Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 1, Episode 31 - Adopt-a-Con - full transcript
Drake aka Darkwing Duck accidentally gets involved in an Adopt-a-Con program, and who should it turn out to be but his long-time enemy Tuskerninni? Darkwing is convinced that Tuskerninni still hasn't given up his life of crime, but whenever he tries to prove it, the villain has already covered his tracks. So Darkwing decides to use his alter ego Drake to pretend to be a crook in order to trick Tuskerninni into giving himself away. Things go wrong though and Tuskerninni takes the entire Mallard family hostage, demanding that Darkwing Duck come to free them! Can Darkwing meet Tuskerninni's demands without giving away his secret identity?
♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
YOUR NAME?
DARKWING DUCK.
YOUR OCCUPATION?
TERROR THAT FLAPS
IN THE NIGHT.
STATE YOUR CASE.
I CAUGHT THAT HATEFUL,
UNDERHANDED HAM TUSKERNINI
ROBBING A BANK.
I OBJECT,
YOUR HONOR.
I'M NOT A HAM.
DO YOU HAVE ANY EVIDENCE?
THESE REVIEWS
OF HIS PERFORMANCE
INSON OF MacBETH.
I MEAN THE BANK ROBBERY.
THESE NEWSREELS
OF TUSKERNINI
COMMITTING THE CRIME,
THIS SIGNED CONFESSION,
AND THE TESTIMONY
OF OVER 500 EYEWITNESSES.
HELLO.
FLIMSY EVIDENCE.
COUNSEL FOR THE DEFENSE.
BAAA!
A PENNY...
A CENT.
THROUGH...
IN A CENT!
YES, YOUR HONOR,
I'M INNOCENT.
WELL, A ROOSTER?
A WATER BUFFALO?
IT'S A SHEEP!
SOUNDS LIKE
A SHEEP...ASLEEP!
YES, I WAS ASLEEP,
YOUR HONOR.
I WAS IN A PICTURE.
SON OF KING LEAR,
I RECALL.
A PICTURE FRAME?
THAT'S IT--FRAMED!
ENOUGH OF THESE CHARADES!
I FIND YOU GUILTY!
BUT YOUR HONOR,
I WAS FRAMED
BY DARKWING DUCK.
WHAT? I'LL FRAME YOU,
ALL RIGHT!
ORDER IN THE COURT!
DARKWING, LET HIM GO
OR YOU'RE IN CONTEMPT.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
OH, GO AWAY.
I'VE HAD A ROUGH DAY.
IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY!
THE NEW LINE
OF QUACKWARE IS IN.
YOU GET
FIRST SHOT AT IT.
ANYTHING TO MAKE
HERB MUDDLEFOOT SHUT UP.
[KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK]
WILL YOU SIGN UP
FOR THIS
PROGRAM HERB AND I
VOLUNTEERED FOR?
ANYTHING TO MAKE
BINKIE MUDDLEFOOT SHUT UP.
[KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK]
WHAT COULD BE WORSE
THAN THE MUDDLEFOOTS?
NOW WHAT?
MEET OUR NEW
HOUSE GUEST, DRAKESTER.
[GRUNT]
DID YOU KNOW
YOUR HOUSE GUEST
IS THUG NEANDERTHAL,
A CONVICTED FELON?
OF COURSE WE DO,
SILLY.
THAT'S OUR
ADOPTED CONVICT.
A REAL PRIZE, TOO.
HIS CRIMES WERE
ESPECIALLY CRUEL
AND SENSELESS.
BUT BINKIE'S
COOKING WILL
TURN HIM AROUND.
DOING YOUR PART
FOR SOCIETY
BY ADOPTING
A CONVICTED CRIMINAL--
WHAT A GREAT IDEA.
WHAT A CHUMP.
YOUR ADOPTED CON
SHOULD BE HERE
ANY SECOND.
GOT TO GO, DRAKE.
YEAH, BYE.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
THE ADOPT-A-CON PROGRAM.
IT'S NICE YOU SIGNED UP.
[GULP]
I'M NOT PLAYING HOUSEMAID
TO A CRIMINAL.
DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
IF ANYONE KNOCKS,
DON'T ANSWER.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
I'LL GET IT.
IS MR. MALLARD HOME?
CONGRATULATIONS
ON SUPPORTING THE
ADOPT-A-CON PROGRAM
BY TAKING IN A
CONVICTED CRIMINAL.
HERE'S THE RULES--
PROVIDE
ROOM AND BOARD
AND RESPECT PRIVACY.
YOUR CONVICT
MUST NEVER LEAVE
YOUR HOUSE.
NEVER?
DURING HIS STAY,
HE MUST LEARN
A TRADE.
