Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 1, Episode 60 - A Star Is Scorned - full transcript
♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
WHAT'S THE HURRY?
IS IT AN EMERGENCY
CALL FROM S.C.U.S.H.?
NOTHING SO TRIVIAL.
THEN WHAT? MEETING
WITH A CRIME BOSS?
CORNERING A
BLOOD-SUCKING ALIEN?
CLOSE. I HAVE A MEETING
WITH MY TV PRODUCER.
GOOD AFTERNOON,
MR. DUCK.
ALWAYS A THRILL WHEN STARS
VISIT DIZZY STUDIOS.
GLAD I COULD MAKE
YOUR DAY, CITIZEN.
BUT HOW COME YOU'RE NOT
WEARING YOUR SAILOR SUIT?
I BELIEVE YOU HAVE
THE WRONG DUCK.
REALLY? I THOUGHT YOU WERE--
COME ON, DADDY. THE
SECURITY GUARD
PROBABLY DOESN'T
GET TO WATCH TV.
WELL, A NORMAL PERSON SHOULD
RECOGNIZE A STAR WHEN THEY
SEE ONE.
LOOK. THERE'S A
REAL STAR!
SEE?
CAN I HAVE YOUR
AUTOGRAPH?
YOU'RE A ROLE MODEL FOR
WOMEN EVERYWHERE.
I NEVER DREAMED
I WOULD ACTUALLY
MEET YOU.
HUH HUH HUH.
COULD I HAVE
YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
WE REALLY LOVE WATCHING
YOUR ADVENTURES.
WELL, IF I CAN BRING A LITTLE
PLEASURE INTO YOUR LIVES...
MUST BE NICE TO GET
OUT OF THAT SAILOR
SUIT, HUH?
I WANT A BIGGER
PUBLICITY BUDGET
AND I WANT IT NOW!
NOBODY
RECOGNIZED ME.
AH, DARKWING! BABE!
OF COURSE THEY
RECOGNIZE YOU,
THEY'RE JUST NERVOUS
IN THE PRESENCE OF
GREATNESS.
YEAH?
OH, BROTHER.
SO, LET ME GUESS--
YOU WANT TO SIGN ME FOR
SOME NEW EPISODES.
WELL, HERE'S
WHAT I WANT--
ONE-- A MUCH BIGGER
DRESSING ROOM.
TWO-- A PERSONAL
MASSEUSE.
THREE-- MY OWN
POPCORN MAKER---
ACTUALLY, THE AUDIENCE IS
SICK OF DARKWING DUCK.
FOUR-- I WANT A..GAAA...A
HEART AND LUNG MACHINE.
DAD! ARE YOU OK?
OK, OK, SO MAYBE THAT'S
PUTTING IT A LITTLE
STRONGLY.
WE FEEL THE SHOW
NEEDS A NEW GIMMICK.
LIKE A SPIN-OFF CHARACTER.
NOW YOU'RE TALKING--
I SEE ME IN AN
ACTION ADVENTURE.
LOT'S OF CAR CHASES
AND EXPLOSIONS.
BR-R-R-R-R!
OR MAYBE WE PLAY THE
FANTASY ANGLE.
THEY KILLED HER FRIENDS AND
STOLE HER DAD'S SOUL.
THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL.
GOSALYN MALLARD,
ZOMBIE SLAYER!
SO WHEN DO MY PEOPLE
CALL YOUR PEOPLE?
SORRY, KIDDO. NOBODY WANTS A
LITTLE GIRL FOR A STAR.
WHAT?!
EXCEPT ME.
I LOVE THE IDEA.
WE'RE ALREADY WORKING ON IT.
JUST WAITING FOR
THE REWRITES.
IT'S JUST, AH, THAT WE
ALREADY HAVE SOMEONE IN MIND
TO HELP THIS SERIES.
CROSBY, BRING IN OUR GUEST.
YES, SIR,
MR. ROCKWELL.
THIS GUY IS JUST WHAT
YOUR SHOW NEEDS.
HI, EVERYBODY.
NOT YOU!
BUSHROOT?
STAY BACK! A LITTLE
WEED KILLER AND HE
IS COW FOOD.
HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU
POINT THAT THING!
YOU'RE COMPOST NOW. HEY!
CHILL OUT A SEC,
WINGSTER.
BUSHROOT IS YOUR
NEW GIMMICK.
MR. ROCKWELL SAYS I'LL BRING
IN A WHOLE NEW AUDIENCE.
OF WHAT? CABBAGE PATCH KIDS.
DON'T THINK PLANT.
THINK MUTANT.
MUTANTS WATCH TV?
MUTANTS ARE ALL
OVER THE PLACE--
COMIC BOOKS, TELEVISION, MOVIES.
SAY, BUSHROOT, DO YOU KNOW ANY
OF THAT NINJA CHOP SAKI STUFF?
IS THAT LIKE CHOW MEIN
OR SOMETHING?
LET'S GO GOSALYN.
I'M NOT TURNING
OVER MY SHOW
TO SOME AMBULATING EGGPLANT
WITH DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR.
DID YOU FORGET, DARKWING?
YOU'RE UNDER CONTRACT.
BETTER READ THE
FINE PRINT.
IT'S ALL FINE PRINT AND
I'VE READ EVERY WORD.
I BET YOU MISSED
THE EDGE.
THE EDGE?
"WE HOLD THIS TRUTH
SELF-EVIDENT
THAT THE STUDIO IS
ALWAYS RIGHT."
PERFECT.
THAT'S THE
SPIRIT, DARK.
CROSBY, THE
SCRIPTS.
YES, SIR, MR. ROCKWELL.
RIGHT AWAY.
WE TOOK SOME OF YOUR RECENT
ADVENTURES AND TRIED 'EM IN
A DIFFERENT FORMAT--
ACTION, COMEDY, GAME SHOW,
THAT SORT OF THING.
GAME SHOW?
HEY, D.W., JUST TRYING TO PUT
THE BEST SPIN ON YOUR SERIES.
GO OUT THERE AND
BREAK A LEG.
DON'T TEMPT ME.
BUT MY TALENTS ARE PERFECT
FOR LIVE-ACTION FILMS,
NOT BABYSITTING A BUNCH
OF BARNYARD REFUGEES.
OH, YES, SIR.
OF COURSE NOT, MR. DIZZY.
