Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 1, Episode 25 - Jurassic Jumble - full transcript
Gosalyn and Honker find dinosaurs.
♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
TAKE A LETTER, MARIA,
TO MR. NUMERO UNO,
CARE OF
ST. CANARD PRISON.
DEAR MR. UNO,
SORRY ABOUT
YOUR CONVICTION
ON TAX EVASION
CHARGES,
BUT YOU NEED TO PAY
FOR YOUR DEFENSE--NOW!
LOVE, ET CETERA,
ET CETERA.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
SHYSTER AND LOOPHOLE,
TAX ATTORNEYS.
COULD THIS BE
THE SHYSTER AND LOOPHOLE?
NOT THE
TAX ATTORNEYS.
YES.
MUST HAVE
THE WRONG NUMBER.
AAH!
I AM THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT,
THE PAPER CUT
THAT RUINS YOUR MORNING.
I'M--
LET ME GUESS--
DAY-CARE DUCK.
I TOLD YOU NEVER
TO FOLLOW ME TO WORK.
THERE WAS NOTHING
ON TV.
JUST IMPRESSIONABLE
ROLLER SKATERS
I RESCUED FROM
A BURNING SIDEWALK.
AHEM.
WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE
SHYSTER AND LOOPHOLE?
THEY WERE DICTATING
MR. UNO'S LETTER.
THE MATH GENIUS
SERVING TWO TO FOUR
FOR EVADING TAXES
ON HIS
5-AND-10-CENT STORES
12 MONTHS AGO?
RUN ALONG AND PLAY,
CHILD WHOM
I'VE NEVER MET BEFORE.
[GASPS]
NUMERO UNO, A CONVICTED
NUMBERS CRIMINAL.
IT ADDS UP TO A
VENGEANCE MOTIVE TO ME.
THERE'S UH--UH...
YES?
SPIT IT OUT!
A HOOF PRINT,
PREHISTORIC,
OVER THERE.
PREHISTORIC?
YOU MEAN DINOSAURS
IN THIS DAY AND AGE?
HEH HEH HEH!
DINOSAURS?
THIS IS OBVIOUSLY
THE WORK
OF FUGITIVE
MARTIAN GEEKS.
CHARMING, AREN'T THEY?
NOW GET ALONG NOW,
CHILDREN.
HEY, WAIT!
AREN'T WE GOING TO NAIL
THOSE ALIEN DIRTBAGS?
I THINK
THAT MEANS NO.
PREHISTORIC FOOTPRINTS--
THIS COULD GET ME
AN "A" ON MY PROJECT.
DARKWING DUCK
GETS ADVENTURE.
WHAT DO I GET?
HOMEWORK.
CAN WE GO HOME YET?
WE HAVEN'T RUN OUT
OF DINOSAUR PRINTS.
DINOSAURS
ARE EXTINCT.
I KNOW.
THEY DON'T EXIST.
I KNOW!
SO, WHAT ARE THEY?
DINOSAUR PRINTS.
THIS IS YOUR WARDEN.
THANK YOU
FOR NOT ESCAPING.
ENJOY YOUR STAY
AT THE ST. CANARD
MINIMUM SECURITY PRISON.
THERE'S NUMERO UNO.
I'LL NAB THAT
NEFARIOUS LAWYER-NAPPER
WITH THE HELP OF
MY NEW ELASTO-SUSPENDERS.
THE SOARING SLEUTH
SKILLFULLY SEVERS
HIS SUSPENDER SNAPS.
OH...
SO SEVER, ALREADY.
COME ON.
UNFASTEN, SNAPS.
UNBUCKLE!
OW!
FORE!
HOW PERFECTLY
LOGICAL.
DINOSAUR PRINTS LEAD TO
A NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM.
SOMETHING TELLS ME
HE'S NOT OUR GUY, HONK.
[CRASH]
WHAT WAS THAT?
MAYBE IT'S
THE LAWYER-NAPPERS.
OH, BOY!
IT CAME
FROM OVER THERE.
NOW WE'RE ON
THE RIGHT TRACK.
NOW WE'RE
ON THE RIGHT TRACK.
UNO'S DAYS
ARE NUMBERED.
I CAN JUST LAND
THETHUNDERQUACK, D.W.
DON'T BOTHER, L.P.
I'M GETTING THESE
TO WORK
IF IT KILLS ME.
BRONZED OR BURNT, UNO.
YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!
OH, DEAR,
I AM STARTING TO BURN.
WHERE'S MY 25 SUNSCREEN?
I'M GONE.
