Dawson's Creek (1998–2003): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript

Dawson's Creek - Season 01 - Episode 00

"I'll be right here."

I love this movie.

- This won the Oscar, didn't it?
- Gandhu. Spielberg was robbed.

This is before he outgrew
his Peter Pan syndrome.

But Gandhu? Why give an Oscar to
a movie you can't even sit through?

All of the aurlune's scheduled flughts
were canceled...

- New do?
- Yeah. She likes big hair.

It must weigh a lot.
How does she walk upright?

- Where you going?
- Home.

- Spend the night.
- Can't.

- You always spend the night.
- Not tonight.

Why not?

It's not a good idea for me
to sleep over anymore, you know?

No, I don't know. You've been
sleeping over since you were 7.

- It's Saturday night.
- Things change, Dawson. Evolve.

What are you talking about?

Sleeping in the same bed was fine
when we were kids, but we're 1 5 now.

We start high school Monday.

- And I have breasts.
- What?

And you have genitalia.

- I've always had genitalia.
- But there's more of it.

- How do you know?
- Long fingers. I gotta go.

No, Jo, don't hit and run.
Come on. Explain yourself.

I think our emerging hormones are
destined to alter our relationship...

...and I'm trying
to limit the fallout.

Your emerging hormones aren't
developing a thing for me, are they?

"A thing"?

No, I'm not getting a thing
for you, Dawson.

I've known you too long.

I've seen you burp, barf,
pick your nose, scratch your butt...

- I'm not getting a thing for you.
- Then what's the problem?

We're changing,
and we have to adjust...

...or else the male-female thing
will get in the way.

What is with this
When Harry Met '80s crap?

It doesn't apply to us.
We transcend it.

- And how do we do that?
- By going to sleep. I'm tired.

- That's avoidance.
- No, it's proof.

Proof that we can
still remain friends...

...despite any mounting
sexual theoretics.

I don't think it works
that way, Dawson.

Come on, don't get
female on me, Joey.

I don't wanna have to start
calling you Josephine.

Josephine this.

Okay. I give.

Give.

We're friends, okay?

No matter how much
body hair we acquire.

- Deal?
- Deal.

And we don't ever talk
about this again. Deal?

- You got it.
- Cool.

Cool.

Good night, Joey.

Good night, Dawson.

Why'd you have
to bring this up anyway?

No, no! Cut! Cut! Cut!

It's like a three-count you gotta wait
before you come up. Come on!

- Pacey, come on. Joey...
- What was that all about?

If you come up before she's
established on the dock, it's not scary.

- He did it again. He grabbed my ass.
- Like you even have one.

We are way behind schedule,
all right? We've got two weeks.

I'm not gonna make the festival.
Hello! Some cooperation.

It's Meryl Streep's fault.
I'm doing the best I can.

Bite me.

Well, well... My mouth drops.

- Hey, there.
- Hi. I'm Pacey.

- Nice to meet you.
- Hi. I'm Dawson.

You're Dawson. Dawson.
Yeah, I know. We met before.

- I'm Jen.
- The granddaughter from New York.

- You look... different.
- Puberty.

Hi, I'm Joey. I live down the creek,
and we've never met. Ever.

- So, Jen, are you just visiting?
- My grandfather's aorta collapsed...

...so they had to replace it
with this plastic tube.

My parents sent me
to help out for a while.

- You'll be going to school here, then?
- Yeah, 1 0th grade.

- Hey, cool. Us too.
- Oh, good.

Look, my grams is waiting.
I should go.

It was really nice to meet you guys,
and I'll see you in school.

If not sooner. Yeah.

"If not sooner."

- Nice.
- Not bad.

Think she's a virgin?
You wanna nail her?

- We just met.
- And a wasted moment it was.

Greater men would be nailing
right now. You know what I mean?

Tact. Look it up.

- Oh, God! Mom!
- Hi, son.

- Your mother and I were...
- Just discussing whether or not...

We needed a new coffee table.

- Hi, Pacey.
- Hi, Mr. Leery, Mrs. Leery.

Hi, Pacey.

Don't look so red, Dawson.
It could be worse.

