Daria (1997–2001): Season 1, Episode 10 - The Big House - full transcript

- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

- [whispers] THANKS.

[tires squeal]

- HOLD IT, YOUNG LADY.

- FUNNY.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OUT SO LATE?

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OUT SO LATE?

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I'M ALWAYS OUT THIS LATE.

- THEN YOU CAN TELL ME
HOW TO SNEAK IN.

- WELL, FOR ONE THING,

STOP TIPTOEING AROUND
LIKE A GEEK.

HAVE A LITTLE DIGNITY, DARIA.

- IF I HAD ANY DIGNITY,

DO YOU THINK I'D BE OUT HERE

LETTING YOU TRY AND TEACH ME
HOW TO BE COOL?

- WHATEVER.

[window opens]

- WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN THERE?

- [whispering] MORE THREATENING.

- LET ME HANDLE IT.

DARN IT!
WHAT'S DOING ON DOWN THERE?

- JAKE, YOU SOUND LIKE
SUCH A GEEK.

- IS THIS GONNA TAKE LONG?

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SOMEWHERE.

- OH, IS THERE ANOTHER
TIGHT PANTS SALE

GOING ON AT THE MALL?

- DON'T START, GIRLS.

YOUR FATHER AND I ARE VERY UPSET
THAT YOU BROKE YOUR CURFEW

LAST NIGHT.

- I DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD A CURFEW.

- WELL, THAT'S INTERESTING,
DARIA.

I DIDN'T EITHER.

BUT ACCORDING TO YOUR MOTHER...
- JAKE.

THE POINT IS,
YOU WERE OUT WAY TOO LATE,

WHICH IS WHY TONIGHT
WE'RE GOING TO...

- DESTROY OUR LIVES
WITH YOUR CRUSHING RULES

AND REGULATIONS?

I CAN'T BREATHE, MOTHER.

I CAN'T BREATHE!

- NO.

TONIGHT WE'RE GOING
TO SET SOME...

BOUNDARIES.

AND WE'D LIKE YOUR INPUT.

- WELL, EVERYBODY KNOWS
THAT LATE CURFEWS

SHOULD GO TO PEOPLE
WHO CAN REALLY USE THEM:

ATTRACTIVE AND POPULAR PEOPLE
WITH LOTS OF FRIENDS.

- WOW, WHO SAID THAT,
THOMAS JEFFERSON?

OR WAS IT BARBIE?

- IT CAN'T BE JEFFERSON.
- OF COURSE NOT.

NO PINHEADED HISTORICAL PERSON
COULD EVER MAKE THAT MUCH SENSE.

- REALLY.

- ALL RIGHT, GIRLS.
FORGET THE INPUT.

- HEY, DOES THIS MEAN WE GET
TO WANDER IN THE DESSERT

FOR 40 YEARS?

- AFTER MUCH HARD WORK,

YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE COME UP
WITH A SET OF GUIDELINES

I THINK WE ALL CAN LIVE BY.

- THAT'S RIGHT.
A LOT OF THOUGHT WENT INTO THIS.

[softly]
DO I NEED TO READ THESE?

- LATER.

- WOW, THE NEW SYSTEM SEEMS
REALLY GREAT AND INTERESTING,

AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SIT DOWN
AND REALLY READ THROUGH IT..

- OH, BROTHER.

- BUT RIGHT NOW,
I SORT OF HAVE TO GO.

I HAVE A DATE.

- YOU CAN'T GO ON A DATE.

IT SAYS RIGHT HERE
THAT WE DON'T PERMIT THAT

ON A SCHOOL NIGHT.

RULE 18.

- YOU KNOW WHAT,

YOU'RE CONFUSED ABOUT MY USE
OF THE WORD "DATE."

I HAVE A DATE
TO MEET WITH MY, UH,

ALGEBRA STUDY GROUP.

- OH.
WELL, THAT SOUNDS OKAY.

- ALL RIGHT.

BUT AS PER THE PROCEDURE
OUTLINED IN RULES 21 THROUGH 26,

MAKE SURE YOU SIGN IN
WHEN YOU GET BACK.