I DON'T MEAN TO IMPLY--
ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING WITHOUT YOU.
YES, SIR.
BOY, CAN HE BE CRANKY.
CROSBY! WHERE ARE
THOSE VIDEO TAPES?
RIGHT HERE, SIR.
GOOD BOY.
ONCE BUSHROOT'S THE
STAR OF THE SHOW
I CAN PAY HIM IN
PLANT FERTILIZER,
AND KEEP THE BIG
BUCKS FOR MYSELF.
AND ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS
DUMP DARKWING DUCK.
ALL RIGHT,
CROSBY, ROLL IT.
BOY, HOWDY!
WE'LL HAVE THIS MOUNTAIN
FLATTENED IN NO TIME AT ALL.
AIN'T PROGRESS WONDERFUL?
JUST LOOK AT THOSE BEAUTIES.
YEAH, THIS MOUNTAIN WILL
BE WALL-TO-WALL CONDOS.
AS SOON AS WE CAN GET THOSE
TREES OUT OF THE WAY.
AND DON'T FORGET
THE MINI-MALLS
WITH JUST OODLES OF
DRESS SHOPS, SHOE
STORES,
AND COOKING
BOUTIQUES.
YOU AIN'T WAITIN' ON ME.
I AM THE IVY THAT
CLOGS YOUR PIPES.
I AM THE TAP ROOT THAT
CLOGS YOUR PIPES.
I AM BUSHROOT.
ACHOO! I GOT HAY FEVER
SOMETHING AWFUL.
YOU'LL HAVE WORSE
THAN THAT IF YOU
TRAMPLE MY TREES.
THIS ISN'T JUST A FOREST,
THESE ARE MY FRIENDS.
BUT WE FOLLOWED ALL
PROPER PROCEDURES,
INCLUDING AN
ENVIRONMENTAL
IMPACT REPORT.
BUT THIS SAYS THE
ENVIRONMENT WILL BE RUINED.
WELL...YES, BUT
THE POINT IS
WE FILED THE
REPORT ON TIME.
SO IF YOU'LL KINDLY
STAND ASIDE, FELLOW...
ALL RIGHT, LET'S
GET DECIDUOUS.
YOO-HOOO-HOOO-HOOO!
WHOA! I GUESS THAT'S ONE
WAY TO GET A PARKING SPOT.
I AM THE TERROR THAT
FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I AM THE SLUG THAT
SLIMES YOUR PETUNIAS.
I AM...
HERB MUDDLEFOOT CAST AS
A CONSTRUCTION WORKER?
NO, ACTUALLY,
THAT'S MY PART.
YES. AND I'M A HIGH-POWERED,
MONEY-GRUBBING LAND DEVELOPER
WITH ABSOLUTELY NO REDEEMING
VALUES WHATSOEVER.
IT'S A STRETCH, BUT
WE FIGURED IT WAS A
GOOD CAREER MOVE.
BESIDES, WE REALLY
DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE.
LET ME GUESS--
SOMETHING ON THE EDGE OF
YOUR CONTRACT?
WELL, MY JOB IS
STILL THE SAME--
TO TURN THIS ANTISOCIAL
ARTICHOKE INTO COLE SLAW.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S
ANTISOCIAL.
I'M PROTECTING THE
ENVIRONMENT.
OH, YEAH? WELL, I'M--
YOU-- YOU CAN'T GO
AROUND BREAKING THE LAW.
AND WE HAVE BUILDING
PERMITS AND THAT
MAKES US RIGHT.
YEAH...SORT OF.
TAKE HIM
DOWN, BOYS!
NO, NO, NO!
WE HAVE TO DRAW IN
A NEW AUDIENCE
TO INCREASE OUR RATINGS.
YES, SIR, MR. ROCKWELL.
THIS TAPE'S DESIGNED TO
ATTRACT A YOUNGER TARGET
GROUP.
HEY, KIDS!
WHAT TIME IS IT?
Kids:
IT'S BUSHROOT TIME!
YEA!
YEA!
YEA!
YEA!
THEN LET'S GET STARTED, OK?
SAY, WHERE ARE MY
FLOWER FRIENDS?
OH, THERE THEY ARE--
FARMER BINKEY AND
MR. MUDDLEFOOT.
OH, TELL ME, WHO'S GOING TO BE
MY BLOSSOM BUDDIES FOR TODAY?
WHY, TWO OF OUR
FINEST FERNS--
GOSALYN MALLARD AND
HONKER MUDDLEFOOT.
YEA!
YEA!
YEA!
YOU TWO KNOW
WHAT TO DO.
WHEN WE HEAR THE
SECRET WORD
"AARDVARK"
WE LET 'EM HAVE IT.
THEN IT'S TIME FOR PUPPET
ADVENTURE THEATRE. YEA!
REMEMBER, LAST TIME, THE
EVIL MYSTERY DUCK WAS TRYING
TO STOP ME FROM
SAVING THE FOREST.
GAA! CAA! GAA-GAA!
I HATE TREATING A
PINE CONE LIKE THIS,
BUT YOU SHOULDN'T
TRY TO STOP ME.
YOU'RE A VILLAIN, EVEN IF IT
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE NOT.
SURRENDER, DOROTHY--
I MEAN, BUSHROOT.
HELP ME, MY LEAFY FRIENDS.
DO NOT HURT OUR
BUSHY HERO.
YEAH. HE'S ONLY
TRYING TO DO GOOD.
SOMEBODY GIVE ME A HAND HERE.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT
FOR THE SECRET WORD.
GOLLY, I FORGOT
WHAT IT WAS.
IT'S AARDVARK. HOW DO YOU
FORGET A WORD LIKE--
AARDVARK.
WE DON'T WANT TO MAKE
SHOWS FOR TINY TOTS
WITH MINDLESS ENTERTAINMENT.
THEY WANT TO GO OUT
AND PLAY SOMEWHERE.
BESIDES, THEY DON'T
HAVE ANY BUYING POWER.
AUDIENCE-WISE, SIR-- ARE WE
TALKING COUCH POTATO TIME?
MASHED, BAKED, OR DEEP FRIED.
THEN I THINK I HAVE
JUST THE THING, SIR.
I CAN'T REMEMBER.
WHICH WIRE DO I CONNECT?
OH, USE THE RED
ONE, DEAR.
THAT WAY IT WON'T CLASH
WITH THE DYNAMITE.
