Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 1, Episode 51 - Quack of Ages - full transcript
♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!
HA HA HA HAH!
TURN RIGHT, D.W.!
WE'RE GAINING!
AMAZING FOIL
OF QUACKERJACK.
I NEVER SAW A BOMB
DEFUSED THAT WAY.
FORTUNATELY,
MY BODY ABSORBED
THE EXPLOSION'S FORCE.
WHERE'S
THE TRACKING DEVICE
ON QUACKERJACK?
THAT PESKY DUCK
WILL NEVER FIND
MY SECRET HIDEOUT,
MR. BANANA BRAIN.
NOT UNLESS SOMEONE
SPILLS THE BEANS.
WHICH WAY, LAUNCHPAD?
TURN RIGHT.
AAH!
AAH!
HELP!
[QUACKERJACK]
YOU FOILED MY BLOWING UP
THE YO-YO FACTORY,
BUT I'M NOT DONE!
THE JIG IS UP,
JUG-HEADED
JACK-IN-THE-BOX!
IT'S MY FAULT
NO ONE WILL BUY
MY TOYS?
ALL ANYONE WANTS
ARE YO-YOs!
IF I CAN'T
DESTROY ALL YO-YOs,
I'LL DESTROY
JUST ONE--
THE FIRST YO-YO!
HA HA HAH!
HEY, WHERE'D HE GO?
THAT'S FUNNY.
ACCORDING TO THIS,
HE'S STILL THERE.
WHY ARE WE BORROWING
THE SHUSH TIME MACHINE?
BECAUSE,
LAUNCHPAD, THAT
WAS NO ORDINARY TOP.
QUACKERJACKIS STILL
IN ST. CANARD--
ONLY 700 YEARS
IN THE PAST.
WE'RE GOING BACK
IN TIME!
OH, BOY!
IN TIME FOR WHAT?
IN TIME
TO STOP QUACKERJACK
FROM DESTROYING
THE FIRST YO-YO
AND ALTERING
THE HISTORY OF TOYS!
SET TIME COORDINATES
FOR 1291.
DON'T MESS UP!
WHAT HAPPENED IN 1291?
[DARKWING]
ACCORDING
TO THIS ALMANAC,
THE YO-YO
WAS INVENTED
BY THE KING OF
MEDIEVAL CANARDIA.
1291,
LAUNCHPAD.
NO FREEWAY
CONGESTION,
NO SKYSCRAPERS
BLOCKING OUT
THE SUN...
AND NO
DARKWING TOWER!
AAH!
[SPLASH]
[COUGHING]
[BINKETH]
GADZOOKS!
WHAT MANNER
OF STRANGE FISH
BE THESE?
BINKIE?
NAY. BINKETH BE MY NAME.
SHE MUST BE
BINKIE'S ANCESTOR.
WHAT STRANGE
CLOTHS YOU WEAR.
FROM WHENCE
DO YOU HAIL?
WHAT IF I SAID
I'M FROM 700 YEARS
IN THE FUTURE?
THEN YOU
ARE A WARLOCK
AND MUST BE
BURNED.
WE'RE FROM SWEDEN.
OOH! WELCOME
TO CANARDIA,
STRANGERS.
ALLOWETH ME
TO ASSIST YOU
IN YOUR TRAVELS
HERETH.
[GUARD]
MAKE WAY
FOR THE KING!
JUST THE MAN
I WANTED TO SEE.
NONE MAY SEE HIM.
HIS NEW MINISTER
FORBIDS IT.
HE'LL SEE ME.
I'M DARKWING DUCK.
IDEMAND
TO SEE THE KING!
[HERBETH]
HALTETH!
HERB MUDDLEFOOT?
'TIS KING HERBETH
TO YOU.
QUACKERJACK!
THAT'SSIR QUACKERJACK.
SIRE,
THIS MAN IS A FRAUD
AND A KNOWN FELON!
HOLD THY TONGUE!
SIR QUACKERJACK
IS MY TRUSTED
NEW ADVISOR!
THE SIRE AND I
ARE GREAT PALS.
HA HA HA!
THIS GUY
CRACKS ME UP!
NO LIE.
YOU...
YOU
JACKANAPE!
GUARDS!
GUARDS!
THAT PUNY CRACKERBOX
IS NO MATCH
FOR MY SOPHISTICATED
KNOWLEDGE
OF MODERN TECHNOLOGY.
IF THOU ALLOWETH
ME TO HELPETH--
STEP ASIDE,
LITTLE FAIR
MAIDEN LADY.
I'LL HANDLE THIS.
UHH!
I AM THE MIGHTY
DARKWING DUCK.
I PITY THE POOR FOOL
WHO BLOCKS MY WAY!
WHOA! BOY...
WHERE BRUTE FORCE FAILS,
TRY AGILITY.
IF THOU
WOULDST BUT LISTEN...
