Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 1, Episode 43 - Dances with Bigfoot - full transcript
When Gosalyn awakes one morning to find her dad missing and his room a wreck, she dons the garb of the Crimson Avenger to track him down. She finally finds him with an Indian tribe in the remote north west, only to discover that the tribe intends to feed him to their volcano god!
♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF
THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME
VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE
OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
WHY CAN'T I HELP
WHILE LAUNCHPAD'S
ON VACATION?
I COULD LEARN
YOUR SECRETS.
BECAUSE YOU DON'T
HAVE EXPERIENCE.
WHO NEEDS EXPERIENCE
WHEN YOU'VE GOT
INGENUITY?
FOR I AM
THE CRIMSON QUACKETTE!
I'VE RIGGED THIS PLACE
WITH BOOBY-TRAPS.
BOOBY-TRAPS? HAH!
YOU CAN'T MAKE
A SANDWICH,
LET ALONE
BOOBY-TRAPS.
[CRASH]
GOSALYN, GET ME
OUT OF HERE!
WHAT'S THE MAGIC WORD?
GROUNDED.
RECIPES FOR FREEZE-GAS--
MIX ONE PART
LIQUID NITROGEN
TO TWO PARTS
GINGIVITIS...
AND FINALLY ONE PART...
MICROPHONE.
WHA-WHAT THE...
SO...
I'M BEING BUGGED, EH?
LET'S FIND OUT
WHAT EVIL-DOER
IS BEHIND THIS ONE.
IS IT A FIENDISH
EXPLOIT,
A SECRET GOVERNMENT PLOT--
ANOTHER EPISODE
OF ST. CANARD'S
MOST EMBARRASSING
HOME VIDEOS?
AH-HA!
WHAT?
I AM BUSY ENOUGH
WITHOUT YOU GETTING
IN THE WAY.
AM I GETTING THROUGH
TO YOU?
[SNORING]
I WORE HER OUT.
SHE'LL SLEEP WELL TONIGHT.
YOO-HOO, DAD.
TIME TO GET UP.
RISE AND SHINE!
DAD?
THAT'S WEIRD.
HE NEVER GETS UP
BEFORE NOON...
UNLESS HE'S GOT
A MISSION.
WAIT A MINUTE.
DAD'S COSTUME!
HE'D NEVER GO
ON A MISSION WITHOUT IT.
I SMELL TROUBLE.
GOS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
SOMETHING'S
HAPPENED TO DAD.
I'M LOOKING
FOR CLUES.
WHAT'S THIS?
OUR FIRST CLUE.
IT LOOKS
LIKE A FLUTE.
AAH!
HE'S BEEN KIDNAPPED
BY THE ST. CANARD
JAZZ ENSEMBLE.
HMM...
IT'S NOT A FLUTE.
IT'S A BLOWGUN.
[SNIFFS]
HMM...
RARE LOBLOLLY PINE,
INDIGENOUS
TO NORTHEAST ASIA.
IT'S PLASTIC
WOOD GRAIN.
BUT A REMARKABLE
FACSIMILE
OF LOBLOLLY PINE.
EEWWWW! WHAT'S
THAT AWFUL SMELL?
MUST BE
KNOCKOUT GAS.
EEWWW, IT'S YOUR DAD'S
CHEAP COLOGNE.
SEE?
KNOCKOUT GAS.
WHOA!
LOOK AT THAT,
HONK!
DAD'S BEEN KIDNAPPED
BY TERMITES.
GOSALYN...
THEY MUST BE AWFULLY
BIG TERMITES.
WOW. THAT'S IT, HONK!
I'VE GOT IT.
BIGFOOT!
BIGFOOT'S GOT MY DAD!
THERE'S NO SUCH THING.
THAT'S SOMETHING
FROM A COMIC.
COMIC? HAH!
IT'S A COLLECTOR'S EDITION
FROM MY BIGFOOT COMIC--
RESEARCH MATERIALS.
LOOK, GOS, THERE'S
SOMETHING WRITTEN
ON THE BLOWGUN.
WOW! STRANGE
HIEROGLYPHIC SYMBOLS.
"IF FOUND, PLEASE RETURN
TO BIGFOOT TRIBE,
GREAT
PACIFIC NORTHWEST."
