Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 1, Episode 63 - Dirtysomething - full transcript
♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
INCREDIBLE!
TA-DA!
ABSOLUTELY
UNBELIEVABLE!
YOU PROMISED ME ANY TOY
FOR CLEANING MY ROOM.
YES, BUT I NEVER THOUGHT
IT WOULD HAPPEN.
ORDERING ONE
MEGABLASTING MUTANTS
OF DEATH VIDEO GAME.
I'M PROUD OF YOU,
GOSALYN.
AAH! NO, DAD, DON'T!
DON'T WHAT, HONEY?
SO, YOU CLEANED
YOUR ROOM, HUH?
UH...OF COURSE I MAY HAVE
MISSED A FEW SPOTS.
THERE WILL BE NO MUTANTS
MEGABLASTING
UNTIL THIS ROOM
IS CLEAN.
[DOOR SLAMS]
IT WAS WORTH TRYING.
DIDN'T I JUST DO THIS
A YEAR OR TWO AGO?
GOSALYN'S ROOM!
SOMETHING TERRIBLE
IS HAPPENIN'!
WE GOTTA SAVE HER.
WE GONNA GET DANGEROUS?
NO NEED, LAUNCHPAD.
GOSALYN'S
CLEANING HER ROOM.
IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT.
SHE'S BEEN BRAINWASHED.
[BEEPING]
HA HA HA!
MAKE MY DAY, LINTBALL.
AMMONIA PINE--
WHEN CLEAN ISN'T ENOUGH.
YECCH! TIME FOR THIS BABY
TO SUCK SUDS.
WILL YOU STOP THAT,
AMMONIA?
OH!
F.O.W.L. HIGH COMMAND.
I THOUGHT
YOU WERE SMUDGES.
OH, DEAR.
DUE TO A SLIGHT F.O.W.L.
CASH-FLOW DEFICIENCY,
YOU ARE TO IMPLEMENT
EMERGENCY EXTORTION
PLAN 23B.
23B!
23B! OH, GOODY!
I'M SO...
I WONDER WHAT IT IS.
AHEM.
BECAUSE
OF THE IMPORTANCE
OF E.E.P. 23B,
YOU'LL BE WORKING
WITH A PARTNER.
WAIT. NO, HOLD IT!
I WORK ALONE.
NOT ANYMORE YOU DON'T,
HONEY.
OH, NO!
THEY COULDN'T.
THEY WOULDN'T.
THEY DIDN'T!
THEY SURE DID,
YOU OVERGROWN MOP.
AMPLE GRIME!
IS IT REALLY YOU?
WELL, IT AIN'T
THE DEPARTMENT
OF SANITATION.
SISTER!
SISTER!
[CRYING]
YECCH!
YOUR GUNK DIRTIED UP
MY UNIFORM.
YOUR UNIFORM
CLEANED OFF MY GUNK.
THERE.
THAT WASN'T SO HARD.
COME IN.
OOPS.
SORRY.
OHH...
THAT'S O.K., HONK.
YOU CAN TAKE OUT
THE GARBAGE.
YOU MEAN ALL THIS?
NO, SILLY.
I'M KEEPIN' THIS.
I MEANT THAT.
WOW. YOU OUGHTA
CONSIDER RECYCLING
SOME OF THIS STUFF.
NEVER! THIS STUFF HAS
REAL SENTIMENTAL VALUE.
THIS WAS MY FIRST
KOO KOO KOLA CAN.
A REAL COLLECTIBLE.
WELL, O.K., GOS,
BUT RECYCLING CENTERS
DO PAY FAIRLY WELL.
MONEY?
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?
DRINK UP, HONKER!
WE ONLY NEED $48.23
TO BUY MEGABLASTERS.
[AMMONIA]
OH, SO THAT'S PLAN 23B.
ACTUALLY,
I THINK IT'S PISTACHIO.
I'M TRYING TO
KEEP THIS PLACE CLEAN.
HOW DOES THIS THING WORK
ANYWAY?
FIRST, MY SUPER
GUNK-A-MATIC SPRAY
DOES ITS THING.
[AMPLE]
THEN THE FUN'S OVER.
YOU MEAN THE FUN BEGINS.
A SIMPLE FLIP OF A SWITCH
AND BINGO!
[AMMONIA]
THE CLEAN MACHINE
EXTRACTOR BEAM
SUCKS UP EVERY CENT
IN ST. CANARD!
HA HA HA!
I CAN'T WAIT
TO BUILD IT!
YOU? I'M JUST ITCHIN'
TO GET AT IT.
LAST ONE AT
THE RUBBER FACTORY
IS A DIRTY BIRD!
I'M GONNA GET YOU
FOR THAT ONE.
AND STOP MAKING
SUCH A MESS!
HONK,
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
WE'VE GOT
20 CASES TO GO.
[BURPS]
GROSS!
[BURPS]
CAN I DO THAT?