I'VE CALCULATED
THE WALL'S
PRECISE HEIGHT
AND THE EXACT ARC
OF THE TRAJECTORY...
[CRASH]
GIVE OR TAKE
A FEW FEET.
WHERE BRUTE FORCE
AND AGILITY FAIL,
TRY INGENUITY.
A PRESENT FOR THE KING!
BRILLIANT.
ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS WAIT FOR LAUNCHPAD
TO OPEN THE DOOR!
WHAT DOOR, D.W.?
OOOOH!
[BINKETH]
YOO HOO!
UP HERE!
HOW'D YOU
GET THERE?
I TRIED TO TELLETH YOU.
THE BACK DOOR'S
NEVER LOCKETHED.
OUT OF HARMS WAY.
GRAVE DANGER
MAY AWAIT US.
DARKWING DUCK CREEPS
TOWARD HIS DESTINATION
WITH THE CUNNING
OF THE ALLEY CAT.
HALT!
DO YOU HAVE A PHONE?
MY CAR BROKE DOWN.
IT'S...
CRAZY.
AAH AH AAH!
OW!
OH! SPIES, SIRE!
SPIES AND INFIDELS!
ALLOW ME
TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
I AM DARKWING DUCKETH,
MAGICIAN EXTRAORDINAIRE,
HERE TO OFFER
HUMBLE SERVICES
TO THE KING.
SO, YOU ARE
A SORCERER WHO CONSORTS
WITH THE POWERS
OF DARKNESS!
GREAT. I COULD USE
A GOOD SORCERER.
YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.
A SORCERER.
I'M A SORCERER.
I'M AN INVENTOR
MYSELF.
WANT TO SEE
MY NEW INVENTION?
I WOULD BE
HONORED.
HOT DOG!
YOU'LL NEVER
GET THAT YO-YO.
HOW DID YOU
FIND ME?
I PLANTED
A HOMING DEVICE
IN YOUR PAL.
TRAITOR!
BACK STABBER!
HOW COULD YOU?
[DOOR OPENS]
GLAD TO SEE YOU TWO
ARE GETTING ALONG.
YOU'LL LOVE
MY NEW INVENTION.
I CALL IT
THE YO-YO.
YEOW!
OO-OW!
WHAT DO YOU
THINKETH?
NEEDS WORK,
BUT I LIKE IT.
WELL, I GUESS
IT'S NOT MUCH
COMPARED
TO YOUR FEATS.
WHY DON'T YOU
PUT ON A LITTLE SHOW,
MIGHTY SORCERER?
THAT'D BE GREAT!
MY MAGIC WAND'S
IN MY OTHER SUIT.
I HAVE A SPARE.
THEN
WE'RE ALL SET.
THE SHOW
COMMENCES
TONIGHT AT 7:00.
I'LL WOW THE KING
WITH CHEAP TRICKS.
QUACKERJACK WILL BE
ON THE STREET IN NO TIME.
THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
IT'S SHOW TIME!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
WHAT YOU ARE
ABOUT TO SEE
HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN
ON STAGE, SCREEN--
ON WITH THE SHOW!
OR TELEVISION.
LOOK, SIRE,
HE'S GOT SOMEONE
HIDDEN BEHIND
THE CURTAIN.
UH, UH...
LET'S GIVE
A WARM WELCOME
TO MY LOVELY
ASSISTANT BINKETH.
YEAH. AND--
OH, GOOD.
THANK YOU.
GREAT.
SUCH LOVELINESS
I HAVE NEVER SEEN.
OOH OOH!
METHINKS
I AM SMITTEN
BY HIS HANDSOMENESS.
[HERBETH]
BRAVO! BRAVO!
BRAVO!
ON WITH THE SHOW
AND STUFF.
FOR MY FIRST TRICK,
I WILL PULL A RABBIT
OUT OF MY HAT.
HEH HEH.
IT'S--ELUSIVE
LITTLE CRITTER.
HERE, BUNNY!
HERE, BUNNY!
COME HERE!
HA HA!
THE SORCERER IS A FRAUD.
WHAT'S A NICE PEASANT
LIKE YOU DOING
IN A PALACE LIKE THIS?
OOH OOH HEE HEE!
HEE HEE HEE!
O.K., MOVING RIGHT ALONG.
FOR MY NEXT TRICK,
I WILL SEPARATE
THESE METAL RINGS.
LOUSY PIECE OF JUNK.
OH, LOOK, SIRE.
HE'S A FAKE!
A FAKE!
SO, WANT TO BE MY DATE
FOR THE ROYAL BARBECUE
TOMORROW?
HMM?
IF IT PLEASETH YOU,
SIRE.
OOH HEE HEE HEE!
OOH!
[TING-A-LING]
NOW A FEAT
NEVER BEFORE ATTEMPTED.
THIS LOVELY MAIDEN
WILL VANISH
BEFORE YOUR EYES.
[LAUNCHPAD]
HERE--HERE, BUNNY.
