-l have bigger things on my mind.
-Well, good...
...because l have no idea if we' re
dating or a couple or in a relationship.
Because she won't tell me.
And every time l get close
to finding out, she freaks.
Well, that's the Witters
for you, Dawson.
ln relationships, they tend to keep
their emotions close...
...and their weaknesses closer.
And it's not because they don't care.
lt's just....
lt's because they care
so much, and....
Well, the good news is, is that,
eventually, they always tell the truth.
However, it's often after you've...
...selfishly ignored all the signs
that they've been suffering.
Joey, it's not your fault
Pacey didn't get into college.
l know. But it's my fault that he thinks
that he disappointed me...
...because l said
that he'd definitely get in.
There's the Potters for you.
Believe in people more than they
believe in themselves. Character flaw.
We should probably just go back.
l don't think we' re
ever gonna find him out here.
Hey.
-Hey.
-Thought you might be needing this.
Thank you.
Here.
How the hell did you know
where l was?
Didn't.
Station got a call from a houseboat
about a creepy guy...
...lurking on the dock.
So, what are you doing
lurking on the dock?
l just want to be close to the water.
You know, l never told this to anyone.
And l will personally hunt you down
if you breathe it to a soul.
But l got rejected the first time
l applied to the police academy.
You did?
Yep.
Let me tell you, Pacey,
it was devastating.
l know l'm not college material, Pop.
But l just really, really wanted it.
Now, look, son, l know that l've been
hard on you about school.
lt's not because l don't think you' re
good enough to go or get in.
Pacey, l just don't know
if it's the right thing for you.
l don't know if it's ever been
right for you.
But ask me if l think that you' re
meant to do great things....
Now, by the way, l never did get to tell
my '' remembering Pacey'' story.
lt was about your 1 0th birthday.
l got you fireworks...
...and you said it was the best present
you ever got.
And we set them off out back,
down by the water, and you....
You were really happy, Pacey.
So l was too.
What would you think if l made this
Responsible Ride activity...
-...a regular thing?
-What?
This from the cynical Jen Lindley?
l guess nothing is truly
as it seems, huh?
Kind of like how you were
really mean to Jack...
...because your whole beau Greg
is just a fabrication.
-What?
-Tobey, it's fine.
Okay? l mean,
l know that you like Jack.
Why else would you have gone
out of your way...
...to be mean to him tonight?
Why would you have invented
this fictional character?
l mean, come on,
a James Dean clone?
With an award-winning poet lesbian
for a mom?
-l mean, it's too good to be true.
-Yeah, but it was good.
When you dream,
you dream big, huh?
Listen...
...my advice would be...
...if you are interested in Jack, and--
Well, the best way to get in his life...
...is to be his friend,
and that requires being nice.
Now, l know this may be
a new concept to you...
...but l think you might
find it effective.
-You are such a bitch.
-Right back at you.
Well, that's odd.
Where'd everybody go?
My guess would be
the Red Lobster...
...to wash away all memory
of Mom's chipped beef on toast.
Surprise!
You know, l've been thinking.
You' re right.
Tonight, it wasn't about my family
or Pacey and Joey.
lt was about me.
See, l know how l feel
about you, Dawson.
But l'm scared because,
what if l leave soon?
And as much as l wanna have
this thing....
Whatever it is with you...
-...l'm afraid l' ll hurt you when l go.
-But Gretchen, l'm leaving too.
At the end of the year.
That's not the point.
The point is right now.
And right now you' re here,
and so am l.
So let's make the most of this.
All right? And not be afraid.
Sometimes l don't know
if you' re wise or just naive.
But l think it's wise.
The real question is,
how did you get to be so fearless?
l want lsabella's story to have
a happy ending.
Me too.
Hey, Pace.
Hey.
l'm sorry l threw you
such a bad party.
Well, that's not your fault.
lt's the curse.
l know how you must be feeling.
You don't have to feel that way.
Because one....
One rejection isn't anything.
lt's definitely not
the end of the world.
lt's not really about the rejection.
That just makes it real.
You and l are just
on opposite paths, Jo.
On different roads.
And we are heading farther
and farther away from each other.
l don't think so.
l think both roads lead back
to the same place, right here.
You and me, Pace.
That's the one thing that won't
change. Not if we don't let it.
lt's getting harder and harder
all the time--
Well, then we' ll try harder.
-Hey, Pace?
-Yeah?
Happy 1 8th birthday.
Okay, everybody, up to the hill!
Let's light this big one!
There it goes. There it goes.
Look up there.
Happy birthday, Pace.