Dawson's Creek (1998–2003): Season 2, Episode 19 - Rest in Peace - full transcript

Dawson.

Hey, a-are you sure
this is a good idea?

Jo, let's not
analyze this. Ok?

Right. Don't analyze.

We don't need
to discuss this.

Ok? Let's go upstairs.

Ok.

Jen.

What's wrong?

Abby and I
were on the d...

On the docks, and...

And we were up there,
and sh...

We were drinking,

and then she f...

She fell back,
and she hit...

Hit her head and...

And she...

She drowned.

Abby's dead.

♪ I don't wanna wait ♪

♪ for our lives to be over ♪

♪ I want to know right now ♪

♪ what will it be? ♪

♪ I don't wanna wait ♪

♪ for our lives to be over ♪

♪ will it be yes,
or will it be... ♪

♪ Sorry? ♪

♪ So open up
your morning light ♪

♪ and say a little prayer
for right ♪

♪ you know that if we are
to stay alive ♪

♪ and see the love
in every eye... ♪

That seems
like a lifetime ago.

Your mother
loved that dress.

I told her to take it back--
too expensive.

So she went out
and bought 2 of 'em
just to spite me.

That was
your mother.

Why are you
looking at this?

This girl at my school
died on Saturday night.

She drowned.

Joey, that's terrible.

Were you two close?

No, not particularly.

I mean, she was
kind of a nightmare.

But it's, um...

Sort of got me thinking,

remembering.

Joey, we, uh,
never really talked

about your mother
or her death.

Well, it's getting late,

and I have to go
to school, so...

I'll see you later.

My name is Elizabeth,
and I am a grief counselor.

I'm here today to facilitate
a discussion about Abigail.

Now, I know you've all
been dealt a heavy blow,

but by sharing your feelings
with each other,

it should aid in the long
and difficult process

that we call grieving.

I'd like to make
an announcement.

The girls service league
is distributing
yellow armbands

that we're
wearing in honor
of Abby's memory.

If anybody would
like an armband,

please meet me
in the cafeteria
at lunchtime.

Jennifer,

I was told that you were
a close friend of Abigail's.

Would you like to talk

about some of the feelings
that you're experiencing?

No.

Well, that's perfectly ok.

I understand.

Andie.

Did you know Abigail?

Yeah. I did.

Can you talk
about your feelings?

Well, um...

I guess
I'm feeling shocked.

I mean, she...

Was so
incredibly alive,

and she had
such a great spirit.

It's...

It's really
a tragedy.

Jennifer?

Thank you so much for
honoring Abby's memory.

Hey.

Uh, hey.

Dawson, I know we have
a lot to talk about

concerning
the other night.

Yeah, Joey, let's...

Can we just not
go there right now?

I mean, there's a lot of
stuff going on, and...

We can analyze this
to death later.

Right.

Ok.

Dawson...

The truth is
I never really liked Abby.

Ditto.

I actively despised her.

It's weird.

I mean, this--
Abby was weird.

That she died
is weird.

The way she died
is weird.

I mean, I...
I can't even imagine

what the funeral's
gonna be like.

I'm not going.

You're not?

Dawson, the last funeral
I went to was my mom's.

I mean, I haven't even
been to her gravesite.

I think going
to Abby's funeral

will just open
this pandora's box of emotions

that frankly I'd rather
keep sealed tight.

Joey, y-your mother
died 3 years ago.

You've had these
feelings you
haven't dealt with.

How long are you
planning on waiting?

I don't know.

I guess I'm just...

There's a part of me
that's still holding on--

you know, that little girl
inside that's just...

Waiting for her return,

like her death
was just this...

Cosmic error,

and eventually god will realize
that he made a terrible mistake,

and he'll send her back to me
like he did my dad,

and--and I'll have
my mom again.

I know it sounds ridiculous.

No, it doesn't.
It's...

No. It...

But I mean, it's...

That's a child's
false hope.

Eventually you're
gonna have to let it go.

Yeah, well, I don't
wanna let it go.

You don't know
what it's like, Dawson.

Uh, Jen...

I've been looking
all over for you.

You just stormed out of class.
Are you ok?

Like dealing
with Abby's death
isn't hard enough,

but to watch everybody
parade around

acting like--like Abby
was their best friend,

it's sickening.