IF YOU
ATTEMPT TO DESTROY
THIS CONTRACT,
YOU WILL
BE IMPRISONED.
USE THIS
PANIC BUTTON
IN EMERGENCIES.
I'LL APPEAR
IMMEDIATELY.
ANY QUESTIONS?
COULDN'T I
SAVE WHALES INSTEAD?
NOW MEET YOUR NEW
HOUSE GUEST,
THE SOON
TO BE REFORMED
TUSKERNINI!
ENCHANTED,
MR. MALLARD.
I WAS MERELY RETURNING
THE MONEY I FOUND
WHEN DARKWING DUCK
APPEARED
AND ACCUSED ME
OF STEALING IT.
YOU DIDN'T ROB THAT BANK?
IS THIS THE FACE
OF A ROBBER?
WHAT A WIMP!
THE MUDDLEFOOTS
GOT A BETTER CRIMINAL.
MAYBE I SHOULD MAKE UP
MR. TUSKERNINI'S BED.
[HUMMINGROCK-A-BYE BABY]
ARE YOU O.K.?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THE JUDGE WANTS
TO REFORM TUSKERNINI.
I'M GOING
TO REFORM HIM--
INTO A PANCAKE!
THEN WE'LL ADOPT YOU
AFTER YOU'RE IN PRISON,
UNLESS YOU GET THE CHAIR.
I'LL WAIT
TILL TUSKERNINI
TRIES SOMETHING.
I'VE GOT HIM WHERE
I CAN WATCH HIM.
HE THINKS
I'M SOME FOOL,
BUT I'VE GOT
THE PERFECT COVER--
BY THE WAY,
I BOOBY-TRAPPED THE DOOR.
THE DISHES AREN'T DONE.
THE FLOOR ISN'T SWEPT.
THE TABLE ISN'T SET.
[ROAR]
WHAT'S EATING HIM, MAN?
THIS REMINDS ME
OF THE TIME
I WAS FILMING
IN THE AMAZON
AND WAS ATTACKED BY
A PREHISTORIC MEGASLOTH.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
WHAT THE--
ENTRE, ENTRE.
THE LAW
REQUIRES ME TO
LEARN A NEW TRADE,
SO I'M STARTING
MY OWN BAND.
I SMELL A RAT.
CAN'T I KEEP HIM, DAD?
THAT'S NOT
WHAT I MEANT.
HIYA. I LOVE
BAND INSTRUMENTS.
CAN I
TAKE A LOOK? HMM?
HUH?
YOU PLAY
LADY OF SPAIN?
A MOST SUITABLE COVER
FOR OUR OPERATION.
AN IDEAL LOCATION
FOR THE TUNNEL.
TO WORK, LADS,
AND KEEP QUIET!
SHH!
[DRILLING]
WHAT IS THAT RACKET?
WE'RE TUNING UP.
I'LL FIND OUT
WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE.
TUNNEL READY?
DOOR READY?
CATAPULT READY?
ACTION!
WHOO-HOO! IT'S A TAKE.
TIME FOR THIS
REFORMED CRIMINAL
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]
MAYBE HE IS
STARTING A BAND.
D.W., MEGAVOLT
IS ROBBING THE FIFTH
NATIONAL BANK.
YOU'RE A GENIUS,
TUSKERNINI.
NO ONE WILL SEE THROUGH
THIS BRILLIANT DISGUISE.
I'M THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT,
THE SLUG THAT CRAWLS--
WAIT, YOU'RE NOT MEGAVOLT.
YOU'RE TUSKERNINI
IN A BAD MEGAVOLT DISGUISE.
I'M NOT TUSKERNINI,
AND THIS IS
AN EXCELLENT DISGUISE.
REALLY? WELL, MEGAVOLT,
LET'S SEE YOU SHOCK ME.
COME ON, GIVE ME
YOUR BEST SHOCK.
BE MY GUEST.
HOW ABOUT THIS?
I'LL ZAP YOU
WITH MY MAGNETO-GUN.
IT'S ELECTRO-GUN,
AND THAT'S
A HAND VACUUM.
NOW SUCK GAS, EVIL DOER!
I THINK
I'M ON TO SOMETHING.
GIVE ME THAT!
PEE-EEW!
STINK GAS!
HE ESCAPED, BUT I KNOW
WHERE HE'S GOING.
I KNOW A SHORTCUT.
WAIT TILL
THE JUDGE SEES THIS.
THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
DARKWING DUCK?
I TOLD YOU
TO AVOID TUSKERNINI.
NO PROBLEM-O, SINCE
TUSKERNINI'S NOT HERE!
CAN I HELP YOU, GENTLEMEN?
WHAT IS THE MEANING
OF THIS?
HE TRIED TO ROB A BANK.
