Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 1, Episode 33 - The Secret Origins of Darkwing Duck - full transcript
At a museum 200 years in the future Gosaloid and Honkulon hear the story of the mythical Darkwing Duck.
♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
IN THE LATE 20th CENTURY,
DARKWING DUCK WAS
THE LAST MYTHOLOGICAL HERO.
ACCORDING TO LEGEND,
HE WAS A MYSTERIOUS FIGURE,
HIS TRUE ORIGIN
NEVER REVEALED.
KINETIC GEAR!
IS THAT DARKWING
DUCK'S COSTUME?
NO. THESE ARE PROPS
FROM AN IMMENSELY
SUCCESSFUL CARTOON SERIES
BASED ON DARKWING'S
MYTHIC EXPLOITS.
A MASK THE CHARACTER WORE
HAS NEVER BEEN FOUND.
WE NOW KNOW THAT THE PEOPLE
WHO WATCHED THESE EXPLOITS
HAD MUCH SMALLER BRAINS
THAN OURS,
WHICH IS NO DOUBT WHY
THEY BECAME EXTINCT.
GOSALOID, YOU'RE
NOT SUPPOSED TO
TOUCH ANYTHING.
JUST THINK,
DARKWING DUCK HIMSELF
SAT IN THESE CHAIRS.
ACCORDING TO THE MUSEUM'S
ANALOGICALLY DIGITAL
VIDEOTRONIC GUIDE,
AN ACTOR PORTRAYED
DARKWING DUCK THE MYTH.
WHAT IF THAT'S WRONG
AND THERE WERE HEROES?
HERO WORSHIP REFLECTS
THE WORSHIPER'S FEELINGS
"OF INADEQUACY, INSECURITY,
INABILITY, AND--"
WHO ARE YOU CALLING
INADEQUATE, INSECURE, AND--
WHOA!
WHOA!
WHAT'S GOING ON?
SOMEBODY GET US OUT OF HERE!
MY ATTORNEY
WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!
[HUMMING]
HEY, YOU MISSED A SPOT!
[CLICK]
OOPS! I ALWAYS FORGET
ABOUT THAT THING.
JACKPOT!
IF WE HURRY,
WE CAN CATCH UP
WITH THE TOUR.
WE WERE STUCK IN THERE
FOR SEVEN HOURS.
NO NEED TO CRY, KID.
THEY'LL BE BACK
WHEN THE MUSEUM OPENS.
OH, THANKS, BUT IT'S
JUST MY ALLERGIES.
UM, CONSIDER IT A GIFT.
IT'D TAKE A HERO
LIKE DARKWING DUCK
TO SAVE US.
GOSALOID, WE
WOULDN'T BE IN TROUBLE
IF YOU WEREN'T INTERESTED
IN THAT SILLY MYTH.
SILLY? MYTH?
YOU DON'T BELIEVE
IN DARKWING DUCK?
SEE? HE WAS REAL.
IF HE WAS REAL,
THERE'D BE SOME RECORD--
A BIRTH CERTIFICATE,
SOMETHING.
A PIECE OF PAPER
DOESN'T MAKE
A THING REAL.
YOU KNOW WHY
THERE'S NO RECORD
OF DARKWING'S BIRTH?
TELL HIM WHY
THERE'S NOT.
WELL, UM, IT'S...
IT'S BECAUSE HE WASN'T
BORN ON THIS PLANET.
I KNEW IT HAD TO BE
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR
ABOUT THE SECRET ORIGIN
OF DARKWING DUCK?
YES!
WELL, IT ALL BEGAN ON
THE DISTANT PLANET ZIPTON
WHEN DARKWING DUCK
WAS JUST A BABE.
[GURGLING]
[RUMBLING]
[GASP]
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
DRAKELL,
WHAT IS IT?
NOT BAD NEWS,
I HOPE.
IT'S THE END
OF THE WORLD.
I SUPPOSE THAT
QUALIFIES AS BAD NEWS.
IT'S MY STUPID
BROTHER'S FAULT.
HE BUILT A BOMB BIG ENOUGH
TO BLOW UP THE PLANET.
HE THREATENED
TO DESTROY ZIPTON
IF HE WASN'T
MADE GRAND POOH BAH.
SURELY, HE DIDN'T USE IT.
WELL, NO--YES!
THERE WAS THIS ACCIDENT
WITH THE DETONATOR.
AHA! HERE'S WHAT
I WAS LOOKING FOR--
GRANDFATHER'S
OLD OMNI BLASTER.
JUNIOR MIGHT NEED THIS
ON GRIBBLEFRITZ.
GRIBBLEFRITZ?
[GURGLING]
GUARD THIS CAREFULLY,
MY LITTLE ONE.
IT COULD COME IN
HANDY SOMEDAY.
[RUMBLING]
SURELY, YOU CAN'T MEAN--
YES. WE SHALL PERISH,
BUT OUR SON SHALL LIVE.
HE SHALL GROW AND PROSPER
AND ACHIEVE GREAT THINGS.