Aside from me,

Abby didn't
have a single friend
in capeside.

Well, that's because
she was a--

a bitch.
Come on, Andie.
Say it.

"Abby was a bitch."

Well, I wouldn't
go that far.

Yeah, well,
you would have 3 days ago.

But now that she's dead,

you wax poetic
about "her great spirit."

It's so insincere.

Well, I don't think
it's appropriate

to malign her character
after she's gone.

It isn't maligning
if it's true.

Believe me, it would have
been easier for everybody

if Abby had just been
this wonderful person
with these virtuous qualities,

but she wasn't.

She was mean,

and the least that
we can do is acknowledge
who she really was.

Jen, I know this
must be hard for you.

And I am sick and tired

of everybody treating me
like I'm some kind
of celebrity

just because I happened to be
at the scene of the crime.

It's funny.
Abby spent her entire life
shattering our fragile egos,

and that's why people
disliked her so intensely.

Leave it to Abby.

Even in her death,
she's still exposing hypocrisy.

Well, I feel bad,

but I tried
to reach out to her,

and every time,
she rejected me.

She rejected you?

If you hadn't
rejected her at the wedding,

none of this
ever would have happened.

What?

You kicked us out
at the wedding, Andie.

That's why
we were at the docks
in the first place.

Don't say that.

I'm sorry, ok?

I can't--
I gotta go home.

Hey.

Oh, hi, honey.

So, how was school?

Weird.

Everybody's playing
the dutiful mourners,

but underneath,
there's this...

Odd sense
they're all munchkins

finally freed from
the spell of the wicked
witch of the east.

Um, honey, I know you're
dealing with a lot right now,

but I have some news
I have to share with you.

Sounds serious.

No, no, no.
It's--it's not bad news.
It's good news.

Dawson, do you remember
that piece I did
on the teenage girls?

Yeah.

Well, I won
the peale vision award

for excellence
in news broadcasting.

That's great, mom.

Congratulations.

Oh, but that's
not the news.

No, the news is,
because of the award,

I've been offered a job
as a network correspondent.

Ah, it's a lot of money.
It's high profile. It's...

It's in Philadelphia.

Oh.

Are you
gonna take it?

Well, professionally
it's a huge leap for me.

It's--it's what
I've always worked for.

I don't wanna move
to Philadelphia.

Oh, I completely
understand that.

You're halfway
through high school.

No, I do not want
to uproot you.

If I took this job,

I assume your father
would move back in, and...

I would come home
as often as I could.

So w-what about
you and dad?

Are you guys just
throwing in the towel?

It's the last thing I want,

but I'm hitting my head
up against the wall
here, honey.

Your father doesn't
seem to have any interest
in making things work.

So if I do walk away
from this career opportunity,

and I still lose my marriage,

what do I have?

You still have me.

Jennifer,
I'm worried about you.

Don't be.
I'm just tired.

You know, I can't say
I was particularly fond
of your friend Abby.

I always had
the distinct impression
that she was mocking me.

She was, wasn't she?

Don't take it
personally, grams.

Abby was mocking
everyone.

But she was your friend.

It's so hard to understand
why god would take
someone so young

with so much left to learn,
so much to give.

It really tests
one's faith.

Lucky me. I didn't have
any faith to begin with.

Just rest assured
god may work
in mysterious ways,

but he has a plan.

Well, if god
had a plan for Abby,

she certainly
wasn't following it.

God has a plan
for all of us,
including Abby,

including you.

Grams, I don't wanna have
a religious discussion
right now.

Now, it's times
like this when--

grams, please, ok?

All right.

But I'm here
for you

whenever
you need me.

I can't believe
that Jen would accuse you
of being responsible.

She was drunk.
She fell. She drowned.

End of story.

It's nobody's fault,
least of all yours.

Yeah, but...

I was so mean
to her.

Oh, come on,
you've gotta be kidding.
Thanks.

Abby Morgan was one
of the most hideous creatures

to ever haunt
the streets of capeside,

and you
bent over backwards
to befriend her.

You really shouldn't
be taking this
that hard, Andie.

Don't tell me
how I should be feeling.

I mean, if I'm upset,
then I'm upset.