UM, UM, UM...
NO LAWYER-NAPPERS
AROUND HERE.
BOY, PEOPLE LEAVE
THEIR GARBAGE ANYWHERE.
COME ON, HONK.
LET'S RECYCLE.
OH...
AH--AH--
SO MUCH
FOR YOUR LIVE
DINOSAUR THEORY.
AH-CHOO!
HE LOOKS LIKE
A LIVE ONE TO ME.
WHEW!
EXCUSE ME.
AAH!
HEY--
OH, SORRY.
COME BACK!
PARDON ME.
I WON'T HURT YOU!
SORRY. WAIT!
OH--OH, NO,
I'M--
WHOA!
WHEW!
OOPS.
SORRY.
UH, YOU'RE
A STEGOSAURUS,
AREN'T YOU?
THE PLATED LIZARD
FROM THE LATE
JURASSIC PERIOD.
DON'T KNOW.
I WAS A JANITOR.
MONDO! YOU TALK!
YEAH.
MY NAME'S STEGMUTT,
BUT MY FRIEND,
DR. FOSSIL,
CALLS ME,
UH, STEGMUTT.
WELL, UM...
I'M HONKER
MUDDLEFOOT,
STUDENT OF SCIENCE.
GOSALYN MALLARD--
MARTIAN HUNTER, FREELANCE.
WOW! YOU REALLY
HUNT MARTIANS?
YEAH.
DO YOU REALLY
WHACK TYRANNOSAURUSES
WITH THAT TAIL?
THAT? NO. I USE IT
TO OPEN SODAS.
OH, BUMMER.
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
MUSEUM'S CLOSED.
WELL, UM,
I'M RESEARCHING
DINOSAURS
FOR MY SCHOOL
SCIENCE PROJECT.
DID YOU COME
TO THE RIGHT PLACE?
YOU WANT TO SEE
A REAL SCIENCE PROJECT?
UH...
SURE!
I'VE GOT
JUST THE THING
TO KEEP MY FEET
ON THE GROUND.
I'VE GOT
YOUR NUMBER, UNO,
AND IT IS UP!
I--I DO BELIEVE
I FEEL A DRAFT.
[BELL DINGS]
[THUD]
HEY, THIS IS SOME PAD.
UH, DR. FOSSIL?
IT'S ABOUT TIME,
STEGMUTT.
I WAS BORED
WATCHING MY TALONS GROW.
THOSE AREN'T
CIRCUS ELEPHANTS.
CIRCUS ELEPHANTS JUGGLE
AND WEAR FUNNY HATS.
I KNOW,
DR. FOSSIL.
THESE ARE
MY NEW FRIENDS.
I DIDN'T ASK
FOR NEW FRIENDS.
I ASKED FOR
CIRCUS ELEPHANTS!
CAN I SHOW THEM
YOUR SECRET INVENTION?
I DON'T SEE
ANY SECRET INVENTION.
OH, GOOD.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
STEGMUTT,
SECRETS ARE THINGS
NOBODY ELSE KNOWS ABOUT.
THIS IS DR. FOSSIL'S
RETRO-EVOLUTION GUN.
NAH, NO SECRETS HERE.
PARDONMOI,
RETRO-WHAT-O?
CAN I EXPLAIN,
DR. FOSSIL, CAN I?
NO!
IT'S GREAT
FOR REHEATING LEFTOVERS,
AND IT TURNS PEOPLE
INTO DINOSAURS.
AAH!
I'LL SHOW YOU.
OOPS.
SORRY, DR. FOSSIL.
STEGMUTT BREAKS
A LOT OF HANDLES.
I USE MITTS TO HOLD
MY COCOA MUG.
DON'T WORRY,
DR. FOSSIL.
I'LL OPEN IT.
IF HIS STRENGTH
WEREN'T SO HANDY,
I'D RETRO-EVOLVE HIM
TO AMOEBA.
MY, UP UNTIL
TWO MINUTES AGO,
SECRET COLLECTION.
NIFTY, HUH?
WE'VE GOT
ICE SHOW PENGUINS,
ROCK MUSICIANS,
TAX ATTORNEYS.
SHYSTER AND LOOPHOLE!
THEY'RE
MY FRIENDS, TOO.
WHAT'S THE POINT?
THE POINT, KIDDO,
IS THAT I BELIEVE DINOSAURS
BECAME EXTINCT
WHEN A COMET--BAM! BOOM!
WHACKED OUR PLANET.
THE POINT IS THE
FAMOUS CLEANSER'S COMET
IS DUE TO PASS
ABOVE US TONIGHT.