WHO KNOWS? PERHAPS
IN SOME DISTANT TIME,
THERE SHALL BE
A CARTOON SERIES
BASED ON
HIS MYTHIC EXPLOITS.
MEANWHILE, ON
THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN,
THE EVIL BROTHER
HAD HIS OWN PROBLEMS.
I SAID IT WAS
A STUPID IDEA.
IT WASN'T MY FAULT.
IF IT EXPLODES, WHAT
WILL YOU BE POOH BAH OF?
THE POOH BAH OF RUBBLE.
VERY IMPRESSIVE.
THE BOMB WOULDN'T
HAVE GONE OFF
IF MY IDIOT BROTHER HADN'T
SAT ON THE DETONATOR.
WAS THAT THE OVEN TIMER?
CHECK YOUR ROAST.
WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?
TO GRIBBLEFRITZ. BYE.
HATE TO SEE OUR MARRIAGE
END THIS WAY.
OH, NO,
YOU DON'T.
OW!
BLBLBLBL!
LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
OUR PLANET'S
ONLY BLOWING UP.
ON GRIBBLEFRITZ,
THEY'LL HAVE TO
DEAL WITH HIM.
EXCUSE ME, BUT THERE'S
NOTHING IN MY GUIDE
ABOUT DARKWING BEING
BORN ON ANOTHER PLANET
OR GOING TO GRIBBLEFRITZ.
IT WAS A SECRET ORIGIN.
IF IT WAS IN THERE,
IT WOULDN'T BE SECRET.
BESIDES,
WHO SAYS HE MADE IT
TO GRIBBLEFRITZ?
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
THE TWO ROCKETS COLLIDED,
KNOCKING THEM
OFF COURSE.
SUNDAY DRIVER!
BLBLBLBL!
AFTER A DETOUR OF
A FEW ZILLION MILES,
BABY DARKWING'S ROCKET
LANDED ON EARTH
IN A QUIET MONASTERY.
WHAT IS ALL
THIS BROUHAHA?
THE ROCKET LANDED AT
THE FEET OF THE VENERABLE ONE,
ALSO KNOWN AS VINNY.
WHO TOOK A SHINE
TO ITS TINY PASSENGER.
WE'LL TEACH THIS CHILD
OUR WAYS.
HIS NAME SHALL BE...
[SNIFF SNIFF]
STINKY.
THE WISE OLD BLIND MONK
TAUGHT STINKY MANY THINGS.
HE TAUGHT HIM
TO FIND INNER PEACE.
BABY NEEDS
A NEW PAIR OF SHOES.
COME ON, SEVEN!
HE TAUGHT HIM RESPECT
FOR ALL LIVING THINGS...
HAND ME THE JAR.
THIS WILL LOOK GREAT
IN MY TROPHY CASE.
AND HOW TO
BEAT PEOPLE SENSELESS.
HEY, LOOK! CANNIBALS!
HUH?
HE FELL FOR
THE "CANNIBALS
OVER THE SHOULDER" GAG.
BUT, STINKY,
THERE ARE CANNIBALS.
REALLY? CANNIBALS?
REMEMBER WHAT
YOU HAVE LEARNED.
IT COULD COME IN
HANDY SOMEDAY.
THE MONASTERY WASN'T
ALL ZEN AND GAMES.
WHO WANTS TO
SHOOT SOME HOOPS?
THINK QUICK!
[THUD]
OOPS!
IT'S TIME
FOR YOU TO LEAVE US,
TO SEARCH
FOR THE HOME
IN YOUR HEART.
BUT I'VE ACHIEVED
PERFECT UNITY
WITH MY SOUL HERE.
BESIDES, I GET FOOD
AND DON'T PAY RENT.
FREELOADER.
AND SO, STINKY
LEFT THE MONASTERY
IN SEARCH
OF HIS DESTINY.
[GOSALOID]
THAT'S WHEN HE
CAME TO ST. CANARD?
NOT YET.
FIRST, HE HAD TO CROSS
AN ENORMOUS DESERT.
GASP! WATER!
[WHEEZING]
AHA!
[COUGHING]
[GAGGING]
WHO DARES DISTURB
THE GENIE'S REST?
THAT'S WHAT
I'D LIKE TO KNOW.
[COUGHING]
YIP!
I'M GOING TO GRIND YOU
INTO THE GROUND!
FORTUNATELY, STINKY
HAD LEARNED THE SECRET
OF USING AN OPPONENT'S SIZE
AND STRENGTH AGAINST HIM.
HYAH!
W-W-W-W-W-WHOA!
OH, MY SACROILIAC.
I GET THREE WISHES NOW,
RIGHT?
OH, YEAH.
YOU GOT ME THERE.
STATE YOUR WISHES.
I'M A HUMBLE MAN.
I COULD USE
A CUCKOO COLA,
SOME SNAZZY THREADS,
AND THE SECRET TO
YOUR SMOKING ENTRANCE.