You know, Mrs. Leery,
I really love that new hairdo.

Thank you, Pacey.

- I thought you had to work today.
- We're running late.

I should get going. Okay,
Mr. Man-Meat, I'll see you later.

Mom! Mom!

- Just the victim I'm looking for.
- No, Bodie, not again.

But I'm being tested on this one.
Here, just a taste.

Orgasmic.

- Where's Bess?
- lf you wanna wear my things, fine.

They're fairly useless
to me at this point.

But that means you put them back
where you found them.

- Got it?
- Got it.

I'm way too pregnant to be digging
underneath your bed.

So stay out of my room.
Got it?

- I'm gonna knock her silly, I swear it.
- Here, try this.

Orgasmic.

Thank you.

So if your dad is Mr. Man-Meat...

...does that make you
Mr. Man-Meat Jr. or Mr. Man-Meat II?

They'll have to drag
the creek to find you.

Does Forrest Gump go
in the comedy or drama section?

How many times are
you gonna ask that?

- It goes in the drama section.
- Thank you, Dawson.

- Can you say "wet brain"?
- I'm sorry. What did you say?

Did you toss a negative,
disparaging remark my way?

Because if you did,
and correct me if I'm wrong...

...I'd like to remind you who you are.

- I know. Your dad owns the place.
- No.

I'm talking about in the huge,
rotating world of life.

- And who am I, Nellie?
- Nobody.

That's the point. You're not there.
You don't even exist.

Because if you did,
I might have to respond...

...to your pathetic, little
under-the-breath one-liners.

But instead, I take comfort
knowing you're vapor.

Nonexistent nothing.

My God, look at her.

Show some respect, man.
She's somebody's mother.

I have it on pretty good authority
that mothers have excellent sex lives.

- Good afternoon. Can we help you?
- Yes, you can.

This is my first time here,
and I'd like to rent a video.

Excellent.

You just fill that out,
and you shoot us over a credit card.

Thanks.

You new in town? Because I
haven't seen you in here before.

Yes, I am. My name's Tamara.
What's yours?

Pacey. Nice to meet you.

- Well, there you go, Pacey.
- All right. Thanks.

Do you think I could help you
locate a video this afternoon?

Maybe. I'm in the mood for romance.

- We keep the new releases against...
- Oh, no. I'm vintage all the way.

- The classics are in the...
- Where would I find The Graduate?

The Graduate is the one where...

Where the older woman,
Anne Bancroft...

...seduces the younger man,
Dustin Hoffman.

- I'll check in...
- It's right there, actually.

- Thanks.
- Do you need help with anything else?

- No, that should do it. How much?
- Pay when you return.

- Don't forget your credit card.
- Yeah. Right here.

- Enjoy the film.
- I will.

- It was nice to meet you, Pacey.
- Oh, yeah.

Wipe the drool, dude.

- Dude, she was flirting with me.
- She was laughing at you.

- No. She wanted me.
- She wanted Dustin Hoffman.

Hey.

- How's your granddad?
- He's breathing. Good sign.

It's just my grandmother
that presents the challenge.

She's got this praying mentality...

...which is really awkward,
since I don't do the whole God thing.

What do you have here?
Creature from the Black Lagoon...

...Humanouds from the Deep,
Swamp Thung?

- It's research. I'm making a movie.
- Really?

- You're young to be so ambitious.
- Fifteen.

Spielberg shot on an
8 mm when he was 1 3.

And why movies?
What's the attraction there?

I reject reality.

Would you like to see my studio?

Long shot here...

- Spielberg fan?
- I worship the man in a godlike way.

- How revealing.
- His career is chronicled on my wall.

If you notice, everything is arranged
in receding box-office order.

Starting with the blockbusters:
Jurassuc Park, E. T...

...Jaws, Induana Jones series.

And if you follow it
to my critically-acclaimed wall...

...I have Schundler's Lust
and The Color Purple.

Also, for humility purposes...

...I also keep his others.

1 9 4 1 and Always,
in limited, but accessible, view.

Are you familiar
with obsessive-reality disorder?

It's beyond that.

See, I believe that all
the mysteries of the universe...