THE POINT--
HAVE YOU LEFT
THE BATHROOM LIGHT
ON AGAIN?
NOPE.
WELL, MAKE SURE.
HE'S IN THE DARK
ON CERTAIN DETAILS.
HE UPSETS EASILY.
THE POINT IS
TONIGHT,
WITH THE HELP OF THE
LARGEST SUPERMAGNET,
THAT COMET'S GOING
TO GIVE DINOSAURS
A SECOND CHANCE!
Y-YOU MEAN
BAM! BOOM?
YOU GOT IT, SHORTY.
DINOSAURS WILL
TROMP THROUGH
THE TULIPS AGAIN!
OK,
YOU LIKE DINOSAURS.
WHY WIPE OUT MANKIND?
IT'S HARD
BEING A DINOSAUR
IN A MAN'S WORLD.
THE STARES,
THE RESENTMENT.
PEOPLE RUNNING
IN THE STREETS
SCREAMING,
"LOOK, LOOK.
IT'S GODZILLA!"
WOULDN'T
IT BE EASIER
TO CHANGE BACK
INTO A MAN?
A WISENHEIMER, HUH?
YOU THINK I'M FUNNY,
HERE TO AMUSE YOU?
APPARENTLY,
THE WORLD DOES, TOO.
T-SHIRTS, BATH TOYS,
COMIC BOOKS,
CHOCOLATE-COVERED
SANDWICH COOKIES!
WE DINOSAURS DON'T
GET ANY RESPECT!
WHERE'S MY SODA?
NEVER MIND THAT.
I WAS EXPECTING
CIRCUS ELEPHANTS,
BUT A COUPLE
OF SMART KIDS
WILL DO JUST AS WELL.
WELL, SAY...
[ALARM RINGS]
WELL, 6:00.
TIME TO STEAL THE
LARGEST SUPERMAGNET!
BAM!
BOOM!
I STILL SAY
UNO'S OUR MAN.
LET'S GRAB MY X-RAY GOGGLES
AND EXTEND-O-STILTS,
AND WE'LL BE
BACK IN BUSINESS.
I DON'T KNOW, D.W.
MAYBE HONKER
WAS ONTO SOMETHING.
ABOUT DINOSAURS?
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
DO YOU KNOW THE WAY
TO CAMP CANARD?
A LEFT,
TWO RIGHTS, A U-TURN,
AND ANOTHER LEFT.
OH, BOY. THANKS.
DON'T MENTION IT.
LAUNCHPAD...
DID YOU SEE THAT?
YEAH. THAT TRUCK HAD
EXPIRED PLATES.
I KNOW, BUT THAT'S
NOT WHAT I MEANT.
THAT DINOSAUR
JUST GOT DIRECTIONS
FROM THE WRONG
MOTORIST.
[HONK HONK]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
PRIVATE
PARKING SPACE HERE.
IS THISTHE
SUPERMAGNET BUNKER?
YES, SIR.
LET ME GET
THIS STRAIGHT.
THE SUPERMAGNET,
THE REALLY BIG ONE?
YES, SIR.
MUST HAVE
THE WRONG NUMBER.
THERE GOES THAT
PREHISTORIC PILFERER.
[ENGINE SPUTTERS]
[COUGHING]
SORRY, D.W.
FORGOT TO GAS UP.
THESE SKATES
AND MY MAGNET GUN
WILL KEEP ME ON HIM
LIKE A CHEAP SUIT.
WHERE'S THE ON SW-SWITCH?
YIKES!
[CLANG]
WHEW! I ALMOST
BROKE THE LAW.
THIS RADAR
SHOWS STEGMUTT'S
REALLY COOKING,
BUT WHAT'S THIS
OTHER BLIP?
UGH!
AAH!
UGH!
AAH!
OH, THANK GOODNESS
IT'S NOT A THREAT.
UH-UH-UH-UH.
YIKES!
OOH, BOY.
BOY. OOH, BOY.
I'M REALLY
ONTO HIM NOW.
SUPERMAGNET PLUS COMET
EQUALS BAM! BOOM!
YIKES!
SUCK GAS,
EVILDOER.
WITH MY ASTHMA,
ARE YOU KIDDING?
[COUGHING]
WHOA!
I'M BACK!
OOH, BOY.
WE'LL HAVE FUN
BEING DINOSAURS TOGETHER.
NOT!
LISTEN CLOSE,
STEGMUTT.
FOSSIL'S USING
THAT MAGNET
TO WIPE OUT
MANKIND.