NOT THE SECRET
TO MY ENTRANCE!
SORRY, THREE WISHES.
UNION RULES.
OH, UNION, SHMUNION.
ALL RIGHT, THEN,
BE THAT WAY.
IT SHALL BE DONE.
FROM THE LAND
BEYOND BEYOND,
FROM THE WORLD
PAST HOPE AND FEAR--
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I BID YOU, REAPPEAR!
NOW, THAT'S AN ENTRANCE.
HMM, PURPLE WOULDN'T
HAVE BEEN MY FIRST CHOICE,
BUT NOT BAD.
SINCE I WENT
AND GAVE YOU
THE SECRET OF
MY SECRET ENTRANCE,
TAKE CARE
HOW YOU USE IT.
IT COULD COME IN
HANDY SOMEDAY.
LOOK AT THE TIME.
I GOT TO PICK UP
MY RV AT THE SHOP.
HEY! HEY, WAIT, GENIE!
COME BACK HERE!
IS IT TOO LATE
TO WISH FOR A CAMEL?
[GOSALOID]
HAVEN'T YOU
FORGOTTEN SOMETHING?
LIKE TELLING A STORY
THAT MAKES SENSE.
UH, LIKE WHAT?
LIKE THE OTHER BABY.
OTHER BABY?
THERE WASN'T
ANY OTHER BA--
OH, THE EVIL
BROTHER'S BABY.
I FORGOT
ALL ABOUT HIM.
WELL, UH, YOU SEE, WH-WHAT
HAPPENED TO HIM WAS...
HIS ROCKET WAS
PICKED UP BY...
SPACE PIRATES.
SPACE PIRATES?
YEAH, NOW I REMEMBER.
THE CHILD GREW UP
GREEDY AND MEAN.
SO WHEN HE
CAME TO EARTH
AND DISCOVERED
HIS LONG-LOST COUSIN,
HIS FIRST THOUGHTS
WERE...
WHAT A SAP.
BETTER MAKE
SURE MEGA-GEEK
DOESN'T INTERFERE
WITH MY PLANS FOR
WORLD DOMINATION.
I'VE BEEN WALKING
ACROSS BURNING SANDS
FOR THE PAST 17 DAYS,
YET I FEEL LIKE I'M
WALKING ON AIR. YAAH!
OH, BOY!
THE EVIL COUSIN DECIDED TO
MAKE STINKY AN OFFER.
TELL YOU WHAT,
HELP ME CONQUER THIS PLANET,
AND I'LL LET YOU BREATHE.
TO WHICH STINKY
NATURALLY REPLIED...
NOT ON YOUR SWEET
PATOOTIE, PAL.
YOU'RE TOO GOOD
FOR MY OWN GOOD, COUSIN.
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
I'VE CAUGHT SOME BUGS
ON THE WINDSHIELD,
BUT THIS ONE
IS FOR THE BOOKS.
THANKS FOR THE LIFT,
STRANGER.
AND WHO
ARE YOU, STRANGER?
I HAVE MANY NAMES.
CALL ME...
MYSTERIOUS MASKED
AVENGER OF EVIL,
AVENGER FOR SHORT.
THIS IS MY FAITHFUL SIDEKICK
LAUNCHPAD McQUACK.
THE QUESTION IS--
WHO ARE YOU,
AND WHAT'S YOUR ORIGIN?
[DEEP BREATH]
IT BEGAN ON
PLANET ZIPTON...
STINKY TOLD HIS STORY,
JUST AS I'VE
TOLD IT TO YOU.
[SNORING]
[SNORING]
HUH?
SO IT'S UP TO ME TO
STOP MY EVIL COUSIN
FROM BLOWING UP
THE PLANET.
ALIEN INVADERS
CAN BE A HANDFUL,
ESPECIALLY
FOR A RANK AMATEUR.
LET'S TAKE HIM
TO AVENGER TOWER
AND SEE WHAT WE
CAN DO WITH HIM.
WELL, THIS
IS MY PLACE.
SURE BEATS
MY OLD ROOM
AT THE MONASTERY.
WHAT'S THAT?
CUCKOO COLA.
GET RID OF IT!
IT'S CAFFEINE-FREE.
CUCKOO COLA
IS THE AVENGER'S
ONE WEAKNESS.
ONE SWALLOW
IS SICKENING.
TWO SWALLOWS
GIVE ME A MIGRAINE.
A WHOLE CAN,
AND I'M HISTORY, KAPUT!
[ALARM SOUNDS]
WHAT IS THAT?
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
IT'S YOUR
EVIL COUSIN.
THERE'S NO TIME TO LOSE.
COME ON, HURRY UP,
MR., UH--
SORRY. I DON'T
KNOW YOUR NAME.
THE MONKS
CALLED ME...STINKY.
IT DOESN'T EXACTLY STRIKE
TERROR IN EVILDOERS' HEARTS.
UNLESS
YOU'RE SOAP.
FROM NOW ON,
YOU SHALL BE CALLED
DARKWING DUCK.