...all the answers to life's questions
can be found in a Spielberg film.

It's a theory I've been working on.
Whenever I have a problem...

...all I have to do is look to the
right Spielberg movie for the answer.

Have you considered
a 1 2-step program?

Wit. We like that around here.

I actually see you as a vibrant yet
complex heroine who saves the day.

You are very smooth.

Seriously, the Boston Film Critics
have a program for junior filmmakers.

Heavy competition. The deadline's
in two months. We're under the gun.

Jennifer!

I better go.
I don't want her to erupt.

I'll see you at school.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Joey, hey, where you been?
Come on, sit down.

Watch this.

7 7 2- 5982.

Back to you, Bob.

Do you think my mom's sleeping
with her co-anchor?

- Where'd that come from?
- Watch.

- 982.

Back to you, Bob.

Something about her B's.
They're too soft.

- "Back to you, Bob."
- You're reaching.

Why would she be sleeping
with her co-anchor?

Your dad's
the perfect male specimen.

- I don't know, but I think they are.
- You're looking for conflict.

Everything's a potential script to you.

Accept your perfect life, Dawson.
It's reality.

Back to you, Bob.

Clean up contunues to...

- 982.

Back to you, Bob.

Morning, Granddaddy.

What are you doing?

I was just saying good morning.

Your breakfast is ready.

I'm glad I'm here, Grams.

You better hurry. You don't want
to be late your first day.

I don't usually eat
in the morning, Grams.

I appreciate the fuss and all...

...but my eyes barely
open before noon.

Just a coffee fix, and I'm set.

Well, I'll remember that
in the future.

Tell me about this Dawson guy
next door. He looks so different.

He used to be
kind of short and compact.

You stay away. That boy is trouble.

Aren't they all?

Well, what about the girl
who lives down the creek?

Joey, I think her name is?

That girl from down the creek...

...has been crawling
in the bedroom window...

...of that boy from next door
for the past 1 0 years.

Neither goes to church.

I believe they're what you call
the wrong element.

Right.

Say grace, dear.

- That's okay. You can do it.
- No, it would be nice if you did it.

I don't think so, Grams.
Thanks, though.

Is there some reason you don't want
to thank our Lord this morning?

Grams, I really didn't want to get
into this since I only just got here...

...and I'm kind of prone
to headaches and all...

...but I don't do well with the church
and the Bible and this prayer stuff.

I beg your pardon?

I don't covet a religious God.
I'm an atheist.

Hi. I'm Nellie Olsen.

- Nellie OI... As in Luttle House...?
- I know, I know.

Luttle House on the Praurue was
my parents' favorite show.

But no preconceptions, okay?
I'm not like her at all.

- I'm Jen.
- From New York. I know.

How's your grandfather?
He has us all worried.

He's still on the prayer list
at church. You party?

- Excuse me?
- Party.

Party, as in do I like
to have a good time...

...or party,
as in drink and use drugs?

It's subjective.

I like to have a good time,
substance-free.

Maybe we should call you Nellie.

See you.

- How's it going?
- I could really use a cigarette.

- You smoke?
- I quit. I'm just a little tense.

- You're hiding it well.
- I have a great denial system.

- It's the first day. It'll get easier.
- Good.

How's your schedule?
Who do you have first period?

- Rinson, biology.
- I was just heading that way.

Were you?

- Tamara.
- Hello, Pacey.

Tell you what, why don't you call me
Miss Jacobs during school hours.

Right. Of course.

Hi.

I was hoping we'd have
a class together.

Here we are.

Mrs. Bates.

Psycho.

You know the film?

Anthony Perkins, Janet Leigh,
Universal, 1 960.

Did you know that Hitchcock
surprised Janet Leigh...

...with freezing cold water in order
to get her to scream so effectively?

- Who are you?
- Dawson Leery.

Then I take it you'll be
in my fifth-period film lab.

That's why I'm here. There's some
confusion with my schedule.

- I was denied admittance to your class.
- Then you must be a sophomore.

- And that's not a good thing?
- It's a very popular class.

Seating's limited. There's a wait list.
Priority goes to upperclassmen.

- Well, that's stupid.
- Excuse me?

