Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 1, Episode 57 - Slime OK, You're OK - full transcript

♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪

♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪

♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪

♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪

♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪

♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪

3, 2, 1!

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LET'S GET DANGEROUS.



♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!

♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪

♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪

♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪

♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪

♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪

♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪

♪ HERE COMES ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LOOK OUT!

♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LET'S GET DANGEROUS!



♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪

THIS IS THE CITY.

IT COULD BE ANY CITY.
IT COULD BE YOURS,

BUT IT'S MY CITY!

I'M THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT,

THE FINGERNAIL ON THE
BLACKBOARD OF YOUR SOUL,

AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY,

I'M THE OWNER
OF MALLARD GARDENS

WITH TWO HOTELS ON IT.

YEAH.

NOTHING LIKE PLAYING
A FRIENDLY PARLOR GAME

AND REDUCING A LOVED ONE
TO POVERTY, BANKRUPTCY,
AND HUMILIATION.

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
I OWN MALLARD GARDENS.

THOSE ARE MY HOTELS.

THERE'S GOTTA BE A GAME
YOU CAN BEAT ME AT.

WE'VE COVERED THEM ALL,

EXCEPT
TRIVIAL TRIVIA--
THE SWAHILI EDITION.

YOU DON'T SPEAK SWAHILI.

I DON'T EITHER,
SO IT'S EVEN.

I'LL GET IT.

NO, DAD.
I KNOW JUST WHERE IT IS.

LAUNCHPAD,
HOW'S IT GOIN'?

I'M ABOUT FINISHED
CLEANING YOUR ROOM,

BUT I'M NOT SURE
ABOUT YOUR HOMEWORK.

I WON THE GAME,
FAIR AND SQUARE.

HOW WAS I TO KNOW
YOU SPOKE SWAHILI?

ALL RIGHT, I'LL HELP.

YOU WILL? BOY,
YOU'RE SURE SWELL.

WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?

HERE'S ONE THAT'S GOT
MY PROPELLERS SPINNING.

HOW DO YOU SPELL--
YIPES!

YIPES? THAT'S EASY.
Y-I-P-E--YIPES!

WHY DON'T YOU
SPELL IT IN SWAHILI?

I DIDN'T
HEAR YOU COME IN.

I HEARD YOU.

YOU OUGHT
TO BE ASHAMED USING
A FRIEND LIKE THIS.

YOU OUGHT
TO BE GROUNDED FOR--

[ALARM RINGS]

MY ALARM TERMINAL!

PHEW! SAVED BY THE BELL.

[ALARM STOPS]

HIGH TECH-ARAMA.
WHAT IS IT?

MY NEW CRIME-FIGHTING
APPARATUS--

THE DARKWING REMOTE
ALARM TERMINAL.

USING STRATEGICALLY
PLACED SENSORS,

IT'S DETECTED
A CRIME IN PROGRESS.

WHERE?
WHERE?

I KNEW
I LEFT SOMETHING OUT,

BUT WE LIVE IN THE AGE
OF INSTANT COMMUNICATION.

THIS IS KRYM--

ALL CRIME
ALL THE TIME.

THE BOTANICAL RESEARCH
LAB ON FLEEGLE STREET'S
BEEN BROKEN INTO.

NOW BACK TO AMERICA'S
FUNNIEST MISDEMEANORS.

HEY, WAIT FOR ME!

UH!

WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?

TO SOLVE CRIMES,
STRIKE TERROR INTO
THE HEARTS OF EVILDOERS,

AND MAYBE
SCARF A BURGER?

NO. ZERO POSSIBILITY.

YOU'RE GROUNDED UNTIL
YOU LEARN YOUR LESSON.

FRIENDSHIP'S
A TWO-WAY STREET.

DON'T USE FRIENDS,
YOU HELP THEM.

RIGHT.

LEMME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

I SHOULDN'T USE FRIENDS.

I SHOULD HELP THEM.

IT'S A TWO-WAY STREET.

WAIT A MINUTE.

FLEEGLE STREET'S
A TWO-WAY STREET,

AND DAD AND LAUNCHPAD
ARE FRIENDS.