YOU CAN
READ BIGFOOT?
YOU WERE READING
UPSIDE DOWN.
THEY'RE CLEVER
TO PRINT UPSIDE DOWN.
THERE'S
ONLY ONE THING!
THE GREAT
PACIFIC NORTHWEST
OR BUST.
HOW ARE WE GOING
TO GET THERE?
AUTO-PILOT
COORDINATES SET?
CHECK.
IGNITION.
CHECK.
FLYING ACE
SCARVES...
CHECK!
LET'S GO.
AAH!
EJECTOR SEATS...
CHECK.
HOW ARE WE
GOING TO FIND DAD?
[TV REMOTE BUZZES ON]
BORED WITH YOUR JOB?
BECOME A ZEPPELIN
OPERATOR TODAY!
REMEMBER,
AT DOTTIE DEBSON'S
DIRIGIBLE DRIVING SCHOOL,
WE'RE FULL
OF HOT AIR!
COME IN RIGHT NOW
FOR A FREE TEST DRIVE.
TURN LEFT.
NO. THE OTHER LEFT.
WATCH OUT
FOR POWER LINES!
[GASPS]
WAY TO GO.
LOOK OUT!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
WE MUST BE MILLIONS
OF MILES FROM HOME.
HUH, GOSALYN...
THE ST. CANARD TOWERS.
OR NOT.
TIME FOR A NEW STRATEGY.
WE'VE GOT TO FIND A WAY
TO THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST.
WE'LL BUY BUS
OR PLANE TICKETS.
WE DON'T HAVE MONEY
TO BUY A STAMP.
WHOA, HONK!
MAJOR BRAINSTORM
COMING THROUGH.
YOU MAKE THAT SOUND
LIKE A GOOD THING.
OW!
WATCH IT!
ARE YOU,
"A RANGER, RANGER STATION,
SOMEWHERE
IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST?"
I GUESS SO.
THEN THIS
IS FOR YOU--
$79.99 C.O.D.
DARN THAT BOOK CLUB.
NEXT TIME I'M WAITING
FOR THE PAPERBACK!
SNAKE!
AAH!
DON'T BE SUCH A BABY.
IT'S A HARMLESS TWIG.
[SSST]
SNAKE!
WAIT FOR ME!
WE'RE LOST, GOS.
YEAH.
WHAT WOULD
DARKWING DUCK
DO NOW?
I'D DETERMINE
OUR LOCATION
BY THE NORTH STAR
IF IT WOULD
HOLD STILL.
THAT'S NOT
THE NORTH STAR.
IT'S OUR ZEPPELIN.
THANKS, COPERNICUS.
WELCOME.
ACCORDING
TO THIS MAP,
WE'RE STANDING
IN THE CENTER
OF THE GIANT
QUICKSAND PIT.
QUICKSAND!
QUICKSAND!
AAH!
AAH!
DON'T WORRY, HONK.
I'VE GOT THIS WIRED.
CRIMSON QUACKETTE
TO THE RESCUE!
IN A FEW SHORT SECONDS,
WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY.
TO A HORRIBLE DEATH
BY SUFFOCATION.
[GRUNTING]
THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE.
OH,
IT'S NO USE, HONK.
WE'LL NEVER
FIND DAD.
WE MIGHT AS WELL
ADMIT DEFEAT.
[SNIFFING]
THAT SMELL!
I'D KNOW THAT
STENCH ANYWHERE.
IT'S DAD'S COLOGNE.
NO! NO!
STOP!
I CAN'T
TAKE IT!
IT IS MY DAD!
[DRUMS BEATING]
PLEASE!
NO MORE!
DAD MUST BE
IN REALLY BIG TROUBLE.
[SLAPPING]
THEY'RE TREATING HIM
LIKE A GOD.
AFTER ALL OUR TROUBLE.
TOO MUCH OREGANO.
AH! HE'S NOT
BEING MASSAGED.
HE'S BEING MARINATED.
WEDDING?
I'M NOT INVITED?
NOT MARRIED.
MARINATED!
ACCORDING TO THIS,
THEY FEED VICTIMS
TO A VOLCANO GOD.
WE'VE GOT
TO SAVE HIM, HONK!
