Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 1, Episode 23 - Aduckyphobia - full transcript

♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪

♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪

♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪

♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪

♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪

♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪

3, 2, 1!

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LET'S GET DANGEROUS.



♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!

♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪

♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪

♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪

♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪

♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪

♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪

♪ HERE COMES ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LOOK OUT!

♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LET'S GET DANGEROUS!



♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪

[RUFF RUFF]

OH, YOO-HOO!

PROFESSOR MOLIARTY,
WE'RE IN THE LAB.

NO THANKS TO YOU,
CLUMSY OAF.

OOH, WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE
FOR A DECENT LACKEY.

AHA!

THERE IT IS, BOYS,

CANARDIUM,

THE ONE
RADIOACTIVE ISOTOPE
POWERFUL ENOUGH

TO FUEL MY LATEST
INGENIOUS DEVICE.

BUT WHY
DO WE GOT TO WEAR

THESE SWEATY SUITS?

THIS RADIATION
IS EVER SO POWERFUL,
YOU NITWIT.

IT'LL KILL YOU
TILL YOU'RE DEAD...
OR WORSE.

NOW, COME ON!

SOON THE SURFACE DWELLERS
WILL FEAR THE MIGHT

OF PROFESSOR MOLIARTY,

AND THE WORLD WILL BE
MY OYSTER.

OYSTERS ARE
OUT OF SEASON.

SO MAYBE YOU
BETTER CLAM UP.

OH, IT'S THAT
INTERFERING DUCK.
GET HIM!

AAH!

OH, AT LAST.

THAT INFERNAL DUCK
ALWAYS HAS TO SPOIL MY FUN.

LOOK HOW BIG
I GOT.

OH, MOTHER!

THE FAN CLUB'S
GOING TO LOVE THIS.

RADIATION!

SPIDER! MUTANT!

BIG, BIG, BIG,
BIG, BIG!

SURE, SURE.

WHAT'S ALL
THE SCREAMING ABOUT?

AAH!

RELAX, L.P.

IT'S ONLY A RADIOACTIVE
MUTANT SPIDER.

OK, BUGILY,
EN GARDE!

EN WHAT?

[IMITATING
BRUCE LEE]

BE CAREFUL.

YOU MIGHT HURT SOMEBODY.

HYAH!

HYAH!

HY--OUCH!

ARE YOU OK, D.W.?

SURE. IT'S JUST
A LITTLE SPIDER BITE.

GEE, I'M REAL SORRY,
MISTER.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GOING TO HURT ME.

HOW ABOUT SHAKING HANDS
AND PLAYING NICE?

I'M THROUGH PLAYING,
YOU AGGRAVATING
ARACHNID.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU--
THAT'S DISGUSTING!

WHAT'S THIS?

THIS IS AS STRONG
AS STEEL.

HMM. WEBBING STRONG
AS STEEL, EH?

PERHAPS
I CAN USE THIS SPIDER.

BUT CAN I TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF SOMEONE SO CHILDLIKE,

SO INNOCENT,

SO PERFECT?

MY BOY, HOW WOULD YOU
LIKE A JOB?

HMM. DO I GET
A COOKIE?

WE CAN ALL
GET OUR COOKIES
ON THIS ONE.

IT'S A TEENY BITE.

WE DIDN'T HAVE TO
COME WAY BACK HERE.

BETTER SAFE
THAN SORRY.

IF YOU CAN'T BUILD
A ROCKET LAUNCHER,

DO YOU KNOW ABOUT
THERMAL EXPLOSIVES?

WHAT DID YOU
TRY TO FIX THIS TIME?

I WAS BIT BY
A MUTANT SPIDER.

COOL.

BUT I HATE
WHEN THE BAD GUY
ESCAPES.

I HATE IT!

BUT, DAD! YOU--

I KNOW
YOU'RE THINKING,

"HOW COULD
ANYONE ESCAPE

FROM THE DEXTEROUS
DARKWING DUCK?"

WELL,
ON THE ONE HAND,

PROFESSOR MOLIARTY
HAS VERY DANGEROUS
STUFF--

CANARDIUM.