- Who made that rule?
- I did.

- Why are you so adamant?
- Passion, Mr. Gold.

Pure, mad-driven passion.
Movies are my life.

I see.

I'm sorry. I'm not coming
across well at all here.

The point is,
I'm gonna be a filmmaker.

It's my life's ambition.
It always has been.

How many students do you have
in this class that can say that?

This is a small town, Mr. Gold.
There's not much opportunity for me.

You have the power. You could
easily override this bizarre rule...

...that denies students
their education.

You're very convincing, Dawson Leery.
But I'm afraid the class is maxed out.

I wish I could make exceptions, but
that would be unfair and problematic.

I'm sorry to say, no is
my definitive answer.

- But...
- No. Period.

It's a complete sentence.

Hey, Joey. Can I ask you
something kind of up-front?

Sure.

- Are you and Dawson a thing?
- No, we're just friends.

Like we're gonna be, I hope.

My grams warned me about you.
She says you're severely troubled.

Well, no offense,
but your grams is cracked.

- Why does she rag on you?
- Pick a topic.

There's my dad,
the imprisoned convict...

...or my sister, impregnated
by her black boyfriend.

Your father's in prison?

Conspiracy to traffic marijuana
in excess of 1 0,000 pounds.

Wow, so then where's your mother?

She had this cancer thing.
It got her.

- So then you live with your sister?
- And the black boyfriend.

He likes you, you know.

- Who, the black boyfriend?
- Dawson.

Don't abuse his feelings.

Okay, the bald man is Mr. Herman.

He teaches a timid calculus class
and packs a.45 Magnum.

Last year, opened fire.
Killed two students and a custodian.

Pled justifiable homicide.
They didn't have a hall pass.

Woman in the funky black dress.
Periodic drinker.

Blacks out after two glasses of cheap
wine and runs through town naked.

Singing Neil Diamond songs.

You're good. I should bring you in
to punch up my dialogue.

We're supposed
to be working, Dawson.

Would you mind looking at Act 3?
I'm having a climax issue.

Sure.

Tamara...
Pardon, Miss Jacobs.

- How was The Graduate?
- Just as I remembered.

Are you looking for romance tonight?

Why, you got any suggestions?

Have you ever seen
the Summer of '42?

Refresh my memory.

Well, it's about a beautiful woman...

...who seduces a young boy
on the verge of manhood.

It's a favorite.

I could reserve it for you
if you'd like.

Actually, tonight I'm going to see
that new film playing at the Rialto.

- Yeah.
- It's getting great reviews.

Oh, yeah. Well, I guess
maybe I'll check it out, then.

Hey, watch it!

Man, video woman is
my new English teacher.

You, me, the movies tonight.
We're stalking a faculty member.

- Dude, negative.
- What?!

I have the possibility
of losing my virginity...

...in a high-level fantasy fashion.

Pacey, go home. Walk your dog.

It's not gonna happen
with the English teacher.

Not tonight.
That's not the plan, man.

I just wanna familiarize her...

...with the gaze, the smile,
the charming features, you know.

Don't do this to yourself.

Listen, it is a fact that a
large percentage of older women...

...are attracted to young boys
on the verge of manhood.

It keeps them feeling young.
I read that in Cosmopolutan.

What are you doing
reading Cosmopolutan?

I have three menstrually
diverse sisters. Cosmo is my savior.

What do you need me for?

Moral support, okay? It'll be cool.

You can invite Miss Teen New York.

- That sounds good.
- Unless somebody's beaten you to it.

Come on, man, get in there.
Be assertive. Talk to her, all right?

You should be reading Cosmo.
It'll build your female-esteem.

Go on.

- Dawson, hey, how's it going?
- Pretty good.

- I see you've met Roger Fulford.
- Yeah, nice guy.

Yeah. Jock quarterback by day,
schizophrenic transvestite by night.

- Oh, really?
- Has a Tori Spelling complex.

He's partial to Victoria's Secret.
Just so you know.

But can he run in pumps?

Pacey's cruise-directing a trip
to the movies tonight.

Nothing big, just a few of us.
Would you like to come?

Hey, Joey!