PSST! DAD!
PSST!
GOSALYN?
GOSALYN!
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
THE CRIMSON QUACKETTE
TO THE RESCUE!
I BROUGHT
YOUR DARKWING STUFF.
RESCUE ME FROM WHAT?
THEY'RE NUTS ABOUT ME HERE.
I'M DESCENDED
FROM ONE OF THEIR GODS--
A HANDSOME ONE.
THAT'S
THE SNACK GOD,
THE GLUTTON GOD'S
FAVORITE MEAL!
IN OTHER WORDS,
YOU'RE VOLCANO CHOW, SIR.
PFFT!
NONSENSE!
I'LL SETTLE THIS
RIGHT NOW.
HUBLA HUBLA HUBLA!
BARCALOUNGER!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
COMFY CHAIR
TO YOU, TOO, PAL.
WHAT'S THE...
LOWDOWN...
ON THE VOLCANO...
BUB?
[TEETH CHATTERING]
GAH...
SOME HOST.
TOLD YOU SO!
TEH! I'LL SIMPLY
FRIGHTEN THESE PRIMITIVES
WITH A DISPLAY
OF MY HI-TECH PROWESS.
I AM THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
AHH!
OH!
AH!
I AM THE INGROWN TOENAIL
IN YOUR PARTY PUMPS!
I'LL TRANSLATE
FROM MY COMIC--
DICTIONARY.
REPEAT AFTER ME.
HERE'S WHAT YOU DO...
[WHISPERING]
HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA!
SHAMA LAMA DING DONG!
[WHOOPING]
WHAT'D I SAY?
"DON'T FEED ME
TO THE VOLCANO.
I'M UNWORTHY."
OR "BRING ON THE WARRIORS.
I AM UNAFRAID."
I'M TOAST.
IF YOU PASS
THEIR TESTS,
THEY WON'T
THROW YOU
IN THE VOLCANO.
HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA!
E PLURIBUS UNUM!
THEY ACCEPT
YOUR CHALLENGE.
YOU CAN EITHER WALK
THE INESCAPABLE
PIT OF DEATH
OR FIGHT THE WARRIOR
NAMED BORN WITH DELICATE
BONE STRUCTURE.
NOW YOU'LL SEE
REAL ACTION.
NO LITTLE
GIRL STUFF.
HONK-MAN, CATCH HER
IF SHE FAINTS.
[BELL RINGS]
GREETINGS,
BORN WITH DELICATE
BONE STRUCTURE...
AND FISTS THE SIZE
OF CASABA MELONS?
SUCK GAS, NEANDERTHAL!
TEH...OF COURSE
N-NOTHING PERSONAL.
[BODY SLAMS]
I SHOULD
HAVE CLEANED
THE QUICKSAND
FROM THE GUN.
WE NEED
A DIVERSION!
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
LOOK AT ME!
LOOK AT ME!
BE ASCARED,
YOU SUPERSTITIOUS...
[GULP]
PRI-PRIMITIVES.
WH-WH-WH-WHOA!
OOH.
OOH.
YEAH, YEAH.
THE BIGGER THEY ARE...
[WHOOPING]
THANKS, GOS. I CAN HANDLE
THE NEXT TEST ON MY OWN.
HUMINA HUMINA!
BEBOP A LULA!
WHAT'D HE SAY?
IT'S TIME
FOR THE FINAL TEST.
OH! THE DARING DENIZEN
OF DECENCY
FACES THE MOST
INFAMOUS TEST
OF STRENGTH
AND ENDURANCE...
[GULPS]
THE DREADED
DANCE MARATHON!
[SAMBA PLAYING]
IT'S NO USE, GOS.
I CAN'T MAKE IT.
HANG ON, DAD!
YEOW!
HEY! WHAAH! OOH!
AH!
[CRASH]
HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA.
DANCES WITH BIGFOOT!
HUMINA,
HUMINA, HUMINA!
HUMINA,
HUMINA, HUMINA!
HUMINA,
HUMINA, HUMINA!
HUMINA,
HUMINA, HUMINA!
HUMINA, HUMINA...
YOU'D THINK
HE DID IT ALONE.
I DESERVE CREDIT.
