Crime Story (1986–1988): Season 2, Episode 9 - Mig 21 - full transcript
A Russian pilot defects by flying his plane into the U.S. and landing in Nevada. Torello and his men are assigned to protect him. They become friends. But Torello learns that the government is considering trading him for the U2 pilot being held in the Soviet Union. And they try to stop it from happening. Abrams who now works for Luca helps him get something on a guy whose business he wants to buy.
well, it's one
for the money
two for the show,
three to be getting ready
now go, cat, go
and not to
be stepping
on my blue
suede shoes.
Hello, colonel patchenko.
Welcome to america.
We've been looking
all over for you. Over.
Hello there, yourself.
You're a little off your flight plan
there. So how about executing a 180
And parking your bird at edwards air
force base like you're supposed to?
I am changing
flight plan.
Hold on, colonel.
You can't do that.
We've got the cia debriefing
committee waiting at edwards.
Then they will
have to be waiting.
Patchenko did not
defect to talk to boring
Intelligence bureaucrats
and boring peasant.
Say again there, colonel?
I spit on
boring peasant.
I'm sorry, colonel.
That's a negative.
We're here to escort you
to edwards.
But first
you must catch me,
Yes?
That commie's gone
supersonic and crazy.
Man, am I gonna
love this.
No guns, no wiseguys,
no neon lights.
Yes, sir, buddy.
All we need now is
the bait and the beer.
Nothing but rainbow trout and fresh air.
What the hell
was that?
Unidentified aircraft,
mccarran airport.
Please identify yourself
and say intentions. Over.
mccarran airport.
This is colonel ivan
ivanovitch patchenko
Of the soviet air ministry
at your service.
Please to be landing,
mccarran.
Unidentified aircraft,
mccarran airfield.
Say type aircraft
and identify yourself.
It's a mig.
Excuse me, please,
but I am having slight problem.
My plane is out of fuel
And, unless I am
landing right now,
I am to be crashing into
large hotel below. Over.
Aircraft calling mccarran,
are you declaring an emergency?
Never mind,
mccarran airport.
I am seeing runway now.
Thanks, anyway. Over and out.
Unidentified aircraft,
mccarran field.
Landing is unauthorized.
Whew!
Well, america,
here I am.
Viva las vegas!
as I walk along
I wonder
what went wrong
with our lives
lives
that were so strong
and as I
still walk on
I think
of the things
we've done together
while our hearts
were young
I'm a-walking
in the rain
tears are falling
and I feel the pain
watching
all the players go by
some live
and others die
and I wonder
I wah-wah-wah-wah
wonder
why
why, why,
why, why, why
I don't walk away
and I wonder
what makes me stay
runaway
run, run, run, run,
runaway.
His name is
ivan patchenko.
His defection
with the mig 15
Is the culmination
of two years of planning.
It's a very big operation,
including two midair refuelings.
How come you people from the cia
aren't handling all of this stuff?
Cia is on the way.
I'm n.S.A.
N.S.A., n.B.C.
- What's the difference?
He wasn't supposed
to land here.
The plan was for him to end
up at edwards air force base.
- So what happened?
- He said it was too boring.
- Great.
- Let's just say
That colonel patchenko is not
exactly your typical russian pilot.
You are to be getting
mr. Sammy davis.
But I explained
he's away on tour.
Then call
mr. Dino martin.
Bishop, joey.
Is this guy a pilot
or a talent agent?
You are the people
from "life" magazine?
This is lieutenant
torello, sergeant krychek.
- They'll be your security guards while you're in vegas.
- What?
My own bodyguards,
like kruschev.
No. Forget about it. We got a
date with some rainbow trout.
Wrong. You're temporarily assigned to me
- Till further notice.
- Yeah? Wait.
- Says who?
- Says your boss in washington, bill hallahan.
Oh, he's gonna owe us
big time for this.
Okay, where is king?
this is a democracy.
We don't have a king.
He means elvis presley
the singer.
He's not just singer.
- He's king
of rock and roll.
He'd like to meet
some american women as well.
Da. Are you out of your mind?
We're not
an escort service.
Patchenko is to be
understanding english.
Well, that's good. That's real
good. You're out of your mind.
You are right.
Patchenko is
out of his mind.