THAT MEANS
I SHOULD HELP THEM!

DO I LEARN MY LESSONS
FAST OR WHAT?

SO, THE WORLD
THINKS I'M A MONSTER--

A HORRIBLE, UGLY,
MUTANT, PLANT MONSTER.

WELL, AS SOON AS FORMULA
IQ2U IS PERFECTED,

I WON'T BE ALONE.

ONE TINY LITTLE DROP

AND ANY VEGETATION
WILL MUTATE INTO
AN INTELLIGENT PLANT...

LIKE ME.

SPIKE,
THE FINAL INGREDIENT--
PLUTONIUM PLANT PLASMA.

[BUSHROOT]
SPIKE!

THE PLASMA--
FETCH THE PLASMA!

AND BE CAREFUL.

PLUTONIUM PLANT PLASMA
IS THE WORLD'S MOST
POWERFUL GROWTH HORMONE.

NOW THERE'S ONLY
ONE THING LEFT TO DO--

CACKLE MADLY.

HA!

I'M THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT,

THE SPINACH THAT
STICKS TO YOUR TEETH!

I'M DARKWING DUCK.
WHERE DID EVERYONE GO?

MAYBE YOU NEED
A SHORTER INTRO.

MAYBE SOMEBODY NEEDS
A SHORTER PET FLY TRAP.

PEEK-A-BOO,
BROCCOLI BRAIN!

REMIND ME
TO PRUNE YOU LATER.

PREPARE
TO SUCK WEED KILLER!

TIME FOR A LITTLE
TREE ACTION, SPIKE.

SORRY, BUSHBRAIN,
BUT THERE ARE
NO TREES IN HERE.

WHOA,
THAT'S WHAT I CALL
LITTLE TREE ACTION.

OW!
YOU STOP THAT!

OW!
THAT HURTS! OW!

AS SOON AS WE GET HOME,

YOU'RE GOING ON A DIET.

OH, NO!
MY PRECIOUS FORMULA!

[GASP]

GOT YOU NOW,
YOU VILE VEG-HEAD.

I GOT HERE JUST IN TIME.

DAD'S IN TROUBLE.

DON'T WORRY!
I'LL RESCUE YOU!

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU--

WHOA!

AAH!
WHOA!

OOF!

THANKS FOR THE RESCUE,
WHOEVER YOU ARE.

COME ON.
WE'VE GOT WORK TO DO.

GREAT. WE'LL NEVER
CATCH BUSHROOT NOW!

I WAS JUST TRYING
TO HELP A FRIEND.

I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND,
I'M YOUR FATHER!

YOU'VE GOT WORK TO DO.

ONE DROP OF FORMULA IQ2U

AND THIS HEDGE WILL BE
AS INTELLIGENT AS A DUCK.

I'LL HAVE
A REAL FRIEND, A SOULMATE.

FWEND!

THEN AGAIN,
I MIGHT END UP

WITH A HUNGRY,
DROOLING LUMP OF SLIME.

BLAAH!

GOSALYN?

I TOLD YOU TO CLEAN UP
THE MESS IN YOUR ROOM!

AAH! YOUARE
THE MESS IN YOUR ROOM!

WAIT'LL
THE OTHER KIDS
SEE ME.

YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

I'LL WRITE A NOTE SAYING
YOU CAN'T GO TO SCHOOL

BECAUSE YOU'RE
A GELATINOUS GLOB OF ALGAE.

ACTUALLY,
I'LL SAY BUBONIC PLAGUE.

IT'S MORE BELIEVABLE.

WHEN YOU'RE DONE
TAKING PICTURES,

CAN I GET SOME
8 x 10s FOR MY WALL?

THIS ISN'T A CAMERA.

IT'S MY COMPUTER
AND SLIMY MATTER ANALYZER.

AHA! ACCORDING TO THIS,

HER GENETIC STRUCTURE
HAS METAMORPHOSED

INTO A PHOTOSYNTHETIC
PRIMORDIAL
ATOMIC STRUCTURE.

UH...WHAT DOES
THAT MEAN, D.W.?

SHE'S A SLIMY
MESS OF GOO.

