Dark Angel (2000–2002): Season 2, Episode 5 - Boo - full transcript

- So what's the deal on this hit man?
- He's an independent contractor.

Rumor is he got
into town last night.

This the same guy they brought in
to do the Rivera hit last year?

Yeah. It's...
Sorry.

Hey, Max. Didn't hear you come in.
- How's it going?

- Hey.
- Just came by to cadge some coffee.

Ah, sorry. The market's been out
for a week, which is ironic,

considering Seattle was the coffee capital
of North America back in the day.

Sounds like you guys got a situation.
Who the bad guys looking to whack this time?

Not sure yet. But you can bet
it's one of the good guys.

- What do you need me to do?
- Ah, don't worry about it. We got it covered.



Oh.

Me and the S1W are gonna do some recon -
narrow the list of potential targets.

Yeah, I didn't want you to worry about it.
I know you got your plate full these days.

Yeah. Well, good luck.
I gotta jet.

What are you doing later on?
There's a party at Crash. It's Halloween.

Ah... you know, we'll probably
be working on this all night.

Okay.
Later.

- So Blondie was there at eight A.M.
- Gotta get up pretty early to save the world.

Mm-hmm.

Don't even go there. You should see them
together. They're both so into their hero stuff.

Hot run.

Hello?
People?

HELLO?

Great.
I'm talking to myself.



237 Magnolia. Take off that getup.
You look like a weirdo.

For your information,
I am the shape of things to come.

Demons, mutants, monsters,
creatures out of this world walking among us.

Says so right here.

- What is this folderol?
- It's alternative press following up on

the Eyes Only story about
the escapees from Manticore.

Everything that the government
doesn't want you to know.

You have an ass where your head
should be. Now bip bip bip.

- It's three o'clock, man.
- Yeah, that's the time.

D'you wanna give me the weather?

It's Halloween.
The whole town's shuttin' down early.

Just another business day
as far as I'm concerned.

I'm not hearin' that.
Why you gotta be so salty?

You can whine all you like
in that illiterate dialect of yours,

but we're not closing early!
Capisce?

Normal, when it comes to a test of wills,
you're gonna win, hands down.

- 'Cause you the man.
- But at what price?

I mean, you're gonna lose half a day tomorrow easy,
just getting the toilet paper off the building.

All right, last run today
will be at four o'clock.

But I want all of you
in here extra early tomorrow.

Losers.

- Max.
- Hey.

- How's it going?
- Oh, you know. Just another day in a broken world.

Yeah. There's a party going on tonight at Crash.
I was wondering if you were gonna go.

Thinkin' on it.

- So maybe I'll catch you there.
- Maybe.

- What'd old boy want?
- To hang out.

- And you said...?
- Maybe.

"Maybe"?
That is a sign of mental health.

Hey, I ever tell you ladies the one about
the priest, the minister, and the rabbi?

- Ooh. Every day, Murray, every day.
- Heh, heh. Good one.

- So what are you gonna go as tonight?
- Either Snow-Ho and the Seven Little Pimps, or Rick James.

I'm thinkin' Superfreak, but it depends
on how much curl activator I can get.

Can we go by Joshua's?
I got some groceries I gotta drop off.

Let's say hey to doggie-dog.

They designed her to be the perfect soldier -
a human weapon.

Then she escaped.

In a future not far from now,

in a broken world,
she is haunted by her past.

She cannot run;
she must fight

to discover her destiny.

Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa!

Trick or treat.
Did I scare you?

Why they call it Halloween, boo.

So, you got candy? 'Cause me
and my crew here got a carton of eggs.

- Here's five bucks. Beat it.
- Cool costume, mister.

You all right?

Whoo. I used to live
in a crib kinda like this,

with a Dominican sister
named Veronica. Ay, mami.

Joshua, we can't stay too long.
We're going out tonight.

Halloween.

"Cool costume, mister."
- Huh?

Max and Joshua.
Outside with up-there people.

- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.

- Do you wanna end up in a cage?
- Lived in cage. Down-there cage. Basement.

No, I mean a real cage, like an animal
in the zoo. And that's if they don't just kill you.