ME PROUD DAUGHTER
OF DANCES WITH BIGFOOT.
I'M RESPONSIBLE
FOR HIM PASSING
THOSE TESTS.
I DEMAND
THE SAME TREATMENT.
HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA.
SOUP DE JOUR.
HEH-HEH.
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
YOU HAVE PASSED
THE TESTS.
YOU ARE FREE TO GO.
OR...YOU HAVE
PASSED THE TESTS,
THEREFORE
YOU'RE WORTHY
OF THE VOLCANO.
REMIND ME TO THANK YOU
FOR HELPING DADDY PASS.
ANY BRIGHT IDEAS,
CRIMSON QUACKETTE?
THE QUACKETTE DEFERS
TO THE FATHER ON THIS.
BOY,
THAT'S GETTING
ON MY NERVES.
I'VE GOT AN IDEA!
TELL THEM
IT'S A GIANT BIRD GOD
DEMANDING OUR FREEDOM.
HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA.
TOPO GIGGIO.
[MUTTERING]
WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?
THEY CAN'T SEE IT.
THE ZEPPELIN'S
IN THE WAY.
AAH!
HANG ON, KIDS!
SO...
THIS IS WHAT A VOLCANO
LOOKS LIKE INSIDE.
WHAT A DUMP.
COOL LAVA, HUH?
DID YOU SAY "LAVA?"
AAH!
I'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND
A WAY TO GET TO THE TOP.
BEFORE OR AFTER
WE'RE BOILED ALIVE?
HOLD ON.
I'LL TAKE US UP!
I MUST CENTER MYSELF,
FOCUSING ON THE TEACHINGS
OF TIBETAN YOGIS
I LEARNED AS A LAD.
FORGET
THE YOGI PART.
I'VE AN IDEA.
I MUST CONCENTRATE
ON MY MANTRA.
A-E-I-O-U...
AND SOMETIMES "Y"...
A-E-I-O-U...
GOS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
DON'T WORRY.
I'VE GOT A PLAN.
I'LL SAVE US.
MY BODY HAS BECOME
ONE WITH THE OTHER.
I AM WHOLE.
I AM FREE.
RELAX, HONK-MEISTER.
I'M AN EXPERT
AT SLINGSHOT
TECHNOLOGY.
SO, THE YOGI TELLS ME,
"BEETLENUT, SNATCH
THE PEBBLES FROM MY HAND."
THEN I SAY,
"WHO YOU CALLING
A BEETLENUT, BONEHEAD?"
THAT WAS THE BEGINNING
OF THE END.
READY?
1...2...3!
SHOULDN'T MY BURDEN
BE LIGHTER BY NOW?
YEAH! TOLD YOU THAT
YOGI CRUD WORKED, GOS.
[RUMBLING]
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
BLAH!
[SHOUTING]
TYPICAL!
THE VOLCANO MISSES
ONE LOUSY MEAL,
AND THEY RAMPAGE.
HEAD FOR THE LAKE!
YIKES!
JUMP ON MY SHOULDERS.
OW!
THANKS, SWEETIE.
READY?
UH-1...2...
UH-1...2...3...4!
THOSE MURRAY ARTHUR
FIRE DANCE LESSONS
CAME IN HANDY.
WOW! THAT WAS
MAJOR COOL!
YOU DIDN'T
EVEN FLINCH!
IT WAS NOTHING.
HEH HEH.
OF COURSE
I AM A PROFESSIONAL.
AHH!
LOOKS LIKE
WE'RE HOME FREE!
PERSISTENT
LITTLE SQUIRTS,
AREN'T THEY?
PULL OVER
TO THAT BUSH!
YOU SHOULD'VE
DONE THAT
BEFORE LEAVING.
ACCORDING
TO MY CALCULATIONS,
BEHIND THAT BUSH
WE'LL FIND...
THE THUNDERQUACK!
THE AUTO-PILOT WORKED.
HAH! LET'S SEE THEM
CATCH US NOW!
[ENGINE STARTS]
[ENGINE DIES]
[GRUMBLING]
IT WAS FUN WORKING
TOGETHER, HUH?
YEAH.
WE WON'T HEAR
FROM THEM.
WE TAUGHT THEM
A LESSON.