COME HERE,
BUNNY RABBIT.
HERE--
HERE YOU GO.
ABRACADABRA!
BRAVO!
BRAVO!
HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE
UNTIL THE END.
NOW, BEFORE
YOUR VERY EYES,
SHE WILL REAPPEAR!
HEY!
WHERE'D SHE GO?
BRING HER BACK!
HEH HEH...
NOT TO WORRY.
IT'S ALL JUST PART
OF THEMAGIE.
WOE IS ME.
SHE HATH VANISHED!
HE HAS DESTROYED
THE BEAUTIFUL MAIDEN!
HE IS A WARLOCK!
PICK A CARD,
ANY CARD.
GO AHEAD.
GUARDS!
TAKE HIM TO THE DUNGEON!
HEY, D.W.,
I THINK WE'RE A HIT!
WHOA. ROUGH CROWD,
HUH, D.W.?
LAUNCHPAD, LET IT GO.
GREETINGS,
KIDS OF ALL AGES.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR HEAD?
PLAY WITH YOUR OWN TOYS?
THE KING'S NEW
EXPLODING YO-YO.
WHILE HE WORKS
ON IMPROVING IT,
I'LL BE IN CHARGE
OF YOUR INTERROGATION...
WITH HELP
FROM MY NEW PLAYMATES--
SIR CUMFERENCE
AND SIR VEILLANCE!
THE FINEST MINDS
IN THE REALM.
[RIBBIT]
[RIBBIT]
THE FROG FAILETH
TO TURN BLUE.
PROOF HE'S A WARLOCK.
THE OTHER ONE, FOOLS.
CONFESS
YOU ARE A WARLOCK!
NEVER!
GOOD! I WOULDN'T WANT
THE FUN TO END TOO SOON.
UH-OH.
HANG IN THERE.
HE'S
GETTING BORED.
CONFESS!
NEVER!
THEN FACE--
HEH HEH--
THE THUMBSCREW!
[CRASH]
I GUESS THAT
CORRESPONDENCE COURSE
IN THUMB WRESTLING
FINALLY PAID OFF.
O.K.,
FUN AND GAMES ARE OVER.
IT'S TIME TO FACE...
MR. TRIVIA BUFF!
YOU MANIAC!
NYAHH HA HA HA HA!
THE LONGEST RECORDED
FLIGHT BY A CHICKEN
IS 302 FEET, 8 INCHES.
AAH!
NO!
CONFESS!
NEVER!
THE KOALA BEAR
ISN'T A BEAR,
BUT A MARSUPIAL.
[MR.TRIVIA BUFF]
THE FIRST WRITTEN LANGUAGE
WAS A PICTOGRAPH SYSTEM...
[LAUNCHPAD]
I CONFESS!
I CONFESS!
DARKWING DUCK'S
A WARLOCK!
GOOD ENOUGH.
THANKS A LOT.
SORRY. I COULDN'T
WATCH YOU SUFFER.
WHAT HARM COULD IT DO?
IN THE JUDGMENT
OF THIS COURT,
DARKWING DUCK,
CONFESSED WARLOCK,
WILL BE BEHEADED
AT DAWN.
HEH HEH...
OH.
EASY ON THE SUIT, PAL.
I DON'T WANT HIM BEHEADED.
I JUST WANT
LOVELY BINKETH BACK.
WE'LL HAVE HER BACK
WHEN WE DESTROY
HIS BLACK MAGIC.
[GULP]
LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE.
AND WHERE WOULD THAT BE?
LIVE ANOTHER MINUTE,
YOU'LL WATCH THE SUN'S
TOTAL ECLIPSE.
GREAT. LIKE A RARE
ASTRONOMICAL EVENT
IS GOING TO DO ME ANY...
HEY...
THOU HAST ANGERED
THE GREAT DARKWING!
IF YOU DON'T RELEASE ME,
I'LL BLOCK OUT THE SUN...
FOREVER!
[GASP]
MY FICUS WILL DIETH!
ALLAKA...
ZAM!
AH!
HE'S A FAKE!
HEH HEH HEH...
UH, HOCUS POCUS!
THE ECLIPSE
IS TOMORROW!
OOPS. MAYBE YOU CAN
STALL THEM.
HURRY.
WE HAVEN'T GOT
ALL DAYETH!
KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON.
I'M NOT DONE YET.
UM, O.K...
OPEN SESAME!
ANAHEIM, AZUSA,
AND CUCAMONGA!
OKEEFENOKEE!
TIPPECANOE
AND TYLER, TOO...
I LIKE IKE...
64 40 OR FIGHT.
AND UH--
UH, BLI...
BLIND!
NOW I'M GOING BLIND!
NO, D.W.
IT'S THE ECLIPSE!
[GASPS]
TAKE IT OFF!
RELEASE HIM!
WHAT? YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
RELEASE HIM AT ONCE!
PHEW!