He is forgetting future soviet
troop movements in europe,
Technical information
about m-I-g 15.
Patchenko was to be
soviet defective,
But now he is
Out of his... Mind.
Goodbye, please.
This guy reminds me
of a russian frank holman.
Try to be
a little diplomatic.
The man is a potential
intelligence goldmine.
This guy has about as much
intelligence value as a bowl of borscht.
You are always speaking
what is on your mind?
- Yeah.
- I am liking it.
To be saying
what you are thinking...
Must be wonderful thing.
We make deal, okay?
You don't have to be
friend to me,
But you are never
lying to me, okay?
Yeah, sure.
Why not?
Also...
I saw "ocean's 11"
in berlin.
I say, "patchenko,
Vegas is your
kind of town."
Hmm?
We got 32 planes.
We got routes
all over the far east-
Hong kong,
japan, formosa,
The philippines.
It's a nice setup.
I'm very impressed.
Yeah, I'm proud
of the company.
It took a lot of hard work and
sweat to make it what she is today.
You want to finish
that off, jeff?
And I am real
flattered
That you'd like to buy
into golden dragon,
Mister, uh, luca?
It's just that I ain't
interested in a partner.
You haven't even
heard my offer yet.
Mr. Bouchard,
our research tells us
That the book value
on the golden dragon
Is between
10 and 12 million.
We're willing
to offer you 15.
Ooh! 15 million.
Kind of makes
your head spin.
A man could retire and live quite
a life with that kind of money.
Not bad for a fellow
who started out
As a montana
cowboy, huh?
The trouble is
I'm not
the retiring type.
I'm the kind of guy
who dies in his saddle.
Mr. Bouchard,
what we're offering
Is not just
an infusion of capital.
It's an infusion
of fresh blood.
I'm sure you are,
but the fact is, boys,
You're whistling up
the wrong tree.
If you want to buy
an air freight company,
You're going to have
to look elsewhere.
If you fellows
will excuse me,
I got a company to run.
- Waste of time.
- Don't be so sure.
It just means
we stop making nice
And we start
playing hardball.
It's amazing!
Unbelieving-able.
So many
to choose from.
You got your craps.
You got your roulette.
And you got your blackjack.
You got your poker.
- No no.
- Okay, you got your keno. You got your slots.
No no no,
there.
Those are showgirls,
big guy.
They all come in here
for breakfast.
There's amy and hilda
from the crystal palace.
Brooke from the golden
lady, the fields twins.
- They dance at the-
- you dirty dogs.
You have the field
covered, huh?
He does.
She's prettiest thing
on earth.
Hello!
- How are you? Nice to see you.
Excuse me, please.
- May I ask your name?
- Fawna.
Is most beautiful
name on planet,
And you are most
beautiful creature.
And I, colonel ivan
ivanovitch patchenko
Of the vladivostok
and soviet air ministry
Hockey team,
I know.
I was put on earth
only for this moment
When our eyes are meeting
across this crowded room
And we are falling
in love for the ever.
What is this? Some kind
of obnoxious lounge act?
Aw!
Mike, carruthers called
headquarters.
He wants us to bring patchenko
to the federal building right now.
A russian delegation from the
soviet consulate in san francisco
Has arrived to talk
to patchenko.
They just want to make sure you're
not being held here against your will.
...Carruthers.
Vasi.
Ivan.
There's something
you should know.
Our government is talking
a deal with the soviets.
The idea is to trade patchenko
for the u-2 pilot of ours
That was shot down over
the soviet union last month.
You know what they do to defectors?
Patchenko's gonna get shot
- And dumped in the snow.
- Patchenko's unimportant.
We have the mig. There's very
little else of value he can tell us,
But his presence here allows
us to trade a pawn for a knight.
- Very smart politics.
Hold on a second.
We want to get that pilot
back as much as you do,
But I think it stinks.
Patchenko came here
to america for his freedom,
And now you're gonna turn him
back to a russian firing squad?
Why don't you trade
someone you captured?
They've got our u-2 pilot.
Why don't you trade
Some pilot or some spy
that you captured,
- Not patchenko who chose our side?
- Spare me the sentimentality.
You know what the truth is? You guys
ain't good enough to get one of theirs.