If I feel guilty,
then I feel guilty.

I think those are
perfectly valid feelings.

You're right.
I'm sorry.

I just don't
like seeing you
like this, ok?

Oh, god, pacey.

Don't look now,

but Abby's mother
just walked in.

Don't I know you?

Uh, yes,
Mrs. Morgan.

I'm Andie McPhee.

You drove me home
once.

Oh, that's right.
You're a friend of Abby's.

She talked a lot
about you.

She did?

Oh.

Mrs. Morgan,
I'm so sorry
about what happened.

Thank you.

Will you be coming
to the funeral?

Yeah.

Of course.
Of course I will.

Uh, you know,
no one's offered to, uh,
to give a eulogy,

and I'm not really familiar
with any of her other
school friends.

You will be saying a few words
about her, won't you?

What?

Since she was
so fond of you.

Sure.

Sure.

Thank you.

Eulogy?

You don't have
to deliver this eulogy.

You just lay low
or tell Abby's mother
that you're too upset.

No! I have to find
a way to honor
Abby's memory,

both truthfully
and respectfully.

Her family
deserves that much.

I'll always remember
the nice things

the people said
at my brother's
funeral.

Uhh.

You ok?

Just occurred to me
that I've never
even seen her house.

It's so pretty.

Yeah, I know.

I was halfway expecting
this gothic castle, you know?

The gargoyles
leering down on you
from the spires.

Ok...

This is morbid.

Explain to me again
exactly what this
is gonna accomplish

besides just making you
even more freaked-out.

I just want
to see her room...

You know,
where she brushed her hair
and planned her future.

Why?

Look, we'll just give
our condolences and
slip into her room.

♪ Whatever makes you happy ♪

♪ is exactly
what you will hear ♪

♪ wouldn't dream
of change any ♪

♪ for a minute
or in a year ♪

♪ whatever makes you happy ♪

♪ is exactly
how you will stay ♪

♪ whatever
makes you happy... ♪

Hey, what if
Abby's mother saw us
come in here together?

She probably thinks
I'm tryin' to get lucky

in the middle
of her daughter's
memorial.

Shh!

Ohhh...this
is really strange.

It's almost like
the room's waiting
for her to come back.

This is really creepy,
Andie. Can we go, please?

Wait a minute.

This is her diary.

You know,
the real thoughts
of any girl

lie within the confines
of her personal diary.

You know what?
People's privacy

deserves to be respected,
even in death.

I'm not doing this
to satisfy my curiosity,
pacey.

I'm doing this for Abby.

I want to be able
to give her a eulogy

that does justice
to her character.

Hmm. Let's see...

"Dear diary...

"Another unbelievably
annoying day here
on walton's mountain.

"That slut Jen lindley
literally stole
my new boyfriend

"and right out
from under my nose.

She's a bleach-blond
hosebag."

She was probably
just having a bad day.

Sure.

Ok. Um...

"Dear diary...

"My mother
is driving me insane.

"I hate her so much.
I must be adopted.

"There's no way that I can
share the same genes with
that dried-up old wench."

J-Just another
bad day, right?

Yeah.

Ok.

"Dear diary...

"That new girl Andie
is such a...Psycho"?!

How many ways can you
tell a person you don't
like them?" What?!

"She just won't
take a hint. God, and that
boyfriend of hers is a--"

ok. You know what?
I don't want to know.
I don't want to hear it.

Let's go. Now. Please.

Dawson.

I was just thinking
about you.

Huh.

You know,
when I was young,

my first few experiences
with death

were shocking,

and, uh,

well, as I get older,
it doesn't get any easier,

but it does
kind of help you

put your life
into perspective.

Makes you realize
you have to grab on

to the people you love
and never let go.

And on that note,
um, ha,

mom was offered
a job

as a network
correspondent
in Philadelphia.

Do you have anything
to say?

Well, i-I'll call her,

and, uh, and
congratulate her.

That's it?

You're going to call up,
say congratulations,

and then just let her
walk out of your life.

Grab on to those
you love, huh?

So, uh, Joey?

Yeah?

You know, i-I've tried
biting my tongue,

but, um,

the $64,000 question
has to be asked.

What's up with you
and Dawson?

