Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 1, Episode 35 - Life, the Negaverse and Everything - full transcript

♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪

♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪

♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪

♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪

♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪

♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪

3, 2, 1!

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LET'S GET DANGEROUS.



♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!

♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪

♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪

♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪

♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪

♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪

♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪

♪ HERE COMES ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LOOK OUT!

♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LET'S GET DANGEROUS!



♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪

ANOTHER DAY,
ANOTHER MAJOR CRIME.

WELL, SEE YA'.

COME ON, NEGADUCK,

YOU NEVER HANG OUT WITH US
AFTER A CAPER.

GEE, QUACKERJACK,
WHY DO YOU THINK
THAT IS?

COULD IT BE BECAUSE
I HATE YOU GUYS...

YOU'RE
A BUNCH OF LOSERS...

I'VE GOT OTHER
PLACES TO GO?

NO, THAT COULDN'T
POSSIBLY BE IT.

THE LIQUIDATOR GUESSES
IT'S SOMETHING ELSE.

IT'S BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT
A SECRET HIDEOUT.

MEGAVOLT, THAT'S USING
THE OLD DRY CELLS.

OH, WE DON'T HAVE
A SECRET HIDEOUT.

WHY CAN'T WE GO
TO YOURS?

IF I LET YOU GO TO
MY SECRET HIDEOUT,

IT WOULDN'T BE
SECRET ANYMORE.

I HAVE ONE
SOLELY TO ESCAPE
THE GEEK SQUAD.

SEE YOU NEXT CRIME.

OH!
AW!
OH!

HIM AND HIS
SECRET HIDEOUT.

LIKE, WE COULDN'T
FOLLOW HIM

AND FIND IT.

[SNORING]

ATTENTION,
DRAKE MALLARD!

IT IS TIME
FOR HONKER'S BIRTHDAY PARTY!

I'M NOT GOING!

I HATE THE MUDDLEFOOTS,

AND I HATE
THEIR PARTIES!

[MUTTERING]

THEN I WON'T
CLEAN MY ROOM.

YOU NEVER
CLEAN YOUR ROOM.

WHY DON'T YOU
GO WITH LAUNCHPAD?

LAUNCHPAD'S GETTING
THE BIRTHDAY CAKE.

MMM! LITTLE HONKMAN'S
GOING TO LOVE

THIS PEANUT BUTTER, HONEY,
AND SAUERKRAUT CAKE!

I CHOSE IT MYSELF.

NEGADUCK'S HIDEOUT'S
A SUGAR AND SPICE,
EVERYTHING NICE BAKERY?

BUT WAIT,
THERE MUST BE MORE.

SHH! I DON'T WANT
NEGADUCK TO SEE US.

EXCUSE ME.

PARDON ME.

THE FEARSOME FIVE--
ER, FOUR.

I GOT TO GET D.W.

THEY WERE
THE LAST CIVILIZATION
CONQUERED BY THE ROMANS.

YOU SURE CUT LOOSE
ON THE OLD "B" DAY.

ALL ASHORE, WELCOME
TO PELICAN'S ISLAND.

IT'S KIND OF
A THEME DEALIE.

OOH! I HATE
THE MUDDLEFOOTS.

OH, OH, OH!

I WONDER
WHAT IS COOKING

UNDER THIS
PRIMITIVE BARBECUE.

LOOK!
COCONUT BURGERS.

THIS IS REALLY GREAT.

GOT TO GET
OUT OF HERE.

DRAKE, I JUST...

THE BAKERY...

OH, WHAT
A LOVELY CAKE.

FEAR...

SOME.

FEARSOME!

WHY, A CAKE
HAS WASHED ASHORE.

COME ON, LITTLE BUDDIES,
LET'S EAT.

WHAT ARE YOU
BABBLING ABOUT?

FEARSOME FIVE'S
AT THE BAKERY!

I'M OUT OF HERE!

L.P.,
CREATE A DIVERSION.

HOW ABOUT DYING
FROM EXHAUSTION?

NAH, TOO SUBTLE.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

OUT OF MY WAY, TOADSTOOLS!
LET ME HAVE SOME.

OH, DRAT.

I'LL HAVE TO FETCH
ANOTHER CAKE.

LET'S GET DANGEROUS.

IS THAT COCONUT BURGERS
I SMELL?