The decisions are made
in washington.
Our job, and your job,
is to execute them.
Execute, huh?
You got that right.
Patchenko is not
to know of this deal.
You keep him happy,
ignorant and alive
Till tomorrow
when the deal closes.
And he stays
in this room.
- Poor guy.
- Yeah.
Bad enough they gotta
send him back,
But they gotta lock him up
on his last night in america,
His last night
of freedom?
Who says he has
to be locked up?
The worm, carruthers.
Carruthers who?
Yeah, carruthers who?
Come on.
Let's go.
Hit it.
Look at the lights!
So many lights!
City that is never
to be sleeping.
America is
most wonderful place
In whole world.
I am never wanting
to go away from here.
All right, pauli, you
gonna tell me about it?
- About what, boss?
- About whatever's bothering you.
- What do you mean?
- What do you mean what do I mean?
You got about two pounds
of unfinished prime rib
Staring up at you
from your plate.
The last time that happened
was never. So what's wrong?
It's this abrams stuff.
I don't like it.
What? Come on.
You found him.
You've known
about it all along.
Yeah, but you said you
were gonna throw him a bone.
And now you got him
doing big things.
He don't fit in
with us, boss,
And I don't trust him.
Relax, pauli. I talked the
whole thing over with manny.
It's the way
of the world.
Crusading u.S. Attorneys,
They grow up to be
wealthy defense lawyers.
They work for us.
It was manny's idea to set
him up in his own practice.
We're completely
protected.
I don't understand
all this, boss.
The attorney/client
privilege.
Abrams can't use anything
that he hears or sees
Against us.
I'm sure abrams
is on the up and up.
He was born to the outfit.
He's always belonged to us.
he can help us.
He can't hurt us.
Hey, boss, you should see
if you can hire torello too.
- Don't forget to eat all your carrots.
- Yeah, okay.
They'll improve
your mind.
So you're working
late again, huh?
How's the weather
in washington?
A couple of hours
and I'm headed for vegas.
The a.G. Wants me to brief that
mig pilot on his civil rights.
I heard about him. So
you're coming my way, huh?
Look, I need a favor,
a big, big favor, aaron.
A guy named bouchard,
jack bouchard-
I need to see the department's file on him.
You mean, the guy that runs
golden dragon air freight?
That's the guy.
You got it.
I was gonna ask you to airmail
it, but since you're coming,
Why don't I just
meet your plane?
Sure, I guess so.
But I thought you stopped
working for your uncle.
- You're in private practice.
- That's right.
It's like I said-
it's a big, big favor.
I don't see why not.
Besides, if it wasn't for you,
I would have never made it
through contracts and torts.
That's great. It's been a
long time. I'll see you soon.
- Okay.
- Bye.
Danny, how do you tell a guy
You're sending him home
to get shot, huh?
What do you-
what do you say to him?
"thank you very much for
the plane. We'll take it.
But you, you poor slob, you're
expendable. You gotta go."
It's a damn shame,
you know.
I think it stinks.
Seven out, right away.
New shooter.
Place your bets. Place your
bets, ladies and gentlemen.
Mikhail,
Please to be lending
me, uh, dollars.
I want
to play cracks.
The word is "craps," ivan.
Craps.
Oh, yes, craps.
- You don't how to play anyway.
- I have been watching!
It's simple.
You blow on the dice,
You throw them, and then
they take your money,
And you say
dirty words.
I'm joking,
I'm joking.
I have been
watching.
I learn.
I know game.
- You think so, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
All right.
- Take a shot.
- Here here.
Let's do this right.
Here's another 40.
Ah! You are
good friend.
Yeah, I'm
a great friend.
Winner, winner.
Pay the line.
Thank you, sir.
Let it ride!
Coming up.
Same good shooter.
Come on, baby.
Trade me nine!
Winner, seven.
Game alive.
Whoa!
The buck stops here!
...Sure.
Whoa-ah!
Chrysler!
Hey, ivan!
What are you doing?
- It's magnificent.
- It's all right.
- How much for the car?
- She ain't for sale, partner.
- Oh, please please. I must have her.
- Come on, come on.
No. How much?
Whoa. 10 big ones.
- 10 big what?
- $10,000?