DARKWING DUCK, YES.
IT'S ME.
IT'S VERY ME.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
WHO CARES?
IT SOUNDS COOL.
A CRIME FIGHTER HAS TO
LOOK DANGEROUS, LIKE THIS.
GRRR!
GOT IT?
YOU MEAN LIKE THIS?
AAWWAA!
MAYBE A MASK
WOULD HELP.
THANKS FOR THE MASK
AND CAPE, AVENGIE.
I ALWAYS SAY,
WHEN IN DOUBT, ACCESSORIZE.
THERE HE IS!
STAY AWAY
FROM HIS GUN.
THIS CRAFT WAS DESIGNED
TO WITHSTAND ANY ASSAULT.
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
OH, NO! CUCKOO COLA!
THE AVENGER!
WHERE'S THE AVENGER?
DARKWING...
HELP!
OH, THIS IS IT.
[COUGHING]
THIS IS THE END.
DON'T SAY THAT,
AVENGER.
[HONK]
I'M...
FINISHED.
IT'S ALL OVER.
OH, AND
ONE MORE THING.
OHH!
DARKWING...
[COUGH]
YOU'VE GOT TO...
TAKE OVER FOR ME.
YOU'VE GOT TO BECOME
A CRIME FIGHTER.
OHH...GOODBYE.
THERE CAN NEVER BE
ANOTHER MYSTERIOUS
MASKED AVENGER
LIKE THE MYSTERIOUS
MASKED AVENGER.
THAT'S RIGHT. UHH!
THERE'S A NEW
HERO IN TOWN,
AND HIS NAME IS...
DARKWING DUCK.
OHH, FAREWELL, HERO.
UHH!
SHE'S GONE.
ARE YOU SURE?
MMM...YEAH.
NO! NOW THERE'LL
NEVER BE A CARTOON
BASED ON
HER MYTHIC EXPLOITS.
WHAT'S MORE,
I'M OUT OF A JOB.
[SNIFFLING]
IT'S JUST MY
ALLERGIES AGAIN.
AND SO, DARKWING DUCK
DISCOVERED HIS DESTINY.
TO BE THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT,
TO FIGHT VILLAINY,
CROOKEDNESS, AND--
UH, SKULDUGGERY--
CAN'T FORGET SKULDUGGERY--
AND EVIL, VILLAINOUS,
NASTY MEANNESS
AND BAD GRAMMAR.
DARKWING!
WHAT IS IT? I'M WORKING.
LEAVE ME ALONE.
HE'S BACK!
COME ON, LAUNCHPAD.
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
BRING HER IN AS
CLOSE AS YOU CAN.
THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.
AS THE CRIME FIGHTER
STALKED THE VILLAIN,
HE THOUGHT TO HIMSELF--
HOLD THE PHONE.
I'VE NEVER
FOUGHT CRIME BEFORE.
WHERE DO I START?
IT COULD COME IN
HANDY SOMEDAY.
HMM, IT'S WORTH A TRY.
I'M THE TERROR THAT
FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I'M THE HERO
EVERY CULTURE NEEDS.
I AM DARKWING DUCK!
NOW, THAT IS AN ENTRANCE.
IT'S ALL OVER.
THIS IS WHERE
GOOD TRIUMPHS OVER EVIL.
THIS IS WHERE
YOU BID BYE-BYE
TO YOUR MOLECULES.
NOW REMEMBER,
A CRIME FIGHTER
HAS TO LOOK DANGEROUS.
GRRR!
YOUR FACE COULD
STICK THAT WAY.
IT COULD COME IN
HANDY SOMEDAY.
SUCK GAS, EVILDOER!
[COUGHING]
IT COULD COME IN
HANDY SOMEDAY.
UGH! NOW--NOW, COUSIN,
YOU KNOW I WAS
ONLY KIDDING AROUND,
LIKE WE USED TO
IN THE OLD DAYS.
PLEASE?
OOH! UGH! OW!
OHH. THAT A BOY,
DARKWING.
UHH. I'M DEAD.
[SNORING]
[SNORING]
AHEM, AHEM, AHEM!
HUH? WHAT'S THAT?
OH, YOU'RE BACK.
WAKE UP,
FACE THE MUSIC.
I ASSUME YOU CHILDREN
HAVE A GOOD STORY?
THE JANITOR
WAS TELLING US--
WE HAVEN'T HAD A JANITOR
IN OVER 50 YEARS.
AH-CHOO!
YOUNG MAN,
LET ME SEE THAT.
WHY, IT'S
DARKWING DUCK'S MASK,
MISSING FOR
OVER 200 YEARS.
THANKS.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
NOW I THINK YOU CHILDREN...
HAVE...SOME...
EXPLAINING...TO--OHH!
[THUD]
SO HE'S JUST A MYTH,
A FICTIONAL CHARACTER
FOR INSECURE, INADEQUATE
HERO WORSHIPERS, HUH?