HE WOULDN'T DO THAT.
HE'S A SMART MAN.
NOW HE'S
A SCREW-LOOSE
DINOSAUR.
SHOW HIM,
HONK.
THE HYPOTENUSE
OF A SPEEDING COMET
TIMES EARTH SQUARED
DIVIDED BY 2 BILLION
MILES PER MINUTE
EQUALS BAM! BOOM!
YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS?
NO MORE CHOCOLATE-COVERED
SANDWICH COOKIES.
RRrrr!
WE GOT TO STOP
THAT CRAZY DINOSAUR.
HAD ENOUGH, FOSSIL?
DARKWING!
STEGMUTT, WHY
AREN'T THOSE BRATS
TRANSFORMED YET?
UNHAND THOSE CHILDREN,
BONEBREATH.
STEGMUTT'S INNOCENT.
DON'T HURT HIM!
DON'T THINK
I'D HURT THE LITTLE TYKE.
DARKWING!
DARKWING?
I DIDN'T MEAN
TO HURT HIM.
IT WAS
AN ACCIDENT.
AAH! DINOSAUR!
AND A RIDICULOUS ONE
AT THAT.
DARKWING,
IS THAT YOU?
WELL,
OF COURSE IT'S ME.
MY, WHAT BIG FEET
I HAVE.
YIKES!
I'M A DINOSAUR!
HONKER,
HE'S ALIVE!
STEGMUTT,
HE'S ALIVE!
DR. FOSSIL,
HE'S ALIVE!
NOT FOR LONG.
SAY "HI" TO THE COMET
FOR ME.
NOT SO FAST,
FOSSIL.
THERE'S A CRIME FIGHTER
SWIMMING IN MY GENE POOL.
TERRIFIC.
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
OH, NO!
THE SWITCH IS STUCK!
LET ME TRY.
OOPS.
SORRY.
HOW DO WE
GET THE MAGNET?
I'LL LOOK IT UP.
"CHAPTER THREE--
MAGNETISM.
"SEE CHAPTER 14--
ELECTROMAGNETISM.
HURRY!
LOOK! IT'S GODZILLA!
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
AAH!
WAIT, CITIZENS!
IT'S ONLY ME,
DARKWING DUCK. REMEMBER?
IT'S NOT EASY
BEING A DINOSAUR
IN A MAN'S WORLD,
IS IT?
TOUGH BEANS, FOSSIL.
YOU'RE HISTORY.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
HELLO.
EXCUSE ME.
IS THISTHE
DARKWING DINOSAUR?
YES, IT IS.
SORRY. I MUST HAVE
THE WRONG NUMBER.
HA HA HA HA!
YIKES!
PFFT!
YOU'RE AMOEBA,
DARKWING.
WE HAVE TO "ALTER
THE FIELD OF FORCE
PRODUCED BY
ITS ATOMIC ELECTRONS..."
COULD YOU SKIP
THE PRELIMINARIES?
"ACHIEVED BY REALIGNING
THE MAGNETIC FIELD.
I'M GOING TO
MISS YOU GUYS.
HERBERT MUDDLEFOOT JR.,
GET TO THE POINT!
MORE SIMPLY PUT,
WE MOVE THE MAGNET.
OH, BOY.
CAN I TRY?
YES!
WH-WHAT?
N-NO BAM! BOOM?
HEY!
AAH!
[SHIP HORN BLOWS]
WE DID IT!
NOW WE JUST
NEED DR. FOSSIL'S
RETRO-GUN.
HEY!
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
HANDS OFF, STEGMUTT.
THAT'S MINE!
OH, GEE.
WHOAAA!
SHIP AHOY.
NO MORE SELF-RIGHTEOUS
SUPERHEROES.
BOOM!
NO MORE LITTLE
DINOSAUR PUZZLES
WITH MISSING PIECES.
THE WORLD AWAKENS
TO A NEW DAY,
RESCUED IN ITS
OBLIVIOUS SLUMBER
BY THE UNHERALDED
HEROISM
OF MANKIND'S
HUMBLE GUARDIAN,
DARKWING DUCK.
AHEM!
WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM HONKER.
AH-HA-HEM!
AND DINOSAUR FRIEND.
TIME TO TURN MY FRIENDS
BACK TO NORMAL.
HEROES FIRST.
TO MAKE SURE
IT'S SAFE.
OOPS.
SORRY.
UNTIL WE
GET THIS RIGHT, GANG,
PROMISE YOU'LL
KEEP ME AWAY FROM ANY...