Get outta here, creep. The car
isn't worth $10,000. Come on.
- It's okay.
- It is to me.
It's okay. It's okay. We buy it.
And how much hat
for the cost?
- The hat I'll throw in for free.
- Oh!
Please don't
scratch the car.
Driving american car
- Is almost as much fun
as flying plane.
Ivan, how fast are
you going, man?
- You want me to go faster?
- No no, I want you to slow down.
Slow down?
In america,
I thought everybody
drives fast.
Ivan, red light!
- Very pretty.
whoa!
Ha! We having
some fun now!
- Ivan, pull the car over.
- Yeah.
- Come on. Pull over.
- All right, all right.
Don't get
your horses up.
Right here.
Yah-hh!
You hear?
Rock and roll!
get him!
Hello. My name
is frank holman,
And rock and roll
is my life.
yeah
be bop a lula
she's my baby
be bop a lula,
I don't mean maybe
be bop a lula,
she's my baby
be bop a lula,
I don't mean maybe
- ah-hh
- be bop a lula
she's my baby love...
- Fawna.
- my baby love, my baby love
she's the woman
in the red blue jeans
ah, she's the queen
of all the teens,
ah-ooh
she's the one woman
that I know
- ah-ooh
- she's the woman
that loves me so
be bop a lula,
she's my baby...
Hello there. I bet you thought
you never would see me again.
be bop a lula,
she's...
I am very serious
about you.
my baby love,
my baby love, let's rock!
I just want
to talk.
You are
so cute.
Come on now.
Hey man, you're kind of
interrupting the show.
Excusing me. I wanted to
say hello to my friend fawna.
do you know him?
Wait a minute. I can't
help but notice, man,
That you got a little bit
of an accent there, pal.
- You wouldn't be from out of town, would you?
- Yes,
But in my heart I have
always been vegas kind of guy.
Come here. I've seen you
someplace before, man.
- You're that pilot, ain't you?
- Da.
Yeah yeah.
What's your name, man?
Patchenko. Ivan ivanovitch patchenko.
Ivan. Hey,
ladies and gentlemen,
How about a nice
big round of applause
For a wacky kind
of vegas kind of guy
That flew out
of the iron curtain
And traded his ration stamps
for green stamps?
Let's hear it.
All right. Ivan, what do you
think of rock and roll, man?
Patchenko loves
rock and roll!
You wouldn't happen to know
the words to "what'd I say"?
Of course.
Mr. Charles ray.
That's it.
hey, mama, don't you
treat me wrong
you come and love your daddy all night long
oh yes, ma'am
hey hey
you don't
treat me right
hey hey...
Ivan!
she's the girl
with the diamond ring
she knows how
to shake that thing
oh, yeah
tell me what'd I say
tell me
what'd I say
you tell your mama,
you tell your pa
I'm gonna send you back
to arkansas oh, yes, ma'am
if you don't
treat me right
hey hey
- tell me what'd I say
- tell me what'd I say
tell me
what'd I say
- tell me what'd I say
- tell me what'd I say
- tell me what'd I say
- ahh, ahh
tell me
what'd I say
- ooh
- ooh
- ohh
- ohh
- huh
- huh
- ho
- ho
- huh, huh
- huh, huh
- tell me it's all right
- it's all right...
- Please.
- baby, it's all right...
Sit.
yeah, it's all right
- baby, it's all right
- tell me what'd I say...
I am vasi.
And you are?
Torello.
So, a coincidence that we run
into each other again tonight.
Yeah, a real coincidence.
- baby, shake that thing
- baby, shake that thing...
I was following you.
It is my job.
Like you,
I am a policeman.
- baby, shake that thing
- baby, shake that thing
baby, shake
that thing
- baby, shake that thing
- baby, shake that thing
you know what?
You're so good
you know,
I feel so good
you make me feel
so good, yeah
- yeah, I feel so good
- you make me feel so good...
What if he tries
to escape?
- hey hey...
- yes,
You would like him
to escape.
You don't like the deal
your people made.
If he goes back to the
soviet union, he's a dead man.
Wow! All right!
In my book, he hasn't
committed any crime.
He wants to live in a different country.
I don't see anything wrong with that.
- It's not my job to decide what's right and wrong.
