Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 3, Episode 2 - Inherit the Wimp - full transcript

Gosalyn uses a time machine to bring some of Darkwing's ancestors to the present for a school report. Unfortunately, they aren't all the heroes Darkwing believed them to be.

♪ Daring duck of mystery ♪

♪ Champion of right ♪

♪ Swoops out of the shadows ♪

♪ Darkwing owns the night ♪

♪ Somewhere some villain schemes ♪

♪ But his number's up ♪

3, 2, 1!

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

♪ When there's trouble, you call D.W. ♪

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

Let's get dangerous.

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

Darkwing, Darkwing... Duck!

♪ Cloud of smoke and he appears ♪

♪ A master of surprise ♪

♪ Who's that cunning mind behind ♪

♪ That shadowy disguise? ♪

♪ Nobody knows for sure ♪

♪ Bad guys are out of luck ♪

♪ Here comes ♪

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

Look out!

♪ When there's trouble, you call D.W. ♪

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

Let's get dangerous.

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

♪ Better watch out, you bad boys! ♪

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

A mysterious hero protects the City of St. Canard.

He is the terror that flaps in the night...

He is the eraser that rubs out typos of crime.

He is... Gosalynnnn's daaad!


"Eraser... typos of crime... Gosalyn's dad". Gosalyn's dad?

You can't write this.

I don't care if it is a homework assignment.

You can't tell the world I'm Darkwing Duck.

I'm not reading it to the world, just my English class.

It's not like anyone's going to be awake.

Come on, Dad. I gotta write about a member of my family.

That's it! Who says you have to report on a living relative?

Well, the dead ones are kinda uncooperative.

You think so, huh?

How would you like to meet a few?

That depends on how you mean that.

There. One more turn of the wrench

and it's off we go into the wild blue yonder!

Maybe not.

Wait'll you see the Mallard family tree.

Sure! Then I can meet the family bush and family mulch pile.

Hey, hey, hey!

The Mallard family has produced the greatest heroes in history.


Is that you, D.W.?

Eh, do we have that extra cross-differential axle binding?

Not anymore.

Aw, that's our last one.

Say, I know where to find one!

I'm sure they used one in this thing.

But, Dad, I know this sounds incredibly out of character,

but I've got to do my homework.

Not until I show you your family history.

I read about my heroic forebears all the time!

Well, maybe not all the time.

You'll see that heroism isn't just a family tradition,

it's genetic.

Whoa! Your ancestors were professional wrestlers?

No, that is my great-great-


The first hero on the Mallard family tree...

Webwulf the barbarian.

He was a great barbarian warrior...

And the inventor of the wheel.

Pretty impressive, eh?

No kidding'!

I wonder what are the royalties on something' like the wheel?

Ah, here we go!

This is my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-granddad,

the chivalrous Sir Quackmire Mallard...

Knight of the realm, hero of the Duck ages.

This gallant ancestor of mine not only saved damsels in distress...

I am so distressed.

But, he was the first pole-vaulter in Merry Olde England.

My hero!

This book is way cool.

Hey, who's this?

Ah, my great-great-granddad...

Sheriff Quack Mallardson,

otherwise known as the Whittlin' Kid...

The fastest draw west of Nacogdoches.

They say his six guns carved quite a path in the old west.

Whittlin' desperados like kindling.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess you could say heroism runs thick

in the ol' Mallard veins.

Are swelled heads genetic, too?

What? Listen, young lady, you'd better be more...

What's going on?

Major meltdown! It looks like someone
put a penny in the fuse box again.

Silence. This smacks of the chicanery
of that kingpin of kilowatts... Megavolt!

Well, duh!

Launchpad, let's get danger...

What? What are you doing with the time top?

Just gettin' a part for the Thunderquack.



I knew that thing would be trouble
when we took it from Quackerjack.

Now Launchpad is lost in time.

I'm back! Oh, I'm back!

Interesting fashion statement, though.

Oh, boy, it's good to see you guys!

You know, I spent the last three
years in ancient Rome invading Goth.

I finally fixed the time top and got back.

You're talking' to Launchpadius McQuackus,

centurion third class.

Come on, Caesar, as I said three years ago,

let's get dangerous!

What am I supposed to do for fun?

Your homework!

What kind of fun can ya have doin' home...

On second thought...

I might not mind this homework assignment at all!.

Whoa, and the Romans were so primitive!!

No cars, no toenail clippers, no deodorant...huh!

Whew, boy! Was there no deodorant!

And pizza. You'd think they'd have a pizzeria or two.