[BURPS]
[ALARM]
NEVER MIND
THE KOO KOO KOLA.
THAT'S MY DARKWING
REMOTE ALARM TERMINAL.
MY NEW AND IMPROVED
D.R.A.T.
WILL PINPOINT ANY CRIME
IN ST. CANARD.
AHA! ACCORDING
TO THIS READOUT,
THERE IS
DEFINITELY A BREAK-IN
AT THE RUBBER WORKS...
OR AT THE MOUSETRAP
FACTORY.
TH-TH-THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
O.K. IT STILL HAS
BUGS IN IT.
[AMPLE]
I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE'RE FINALLY
WORKING TOGETHER.
OH, I BELIEVE IT.
YECCH!
YOU COULDN'T BE
MORE DISGUSTING!
WANNA BET?
[FARTING SOUNDS]
OH, NO!
BOY, YOU'RE NO FUN.
NOT YOU.
TH-TH-THAT!
I AM THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I AM THE RASPBERRY SEED
YOU CAN'T FLOSS OUT.
I...
WE SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE TO
THE MOUSETRAP FACTORY FIRST.
TIME TO WRAP IT UP,
DARKMEAT DUCK.
OH, NO.
LEFTOVERS AGAIN.
NOW IT'S GRIME TIME.
MY CAPE!
YOU'LL GET MY CLEANING BILL,
YOU WALKING TAR PIT!
WATCH WHAT YOU
CALL MY SISTER.
SISTER?
SISTER?
YOU SEE
THE FAMILY RESEMBLANCE?
FAMILIES THAT
PULL THE CRIME
TOGETHER,
DO THE TIME
TOGETHER.
ALLOW ME, SIS.
SIC 'EM, BOYS!
OOH, ANYTHING BUT
LITTLE BLACK DOTS.
YOU THINK YOU COULD
STOP ME WITH--
WHAT ARE THEY?
JUST MY PET LICE.
A LITTLE TO THE LEFT.
HARDER!
I JUST CAN'T FIGURE IT.
WHY STEAL
TWO GIANT HOSES?
THEY'LL SIPHON OFF
ST. CANARD'S OIL SUPPLY.
NO MOTIVE.
SPEW TOXIC WASTE
INTO THE RESERVOIR?
NO PROFIT.
DRINK EVERY
BOTTLE OF SODA
IN ST. CANARD?
NO...DEPOSIT.
HOW 'BOUT THIS?
THEY'RE GONNA CREATE
AN ARMY OF GIANT
BLOODTHIRSTY
HOSE MONSTERS.
HMM...BEEN DONE.
HOW'S THE RECYCLING
GOIN', KIDS?
THE EXCHANGE RATE ON TRASH
IS LOWER THAN I EXPECTED,
AND WE'RE OUT OF STUFF.
DAD, CAN I RECYCLE
SOME JUNKY THINGS
OF YOURS?
SURE, HONEY.
NOW, WHERE WERE WE?
O.K. THEY'RE BUILDING
A GIANT MACHINE
TO GLUE EVERYONE
TO THE GROUND,
WHILE THEY VACUUM THEM
TO ROB THEM BLIND.
[DARKWING]
NAH! TOO PREDICTABLE.
THE RATCATCHER?
YOUR DAD'LL
HAVE A FIT.
DRAT! IT'S THE D.R.A.T.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHERE IS EVERYTHING?
KRYM--ALL CRIME,
ALL THE TIME.
THIS JUST IN--
A BREAK-IN AT THE MUSEUM
OF REALLY EXPENSIVE THINGS.
O.K. LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
WHERE'S THE STATUE?
NOW I KNOW
SOMETHING'S GOING ON.
UH, WHAT WAS
YOUR FIRST CLUE, D.W.?
WHAT THE DEVIL IS
GOING ON AROUND HERE?
ELVES? POSSIBLY
REALLY LARGE MICE?
NEVER MIND.
TO THE QUACKCYCLE!
RIGHT! TO THE...
QUACKCYCLE?
OH.
THIS QUACKCYCLE.
[AMMONIA]
REALLY, AMPLE. YOU HAVE
NO RESPECT FOR BEAUTY.
WHO SEZ?
I AM THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I AM THE SQUEAKY BRAKES
THAT--OH, NUTS.
[LAUNCHPAD]
GEE, I GUESS THE QUACKCYCLE
DOESN'T HAVE BRAKES.
I NOTICED.
SUCK GAS, EVILDOERS!
"ONE RECYCLED GAS GUN."
WHAT CITIZENSHIP, D.W.
RECYCLING
YOUR ONLY GAS GUN.
IT'S NOT ME,
IT'S GOSALYN.
SHE'S RECYCLING
EVERYTHING.
I NEED TO TALK
TO THAT GIRL.
WELL, CHARADES ARE OVER.
NOW LET'S PLAY CLEAN UP!
WHAT A TEAM!
GROSS!
EWW!