I need a favor.

I have a semi-quasi date
with Jen tonight.

We're seeing a movie with Pacey,
and I need you come.

I'd rather go down in a plane crash.

It'd be weird, just two guys and Jen.
You'd even it out.

Would it be like a double date?

Sort of, but not really.
Pacey's on a hormonal mission.

- Have you had an aneurysm? No way.
- It's not a "date" date.

- It's so Jen won't feel uncomfortable.
- We wouldn't want that.

Come on, Joey, please?
Please? Please? Please? Please?

Come on, Joey, please?

- Whatever.
- Thank you. You're the best, I mean it.

I know you're worried about
our relationship and everything...

...but nothing has to change.
We can talk about anything.

Where exactly are you going?

Dawson has a gun. We're gonna rob
a few liquor stores, then get tattoos.

Why do you talk like that?

I'm just trying to establish a rapport
with you that's based on humor.

- I'm completely harmless. You'll see.
- Well, just be back by 1 0.

I can do that.
Thanks for being so cool about this.

I thought you were gonna chain me
to a chair or something.

Not at all. You wanna go
to the movies, go.

Have fun, just as long as you come
to church with me on Sunday morning.

I knew there was gonna be a catch.

I'm sorry, but you're gonna have
to give up on this one.

I'm afraid I insist.

I'm firm about my beliefs.
Please respect them.

I know what happened in New York.
Church will do you good.

Let me determine that.
Church isn't the answer, not for me.

But I promise you,
I will keep an open mind...

...and honor and respect your beliefs
for as long as I'm here.

The decision has been made.

You will do as I say.
You are under my guard.

I am trying really hard to keep
my rebellious nature in check.

I'll tell you what, I'll go to church
when you say the word "penis."

You stop that talk.

It's just a word, Grams.
Clinical and technical. Penis.

Grams, I really love you,
but you're gonna have to lighten up.

I'll see you later.

All right, Dad, I'm out of here.

What do you think?

I thought all the waitresses
could wear scuba gear.

Completely impractical.

This whole aquatic-themed restaurant
idea gets worse on a daily basis.

Shift, your mom's on.

Watching her work is
the best foreplay.

- I'm out of here.
- Have fun. Play safe.

- Condom chat is premature.
- It's never too early.

What is up with the sex?! That's all
anybody thinks about anymore.

Sex, sex, sex!
What is the big deal?

Sex is a very big part
of who we are as human beings.

Does that mean we have
to go hump the coffee table?

If sex is so important...

...then how come Spielberg has never
had a sex scene in one of his movies?

He keeps it in its proper place
in film, as should we in life.

I'll be home early.

Back to you, Bob.

- Hold on a sec.
- I'm in a hurry.

Your attitude's gotta go.

Now blot them together like this:

You hold on to this,
and every half-hour to an hour...

...you excuse yourself
to go touch up. Got it?

Are you staying
the whole school year?

That depends on my gramps, really,
and my mom and dad.

Joey, I love your lipstick.
What shade is that?

Wicked red. I love your hair color.
What number is that?

You'll have to excuse Joey.
She was born in a barn.

That's okay.
Joey, I just do highlights.

So, Jen, you a virgin?

- That's mature!
- Because Dawson is a virgin.

And two virgins make for a clumsy
first encounter, don't you think?

You are gonna die.

I just thought I'd help.
You know, cut to the chase.

No, it's okay, Dawson.
Yes, I am a virgin.

- How about you? Are you a virgin?
- Oh, please. Years ago.

A trucker named Bubba.

What is up with you?

Back in a bit.

- So, Jen, you a size queen?
- Excuse me?

- How important is the size to you?
- Joey.

Being a virgin, I haven't given it
much thought. How about yourself?

- I'm torn...
- You and me, outside. Now.

- What do you think, Dawson?
- I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you.

Did you notice the long fingers?

- Hey, Tamara.
- Hi. Pacey, what are you doing here?

Just checking out the movie.
I came with some friends.

Oh, good, I'm glad.

But I can sit here with you, you know.
Want a Milk Dud?

No, but...

By the way, Summer of '42 is
officially reserved in your name.