YEAH. I DOUBT
THEY'LL BE SACRIFICING
ANY TOTEM POLE
LOOK-A-LIKES FOR A WHILE!
HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA.
CLOD GOD!
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF
THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME
VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE
OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
WHY CAN'T I HELP
WHILE LAUNCHPAD'S
ON VACATION?
I COULD LEARN
YOUR SECRETS.
BECAUSE YOU DON'T
HAVE EXPERIENCE.
WHO NEEDS EXPERIENCE
WHEN YOU'VE GOT
INGENUITY?
FOR I AM
THE CRIMSON QUACKETTE!
I'VE RIGGED THIS PLACE
WITH BOOBY-TRAPS.
BOOBY-TRAPS? HAH!
YOU CAN'T MAKE
A SANDWICH,
LET ALONE
BOOBY-TRAPS.
[CRASH]
GOSALYN, GET ME
OUT OF HERE!
WHAT'S THE MAGIC WORD?
GROUNDED.
RECIPES FOR FREEZE-GAS--
MIX ONE PART
LIQUID NITROGEN
TO TWO PARTS
GINGIVITIS...
AND FINALLY ONE PART...
MICROPHONE.
WHA-WHAT THE...
SO...
I'M BEING BUGGED, EH?
LET'S FIND OUT
WHAT EVIL-DOER
IS BEHIND THIS ONE.
IS IT A FIENDISH
EXPLOIT,
A SECRET GOVERNMENT PLOT--
ANOTHER EPISODE
OF ST. CANARD'S
MOST EMBARRASSING
HOME VIDEOS?
AH-HA!
WHAT?
I AM BUSY ENOUGH
WITHOUT YOU GETTING
IN THE WAY.
AM I GETTING THROUGH
TO YOU?
[SNORING]
I WORE HER OUT.
SHE'LL SLEEP WELL TONIGHT.
YOO-HOO, DAD.
TIME TO GET UP.
RISE AND SHINE!
DAD?
THAT'S WEIRD.
HE NEVER GETS UP
BEFORE NOON...
UNLESS HE'S GOT
A MISSION.
WAIT A MINUTE.
DAD'S COSTUME!
HE'D NEVER GO
ON A MISSION WITHOUT IT.
I SMELL TROUBLE.
GOS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
SOMETHING'S
HAPPENED TO DAD.
I'M LOOKING
FOR CLUES.
WHAT'S THIS?
OUR FIRST CLUE.
IT LOOKS
LIKE A FLUTE.
AAH!
HE'S BEEN KIDNAPPED
BY THE ST. CANARD
JAZZ ENSEMBLE.
HMM...
IT'S NOT A FLUTE.
IT'S A BLOWGUN.
[SNIFFS]
HMM...
RARE LOBLOLLY PINE,
INDIGENOUS
TO NORTHEAST ASIA.
IT'S PLASTIC
WOOD GRAIN.
BUT A REMARKABLE
FACSIMILE
OF LOBLOLLY PINE.
EEWWWW! WHAT'S
THAT AWFUL SMELL?
MUST BE
KNOCKOUT GAS.
EEWWW, IT'S YOUR DAD'S
CHEAP COLOGNE.
SEE?
KNOCKOUT GAS.
WHOA!
LOOK AT THAT,
HONK!
DAD'S BEEN KIDNAPPED
BY TERMITES.
GOSALYN...
THEY MUST BE AWFULLY
BIG TERMITES.
WOW. THAT'S IT, HONK!
I'VE GOT IT.
BIGFOOT!
BIGFOOT'S GOT MY DAD!
THERE'S NO SUCH THING.
THAT'S SOMETHING
FROM A COMIC.
COMIC? HAH!
IT'S A COLLECTOR'S EDITION
FROM MY BIGFOOT COMIC--
RESEARCH MATERIALS.
LOOK, GOS, THERE'S
SOMETHING WRITTEN
ON THE BLOWGUN.
WOW! STRANGE
HIEROGLYPHIC SYMBOLS.
"IF FOUND, PLEASE RETURN
TO BIGFOOT TRIBE,
GREAT
PACIFIC NORTHWEST."
YOU CAN
READ BIGFOOT?
YOU WERE READING
UPSIDE DOWN.