UH, D.W., YOU GO FOR
THIS MODERN ART?
I NEVER
GOT THE POINT.
YOU WILL!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
SORRY, D.W.
DON'T MOVE.
NO WAY, D.W.
I WON'T MOVE A MUSCLE.
AAH!
WOW! NOW THAT'S
WHAT I CALL ART.
WE'VE BEEN ROBBED.
"RECYCLED.
ONE SUPER COMPUTER."
"RECYCLED.
ONE CHEMISTRY LAB."
"RECYCLED.
ONE COMIC BOOK COLLECTION"
THAT'S THE LAST STRAW.
OH, GOSALYN!
WAIT UNTIL I--
SHE'S GONNA--
OH! I'LL RECYCLE HER!
AT LEAST
SHE DIDN'T TAKE
YOUR WACKY
SOUND EFFECTS
RECORD.
THAT'S NO SOUND EFFECT,
LAUNCHPAD. IT'S A SIREN.
TO THETHUNDERQUACK.
ARE YOU SURE
IT'S ALL THERE?
WE'LL FIND OUT.
SEATS?
CHECK.
CHECK.
STEERING WHEEL?
NUTS AND BOLTS?
CHECK.
GOSALYN'S
RECYCLING DIDN'T
GET THIS FAR.
TAKE HER UP.
UH, THERE'S SOMETHING
WE FORGOT TO CHECK, D.W.
THE ENGINE.
ANY IDEAS, LAUNCHPAD?
THERE'S ALWAYS
ONE WAY TO GO.
EXCUSE US. CAN WE
GET THROUGH HERE?
IS THERE A SEAT?
THIS IS NO WAY
TO TRAVEL.
WHAT IF SOMEBODY
SEES ME?
DON'T WORRY, D.W.
WHO'D EVER THINK
DARKWING DUCK
WOULD TAKE A BUS?
HEY, ISN'T THAT THE,
UH, DARKWING DUCK GUY?
LET ME SEE.
HE WAS ON TV.
YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.
FAME IS SUCH A BURDEN.
LET THAT BE A LESSON
TO YOU, YOUNG MAN.
UH, SORRY, MA'AM.
THE WORST PART
OF PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION
IS THE PUBLIC.
LOOK.
MAYBE IT'S A TEST
FOR A NEW CLEANER.
BEFORE AND AFTER.
SOMEONE'S STEALING GLUE,
FERTILIZER, AND MOTOR OIL.
MUST BE THE WORK
OF THE GRUESOME TWOSOME.
YOU RANG?
HA HA HA!
TIME TO COLLECT
THE GARBAGE.
YOU CAN NEVER HAVE
TOO MUCH GARBAGE.
DESIST, EVILDOERS,
OR I'LL STOP YOU
WITH MY...
WITH MY...
HAND?
HI, DAD, WHAT'S UP?
OH, GOS, NOTHING,
HONEY, I JUST--
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.
WHEN I
SAID CLEAN UP,
I DIDN'T MEAN
CLEAN ME OUT.
WHAT'S A SUPERHERO
WITHOUT
THE SUPERHERO STUFF?
BUT LOOK
AT ALL THE MONEY
I MADE RECYCLING.
YEAH. WE'VE ALREADY
MADE $1.57.
THAT'S ALL YOU GOT
FOR THE BEST
CRIME-FIGHTING
EQUIPMENT?
WELL, IT WAS USED.
I WANT
MY STUFF BACK--
ALL OF
MY STUFF BACK. NOW.
UH, NO PROBLEMO.
SO MUCH FOR THE
FREE ENTERPRISE SYSTEM.
COME ON, HONKER.
THAT'S THE KIND
OF DECISIVE THINKING
THAT GOT ME
WHERE I AM TODAY.
THE BUS STOP?
OH!
THIS CASE
HAS ME BAFFLED.
STOLEN DIAMOND,
RUBBER HOSES,
FERTILIZER, GLUE,
AND MOTOR OIL.
WHAT DO THEY
HAVE IN COMMON?
THEY'RE ALL
AT THE DUMP.
SO IS EVERYTHING.
NO. I MEANT
THEY'RE AT THE DUMP.
THE DUMP! GOSALYN'S
IN BIG TROUBLE.
I DON'T BELIEVE
THIS GUY.
SORRY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK,
SIS?
SPITTIN' IMAGE, SIS.
[SPITTING]
NOW LET'S TRASH
THIS BERG.
JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.
I'M CLEANING UP
AFTER YOU.
NOW LET'S TURN IT UP
JUST A TAD.
GUESS WE FOUND THAT,
UH, LADLE.
WELL, SO LONG.
WHOA!
AW, LOOK WHO GOT
ALL ICKY STICKY.
MAMA GONNA
CLEAN YOU ALL UP.
PERMANENTLY.
HARRUMPH! I'D LIKE
TO SEE YOU TRY.