- I don't think you understand...
- No, it was nothing.

I could even come over.
We could watch it together.

Hi. Pacey, are you sure you don't
wanna go sit with your friends?

- Who's this guy?
- A friend.

- Hey, quiet!
- Sorry.

- Tammy, is this kid bothering you?
- No, Benji.

"Benji"? Miss Jacobs
invited me herself.

Not exactly. You must understand.
I was only renting a movie.

- Why don't I help you find your seat.
- Get your hands off me.

What is your problem?

Ever since Miss Highlights showed up,
you haven't said one word to me!

That is crap, and you know it!

I know all your blood is
rushing down...

...when you can't acknowledge
another human being's presence.

I like her, okay? Sue me!
I thought you were my friend.

- Where is a little understanding?
- I understand everything.

I'm tired of understanding!
All I do is understand!

Joey!

Nothing penetrates with you, Dawson.
You're so far removed from reality...

...you can't even see
what's right in front of you.

- What are you talking about?
- Your life.

It's a freaking fairy tale,
and you don't even know it.

You just want conflict
for that script you're writing.

Stop living in the movies.

Grow up.

- So I'll walk you to your door.
- Not with Grams waiting to pounce.

Oh, that's right.

So...

So...

It was a really repulsive evening.

You know what? This is all my fault.

I know I don't possess much power
in the universe...

...but I feel completely
responsible for tonight.

No, I pulled the pin,
I tossed the grenade.

I got a big old L right:

No, you're not a loser, Dawson.

You're very sweet.

And smart.
You've got a great sense of humor.

You're cool without being
really obnoxious about it.

You're very, very talented.

You got clear skin. Big plus.

- Thank you.
- No.

Thank you, Dawson. Things were
not so great for me in New York...

...and they're kind of
scary right now...

...so thank you.

I should go.

- But thanks for everything, Dawson.
- But...

I'm just gonna pretend
we kissed, okay?

What are the chances?

- Pacey, are you okay?
- I'll live.

- Wait, talk to me a second.
- About what?

The Graduate or the Summer of '42,
which would you rather discuss?

I'd like to clear up
this misunderstanding.

I understand you perfectly well,
Miss Jacobs.

- I'm so sorry.
- You should be because you're a liar.

How can you say you were
just renting a movie?

- Because it's the truth.
- It's a crock.

The truth is, you're a well-put-together
knockout of a woman...

...who's feeling a little insecure
about hitting 40.

So when a virile boy, such as myself,
flirts with you, you enjoy it.

You entice it.
You fantasize about...

...being with that young boy
on the verge of manhood.

Because it helps you
stay feeling attractive.

Makes the aging process
a little more bearable.

Well, let me tell you something.
You blew it, lady.

Because I'm the best sex
you'll never have.

You're wrong about one thing, Pacey.

You're not a boy.

Oh, God.

I'm sorry.

Oh, God.

I'll see you in school, Miss Jacobs.

What are you doing in there?

Hanging with the clothes.

What happened tonight, Joey?

I wigged out.

What is going on between us?

I have no idea.

I have this incredibly perfect life,
and I completely underappreciate it.

Yeah, you do.

I'm sorry I was such
an insensitive male.

I thought I was above it.

I don't wanna lose you, Joey.

What we have is the only thing
that makes sense to me.

When I saw you at the movie theater
with that lipstick on...

...I remember thinking
how pretty you looked.

I mean, I ignored it.
But I thought it.

But that was it, Jo.

It didn't go any further than that.

When I saw you going
for Jen's hand, I...

I mean, it's not like I wanted
to be the one holding your hand.

I just didn't want her holding it.

So where does that leave us?

It's all so complicated.

We're growing up, Dawson, that's all.

Even Spielberg outgrew
his Peter Pan syndrome.

Where you going?

I can't sleep over anymore,
and we can't talk the way we used to.

There are some things
we just can't say.

No, that's just not true.
I could tell you anything.

- How often do you walk your dog?
- What?

You know what I mean.

What time of day?
How many times a week?

Good night.

See you, Dawson.

See you, Joey.

Joey!

Usually in the morning,
with Katie Couric!

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