ON THE OTHER HAND,
THAT MALEVOLENT MOLE

FILLED IN HIS TUNNEL
BEHIND HIM.

ON THE OTHER HAND,
WE DON'T KNOW--

OTHER HAND?

AHEM.

YEOW!

LET ME GET THIS
STRAIGHT.

YOU GOT BIT BY
A RADIOACTIVE SPIDER

AND DIDN'T USE
DISINFECTANT?

YOU'D HAVE ME
IN THE EMERGENCY WARD

FASTER THAN
YOU COULD SAY RABIES.

I'M THE DAD.
I LECTURE.

D.W., BEFORE HONKER
FINDS A CURE,

COULD YOU GIVE ME
A HAND

OR MAYBE TWO
OR THREE?

I ATTEMPT
TO THROW THIS ONE--

WILL YOU STOP IT?

NOT YOU.

THESE!

UM, MR. MALLARD,
I THINK I FOUND
SOMETHING.

WHAT? WHAT?

WELL, I, UM,
THAT IS, UM...

I'M GETTING OLD!

YOU NEED
ANOTHER SPIDER'S VENOM

TO MAKE THE ANTIDOTE.

GRAB A SPIDER
AND GET TO WORK.

WE CAN'T GRAB
ANY SPIDER.

WE NEED THE KIND
THAT BIT YOU.

HOW HARD IS THAT?

WHOA!

LET ME GO.

UH-OH.

TROUBLE
AT THE MALL.

MY TRUSTY SIDEKICK
WILL HELP YOU
IDENTIFY THE SPIDER

WHILE I HASTEN
TO THE MALL.

ARE YOU CRAZY?

YOU'VE GOT TO
RETURN TO NORMAL.

SORRY, BUT CRIME WAITS
FOR NO DUCK, GOSALYN.

LET GO!

UH-OH.

P-P-PROFESSOR...

PROFESSOR?

ARE YOU SURE TAKING
ALL THESE FAN BLADES

IS NICE?

IT DON'T SEEM
SO NICE.

OF COURSE IT'S NICE,
MY DEAR.

NOW, HURRY UP.

ALL THIS NICENESS
IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.

IF I DIDN'T NEED
THIS PEST
FOR MY PLAN,

WELL, I WOULDN'T--

HUH?

WHEN WE FINISH,
CAN WE HAVE
CHOCOLATE CAKE?

US, TOO, BOSS?

NOW, LISTEN HERE,
YOU FUZZY--

COME ON, PROFESSOR,
LET THEM EAT CAKE.

FAN BLADES, EH?

IT'LL BE CHILLY ENOUGH
WHERE YOU'RE GOING--

THE COOLER.

WHOOPS!

I'LL NEVER GET USED TO
SURFACE WORLD LIGHT.

I THOUGHT
I SAW SIX ARMS.

WHOA!

CALL THE POLICE.

HE DOES HAVE
SIX ARMS.

I'VE GOT
A FEW EXTRA ARMS.
SUE ME.

THIS ANOTHER
LAME DUCK TRICK.

NOW, GET HIM!

HYAH!
PREPARE TO BE PUMMELED.

LET ME GO!

HEY!

ADIOS, DARKWING DODO.

AGAINST A MOLE
WITH AN ATTITUDE

AND A SPIDER
WITH AN APPETITE.

DARKWING DUCK,
MULTITALENTED
AND MULTIARMED

MASTER OF MYSTERY,
SEEKS A HOLE

IN HIS
ENEMY'S ARMOR,

AND HE FINDS IT--

THE HOLE, THAT IS.

ONWARD AND DOWNWARD.

OOPSIE!

[CRASH]

AHA!

DARKWING DWEEB.

MY, AREN'T WE
THE LUCKY DUCKY?

ENOUGH, YOU
FELONIOUS FIEND.

COME ON, GUYS.

I THOUGHT WE WERE
GOING TO COOPERATE.

HERE, LET ME
UNTANGLE YOU.

YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO HURT HIM?

OF COURSE I'M GOING TO...
NOT HURT HIM.

NOW, YOU RUN ALONG

WHILE I SHOW
OUR FEATHERED FRIEND
THE WAY OUT.