- What is your job?
To make sure that the deal
made is implemented
And he will return
to the soviet union,
- Or- - tell me
what'd I say...
Or at least...
He does not live here.
tell me
what'd I say
tell me
what'd I say
you don't
treat me right
tell me
what'd I say.
Come here, man.
A big round of applause
for ivan! Yes!
More!
Yeah!
Come on, man.
What are you guys
waiting for?
Let's go backstage.
Come on.
Ivan, baby, you were
beautiful, man.
You're a superstar.
Hey, you may be
russian,
But you got american bandstand
flowing in your blood, man.
How'd you like
to come work for me?
- For you?
- Yeah, you'd become part of the act.
Lots of albums, chicks,
lots of money.
Get your face on the cover
of "teen throb" magazine.
- It'll be a gas, man. You can start tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
Yeah, tomorrow night, we open
at the versailles for the king.
The king?!
Where's that
russian cop, vasi?
He gave me the slip.
That's his car, mike.
hey!
I love weddings, man.
Hey, move over, baby.
No, no, no, sit down. Sit down.
- it's all right,
sweetheart. Sit down.
I'm gonna show you
something here, all right?
- Watch very closely.
- Mr. Holman, please.
- I have a lot of services to
perform and- - hey, man, look,
I'm laying down a groove.
This just isn't any old wedding.
This is a very special
wedding. This is the real thing.
- Hey, walter.
- Yeah?
Yeah. You ever been
to a russian wedding?
- No. Why?
- Well, you're about to.
You got that, sweetheart?
- I like that kind of music.
- Get in there.
It's so... So...
- Yes, it is, and we'll
talk about that later.
I got the bible, man.
Father, you stand right
over here, all right?
- I'm a baptist.
- Yeah, well, we all got our dues to pay.
Frankie,
I am to be thinking
I have no ring.
Ring. Uh...
Here you go.
No, frankie. It's such
a beautiful ring.
Oh no, man, keep it.
Didn't cost me nothin'.
Go on, father.
I got the bible.
Friends, we are
gathered here tonight
To join in the bonds
of holy matrimony
This man and this woman,
- Uh...
- Ivan and fawna.
Ivan and fawna.
If anyone knows
any reason
Why these two should not
be joined in matrimony,
- Let them speak now
or forever hold-
Aw, man,
bust my bubble.
Mikhail!
You are here.
You make me
very happy!
- Come, I make you my better man.
- Hold on just a second.
What kind of a cheap stunt are
you trying to pull off here?
Mike, cool out, man. I'm just
trying to help the cat out.
Take a walk. You never helped
anybody in your whole life.
You ever call me mike again, I'll
rip your eyes out of your head.
- You're making a mistake.
- No, it's no mistake. It's love.
The only thing these
people are interested in
Is the publicity they're
gonna get from you.
Come on. We have some stuff
that we have to talk about.
Come on, ivan,
it's for your own good.
- Come on.
- Mikhail, it's glorious day.
- Fawna and I are melting the colds war.
- Okay.
You can't do this!
Look at her!
- How can you take me away from that?
- He's got a point.
Ivan, the night is over.
It's not like you think.
We gotta talk.
Aw!
Hello, mr. Bouchard.
I told you boys then,
and I'm telling you now...
- Get out.
- Mr. Bouchard,
We'd like you to reconsider
our offer for a minute.
- We think we're in a position to help you out.
- Out of what?
You have major problems
with the I.R.S.
They're building
quite a case against you-
Tax evasion, nonpayment
of back taxes, fraud.
- Where'd you get this?
- That's not important.
What is important
is that we think
That golden dragon air freight's
a valuable enterprise.
We'd like to see you
hold onto the company
That you worked
so hard to build.
- This is blackmail.
- It certainly isn't blackmail. It's a damn good offer.
We'll pay your back taxes
and your fines.
We'll get you clear
with the I.R.S.
You'll keep the company
and business,
And you'll keep your good name
and your reputation.
And what don't I keep?
A controlling
interest
In golden dragon
air freight.
Ah.
Come, comrades. We go eat
big american breakfast-
French-fried toast.
- Sit down, ivan.
- I sit later. Eat now.
Sit down, ivan!
Mikhail, you are mad
with patchenko?