SURE. WHY DON'T YOU JUST
STICK AROUND AND WATCH?
ACTUALLY, I'M
A LITTLE PRESSED
FOR TIME.
HEH HEH HEH!
FUNNY YOU
SHOULD MENTION THAT.
OOH!
COME ON.
YOU WON'T GET AWAY
WITH THIS.
BUT I'LL GET AWAY
WITH THIS. YA-HA!
WHAT A TEAM!
AAH! MY BUS TOKEN!
IN A FEW SECONDS,
WE'LL BE BUS TOKENS.
WELL, SO LONG, D.W.,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
TO SAY.
SPATULA.
SPATULA TO YOU, TOO,
OLD BUDDY.
HUH?
I MEAN WE STILL
HAVE A CHANCE
IF I COULD REACH
THIS SPATULA.
HOORAY
FOR DARKWING DUCK.
WAY TO GO, DARKWING.
YOU'RE
A COOL CUSTOMER, D.W.
IT'S OVER,
AND IT WAS EASY.
THAT'S THE KIND
OF EGG I AM.
TWO EGGS OVER EASY
COMING RIGHT UP.
HEY, THOSE SISTERS
MADE A CLEAN GETAWAY.
NOT EXACTLY CLEAN
AND NOT EXACTLY
A GETAWAY.
TO THERATCATCHER--
I MEAN THUNDERQUACK.
TO THE--
TO WHAT?
STILL MAD ABOUT
THE RECYCLING THING?
NO. I ENJOY
BEING IN A DUMP
WITH NO WEAPONS
WHILE
TWO VILLAINS
WORK THEIR WAYS
ON ST. CANARD.
WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE
FOR THE OLDTHUNDERQUACK
OR THERATCATCHER
OR ANY OF OUR STUFF.
HEY, ISN'T THIS
THE HANDLEBAR
OF THERATCATCHER?
AND HERE'S
A SWITCH.
AND AN ANTENNA...
AN INSTRUMENT LIGHT.
I FOUND YOUR GAS GUN,
MR. DARKWING, SIR.
O.K., NOW
WE'RE TALKING.
UM, SOME ASSEMBLY
REQUIRED.
SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED.
THAT'S IT. HA HA!
THEY CAN SNAP
JUST LIKE THAT.
I DON'T NEED
A HIGH-TECH ARSENAL.
I'VE GOT
ALL I NEED RIGHT HERE.
BUT HE MAY NOT HAVE
ALL HE NEEDS
RIGHT HERE.
I'LL CALL IT
THENUTQUACKER.
HOW SWEET.
D.W., YOU SURE
THIS THING'S
GOING TO WORK?
NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.
IT'S A WORKING TANK.
[SPUTTERING]
THE ANODIZER
MUST BE DISRUPTING
THE IGNITION CATHETER...
OR IT HAS NO POWER.
THAT'S TOO DANGEROUS
FOR A CHILD.
AND A FEW ADULTS.
NOW, LET'S
GET DANGEROUS.
NOW FOR A LITTLE
TARGET PRACTICE.
YECCHH!
YOU DISGUST ME.
YOUR TROUBLE IS
YOU'RE A NEAT FREAK.
CLEAN THIS.
BAG THAT.
BAG YOUR FACE.
WE'LL BE DOING
THE BAGGING
AROUND HERE,
YOU DIRT BAGS.
THANKS. I'LL RETURN
THE COMPLIMENT.
IS THAT THE BEST
YOU CAN DO?
O.K., FORGET
WHAT I SAID.
FIRE AT WILL.
AYE, AYE, CAP'N.
AAH! DISHWASHING LIQUID.
NO FAIR.
SO MUCH
FOR THE DUCHESS OF DIRT.
I'M THE QUEEN OF CLEAN.
FIRE ONE. UH, FIRE TWO.
FIRE ANYTHING.
LOOKS LIKE
YOUR VACUUMING DAYS
ARE OVER, SIS.
DON'T LAUGH AT ME,
YOU OVERGROWN
LINTBALL.
AAH! I'VE BEEN CLEANED.
NO! I'VE BEEN GUNKED.
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
I'VE BEEN WAITING YEARS
FOR THIS. EVER SINCE
WE WERE KIDS.
I'VE WAITED
TO DO THIS.
I'VE WAITED
TO DO THIS.
WELL, YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO DO IT.
EVIL SISTERS WHO HATE DIRT
AND LOVE DIRT
WHO ARE GOING TO JAIL
ON THE NEXTQUACKALDO.
THERE. IT'S ALL BACK.
LIKE I PROMISED.
WELL, GOS, I WANTED
TO GIVE YOU THIS, BUT--
MEGABLASTERS OF DEATH?
OH, KEEN GEAR.
AREN'T YOU
FORGETTING SOMETHING?
OH, YEAH.
THANKS, DAD.
THANKS, BUT
THAT WASN'T
WHAT I MEANT.
OH, NO!