WHEN THIS BABY GOES OFF,
THERE WON'T BE NOTHING
LEFT OF THIS FOREST
EXCEPTING TOOTHYPICKS.
[ RING ]
I'M SNARLING, CROSBY.
YOU HEAR ME?
NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT.
POINTLESS VIOLENCE. YES!
WAIT A MINUTE!
THIS ISN'T LIKE ME.
SURE IT IS. CROSBY,
WHAT'S HE DOING?
I DON'T USE GUNS.
THAT'S THE SPIRIT, BUSHROOT.
WE CAN COMPROMISE.
THE ANSWER ISN'T GUNS.
RIGHT. NOT WHILE
I HAVE TREES.
WAAAA!
OH, TREACHERY. AUDIENCES
LOVE TREACHERY.
COMPROMISE, HUH?
WHEN YOUR REAL PLAN WAS
TO BLOW MY FOREST TO
SMITHEREENS.
B.R., IF THIS IS
YOUR PILOT SHOW,
SHOULDN'T YOU BE THE ONE ON
JEOPARD AT THE END OF THE ACT?
HEY, I'M A VEGETABLE.
WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT
STORY STRUCTURE?
[ RING ]
GREAT ACTING, CROSBY!
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
AH, HE DIES.
OK. EXPLODING
DARKWING DUCK--
UPSIDE-- SUREFIRE RATINGS,
DOWNSIDE-- WE GET STICK WITH
ALL THIS MERCHANDISE.
NO. WE BETTER CONCENTRATE
ON OUR NEW STAR.
HOW DO WE DISTINGUISH
BUSHROOT FROM ALL THE OTHER
MUTANT PLANT DUCKS?
GIVE HIM A JOB?
QUIET! I'M THINKING.
I GOT IT-- WE
GIVE HIM A JOB.
HE COULD BE A LAWYER
OR A DOCTOR--
WHOA-- HAVING A
BRAINSTORM HERE.
WE'LL MAKE HIM BOTH.
DR. BUSHROOT, M.D.,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
YOUR HONOR, FOR
MY NEXT WITNESS,
AND PATIENT, I CALL THE
DEFENDANT, MR. DARKWING DUCK.
DO YOU DENY, SIR,
THAT YOU TRIED TO
BLOW UP TREES?
DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE
WHO USES EXPLOSIVES?
I INTEND TO PROVE, BEYOND A
SHADOW OF A DOUBT,
THAT THE DEFENDANT
IS KINKY FOR CONDOS.
[ COUGH ]
OH, DEAR. I DON'T LIKE THE
SOUND OF THAT COUGH.
AND I'LL TOSS IN A
FREE CHECK UP.
TAKE A DEEP BREATH
AND SAY "GUILTY."
BUT I LOVE TREES.
I DON'T WANT THEM
REPLACED BY CONDOS
OR MINI-MALLS OR CAR PARKS.
I SAID "CAR PARK."
NOT-- WOULD YOU-- WON'T
CATCH ME THIS TIME.
THAT WORD WILL NEVER
PASS MY LIPS.
WHAT WORD?
AARDVARK.
YOUR HONOR, I HAVE HERE AN
EXTREMELY RARE BUTTERFLY--
THE PURPLE SPECKED
NIT-PICKER.
WHICH IS FOUND ONLY IN THE
FOREST YOU TRIED TO DESTROY.
THAT OUGHT TO BE GOOD FOR
LIFE PLUS 20 YEAR, HUH?
OH, HERB, YOU KNOW I'M
NO GOOD WITH NUMBERS.
I'LL JUST LOCK HIM
UP FOR AN EVEN
CENTURY.
HEY, HEY, HEY, I LOVE BUGS.
I WOULDN'T STEP
ON A COCKROACH
WITHOUT CHECKING IF
IT HAD FULL MEDICAL
AND THIS POOR THING...
IS NOTHING BUT A
COUPLE OF LEAVES
STUCK TOGETHER
WITH WACKY GLUE.
OOPS.
VERY WELL, I TRIED DOING
THINGS THE LEGAL WAY,
BUT YOU WOULDN'T LET ME.
HEH HEH HEH HEH.
SO I'VE ADDED A SPECIAL
HERBAL POTION
TO THE COURT HOUSE
WATER SUPPLY.
NOW YOU FACE NOT ONLY ME,
BUT THE CURSE OF THE
MUSHROOM ZOMBIES.
WE'RE COMING FOR YOU, DARKWING.
MUSHROOM ZOMBIES? CROSBY,
WHAT IS THIS CRAZINESS?
I-I-I DON'T
KNOW, SIR.
GEE, MY PARKING
METER JUST RAN OUT.
ANYONE HAVE ANY
LOOSE CHANGE?
AFTER HIM, MY
FUNGAL FIENDS.
HE'LL NOT THREATEN
THE FOREST WHEN HE
BECOMES PART OF IT.
OH, WHY IT'S BUTTER.
COURTESY OF GOSALYN MALLARD,
ZOMBIE SLAYER.
TIME TO SAUTE SOME MUSHROOMS.
GOSALYN, WAIT TILL I GET A WAY!
WHAT IN CREATION WAS THAT?
I THINK THE LITTLE
GIRL SLIPPED
ON SOME OF HER OWN
SCRIPT PAGES.
OK, WE GOTTA GET THAT
KID SOME THERAPY.
MAYBE WE OUGHT TO LOOK AT
SOMETHING MORE UPBEAT.
HI, I'M REGINAL BUSHROOT
AND WELCOME TOEARTH OF
CONSEQUENCES.
YEA!
YEA!
THANK YOU.
OUR CONTESTANT TODAY IS THE
WELL-KNOWN ENVIRONMENTAL PEST,
DARKWING DUCK.
BOO!
BOO!
THANKS AGAIN. THIS MORAL
LEPER HAS TO MAKE A CHOICE--
WILL HE SIDE WITH THE
MONEY-GRUBBING LAND
DEVELOPERS
WITH NO REDEEMING
VALUES WHATSOEVER,
OR WITH THE SHRUBBERY OF THIS
PRISTINE UNSPOILED FOREST?
I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS.
I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE
MY RATINGS GIMMICK.
YOU THINK IT'S EASY BEING A
DEFENDER OF LAW AND JUSTICE?
IT'S HARD WORK.
I SAID HARD WORK!
HARD WORK, YOU KNOW?