Nothing.

Yeah. Nothing.

You two shared
a pretty conspicuous
non-nothing kiss

the other night.
Come on.

Yeah. Well, we're
putting it on hold.

We have enough
to deal with
without adding

our complicated
relationship
to the mix, so...

All right.

All right,

I'll buy that.

So how you feeling
otherwise?

Um...

Ok.

I've obviously
had a lot on my mind
lately.

How are
you feeling about
this whole thing?

I--i know this sounds
a little morbid,

but I can't stop thinking
about the fact

that Abby and I
kissed

at Dawson's
birthday party,

which means
I am probably

the last person
that she ever
kissed.

At least she went out
with a bang.

No--i can't believe
I just said that.

I can't either.

You know what?
I am sorry
if I threaten you

and your safety net.

I mean,
and--and contrary
to popular belief,

I am not trying
to ruin your life,

and I am trying
so hard not to do
that.

Hey.

Hey, man. You
working late, huh?

Yeah.

Your mom told me
I could find you
here.

What's up?

I don't know,
really.

Uh...

Mrs. Morgan
asked Andie
to give a eulogy

extolling
Abby's virtues.

God. How do you
speak glowingly

about a girl
who rode to school
on a broomstick?

It's just
so frustrating,
Dawson.

I'm trying so hard

to set it
to straights
for Andie,

but I got no control
over things
like this.

Ha.

I know what you mean.

That's why I'm here.

It must be kind of
a surreal experience

editing a movie
in which one of your
leading ladies

is no longer.

Action.

Contrary to popular
belief,

I did not come here
to ruin your life,

and I am trying
so hard not
to do that.

I'm sorry.

She has food
in her teeth.

Cut.

Perfect timing.

Dinner's almost ready.

Jennifer, have you
been drinking again?

Not only have I
been drinking,

but I am drunk
out of my mind.

Oh, Jennifer,
don't do this
to yourself.

Don't mask your
grief with alcohol.

Try to feel
your pain.

This drinking
will only make
things worse.

Worse? Oh, come on.
Worse than what?

Think of the good times
you shared with Abby.

She'd want you
to remember her
that way.

Well, then you obviously
didn't know Abby too well,

because Abby is probably
down there

with beelzebub

doing Tequila shooters

and laughing
at all of us.

You have to believe
that Abby

is in god's hands.

He has a special place
in his kingdom

for the children.

Really?

God's got
a 5-bedroom
beach condo in Maui

for dead kids?

Jennifer--

for the last time, grams,
there is no god,

and there is no heaven
and there is no peace

and there is no hope.

The only truth
that I know is pain.

So you can just keep
your Sunday school fables
to yourself,

'cause they make me puke.

Does it give you
so much pleasure

to shock
and offend me?

I am trying to be
understanding,

but you insist
on disobeying
my rules

and polluting
my house

with your
disrespectful
blasphemy.

I guess you're finally
sick of me, huh?

I guess your infinite
Patience and compassion

aren't as infinite
as we thought.

You know, if I can't
just--just be myself

and just speak my mind,

maybe I should just
move out.

Jennifer!

What are you
thinking about?

I've been trying
to remember mom, and...

I can't get a clear
picture of her in my head.

It's the scariest
thing. It--

it's like she's...

Slowly fading away,
and...

Do you know
what I mean?

Joey, when I
was in prison,

I missed
your mother.

The loss combined
with the guilt

was almost too much
for me,

but I look at you,

and I know
she's still here.

You are so like
your mother, Joey.

She was tough,
and, um,

independent,

funny...

In the exact same
way as you're funny.

Stubborn. Oh...

She was stubborn.

Tell her the sky
was blue,

she would say
it was green.

So she's not gone.

She lives on
in you...

And that comforts me
to no end.

Ohh. It's only a few hours
till the funeral,

and I have no idea
what I'm going to say.

Make something up.

Tell them
that Abby was
a wonderful person

and she'll be
deeply missed

and blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah.

Lie? You want me to lie?

Well, you could
tell them the truth,

that she was
a hideous
abomination,

and the world
is better off
without her.

Right, and watch her mother
have a heart attack

and collapse
into the aisle.

Oh, god, pacey,
what am I going to do?