THERE HE IS!

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

WELL, UH...

I AM THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!

I AM THE CHOLESTEROL
THAT CLOGS YOUR ARTERIES.

I AM DARKWING DUCK!

UH! YOU LED
DARKWING DUCK RIGHT
TO MY SECRET HIDEOUT,

YOU NUBS!

WE'RE NOT NUBS!

WE'LL PROVE IT.

COME ON, GUYS,
LET'S FRY SOME DUCK.

UH-OH.

WE GOT HIM!

HEY.

NO!

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

YOU NUBS!

YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING.

YOU'VE THROWN DARKWING DUCK
INTO THE NEGAVERSE!

AAH!

NEGAWHAT?

IT'S MY SECRET HIDEOUT,
YOU IDIOTS!

DON'T DELAY.
ACT NOW.

AAH!

OH, THE PAIN!

[BIRDS CHIRP]

WHAT?

WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

WHAT'S HAPPENED
TO MY BEAUTIFUL ST. CANARD?

OH, HOW LONG
WAS I KNOCKED OUT?

AHH, MY BEAUTIFUL
ST. CANARD.

SMELL THOSE NOXIOUS FUMES.

NOW, WHERE DID THAT
BLASTED DARKWING DUCK GO?

WHAT THE...

GOSALYN?

I LEAVE FOR FIVE MINUTES,

AND GOSALYN'S REWIRED
THE WHOLE HOUSE!

YEP, SHE'S BLACKED OUT
THE WHOLE CITY AGAIN.

YAY, YOU'RE HOME!

I DIRTIED THE KITCHEN
LIKE YOU WANTED.

LIKE I WANTED?

WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?

YEAH, I FOUND ANOTHER
BAG OF TOYS,

AND--HEH HEH--

SOMEONE PLANTED
A STINKIN' ROSEBUSH.

HEH HEH!

LAUNCHPAD?

IS THERE
SOMETHING WRONG?

YOU DON'T LOOK
LIKE OUR USUAL
MR. GRUMPYPUSS.

NEWS FLASH!
DARKWING DUCK IS LOOSE

IN ST. CANARD.

MIGHTY NEGADUCK DEMANDS
DARKWING DUCK

BE ARRESTED ON SIGHT.

NO! DARKWING DUCK
SHOULD BE SHOT ON SIGHT!

SKINNED!
SKIN HIM ALIVE!

WHAT'S NEGADUCK
DOING ON TV?

BETTER,
BURN HIM TO FIERY ASH!

THEN ARREST HIM.

IT'S EASY TO RECOGNIZE
DARKWING DUCK.

HE LOOKS JUST LIKE ME.

YOU'RE DARKWING DUCK!

LAUNCHPAD!

ARE YOU NUTS?

I'D SAY
THAT'S A YES.

WOW! THERE REALLY IS
A DARKWING DUCK.

WHERE'D THEY GO?

DARKWING DUCK HAS COME
TO SAVE US ALL!

NOTHING CAN STOP
DARKWING DUCK!

AAH! TANK!

MAY I BE
OF ASSISTANCE?

TANK?

O.K. GOSALYN'S SWEET,
LAUNCHPAD'S INSANE,

AND TANK'S POLITE?

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

BY YOUR CONFUSION,

I DEDUCE
YOU'RE DARKWING DUCK.

I'LL MAKE THIS SIMPLE.

THIS IS YOUR WORLD.

THIS IS OURS.

YOU HAVE TRAVELED
THROUGH THE DOORWAY

THAT SEPARATES
YOUR WORLD FROM OURS

AND ENTERED
THE NEGAVERSE--VERSE--VERSE.

HERE EVERYTHING
IS THE OPPOSITE
OF YOUR UNIVERSE.

NEGADUCK
RULES SUPREME.

OH, I GET IT.

I FELL INTO A BIG
BIRTHDAY CAKE

INTO ANOTHER UNIVERSE.

RIGHT!

DON'T THINK SO.

TANKARD H. MUDDLEFOOT,
WHERE ARE YOU?

IT'S MOTHER
AND FATHER. HIDE!

[HONK]

TANK, DEAR,
YOU'RE MISSING
HONKER'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.

LORD NEGADUCK,
WHAT AN HONOR.