HOW COULD DEFENDING
JUSTICE BE AARDVARK?
WE HAVE A WINNER--
FOR YOUR PRIZE,
DARKWING DUCK,
YOU AND YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS
WILL SHARE AN
EXCITING DEMISE
AS THE LIVING FOREST
DOES TO ST. CANARD
WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
TO THEIR HOME--
LEVEL IT TO THE GROUND!
YOU KNOW, FOR A GIMMICK,
BUSHROOT SEEMED TO HAVE
ALL THE GOOD LINES.
IS IT JUST ME OR WHAT?
I THINK THAT SLEZOID
ROCKWELL IS UP TO SOMETHING.
YOU BETTER WATCH
YOUR BACK.
NAH. HE WON'T MESS WITH ME.
I'M THE STAR OF THE SHOW.
WHO ELSE IS GOING TO
BE HIS MEAL TICKET?
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
ASK BUSHROOT.
WHAT?!
HIYA, DARKWING?
LOOK WHAT MR. ROCKWELL
SENT FOR ME.
ISN'T IT SWELL?
WHOOPS. GOTTA GO.
I HAVE A MEETING
WITH MR. DIZZY.
STEP ON IT, DRIVER.
MR. DIZZY? I NEVER HAD A
MEETING WITH MR. DIZZY.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
OPEN THIS UP!
"AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY."
THE NAME IS
DARKWING DUCK.
SORRY, YOU'RE
NOT ON THE LIST.
YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO MOVE
ALONG.
ROCKWELL IS UP TO SOMETHING.
I HAVE TO GET INSIDE.
THERE'S ONE WAY IN, BUT
YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIKE IT.
GOOD AFTERNOON, MR.
DUCK. GO RIGHT IN.
I TELL YOU, MR. DIZZY,
BUSHROOT HERE IS ONE
TALENTED MAJOR FOOD GROUP.
HE'S ALSO INCREDIBLE
VERSATILE, SIR.
UNLIKE, SAY, A
DUCK-TYPE CHARACTER.
ROCKWELL'S MAKING ME
LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.
NO CRIMINAL WILL EVER TAKE
ME SERIOUSLY AGAIN.
DAD, IN HERE.
THIS IS THE FILM OF
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.
THEN I SAY WE GIVE MR.
DIZZY A REAL SHOW.
NOT ONLY TALENTED, BUT HE
TEST THROUGH THE ROOF.
RIGHT, CROSBY?
YES, SIR. BUSHROOT'S
INDEX IS OFF THE CHARTS.
IT IS?
WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE
SECOND REEL. ROLL 'EM.
OH, YES, SIR, MR. ROCKWELL.
HEY, THAT VOICE--
HOW COULD HE...
WAY TO GO, GUYS.
NO ONE CAN STOP ST. CANARD
FROM BECOMING OUR PERSONAL
CUP OF TEA.
I AM THE TERROR THAT
FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I AM THE EDITOR THAT
LEAVES YOU ON THE
CUTTING ROOM FLOOR.
CROSBY! JUST WHAT'S
GOING ON HERE?
I-I-I DON'T KNOW, SIR.
GEE, I THOUGHT YOU WOULD
HAVE CUT OUT THIS PART.
I AM THE CLOCK CLEANER THAT
WILL RING YOUR CHIMES.
I AM DARKWING DUCK.
OOPS, SHOW'S RUNNING LONG.
TIME TO DO SOME TRIMMING.
LEAVE THOSE
LEAVES ALONE!
I'VE ONLY GOT ONE THING
TO SAY TO YOU--
AARDVARK!
HEY!
HMMM. RHUBARB.
MY FAVORITE.
HEAR THAT? ISN'T OUR
CONTESTANT A GOOD SPORT?
ALL RIGHT, YOU'LL BE
PLAYING FOR YOUR FRIENDS.
THESE MONSTROUS, IF
MISGUIDED, FOREST CONIFERS.
SO, IS IT DOOR NUMBER ONE?
DOOR NUMBER TWO?
OR DOOR NUMBER THREE?
LET'S SEE. DOOR NUMBER TWO--
NO, AH, NUMBER ONE--
AN. DEFINITELY THREE--
NO, SORRY, TWO.
SORRY, I DON'T KNOW.
DEFINITELY DOOR NUMBER TWO.
I THINK.
OK, I'M EASY. WE'LL
OPEN ALL THREE.
[ BUZZING ]
YES, IT'S YOUR VERY OWN
COLLECTION OF TERMITES AND
BARK BEETLES.
BUT I WAS ONLY TRYING TO KEEP
THE FOREST FROM BEING PAVED OVER
FOR PARKING LOTS
AND NAIL SALONS.
THAT'S ONE SHRUB'S OPINION.
WE HAVE A CALLER
ON THE LINE.
CALLER, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THE ENVIRONMENT IS IMPORTANT,
BUT PEOPLE NEED
PLACES TO LIVE TOO.
CAN'T THERE BE A COMPROMISE?
OUR FOREST IS SAVED!
BUT MY CONDOS
GOT BUILT TOO.
NOW THERE'S ROOM IN THE
WORLD FOR EVERYBODY
IF WE JUST WORK
TOGETHER.
ALL THANKS TO OUR HERO
AND STAR, DARKWING DUCK.
BUSHROOT.
YES, SIR?
DON'T GIVE UP
YOUR DAY JOB.
YES, SIR.
ROCKWELL, I'VE HAD MY
EYE ON YOUR OPERATION
FOR A LONG TIME.
REALLY, SIR?
UM-HUH. AND I THINK
YOU'RE DUE FOR A CHAT
WITH THE BOYS IN
ACCOUNTING.
LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR EXPENSE
ACCOUNT CHARGES, SHALL WE?
AAAAAAH!
ONCE AGAIN,
JUSTICE TRIUMPHS.
BUT THERE IS NO REST.
AS NIGHT FALLS,
IT'S AGAIN TIME
FOR DARKWING DUCK--
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
I WONDER WHO THE
BIG STAR IS.
OH, NO!
OH, MR. DARKWING,
WE'RE GETTING OUR
OWN TV SHOW.
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL.
I BETCHA I CAN
GET YOU A PART.
YOU WANT TO PLAY MY
WACKY NEIGHBOR?
THAT'S THE TROUBLE WITH
TELEVISION TODAY--
THERE'S NEVER
ANYTHING GOOD ON.