- YEAH, BYE.

AND DON'T WAIT UP.

YOU KNOW HOW STUDY GROUPS ARE.

- GOOD FOR YOU, QUINN.

STUDY HARD.
[door closes]

- AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES
WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE?

- RULE NUMBER ONE:

"PERSISTENT QUESTIONING
OF PARENTAL JUDGMENT

IS PUNISHABLE."

- [yawns]

- ♪ THERE SHE IS,
MISS AMERICAN BOOKWORM ♪

YEAH, YOU GUYS REALLY
MUST HAVE BEEN BURNING

THE MIDNIGHT OIL LAST NIGHT.

- WE WEREN'T BURNING ANYTHING.

- I MEAN
YOUR ALGEBRA STUDY GROUP.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- THE STUDY GROUP YOU WENT TO.

THE SIGN-IN SHEET SAYS
YOU GOT BACK AT 11:30.

BUT NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT,
I WENT TO BED AT 11:45.

HEY, I THOUGHT YOU GOT
THAT WATCH FIXED.

- A COUPLE OF TIMES.

PREPARE TO BE BUSTED.

- QUINN...

WERE YOU AT A STUDY GROUP
LAST NIGHT,

OR DID YOU GO ON A DATE?

- DON'T YOU SEE HOW YOUR RULES
ARE STRANGLING ME?

YES, I WENT ON A DATE,
BUT WE'RE IN LOVE,

AND ALL THE RULES
AND REGULATIONS IN THE WORLD

CAN'T STOP THAT.

- IN LOVE?
- WITH WHOM?

- HIS NAME IS CLIFF.

OOP, NO, WAIT.
IT'S CLINT.

I'M NOT POSITIVE,
BUT I CAN FIND OUT AT SCHOOL.

- YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIS NAME,
AND YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HIM!

- YOU KNOW WHAT,

YOU'RE CONFUSED ABOUT MY USE
OF THE WORD "LOVE."

- DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY
OF THESE RULES YOU'VE BROKEN?

- HOW MANY DAD,
AND WHICH ONES?

- W-WHAT'S THAT GOT
TO DO WITH IT?

- UGGHH.

OKAY, GROUND ME.

- I WISH IT WERE THAT SIMPLE.

- EXACTLY.

WHAT?

- SO INSTEAD OF SAYING,
"DON'T COME HOME SO LATE,"

NOW THEY'VE CREATED SOME
ELABORATE PUNISHMENT SYSTEM.

- YOU MEAN LIKE
A SPANKING MACHINE?

- I MEAN LIKE FAMILY COURT.

- DUE PROCESS?

YIKES.

- HEY, YOU GUYS WANT
TO BUY TICKETS

TO THE FACULTY-DJ
ROLLER HOCKEY GAME?

- ARE YOU KIDDING?

- WE'LL TAKE TWO.

- WHAT?

YOU'RE GONNA PAY
TO WATCH TEACHERS

SKATE AROUND WITH DJs...

CLASSIC ROCK DJs?

- YOU WEREN'T HERE LAST YEAR,
DARIA.

[cheers and applause]

- OOO-AHH!

- WHOO-HOO!

ROCK AND ROLL FOREVER.

- HELP... ME.

- MR. DEMARTINO HAD TO HAVE
AN EMERGENCY ANGIOPLASTY.

HE ALMOST DIED.

- BUT A VOICE TOLD HIM

HIS WORK HERE ON EARTH
WASN'T FINISHED.

SOME OF THE STUDENTS
WEREN'T WETTING THE BED YET.

THIS YEAR, HE'S MORE DETERMINED
THAN EVER

TO SNATCH VICTORY
FROM THE JAWS OF DEATH.

- 398, 399...

[groaning]
FOUR...

HUNDRED.

[sighs]

HEH.

ROCK AND ROLL RANDY,
THIS YEAR, YOU'RE MINE.

- WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

- YOU KNOW HOW THERE ARE PEOPLE
WHO GO TO CAR RACES

ON THE CHANCE
THEY MIGHT SEE A CRASH?