TARTAR SAUCE.
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
TAKE A LETTER, MARIA,
TO MR. NUMERO UNO,
CARE OF
ST. CANARD PRISON.
DEAR MR. UNO,
SORRY ABOUT
YOUR CONVICTION
ON TAX EVASION
CHARGES,
BUT YOU NEED TO PAY
FOR YOUR DEFENSE--NOW!
LOVE, ET CETERA,
ET CETERA.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
SHYSTER AND LOOPHOLE,
TAX ATTORNEYS.
COULD THIS BE
THE SHYSTER AND LOOPHOLE?
NOT THE
TAX ATTORNEYS.
YES.
MUST HAVE
THE WRONG NUMBER.
AAH!
I AM THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT,
THE PAPER CUT
THAT RUINS YOUR MORNING.
I'M--
LET ME GUESS--
DAY-CARE DUCK.
I TOLD YOU NEVER
TO FOLLOW ME TO WORK.
THERE WAS NOTHING
ON TV.
JUST IMPRESSIONABLE
ROLLER SKATERS
I RESCUED FROM
A BURNING SIDEWALK.
AHEM.
WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE
SHYSTER AND LOOPHOLE?
THEY WERE DICTATING
MR. UNO'S LETTER.
THE MATH GENIUS
SERVING TWO TO FOUR
FOR EVADING TAXES
ON HIS
5-AND-10-CENT STORES
12 MONTHS AGO?
RUN ALONG AND PLAY,
CHILD WHOM
I'VE NEVER MET BEFORE.
[GASPS]
NUMERO UNO, A CONVICTED
NUMBERS CRIMINAL.
IT ADDS UP TO A
VENGEANCE MOTIVE TO ME.
THERE'S UH--UH...
YES?
SPIT IT OUT!
A HOOF PRINT,
PREHISTORIC,
OVER THERE.
PREHISTORIC?
YOU MEAN DINOSAURS
IN THIS DAY AND AGE?
HEH HEH HEH!
DINOSAURS?
THIS IS OBVIOUSLY
THE WORK
OF FUGITIVE
MARTIAN GEEKS.
CHARMING, AREN'T THEY?
NOW GET ALONG NOW,
CHILDREN.
HEY, WAIT!
AREN'T WE GOING TO NAIL
THOSE ALIEN DIRTBAGS?
I THINK
THAT MEANS NO.
PREHISTORIC FOOTPRINTS--
THIS COULD GET ME
AN "A" ON MY PROJECT.
DARKWING DUCK
GETS ADVENTURE.
WHAT DO I GET?
HOMEWORK.
CAN WE GO HOME YET?
WE HAVEN'T RUN OUT
OF DINOSAUR PRINTS.
DINOSAURS
ARE EXTINCT.
I KNOW.
THEY DON'T EXIST.
I KNOW!
SO, WHAT ARE THEY?
DINOSAUR PRINTS.
THIS IS YOUR WARDEN.
THANK YOU
FOR NOT ESCAPING.
ENJOY YOUR STAY
AT THE ST. CANARD
MINIMUM SECURITY PRISON.
THERE'S NUMERO UNO.
I'LL NAB THAT
NEFARIOUS LAWYER-NAPPER
WITH THE HELP OF
MY NEW ELASTO-SUSPENDERS.
THE SOARING SLEUTH
SKILLFULLY SEVERS
HIS SUSPENDER SNAPS.
OH...
SO SEVER, ALREADY.
COME ON.
UNFASTEN, SNAPS.
UNBUCKLE!
OW!
FORE!
HOW PERFECTLY
LOGICAL.
DINOSAUR PRINTS LEAD TO
A NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM.
SOMETHING TELLS ME
HE'S NOT OUR GUY, HONK.
[CRASH]
WHAT WAS THAT?
MAYBE IT'S
THE LAWYER-NAPPERS.
OH, BOY!
IT CAME
FROM OVER THERE.
NOW WE'RE ON
THE RIGHT TRACK.
NOW WE'RE
ON THE RIGHT TRACK.
UNO'S DAYS
ARE NUMBERED.
I CAN JUST LAND
THETHUNDERQUACK, D.W.
DON'T BOTHER, L.P.
I'M GETTING THESE
TO WORK
IF IT KILLS ME.
BRONZED OR BURNT, UNO.
YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!
OH, DEAR,
I AM STARTING TO BURN.
WHERE'S MY 25 SUNSCREEN?
I'M GONE.
UM, UM, UM...