THEY'RE CLEVER
TO PRINT UPSIDE DOWN.
THERE'S
ONLY ONE THING!
THE GREAT
PACIFIC NORTHWEST
OR BUST.
HOW ARE WE GOING
TO GET THERE?
AUTO-PILOT
COORDINATES SET?
CHECK.
IGNITION.
CHECK.
FLYING ACE
SCARVES...
CHECK!
LET'S GO.
AAH!
EJECTOR SEATS...
CHECK.
HOW ARE WE
GOING TO FIND DAD?
[TV REMOTE BUZZES ON]
BORED WITH YOUR JOB?
BECOME A ZEPPELIN
OPERATOR TODAY!
REMEMBER,
AT DOTTIE DEBSON'S
DIRIGIBLE DRIVING SCHOOL,
WE'RE FULL
OF HOT AIR!
COME IN RIGHT NOW
FOR A FREE TEST DRIVE.
TURN LEFT.
NO. THE OTHER LEFT.
WATCH OUT
FOR POWER LINES!
[GASPS]
WAY TO GO.
LOOK OUT!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
WE MUST BE MILLIONS
OF MILES FROM HOME.
HUH, GOSALYN...
THE ST. CANARD TOWERS.
OR NOT.
TIME FOR A NEW STRATEGY.
WE'VE GOT TO FIND A WAY
TO THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST.
WE'LL BUY BUS
OR PLANE TICKETS.
WE DON'T HAVE MONEY
TO BUY A STAMP.
WHOA, HONK!
MAJOR BRAINSTORM
COMING THROUGH.
YOU MAKE THAT SOUND
LIKE A GOOD THING.
OW!
WATCH IT!
ARE YOU,
"A RANGER, RANGER STATION,
SOMEWHERE
IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST?"
I GUESS SO.
THEN THIS
IS FOR YOU--
$79.99 C.O.D.
DARN THAT BOOK CLUB.
NEXT TIME I'M WAITING
FOR THE PAPERBACK!
SNAKE!
AAH!
DON'T BE SUCH A BABY.
IT'S A HARMLESS TWIG.
[SSST]
SNAKE!
WAIT FOR ME!
WE'RE LOST, GOS.
YEAH.
WHAT WOULD
DARKWING DUCK
DO NOW?
I'D DETERMINE
OUR LOCATION
BY THE NORTH STAR
IF IT WOULD
HOLD STILL.
THAT'S NOT
THE NORTH STAR.
IT'S OUR ZEPPELIN.
THANKS, COPERNICUS.
WELCOME.
ACCORDING
TO THIS MAP,
WE'RE STANDING
IN THE CENTER
OF THE GIANT
QUICKSAND PIT.
QUICKSAND!
QUICKSAND!
AAH!
AAH!
DON'T WORRY, HONK.
I'VE GOT THIS WIRED.
CRIMSON QUACKETTE
TO THE RESCUE!
IN A FEW SHORT SECONDS,
WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY.
TO A HORRIBLE DEATH
BY SUFFOCATION.
[GRUNTING]
THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE.
OH,
IT'S NO USE, HONK.
WE'LL NEVER
FIND DAD.
WE MIGHT AS WELL
ADMIT DEFEAT.
[SNIFFING]
THAT SMELL!
I'D KNOW THAT
STENCH ANYWHERE.
IT'S DAD'S COLOGNE.
NO! NO!
STOP!
I CAN'T
TAKE IT!
IT IS MY DAD!
[DRUMS BEATING]
PLEASE!
NO MORE!
DAD MUST BE
IN REALLY BIG TROUBLE.
[SLAPPING]
THEY'RE TREATING HIM
LIKE A GOD.
AFTER ALL OUR TROUBLE.
TOO MUCH OREGANO.
AH! HE'S NOT
BEING MASSAGED.
HE'S BEING MARINATED.
WEDDING?
I'M NOT INVITED?
NOT MARRIED.
MARINATED!
ACCORDING TO THIS,
THEY FEED VICTIMS
TO A VOLCANO GOD.
WE'VE GOT
TO SAVE HIM, HONK!
PSST! DAD!
PSST!
GOSALYN?
GOSALYN!
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
THE CRIMSON QUACKETTE
TO THE RESCUE!