Tonight up-here people look like Joshua.

Tonight... safe.

Man's got a point. Halloween's
the one night when he can get his swerve on.

Get my swerve on.
Tricks and treats.

Come on. What's the worst thing
that could happen?

I know you think
you're trying to help. Don't.

You gotta promise me you won't go out.
You have to lay low.

Trust me.
I'm looking out for you.

Okay.

Lay low.

Read Father's books.

Little Women... woo-hoo.

Good.

I brought you some of those
snack cakes you like.

I been thinking about a nice,
hot bath all day.

And I been thinking about poor Joshua,

all alone in his crib while the rest
of the world is out having a par-tay.

What am I supposed to do?
Let him tag along with me tonight?

"Hey, gang, say hi to Joshua,
my transgenic mutant friend."

You saw for yourself.
Everyone's just gonna think it's a costume.

He's better off where he is. No one can ask
him any questions or make any judgments.

Judgments about who...
him or you?

Look, all I wanna be
is a nice, normal girl...

... and have a nice, normal Halloween.
- Whatever "normal" means.

- Wake up, boo.
- I'm awake.

Your boy is here.

- My boy?
- Your date. Rafer.

Oh.

- Hey.
- Hey.

No costume?
- I don't really do Halloween. What about you?

I'm a, uh, genetically-engineered killing
machine escaped from a government lab.

What,
you don't read the tabloids?

Um... weren't we supposed
to meet at Crash?

Yeah. Um...
this is kind of embarrassing, but...

would you mind coming by
my mom's place with me?

- Your mom?
- She really wants to meet you.

Is that a problem?
- No. Not at all.

Rafer.
And this must be Max.

- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, he's told me so much about you,

and I said I must meet
this special girl.

- Oh, I'm not so special.
- Oh, come. Let me tell your fortune.

I don't know.
Um...

I can really see
the family resemblance.

Max is not your name.

You two have the same nose.

- Your name is...
- Guevara. Max Guevara.

- No.
- Says so right here on my sector pass.

You have no name.
Only a number.

I see secrets... dark secrets...
wrapped in mystery...

shrouded in illusion...
You are not what you seem!

Guess you busted me
on my push-up bra.

You are running from something.
Running from your past.

- I was gawky in high school.
- But no matter where you run, there is danger.

I see danger all around.

And then I see...

I see...

... nothing.

Except... a face!

Whose face?
Is it a guy?

A girl, then.
With blond hair, right?

It is neither man nor woman.

It is the face of...

... death!

Mom, you okay?
Let's get you some water, okay?

Great first impression.

- I thought I told you to stay home.
- Max and Joshua outside.

You just don't see
fabric like this anymore.

My mom's all right. Sometimes she gets
a little carried away, but she really likes you.

That's great.

- Rafer... my son...
- Be right back.

- Max and Joshua gotta blaze.
- Go home.

Pretty whack.

If I go out there for one minute,
will you go away?

- Lay low 'til you say so.
- Okay.

- How'd you find me?
- Original Cindy said: "She's with hot boy."

What was so damn
important it couldn't wait?

- Sally.
- Sally? Sally who?

Sally.

Is he dead?

Do I look like I'm dead?
Do I sound like I'm dead?

Criminy, I thought you said
she was an X5.

- X5.
- What happened?

All you need to know, dollface,
is I had an accident.

Being a Manticore alum myself, I can't exactly
beat feet to the emergency room, now, can I?

- You're a nomlie.
- An anomaly? Hell, no.

I'm exactly what they wanted.
Designed with cartilage instead of bone.

Good news is I don't fracture
on the battlefield. Bad news...

I get bent out of shape sometimes.

I guess.

Well, don't just stand there gawking like
a couple of chuckleheads. Do something.

Uh... I'll immobilze his
upper body while you...

rotate his head back into position.

I'll move his shoulders this way;
you move his head the other way.

Put your back into it, dog-breath.
I haven't got all night.

On three.

One... two...
three.

Now you've done it.

This can't be happening.

What's the matter-you never seen a soldier
whose parts are self-sustaining and regenerative?

Starfish.
Starfish in his cocktail.