NO LAWYER-NAPPERS
AROUND HERE.
BOY, PEOPLE LEAVE
THEIR GARBAGE ANYWHERE.
COME ON, HONK.
LET'S RECYCLE.
OH...
AH--AH--
SO MUCH
FOR YOUR LIVE
DINOSAUR THEORY.
AH-CHOO!
HE LOOKS LIKE
A LIVE ONE TO ME.
WHEW!
EXCUSE ME.
AAH!
HEY--
OH, SORRY.
COME BACK!
PARDON ME.
I WON'T HURT YOU!
SORRY. WAIT!
OH--OH, NO,
I'M--
WHOA!
WHEW!
OOPS.
SORRY.
UH, YOU'RE
A STEGOSAURUS,
AREN'T YOU?
THE PLATED LIZARD
FROM THE LATE
JURASSIC PERIOD.
DON'T KNOW.
I WAS A JANITOR.
MONDO! YOU TALK!
YEAH.
MY NAME'S STEGMUTT,
BUT MY FRIEND,
DR. FOSSIL,
CALLS ME,
UH, STEGMUTT.
WELL, UM...
I'M HONKER
MUDDLEFOOT,
STUDENT OF SCIENCE.
GOSALYN MALLARD--
MARTIAN HUNTER, FREELANCE.
WOW! YOU REALLY
HUNT MARTIANS?
YEAH.
DO YOU REALLY
WHACK TYRANNOSAURUSES
WITH THAT TAIL?
THAT? NO. I USE IT
TO OPEN SODAS.
OH, BUMMER.
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
MUSEUM'S CLOSED.
WELL, UM,
I'M RESEARCHING
DINOSAURS
FOR MY SCHOOL
SCIENCE PROJECT.
DID YOU COME
TO THE RIGHT PLACE?
YOU WANT TO SEE
A REAL SCIENCE PROJECT?
UH...
SURE!
I'VE GOT
JUST THE THING
TO KEEP MY FEET
ON THE GROUND.
I'VE GOT
YOUR NUMBER, UNO,
AND IT IS UP!
I--I DO BELIEVE
I FEEL A DRAFT.
[BELL DINGS]
[THUD]
HEY, THIS IS SOME PAD.
UH, DR. FOSSIL?
IT'S ABOUT TIME,
STEGMUTT.
I WAS BORED
WATCHING MY TALONS GROW.
THOSE AREN'T
CIRCUS ELEPHANTS.
CIRCUS ELEPHANTS JUGGLE
AND WEAR FUNNY HATS.
I KNOW,
DR. FOSSIL.
THESE ARE
MY NEW FRIENDS.
I DIDN'T ASK
FOR NEW FRIENDS.
I ASKED FOR
CIRCUS ELEPHANTS!
CAN I SHOW THEM
YOUR SECRET INVENTION?
I DON'T SEE
ANY SECRET INVENTION.
OH, GOOD.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
STEGMUTT,
SECRETS ARE THINGS
NOBODY ELSE KNOWS ABOUT.
THIS IS DR. FOSSIL'S
RETRO-EVOLUTION GUN.
NAH, NO SECRETS HERE.
PARDONMOI,
RETRO-WHAT-O?
CAN I EXPLAIN,
DR. FOSSIL, CAN I?
NO!
IT'S GREAT
FOR REHEATING LEFTOVERS,
AND IT TURNS PEOPLE
INTO DINOSAURS.
AAH!
I'LL SHOW YOU.
OOPS.
SORRY, DR. FOSSIL.
STEGMUTT BREAKS
A LOT OF HANDLES.
I USE MITTS TO HOLD
MY COCOA MUG.
DON'T WORRY,
DR. FOSSIL.
I'LL OPEN IT.
IF HIS STRENGTH
WEREN'T SO HANDY,
I'D RETRO-EVOLVE HIM
TO AMOEBA.
MY, UP UNTIL
TWO MINUTES AGO,
SECRET COLLECTION.
NIFTY, HUH?
WE'VE GOT
ICE SHOW PENGUINS,
ROCK MUSICIANS,
TAX ATTORNEYS.
SHYSTER AND LOOPHOLE!
THEY'RE
MY FRIENDS, TOO.
WHAT'S THE POINT?
THE POINT, KIDDO,
IS THAT I BELIEVE DINOSAURS
BECAME EXTINCT
WHEN A COMET--BAM! BOOM!
WHACKED OUR PLANET.
THE POINT IS THE
FAMOUS CLEANSER'S COMET
IS DUE TO PASS
ABOVE US TONIGHT.