AAH!

OOH! OOH! OOH!

I LIKE DARK AS WELL
AS THE NEXT DUCK,

BUT THIS IS GOING TOO FAR.

YIKE.

THAT SHOULD TEACH HIM

TO MESS
WITH PROFESSOR MOLIARTY.

THAT'S
FOR SURE.

[ACCORDION SOUND]

THAT DOES IT.
NO ARMS OF MINE

WILL MAKE
A MONKEY OUT OF ME.

VERY FUNNY.

[ACCORDION SOUND]

I HOPE THAT GUY
WAS RIGHT

ABOUT THERE BEING
SPIDERS HERE.

ME, TOO.

AAH!

LOOK.

EEK!

A GIANT SPIDER.

I PROMISE NEVER TO STEP
ON A SPIDER AGAIN.

EEW. A SPIDER.
SQUISH IT.

IT LOOKS
LIKE THE SPIDER
THAT BIT D.W.--

EXACTLY LIKE IT.

GET HIM!

THE MALIGNANT MARK
OF THE MOLE MENACE

LIES LIKE A SHADOW.

ONLY ONE SUPERHERO
CAN STOP HIM.

ONLY ONE CRIME FIGHTER IS...

HANDY ENOUGH.

WHO'S THIS CHAMPION
OF JUSTICE?

NO, NOT DARKWING DUCK.

HE'S...ARACHNODUCK!

YOU HEARD RIGHT--
ARACHNO-DUCK.

NUMBER FIVE,
HELMET!

NUMBER SIX,
GEAR SHIFT.

NUMBER SIX?

NUMBER SIX, IT APPEARS
WE'RE CLOSING IN

ON THAT RADIOACTIVE
RABBLE-ROUSER.

AAH!

WHOA!

AAH!

HMM. A GIANT WEB.

THIS COULD BE A CLUE.

AHA! A PLETHORA OF PLANES

WITH THEIR PROPELLERS
PURLOINED.

FIRST CANARDIUM,
THEN FAN BLADES,

AND NOW PROPELLERS.

YES, NUMBER SIX?

UH-OH.

WHAT ARE YOU--

NUMBER SIX, LET GO OF IT.

WHAT?

EEW!

NOW WHAT, WEBBING?

JUST WHAT I NEED.

AAH!

THIS IS--

AHA!

I DON'T NEED THIS
TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.

I AM ARACHNODUCK!

[COUGHING AND SPITTING]

RATS.

LET ME GET OUT--
OOH.

I'M SURE THERE'S
A FASCINATING EXPLANATION,

BUT WE'VE GOT
A PLANE TO CATCH.

IN FACT, WE'VE GOT
SEVERAL PLANES TO CATCH.

OH, AT LAST,
MY WINDOW-MATIC IS COMPLETE.

THE CANARDIUM GENERATOR

WILL POWER
THE BLADES AND PROPELLERS,

CREATING A WIND SO POWERFUL

IT WILL WIPE
EVERY SURFACE DWELLER

OFF THE EARTH.

ONLY THOSE
WHO LIVE UNDERGROUND

WILL SURVIVE.

WANT TO TEACH ME
HOW TO FLY A KITE?

LEAVE ME ALONE,
YOU BRAINLESS,
INFANTILE--

HAVE A LOLLY.
WE'LL PLAY LATER.

I WANT TO PLAY NOW.

THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S ME--ARACHNODUCK,

READY TO MAKE
YOUR SKIN CRAWL.

OH, CURSES!

OK, BUB.
EIGHT WEB.

OK, FINE. I SEE.
OUT OF WEBBING.

A MINOR SETBACK.

IF IT'S WEBBING YOU WANT,
MAYBEWE CAN HELP YOU.

YO! YO!

THIS IS DISGUSTING.

CONGRATULATIONS,
DUCKY-WUCKY.

YOU'RE ABOUT
TO BE THE FIRST
SURFACE DWELLER

OBLITERATED
BY MY DIABOLICAL
INVENTION.

BEHOLD! MOLIARTY'S
AMAZING WINDOW-MATIC!