I'll give
the speech.

You'd do that
for me?

Andie,
I would do anything

to keep you from having
a nervous breakdown.

I'm not about to have
a nervous breakdown.

Well, I'm about to have
a nervous breakdown

just living vicariously
through you, so...

Seriously?

Well...

Look, pacey,

I know what it's like
to care deeply

about someone who has

the propensity to become
mentally unhinged,

and I don't want
to be that to you--

Andie, what am I
supposed to do,

just sit back
and watch you
agonize?

If you're
in distress,
how can I help

but to come
to your rescue?

Well, if I'm drowning
in the ocean,

yes, throw me a lifeline,

but don't let our roles

become permanently
etched in stone.

I mean, me,
the helpless lunatic,

and you, the hero
on horseback.

I need to take care
of myself.

I'm going to deliver
this speech.

I'll think of something.

Ok.

You know, it's not too late
to duck out of here.

No. Pacey,

I'm going to do
this, even if it
kills me.

Well, I guess
we could just

slip you in the coffin
with Abby.

It's a joke.
I'm kidding.

Hey.

You made it.

Can you just
hold my hand?

Good samaritan
of capeside.

Jennifer, i'm--

I lost a lot of sleep
last night, and i--

I do hope we can
avoid ugly scenes
like last night

in the future.

I--i want you to know
I forgive you.

I'm not looking for
your forgiveness, grams.

I'm looking for
your understanding...

And that's something
that you've never
been able to provide.

We are here today

to remember the life
of Abigail Morgan,

but before we begin,

I would like to invite
those of you

who wish to share
your memories of Abby

to come forward
at this time.

My name's Jen lindley,

and I was friends
with Abby,

as much as anybody
could be,

because Abby
had a toxic
personality

that bordered
on radioactive.

Abby could be cruel,

and Abby could be
spiteful,

and Abby could
certainly be petty.

She spent her days
mischievously
stirring up trouble

and creating calamity

and generally
taking pleasure

in other people's pain.

You know,
in Sunday school,

they teach us that god
made man in his image.

Well, if god made Abby
in his own image,

then what does
that say about god?

God has always been
such a mystery to me.

I mean, what sort of deity
creates a world

that is so full
of suffering

and is so full
of tragedy?

Tell you what,
Abby taught me a lot.

That girl taught me
how to do a Tequila shooter

with one hand
behind my back,

and she taught me
how to live my life

according to my own set
of values,

and not to just
follow the crowd

in hopes of winning some
phantom popularity contest,

but most of all,

what's most important
is that Abby taught me

the sadistic nature
of our god,

and while that knowledge
is disturbing,

it's true,
and it's real,

and in a world
that is so saturated

with phoniness
and with lies,

for that small amount,

for that little bit
of honesty,

I will always
be grateful to her.

Um...

There are people
who give me comfort

in my life.

Um, when the going
gets rough,

as it invariably does,

I can count on them
as a shoulder to cry on,

and they will
pick me up when I fall,

and hold me
in their arms as I cry

and tell me
that everything

is going to be
all right.

I am so thankful
for these people.

They are priceless...

But there's
another group of people

just as important
and just as priceless.

They are people
who challenge me,

who push me
to my breaking points,

and who force me
to muster courage

I never thought I had.

Abby Morgan
was one of those people.

In her own
truth-telling way,

she gave me strength.

I'm a stronger woman
because of her,

stronger than I ever thought
that I could be.

She gave me that gift.

She was one-of-a-kind.

There's no one
like her,

and she will
always hold

a special spot
in my heart.

♪ Be a hero, be a star ♪

♪ anything
but what you are ♪

♪ find the girl to possess ♪

♪ always pay,
pursue, protect ♪

♪ be the master,
be a slave ♪

♪ work your ass
into an early grave ♪

♪ but you deserve
to be loved ♪

♪ you deserve
somethin' real ♪

♪ time to heal ♪

♪ time to feel ♪

♪ you deserve to be loved ♪

I was editing
my movie yesterday,

and, um,

I just kept on watching
Abby's footage
over and over,

and it hit me

just how fleeting
life is,

you know, and...

I realized...

I don't want to die
with unlived life in my veins.

I don't want
to go to my grave

regretting
what could've been

if I'd only taken action,
and maybe...