WE DIDN'T EXPECT YOU
TO SHOW UP.

I LOVE
YOUR NEW OUTFIT.

PURPLE IS
SO GLOOMY!

GOS, BETTER
GO GET HELP.

WELCOME TO THE ANNUAL
CELEBRATION

OF OUR
LITTLE HONKER'S BIRTH.

IT'S HIM!

IT'S DARKWING DUCK,

THE ONE LORD NEGADUCK
SAID TO SHOOT,

RIP TO SHREDS,

TO BURN INTO FIERY ASH!

NO, WAIT!

WELL, ISN'T THIS
A TREAT?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
SON.

ALL RIGHT!

PARTY TIME!

WHAT HAVE WE GOT
ON THE GRILL TONIGHT, SON?

DARKWING BURGERS!
DARKWING BURGERS!

I PREFER THE NORMAL,
TACKY MUDDLEFOOTS.

I THINK HE'S WAKING UP.

ARE YOU DARKWING DUCK?

I AM THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.

GREETINGS, DARKWING DUCK!

♪ WE GOT DARKWING DUCK ♪

♪ WE GOT DARKWING DUCK ♪♪

WHERE AM I?

YOU'LL BE SORRY
YOU MESSED WITH
THE MIGHTY MALLARD!

O.K., O.K., WE'RE SORRY

WE MESSED WITH
THE MIGHTY MALLARD.

JUST PUT THE GUN DOWN.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

MOST WOULD RATHER
SURRENDER

THAN FIGHT
DARKWING DUCK.

GET HIM!

NO FAIR. YOU'RE MESSING
WITH THE MIGHTY MALLARD.

SURE HE'S
THE RIGHT GUY?

YOU'RE GOING TO WISH
NEGADUCK WAS DUCK ENOUGH

TO DO HIS OWN
DIRTY DEEDS.

NO, WE'RE NOT WORKING
FOR NEGADUCK.

WE'RE AGAINST NEGADUCK.

WE RESCUED YOU.

WE'RE THE FRIENDLY FOUR!

O.K., NOW I GET IT.

THIS IS ALL JUST
A BAD DREAM

BROUGHT ON BY TOO MANY
COCONUT BURGERS.

I'LL WAKE MYSELF UP
AND BE HOME, SWEET HOME.

[BIRDS CHIRP]

O.K., IT'S NOT A DREAM.

THIS IS THE NEGAVERSE.

DOESN'T MEAN
I HAVE TO STICK AROUND.

NO, DON'T GO!

YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
WHO'S EVER BEAT NEGADUCK.

LOOK. THANKS,
BUT NO THANKS.

I'VE GOT TO RETURN
TO MY OWN UNIVERSE,

MY OWN--
GOSALYN.

SHE'S PROBABLY
WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

YOU SHOULDN'T
KEEP HER WAITING.

UM...

WHOSE KID IS THIS?

GOSALYN'S GUARDIAN
IS NEGADUCK.

IN THE NEGAVERSE,

THERE'S NEVER BEEN
A DARKWING DUCK

TO GUARD THE CITY...

OR A DRAKE MALLARD
TO BE A FATHER.

FOR YOU, GOSALYN,
I'LL STAY.

TROOPS, WE'VE GOT TO
GET YOU WHIPPED INTO SHAPE.

WE'VE GOT TO BE STRONG,
WE'VE GOT TO BE SMART,

AND WE'VE GOT TO BE
INVENTIVE.

AND WHAT HAVE WE HERE?

IT'S DONE!
IT'S READY!

IT'S THE ULTIMATE
SECRET WEAPON.

A TOY CLOWN?

THIS IS A REALLY NASTY
TOY CLOWN.

WATCH.

[WINDING]

[GULP]

GOOD JOB.

OF COURSE, LET'S NOT FORGET
OUR BIG ADVANTAGE--

NEGADUCK HAS NO IDEA

YOU GUYS HAVE TEAMED UP
WITH DARKWING DUCK!

[DOOR SLAMS]

GREETINGS, KIDS.

IT'S NEGADUCK!
NEGADUCK!

SO MUCH
FOR BIG ADVANTAGE.

TAKE THEM TO THE TOWER.

[THUNDER]

THE OLD HOMETOWN AIN'T
WHAT IT USED TO BE, EH?