YOUR HONOR, HE'S TRYING
TO FRAME ME AGAIN.
WHY ARE YOU
DOING THIS TO ME?
IT'S TRUE, YOUR HONOR.
I'VE ROBBED BANKS,
RIPPED WARNING LABELS
OFF MATTRESSES,
AND OTHER BAD THINGS,
BUT THAT WAS
SO LONG AGO.
THAT WAS YESTERDAY.
I'VE TURNED OVER
A NEW LEAF,
SEEN THE LIGHT,
GONE STRAIGHT!
IT'S A MIRACLE!
I'M A REFORMED MAN!
HOW COULD YOU BE SO CRUEL?
THAT'S IT, DARKWING DUCK.
YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL!
I CAN'T!
I'VE GOT CROOKS TO CATCH.
I'M ROTATING
MY SOCK DRAWER.
WELL, BOYS, IT LOOKS LIKE
WE HAVE THE PERFECT COVER!
PSST! DAD!
GOSALYN,
GET ME OUT OF HERE!
I'VE BEEN IN HERE
OVER FIVE MINUTES.
I BAKED A CAKE
WITH A SAW.
400, 500.
YOUR HONOR, I'VE GOT THE $500
TO BAIL OUT DARKWING DUCK.
AHA!
ATTEMPTED
JAIL BREAK!
THE BAIL
IS NOW $5,000.
PSST! PSST!
HERE'S SOMETHING
TO DIG YOUR WAY OUT.
GREAT.
IT'S A POTATO PEELER.
MR. MUDDLEFOOT
BORROWED THE SHOVEL.
I'VE GOT THE 5,000,
YOUR HONOR.
AHA!
MAKE THAT $50,000.
NOW WHAT?
I'VE GOT JUST
THE THING THIS TIME.
GOSALYN, NO!
GET ME OUT OF HERE!
I'VE GOT THE 50,000,
YOUR HONOR.
BAIL'S BEEN POSTED.
YOU'RE FREE TO GO.
AND NO MORE FUNNY STUFF.
HE'S GOING TO PAY FOR THAT.
I'LL GIVE HIM A TASTE
OF HIS OWN MEDICINE,
TURN THE TABLES ON HIM.
YOU'RE GOING
TO GIVE HIM ASPIRIN
AND REARRANGE
HIS FURNITURE?
NO. WE'RE TAKING UP
AMATEUR ACTING.
WHERE'D YOU GET
THE BAIL MONEY?
I SOLD
A FEW OF YOUR THINGS.
WHERE IS EVERYONE?
I HAVE AN EXTREMELY LONG
BUT HIGHLY AMUSING STORY
TO TELL.
♪ LAH DEE DAH DEE DO ♪♪
AM I INTRUDING?
NO. WE'RE NOT INVOLVED
IN A CRIMINAL CONSPIRACY.
HMM...
IT'S NO USE.
HE'S TOO SMART FOR US.
HE KNOWS WE'RE
THE MAD DUCK MALLARD GANG.
THE MAD DUCK MALLARD GANG?
WE'VE GOT PLANS
FOR THE PERFECT CRIME--
ROBBING THE NATIONAL MINT.
WE GOT MAPS, MODELS,
AND SATELLITE
SURVEILLANCE PHOTOS.
EVERYTHING'S WORKED OUT
TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL...
EXCEPT GETTING IN AND OUT.
HEY, I JUST GOT
A GREAT IDEA.
MAYBE TUSKERNINI
CAN HELP US.
GOSALYN, WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO HELP REFORM TUSKERNINI,
NOT ASK HIM TO
HELP STEAL $10 ZILLION.
RIGHT. I'M A REFORMED...
HOW MUCH DID YOU SAY?
$10 ZILLION.
NOT THAT REFORMED.
THEY'VE COMPLETED
THE TUNNEL
TO THE MINT.
NOW, WHAT
IS YOUR PLAN?
WE GO INSIDE,
TAKE THE MONEY,
AND LEAVE.
OH, GOOD PLAN.
ONCE INSIDE, YOU TRIP
THE SILENT ALARM,
THEN SEAL THE TUNNEL.
GOS, YOU HIT
THE PANIC BUTTON.
HUH?
O.K., LET'S GO.
PUT THESE ON
FIRST.
WHY? WE GOING
TO A LUAU?
WE AREN'T GOING
TO ROB THE BANK.
BUSHROOT IS.
O.K., LAUNCHPAD,
HIT THE ALARM.
[ALARM RINGS]
I SAID
THE SILENT ALARM!
SORRY, DAD.
GOSALYN,
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
I THOUGHT I TRIPPED
THE ALARM.
YOU'RE NOT--
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
HEY, DRAKE,
I SEALED THE TUNNEL.