I can take a direct mortar hit
and shake it off.

Incoming!

What the hell are you doing?
Get your ass back here!

What do you want me to do?
Body's got a mind of its own.

Rover doesn't have a prayer.
I run like the wind, baby.

Body's gone.
Very fast.

- Like I said.
- Yeah, well, we gotta do something, and fast.

I have enough problems without
a headless transgenic on the loose!

Max!

- Where'd you disappear to?
- Rafer. Say hi to my friend Joshua.

- Tricks and treats.
- Hey. Cool costume.

Rafer, I - I was wondering - maybe we could
borrow your car? Run an errand?

- Sure. Yeah. I guess.
- Cool. Meet you out front.

We're gonna need reinforcements.
We're gonna have to call some people.

Who?

Coupla transgenic colleagues
of ours happen to be in town.

- Sure that's a good idea?
- Just get me to a phone.

- Hey. We set to go?
- In a sec.

They just...

I mean... he just...
needed to make a phone call.

Joshua... needed
to make a phone call.

So... you're a paramedic.
- Yeah. Right.

Cool.

You probably see some really
gruesome stuff out there, right?

- Yeah, sometimes.
- Torn-off limbs...

... guts hanging out...
decapitations.

- Not a lot of those, thank God.
- But you'd know what to do, right? I mean...

if someone's head was off and...
needed to be put back on...

... you could handle it.

Once, uh, someone's head comes off,
it pretty much stays off.

Right.

It's ringing.

Okay, Lassie, you align
the receiver to my ear...

... so I can communicate verbally with the person
who's going to answer on the other end.

Other way, moron.

Hello?

- Hey, baby, it's me.
- Me who?

Come on, don't be like that.
Sally.

Oh, you mean Sally, who stood me up
for the third time straight last night?

I'm not talking to him.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I will make it up to you later, kitten.
Right now I'm in a situation, extreme in nature.

Get my drift?
- Let me guess.

The business part of you's run off again.
- Matter of fact, yes.

But I still got mad skills, sugar.

Don't even try
and get on my good side.

Fun and games aside,
I gotta get the rest of me back, pronto.

Hook me up with your lizard buddy.
We gotta strategize.

Hold on.

Speak.

Sally's on the line.
His body's gone AWOL again,

and we're putting together a search party.

Sorry.

Me and Chad are going to a Halloween party.
- Chad? Who the hell is Chad?

My life partner.
And watch your language.

We've been out of Manticore for three months
and you've already got a life partner?

You never know when
love will find you.

Chad's been working on his costume
all week. I can't let him down.

You listen to me, frog-boy.
I'm in a major situation and I need backup.

You tell your life partner
you've made other plans,

and you get your slimy butt
in gear. Capisce?

Gotta blaze.

- So where we going?
- To meet some friends.

Am I going the right way here?

Good thing I'm without my stomach currently.
I'd be losing it right about now.

- Quiet!
- Huh?

Quiet... the ambulance sure is
quiet without the sirens going.

So Joshua, um... you're, what,
a Wookiee? A Planet of the Apes guy?

- Uh-uh. Special. First.
- First what?

First prize.

He... won first prize
for his costume... at school.

He's... an exchange student.
You know, English as second language.

- Way to go. Where you from?
- Father.

- Father... land.
- I always wanted to visit Germany.

This is gonna be a long night.

- So what kind of errand are we running, anyway, guys?
- Looking... everywhere.

See, it's like a tradition in Germany
this time of year to look for stuff.

- You mean like a scavenger hunt?
- Exactly.

- Kind of like an Oktoberfest thing.
- Exactly.

- I'm down with that.
- Fest thing.

Stop!
- Where?

Here.

You coming?

Yeah. Um,
my foot fell asleep.

Be right in.
- All right.

I'm suffocating under here.

While we're in there,
not one peep out of you.

Easy. Ow.
Come on.

You guys from Germany too?

Um... yeah.
This is... Dieter and Katarina.

Call me Kat.

You know, I thought his costume
was great, but you guys are tight.

What are you supposed to be? Some kind of
desert-acclimated combat soldier?

- Wide receiver.
- Reinforcement.