WELL, UH,
I SUPPOSE EVERY MYTH
HAS SOME BASIS
IN REALITY.
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
IN THE LATE 20th CENTURY,
DARKWING DUCK WAS
THE LAST MYTHOLOGICAL HERO.
ACCORDING TO LEGEND,
HE WAS A MYSTERIOUS FIGURE,
HIS TRUE ORIGIN
NEVER REVEALED.
KINETIC GEAR!
IS THAT DARKWING
DUCK'S COSTUME?
NO. THESE ARE PROPS
FROM AN IMMENSELY
SUCCESSFUL CARTOON SERIES
BASED ON DARKWING'S
MYTHIC EXPLOITS.
A MASK THE CHARACTER WORE
HAS NEVER BEEN FOUND.
WE NOW KNOW THAT THE PEOPLE
WHO WATCHED THESE EXPLOITS
HAD MUCH SMALLER BRAINS
THAN OURS,
WHICH IS NO DOUBT WHY
THEY BECAME EXTINCT.
GOSALOID, YOU'RE
NOT SUPPOSED TO
TOUCH ANYTHING.
JUST THINK,
DARKWING DUCK HIMSELF
SAT IN THESE CHAIRS.
ACCORDING TO THE MUSEUM'S
ANALOGICALLY DIGITAL
VIDEOTRONIC GUIDE,
AN ACTOR PORTRAYED
DARKWING DUCK THE MYTH.
WHAT IF THAT'S WRONG
AND THERE WERE HEROES?
HERO WORSHIP REFLECTS
THE WORSHIPER'S FEELINGS
"OF INADEQUACY, INSECURITY,
INABILITY, AND--"
WHO ARE YOU CALLING
INADEQUATE, INSECURE, AND--
WHOA!
WHOA!
WHAT'S GOING ON?
SOMEBODY GET US OUT OF HERE!
MY ATTORNEY
WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!
[HUMMING]
HEY, YOU MISSED A SPOT!
[CLICK]
OOPS! I ALWAYS FORGET
ABOUT THAT THING.
JACKPOT!
IF WE HURRY,
WE CAN CATCH UP
WITH THE TOUR.
WE WERE STUCK IN THERE
FOR SEVEN HOURS.
NO NEED TO CRY, KID.
THEY'LL BE BACK
WHEN THE MUSEUM OPENS.
OH, THANKS, BUT IT'S
JUST MY ALLERGIES.
UM, CONSIDER IT A GIFT.
IT'D TAKE A HERO
LIKE DARKWING DUCK
TO SAVE US.
GOSALOID, WE
WOULDN'T BE IN TROUBLE
IF YOU WEREN'T INTERESTED
IN THAT SILLY MYTH.
SILLY? MYTH?
YOU DON'T BELIEVE
IN DARKWING DUCK?
SEE? HE WAS REAL.
IF HE WAS REAL,
THERE'D BE SOME RECORD--
A BIRTH CERTIFICATE,
SOMETHING.
A PIECE OF PAPER
DOESN'T MAKE
A THING REAL.
YOU KNOW WHY
THERE'S NO RECORD
OF DARKWING'S BIRTH?
TELL HIM WHY
THERE'S NOT.
WELL, UM, IT'S...
IT'S BECAUSE HE WASN'T
BORN ON THIS PLANET.
I KNEW IT HAD TO BE
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR
ABOUT THE SECRET ORIGIN
OF DARKWING DUCK?
YES!
WELL, IT ALL BEGAN ON
THE DISTANT PLANET ZIPTON
WHEN DARKWING DUCK
WAS JUST A BABE.
[GURGLING]
[RUMBLING]
[GASP]
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
DRAKELL,
WHAT IS IT?
NOT BAD NEWS,
I HOPE.
IT'S THE END
OF THE WORLD.
I SUPPOSE THAT
QUALIFIES AS BAD NEWS.
IT'S MY STUPID
BROTHER'S FAULT.
HE BUILT A BOMB BIG ENOUGH
TO BLOW UP THE PLANET.
HE THREATENED
TO DESTROY ZIPTON
IF HE WASN'T
MADE GRAND POOH BAH.
SURELY, HE DIDN'T USE IT.
WELL, NO--YES!
THERE WAS THIS ACCIDENT
WITH THE DETONATOR.
AHA! HERE'S WHAT
I WAS LOOKING FOR--
GRANDFATHER'S
OLD OMNI BLASTER.
JUNIOR MIGHT NEED THIS
ON GRIBBLEFRITZ.
GRIBBLEFRITZ?
[GURGLING]
GUARD THIS CAREFULLY,
MY LITTLE ONE.
IT COULD COME IN
HANDY SOMEDAY.
[RUMBLING]
SURELY, YOU CAN'T MEAN--
YES. WE SHALL PERISH,
BUT OUR SON SHALL LIVE.
HE SHALL GROW AND PROSPER
AND ACHIEVE GREAT THINGS.