- I'M IN.

- WHAT DO THOSE
SUPREME COURT JUDGES

WEAR UNDER THEIR ROBES?

DECLASSIFIED
GOVERNMENT POLAROIDS,

NEXT,
ON SICK, SAD WORLD.

- HI, HONEY.

- NOW, ARE YOU GIRLS READY
FOR YOUR DAY IN COURT?

- CAN'T YOU JUST PUNISH US?

I'D LIKE TO PAY MY CHECK
TO SOCIETY

AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE.

- YOUR FATHER AND I WANT YOU
TO HAVE A FAIR HEARING.

THEN WE'LL PUNISH YOU.

- BUT A COURT PROCEDURE...

ISN'T THAT
A LITTLE BUREAUCRATIC?

- BUREAUCRACY IS THE PRICE
WE PAY FOR IMPARTIALITY.

- JEFFERSON.

- STALIN.

IT'S ALL ABOUT FAIRNESS, GIRLS.

THAT'S WHY YOUR FATHER

WILL MAKE A TERRIFIC JUDGE.

- I GET TO BE THE JUDGE?

- LOOK,
SOMEONE ONCE SAID,

"THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
IN LIFE

IS NOT TO LOOK LIKE A GEEK."

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HOW GEEKY ALL OF THIS IS?

- THAT'S IT, DARIA.

- ALL I CAN SAY IS,
I HOPE YOU HAVE

A DARNED GOOD DEFENSE LAWYER.

- A LAWYER?

MOM?

- SORRY, HONEY,
I'M PROSECUTING,

AND IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF,
YOU'RE GOING DOWN.

- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

- LET ME START BY SAYING THAT,

WHILE I RESPECT THE EFFORT
THAT'S GONE INTO THIS...

- OH, MY GOD.
I ALMOST FORGOT.

SORRY, COUNSELOR.

THE COURT REQUIRES
THIS ACCOUTREMENT.

- OH, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

Thud!

- THERE.

FAMILY COURT IS NOW SESSION.

- CAREFUL.

DON'T FALL OFF
THE ACCOUTREMENT.

- ALL RISE.

PLEASE BE SEATED.

THE COURT CALLS THE CASE
OF THE FAMILY

VERSUS DARIA
AND QUINN MORGENDORFFER.

- DAD, WHAT IS THIS?

- DAD?

I DON'T SEE ANY DAD.

- YOUR HONOR,

MAY THE FAMILY PROCEED
WITH OUR OPENING STATEMENT?

- WOULD YOU APPROACH THE BENCH,
PLEASE, COUNSELOR.

[whispers]
HOW DO I LOOK?

- YOUR HONOR, LET ME MAKE IT
CLEAR AT THE OUTSET

THAT THIS IS NOT A WITCH HUNT.

DARIA AND QUINN
ARE TWO FINE GIRLS

WHO HAVE OFTEN MADE US PROUD.

- [together] BUT...

- BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE
THEM EXEMPT

FROM THE SIMPLE TRUTH
THAT RULES OUR RULES...

[telephone rings]

- UH-HUH.

- OR BOUNDARIES.
- YEAH, BYE.

YOUR HONOR, I HAVE TO GO.

I, UM, MADE AN ARRANGEMENT
TO WORK, UH,

ON THE SCHOOL'S ADOPT-A-HIGHWAY
PRIOR TO THIS COURT DATE.

- BUT WE HAVEN'T EVEN CALLED YOU
TO THE STAND YET.

- WELL, I WAS GOING TO PLEAD
GUILTY OR WHATEVER ANYWAY.

I THROW MYSELF ON THE MERCY
OF THIS, UM, HONORABLE COURT.

- THE COURT GRANTS YOU
PERMISSION.

- THANKS.

- NOW THEN...

- YOUR HONOR, I PLEAD GUILTY
AND PLACE MY FAITH

IN YOUR WISDOM,
YOUR COMPASSION,

AND YOUR KEEN SENSE
OF FAIR PLAY.

- WELL SAID.