[CHEERING]
HE WHO CAN
BRING BACK THE SUN
SURELY CAN
BRING BACK BINKETH.
I'LL DO ANYTHING
TO GET HER BACK.
O.K.
YOU'RE ON.
SIRE, MAID BINKETH
HAS BEEN FOUNDETH!
IT'S A MIRACLE!
WELL, THAT WAS EASY.
SHE'S TIED UP IN FRONT
OF THE DRAGON'S CAVE.
YOU DID SAY
"ANYTHING."
[ROARING]
PREPARE TO MEET
THY DOOM!
[ROARING]
OR MAYBE NOT.
COWARDS!
EAT STAINLESS STEEL,
BEAST.
[ROARING]
HEH HEH...
WAIT! WAIT!
I'LL MAKE YOU
A DEAL.
THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
O.K.
I SLAY YOU,
RESCUE THE MAIDEN,
AND THEN I LEAVE.
BAD DEAL.
WAIT. WAIT.
EVEN BETTER.
PRETEND I SLAY YOU,
I LEAVE
WITH THE MAIDEN,
AND NOBODY
BOTHERS YOU AGAIN.
O.K.
IT'S A DEAL.
TEH--WELL...
THAT'S G-GREAT.
O.K., LET'S MAKE THIS
LOOK GOOD.
AHEM...
PREPARE
TO MEET THY DOOM,
FOUL LIZARD
OF THE NETHERWORLD!
[ROARING]
[GASP] SHALL WE
TRY THAT AGAIN?
HEH, SORRY.
I WASN'T THINKING.
AHEM...
PREPARE TO MEET
THY DOOM!
OOWWWEEEAAH!
OOH!
OOH!
I AM SLAIN!
SLAIN!
CUT DOWN
IN THE PRIME OF LIFE!
OH, WOE IS ME!
I AM WOE!
WOE IS WOE!
OVERDOING IT
JUST A SKOSH,
AREN'T WE?
BEHOLD!
I HAVE SLAIN THE--
I AM TRAVELING
THROUGH A TUNNEL!
YES! A TUNNEL.
THERE'S
A LIGHT AT THE END
OF THE TUNNEL!
AND BEYOND THAT--
KNOCK IT OFF!
[CRYING]
I FEAR THE WORST
HATH HAPPENED.
[CHOMPING]
AH,
THEY'LL BE FINE.
YOU GOT TO TRY
THIS FOOD.
MY APPETITE'S GONE.
I'VE EVEN LOST INTEREST
IN MY YO-YO.
[THUNK]
KEEP WORKING ON IT.
WHAT IF BINKETH
SHOULDST PERISH?
THEN I SHOULDST PERISH
WITH THOUGHTS OF THEE.
BINKETH,
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
AHH! OF COURSETH,
MY LORD.
NO WAY DARKWING
COULD'VE SLAIN
THAT DRAGON.
DARKWING DUCKETH!
DRAGON SLAYER!
YOUR HIGHNESS...
OUCH.
MIGHTY WARLOCK,
THOU DIDST
TRULY SLAY THE DRAGON?
[DRAGON]
PROMISE ME, MARTHA,
PROMISE ME.
NO MATTER
WHAT HAPPENS,
DON'T SELL THE FARM.
[DRAGON]
DON'T SELL THE FARM!
PERHAPS "SLAY"
IS TOO STRONG A WORD.
TWAS QUACKERJACK
DIDST KIDNAPPETH ME
DURING
THE MAGIC ACT.
RATFINK.
GUARDS, SEIZE HIM!
UH-OH, GOT TO GO!
LEFT A ROAST
IN THE OVEN.
EAT NUTTY PUTTY!
MEN, A SWORD!
MEN...
A TOURNIQUET.
THAT EMPTY SHELL OF METAL
WILL DO YOU NO GOOD.
ON SECOND THOUGHT,
I SEE IT'S HANDY.
HA HA HA HA!
OH, LOOK. IT IS
THE GRAF ZEPPLIN!
HAH! EAT REVERSE POLARITY
FROM MY MAGNET GUN!
[CRASH]
BOMBS AWAY!
BATTER UP!
WHOA.
I BELIEVE
THIS IS YOURS.
ONE MORE STEP
AND THE KING'S
DEAD MEAT!
EASY NOW, EASY.
JUST PUT
THE TURKEY DOWN.
O.K., HERE!
OH HO HO--
WOOO...
WHOA OH OH!
NOW I'LL REEL
THIS JOKER IN.
OOOF! OUCH!
YEOW! YAH!
OOH!
OH!
NOWTHAT'S A YO-YO.
NOW I GET IT!
[WHEEZING]
[DRAGON] SOMEDAY,
WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN...
[WHEEZE]
AND THE BREAKS ARE
GOING AGAINST THE BOYS...
COACH, TELL 'EM...
[WHEEZE]
TO WIN ONE...
[WHEEZE]
FOR THE GIPPER...