RECYCLED. ONE TV SET.
OHH...
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
INCREDIBLE!
TA-DA!
ABSOLUTELY
UNBELIEVABLE!
YOU PROMISED ME ANY TOY
FOR CLEANING MY ROOM.
YES, BUT I NEVER THOUGHT
IT WOULD HAPPEN.
ORDERING ONE
MEGABLASTING MUTANTS
OF DEATH VIDEO GAME.
I'M PROUD OF YOU,
GOSALYN.
AAH! NO, DAD, DON'T!
DON'T WHAT, HONEY?
SO, YOU CLEANED
YOUR ROOM, HUH?
UH...OF COURSE I MAY HAVE
MISSED A FEW SPOTS.
THERE WILL BE NO MUTANTS
MEGABLASTING
UNTIL THIS ROOM
IS CLEAN.
[DOOR SLAMS]
IT WAS WORTH TRYING.
DIDN'T I JUST DO THIS
A YEAR OR TWO AGO?
GOSALYN'S ROOM!
SOMETHING TERRIBLE
IS HAPPENIN'!
WE GOTTA SAVE HER.
WE GONNA GET DANGEROUS?
NO NEED, LAUNCHPAD.
GOSALYN'S
CLEANING HER ROOM.
IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT.
SHE'S BEEN BRAINWASHED.
[BEEPING]
HA HA HA!
MAKE MY DAY, LINTBALL.
AMMONIA PINE--
WHEN CLEAN ISN'T ENOUGH.
YECCH! TIME FOR THIS BABY
TO SUCK SUDS.
WILL YOU STOP THAT,
AMMONIA?
OH!
F.O.W.L. HIGH COMMAND.
I THOUGHT
YOU WERE SMUDGES.
OH, DEAR.
DUE TO A SLIGHT F.O.W.L.
CASH-FLOW DEFICIENCY,
YOU ARE TO IMPLEMENT
EMERGENCY EXTORTION
PLAN 23B.
23B!
23B! OH, GOODY!
I'M SO...
I WONDER WHAT IT IS.
AHEM.
BECAUSE
OF THE IMPORTANCE
OF E.E.P. 23B,
YOU'LL BE WORKING
WITH A PARTNER.
WAIT. NO, HOLD IT!
I WORK ALONE.
NOT ANYMORE YOU DON'T,
HONEY.
OH, NO!
THEY COULDN'T.
THEY WOULDN'T.
THEY DIDN'T!
THEY SURE DID,
YOU OVERGROWN MOP.
AMPLE GRIME!
IS IT REALLY YOU?
WELL, IT AIN'T
THE DEPARTMENT
OF SANITATION.
SISTER!
SISTER!
[CRYING]
YECCH!
YOUR GUNK DIRTIED UP
MY UNIFORM.
YOUR UNIFORM
CLEANED OFF MY GUNK.
THERE.
THAT WASN'T SO HARD.
COME IN.
OOPS.
SORRY.
OHH...
THAT'S O.K., HONK.
YOU CAN TAKE OUT
THE GARBAGE.
YOU MEAN ALL THIS?
NO, SILLY.
I'M KEEPIN' THIS.
I MEANT THAT.
WOW. YOU OUGHTA
CONSIDER RECYCLING
SOME OF THIS STUFF.
NEVER! THIS STUFF HAS
REAL SENTIMENTAL VALUE.
THIS WAS MY FIRST
KOO KOO KOLA CAN.
A REAL COLLECTIBLE.
WELL, O.K., GOS,
BUT RECYCLING CENTERS
DO PAY FAIRLY WELL.
MONEY?
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?
DRINK UP, HONKER!
WE ONLY NEED $48.23
TO BUY MEGABLASTERS.
[AMMONIA]
OH, SO THAT'S PLAN 23B.
ACTUALLY,
I THINK IT'S PISTACHIO.
I'M TRYING TO
KEEP THIS PLACE CLEAN.
HOW DOES THIS THING WORK
ANYWAY?
FIRST, MY SUPER
GUNK-A-MATIC SPRAY
DOES ITS THING.
[AMPLE]
THEN THE FUN'S OVER.
YOU MEAN THE FUN BEGINS.
A SIMPLE FLIP OF A SWITCH
AND BINGO!
[AMMONIA]
THE CLEAN MACHINE
EXTRACTOR BEAM
SUCKS UP EVERY CENT
IN ST. CANARD!
HA HA HA!
I CAN'T WAIT
TO BUILD IT!
YOU? I'M JUST ITCHIN'
TO GET AT IT.
LAST ONE AT
THE RUBBER FACTORY
IS A DIRTY BIRD!
I'M GONNA GET YOU
FOR THAT ONE.
AND STOP MAKING
SUCH A MESS!
HONK,
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
WE'VE GOT
20 CASES TO GO.
[BURPS]
GROSS!
[BURPS]
CAN I DO THAT?
[BURPS]
[ALARM]
NEVER MIND
THE KOO KOO KOLA.