GROUNDED FOR A MONTH.

- WHAT?

I WASN'T EVEN THE ONE
WHO STAYED OUT LATE.

- WE HAVE TO SET BOUNDARIES,
DARIA.

NOBODY SAID THE JUSTICE SYSTEM
WOULD BE FAIR.

- ACTUALLY, I THINK
SOMEBODY DID SAY THAT.

JEFFERSON OR SOMEBODY...

- WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU
ABOUT BACKING ME UP?

- SORRY, THE SENTENCE STANDS.

YOU AND YOUR SISTER
ARE GROUNDED FOR A MONTH.

[school bell rings]

- MAN, THIS GAME'S
GONNA BE GREAT.

I SAY MR. "D" GOES DOWN

HALFWAY THROUGH
THE SECOND PERIOD.

- THAT'S TOO LATE.

HE'S GONNA BLOW OUT EARLY
IN THE GAME,

WHILE THE ADRENALINE'S HIGH.

- YOU GUYS ARE SO INSENSITIVE.

- WHAT DO YOU HAVE
IN THE POOL, JODIE?

- THIRD PERIOD,
TWO MINUTES IN.

PRIME CRAMPING TIME.

HEY, DARIA, WHAT DO YOU HAVE
IN THE DEMARTINO POOL?

- I'M NOT GOING.

I'M GROUNDED.

[laughter]

- WHAT DID YOU DO
TO GET GROUNDED?

NO OFFENSE.

- NONE TAKEN,

ESPECIALLY SINCE
I'M JUST THE VICTIM

OF A BIZARRE EXPERIMENT
IN PARENTAL JUSTICE.

- AN EXPERIMENT?
ON YOU?

- YEAH, THEY DELIBERATELY
EXPOSED ME TO JURISPRUDENCE.

- WHOA!

THAT'S A LITTLE TWISTED.

- YEAH, THE SAD PART IS
THAT THESE ARE THE PEOPLE

RESPONSIBLE
FOR MY GENETIC MAKEUP.

[laughter]

- GREAT DINNER, HONEY.
RIGHT, GIRLS?

- NOW OFF TO THE EXERCISE YARD
BEFORE LOCKUP.

- HEY, THAT'S RIGHT.

ANY FINAL WORDS BEFORE
THE GROUNDING OFFICIALLY BEGINS?

- THIS SUCKS.

- WHAT HAVE I SAID
ABOUT USING THAT WORD?

- THAT YOU'LL GROUND ME
OR SOMETHING.

- HEY, I WOULDN'T WANT
TO GO BACK TO FAMILY COURT

IF I WERE YOU.

[chuckles]

I HEAR THAT JUDGE
IS PRETTY TOUGH.

[clock dings]

[pronounced ticking]

- SEE?
THIS WILL FLY BY IN NO TIME.

- HOW CAN YOU SIT THERE
AND READ A BOOK ABOUT AN ANIMAL?

THAT'S SO SECOND GRADE.

- QUINN...

- UH-HUH.
UH-HUH.

WHAT WERE HIS EYES LIKE?

UH-HUH.
RIGHT.

- HONEY, I NEED TO MAKE A CALL.

- I'LL JUST BE A SEC, DAD.

WHAT ABOUT HIS HAIR?

UH-HUH.
UH-HUH.

WOULD YOU SAY HIS TEETH
ARE ROUND OR MORE SQUARE-ISH?

RIGHT, UH-HUH.

I KNOW.

SQUARE-ISH IS SO HOT.

NOW, LET'S GET BACK
TO THE SIX OTHER GUYS

HE WAS WITH.

- [groans]

- THEN SHE SAID HER PARENTS
ARE TRYING

TO CHANGE HER GENERIC MAKEUP
OR SOMETHING.

- THEY REALLY SHOULD.

I HATE THAT GENERIC MAKEUP.

IT GIVES ME HIVES.

- BUT IT'S SO FREAKY, BABE.

I MEAN, SHE'S WEIRD ENOUGH
AS IT IS.

- YOU KNOW, THE ONLY THING WORSE
THAN ACTUALLY READING

IS WATCHING SOMEBODY ELSE READ.