A VERITABLE MAGIC KINGDOM
OF FUN FOR THE FAMILY.

YOU DON'T KNOW
THE HALF OF IT.

THE NEGAVERSE IS
MY PERSONAL PLAYGROUND.

WITH HELP
FROM MY NEGAHAMMER,

YOU'RE GOING TO BE MY
PERSONAL PANCAKE.

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

I'M SICK OF HEARING
YOUR GUMS FLAP, JACK.

KILL ME ALREADY.

IN DUE TIME.

WHEN THE PENDULUM
CUTS THE ROPE,

IT'S BYE-BYE, DARK WING.

DON'T EXPECT HELP
FROM THOSE LOSERS.

THEY COULDN'T
CRACK AN EGG,

LET ALONE THIS GLASS.

I'M OFF TO CREATE MORE

UNNECESSARY
PAIN AND SUFFERING.

LOSERS.

NEGADUCK'S
BEATEN US AGAIN.

WE ARE LOSERS.

ANY SECOND NOW.

AT LEAST I HAVE
MY CLOWN.

THE CLOWN!
USE THE CLOWN!

AAH!

MAYBE THIS WASN'T
SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

AAH! AAH!

OH! OH!

JUST ANOTHER--AHEM--

DEATH-DEFYING ESCAPE
BY DARKWING--

[SLAM]

DUCK!

ALL RIGHT, TEAM,

LET'S GET DANGEROUS.

LET'S GET LUMINOUS.

STEP ASIDE.

MAKE WAY
FOR THE LIQUIDATOR.

NOW THAT WATER'S FLOWING,

I CAN FIX THE PLANTS.

YAY!

GREAT! NOW WHERE
IS NEGADUCK?

ARRGGH! DARKWING DUCK
RUINED MY ST. CANARD,

SO I'LL RUIN HIS!

EVERYONE,
INTO THE BAKERY.

I WAS GETTING SICK
OF THIS PLACE ANYWAY.

WE ARE THE TERRORS
THAT FLAP IN THE NIGHT.

WE ARE THE SOAP
CLEANING UP THIS TOWN.

WE ARE DARKWING'S DUCKS!

KING GEAR.

FRIENDLY FOUR,
DARKWING'S DUCKS,

DIFFERENT NAME,
SAME OLD LOSERS!

HERB, GRILL 'EM!

HYAH!

ALL RIGHT, TEAM,

LET'S PROVE
WE'RE NOT LOSERS ANYMORE.

HYAH! AAH!

IT'S PLAY TIME.

ALL RIGHT, TEAM!

YOU SURPRISED HIM
WITH THAT...

HONKER, DEAR, RUN ALONG

AND DO SOME
LIFE-ALTERING DAMAGE

TO THOSE MEN
WHO HURT MUMMY.

COME ON.
LET'S ROCK 'N' ROLL!

SORRY, MUDDLEFOOT,
BUT THE FRIENDLY FOUR

ARE RUNNING THIS TOWN.

UPSY-DAISY!

WHOA! HEY!

BYE-BYE, DUCKY.

HEY!

YOU GUYS DID IT!

IT APPEARS NEGADUCK
ESCAPED INTO THE PORTAL.

YOU'VE GOT TO GET HIM.

YOUR GOSALYN NEEDS YOU.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

I'VE GOT FOUR DARKWINGS
TO TAKE CARE OF ME NOW.

GOODBYE, GOS.

HURRY!

GIVE ME A BREAK!

HA!

DOUBLE HA!

OOPS.

NOW I GOT YOU!

NOW I'VE GOT
THE UPPER HAND,
NEGADUCK!

LOOK OUT!
IT'S THE UNIVERSAL PLUG!

WE'LL BE SUCKED
INTO OBLIVION!

THE UNIVERSAL WHAT?

OH. TIME TO GO.

WHAT THE...

WAIT A SECOND.

I'LL GET YOU
FOR THIS, DARKWING DUCK!

HOME,SWEET HOME!

I'M BACK. I GOT
THE BIRTHDAY CAKE, TOO!

BOY, IT'S GOOD
TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

CUT THE SAP.
HAND OVER THE CAKE.

WE SAVED YOU
A COUPLE OF JUICY
COCONUT BURGERS, SPUD.

I LOVE THE MUDDLEFOOTS.