WHO KNOWS? PERHAPS
IN SOME DISTANT TIME,
THERE SHALL BE
A CARTOON SERIES
BASED ON
HIS MYTHIC EXPLOITS.
MEANWHILE, ON
THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN,
THE EVIL BROTHER
HAD HIS OWN PROBLEMS.
I SAID IT WAS
A STUPID IDEA.
IT WASN'T MY FAULT.
IF IT EXPLODES, WHAT
WILL YOU BE POOH BAH OF?
THE POOH BAH OF RUBBLE.
VERY IMPRESSIVE.
THE BOMB WOULDN'T
HAVE GONE OFF
IF MY IDIOT BROTHER HADN'T
SAT ON THE DETONATOR.
WAS THAT THE OVEN TIMER?
CHECK YOUR ROAST.
WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?
TO GRIBBLEFRITZ. BYE.
HATE TO SEE OUR MARRIAGE
END THIS WAY.
OH, NO,
YOU DON'T.
OW!
BLBLBLBL!
LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
OUR PLANET'S
ONLY BLOWING UP.
ON GRIBBLEFRITZ,
THEY'LL HAVE TO
DEAL WITH HIM.
EXCUSE ME, BUT THERE'S
NOTHING IN MY GUIDE
ABOUT DARKWING BEING
BORN ON ANOTHER PLANET
OR GOING TO GRIBBLEFRITZ.
IT WAS A SECRET ORIGIN.
IF IT WAS IN THERE,
IT WOULDN'T BE SECRET.
BESIDES,
WHO SAYS HE MADE IT
TO GRIBBLEFRITZ?
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
THE TWO ROCKETS COLLIDED,
KNOCKING THEM
OFF COURSE.
SUNDAY DRIVER!
BLBLBLBL!
AFTER A DETOUR OF
A FEW ZILLION MILES,
BABY DARKWING'S ROCKET
LANDED ON EARTH
IN A QUIET MONASTERY.
WHAT IS ALL
THIS BROUHAHA?
THE ROCKET LANDED AT
THE FEET OF THE VENERABLE ONE,
ALSO KNOWN AS VINNY.
WHO TOOK A SHINE
TO ITS TINY PASSENGER.
WE'LL TEACH THIS CHILD
OUR WAYS.
HIS NAME SHALL BE...
[SNIFF SNIFF]
STINKY.
THE WISE OLD BLIND MONK
TAUGHT STINKY MANY THINGS.
HE TAUGHT HIM
TO FIND INNER PEACE.
BABY NEEDS
A NEW PAIR OF SHOES.
COME ON, SEVEN!
HE TAUGHT HIM RESPECT
FOR ALL LIVING THINGS...
HAND ME THE JAR.
THIS WILL LOOK GREAT
IN MY TROPHY CASE.
AND HOW TO
BEAT PEOPLE SENSELESS.
HEY, LOOK! CANNIBALS!
HUH?
HE FELL FOR
THE "CANNIBALS
OVER THE SHOULDER" GAG.
BUT, STINKY,
THERE ARE CANNIBALS.
REALLY? CANNIBALS?
REMEMBER WHAT
YOU HAVE LEARNED.
IT COULD COME IN
HANDY SOMEDAY.
THE MONASTERY WASN'T
ALL ZEN AND GAMES.
WHO WANTS TO
SHOOT SOME HOOPS?
THINK QUICK!
[THUD]
OOPS!
IT'S TIME
FOR YOU TO LEAVE US,
TO SEARCH
FOR THE HOME
IN YOUR HEART.
BUT I'VE ACHIEVED
PERFECT UNITY
WITH MY SOUL HERE.
BESIDES, I GET FOOD
AND DON'T PAY RENT.
FREELOADER.
AND SO, STINKY
LEFT THE MONASTERY
IN SEARCH
OF HIS DESTINY.
[GOSALOID]
THAT'S WHEN HE
CAME TO ST. CANARD?
NOT YET.
FIRST, HE HAD TO CROSS
AN ENORMOUS DESERT.
GASP! WATER!
[WHEEZING]
AHA!
[COUGHING]
[GAGGING]
WHO DARES DISTURB
THE GENIE'S REST?
THAT'S WHAT
I'D LIKE TO KNOW.
[COUGHING]
YIP!
I'M GOING TO GRIND YOU
INTO THE GROUND!
FORTUNATELY, STINKY
HAD LEARNED THE SECRET
OF USING AN OPPONENT'S SIZE
AND STRENGTH AGAINST HIM.
HYAH!
W-W-W-W-W-WHOA!
OH, MY SACROILIAC.
I GET THREE WISHES NOW,
RIGHT?
OH, YEAH.
YOU GOT ME THERE.
STATE YOUR WISHES.
I'M A HUMBLE MAN.
I COULD USE
A CUCKOO COLA,
SOME SNAZZY THREADS,
AND THE SECRET TO
YOUR SMOKING ENTRANCE.
NOT THE SECRET
TO MY ENTRANCE!
SORRY, THREE WISHES.