REALLY?

YOU THINK THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN
IN THE NEXT SIX MONTHS?

THAT WOULD BE SO GREAT.

- QUINN, I REALLY HAVE TO USE
THE PHONE.

- MUH-OM!

I'M SORRY, BUT I THINK LEARNING
ABOUT MY FUTURE HUSBAND

IS A LITTLE MORE IMPORTANT
RIGHT NOW.

- WHAT?

ARE YOU TALKING
TO THAT CLINT PERSON AGAIN?

- WHO?

NO, IT'S MY PSYCHIC BUDDY.

- HANG UP THAT PHONE
THIS INSTANT.

THOSE CALLS COST A FORTUNE.

I'M SORRY, BUT I NEED THE PHONE,
AND MY DAUGHTER ISN'T ALLOW...

WHAT?

WHY, YES, I WAS ABOUT
TO CALL A CLIENT.

REALLY?

I BELIEVE HE WAS BORN
IN AUGUST.

OH!

[bluesy harmonica music]

♪ ♪

- YEAH, HI, DARIA.

I WAS KIND OF WONDERING
IF MAYBE YOU COULD STOP NOW.

- DAD, THESE TIRED BONES

MAY BE LOCKED
BEHIND PRISON WALLS,

BUT WHEN I PLAY
THIS RUSTY OLD HARP

MY SOUL FLIES FREE AS A BIRD.

- I'M SORRY, HONEY.

YOU GO ON AND PLAY.

- THANK YOU.

[music resumes]

♪ ♪

- OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY.

I CAN'T STAND IT.

CAN I PLEASE BORROW A BOOK?

- TRY THIS.

I THINK YOU'LL GET INTO IT.

- HA HA, VERY FUNNY.

NOW GIVE ME
SOMETHING I CAN READ.

- NO, I THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT.

IT'S ABOUT THIS GIRL
WHO IS SO POPULAR

THAT EVERYBODY FIGHTS OVER HER.

- ANY HORSES IN IT?

- AS A MATTER OF FACT,
THERE'S A GREAT BIG ONE.

- THIS IS A TRICK, ISN'T IT?

- YES.

- KEVIN'S ALL WEIRDED OUT.

HE SAYS HER PARENTS
HAVE COME UP WITH SOME

SICK PUNISHMENT
THAT GIVES HER HIVES.

- THEY'VE BEEN GIVING HER HIVES
FOR YEARS.

- LOOK, I SPOKE TO DARIA.

THEY'RE JUST SITTING
AROUND THE HOUSE.

COME ON.
SEE FOR YOURSELF.

- WELL, WELL.

THE LITTLE DOG COMES HOME
TO PARK PLACE,

PARK PLACE WITH A HOTEL.

DAD, I'M AFRAID
YOU OWE ME $1,600.

- [groaning] HUH.

OKAY, LET'S SEE.

1, 2, 12, 17.

I HAVE $17.

- ANY PROPERTY?

- IT'S ALL MORTGAGED.

- CARE TO MAKE A DEAL?

- I'D NEED INFINITE FREE PASSAGE
ON ALL YOUR PROPERTIES...

- I CAN DO THAT.

- $5,000...
- KEEP TALKING.

- AND ALL YOUR RAILROADS.
[doorbell rings]

- I BELIEVE WE CAN DO BUSINESS.
- JAKE!

YOU CANNOT REVOKE
DARIA'S GROUNDING.

- BUT I'M LOSING.

- SEE?
SHE'S OKAY.

- I GUESS SO.

- ALTHOUGH...

THE CLOTHING WOULD DISGUISE
ANY ELECTRODES BELOW THE NECK.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- THERE HAVE BEEN
A LOT OF RUMORS

ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE BEEN
GOING THROUGH.

- IT'S HELL IN HERE.

- WHEN DOES IT END?
- I DON'T CARE.

IT'S BEEN TOO LONG ALREADY.

I'VE PAID MY DEBT.

- YOU MEAN...