NICE SPECIAL EFFECTS,
MOLIARTY,

BUT YOU'LL NEVER
GET AWAY WITH IT.

SORRY, ARACHNO-YUCK.

I'VE ALREADY GOTTEN
AWAY WITH IT.

ADIEU.

YEOW!

NOW, HOLD TIGHT.

BUT ISN'T THIS
DANGEROUS?

BUT, WEBBY-POO,
YOU'RE THE ONE

WHO WANTED
TO FLY A KITE.

ACCORDING
TO THIS HOLDING THINGY,

THE RAT CATCHER'S
REAL CLOSE.

GOSALYN.

DAD!

WELL, IT SEEMS
TO BE GETTING

A TAD GUSTY UP HERE.

WHOA!
WHOA!
WHOA!

HEY, DUCKY!

LOOKS LIKE
THE CAVALRY'S HERE.

HEY, D.W.,
NICE OUTFIT.

DON'T WORRY!
WE FOUND A SPIDER!

OOPSIE.

GRAB IT!

WHOA! OH, YEAH.

WHOA!

WAVE BYE-BYE

TO YOUR CHEERING
SECTION, DUCKY!

I HOPE
YOU'VE GOT PLENTY
OF FLIGHT INSURANCE.

I AM SO GOOD.

I DO BELIEVE I'M
GOING TO ENJOY THIS.

WAIT. YOU MIGHT HURT HIM.

WRONG, YOU BIG PEST.
I WILL HURT HIM.

ARRIVEDERCI, DUCKY!

YEOW!

OOP!

HA! SAVED IN THE NICK
OF TIME.

THAT WON'T HELP,
NUMBER SIX.

IT'S OUT OF GAS!

SMOOTH MOVE, NUMBER SIX.

YEOW!

[CRASH]

ALL RIGHT, MOLIARTY.

CONSIDER YOURSELF THWARTED.

WAY TO GO, D.W.

YOU SAVED THE WORLD AGAIN.

HOO HOO HOO!

BUT NOT ALL OF IT.

HE JUST SIGNED
THIS CITY'S
DEATH WARRANT.

I LOVE IT.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

THE REAL CUTOFF LEVER
IS INSIDE THE GENERATOR.

ALL YOU'VE DONE
IS DISCONNECT

THE OUTPUT LINES,

WHICH, I MIGHT ADD,
IS CAUSING EVERYTHING
TO OVERLOAD.

AND THAT MEANS ANY
SECOND NOW, KABLOOEY!

NOT IF ARACHNODUCK
CAN HELP IT.

HYAH!

SORRY, BUT YOU
CAN'T GO IN THERE,
MR. DUCK.

ARE YOU CRAZY?
WE'LL BE KILLED.

GOOD GOING,
MY BOY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
YOU NINCOMPOOP?

YOU CAN'T GO IN.
THERE'S DANGEROUS
RADIOACTORS INSIDE.

RADIO ACTORS?

I THINK HE MEANS
RADIOACTIVITY.

SINCE I HELPED
CAUSE ALL THIS TROUBLE,

I'M THE ONE
WHO'S GOT TO STOP IT.

AFTER ALL, IT'S
THE NICE THING TO DO.

BYE.

AAH.
AHH.
AAH.

YOU DID IT.

[HICCUP]

[HICCUP]

[HICCUP]

[HICCUP]

THE LITTLE GUY'S
BACK TO BEING
EVEN LITTLER.

OOH, THIS IS WHAT I GET
FOR TRUSTING A SPIDER.

OH, WHAT A TANGLED WEB
WE WEAVE,

WHEN FIRST WE PRACTICE
TO DECEIVE.

TOO BAD
YOU CAN'T KEEP IT.

I COULD HAVE REALLY
SCARED THE PANTS
OFF MRS. WEISSMAN.

OH, WELL, I GUESS
WE BETTER GIVE DAD
THE ANTIDOTE.

CAN'T WE WAIT
ONE MORE DAY?

THOSE ARMS
TURNED OUT
TO BE...HANDY

A FINE PASTIME
FOR A CRIME FIGHTER.

EXPLOITED
BY MY OWN FAMILY.

NUMBER SIX!