He means they're... part of our...
scavenger-hunt team.

- Right?
- Right.

Easy on the caffeine.

- Tonight's special is haggis.
- Haggis? What - what's haggis?

Heart, liver, lung of a sheep,
minced with suet, onions, and oatmeal,

boiled in the animal's stomach.
Comes with French fries or coleslaw.

Haggis. Yum.

- I'll have the haggis.
- I'll have the haggis.

Just water.

- Nothing for me, thanks.
- Haggis, haggis, haggis, one water, one nothing.

The sandbox is over there.

Here's the deal.

Under no circumstances do I want that guy
to know he's rolling with a bunch of transgenics.

Mess up and your mutant asses will be kicked.
- Yeah.

Do you have any idea
where your body might be?

- Not a clue.
- Think!

Excuse me for being a little
light-headed, no thanks to you.

I think I'm supposed to meet somebody.
- Who?

A female. Yeah. Redhead.
Great set of hooters, nice round bubble butt.

Me and this hottie were supposed to hook up.
- Where?

Can't remember. No - wait.
First I'm supposed to get something.

What?

Package. I was waiting for a delivery, but it never
showed, 'cause the messenger service closed early.

So I was gonna go get it myself -
after hours, if you know what I mean.

- Where?
- Some place in Sector Nine.

- Can you be a little more specific?
- I can't remember the name.

Jam Clydesdale?
Clam Pony?

- Jam Pony?
- Yeah. That's the one.

Oh, my God.

We gotta blaze.

Blaze now?
Before haggis?

Max, looks like you're hanging out
with a higher class of people than usual.

Reagan Ronald's the name.
- Call me Kat.

Ah...

I'm charmed.

- Cool costume.
- It's not a costume. It's for haggis night.

Le specialite? de maison.

I'm sorry. Allergic to cats.
Not that you're really a cat, of course, but...

... just goes to show you the power
of the human mind. I see a cat, I sneeze.

I can't breathe in here.

What was that?

Dieter can throw his voice.
He's a scream at parties.

Can you make that
saltshaker talk, too?

Moron...

Better keep practicing.

- We're outta here.
- I thought you people wanted haggis.

They ran out.
See ya.

Great to meet you.

- We'll be right back.
- What are you hunting for here?

- Ming vase.
- Saxophone.

You know, one of those fourteenth-century,
royal Chinese saxophones?

Aren't you going with them?

You remind me of my friend Chad.

- How big's your package?
- Let's just say I don't get any complaints.

How'd you like me to reach in there and pluck out
your eyes? Now tell me what I'm looking for.

A package.
That's all I know.

- Everybody take a pile.
- Ow.

- This way, everyone.
- It's Reagan Ronald!

Let's go. Hurry up.
C'mon, let's go!

Okay, gather round.

Clear the way.

I'm pleased to announce our
greatest fears have been realized.

Mutant transgenic monsters live among us.

I surreptitiously photographed
these fiends earlier on this evening.

Unfortunately, my undercover activities
forced me to relinquish my post here at Jam Pony.

While I was out, a headless
mutant broke in and stole a package.

Surveillance video caught
the entire thing.

Is there a cat in here?
Someone bring a cat in here?

Excuse me, sir, but the, uh, package that
this headless mutant absconded with -

do we know what was in it?
- No, we do not.

However, in this vermin's haste to flee,
he dropped this piece of paper, which reads,

"Be at the coordinates at ten P.M."

I hate cats.

Vile creatures.
They're always...

... sleeping and licking themselves.

Oh, lovely.

As for this headless mutant,
he will not succeed in his nefarious mission.

While I coordinate operations here at HQ,

you will scour the night, you will find him,
and you'll beat him into a transgenic paste.

But first...

... cake and ice cream upstairs! Yeah?
An army marches on its stomach.

What a loon.

What does that mean?
"Meet at the coordinates at ten P.M."?

Got me. I told you before -
I was planning to hook up with that redhead.

Where are you meeting her?
And talk fast, or the left eye goes first.

Some bar. Munch?
Crunch? Smash? Rash?

- Crash?
- That's the one.