- THAT'S RIGHT.
I'M BUSTING OUT.

- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

- I MADE A TAPE
OF MY HARMONICA MUSIC,

I CAN CLIMB DOWN THE LATTICE
IN UNDER THREE MINUTES,

AND I KNOW EXACTLY HOW OFTEN

THE NEIGHBORHOOD SECURITY GUY
DRIVES BY.

IT'LL BE TIGHT,
BUT I THINK I CAN MAKE IT.

[phone beeps]

- HOLD ON.

HELLO.

- DARIA, THIS IS YOUR MOTHER.

WOULD YOU TELL DAD
I HAVE TO WORK LATE

DRAFTING A REPORT?

- YOU BET.

- GO GET 'EM, TIGER.

JANE.
[phone beeps]

HOLD ON.

HELLO.

- HEY, DARIA, IT'S DAD.

WOULD YOU TELL MOM I'VE GOT
DINNER WITH A CLIENT TONIGHT?

A BIGGIE!

- UH, I'LL BE SURE
TO LEAVE HER THAT MESSAGE.

- SUPER.

BUH-BYE.

- JANE.

NEW PLAN.

COME OVER AND PICK ME UP.

I'LL BE AT THE FRONT DOOR.

- HELLO.

- MOM AND DAD ARE TAKING
THE NIGHT OFF

FROM BEING JAILERS,

SO I'M TAKING THE NIGHT OFF TOO.

- YOU'RE... BUSTING OUT?

- THE CONFINEMENT
HAS MADE ME DESPERATE.

IF I DON'T GET OUT,

I'M AFRAID I'LL DO
SOMETHING CRAZY.

- REALLY?

- NO, I'M GOING
TO THE ROLLER HOCKEY GAME.

ARE YOU?
- OH, UH, NO.

I'M NOT LOOKING FOR ANY TROUBLE,

BUT YOU GO AHEAD.

- I SUSPECT YOU HAVE SOME SCAM
WORKED OUT FOR YOURSELF,

BUT SINCE I CAN'T
PROVE ANYTHING,

I'M ASKING YOU NOT TO RAT ON ME.

- HMM.
OKAY, YES.

I WILL DO THIS THING YOU ASK.

BUT ONE DAY I MAY ASK
A FAVOR OF YOU.

- NEVER MIND.

[whistle]

THINK ANYTHING HAS HAPPENED YET?

- YOU MEAN ANYTHING COOL?

NAH.

THE AMBULANCE IS STILL
ON THE LOT.

- HEY, LOOK.
DARIA'S LOOSE.

- SEE?
I TOLD YOU SHE WAS OKAY.

- SHE LOOKS FINE...
FOR HER.

- I DON'T KNOW.

- THIS COULD BE IT.

- COME ON!

TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT...

LIKE... A MAN.

- I'M NOT MAN, DUDE.

I'M A ROCKER.

- WHY, YOU...

[groaning]

WHERE'S YOUR...

ROCK AND ROLL POWER NOW?

HIPPIE.

- YAHH!

- AHHH.

[buzzer]
- YES!

- WHOO-HOO!

ROCK AND ROLL POWER FOREVER.

- MY KNEE!

[growling]
OH.

- DAMN.

- I DON'T SUPPOSE
WE CAN GET A REFUND.

- HE COULD STILL HAVE
A HEART ATTACK.

HE TRIES WALKING
ON THE BAD KNEE,

AND THE PAIN IS SO BAD,
HIS HEART STOPS.

- RIGHT.

- JUST TRYING TO FIND
THE SILVER LINING.

- THEY DID MENTAL STUFF TO HER.

I CAN TELL.

- NOBODY BETTER TRY THAT ON ME.

- YEAH.

- QUINN?

- UGH, GET IT OFF ME!

- WHERE'S DARIA?

[cheers]

- IT'S PAYBACK TIME,
RANDY.

- HEY, THIS ISN'T SO BAD.

- BEATS MONOPOLY.

- [whispers] QUINN, QUINN.

- TOMMY, GO AWAY.

- BUT YOU SAID...