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
WHAT'S THE HURRY?
IS IT AN EMERGENCY
CALL FROM S.C.U.S.H.?
NOTHING SO TRIVIAL.
THEN WHAT? MEETING
WITH A CRIME BOSS?
CORNERING A
BLOOD-SUCKING ALIEN?
CLOSE. I HAVE A MEETING
WITH MY TV PRODUCER.
GOOD AFTERNOON,
MR. DUCK.
ALWAYS A THRILL WHEN STARS
VISIT DIZZY STUDIOS.
GLAD I COULD MAKE
YOUR DAY, CITIZEN.
BUT HOW COME YOU'RE NOT
WEARING YOUR SAILOR SUIT?
I BELIEVE YOU HAVE
THE WRONG DUCK.
REALLY? I THOUGHT YOU WERE--
COME ON, DADDY. THE
SECURITY GUARD
PROBABLY DOESN'T
GET TO WATCH TV.
WELL, A NORMAL PERSON SHOULD
RECOGNIZE A STAR WHEN THEY
SEE ONE.
LOOK. THERE'S A
REAL STAR!
SEE?
CAN I HAVE YOUR
AUTOGRAPH?
YOU'RE A ROLE MODEL FOR
WOMEN EVERYWHERE.
I NEVER DREAMED
I WOULD ACTUALLY
MEET YOU.
HUH HUH HUH.
COULD I HAVE
YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
WE REALLY LOVE WATCHING
YOUR ADVENTURES.
WELL, IF I CAN BRING A LITTLE
PLEASURE INTO YOUR LIVES...
MUST BE NICE TO GET
OUT OF THAT SAILOR
SUIT, HUH?
I WANT A BIGGER
PUBLICITY BUDGET
AND I WANT IT NOW!
NOBODY
RECOGNIZED ME.
AH, DARKWING! BABE!
OF COURSE THEY
RECOGNIZE YOU,
THEY'RE JUST NERVOUS
IN THE PRESENCE OF
GREATNESS.
YEAH?
OH, BROTHER.
SO, LET ME GUESS--
YOU WANT TO SIGN ME FOR
SOME NEW EPISODES.
WELL, HERE'S
WHAT I WANT--
ONE-- A MUCH BIGGER
DRESSING ROOM.
TWO-- A PERSONAL
MASSEUSE.
THREE-- MY OWN
POPCORN MAKER---
ACTUALLY, THE AUDIENCE IS
SICK OF DARKWING DUCK.
FOUR-- I WANT A..GAAA...A
HEART AND LUNG MACHINE.
DAD! ARE YOU OK?
OK, OK, SO MAYBE THAT'S
PUTTING IT A LITTLE
STRONGLY.
WE FEEL THE SHOW
NEEDS A NEW GIMMICK.
LIKE A SPIN-OFF CHARACTER.
NOW YOU'RE TALKING--
I SEE ME IN AN
ACTION ADVENTURE.
LOT'S OF CAR CHASES
AND EXPLOSIONS.
BR-R-R-R-R!
OR MAYBE WE PLAY THE
FANTASY ANGLE.
THEY KILLED HER FRIENDS AND
STOLE HER DAD'S SOUL.
THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL.
GOSALYN MALLARD,
ZOMBIE SLAYER!
SO WHEN DO MY PEOPLE
CALL YOUR PEOPLE?
SORRY, KIDDO. NOBODY WANTS A
LITTLE GIRL FOR A STAR.
WHAT?!
EXCEPT ME.
I LOVE THE IDEA.
WE'RE ALREADY WORKING ON IT.
JUST WAITING FOR
THE REWRITES.
IT'S JUST, AH, THAT WE
ALREADY HAVE SOMEONE IN MIND
TO HELP THIS SERIES.
CROSBY, BRING IN OUR GUEST.
YES, SIR,
MR. ROCKWELL.
THIS GUY IS JUST WHAT
YOUR SHOW NEEDS.
HI, EVERYBODY.
NOT YOU!
BUSHROOT?
STAY BACK! A LITTLE
WEED KILLER AND HE
IS COW FOOD.
HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU
POINT THAT THING!
YOU'RE COMPOST NOW. HEY!
CHILL OUT A SEC,
WINGSTER.
BUSHROOT IS YOUR
NEW GIMMICK.
MR. ROCKWELL SAYS I'LL BRING
IN A WHOLE NEW AUDIENCE.
OF WHAT? CABBAGE PATCH KIDS.
DON'T THINK PLANT.
THINK MUTANT.
MUTANTS WATCH TV?
MUTANTS ARE ALL
OVER THE PLACE--
COMIC BOOKS, TELEVISION, MOVIES.
SAY, BUSHROOT, DO YOU KNOW ANY
OF THAT NINJA CHOP SAKI STUFF?
IS THAT LIKE CHOW MEIN
OR SOMETHING?
LET'S GO GOSALYN.
I'M NOT TURNING
OVER MY SHOW
TO SOME AMBULATING EGGPLANT
WITH DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR.
DID YOU FORGET, DARKWING?
YOU'RE UNDER CONTRACT.
BETTER READ THE
FINE PRINT.
IT'S ALL FINE PRINT AND
I'VE READ EVERY WORD.
I BET YOU MISSED
THE EDGE.
THE EDGE?
"WE HOLD THIS TRUTH
SELF-EVIDENT
THAT THE STUDIO IS
ALWAYS RIGHT."
PERFECT.
THAT'S THE
SPIRIT, DARK.
CROSBY, THE
SCRIPTS.
YES, SIR, MR. ROCKWELL.
RIGHT AWAY.
WE TOOK SOME OF YOUR RECENT
ADVENTURES AND TRIED 'EM IN
A DIFFERENT FORMAT--
ACTION, COMEDY, GAME SHOW,
THAT SORT OF THING.
GAME SHOW?
HEY, D.W., JUST TRYING TO PUT
THE BEST SPIN ON YOUR SERIES.
GO OUT THERE AND
BREAK A LEG.
DON'T TEMPT ME.
BUT MY TALENTS ARE PERFECT
FOR LIVE-ACTION FILMS,
NOT BABYSITTING A BUNCH
OF BARNYARD REFUGEES.
OH, YES, SIR.
OF COURSE NOT, MR. DIZZY.
I DON'T MEAN TO IMPLY--
ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING WITHOUT YOU.