Oh, this just gets
better and better.

What are you looking for here?

Waffle iron... ukelele...
stuffed moose head... whatever?

It's not even like that. We're, uh, playing
by German rules. Can you get me a beer?

Yeah.
One brewski, coming up.

Look at my girl, comin' correct and takin'
Joshua for a night out on the town.

That is so not what's happening.

Hey, brown sugar,
what's cookin'?

Sweet baby Jesus!
Tell me I did not see what I just saw.

- Hold this. I'll be right back.
- Ugh!

- I thought you two were tracking down a hit man.
- Excuse me?

Oh, sorry. Have you two seen
a headless body around?

Back room.

Hey, Max.
Cool costume, bud.

Just been discussing the mutant
infestation with your boy here.

Not right now,
Sketch!

Alpha leader.
Come in, alpha leader.

Roger.
This is alpha leader. Over.

This isn't Roger.
This is Sketchy.

"Roger" is an acknowledgement in the affirmative,
not some person's name, moron.

And how many times have I told you?
Say "Over." Over.

- Acknowledged. Over over.
- No, not "over over." "Over." Over.

Well, that's what I just said.
"Over over."

Oh, God, never mind.
What do you got for me? Over.

The headless mutant trangenic male caucasian
subject just left, armed with a sniper rifle.

The others went after him.
Over over.

Roger.

Guess we know what was
in that package he was after.

All right,
this is alpha leader clear.

Now you forgot to say "over over."
Over over.

Nitwit!

- Why are we chasing this guy?
- That rifle he's got - he stole it from us,

and we need it to win.
- Other team.

Isn't a rifle kind of a weird thing
to get for a scavenger hunt?

German rules.
Step on it!

What?

We're out of gas.

Great.
Just great.

Thanks, guys.

Okay, start talking.
Why's your body packin' heat?

Seattle's a rough town.
Maybe I wanted some personal protection.

A rifle as personal protection?
Try again.

You'll never get it out of me.

Fine. Fine. I'm in town
on a mission, all right?

- A mission?
- For Manticore. Sheesh.

- Manticore's gone. Finito. Kaput.
- No more missions?

For any of us?
- Your mission from now on is to lay low,

which is why we can't have this idiot
running around waving an assault rifle!

Manticore or no, I take pride in my work.
And Mr. Lemkin expects the job to be done.

Lemkin?
Pierpont Lemkin?

I can't believe
I just said that.

You're the hit man
Logan was talking about.

Lemkin.
Lumps in my Lemkin.

Give me that!

How can your body complete a mission
without the rest of it tagging along?

Muscle memory.
I trained for months for this job.

- Who's the target?
- No way. I've said too much already.

- Now you listen to me...
- Okay, we're good to go.

There's been a change in plans.
We're going to Logan's.

- You wanna go to your ex-boyfriend's house?
- He's not my ex-boyfriend.

I mean, we're not like that.

- My Girl.
- Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Pretty Woman.

Little Women.

I read that.

Beth dies.

- So I'm thinking my head is your hit man.
- Could be. We still need to figure out

who the intended victim is.
- Good luck.

Zip it!

- Tokyo Decadence.
- Idle Hands.

- Born Free. Born Free.
- No.

Faster, Pussycat!
Kill, Kill, Kill!

- Look at me. Look at Joshua!
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

- Bingo.
- You found something?

No, I got bingo.

Logan, how is this going
to help us find the target?

Yeah...

Mm-hmm...

Good work.
Thanks.

That was my informant. According to him,
the target is either a priest, a minister, or a rabbi.

- Why do I feel like I've heard this joke before?
- It's not a joke, Max. A man's life is at stake.

Father McCallister, Reverend Beckwith,
and Rabbi Stutz are

outspoken religious leaders
with a lot of clout in the community.

Any one of them could have tangled with
Lemkin and bought themselves this hit.

- You can't narrow it down any more than that?
- Not unless that head starts talking.

Let me break it down for you, Sally. You're gonna
tell me what you know, or you're in a world of hurt.

- I can take anything you dish out.
- Yeah? You ever had a swirlie?

You ready to talk, Sally?
Huh?