UNION RULES.
OH, UNION, SHMUNION.
ALL RIGHT, THEN,
BE THAT WAY.
IT SHALL BE DONE.
FROM THE LAND
BEYOND BEYOND,
FROM THE WORLD
PAST HOPE AND FEAR--
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I BID YOU, REAPPEAR!
NOW, THAT'S AN ENTRANCE.
HMM, PURPLE WOULDN'T
HAVE BEEN MY FIRST CHOICE,
BUT NOT BAD.
SINCE I WENT
AND GAVE YOU
THE SECRET OF
MY SECRET ENTRANCE,
TAKE CARE
HOW YOU USE IT.
IT COULD COME IN
HANDY SOMEDAY.
LOOK AT THE TIME.
I GOT TO PICK UP
MY RV AT THE SHOP.
HEY! HEY, WAIT, GENIE!
COME BACK HERE!
IS IT TOO LATE
TO WISH FOR A CAMEL?
[GOSALOID]
HAVEN'T YOU
FORGOTTEN SOMETHING?
LIKE TELLING A STORY
THAT MAKES SENSE.
UH, LIKE WHAT?
LIKE THE OTHER BABY.
OTHER BABY?
THERE WASN'T
ANY OTHER BA--
OH, THE EVIL
BROTHER'S BABY.
I FORGOT
ALL ABOUT HIM.
WELL, UH, YOU SEE, WH-WHAT
HAPPENED TO HIM WAS...
HIS ROCKET WAS
PICKED UP BY...
SPACE PIRATES.
SPACE PIRATES?
YEAH, NOW I REMEMBER.
THE CHILD GREW UP
GREEDY AND MEAN.
SO WHEN HE
CAME TO EARTH
AND DISCOVERED
HIS LONG-LOST COUSIN,
HIS FIRST THOUGHTS
WERE...
WHAT A SAP.
BETTER MAKE
SURE MEGA-GEEK
DOESN'T INTERFERE
WITH MY PLANS FOR
WORLD DOMINATION.
I'VE BEEN WALKING
ACROSS BURNING SANDS
FOR THE PAST 17 DAYS,
YET I FEEL LIKE I'M
WALKING ON AIR. YAAH!
OH, BOY!
THE EVIL COUSIN DECIDED TO
MAKE STINKY AN OFFER.
TELL YOU WHAT,
HELP ME CONQUER THIS PLANET,
AND I'LL LET YOU BREATHE.
TO WHICH STINKY
NATURALLY REPLIED...
NOT ON YOUR SWEET
PATOOTIE, PAL.
YOU'RE TOO GOOD
FOR MY OWN GOOD, COUSIN.
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
I'VE CAUGHT SOME BUGS
ON THE WINDSHIELD,
BUT THIS ONE
IS FOR THE BOOKS.
THANKS FOR THE LIFT,
STRANGER.
AND WHO
ARE YOU, STRANGER?
I HAVE MANY NAMES.
CALL ME...
MYSTERIOUS MASKED
AVENGER OF EVIL,
AVENGER FOR SHORT.
THIS IS MY FAITHFUL SIDEKICK
LAUNCHPAD McQUACK.
THE QUESTION IS--
WHO ARE YOU,
AND WHAT'S YOUR ORIGIN?
[DEEP BREATH]
IT BEGAN ON
PLANET ZIPTON...
STINKY TOLD HIS STORY,
JUST AS I'VE
TOLD IT TO YOU.
[SNORING]
[SNORING]
HUH?
SO IT'S UP TO ME TO
STOP MY EVIL COUSIN
FROM BLOWING UP
THE PLANET.
ALIEN INVADERS
CAN BE A HANDFUL,
ESPECIALLY
FOR A RANK AMATEUR.
LET'S TAKE HIM
TO AVENGER TOWER
AND SEE WHAT WE
CAN DO WITH HIM.
WELL, THIS
IS MY PLACE.
SURE BEATS
MY OLD ROOM
AT THE MONASTERY.
WHAT'S THAT?
CUCKOO COLA.
GET RID OF IT!
IT'S CAFFEINE-FREE.
CUCKOO COLA
IS THE AVENGER'S
ONE WEAKNESS.
ONE SWALLOW
IS SICKENING.
TWO SWALLOWS
GIVE ME A MIGRAINE.
A WHOLE CAN,
AND I'M HISTORY, KAPUT!
[ALARM SOUNDS]
WHAT IS THAT?
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
IT'S YOUR
EVIL COUSIN.
THERE'S NO TIME TO LOSE.
COME ON, HURRY UP,
MR., UH--
SORRY. I DON'T
KNOW YOUR NAME.
THE MONKS
CALLED ME...STINKY.
IT DOESN'T EXACTLY STRIKE
TERROR IN EVILDOERS' HEARTS.
UNLESS
YOU'RE SOAP.
FROM NOW ON,
YOU SHALL BE CALLED
DARKWING DUCK.
DARKWING DUCK, YES.
IT'S ME.