But all they had were statues.

Statues, statues, statues.

Everywhere you looked, statues!

Oh, these barbarians! How dare they do this to you!

Locking you away in the dark!

It's... it's shocking!

But don't you worry, my little 20-watt tootsie,

Soon you'll be free.

Free to shine whenever you want for as long as you want.

No more darkness for you!

You are in the dark?

Just what are you doing?

Ah! Here's the heartless taskmaster now!

What? You've got your nerve!

No. I've got yours.

Or, your nervous energy, to be exact.

You won't be needing it.

And I've got a much more important use for it!

So long, everybody!

Don't ever change.

You certainly never change, Chuckles.

Oh, not again.

Haven't you learned crime does not pay?

Maybe not, but the benefits package is great.

♪ Missed me, missed me ♪

♪ now you can't kiss me ♪

Whew! That was close, huh, Launchpad?


Oh, no!

That's some of my best work.

Neo-postmodern with a classical motif.

It needs something, or should I say "someone."

Well, I always wanted a statue of me in this town.

Go ahead, Mega-Dolt.

Darkwing Duck can take it!

I'm made of sterner stuff, because I'm a hero, darn it!

And heroes do stuff like this.

What was... huh?

Hi, Dad! Is this worth some extra credit on my homework?

I thought you liked having a family reunion.

Look, Gosalyn. You just don't go flitting through time

higgledy piggledy rearranging history.

Has it occurred to you

that if we don't get my ancestors back to their time,,

that there won't be a Darkwing Duck in this time?

Oi, bummer.

Oh, sorry, Granddad, but, uh...we've got to get to the time top

and send you all home.

Reckon that might be hard,

seeing as Webwulf there took a dislike to that contraption.

But verily, Heleigh thinks he thought it a demon important.

He really was quite adamant about it.

Webwulf smash!

Heh heh. Sort of a barbarian thing.

But I'm sure Launchpad can fix it.

Oh, yeah.

Poor Lunchpad. Will he ever be okay again?

Don't worry, Gos.

We'll force Megavolt to return his nervous energy.

and P will be as good as new.

Tha...hat...hat's good.

In the meantime, can I take him to art class?

We have finals coming up.


All right, Granddad. I guess you can all stay for a while.

Gosalyn will take you back to Darkwing Tower.

You can't leave 'em behind.

You said they were great time travelers.

They can help you slam-dunk Megavolt!

Hmm. They would come in handy.

All right, Dad, whatever you say. Back they go.

Let-let-let-let's not be hasty, Gosalyn.

This is a group of the greatest heroes of all time.

We stand for justice. No one can stop us!

Excuse me, is this the lost and found?

I guess so. I found you... and you lose!

All right, everybody say, "free-eze."

Scatter, granddads!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Go ahead and run.

You can't stop me forever!


Webwulf smash!

Can we talk about this?

Thataway, Webwulf! Waste 'im!

Ha ha ha!


Roundy, roundy, roundskin.

I doubt this guy's brain has enough energy to power a penlight.

But, hey, every little wit helps!

Desist, base villain!

Your foul deeds shall not go unpunished!


Well, Whittlin', reckon you ought to fill that varmit with lead.


Reckon not, Girly. I'd be frozen for sure

trying to plug him with one of these.

It's made of wood!

If I carried a real gun, somebody might get hurt.

I reckon.

Time to suck some gas, evildoer!

I'd rather suck some energy!


Oh, dear!

Uh-oh. Power problem.

Going dowwwnnn!


Until we figure out how to deal with this energy drainer,

we'd better leave Megavolt here.

Come on, heroes.

Oh, I can't be related to those guys.

There's gotta be some mistake.

But I thought you said you owe everything you are to your heroic forebears.

You mean those guys?

Roundy, roundy, roundskin!

My faith in genetics is beginning to weaken.

Or, maybe they're having an off... life.

This is the Mallard family tree.

And you're in here...

or not.

That's weird.

All the pictures are here, but you aren't in 'em.

I reckon that somebody done pruned that there family tree, I reckon.

Ugh. Unless I return you to your own times,

you won't fulfill your heroic destinies.

Oh, 'tis a noble thought, but I'm afraid I am no hero.

I am a cursed Mallard, as are we all.

M-M-Mallard, uh...curse?

Uh, but...the Mallards were all great heroes.

It runs in our veins...hee, hee, hee...doesn't it?

Would that it were so, but...

alas, every Mallard throughout time

hath failed to measure up.

I have spent my whole life

in a vain attempt to perform a single heroic task.