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT
AFTER WE GOT INTO IT.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
[GUNSHOTS]
IT'S LOCKED!
THIS IS THE POLICE.
YOU'RE SURROUNDED.
THIS IS A SETUP, RIGHT?
YOU KNOW WHAT I DO TO PEOPLE
WHO SET ME UP?
B-BUT WE DIDN'T DO IT!
DARKWING DUCK SET US UP.
WHAT HE SAID.
DARKWING DUCK HAS RUINED
EACH OF MY SCHEMES.
I'D LIKE TO FINISH HIM
FOR GOOD.
YEAH, IT'S TOO BAD
HE'S NOT AROUND.
DON'T WORRY. I'LL SEE
THAT HE SHOWS UP.
COME OUT
WITH YOUR HANDS UP
OR WE'RE COMING IN.
HOLD YOUR FIRE, COPPERS.
THIS IS BUSHROOT,
THE PLANT GUY.
I'VE GOT HOSTAGES.
HAND OVER DARKWING DUCK
OR THE HOSTAGES
BUY THE FARM!
OH!
DARKWING DUCK'S
A LITTLE TIED UP
RIGHT NOW.
YOU HAVE ONE MINUTE TO
HAND OVER DARKWING DUCK.
LET'S MAKE A BREAK!
WE'LL JUST HAVE
TO GIVE HIM
DARKWING DUCK.
COVER FOR ME.
A LITTLE TRICK
I LEARNED
FROM A CONSCIENTIOUS
CONTORTIONIST.
FORGOT WE'RE ON
THE TOP FLOOR.
YOU HAVE 45 SECONDS
TO HAND OVER
DARKWING DUCK.
PLENTY OF TIME
FOR THE MASTER
OF TIME AND SPACE.
HOW TIME FLIES WHEN ATTACKED
BY A VICIOUS DOG.
OH, GREAT. AN
ALLIGATOR-FILLED MOAT.
GREAT. WHAT A SURPRISE--
THE SAHARA DESERT.
YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS
TO HAND OVER DARKWING DUCK.
GOOD THING I BROUGHT
A SPARE COSTUME.
FEAR NO MORE, GENTLEMEN.
DARKWING DUCK IS HERE.
GANGWAY! WHAT'S
GOING ON HERE?
IT BETTER BE GOOD.
BUSHROOT WON'T
RELEASE HIS HOSTAGES
UNLESS WE HAND OVER
DARKWING DUCK.
WHAT? HOSTAGES?
I CAN'T THINK OF MYSELF.
INNOCENT CITIZENS
ARE IN DANGER.
I'LL HAND MYSELF OVER.
NO SACRIFICE IS--
GOOD! HE'S YOURS,
BUSHROOT.
WE WANT
THE HOSTAGES FIRST.
I'M SURE
THEY'RE O.K.
SHOW ME THE HOSTAGES
OR NO DEAL.
FORGOT MY LUCKY SOCKS.
BE RIGHT BACK.
EVERYBODY TO THE WINDOW.
HERE THEY ARE.
I WON'T RELEASE THEM
UNTIL YOU SEND IN
DARKWING DUCK.
IS THAT NECESSARY?
WE'LL GO FIRST.
DARKWING DUCK FIRST
OR NO DEAL.
YOU GET DARKWING
AFTER YOU SEND OUT
THE HOSTAGES.
I GO IN
OR I BREAK YOUR GAVEL!
NEVER MIND.
IF BUSHROOT DOESN'T
STOP THAT DUCK, I WILL.
O.K., TUSKI, YOU AND ME.
COME ON, LET'S PARTY.
YOU MAY GO
IF YOU TELL EVERYONE
I AM NOT TUSKERNINI.
I PROMISE.
[DEEP VOICE]
I PROMISE.
TELL THE PRESS
ABOUT MY RESCUE. CAPITAL Ds.
I'VE BEEN WRITTEN
OUT OF THE SHOW.
YOU'RE
COMING WITH ME.
CALM DOWN, TWOFERS.
EVERYTHING'S O.K.
I'LL SPEAK TO THE PRODUCER.
I SHOULD'VE
THOUGHT OF THAT.
FREEZE!
NOT SO FAST.
I SAID FREEZE!
TUSKERNINI!
OH, DARKWING DUCK
FRAMED ME.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
YEP, EVEN HERB MUDDLEFOOT
COULDN'T RUIN MY DAY.
SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT
YOUR ADOPTED CON
NOT WORKING OUT, DRAKESTER.
BROKE ME UP, TOO.
THEY PUT HIM AWAY.
ONCE A CROOK,
ALWAYS A CROOK.
NOT SO, DRAKE.
REMEMBER THUG?
HE'S REFORMED!