THAT'S MY DARKWING
REMOTE ALARM TERMINAL.
MY NEW AND IMPROVED
D.R.A.T.
WILL PINPOINT ANY CRIME
IN ST. CANARD.
AHA! ACCORDING
TO THIS READOUT,
THERE IS
DEFINITELY A BREAK-IN
AT THE RUBBER WORKS...
OR AT THE MOUSETRAP
FACTORY.
TH-TH-THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
O.K. IT STILL HAS
BUGS IN IT.
[AMPLE]
I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE'RE FINALLY
WORKING TOGETHER.
OH, I BELIEVE IT.
YECCH!
YOU COULDN'T BE
MORE DISGUSTING!
WANNA BET?
[FARTING SOUNDS]
OH, NO!
BOY, YOU'RE NO FUN.
NOT YOU.
TH-TH-THAT!
I AM THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I AM THE RASPBERRY SEED
YOU CAN'T FLOSS OUT.
I...
WE SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE TO
THE MOUSETRAP FACTORY FIRST.
TIME TO WRAP IT UP,
DARKMEAT DUCK.
OH, NO.
LEFTOVERS AGAIN.
NOW IT'S GRIME TIME.
MY CAPE!
YOU'LL GET MY CLEANING BILL,
YOU WALKING TAR PIT!
WATCH WHAT YOU
CALL MY SISTER.
SISTER?
SISTER?
YOU SEE
THE FAMILY RESEMBLANCE?
FAMILIES THAT
PULL THE CRIME
TOGETHER,
DO THE TIME
TOGETHER.
ALLOW ME, SIS.
SIC 'EM, BOYS!
OOH, ANYTHING BUT
LITTLE BLACK DOTS.
YOU THINK YOU COULD
STOP ME WITH--
WHAT ARE THEY?
JUST MY PET LICE.
A LITTLE TO THE LEFT.
HARDER!
I JUST CAN'T FIGURE IT.
WHY STEAL
TWO GIANT HOSES?
THEY'LL SIPHON OFF
ST. CANARD'S OIL SUPPLY.
NO MOTIVE.
SPEW TOXIC WASTE
INTO THE RESERVOIR?
NO PROFIT.
DRINK EVERY
BOTTLE OF SODA
IN ST. CANARD?
NO...DEPOSIT.
HOW 'BOUT THIS?
THEY'RE GONNA CREATE
AN ARMY OF GIANT
BLOODTHIRSTY
HOSE MONSTERS.
HMM...BEEN DONE.
HOW'S THE RECYCLING
GOIN', KIDS?
THE EXCHANGE RATE ON TRASH
IS LOWER THAN I EXPECTED,
AND WE'RE OUT OF STUFF.
DAD, CAN I RECYCLE
SOME JUNKY THINGS
OF YOURS?
SURE, HONEY.
NOW, WHERE WERE WE?
O.K. THEY'RE BUILDING
A GIANT MACHINE
TO GLUE EVERYONE
TO THE GROUND,
WHILE THEY VACUUM THEM
TO ROB THEM BLIND.
[DARKWING]
NAH! TOO PREDICTABLE.
THE RATCATCHER?
YOUR DAD'LL
HAVE A FIT.
DRAT! IT'S THE D.R.A.T.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHERE IS EVERYTHING?
KRYM--ALL CRIME,
ALL THE TIME.
THIS JUST IN--
A BREAK-IN AT THE MUSEUM
OF REALLY EXPENSIVE THINGS.
O.K. LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
WHERE'S THE STATUE?
NOW I KNOW
SOMETHING'S GOING ON.
UH, WHAT WAS
YOUR FIRST CLUE, D.W.?
WHAT THE DEVIL IS
GOING ON AROUND HERE?
ELVES? POSSIBLY
REALLY LARGE MICE?
NEVER MIND.
TO THE QUACKCYCLE!
RIGHT! TO THE...
QUACKCYCLE?
OH.
THIS QUACKCYCLE.
[AMMONIA]
REALLY, AMPLE. YOU HAVE
NO RESPECT FOR BEAUTY.
WHO SEZ?
I AM THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I AM THE SQUEAKY BRAKES
THAT--OH, NUTS.
[LAUNCHPAD]
GEE, I GUESS THE QUACKCYCLE
DOESN'T HAVE BRAKES.
I NOTICED.
SUCK GAS, EVILDOERS!
"ONE RECYCLED GAS GUN."
WHAT CITIZENSHIP, D.W.
RECYCLING
YOUR ONLY GAS GUN.
IT'S NOT ME,
IT'S GOSALYN.
SHE'S RECYCLING
EVERYTHING.
I NEED TO TALK
TO THAT GIRL.
WELL, CHARADES ARE OVER.
NOW LET'S PLAY CLEAN UP!
WHAT A TEAM!
GROSS!
EWW!
UH, D.W., YOU GO FOR
THIS MODERN ART?