YES, SIR.
BOY, CAN HE BE CRANKY.
CROSBY! WHERE ARE
THOSE VIDEO TAPES?
RIGHT HERE, SIR.
GOOD BOY.
ONCE BUSHROOT'S THE
STAR OF THE SHOW
I CAN PAY HIM IN
PLANT FERTILIZER,
AND KEEP THE BIG
BUCKS FOR MYSELF.
AND ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS
DUMP DARKWING DUCK.
ALL RIGHT,
CROSBY, ROLL IT.
BOY, HOWDY!
WE'LL HAVE THIS MOUNTAIN
FLATTENED IN NO TIME AT ALL.
AIN'T PROGRESS WONDERFUL?
JUST LOOK AT THOSE BEAUTIES.
YEAH, THIS MOUNTAIN WILL
BE WALL-TO-WALL CONDOS.
AS SOON AS WE CAN GET THOSE
TREES OUT OF THE WAY.
AND DON'T FORGET
THE MINI-MALLS
WITH JUST OODLES OF
DRESS SHOPS, SHOE
STORES,
AND COOKING
BOUTIQUES.
YOU AIN'T WAITIN' ON ME.
I AM THE IVY THAT
CLOGS YOUR PIPES.
I AM THE TAP ROOT THAT
CLOGS YOUR PIPES.
I AM BUSHROOT.
ACHOO! I GOT HAY FEVER
SOMETHING AWFUL.
YOU'LL HAVE WORSE
THAN THAT IF YOU
TRAMPLE MY TREES.
THIS ISN'T JUST A FOREST,
THESE ARE MY FRIENDS.
BUT WE FOLLOWED ALL
PROPER PROCEDURES,
INCLUDING AN
ENVIRONMENTAL
IMPACT REPORT.
BUT THIS SAYS THE
ENVIRONMENT WILL BE RUINED.
WELL...YES, BUT
THE POINT IS
WE FILED THE
REPORT ON TIME.
SO IF YOU'LL KINDLY
STAND ASIDE, FELLOW...
ALL RIGHT, LET'S
GET DECIDUOUS.
YOO-HOOO-HOOO-HOOO!
WHOA! I GUESS THAT'S ONE
WAY TO GET A PARKING SPOT.
I AM THE TERROR THAT
FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I AM THE SLUG THAT
SLIMES YOUR PETUNIAS.
I AM...
HERB MUDDLEFOOT CAST AS
A CONSTRUCTION WORKER?
NO, ACTUALLY,
THAT'S MY PART.
YES. AND I'M A HIGH-POWERED,
MONEY-GRUBBING LAND DEVELOPER
WITH ABSOLUTELY NO REDEEMING
VALUES WHATSOEVER.
IT'S A STRETCH, BUT
WE FIGURED IT WAS A
GOOD CAREER MOVE.
BESIDES, WE REALLY
DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE.
LET ME GUESS--
SOMETHING ON THE EDGE OF
YOUR CONTRACT?
WELL, MY JOB IS
STILL THE SAME--
TO TURN THIS ANTISOCIAL
ARTICHOKE INTO COLE SLAW.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S
ANTISOCIAL.
I'M PROTECTING THE
ENVIRONMENT.
OH, YEAH? WELL, I'M--
YOU-- YOU CAN'T GO
AROUND BREAKING THE LAW.
AND WE HAVE BUILDING
PERMITS AND THAT
MAKES US RIGHT.
YEAH...SORT OF.
TAKE HIM
DOWN, BOYS!
NO, NO, NO!
WE HAVE TO DRAW IN
A NEW AUDIENCE
TO INCREASE OUR RATINGS.
YES, SIR, MR. ROCKWELL.
THIS TAPE'S DESIGNED TO
ATTRACT A YOUNGER TARGET
GROUP.
HEY, KIDS!
WHAT TIME IS IT?
Kids:
IT'S BUSHROOT TIME!
YEA!
YEA!
YEA!
YEA!
THEN LET'S GET STARTED, OK?
SAY, WHERE ARE MY
FLOWER FRIENDS?
OH, THERE THEY ARE--
FARMER BINKEY AND
MR. MUDDLEFOOT.
OH, TELL ME, WHO'S GOING TO BE
MY BLOSSOM BUDDIES FOR TODAY?
WHY, TWO OF OUR
FINEST FERNS--
GOSALYN MALLARD AND
HONKER MUDDLEFOOT.
YEA!
YEA!
YEA!
YOU TWO KNOW
WHAT TO DO.
WHEN WE HEAR THE
SECRET WORD
"AARDVARK"
WE LET 'EM HAVE IT.
THEN IT'S TIME FOR PUPPET
ADVENTURE THEATRE. YEA!
REMEMBER, LAST TIME, THE
EVIL MYSTERY DUCK WAS TRYING
TO STOP ME FROM
SAVING THE FOREST.
GAA! CAA! GAA-GAA!
I HATE TREATING A
PINE CONE LIKE THIS,
BUT YOU SHOULDN'T
TRY TO STOP ME.
YOU'RE A VILLAIN, EVEN IF IT
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE NOT.
SURRENDER, DOROTHY--
I MEAN, BUSHROOT.
HELP ME, MY LEAFY FRIENDS.
DO NOT HURT OUR
BUSHY HERO.
YEAH. HE'S ONLY
TRYING TO DO GOOD.
SOMEBODY GIVE ME A HAND HERE.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT
FOR THE SECRET WORD.
GOLLY, I FORGOT
WHAT IT WAS.
IT'S AARDVARK. HOW DO YOU
FORGET A WORD LIKE--
AARDVARK.
WE DON'T WANT TO MAKE
SHOWS FOR TINY TOTS
WITH MINDLESS ENTERTAINMENT.
THEY WANT TO GO OUT
AND PLAY SOMEWHERE.
BESIDES, THEY DON'T
HAVE ANY BUYING POWER.
AUDIENCE-WISE, SIR-- ARE WE
TALKING COUCH POTATO TIME?
MASHED, BAKED, OR DEEP FRIED.
THEN I THINK I HAVE
JUST THE THING, SIR.
I CAN'T REMEMBER.
WHICH WIRE DO I CONNECT?
OH, USE THE RED
ONE, DEAR.
THAT WAY IT WON'T CLASH
WITH THE DYNAMITE.