PERHAPS YOU'D BE
INTERESTED IN OUR
QUACK OIL PRODUCTS.
GUARANTEED TO LAST
A MILLENNIUM.
NOT JUST A
MECHANICAL DEVICE.
IT'S A MIRACLE.
THE CHANGING
OF THE AGES.
I THINK I LIKED HIM
BETTER BEFORE.
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
YOUR NAME?
DARKWING DUCK.
YOUR OCCUPATION?
TERROR THAT FLAPS
IN THE NIGHT.
STATE YOUR CASE.
I CAUGHT THAT HATEFUL,
UNDERHANDED HAM TUSKERNINI
ROBBING A BANK.
I OBJECT,
YOUR HONOR.
I'M NOT A HAM.
DO YOU HAVE ANY EVIDENCE?
THESE REVIEWS
OF HIS PERFORMANCE
INSON OF MacBETH.
I MEAN THE BANK ROBBERY.
THESE NEWSREELS
OF TUSKERNINI
COMMITTING THE CRIME,
THIS SIGNED CONFESSION,
AND THE TESTIMONY
OF OVER 500 EYEWITNESSES.
HELLO.
FLIMSY EVIDENCE.
COUNSEL FOR THE DEFENSE.
BAAA!
A PENNY...
A CENT.
THROUGH...
IN A CENT!
YES, YOUR HONOR,
I'M INNOCENT.
WELL, A ROOSTER?
A WATER BUFFALO?
IT'S A SHEEP!
SOUNDS LIKE
A SHEEP...ASLEEP!
YES, I WAS ASLEEP,
YOUR HONOR.
I WAS IN A PICTURE.
SON OF KING LEAR,
I RECALL.
A PICTURE FRAME?
THAT'S IT--FRAMED!
ENOUGH OF THESE CHARADES!
I FIND YOU GUILTY!
BUT YOUR HONOR,
I WAS FRAMED
BY DARKWING DUCK.
WHAT? I'LL FRAME YOU,
ALL RIGHT!
ORDER IN THE COURT!
DARKWING, LET HIM GO
OR YOU'RE IN CONTEMPT.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
OH, GO AWAY.
I'VE HAD A ROUGH DAY.
IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY!
THE NEW LINE
OF QUACKWARE IS IN.
YOU GET
FIRST SHOT AT IT.
ANYTHING TO MAKE
HERB MUDDLEFOOT SHUT UP.
[KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK]
WILL YOU SIGN UP
FOR THIS
PROGRAM HERB AND I
VOLUNTEERED FOR?
ANYTHING TO MAKE
BINKIE MUDDLEFOOT SHUT UP.
[KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK]
WHAT COULD BE WORSE
THAN THE MUDDLEFOOTS?
NOW WHAT?
MEET OUR NEW
HOUSE GUEST, DRAKESTER.
[GRUNT]
DID YOU KNOW
YOUR HOUSE GUEST
IS THUG NEANDERTHAL,
A CONVICTED FELON?
OF COURSE WE DO,
SILLY.
THAT'S OUR
ADOPTED CONVICT.
A REAL PRIZE, TOO.
HIS CRIMES WERE
ESPECIALLY CRUEL
AND SENSELESS.
BUT BINKIE'S
COOKING WILL
TURN HIM AROUND.
DOING YOUR PART
FOR SOCIETY
BY ADOPTING
A CONVICTED CRIMINAL--
WHAT A GREAT IDEA.
WHAT A CHUMP.
YOUR ADOPTED CON
SHOULD BE HERE
ANY SECOND.
GOT TO GO, DRAKE.
YEAH, BYE.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
THE ADOPT-A-CON PROGRAM.
IT'S NICE YOU SIGNED UP.
[GULP]
I'M NOT PLAYING HOUSEMAID
TO A CRIMINAL.
DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
IF ANYONE KNOCKS,
DON'T ANSWER.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
I'LL GET IT.
IS MR. MALLARD HOME?
CONGRATULATIONS
ON SUPPORTING THE
ADOPT-A-CON PROGRAM
BY TAKING IN A
CONVICTED CRIMINAL.
HERE'S THE RULES--
PROVIDE
ROOM AND BOARD
AND RESPECT PRIVACY.
YOUR CONVICT
MUST NEVER LEAVE
YOUR HOUSE.
NEVER?
DURING HIS STAY,
HE MUST LEARN
A TRADE.
IF YOU
ATTEMPT TO DESTROY
THIS CONTRACT,
YOU WILL
BE IMPRISONED.
USE THIS
PANIC BUTTON
IN EMERGENCIES.
I'LL APPEAR
IMMEDIATELY.
ANY QUESTIONS?
COULDN'T I
SAVE WHALES INSTEAD?