I NEVER
GOT THE POINT.
YOU WILL!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
SORRY, D.W.
DON'T MOVE.
NO WAY, D.W.
I WON'T MOVE A MUSCLE.
AAH!
WOW! NOW THAT'S
WHAT I CALL ART.
WE'VE BEEN ROBBED.
"RECYCLED.
ONE SUPER COMPUTER."
"RECYCLED.
ONE CHEMISTRY LAB."
"RECYCLED.
ONE COMIC BOOK COLLECTION"
THAT'S THE LAST STRAW.
OH, GOSALYN!
WAIT UNTIL I--
SHE'S GONNA--
OH! I'LL RECYCLE HER!
AT LEAST
SHE DIDN'T TAKE
YOUR WACKY
SOUND EFFECTS
RECORD.
THAT'S NO SOUND EFFECT,
LAUNCHPAD. IT'S A SIREN.
TO THETHUNDERQUACK.
ARE YOU SURE
IT'S ALL THERE?
WE'LL FIND OUT.
SEATS?
CHECK.
CHECK.
STEERING WHEEL?
NUTS AND BOLTS?
CHECK.
GOSALYN'S
RECYCLING DIDN'T
GET THIS FAR.
TAKE HER UP.
UH, THERE'S SOMETHING
WE FORGOT TO CHECK, D.W.
THE ENGINE.
ANY IDEAS, LAUNCHPAD?
THERE'S ALWAYS
ONE WAY TO GO.
EXCUSE US. CAN WE
GET THROUGH HERE?
IS THERE A SEAT?
THIS IS NO WAY
TO TRAVEL.
WHAT IF SOMEBODY
SEES ME?
DON'T WORRY, D.W.
WHO'D EVER THINK
DARKWING DUCK
WOULD TAKE A BUS?
HEY, ISN'T THAT THE,
UH, DARKWING DUCK GUY?
LET ME SEE.
HE WAS ON TV.
YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.
FAME IS SUCH A BURDEN.
LET THAT BE A LESSON
TO YOU, YOUNG MAN.
UH, SORRY, MA'AM.
THE WORST PART
OF PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION
IS THE PUBLIC.
LOOK.
MAYBE IT'S A TEST
FOR A NEW CLEANER.
BEFORE AND AFTER.
SOMEONE'S STEALING GLUE,
FERTILIZER, AND MOTOR OIL.
MUST BE THE WORK
OF THE GRUESOME TWOSOME.
YOU RANG?
HA HA HA!
TIME TO COLLECT
THE GARBAGE.
YOU CAN NEVER HAVE
TOO MUCH GARBAGE.
DESIST, EVILDOERS,
OR I'LL STOP YOU
WITH MY...
WITH MY...
HAND?
HI, DAD, WHAT'S UP?
OH, GOS, NOTHING,
HONEY, I JUST--
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.
WHEN I
SAID CLEAN UP,
I DIDN'T MEAN
CLEAN ME OUT.
WHAT'S A SUPERHERO
WITHOUT
THE SUPERHERO STUFF?
BUT LOOK
AT ALL THE MONEY
I MADE RECYCLING.
YEAH. WE'VE ALREADY
MADE $1.57.
THAT'S ALL YOU GOT
FOR THE BEST
CRIME-FIGHTING
EQUIPMENT?
WELL, IT WAS USED.
I WANT
MY STUFF BACK--
ALL OF
MY STUFF BACK. NOW.
UH, NO PROBLEMO.
SO MUCH FOR THE
FREE ENTERPRISE SYSTEM.
COME ON, HONKER.
THAT'S THE KIND
OF DECISIVE THINKING
THAT GOT ME
WHERE I AM TODAY.
THE BUS STOP?
OH!
THIS CASE
HAS ME BAFFLED.
STOLEN DIAMOND,
RUBBER HOSES,
FERTILIZER, GLUE,
AND MOTOR OIL.
WHAT DO THEY
HAVE IN COMMON?
THEY'RE ALL
AT THE DUMP.
SO IS EVERYTHING.
NO. I MEANT
THEY'RE AT THE DUMP.
THE DUMP! GOSALYN'S
IN BIG TROUBLE.
I DON'T BELIEVE
THIS GUY.
SORRY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK,
SIS?
SPITTIN' IMAGE, SIS.
[SPITTING]
NOW LET'S TRASH
THIS BERG.
JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.
I'M CLEANING UP
AFTER YOU.
NOW LET'S TURN IT UP
JUST A TAD.
GUESS WE FOUND THAT,
UH, LADLE.
WELL, SO LONG.
WHOA!
AW, LOOK WHO GOT
ALL ICKY STICKY.
MAMA GONNA
CLEAN YOU ALL UP.
PERMANENTLY.
HARRUMPH! I'D LIKE
TO SEE YOU TRY.
SURE. WHY DON'T YOU JUST
STICK AROUND AND WATCH?