This is the wrong time
to say this to you,

but Joey...

I am so happy

about what happened
between us the other night.

And I could just
keep on talking

until you
say something,

but usually
the more I talk,

the more chances
there are I'm going
to screw up, so--

Of course I'm happy.

Right now, I...

I have to go
to someplace.

Ok.

Do you think you
could walk me there?

Absolutely.

Thanks.

You know,
I have to admit,

you have had me worried
these last few days, McPhee,

but as per usual,

you managed to pull it off
with flying colors.

I think I needed
this whole
experience, pacey.

It just brought me
closer to Tim.

Uh...

I'm going to go
talk to her.

Andie...

Whew.

I cannot apologize
enough.

Abby's death
wasn't your fault.

It was mine.

What?

I invited her out.

I got her drunk.

I could've
saved her.

No, Jen, you did
everything you could.

The water was rough,
the current was too strong--

I saw her
in the water,

and...

She was so scared.

Don't think
about that, ok?

And because
I'm weak,

because I can't just
accept the blame,

I had to deflect it
onto everybody else,

onto capeside,

onto you,
onto my grams.
I mean--

oh, god,

and that speech,
that...Speech.

What was I thinking,
huh?

Well,
I'm a people-pleaser...

And sometimes in order
to succeed in that,

you have to be phony.

Abby was
the exact opposite,

and she put her truth
above everything.

And that's what you did.

It was a memorial
for Abby,

and you were just

being truthful
to her spirit.

Sometimes
I just don't think
it's appropriate

to speak your truth.

Sometimes
it's a better idea
to just shut up.

Oh, god, Jen.

Abby kept a diary.

It was pretty nasty,

and if her mom
finds it,

she's going to be
devastated.

♪ I know what comfort is ♪

♪ and I can't see
why I should ♪

♪ but I could do
most anything for you ♪

♪ and you know I would ♪

♪ I try too hard ♪

♪ and then I give up
way too easily ♪

♪ I'm the runner-up
inside of you ♪

♪ and you're the winner
inside of me ♪

♪ lose your way ♪

♪ and I will follow ♪

♪ here today ♪

♪ and here tomorrow ♪

♪ but my freedom, I know ♪

♪ I'll never let you go ♪

♪ I still wish
on the evenin' star ♪

♪ and I suppose
I always will ♪

♪ every child
loses somethin' ♪

♪ a whole life
can't fulfill ♪

♪ and when you cry,
I feel the sky ♪

♪ burst open in my veins ♪

♪ if lovin' you
makes a slave of me ♪

♪ then I'll spend
my whole life in chains ♪

I just, um...

I hope wherever she is,

she's happy.

She's looking down
on you...

And she's
very happy.

♪ I'll never let you go ♪

♪ walk the line ♪

♪ I'll walk inside you ♪

♪ change your mind ♪

♪ let your love decide you ♪

♪ it's the reason I know ♪

♪ you'll never let me go ♪

Grams?

How could you,
Jennifer?

You packed up
all my stuff.

I went to that
funeral today

to try to give you
some support

and to try
to rectify
some of the damage

in our fragile
relationship,

only to find you
heartlessly

thumbing your nose
at me,

in a house of god,
no less.

Grams, that speech
wasn't for you.

That was for Abby.

And I regret it.

I do.

And--and I know
that it was wrong,

and--and I'm sorry
that I offended
your beliefs--

this is not about
my beliefs

or free speech
or any other

philosophical
nonsense.

This is about
the truth,

and the truth
is you deliberately
tried to wound me

in that chapel.

You decided
to take out

all your
pain and rage
at the world on me.

Wait, grams--

you want understanding?

How about a little
understanding in return?

How about a little
compassion for me?

Not just for my beliefs,
but for me,

your grandmother,
who loves you,

who would do anything
for you,

who would die for you.

Wait, gram--grandma,
wait a minute.
Just listen.

You should be living
with someone else,

someone you respect,
and clearly, I am not
that person.

All the time you waste
rebelling against me

is getting you nowhere,

so while it pains me

more than you will
ever know, Jennifer,

I want you to move out.

Find somewhere else
to live.

Mrs. Morgan?

Hello?

Hello?