NOW MEET YOUR NEW
HOUSE GUEST,
THE SOON
TO BE REFORMED
TUSKERNINI!
ENCHANTED,
MR. MALLARD.
I WAS MERELY RETURNING
THE MONEY I FOUND
WHEN DARKWING DUCK
APPEARED
AND ACCUSED ME
OF STEALING IT.
YOU DIDN'T ROB THAT BANK?
IS THIS THE FACE
OF A ROBBER?
WHAT A WIMP!
THE MUDDLEFOOTS
GOT A BETTER CRIMINAL.
MAYBE I SHOULD MAKE UP
MR. TUSKERNINI'S BED.
[HUMMINGROCK-A-BYE BABY]
ARE YOU O.K.?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THE JUDGE WANTS
TO REFORM TUSKERNINI.
I'M GOING
TO REFORM HIM--
INTO A PANCAKE!
THEN WE'LL ADOPT YOU
AFTER YOU'RE IN PRISON,
UNLESS YOU GET THE CHAIR.
I'LL WAIT
TILL TUSKERNINI
TRIES SOMETHING.
I'VE GOT HIM WHERE
I CAN WATCH HIM.
HE THINKS
I'M SOME FOOL,
BUT I'VE GOT
THE PERFECT COVER--
BY THE WAY,
I BOOBY-TRAPPED THE DOOR.
THE DISHES AREN'T DONE.
THE FLOOR ISN'T SWEPT.
THE TABLE ISN'T SET.
[ROAR]
WHAT'S EATING HIM, MAN?
THIS REMINDS ME
OF THE TIME
I WAS FILMING
IN THE AMAZON
AND WAS ATTACKED BY
A PREHISTORIC MEGASLOTH.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
WHAT THE--
ENTRE, ENTRE.
THE LAW
REQUIRES ME TO
LEARN A NEW TRADE,
SO I'M STARTING
MY OWN BAND.
I SMELL A RAT.
CAN'T I KEEP HIM, DAD?
THAT'S NOT
WHAT I MEANT.
HIYA. I LOVE
BAND INSTRUMENTS.
CAN I
TAKE A LOOK? HMM?
HUH?
YOU PLAY
LADY OF SPAIN?
A MOST SUITABLE COVER
FOR OUR OPERATION.
AN IDEAL LOCATION
FOR THE TUNNEL.
TO WORK, LADS,
AND KEEP QUIET!
SHH!
[DRILLING]
WHAT IS THAT RACKET?
WE'RE TUNING UP.
I'LL FIND OUT
WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE.
TUNNEL READY?
DOOR READY?
CATAPULT READY?
ACTION!
WHOO-HOO! IT'S A TAKE.
TIME FOR THIS
REFORMED CRIMINAL
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]
MAYBE HE IS
STARTING A BAND.
D.W., MEGAVOLT
IS ROBBING THE FIFTH
NATIONAL BANK.
YOU'RE A GENIUS,
TUSKERNINI.
NO ONE WILL SEE THROUGH
THIS BRILLIANT DISGUISE.
I'M THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT,
THE SLUG THAT CRAWLS--
WAIT, YOU'RE NOT MEGAVOLT.
YOU'RE TUSKERNINI
IN A BAD MEGAVOLT DISGUISE.
I'M NOT TUSKERNINI,
AND THIS IS
AN EXCELLENT DISGUISE.
REALLY? WELL, MEGAVOLT,
LET'S SEE YOU SHOCK ME.
COME ON, GIVE ME
YOUR BEST SHOCK.
BE MY GUEST.
HOW ABOUT THIS?
I'LL ZAP YOU
WITH MY MAGNETO-GUN.
IT'S ELECTRO-GUN,
AND THAT'S
A HAND VACUUM.
NOW SUCK GAS, EVIL DOER!
I THINK
I'M ON TO SOMETHING.
GIVE ME THAT!
PEE-EEW!
STINK GAS!
HE ESCAPED, BUT I KNOW
WHERE HE'S GOING.
I KNOW A SHORTCUT.
WAIT TILL
THE JUDGE SEES THIS.
THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
DARKWING DUCK?
I TOLD YOU
TO AVOID TUSKERNINI.
NO PROBLEM-O, SINCE
TUSKERNINI'S NOT HERE!
CAN I HELP YOU, GENTLEMEN?
WHAT IS THE MEANING
OF THIS?
HE TRIED TO ROB A BANK.
YOUR HONOR, HE'S TRYING
TO FRAME ME AGAIN.
WHY ARE YOU
DOING THIS TO ME?
IT'S TRUE, YOUR HONOR.
I'VE ROBBED BANKS,
RIPPED WARNING LABELS
OFF MATTRESSES,
AND OTHER BAD THINGS,
BUT THAT WAS
SO LONG AGO.