I don't know why, but I always seem to fail.

But they named you the Whittlin' kid

because you carved up the desperadoes like kindling.

Uh, sorry, Son, but they call me the Whittlin' Kid 'cause I... whittle.

Well, that's stupid!

Face it, Dad. Heroes aren't born, they're made.

You know, you're right.

I made myself a hero.

And I can make these guys heroes, too!

Webwulf not afraid to fight!

He great warrior!

At least there's one hero to help us.

Ooh! Roundy!

Roundy, roundy, roundskin.

Roundy, roundy, roundskin!

That's it. I'm cursed.

I'm descended from a line of weenies.

Oh, maybe I should just give up and have a nice glass of buttermilk.

Uh, Dad, if your ancestors don't go back,

like how are they going to have any Darkwing descendants?

Oh, that's simple. H.G. Wells proved
the Asimovian theory that you can't...

I mean, you know, if a guy shoots
his grandfather... I'm doooomed!

Ah, ha!

Don't play coy with me!

Are you on or off?

Oh, fine. Keep your secrets.

It doesn't matter. Soon St. Canard will be frozen!

And I'll have enough nervous energy

to light every bulb in the world forever!


Who said that?

Was it you, bright boy?

Say it to my face.

We have to force MegaVolt to unfreeze the

These trays will deflect the beam from his gun.

Haveyouthink you should handle this without us.

Well, Methinks you shouldn't worry about it.

Being a hero is as simple as falling off a log.

Well, I certainly can do that.

There he is!

Sorry, Dullwing. This is a dead-end and so are you.

Okay, Team, just like we planned.



Be right there, I reckon.

Webwulf ready to fight.


Reckon ya better start without us.

Relatives of yours?

Good! Then I'll know where to send the flowers!

What d'ya know, Darkwing? You're the light of my life.

Ah, I can't believe you let Megavolt take my dad!

'Tis true, but that we are but Mallards and eternally cursed.

I reckon it's so, I reckon.

Well, I'm a Mallard now, too!

And I say that the four of us are gonna save my dad!

You may just be "the dweebs time forgot" now,

but before I'm done you're gonna be a way-cool crime-fightin' crew!

Have at you, varlet!

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I'm better with a horse.


Suck gas... I reckon.

Webwulf smash!

Way to go, Wulfman!

Roundy, roundy, roundskin.

This may take a little longer than I thought.

Methinks it's the end of the world.

I reckon.

Megavolt has control of every light in St. Canard!

And I reckon Darkwing's a goner.

I reckon.

No way, Kimosabe!

He got caught trying to give you a chance to be heroes!

Well, it's payback time!

Verily! Darkwing Duck believed in us!

Yep, reckon it's time we believe in ourselves.

Let's get dangerous!

If it wasn't so beautiful, it would be horrible.

What's the matter?


Well, at least you're not lonely.

I feel so... so... so...

Just so darn good!

Thanks to my electro-nerve generator,

every light within 10 miles is on, on, on!

Even when the doors are closed.

Shine my bulbies!


Not so fast, Bulbhead!

We are the Terrors that Flap in the night.

We are the splinters you can't tweeze, I reckon.

We are the rust spots on the armor of crime!

We, uh... we...

We bad!

Webwulf, roundy, roundy, roundskin.

I wonder why I make so many new friends?

It must be my magnetic personality!

And now it's time to play freeze-tag!

You're it.

I don't get it. Who turned off the juice?

Wait a minute. This is made of wood!

Reckon you're looking for this, I reckon.

Gee, yeah, ou are the fastest whittler in the west, I reckon!

Prepare to meet thy fate, villain!

I'd rather heat your feet, Lancelot.


Anybody, uh...got the right century?

You might have broken my generator,

but you haven't broken me!

Ok, then let's go for broke.

That one was for the Mallards... Past and present.

Well, he ought to keep nicely until the police get here.

Right, heroes?

Great! I reckon. Yeah!

Yeah, that'll do it. She'll drop you all off and zap back here.

Reckon I'll miss y'all.

Nope, I don't reckon.

I know it.

Oh, don't worry, Guys.

Everything will be the same in your time as it was when you left it.

Not quite.

Thanks to you and Gosalyn,

we now know we should be proud to bear the Mallard name.

And I'm proud to have descended from you.

Yep, yep, yep, that's that.

You've been rescued, and the family honor is saved.

Not bad for a day's work.

Aut, dut, dut, dut, dut, there Missy. Your day isn't over yet.

My homework?

Report's due tomorrow.

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