- YOU'RE TWO HOURS LATE, JERK!

OH, HI, DARIA.

MOM FLIPPED LAST NIGHT
WHEN SHE FOUND OUT

WHERE YOU WENT.

- AND HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

- I REALLY DON'T KNOW.

OH, LOOK!
HERE SHE IS NOW.

- YOUR HONOR...

- HAVEN'T YOU ALREADY MADE
ENOUGH OF A MOCKERY

OF OUR JUDICIAL SYSTEM?

- I JUST WANT TO CONFER

WITH MY DISTINGUISHED
COUNTERPART ON THE PROSECUTION.

- THAT SEEMS FAIR.

YOU CAN'T SERIOUSLY EXPECT ME
TO PLEA BARGAIN.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
A REPEAT OFFENDER HERE.

- OKAY,
THE KID SCREWED UP.

BUT SHE'S NOT A HARD CASE YET.

SHE COULD GO EITHER WAY...

UNLESS YOU SEND HER
BACK TO PRISON.

- DARIA, IT'S OUR POLICY
TO BE TOUGH,

ESPECIALLY ON
YOUTHFUL TRANSGRESSORS.

- BUT THINK OF THE EFFORT
YOU HAVE TO SPEND

ON INCARCERATION:

SCRABBLE, RISK,

MONOPOLY, OPERATION.

- I SEE YOUR POINT.

- WELL?

- YOUR HONOR, THE FAMILY
HAS OFFERED TO SETTLE.

DARIA AGREES TO PAROLE.

- I HAVE TO CALL IN
IF I'M GOING TO BE LATER

THAN 7:00 P.M.

- SO WHAT HAPPENED?

DOES DARIA HAVE TO PAVE
THE DRIVEWAY OR SOMETHING?

- I GOT OFF.

ENJOY PRISON.

- WAIT A MINUTE.

- DARIA HAS PROVEN
THAT SHE UNDERSTANDS

THE NECESSITY FOR DISCIPLINE.

- BUT YOU'RE SENDING ME
A BAD MESSAGE

ABOUT WHETHER
I UNDERSTAND THAT...

WHATEVER YOU SAID.

- GOOD POINT.

- WELL...

WE'LL GIVE YOU PAROLE
ON A TRIAL BASIS.

- OKAY.

IF TOMMY CALLS,
TELL HIM I'M ON MY WAY.

[door opens, shuts]

- LISTEN, THIS NEW RULES THING
WASN'T A TOTAL FAILURE.

WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO HEAR
SOME JUNIOR WELLS?

- YOU KNOW WHAT,
WHY DON'T YOU GO OUT

AND FIND YOUR FRIENDS
AND HAVE A GOOD TIME.

- COME HOME LATE.
10:30.

- HEY, THANKS.

♪ ♪

- SO, BASICALLY,
YOU CONVINCED THEM

YOU WERE TOO DULL
TO BE WORTH GROUNDING.

- EXACTLY.

AND THE SAD THING IS,
IT'S KIND OF TRUE.

KEVIN, I ALREADY TOLD YOU,

MY PARENTS DID NOT CONDUCT
EXPERIMENTS ON ME.

- I KNOW, I KNOW.

BUT SERIOUSLY,
NOW TELL ME THE TRUTH.

- ALL RIGHT.

I HAD A MAGNETIC DEVICE
IMPLANTED IN MY HEAD.

- I KNEW IT.

WHAT'S IT DO?

- IT ATTRACTS GULLIBLE BOYS.

- COOL.
DOES IT WORK?

- IT'S WORKING RIGHT NOW.

- WHOA, DUDE.

THAT IS VERY UNCOOL.

- THERE IS NO SADDER SIGHT
ON THIS EARTH

THAN A FOOTBALL PLAYER
TRYING TO THINK.

- WHO SAID THAT?

- I BELIEVE IT WAS JEFFERSON.

- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

[rock music]

♪ ♪

♪ LA-LA-LA ♪

♪ ♪

♪ LA-LA-LA ♪

♪ ♪

♪ LA-LA-LA ♪

♪ ♪

♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