WHEN THIS BABY GOES OFF,
THERE WON'T BE NOTHING
LEFT OF THIS FOREST
EXCEPTING TOOTHYPICKS.
[ RING ]
I'M SNARLING, CROSBY.
YOU HEAR ME?
NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT.
POINTLESS VIOLENCE. YES!
WAIT A MINUTE!
THIS ISN'T LIKE ME.
SURE IT IS. CROSBY,
WHAT'S HE DOING?
I DON'T USE GUNS.
THAT'S THE SPIRIT, BUSHROOT.
WE CAN COMPROMISE.
THE ANSWER ISN'T GUNS.
RIGHT. NOT WHILE
I HAVE TREES.
WAAAA!
OH, TREACHERY. AUDIENCES
LOVE TREACHERY.
COMPROMISE, HUH?
WHEN YOUR REAL PLAN WAS
TO BLOW MY FOREST TO
SMITHEREENS.
B.R., IF THIS IS
YOUR PILOT SHOW,
SHOULDN'T YOU BE THE ONE ON
JEOPARD AT THE END OF THE ACT?
HEY, I'M A VEGETABLE.
WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT
STORY STRUCTURE?
[ RING ]
GREAT ACTING, CROSBY!
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
AH, HE DIES.
OK. EXPLODING
DARKWING DUCK--
UPSIDE-- SUREFIRE RATINGS,
DOWNSIDE-- WE GET STICK WITH
ALL THIS MERCHANDISE.
NO. WE BETTER CONCENTRATE
ON OUR NEW STAR.
HOW DO WE DISTINGUISH
BUSHROOT FROM ALL THE OTHER
MUTANT PLANT DUCKS?
GIVE HIM A JOB?
QUIET! I'M THINKING.
I GOT IT-- WE
GIVE HIM A JOB.
HE COULD BE A LAWYER
OR A DOCTOR--
WHOA-- HAVING A
BRAINSTORM HERE.
WE'LL MAKE HIM BOTH.
DR. BUSHROOT, M.D.,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
YOUR HONOR, FOR
MY NEXT WITNESS,
AND PATIENT, I CALL THE
DEFENDANT, MR. DARKWING DUCK.
DO YOU DENY, SIR,
THAT YOU TRIED TO
BLOW UP TREES?
DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE
WHO USES EXPLOSIVES?
I INTEND TO PROVE, BEYOND A
SHADOW OF A DOUBT,
THAT THE DEFENDANT
IS KINKY FOR CONDOS.
[ COUGH ]
OH, DEAR. I DON'T LIKE THE
SOUND OF THAT COUGH.
AND I'LL TOSS IN A
FREE CHECK UP.
TAKE A DEEP BREATH
AND SAY "GUILTY."
BUT I LOVE TREES.
I DON'T WANT THEM
REPLACED BY CONDOS
OR MINI-MALLS OR CAR PARKS.
I SAID "CAR PARK."
NOT-- WOULD YOU-- WON'T
CATCH ME THIS TIME.
THAT WORD WILL NEVER
PASS MY LIPS.
WHAT WORD?
AARDVARK.
YOUR HONOR, I HAVE HERE AN
EXTREMELY RARE BUTTERFLY--
THE PURPLE SPECKED
NIT-PICKER.
WHICH IS FOUND ONLY IN THE
FOREST YOU TRIED TO DESTROY.
THAT OUGHT TO BE GOOD FOR
LIFE PLUS 20 YEAR, HUH?
OH, HERB, YOU KNOW I'M
NO GOOD WITH NUMBERS.
I'LL JUST LOCK HIM
UP FOR AN EVEN
CENTURY.
HEY, HEY, HEY, I LOVE BUGS.
I WOULDN'T STEP
ON A COCKROACH
WITHOUT CHECKING IF
IT HAD FULL MEDICAL
AND THIS POOR THING...
IS NOTHING BUT A
COUPLE OF LEAVES
STUCK TOGETHER
WITH WACKY GLUE.
OOPS.
VERY WELL, I TRIED DOING
THINGS THE LEGAL WAY,
BUT YOU WOULDN'T LET ME.
HEH HEH HEH HEH.
SO I'VE ADDED A SPECIAL
HERBAL POTION
TO THE COURT HOUSE
WATER SUPPLY.
NOW YOU FACE NOT ONLY ME,
BUT THE CURSE OF THE
MUSHROOM ZOMBIES.
WE'RE COMING FOR YOU, DARKWING.
MUSHROOM ZOMBIES? CROSBY,
WHAT IS THIS CRAZINESS?
I-I-I DON'T
KNOW, SIR.
GEE, MY PARKING
METER JUST RAN OUT.
ANYONE HAVE ANY
LOOSE CHANGE?
AFTER HIM, MY
FUNGAL FIENDS.
HE'LL NOT THREATEN
THE FOREST WHEN HE
BECOMES PART OF IT.
OH, WHY IT'S BUTTER.
COURTESY OF GOSALYN MALLARD,
ZOMBIE SLAYER.
TIME TO SAUTE SOME MUSHROOMS.
GOSALYN, WAIT TILL I GET A WAY!
WHAT IN CREATION WAS THAT?
I THINK THE LITTLE
GIRL SLIPPED
ON SOME OF HER OWN
SCRIPT PAGES.
OK, WE GOTTA GET THAT
KID SOME THERAPY.
MAYBE WE OUGHT TO LOOK AT
SOMETHING MORE UPBEAT.
HI, I'M REGINAL BUSHROOT
AND WELCOME TOEARTH OF
CONSEQUENCES.
YEA!
YEA!
THANK YOU.
OUR CONTESTANT TODAY IS THE
WELL-KNOWN ENVIRONMENTAL PEST,
DARKWING DUCK.
BOO!
BOO!
THANKS AGAIN. THIS MORAL
LEPER HAS TO MAKE A CHOICE--
WILL HE SIDE WITH THE
MONEY-GRUBBING LAND
DEVELOPERS
WITH NO REDEEMING
VALUES WHATSOEVER,
OR WITH THE SHRUBBERY OF THIS
PRISTINE UNSPOILED FOREST?
I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS.
I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE
MY RATINGS GIMMICK.
YOU THINK IT'S EASY BEING A
DEFENDER OF LAW AND JUSTICE?
IT'S HARD WORK.
I SAID HARD WORK!
HARD WORK, YOU KNOW?