THE POINT--
HAVE YOU LEFT
THE BATHROOM LIGHT
ON AGAIN?
NOPE.
WELL, MAKE SURE.
HE'S IN THE DARK
ON CERTAIN DETAILS.
HE UPSETS EASILY.
THE POINT IS
TONIGHT,
WITH THE HELP OF THE
LARGEST SUPERMAGNET,
THAT COMET'S GOING
TO GIVE DINOSAURS
A SECOND CHANCE!
Y-YOU MEAN
BAM! BOOM?
YOU GOT IT, SHORTY.
DINOSAURS WILL
TROMP THROUGH
THE TULIPS AGAIN!
OK,
YOU LIKE DINOSAURS.
WHY WIPE OUT MANKIND?
IT'S HARD
BEING A DINOSAUR
IN A MAN'S WORLD.
THE STARES,
THE RESENTMENT.
PEOPLE RUNNING
IN THE STREETS
SCREAMING,
"LOOK, LOOK.
IT'S GODZILLA!"
WOULDN'T
IT BE EASIER
TO CHANGE BACK
INTO A MAN?
A WISENHEIMER, HUH?
YOU THINK I'M FUNNY,
HERE TO AMUSE YOU?
APPARENTLY,
THE WORLD DOES, TOO.
T-SHIRTS, BATH TOYS,
COMIC BOOKS,
CHOCOLATE-COVERED
SANDWICH COOKIES!
WE DINOSAURS DON'T
GET ANY RESPECT!
WHERE'S MY SODA?
NEVER MIND THAT.
I WAS EXPECTING
CIRCUS ELEPHANTS,
BUT A COUPLE
OF SMART KIDS
WILL DO JUST AS WELL.
WELL, SAY...
[ALARM RINGS]
WELL, 6:00.
TIME TO STEAL THE
LARGEST SUPERMAGNET!
BAM!
BOOM!
I STILL SAY
UNO'S OUR MAN.
LET'S GRAB MY X-RAY GOGGLES
AND EXTEND-O-STILTS,
AND WE'LL BE
BACK IN BUSINESS.
I DON'T KNOW, D.W.
MAYBE HONKER
WAS ONTO SOMETHING.
ABOUT DINOSAURS?
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
DO YOU KNOW THE WAY
TO CAMP CANARD?
A LEFT,
TWO RIGHTS, A U-TURN,
AND ANOTHER LEFT.
OH, BOY. THANKS.
DON'T MENTION IT.
LAUNCHPAD...
DID YOU SEE THAT?
YEAH. THAT TRUCK HAD
EXPIRED PLATES.
I KNOW, BUT THAT'S
NOT WHAT I MEANT.
THAT DINOSAUR
JUST GOT DIRECTIONS
FROM THE WRONG
MOTORIST.
[HONK HONK]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
PRIVATE
PARKING SPACE HERE.
IS THISTHE
SUPERMAGNET BUNKER?
YES, SIR.
LET ME GET
THIS STRAIGHT.
THE SUPERMAGNET,
THE REALLY BIG ONE?
YES, SIR.
MUST HAVE
THE WRONG NUMBER.
THERE GOES THAT
PREHISTORIC PILFERER.
[ENGINE SPUTTERS]
[COUGHING]
SORRY, D.W.
FORGOT TO GAS UP.
THESE SKATES
AND MY MAGNET GUN
WILL KEEP ME ON HIM
LIKE A CHEAP SUIT.
WHERE'S THE ON SW-SWITCH?
YIKES!
[CLANG]
WHEW! I ALMOST
BROKE THE LAW.
THIS RADAR
SHOWS STEGMUTT'S
REALLY COOKING,
BUT WHAT'S THIS
OTHER BLIP?
UGH!
AAH!
UGH!
AAH!
OH, THANK GOODNESS
IT'S NOT A THREAT.
UH-UH-UH-UH.
YIKES!
OOH, BOY.
BOY. OOH, BOY.
I'M REALLY
ONTO HIM NOW.
SUPERMAGNET PLUS COMET
EQUALS BAM! BOOM!
YIKES!
SUCK GAS,
EVILDOER.
WITH MY ASTHMA,
ARE YOU KIDDING?
[COUGHING]
WHOA!
I'M BACK!
OOH, BOY.
WE'LL HAVE FUN
BEING DINOSAURS TOGETHER.
NOT!
LISTEN CLOSE,
STEGMUTT.
FOSSIL'S USING
THAT MAGNET
TO WIPE OUT
MANKIND.