IT'S VERY ME.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
WHO CARES?
IT SOUNDS COOL.
A CRIME FIGHTER HAS TO
LOOK DANGEROUS, LIKE THIS.
GRRR!
GOT IT?
YOU MEAN LIKE THIS?
AAWWAA!
MAYBE A MASK
WOULD HELP.
THANKS FOR THE MASK
AND CAPE, AVENGIE.
I ALWAYS SAY,
WHEN IN DOUBT, ACCESSORIZE.
THERE HE IS!
STAY AWAY
FROM HIS GUN.
THIS CRAFT WAS DESIGNED
TO WITHSTAND ANY ASSAULT.
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
OH, NO! CUCKOO COLA!
THE AVENGER!
WHERE'S THE AVENGER?
DARKWING...
HELP!
OH, THIS IS IT.
[COUGHING]
THIS IS THE END.
DON'T SAY THAT,
AVENGER.
[HONK]
I'M...
FINISHED.
IT'S ALL OVER.
OH, AND
ONE MORE THING.
OHH!
DARKWING...
[COUGH]
YOU'VE GOT TO...
TAKE OVER FOR ME.
YOU'VE GOT TO BECOME
A CRIME FIGHTER.
OHH...GOODBYE.
THERE CAN NEVER BE
ANOTHER MYSTERIOUS
MASKED AVENGER
LIKE THE MYSTERIOUS
MASKED AVENGER.
THAT'S RIGHT. UHH!
THERE'S A NEW
HERO IN TOWN,
AND HIS NAME IS...
DARKWING DUCK.
OHH, FAREWELL, HERO.
UHH!
SHE'S GONE.
ARE YOU SURE?
MMM...YEAH.
NO! NOW THERE'LL
NEVER BE A CARTOON
BASED ON
HER MYTHIC EXPLOITS.
WHAT'S MORE,
I'M OUT OF A JOB.
[SNIFFLING]
IT'S JUST MY
ALLERGIES AGAIN.
AND SO, DARKWING DUCK
DISCOVERED HIS DESTINY.
TO BE THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT,
TO FIGHT VILLAINY,
CROOKEDNESS, AND--
UH, SKULDUGGERY--
CAN'T FORGET SKULDUGGERY--
AND EVIL, VILLAINOUS,
NASTY MEANNESS
AND BAD GRAMMAR.
DARKWING!
WHAT IS IT? I'M WORKING.
LEAVE ME ALONE.
HE'S BACK!
COME ON, LAUNCHPAD.
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
BRING HER IN AS
CLOSE AS YOU CAN.
THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.
AS THE CRIME FIGHTER
STALKED THE VILLAIN,
HE THOUGHT TO HIMSELF--
HOLD THE PHONE.
I'VE NEVER
FOUGHT CRIME BEFORE.
WHERE DO I START?
IT COULD COME IN
HANDY SOMEDAY.
HMM, IT'S WORTH A TRY.
I'M THE TERROR THAT
FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I'M THE HERO
EVERY CULTURE NEEDS.
I AM DARKWING DUCK!
NOW, THAT IS AN ENTRANCE.
IT'S ALL OVER.
THIS IS WHERE
GOOD TRIUMPHS OVER EVIL.
THIS IS WHERE
YOU BID BYE-BYE
TO YOUR MOLECULES.
NOW REMEMBER,
A CRIME FIGHTER
HAS TO LOOK DANGEROUS.
GRRR!
YOUR FACE COULD
STICK THAT WAY.
IT COULD COME IN
HANDY SOMEDAY.
SUCK GAS, EVILDOER!
[COUGHING]
IT COULD COME IN
HANDY SOMEDAY.
UGH! NOW--NOW, COUSIN,
YOU KNOW I WAS
ONLY KIDDING AROUND,
LIKE WE USED TO
IN THE OLD DAYS.
PLEASE?
OOH! UGH! OW!
OHH. THAT A BOY,
DARKWING.
UHH. I'M DEAD.
[SNORING]
[SNORING]
AHEM, AHEM, AHEM!
HUH? WHAT'S THAT?
OH, YOU'RE BACK.
WAKE UP,
FACE THE MUSIC.
I ASSUME YOU CHILDREN
HAVE A GOOD STORY?
THE JANITOR
WAS TELLING US--
WE HAVEN'T HAD A JANITOR
IN OVER 50 YEARS.
AH-CHOO!
YOUNG MAN,
LET ME SEE THAT.
WHY, IT'S
DARKWING DUCK'S MASK,
MISSING FOR
OVER 200 YEARS.
THANKS.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
NOW I THINK YOU CHILDREN...
HAVE...SOME...
EXPLAINING...TO--OHH!
[THUD]
SO HE'S JUST A MYTH,
A FICTIONAL CHARACTER
FOR INSECURE, INADEQUATE
HERO WORSHIPERS, HUH?
WELL, UH,
I SUPPOSE EVERY MYTH
HAS SOME BASIS
IN REALITY.