ACTUALLY, I'M
A LITTLE PRESSED
FOR TIME.
HEH HEH HEH!
FUNNY YOU
SHOULD MENTION THAT.
OOH!
COME ON.
YOU WON'T GET AWAY
WITH THIS.
BUT I'LL GET AWAY
WITH THIS. YA-HA!
WHAT A TEAM!
AAH! MY BUS TOKEN!
IN A FEW SECONDS,
WE'LL BE BUS TOKENS.
WELL, SO LONG, D.W.,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
TO SAY.
SPATULA.
SPATULA TO YOU, TOO,
OLD BUDDY.
HUH?
I MEAN WE STILL
HAVE A CHANCE
IF I COULD REACH
THIS SPATULA.
HOORAY
FOR DARKWING DUCK.
WAY TO GO, DARKWING.
YOU'RE
A COOL CUSTOMER, D.W.
IT'S OVER,
AND IT WAS EASY.
THAT'S THE KIND
OF EGG I AM.
TWO EGGS OVER EASY
COMING RIGHT UP.
HEY, THOSE SISTERS
MADE A CLEAN GETAWAY.
NOT EXACTLY CLEAN
AND NOT EXACTLY
A GETAWAY.
TO THERATCATCHER--
I MEAN THUNDERQUACK.
TO THE--
TO WHAT?
STILL MAD ABOUT
THE RECYCLING THING?
NO. I ENJOY
BEING IN A DUMP
WITH NO WEAPONS
WHILE
TWO VILLAINS
WORK THEIR WAYS
ON ST. CANARD.
WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE
FOR THE OLDTHUNDERQUACK
OR THERATCATCHER
OR ANY OF OUR STUFF.
HEY, ISN'T THIS
THE HANDLEBAR
OF THERATCATCHER?
AND HERE'S
A SWITCH.
AND AN ANTENNA...
AN INSTRUMENT LIGHT.
I FOUND YOUR GAS GUN,
MR. DARKWING, SIR.
O.K., NOW
WE'RE TALKING.
UM, SOME ASSEMBLY
REQUIRED.
SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED.
THAT'S IT. HA HA!
THEY CAN SNAP
JUST LIKE THAT.
I DON'T NEED
A HIGH-TECH ARSENAL.
I'VE GOT
ALL I NEED RIGHT HERE.
BUT HE MAY NOT HAVE
ALL HE NEEDS
RIGHT HERE.
I'LL CALL IT
THENUTQUACKER.
HOW SWEET.
D.W., YOU SURE
THIS THING'S
GOING TO WORK?
NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.
IT'S A WORKING TANK.
[SPUTTERING]
THE ANODIZER
MUST BE DISRUPTING
THE IGNITION CATHETER...
OR IT HAS NO POWER.
THAT'S TOO DANGEROUS
FOR A CHILD.
AND A FEW ADULTS.
NOW, LET'S
GET DANGEROUS.
NOW FOR A LITTLE
TARGET PRACTICE.
YECCHH!
YOU DISGUST ME.
YOUR TROUBLE IS
YOU'RE A NEAT FREAK.
CLEAN THIS.
BAG THAT.
BAG YOUR FACE.
WE'LL BE DOING
THE BAGGING
AROUND HERE,
YOU DIRT BAGS.
THANKS. I'LL RETURN
THE COMPLIMENT.
IS THAT THE BEST
YOU CAN DO?
O.K., FORGET
WHAT I SAID.
FIRE AT WILL.
AYE, AYE, CAP'N.
AAH! DISHWASHING LIQUID.
NO FAIR.
SO MUCH
FOR THE DUCHESS OF DIRT.
I'M THE QUEEN OF CLEAN.
FIRE ONE. UH, FIRE TWO.
FIRE ANYTHING.
LOOKS LIKE
YOUR VACUUMING DAYS
ARE OVER, SIS.
DON'T LAUGH AT ME,
YOU OVERGROWN
LINTBALL.
AAH! I'VE BEEN CLEANED.
NO! I'VE BEEN GUNKED.
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
I'VE BEEN WAITING YEARS
FOR THIS. EVER SINCE
WE WERE KIDS.
I'VE WAITED
TO DO THIS.
I'VE WAITED
TO DO THIS.
WELL, YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO DO IT.
EVIL SISTERS WHO HATE DIRT
AND LOVE DIRT
WHO ARE GOING TO JAIL
ON THE NEXTQUACKALDO.
THERE. IT'S ALL BACK.
LIKE I PROMISED.
WELL, GOS, I WANTED
TO GIVE YOU THIS, BUT--
MEGABLASTERS OF DEATH?
OH, KEEN GEAR.
AREN'T YOU
FORGETTING SOMETHING?
OH, YEAH.
THANKS, DAD.
THANKS, BUT
THAT WASN'T
WHAT I MEANT.
OH, NO!
RECYCLED. ONE TV SET.
OHH...