I BROUGHT
YOUR DARKWING STUFF.
RESCUE ME FROM WHAT?
THEY'RE NUTS ABOUT ME HERE.
I'M DESCENDED
FROM ONE OF THEIR GODS--
A HANDSOME ONE.
THAT'S
THE SNACK GOD,
THE GLUTTON GOD'S
FAVORITE MEAL!
IN OTHER WORDS,
YOU'RE VOLCANO CHOW, SIR.
PFFT!
NONSENSE!
I'LL SETTLE THIS
RIGHT NOW.
HUBLA HUBLA HUBLA!
BARCALOUNGER!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
COMFY CHAIR
TO YOU, TOO, PAL.
WHAT'S THE...
LOWDOWN...
ON THE VOLCANO...
BUB?
[TEETH CHATTERING]
GAH...
SOME HOST.
TOLD YOU SO!
TEH! I'LL SIMPLY
FRIGHTEN THESE PRIMITIVES
WITH A DISPLAY
OF MY HI-TECH PROWESS.
I AM THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
AHH!
OH!
AH!
I AM THE INGROWN TOENAIL
IN YOUR PARTY PUMPS!
I'LL TRANSLATE
FROM MY COMIC--
DICTIONARY.
REPEAT AFTER ME.
HERE'S WHAT YOU DO...
[WHISPERING]
HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA!
SHAMA LAMA DING DONG!
[WHOOPING]
WHAT'D I SAY?
"DON'T FEED ME
TO THE VOLCANO.
I'M UNWORTHY."
OR "BRING ON THE WARRIORS.
I AM UNAFRAID."
I'M TOAST.
IF YOU PASS
THEIR TESTS,
THEY WON'T
THROW YOU
IN THE VOLCANO.
HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA!
E PLURIBUS UNUM!
THEY ACCEPT
YOUR CHALLENGE.
YOU CAN EITHER WALK
THE INESCAPABLE
PIT OF DEATH
OR FIGHT THE WARRIOR
NAMED BORN WITH DELICATE
BONE STRUCTURE.
NOW YOU'LL SEE
REAL ACTION.
NO LITTLE
GIRL STUFF.
HONK-MAN, CATCH HER
IF SHE FAINTS.
[BELL RINGS]
GREETINGS,
BORN WITH DELICATE
BONE STRUCTURE...
AND FISTS THE SIZE
OF CASABA MELONS?
SUCK GAS, NEANDERTHAL!
TEH...OF COURSE
N-NOTHING PERSONAL.
[BODY SLAMS]
I SHOULD
HAVE CLEANED
THE QUICKSAND
FROM THE GUN.
WE NEED
A DIVERSION!
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
LOOK AT ME!
LOOK AT ME!
BE ASCARED,
YOU SUPERSTITIOUS...
[GULP]
PRI-PRIMITIVES.
WH-WH-WH-WHOA!
OOH.
OOH.
YEAH, YEAH.
THE BIGGER THEY ARE...
[WHOOPING]
THANKS, GOS. I CAN HANDLE
THE NEXT TEST ON MY OWN.
HUMINA HUMINA!
BEBOP A LULA!
WHAT'D HE SAY?
IT'S TIME
FOR THE FINAL TEST.
OH! THE DARING DENIZEN
OF DECENCY
FACES THE MOST
INFAMOUS TEST
OF STRENGTH
AND ENDURANCE...
[GULPS]
THE DREADED
DANCE MARATHON!
[SAMBA PLAYING]
IT'S NO USE, GOS.
I CAN'T MAKE IT.
HANG ON, DAD!
YEOW!
HEY! WHAAH! OOH!
AH!
[CRASH]
HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA.
DANCES WITH BIGFOOT!
HUMINA,
HUMINA, HUMINA!
HUMINA,
HUMINA, HUMINA!
HUMINA,
HUMINA, HUMINA!
HUMINA,
HUMINA, HUMINA!
HUMINA, HUMINA...
YOU'D THINK
HE DID IT ALONE.
I DESERVE CREDIT.
ME PROUD DAUGHTER
OF DANCES WITH BIGFOOT.
I'M RESPONSIBLE
FOR HIM PASSING
THOSE TESTS.