[SLURP SLURP]

[DARKWING]
SHE'LL GET EVEN BIGGER
UNLESS WE FIND A CURE.

[BURP]

WHOOPS!

THIS ELECTRONIC DISPERSER

WILL SEPARATE
HER SLIME MOLECULES
FROM HER DUCK MOLECULES,

AND VOILA!

[COUGH]

DID SEPARATION OCCUR?

UH, YEAH,
YOU MIGHT SAY THAT.

IF THEY ESCAPE,

WE'LL EVEN GET GOSALYN
BACK TO NORMAL.

HEY, COME BACK HERE,
YOUNG LADIES.

GOTCHA! WHOA!

WHOA!

[CRASH]

KEEN GEAR.

LET'S DO IT AGAIN.

[ALARM RINGS]

THAT'S THE REMOTE SIGNAL
FROM MY CRIME MONITOR!

ANOTHER EVILDOER'S
DOING EVIL SOMEWHERE
IN ST. CANARD!

WHERE?

I KNEW YOU WERE
GOING TO ASK THAT,

BUT THIS TIME I'M READY.

I'LL SIMPLY MEASURE
THE DISTANCE OF QUADRANT A,

DIVIDE BY
THE TIME OF DAY,

COUNT BACKWARDS
FROM THE INITIAL ALARM...

MULTIPLY THE HYPOTENUSE
BY THE SQUARE ROOT
OF THE CITY'S POPULATION.

SUBTRACTING
FOR OUT-OF-TOWN
VISITORS, OF COURSE--

WHAT WAS THAT?

IT'S JUST
THE EVENING PAPER, D.W.

"PLANT DOC INVADES
ST. CANARD NURSERY"!

SOMEONE'S BROKEN INTO
THE ST. CANARD NURSERY?

OH, THOSE POOR BABIES!

NOT THAT KIND
OF NURSERY, LAUNCHPAD,

A PLANT NURSERY!

COME ON, L.P., THIS TIME
BUSHROOT WON'T GET AWAY.

[BURP]

UH, YOU BETTER COME
WITH DADDY, HONEY.

THIS PLANT FOOD
AND FERTILIZER
OUGHT TO WORK.

HEDGIE, I'VE GOT
YOUR SNACK!

HEDGIE! UH, HEDGIE!

WHERE ARE YOU?

ER, YOO-HOO!

YOO-HOO, HEDGIE!
YOO-HOO!

YOO-HOO TO YOU, TOO!

HMM, HEDGIE'S VOICE
IS DEVELOPING
A FAMILIAR TONE.

HOW ODD.

NOT AS ODD AS YOU,
FERTILIZER FACE.

B-B-BEHIND YOU!

WHERE'D YOU LEARN
THAT OLD TRICK,

THE SUPER-VILLIAN
HANDBOOK?

I THOUGHT YOU HAD
MORE ORIGINALITY,
MORE VERVE, MORE--

BLUGH!

MORE BLUGH! WHAT?

BLAAH!

WHAT DO YOU
SUPPOSE IT WANTS?

"WHAT DO YOU
SUPPOSE IT WANTS?"

FOOD!

BLAAH!

BLAAH!

FOOD! FOOD!

I CAN'T BEAR TO LOOK,

BUT I ADMIT
A LITTLE CURIOSITY.

BLAAH!

GOOD THING I BROUGHT
THE HEDGE CLIPPERS.

UH-OH.

I'M THE SLIME
THAT SLURPS IN THE NIGHT!

WHOA!

I'M THE WAD OF GUM

THAT STICKS
TO THE HEEL OF CRIME!

I AM YUCKY DUCK!

I NEED A SHORTER INTRO.

THAT CREATURE
REMINDS ME
OF HEDGIE.

HEDGIE!

ARE YOU FEELING O.K.?

I'M NOT ONE TO TALK,

BUT YOU
DON'T LOOK SO GOOD.

UH, SORRY, DAD.

I GUESS
I LET BUSHROOT
GET AWAY AGAIN.

MAYBE SO,

BUT WITH
YOUR SLIME POWERS,

I'LL GET THAT
VILLAINOUS VEGETABLE!