HE WOULDN'T DO THAT.
HE'S A SMART MAN.
NOW HE'S
A SCREW-LOOSE
DINOSAUR.
SHOW HIM,
HONK.
THE HYPOTENUSE
OF A SPEEDING COMET
TIMES EARTH SQUARED
DIVIDED BY 2 BILLION
MILES PER MINUTE
EQUALS BAM! BOOM!
YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS?
NO MORE CHOCOLATE-COVERED
SANDWICH COOKIES.
RRrrr!
WE GOT TO STOP
THAT CRAZY DINOSAUR.
HAD ENOUGH, FOSSIL?
DARKWING!
STEGMUTT, WHY
AREN'T THOSE BRATS
TRANSFORMED YET?
UNHAND THOSE CHILDREN,
BONEBREATH.
STEGMUTT'S INNOCENT.
DON'T HURT HIM!
DON'T THINK
I'D HURT THE LITTLE TYKE.
DARKWING!
DARKWING?
I DIDN'T MEAN
TO HURT HIM.
IT WAS
AN ACCIDENT.
AAH! DINOSAUR!
AND A RIDICULOUS ONE
AT THAT.
DARKWING,
IS THAT YOU?
WELL,
OF COURSE IT'S ME.
MY, WHAT BIG FEET
I HAVE.
YIKES!
I'M A DINOSAUR!
HONKER,
HE'S ALIVE!
STEGMUTT,
HE'S ALIVE!
DR. FOSSIL,
HE'S ALIVE!
NOT FOR LONG.
SAY "HI" TO THE COMET
FOR ME.
NOT SO FAST,
FOSSIL.
THERE'S A CRIME FIGHTER
SWIMMING IN MY GENE POOL.
TERRIFIC.
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
OH, NO!
THE SWITCH IS STUCK!
LET ME TRY.
OOPS.
SORRY.
HOW DO WE
GET THE MAGNET?
I'LL LOOK IT UP.
"CHAPTER THREE--
MAGNETISM.
"SEE CHAPTER 14--
ELECTROMAGNETISM.
HURRY!
LOOK! IT'S GODZILLA!
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
AAH!
WAIT, CITIZENS!
IT'S ONLY ME,
DARKWING DUCK. REMEMBER?
IT'S NOT EASY
BEING A DINOSAUR
IN A MAN'S WORLD,
IS IT?
TOUGH BEANS, FOSSIL.
YOU'RE HISTORY.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
HELLO.
EXCUSE ME.
IS THISTHE
DARKWING DINOSAUR?
YES, IT IS.
SORRY. I MUST HAVE
THE WRONG NUMBER.
HA HA HA HA!
YIKES!
PFFT!
YOU'RE AMOEBA,
DARKWING.
WE HAVE TO "ALTER
THE FIELD OF FORCE
PRODUCED BY
ITS ATOMIC ELECTRONS..."
COULD YOU SKIP
THE PRELIMINARIES?
"ACHIEVED BY REALIGNING
THE MAGNETIC FIELD.
I'M GOING TO
MISS YOU GUYS.
HERBERT MUDDLEFOOT JR.,
GET TO THE POINT!
MORE SIMPLY PUT,
WE MOVE THE MAGNET.
OH, BOY.
CAN I TRY?
YES!
WH-WHAT?
N-NO BAM! BOOM?
HEY!
AAH!
[SHIP HORN BLOWS]
WE DID IT!
NOW WE JUST
NEED DR. FOSSIL'S
RETRO-GUN.
HEY!
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
HANDS OFF, STEGMUTT.
THAT'S MINE!
OH, GEE.
WHOAAA!
SHIP AHOY.
NO MORE SELF-RIGHTEOUS
SUPERHEROES.
BOOM!
NO MORE LITTLE
DINOSAUR PUZZLES
WITH MISSING PIECES.
THE WORLD AWAKENS
TO A NEW DAY,
RESCUED IN ITS
OBLIVIOUS SLUMBER
BY THE UNHERALDED
HEROISM
OF MANKIND'S
HUMBLE GUARDIAN,
DARKWING DUCK.
AHEM!
WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM HONKER.
AH-HA-HEM!
AND DINOSAUR FRIEND.
TIME TO TURN MY FRIENDS
BACK TO NORMAL.
HEROES FIRST.
TO MAKE SURE
IT'S SAFE.
OOPS.
SORRY.
UNTIL WE
GET THIS RIGHT, GANG,
PROMISE YOU'LL
KEEP ME AWAY FROM ANY...
TARTAR SAUCE.