Max?
What are you doing?

All right, all right! I'll tell ya.
It's the priest - Father McCallister.

That's a...

Battery-operated, voice-activated, fully
articulated animatronic head. Realistic, isn't it?

Yeah.

Ahh!

There's a perfectly simple
explanation for this.

Boo!

I've had enough of you!

Head... talking... no body...

It's okay, man.
We're all friends here.

Wait a minute.

You're not really German
exchange students on a scavenger hunt.

You're monsters!

Rafer, I had a real nice time.
Call me.

All right, team,
we're moving out.

Can you keep Rafer entertained?
- No problem.

Let's go.
Come on, kids.

Here's the deal. Logan says Father McCallister's
receiving a humanitarian award on Sunday night.

- Father?
- Different Father. Stay with me here.

Tonight they're doing a run-through.
Not a lot of security; perfect opportunity for a hit.

We need to fan out and search the place
top to bottom. Joshua, you take the basement.

Joshua in basement.
Always the plan.

Fine, take the roof.
You take the basement.

You handle backstage.
I'll do the catwalks.

I think I might be better suited
to handle the catwalks.

How 'bout you do what I say
and we don't have a problem?

- Catfight.
- Let's get moving.

So I walk over here to the podium, where I am
to accept my award - well-deserved, I might add...

... and I wait 'til the applause dies down,
and I give my acceptance speech,

and I promise you,
there won't be a dry eye in the house.

Come on, come on,
what are you waiting for?

Yo! Father McCallister,
over here!

Who - who's that calling my name?

Uh... a great admirer of yours.
How 'bout an autograph, Your Eminence?

Let me go!

Kick her ass!

So this was some kind of a -
a drunken Halloween fraternity prank?

Apparently so, Your Worship.

That hooligan was intending to egg you
as part of a pagan initiation ritual.

Oh, thank you, my children,
for putting a stop to this heathen plan.

- Don't thank her, Your Godliness.
- Thank us. We're the ones that saved you.

Now just hold the phone.

- I'm Eyes Only.
- I'm Supreme Commandant of S1W.

Saints preserve us.

When you have a moment, Your Cleanliness,
would you marry us?

It would be a privilege,
my son.

There they are, constables!
Do your duty!

Pardon the interruption, Your Significance,
but these people are monsters.

Max, get away.

- Max...
- No - he wasn't hurting anybody!

And what do you know about it?
Are you one of them?

Well, answer him, Max.

No. I'm not one of them.

- Well, then, move along and mind your own business.
- Max...

All I wanted was
a normal night out.

But I guess for a girl like me,
normal is just too much to ask.

And the thing of it is...
- Boo.

- What are you doing here?
- Checking in on you.

Poor Joshua's gonna spend
the rest of his life in a cage.

- I know, and it's all my fault.
- Got that right.

Max and Joshua.
Outside with up-here people.

- Do you wanna end up in a cage?
- Come on. What's the worst thing that could happen?

- What the hell was that?!
- Flashback. Happens all the time.

- Thought I was trippin' there for a minute.
- This whole evening's been one great big nightmare.

But the worst part wasn't
some talking head in a bag,

or anomalies eatin' haggis,

or even Joshua gettin'
hauled off by the po-pos.

It was my girl denying
who she really is...

denying the people
that she loves.

Sugar, that's the worst thing
that you ever coulda done.

That's the worst thing
that coulda happened.

But can I ask you one question?

Where are your clothes?

Boo.

Hey.

What are you gonna be for Halloween?
A prune?

I just had the weirdest dream.

You better put some clothes on.
You're gonna be late for the party at Crash.

And your boy Rafer
is waitin' on your ass.

Tell him I couldn't make it.
There's something I gotta do.

Hey, big fella.
Whatcha doing?

Lay low.

I've been thinking.

You and me aren't like other people.
We're different, and nothing's gonna change that.

Joshua and Max... different.

Yeah.
Some people might even call us freaks.

Freaks.

Which is why we gotta stick together.

So I'm gonna take you out.

Even if it's just for one night.

Come on.

- Tricks and treats?
- What's the worst that could happen?

Cool costume.