I GET TO HELP? COOL!

BUT SHOULDN'T WE TRY
TURNING GOSALYN
BACK TO NORMAL?

LATER, LAUNCHPAD.
RIGHT NOW...

LET'S GET SLIMY.

YOU REALLY THINK
BUSHROOT WOULD HIDE
IN A SEWER?

ARE YOU HELPING
OR NOT?

ALL RIGHT.
I'M GOING. I'M GOING.

SO MUCH FOR THE GLAMOROUS
LIFE OF A CRIME-FIGHTER.

AAH!
AAH!
AAH!

MONSTER!

GOSALYN, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?

CHOWIN' DOWN.
WANT SOME FRIES?

UH, THANKS.

THIS IS NO TIME FOR FOOD.

HELP ME CATCH BUSHROOT.

I'VE ALREADY SEARCHED
EVERY SEWER, DUMP,

AND FERTILIZER FACTORY
IN THE CITY.

YES, BUT THAT'S
JUSTTHIS CITY.

I'M TIRED OF BEING
A SLIMY CRIME-FIGHTER.

I WANT TO BE
YOUR DAUGHTER AGAIN.

YOU'RE MORE
THAN THAT.

YOU'RE A TOOL
IN THE UTILITY BELT
OF JUSTICE.

I SAID
SOMETHING WRONG?

YOU'D RATHER HAVE
A SUPER-POWERED
SLIME-CREATURE

THAN A DAUGHTER.

OH, WELL, YES. THAT
WOULD QUALIFY. UGH!

AAH!
AAH!
AAH!

HUH! SOME FUN THIS
TURNED OUT TO BE.

I'M STUCK LOOKING LIKE
A MUTANT SLUG-MONSTER,

AND DAD JUST WANTS
TO USE ME TO SOLVE CRIMES.

WELL, HE MAY NEED ME,

BUT I DON'T NEED HIM.

I DON'T NEED ANYONE.
I'M YUCKY DUCK. I'M...

LOST.

[GASP]

WE DIDN'T MEAN
TO SCARE YOU.

YOU DIDN'T SCARE ME!

NOW BACK OFF,
GERANIUM FACE!

YOU'RE NOTHING BUT
A BIG, SLIMY,

GELATINOUS BLOB
OF VEGETABLE MATTER!

YOU'RE WHAT
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
IN A FRIEND.

YOU'LL BE MY FRIEND,
WON'T YOU?

OF COURSE YOU WILL.

I DON'T THINK SO.

YOU'RE HALF-PLANT,
AND I'M--

O.K., I'M HALF-PLANT,
TOO, SORT OF.

EVERYONE NEEDS A FRIEND,

SOMEONE WHO'S
ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU,

NO MATTER WHAT.

[HAPPY PANTING]

OOH...

YOU'LL SEE. YOU'LL
BE MY BEST FRIEND.

UH, HOW'S IT GOING, D.W.?

I HAVE GOOD NEWS
AND BAD NEWS.

THE GOOD NEWS--
I FOUND A CURE FOR
GOSALYN'S SLIMINESS.

BUT IT MIGHT
BE TOO LATE.

I'VE BROKEN A SAMPLE
DOWN TO ITS PUREST FORM
AND TESTED IT.

APPARENTLY,
THERE ARE FOUR STAGES--

INTELLIGENCE...

[BURP]

INDIGESTION...

AAH!

INSANITY...

AND...IN A PUDDLE.

WITH MY NEW IQ2U FORMULA,

I'LL CREATE A RACE
OF INTELLIGENT PLANTS
LIKE ME AND YOU!

WELL, LIKE ME, ANYWAY.

[BURP]

URGGH!

FOOD!

[BURP]

OOPS!

THE NEW
AND IMPROVED IQ2U!

FOOD!

OH!

STOP THAT!

MY, AREN'T WE
THE AFFECTIONATE ONE!

I'M AFRAID THERE'S
NO TIME FORTHAT.

FRIEND...

NO LIKE ME?

OH, BUT
I DO LIKE YOU.

I LIKE YOU SO MUCH
I'M GOING TO CULTIVATE YOU.