UH.
[CRASH]
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!
HA HA HA HAH!
TURN RIGHT, D.W.!
WE'RE GAINING!
AMAZING FOIL
OF QUACKERJACK.
I NEVER SAW A BOMB
DEFUSED THAT WAY.
FORTUNATELY,
MY BODY ABSORBED
THE EXPLOSION'S FORCE.
WHERE'S
THE TRACKING DEVICE
ON QUACKERJACK?
THAT PESKY DUCK
WILL NEVER FIND
MY SECRET HIDEOUT,
MR. BANANA BRAIN.
NOT UNLESS SOMEONE
SPILLS THE BEANS.
WHICH WAY, LAUNCHPAD?
TURN RIGHT.
AAH!
AAH!
HELP!
[QUACKERJACK]
YOU FOILED MY BLOWING UP
THE YO-YO FACTORY,
BUT I'M NOT DONE!
THE JIG IS UP,
JUG-HEADED
JACK-IN-THE-BOX!
IT'S MY FAULT
NO ONE WILL BUY
MY TOYS?
ALL ANYONE WANTS
ARE YO-YOs!
IF I CAN'T
DESTROY ALL YO-YOs,
I'LL DESTROY
JUST ONE--
THE FIRST YO-YO!
HA HA HAH!
HEY, WHERE'D HE GO?
THAT'S FUNNY.
ACCORDING TO THIS,
HE'S STILL THERE.
WHY ARE WE BORROWING
THE SHUSH TIME MACHINE?
BECAUSE,
LAUNCHPAD, THAT
WAS NO ORDINARY TOP.
QUACKERJACKIS STILL
IN ST. CANARD--
ONLY 700 YEARS
IN THE PAST.
WE'RE GOING BACK
IN TIME!
OH, BOY!
IN TIME FOR WHAT?
IN TIME
TO STOP QUACKERJACK
FROM DESTROYING
THE FIRST YO-YO
AND ALTERING
THE HISTORY OF TOYS!
SET TIME COORDINATES
FOR 1291.
DON'T MESS UP!
WHAT HAPPENED IN 1291?
[DARKWING]
ACCORDING
TO THIS ALMANAC,
THE YO-YO
WAS INVENTED
BY THE KING OF
MEDIEVAL CANARDIA.
1291,
LAUNCHPAD.
NO FREEWAY
CONGESTION,
NO SKYSCRAPERS
BLOCKING OUT
THE SUN...
AND NO
DARKWING TOWER!
AAH!
[SPLASH]
[COUGHING]
[BINKETH]
GADZOOKS!
WHAT MANNER
OF STRANGE FISH
BE THESE?
BINKIE?
NAY. BINKETH BE MY NAME.
SHE MUST BE
BINKIE'S ANCESTOR.
WHAT STRANGE
CLOTHS YOU WEAR.
FROM WHENCE
DO YOU HAIL?
WHAT IF I SAID
I'M FROM 700 YEARS
IN THE FUTURE?
THEN YOU
ARE A WARLOCK
AND MUST BE
BURNED.
WE'RE FROM SWEDEN.
OOH! WELCOME
TO CANARDIA,
STRANGERS.
ALLOWETH ME
TO ASSIST YOU
IN YOUR TRAVELS
HERETH.
[GUARD]
MAKE WAY
FOR THE KING!
JUST THE MAN
I WANTED TO SEE.
NONE MAY SEE HIM.
HIS NEW MINISTER
FORBIDS IT.
HE'LL SEE ME.
I'M DARKWING DUCK.
IDEMAND
TO SEE THE KING!
[HERBETH]
HALTETH!
HERB MUDDLEFOOT?
'TIS KING HERBETH
TO YOU.
QUACKERJACK!
THAT'SSIR QUACKERJACK.
SIRE,
THIS MAN IS A FRAUD
AND A KNOWN FELON!
HOLD THY TONGUE!
SIR QUACKERJACK
IS MY TRUSTED
NEW ADVISOR!
THE SIRE AND I
ARE GREAT PALS.
HA HA HA!
THIS GUY
CRACKS ME UP!
NO LIE.
YOU...
YOU
JACKANAPE!
GUARDS!
GUARDS!
THAT PUNY CRACKERBOX
IS NO MATCH
FOR MY SOPHISTICATED
KNOWLEDGE
OF MODERN TECHNOLOGY.
IF THOU ALLOWETH
ME TO HELPETH--
STEP ASIDE,
LITTLE FAIR
MAIDEN LADY.
I'LL HANDLE THIS.
UHH!
I AM THE MIGHTY
DARKWING DUCK.
I PITY THE POOR FOOL
WHO BLOCKS MY WAY!
WHOA! BOY...
WHERE BRUTE FORCE FAILS,
TRY AGILITY.
IF THOU
WOULDST BUT LISTEN...
I'VE CALCULATED
THE WALL'S
PRECISE HEIGHT
AND THE EXACT ARC
OF THE TRAJECTORY...