HOW COULD DEFENDING
JUSTICE BE AARDVARK?
WE HAVE A WINNER--
FOR YOUR PRIZE,
DARKWING DUCK,
YOU AND YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS
WILL SHARE AN
EXCITING DEMISE
AS THE LIVING FOREST
DOES TO ST. CANARD
WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
TO THEIR HOME--
LEVEL IT TO THE GROUND!
YOU KNOW, FOR A GIMMICK,
BUSHROOT SEEMED TO HAVE
ALL THE GOOD LINES.
IS IT JUST ME OR WHAT?
I THINK THAT SLEZOID
ROCKWELL IS UP TO SOMETHING.
YOU BETTER WATCH
YOUR BACK.
NAH. HE WON'T MESS WITH ME.
I'M THE STAR OF THE SHOW.
WHO ELSE IS GOING TO
BE HIS MEAL TICKET?
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
ASK BUSHROOT.
WHAT?!
HIYA, DARKWING?
LOOK WHAT MR. ROCKWELL
SENT FOR ME.
ISN'T IT SWELL?
WHOOPS. GOTTA GO.
I HAVE A MEETING
WITH MR. DIZZY.
STEP ON IT, DRIVER.
MR. DIZZY? I NEVER HAD A
MEETING WITH MR. DIZZY.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
OPEN THIS UP!
"AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY."
THE NAME IS
DARKWING DUCK.
SORRY, YOU'RE
NOT ON THE LIST.
YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO MOVE
ALONG.
ROCKWELL IS UP TO SOMETHING.
I HAVE TO GET INSIDE.
THERE'S ONE WAY IN, BUT
YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIKE IT.
GOOD AFTERNOON, MR.
DUCK. GO RIGHT IN.
I TELL YOU, MR. DIZZY,
BUSHROOT HERE IS ONE
TALENTED MAJOR FOOD GROUP.
HE'S ALSO INCREDIBLE
VERSATILE, SIR.
UNLIKE, SAY, A
DUCK-TYPE CHARACTER.
ROCKWELL'S MAKING ME
LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.
NO CRIMINAL WILL EVER TAKE
ME SERIOUSLY AGAIN.
DAD, IN HERE.
THIS IS THE FILM OF
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.
THEN I SAY WE GIVE MR.
DIZZY A REAL SHOW.
NOT ONLY TALENTED, BUT HE
TEST THROUGH THE ROOF.
RIGHT, CROSBY?
YES, SIR. BUSHROOT'S
INDEX IS OFF THE CHARTS.
IT IS?
WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE
SECOND REEL. ROLL 'EM.
OH, YES, SIR, MR. ROCKWELL.
HEY, THAT VOICE--
HOW COULD HE...
WAY TO GO, GUYS.
NO ONE CAN STOP ST. CANARD
FROM BECOMING OUR PERSONAL
CUP OF TEA.
I AM THE TERROR THAT
FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I AM THE EDITOR THAT
LEAVES YOU ON THE
CUTTING ROOM FLOOR.
CROSBY! JUST WHAT'S
GOING ON HERE?
I-I-I DON'T KNOW, SIR.
GEE, I THOUGHT YOU WOULD
HAVE CUT OUT THIS PART.
I AM THE CLOCK CLEANER THAT
WILL RING YOUR CHIMES.
I AM DARKWING DUCK.
OOPS, SHOW'S RUNNING LONG.
TIME TO DO SOME TRIMMING.
LEAVE THOSE
LEAVES ALONE!
I'VE ONLY GOT ONE THING
TO SAY TO YOU--
AARDVARK!
HEY!
HMMM. RHUBARB.
MY FAVORITE.
HEAR THAT? ISN'T OUR
CONTESTANT A GOOD SPORT?
ALL RIGHT, YOU'LL BE
PLAYING FOR YOUR FRIENDS.
THESE MONSTROUS, IF
MISGUIDED, FOREST CONIFERS.
SO, IS IT DOOR NUMBER ONE?
DOOR NUMBER TWO?
OR DOOR NUMBER THREE?
LET'S SEE. DOOR NUMBER TWO--
NO, AH, NUMBER ONE--
AN. DEFINITELY THREE--
NO, SORRY, TWO.
SORRY, I DON'T KNOW.
DEFINITELY DOOR NUMBER TWO.
I THINK.
OK, I'M EASY. WE'LL
OPEN ALL THREE.
[ BUZZING ]
YES, IT'S YOUR VERY OWN
COLLECTION OF TERMITES AND
BARK BEETLES.
BUT I WAS ONLY TRYING TO KEEP
THE FOREST FROM BEING PAVED OVER
FOR PARKING LOTS
AND NAIL SALONS.
THAT'S ONE SHRUB'S OPINION.
WE HAVE A CALLER
ON THE LINE.
CALLER, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THE ENVIRONMENT IS IMPORTANT,
BUT PEOPLE NEED
PLACES TO LIVE TOO.
CAN'T THERE BE A COMPROMISE?
OUR FOREST IS SAVED!
BUT MY CONDOS
GOT BUILT TOO.
NOW THERE'S ROOM IN THE
WORLD FOR EVERYBODY
IF WE JUST WORK
TOGETHER.
ALL THANKS TO OUR HERO
AND STAR, DARKWING DUCK.
BUSHROOT.
YES, SIR?
DON'T GIVE UP
YOUR DAY JOB.
YES, SIR.
ROCKWELL, I'VE HAD MY
EYE ON YOUR OPERATION
FOR A LONG TIME.
REALLY, SIR?
UM-HUH. AND I THINK
YOU'RE DUE FOR A CHAT
WITH THE BOYS IN
ACCOUNTING.
LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR EXPENSE
ACCOUNT CHARGES, SHALL WE?
AAAAAAH!
ONCE AGAIN,
JUSTICE TRIUMPHS.
BUT THERE IS NO REST.
AS NIGHT FALLS,
IT'S AGAIN TIME
FOR DARKWING DUCK--
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
I WONDER WHO THE
BIG STAR IS.
OH, NO!
OH, MR. DARKWING,
WE'RE GETTING OUR
OWN TV SHOW.
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL.
I BETCHA I CAN
GET YOU A PART.
YOU WANT TO PLAY MY
WACKY NEIGHBOR?
THAT'S THE TROUBLE WITH
TELEVISION TODAY--
THERE'S NEVER
ANYTHING GOOD ON.