THAT WAS YESTERDAY.
I'VE TURNED OVER
A NEW LEAF,
SEEN THE LIGHT,
GONE STRAIGHT!
IT'S A MIRACLE!
I'M A REFORMED MAN!
HOW COULD YOU BE SO CRUEL?
THAT'S IT, DARKWING DUCK.
YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL!
I CAN'T!
I'VE GOT CROOKS TO CATCH.
I'M ROTATING
MY SOCK DRAWER.
WELL, BOYS, IT LOOKS LIKE
WE HAVE THE PERFECT COVER!
PSST! DAD!
GOSALYN,
GET ME OUT OF HERE!
I'VE BEEN IN HERE
OVER FIVE MINUTES.
I BAKED A CAKE
WITH A SAW.
400, 500.
YOUR HONOR, I'VE GOT THE $500
TO BAIL OUT DARKWING DUCK.
AHA!
ATTEMPTED
JAIL BREAK!
THE BAIL
IS NOW $5,000.
PSST! PSST!
HERE'S SOMETHING
TO DIG YOUR WAY OUT.
GREAT.
IT'S A POTATO PEELER.
MR. MUDDLEFOOT
BORROWED THE SHOVEL.
I'VE GOT THE 5,000,
YOUR HONOR.
AHA!
MAKE THAT $50,000.
NOW WHAT?
I'VE GOT JUST
THE THING THIS TIME.
GOSALYN, NO!
GET ME OUT OF HERE!
I'VE GOT THE 50,000,
YOUR HONOR.
BAIL'S BEEN POSTED.
YOU'RE FREE TO GO.
AND NO MORE FUNNY STUFF.
HE'S GOING TO PAY FOR THAT.
I'LL GIVE HIM A TASTE
OF HIS OWN MEDICINE,
TURN THE TABLES ON HIM.
YOU'RE GOING
TO GIVE HIM ASPIRIN
AND REARRANGE
HIS FURNITURE?
NO. WE'RE TAKING UP
AMATEUR ACTING.
WHERE'D YOU GET
THE BAIL MONEY?
I SOLD
A FEW OF YOUR THINGS.
WHERE IS EVERYONE?
I HAVE AN EXTREMELY LONG
BUT HIGHLY AMUSING STORY
TO TELL.
♪ LAH DEE DAH DEE DO ♪♪
AM I INTRUDING?
NO. WE'RE NOT INVOLVED
IN A CRIMINAL CONSPIRACY.
HMM...
IT'S NO USE.
HE'S TOO SMART FOR US.
HE KNOWS WE'RE
THE MAD DUCK MALLARD GANG.
THE MAD DUCK MALLARD GANG?
WE'VE GOT PLANS
FOR THE PERFECT CRIME--
ROBBING THE NATIONAL MINT.
WE GOT MAPS, MODELS,
AND SATELLITE
SURVEILLANCE PHOTOS.
EVERYTHING'S WORKED OUT
TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL...
EXCEPT GETTING IN AND OUT.
HEY, I JUST GOT
A GREAT IDEA.
MAYBE TUSKERNINI
CAN HELP US.
GOSALYN, WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO HELP REFORM TUSKERNINI,
NOT ASK HIM TO
HELP STEAL $10 ZILLION.
RIGHT. I'M A REFORMED...
HOW MUCH DID YOU SAY?
$10 ZILLION.
NOT THAT REFORMED.
THEY'VE COMPLETED
THE TUNNEL
TO THE MINT.
NOW, WHAT
IS YOUR PLAN?
WE GO INSIDE,
TAKE THE MONEY,
AND LEAVE.
OH, GOOD PLAN.
ONCE INSIDE, YOU TRIP
THE SILENT ALARM,
THEN SEAL THE TUNNEL.
GOS, YOU HIT
THE PANIC BUTTON.
HUH?
O.K., LET'S GO.
PUT THESE ON
FIRST.
WHY? WE GOING
TO A LUAU?
WE AREN'T GOING
TO ROB THE BANK.
BUSHROOT IS.
O.K., LAUNCHPAD,
HIT THE ALARM.
[ALARM RINGS]
I SAID
THE SILENT ALARM!
SORRY, DAD.
GOSALYN,
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
I THOUGHT I TRIPPED
THE ALARM.
YOU'RE NOT--
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
HEY, DRAKE,
I SEALED THE TUNNEL.
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT
AFTER WE GOT INTO IT.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
[GUNSHOTS]
IT'S LOCKED!
THIS IS THE POLICE.
YOU'RE SURROUNDED.
THIS IS A SETUP, RIGHT?
YOU KNOW WHAT I DO TO PEOPLE
WHO SET ME UP?
B-BUT WE DIDN'T DO IT!