[CRASH]
GIVE OR TAKE
A FEW FEET.
WHERE BRUTE FORCE
AND AGILITY FAIL,
TRY INGENUITY.
A PRESENT FOR THE KING!
BRILLIANT.
ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS WAIT FOR LAUNCHPAD
TO OPEN THE DOOR!
WHAT DOOR, D.W.?
OOOOH!
[BINKETH]
YOO HOO!
UP HERE!
HOW'D YOU
GET THERE?
I TRIED TO TELLETH YOU.
THE BACK DOOR'S
NEVER LOCKETHED.
OUT OF HARMS WAY.
GRAVE DANGER
MAY AWAIT US.
DARKWING DUCK CREEPS
TOWARD HIS DESTINATION
WITH THE CUNNING
OF THE ALLEY CAT.
HALT!
DO YOU HAVE A PHONE?
MY CAR BROKE DOWN.
IT'S...
CRAZY.
AAH AH AAH!
OW!
OH! SPIES, SIRE!
SPIES AND INFIDELS!
ALLOW ME
TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
I AM DARKWING DUCKETH,
MAGICIAN EXTRAORDINAIRE,
HERE TO OFFER
HUMBLE SERVICES
TO THE KING.
SO, YOU ARE
A SORCERER WHO CONSORTS
WITH THE POWERS
OF DARKNESS!
GREAT. I COULD USE
A GOOD SORCERER.
YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.
A SORCERER.
I'M A SORCERER.
I'M AN INVENTOR
MYSELF.
WANT TO SEE
MY NEW INVENTION?
I WOULD BE
HONORED.
HOT DOG!
YOU'LL NEVER
GET THAT YO-YO.
HOW DID YOU
FIND ME?
I PLANTED
A HOMING DEVICE
IN YOUR PAL.
TRAITOR!
BACK STABBER!
HOW COULD YOU?
[DOOR OPENS]
GLAD TO SEE YOU TWO
ARE GETTING ALONG.
YOU'LL LOVE
MY NEW INVENTION.
I CALL IT
THE YO-YO.
YEOW!
OO-OW!
WHAT DO YOU
THINKETH?
NEEDS WORK,
BUT I LIKE IT.
WELL, I GUESS
IT'S NOT MUCH
COMPARED
TO YOUR FEATS.
WHY DON'T YOU
PUT ON A LITTLE SHOW,
MIGHTY SORCERER?
THAT'D BE GREAT!
MY MAGIC WAND'S
IN MY OTHER SUIT.
I HAVE A SPARE.
THEN
WE'RE ALL SET.
THE SHOW
COMMENCES
TONIGHT AT 7:00.
I'LL WOW THE KING
WITH CHEAP TRICKS.
QUACKERJACK WILL BE
ON THE STREET IN NO TIME.
THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
IT'S SHOW TIME!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
WHAT YOU ARE
ABOUT TO SEE
HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN
ON STAGE, SCREEN--
ON WITH THE SHOW!
OR TELEVISION.
LOOK, SIRE,
HE'S GOT SOMEONE
HIDDEN BEHIND
THE CURTAIN.
UH, UH...
LET'S GIVE
A WARM WELCOME
TO MY LOVELY
ASSISTANT BINKETH.
YEAH. AND--
OH, GOOD.
THANK YOU.
GREAT.
SUCH LOVELINESS
I HAVE NEVER SEEN.
OOH OOH!
METHINKS
I AM SMITTEN
BY HIS HANDSOMENESS.
[HERBETH]
BRAVO! BRAVO!
BRAVO!
ON WITH THE SHOW
AND STUFF.
FOR MY FIRST TRICK,
I WILL PULL A RABBIT
OUT OF MY HAT.
HEH HEH.
IT'S--ELUSIVE
LITTLE CRITTER.
HERE, BUNNY!
HERE, BUNNY!
COME HERE!
HA HA!
THE SORCERER IS A FRAUD.
WHAT'S A NICE PEASANT
LIKE YOU DOING
IN A PALACE LIKE THIS?
OOH OOH HEE HEE!
HEE HEE HEE!
O.K., MOVING RIGHT ALONG.
FOR MY NEXT TRICK,
I WILL SEPARATE
THESE METAL RINGS.
LOUSY PIECE OF JUNK.
OH, LOOK, SIRE.
HE'S A FAKE!
A FAKE!
SO, WANT TO BE MY DATE
FOR THE ROYAL BARBECUE
TOMORROW?
HMM?
IF IT PLEASETH YOU,
SIRE.
OOH HEE HEE HEE!
OOH!
[TING-A-LING]
NOW A FEAT
NEVER BEFORE ATTEMPTED.
THIS LOVELY MAIDEN
WILL VANISH
BEFORE YOUR EYES.
[LAUNCHPAD]
HERE--HERE, BUNNY.
COME HERE,
BUNNY RABBIT.