FOLLOWING
GOSALYN'S SLIME TRAIL'S
EASIER THAN I THOUGHT.

WITH INFRARED GOGGLES,
I SEE EVERYTHING.

[CRASH]

EXCEPT RED LIGHTS.

MY LITTLE GELATINOUS
FRIEND, THIS WON'T HURT.

I DON'T THINK.

WELL, MAYBE JUST
A LITTLE TEENSY BIT.

HEY!

I'LL TAKE
THAT TUBE, BOOB!

B-BUT THAT'S
MY FORMULA!

GOTCHA!

OH, NO!

NO, NO, NO!

NO, NO, NO!

SPIKE! HEY, WAIT!
COME BACK!

NOT SO FAST,
BUSHBREATH!

SPIKE! NO!
COME BACK HERE!

I'LL HAVE YOU
OUT OF THERE IN NO TIME.

WHOA-A-A-!

BAD, SPIKE!
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

WHOA!

WHAT WAS
IN THAT VIAL?

MY NEW IQ2U FORMULA.

THIS LAWN HAS
A MIND OF ITS OWN.

[IMITATING MAE WEST]
WHY DON'T YOU COME UP

AND SEED ME SOMETIME?

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!

WATCH IT!

I DON'T WANT
GRASS STAINS
ON THE CAPE.

UH-OH.

HEY!

WHOA!
HEY!
WHOA!

SORRY, GOS.

I'M AFRAID I JUST
CAN'T REACH YOU.

WHA!

YOU FRIEND?

ME SURE HOPE SO.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

[GRETA GARBO]
I VANT TO BE A LAWN.

WE HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER
ON THIS ONE, BUSHROOT.

YOU MEAN
LIKE FRIENDS?

YEAH. NOW GROW UP,

THAT'S NO WAY
TO TALK TO A BUDDY.

I MEAN GROWUP.

OH! SOMETIMES
I FORGET
I'M PART PLANT.

THANKS, BUSHY,
OLD PAL.

WHY CAN'T I EVER SEEM
TO KEEP ANY FRIENDS?

HERE, SHEEPY, SHEEPY,
COME TO MR. DARKWING.

[BAA]
[BAA]
[BAA]

DARKWING DUCK!

IT AIN'T
LITTLE BO PEEP.

[LAWN CREATURE]
OUCH! OUCH!

STOP!

LAUNCHPAD, GOSALYN,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

JUST COZY,
AS LONG AS WE DON'T
TRY TO BREATHE.

I GUESS
IT'S TIME FOR A LITTLE
DARKWING DEMOLITION!

OUCH.

TERRIFIC. GOSALYN'S
ABOUT TO BECOME A PUDDLE,

AND ALL I CAN DO
IS WATCH.

PLEASE ALLOW ME.

WHOA!

BUSHROOT, UH, THANKS.

OH, THAT'S O.K.

I DON'T KNOW WHY
I THOUGHT I COULD
HAVE FRIENDS, ANYWAY.

I GUESS
I'M JUST A SILLY OLD
MUTANT PLANT DUCK.

COME ON!
YOU'RE MAKING ME SICK!
CAREFUL!

I'M NOT GOING
TO GO EASY ON YOU
JUST FOR HELPING ME.

I MEAN, DON'T EXPECT ME
TO TURN MY BACK

WHILE YOU ESCAPE.

LET ME PUT IT ANOTHER WAY!

GO! GO! GO!
HASTA LA VISTA, BUSHY!

I GUESS BUSHROOT
JUST WANTED A FRIEND.

AND ALL THIS TIME,
HE ALREADY HAD ONE.

YEP, YEP, AHH...YOU KNOW,
SOMETIMES WE JUST FORGET

WHO OUR REAL FRIENDS ARE.

MAYBE YOU BETTER TRY
YOUR SLIME CURE ON GOS.

NO! NO! QUIT! PLEASE!

NO! STOP! HELP!

THIS IS WORSE THAN
BEING A SLIME MONSTER.

I'M AFRAID
THE ONLY CURE IS...

PLAIN OLD
SOAP AND WATER!

NOW HOLD STILL.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

NO! PLEASE STOP! NO!