I DEMAND
THE SAME TREATMENT.
HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA.
SOUP DE JOUR.
HEH-HEH.
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
YOU HAVE PASSED
THE TESTS.
YOU ARE FREE TO GO.
OR...YOU HAVE
PASSED THE TESTS,
THEREFORE
YOU'RE WORTHY
OF THE VOLCANO.
REMIND ME TO THANK YOU
FOR HELPING DADDY PASS.
ANY BRIGHT IDEAS,
CRIMSON QUACKETTE?
THE QUACKETTE DEFERS
TO THE FATHER ON THIS.
BOY,
THAT'S GETTING
ON MY NERVES.
I'VE GOT AN IDEA!
TELL THEM
IT'S A GIANT BIRD GOD
DEMANDING OUR FREEDOM.
HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA.
TOPO GIGGIO.
[MUTTERING]
WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?
THEY CAN'T SEE IT.
THE ZEPPELIN'S
IN THE WAY.
AAH!
HANG ON, KIDS!
SO...
THIS IS WHAT A VOLCANO
LOOKS LIKE INSIDE.
WHAT A DUMP.
COOL LAVA, HUH?
DID YOU SAY "LAVA?"
AAH!
I'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND
A WAY TO GET TO THE TOP.
BEFORE OR AFTER
WE'RE BOILED ALIVE?
HOLD ON.
I'LL TAKE US UP!
I MUST CENTER MYSELF,
FOCUSING ON THE TEACHINGS
OF TIBETAN YOGIS
I LEARNED AS A LAD.
FORGET
THE YOGI PART.
I'VE AN IDEA.
I MUST CONCENTRATE
ON MY MANTRA.
A-E-I-O-U...
AND SOMETIMES "Y"...
A-E-I-O-U...
GOS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
DON'T WORRY.
I'VE GOT A PLAN.
I'LL SAVE US.
MY BODY HAS BECOME
ONE WITH THE OTHER.
I AM WHOLE.
I AM FREE.
RELAX, HONK-MEISTER.
I'M AN EXPERT
AT SLINGSHOT
TECHNOLOGY.
SO, THE YOGI TELLS ME,
"BEETLENUT, SNATCH
THE PEBBLES FROM MY HAND."
THEN I SAY,
"WHO YOU CALLING
A BEETLENUT, BONEHEAD?"
THAT WAS THE BEGINNING
OF THE END.
READY?
1...2...3!
SHOULDN'T MY BURDEN
BE LIGHTER BY NOW?
YEAH! TOLD YOU THAT
YOGI CRUD WORKED, GOS.
[RUMBLING]
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
BLAH!
[SHOUTING]
TYPICAL!
THE VOLCANO MISSES
ONE LOUSY MEAL,
AND THEY RAMPAGE.
HEAD FOR THE LAKE!
YIKES!
JUMP ON MY SHOULDERS.
OW!
THANKS, SWEETIE.
READY?
UH-1...2...
UH-1...2...3...4!
THOSE MURRAY ARTHUR
FIRE DANCE LESSONS
CAME IN HANDY.
WOW! THAT WAS
MAJOR COOL!
YOU DIDN'T
EVEN FLINCH!
IT WAS NOTHING.
HEH HEH.
OF COURSE
I AM A PROFESSIONAL.
AHH!
LOOKS LIKE
WE'RE HOME FREE!
PERSISTENT
LITTLE SQUIRTS,
AREN'T THEY?
PULL OVER
TO THAT BUSH!
YOU SHOULD'VE
DONE THAT
BEFORE LEAVING.
ACCORDING
TO MY CALCULATIONS,
BEHIND THAT BUSH
WE'LL FIND...
THE THUNDERQUACK!
THE AUTO-PILOT WORKED.
HAH! LET'S SEE THEM
CATCH US NOW!
[ENGINE STARTS]
[ENGINE DIES]
[GRUMBLING]
IT WAS FUN WORKING
TOGETHER, HUH?
YEAH.
WE WON'T HEAR
FROM THEM.
WE TAUGHT THEM
A LESSON.
YEAH. I DOUBT
THEY'LL BE SACRIFICING
ANY TOTEM POLE
LOOK-A-LIKES FOR A WHILE!
HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA.
CLOD GOD!