HERE--
HERE YOU GO.
ABRACADABRA!
BRAVO!
BRAVO!
HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE
UNTIL THE END.
NOW, BEFORE
YOUR VERY EYES,
SHE WILL REAPPEAR!
HEY!
WHERE'D SHE GO?
BRING HER BACK!
HEH HEH...
NOT TO WORRY.
IT'S ALL JUST PART
OF THEMAGIE.
WOE IS ME.
SHE HATH VANISHED!
HE HAS DESTROYED
THE BEAUTIFUL MAIDEN!
HE IS A WARLOCK!
PICK A CARD,
ANY CARD.
GO AHEAD.
GUARDS!
TAKE HIM TO THE DUNGEON!
HEY, D.W.,
I THINK WE'RE A HIT!
WHOA. ROUGH CROWD,
HUH, D.W.?
LAUNCHPAD, LET IT GO.
GREETINGS,
KIDS OF ALL AGES.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR HEAD?
PLAY WITH YOUR OWN TOYS?
THE KING'S NEW
EXPLODING YO-YO.
WHILE HE WORKS
ON IMPROVING IT,
I'LL BE IN CHARGE
OF YOUR INTERROGATION...
WITH HELP
FROM MY NEW PLAYMATES--
SIR CUMFERENCE
AND SIR VEILLANCE!
THE FINEST MINDS
IN THE REALM.
[RIBBIT]
[RIBBIT]
THE FROG FAILETH
TO TURN BLUE.
PROOF HE'S A WARLOCK.
THE OTHER ONE, FOOLS.
CONFESS
YOU ARE A WARLOCK!
NEVER!
GOOD! I WOULDN'T WANT
THE FUN TO END TOO SOON.
UH-OH.
HANG IN THERE.
HE'S
GETTING BORED.
CONFESS!
NEVER!
THEN FACE--
HEH HEH--
THE THUMBSCREW!
[CRASH]
I GUESS THAT
CORRESPONDENCE COURSE
IN THUMB WRESTLING
FINALLY PAID OFF.
O.K.,
FUN AND GAMES ARE OVER.
IT'S TIME TO FACE...
MR. TRIVIA BUFF!
YOU MANIAC!
NYAHH HA HA HA HA!
THE LONGEST RECORDED
FLIGHT BY A CHICKEN
IS 302 FEET, 8 INCHES.
AAH!
NO!
CONFESS!
NEVER!
THE KOALA BEAR
ISN'T A BEAR,
BUT A MARSUPIAL.
[MR.TRIVIA BUFF]
THE FIRST WRITTEN LANGUAGE
WAS A PICTOGRAPH SYSTEM...
[LAUNCHPAD]
I CONFESS!
I CONFESS!
DARKWING DUCK'S
A WARLOCK!
GOOD ENOUGH.
THANKS A LOT.
SORRY. I COULDN'T
WATCH YOU SUFFER.
WHAT HARM COULD IT DO?
IN THE JUDGMENT
OF THIS COURT,
DARKWING DUCK,
CONFESSED WARLOCK,
WILL BE BEHEADED
AT DAWN.
HEH HEH...
OH.
EASY ON THE SUIT, PAL.
I DON'T WANT HIM BEHEADED.
I JUST WANT
LOVELY BINKETH BACK.
WE'LL HAVE HER BACK
WHEN WE DESTROY
HIS BLACK MAGIC.
[GULP]
LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE.
AND WHERE WOULD THAT BE?
LIVE ANOTHER MINUTE,
YOU'LL WATCH THE SUN'S
TOTAL ECLIPSE.
GREAT. LIKE A RARE
ASTRONOMICAL EVENT
IS GOING TO DO ME ANY...
HEY...
THOU HAST ANGERED
THE GREAT DARKWING!
IF YOU DON'T RELEASE ME,
I'LL BLOCK OUT THE SUN...
FOREVER!
[GASP]
MY FICUS WILL DIETH!
ALLAKA...
ZAM!
AH!
HE'S A FAKE!
HEH HEH HEH...
UH, HOCUS POCUS!
THE ECLIPSE
IS TOMORROW!
OOPS. MAYBE YOU CAN
STALL THEM.
HURRY.
WE HAVEN'T GOT
ALL DAYETH!
KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON.
I'M NOT DONE YET.
UM, O.K...
OPEN SESAME!
ANAHEIM, AZUSA,
AND CUCAMONGA!
OKEEFENOKEE!
TIPPECANOE
AND TYLER, TOO...
I LIKE IKE...
64 40 OR FIGHT.
AND UH--
UH, BLI...
BLIND!
NOW I'M GOING BLIND!
NO, D.W.
IT'S THE ECLIPSE!
[GASPS]
TAKE IT OFF!
RELEASE HIM!
WHAT? YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
RELEASE HIM AT ONCE!
PHEW!