DARKWING DUCK SET US UP.
WHAT HE SAID.
DARKWING DUCK HAS RUINED
EACH OF MY SCHEMES.
I'D LIKE TO FINISH HIM
FOR GOOD.
YEAH, IT'S TOO BAD
HE'S NOT AROUND.
DON'T WORRY. I'LL SEE
THAT HE SHOWS UP.
COME OUT
WITH YOUR HANDS UP
OR WE'RE COMING IN.
HOLD YOUR FIRE, COPPERS.
THIS IS BUSHROOT,
THE PLANT GUY.
I'VE GOT HOSTAGES.
HAND OVER DARKWING DUCK
OR THE HOSTAGES
BUY THE FARM!
OH!
DARKWING DUCK'S
A LITTLE TIED UP
RIGHT NOW.
YOU HAVE ONE MINUTE TO
HAND OVER DARKWING DUCK.
LET'S MAKE A BREAK!
WE'LL JUST HAVE
TO GIVE HIM
DARKWING DUCK.
COVER FOR ME.
A LITTLE TRICK
I LEARNED
FROM A CONSCIENTIOUS
CONTORTIONIST.
FORGOT WE'RE ON
THE TOP FLOOR.
YOU HAVE 45 SECONDS
TO HAND OVER
DARKWING DUCK.
PLENTY OF TIME
FOR THE MASTER
OF TIME AND SPACE.
HOW TIME FLIES WHEN ATTACKED
BY A VICIOUS DOG.
OH, GREAT. AN
ALLIGATOR-FILLED MOAT.
GREAT. WHAT A SURPRISE--
THE SAHARA DESERT.
YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS
TO HAND OVER DARKWING DUCK.
GOOD THING I BROUGHT
A SPARE COSTUME.
FEAR NO MORE, GENTLEMEN.
DARKWING DUCK IS HERE.
GANGWAY! WHAT'S
GOING ON HERE?
IT BETTER BE GOOD.
BUSHROOT WON'T
RELEASE HIS HOSTAGES
UNLESS WE HAND OVER
DARKWING DUCK.
WHAT? HOSTAGES?
I CAN'T THINK OF MYSELF.
INNOCENT CITIZENS
ARE IN DANGER.
I'LL HAND MYSELF OVER.
NO SACRIFICE IS--
GOOD! HE'S YOURS,
BUSHROOT.
WE WANT
THE HOSTAGES FIRST.
I'M SURE
THEY'RE O.K.
SHOW ME THE HOSTAGES
OR NO DEAL.
FORGOT MY LUCKY SOCKS.
BE RIGHT BACK.
EVERYBODY TO THE WINDOW.
HERE THEY ARE.
I WON'T RELEASE THEM
UNTIL YOU SEND IN
DARKWING DUCK.
IS THAT NECESSARY?
WE'LL GO FIRST.
DARKWING DUCK FIRST
OR NO DEAL.
YOU GET DARKWING
AFTER YOU SEND OUT
THE HOSTAGES.
I GO IN
OR I BREAK YOUR GAVEL!
NEVER MIND.
IF BUSHROOT DOESN'T
STOP THAT DUCK, I WILL.
O.K., TUSKI, YOU AND ME.
COME ON, LET'S PARTY.
YOU MAY GO
IF YOU TELL EVERYONE
I AM NOT TUSKERNINI.
I PROMISE.
[DEEP VOICE]
I PROMISE.
TELL THE PRESS
ABOUT MY RESCUE. CAPITAL Ds.
I'VE BEEN WRITTEN
OUT OF THE SHOW.
YOU'RE
COMING WITH ME.
CALM DOWN, TWOFERS.
EVERYTHING'S O.K.
I'LL SPEAK TO THE PRODUCER.
I SHOULD'VE
THOUGHT OF THAT.
FREEZE!
NOT SO FAST.
I SAID FREEZE!
TUSKERNINI!
OH, DARKWING DUCK
FRAMED ME.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
YEP, EVEN HERB MUDDLEFOOT
COULDN'T RUIN MY DAY.
SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT
YOUR ADOPTED CON
NOT WORKING OUT, DRAKESTER.
BROKE ME UP, TOO.
THEY PUT HIM AWAY.
ONCE A CROOK,
ALWAYS A CROOK.
NOT SO, DRAKE.
REMEMBER THUG?
HE'S REFORMED!
PERHAPS YOU'D BE
INTERESTED IN OUR
QUACK OIL PRODUCTS.
GUARANTEED TO LAST
A MILLENNIUM.
NOT JUST A
MECHANICAL DEVICE.
IT'S A MIRACLE.
THE CHANGING
OF THE AGES.
I THINK I LIKED HIM
BETTER BEFORE.