[CHEERING]
HE WHO CAN
BRING BACK THE SUN
SURELY CAN
BRING BACK BINKETH.
I'LL DO ANYTHING
TO GET HER BACK.
O.K.
YOU'RE ON.
SIRE, MAID BINKETH
HAS BEEN FOUNDETH!
IT'S A MIRACLE!
WELL, THAT WAS EASY.
SHE'S TIED UP IN FRONT
OF THE DRAGON'S CAVE.
YOU DID SAY
"ANYTHING."
[ROARING]
PREPARE TO MEET
THY DOOM!
[ROARING]
OR MAYBE NOT.
COWARDS!
EAT STAINLESS STEEL,
BEAST.
[ROARING]
HEH HEH...
WAIT! WAIT!
I'LL MAKE YOU
A DEAL.
THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
O.K.
I SLAY YOU,
RESCUE THE MAIDEN,
AND THEN I LEAVE.
BAD DEAL.
WAIT. WAIT.
EVEN BETTER.
PRETEND I SLAY YOU,
I LEAVE
WITH THE MAIDEN,
AND NOBODY
BOTHERS YOU AGAIN.
O.K.
IT'S A DEAL.
TEH--WELL...
THAT'S G-GREAT.
O.K., LET'S MAKE THIS
LOOK GOOD.
AHEM...
PREPARE
TO MEET THY DOOM,
FOUL LIZARD
OF THE NETHERWORLD!
[ROARING]
[GASP] SHALL WE
TRY THAT AGAIN?
HEH, SORRY.
I WASN'T THINKING.
AHEM...
PREPARE TO MEET
THY DOOM!
OOWWWEEEAAH!
OOH!
OOH!
I AM SLAIN!
SLAIN!
CUT DOWN
IN THE PRIME OF LIFE!
OH, WOE IS ME!
I AM WOE!
WOE IS WOE!
OVERDOING IT
JUST A SKOSH,
AREN'T WE?
BEHOLD!
I HAVE SLAIN THE--
I AM TRAVELING
THROUGH A TUNNEL!
YES! A TUNNEL.
THERE'S
A LIGHT AT THE END
OF THE TUNNEL!
AND BEYOND THAT--
KNOCK IT OFF!
[CRYING]
I FEAR THE WORST
HATH HAPPENED.
[CHOMPING]
AH,
THEY'LL BE FINE.
YOU GOT TO TRY
THIS FOOD.
MY APPETITE'S GONE.
I'VE EVEN LOST INTEREST
IN MY YO-YO.
[THUNK]
KEEP WORKING ON IT.
WHAT IF BINKETH
SHOULDST PERISH?
THEN I SHOULDST PERISH
WITH THOUGHTS OF THEE.
BINKETH,
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
AHH! OF COURSETH,
MY LORD.
NO WAY DARKWING
COULD'VE SLAIN
THAT DRAGON.
DARKWING DUCKETH!
DRAGON SLAYER!
YOUR HIGHNESS...
OUCH.
MIGHTY WARLOCK,
THOU DIDST
TRULY SLAY THE DRAGON?
[DRAGON]
PROMISE ME, MARTHA,
PROMISE ME.
NO MATTER
WHAT HAPPENS,
DON'T SELL THE FARM.
[DRAGON]
DON'T SELL THE FARM!
PERHAPS "SLAY"
IS TOO STRONG A WORD.
TWAS QUACKERJACK
DIDST KIDNAPPETH ME
DURING
THE MAGIC ACT.
RATFINK.
GUARDS, SEIZE HIM!
UH-OH, GOT TO GO!
LEFT A ROAST
IN THE OVEN.
EAT NUTTY PUTTY!
MEN, A SWORD!
MEN...
A TOURNIQUET.
THAT EMPTY SHELL OF METAL
WILL DO YOU NO GOOD.
ON SECOND THOUGHT,
I SEE IT'S HANDY.
HA HA HA HA!
OH, LOOK. IT IS
THE GRAF ZEPPLIN!
HAH! EAT REVERSE POLARITY
FROM MY MAGNET GUN!
[CRASH]
BOMBS AWAY!
BATTER UP!
WHOA.
I BELIEVE
THIS IS YOURS.
ONE MORE STEP
AND THE KING'S
DEAD MEAT!
EASY NOW, EASY.
JUST PUT
THE TURKEY DOWN.
O.K., HERE!
OH HO HO--
WOOO...
WHOA OH OH!
NOW I'LL REEL
THIS JOKER IN.
OOOF! OUCH!
YEOW! YAH!
OOH!
OH!
NOWTHAT'S A YO-YO.
NOW I GET IT!
[WHEEZING]
[DRAGON] SOMEDAY,
WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN...
[WHEEZE]
AND THE BREAKS ARE
GOING AGAINST THE BOYS...
COACH, TELL 'EM...
[WHEEZE]
TO WIN ONE...
[WHEEZE]
FOR THE GIPPER...
UH.
[CRASH]