Look, there's no easy way
to tell you this.
You're going back.
You are making joke.
It's no joke, ivan.
You are promising me
not to be lying!
But you're just like
russian cop.
I'm sorry.
No!
This is United States
america!
You cannot do this!
The government, it cares about the people!
The police cannot be just taking
you away, doing what they want!
Mikhail,
You have beautiful
country here.
You have freedom,
Rock and roll.
These things are-
They are...
Gifts.
You cannot be just
sending me back.
It's not fair.
You're right, ivan.
It's not fair.
It's the government.
My wife elena...
She died
a long time ago.
So then I ask myself
"patchenko, why you
stay in russia?"
I have no wife,
no baby...
No freedom.
Since then,
I dream
One day I will
steal m-I-g
And come to...
America.
But now patchenko
know better.
Russia is lie.
America is lie.
Both the same.
Now I understand,
mikhail.
It's okay.
Well, I don't think
it's okay.
I don't think it's okay for
one lousy stinkin' damn minute.
- Do you think it's okay?
- Hell no!
You guys ever seen
"the keystone kops"?
Let's go.
I want you to know,
mikhail,
I think you're
pretty good guy-
For american cop.
- Well done, torello.
- Thank you. I'm sure-
- Get him!
- Stop!
What the hell's
going on?
Don't let him
get away!
Hey!
Get after him!
If that man isn't caught
within the next half hour,
You can look
for another line of work!
You are very clever,
But perhaps too clever,
For you see,
lieutenant torello,
There is only one way
we will allow patchenko
To stay
in this country.
Remember that, uh...
What was that case?
Is this guy gonna
show or what?
What goes, mike?
We got a tip saying
Patchenko's having a press
conference. Where is he?
You tell us. He were supposed
to be here to tell his story.
That's why all of this
was set up. We gotta run.
Patchenko's throwing us a
curve. Everybody on the street,
- When you find him, sit on him.
- Yeah.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
No no, excuse me.
I am missing the king.
Excuse me.
Sorry.
Mike, it's walter.
I trailed vasi to the
versailles. This place is packed.
- It's a mob scene out here.
- What's going on over there?
The king is in town.
All right, listen.
Everybody meet me
At the versailles
showroom.
Patchenko went to see
the king, and so did vasi.
be bop a lula,
I don't mean maybe
be bop a lula
she's my baby
be bop a lula,
I don't mean maybe
be bop a lula
she-e-e's my baby
love, my baby love
- my baby love...
Go for it, girls!
be bop a lula
she-e-e's
my baby love
my baby love,
my baby love
be bop a lula
she-e-e's
my baby love.
Oh, yeah!
All right, frankie!
Yeah! More!
Ladies and gentlemen,
the holmanettes!
Hey, ivan!
Ivan, baby!
Put a spotlight
on this man right here.
Right here.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a
celebrity in the house tonight.
I want to introduce you
to a wonderful entertainer,
A beautiful human being, and a
very, very dear friend of mine,
Ivan "the rockin'
russki" patchenko!
Hit it!
Come on up here, ivan.
Spasebo.
I love you!
We love you too.
I love everybody!
You and nate go inside. Find
patchenko. Get him out of there fast.
Joey, come on.
spasebo.
Hey.
Frankie.
Hey, I gotta ask you
a question, man.
What do you think
of the king?
What you think
I think of king?
All right.
Ivan, what do you say
- That you and I do a little tribute to the man?
- Sure.
- Patchenko loves to sing.
- Yeah, all right.
The king will be out a little bit
later to do some tunes of his own,
But we're gonna do
a little tune of his
That I know is one of his
personal favorites,
A tune called
"what'd I say."
hey, mama, don't you
treat me wrong
come and love your daddy
all night long
oh, yes, ma'am
hey hey
you don't
treat me right
hey hey
Ivan!
see the girl
with the diamond ring
she knows how to shake
that thing, oh, yeah-
Get down.
I'm a guest
in this country.
Traveling on
a diplomatic passport.
- You can't touch me.
- Right right.
get him out of here.
Hey, you, you keep
your big mouth shut
And do exactly
as I tell you to do,
Or you're gonna wind up
in a russian grave.
- Do you understand me?
- Da.
- Huh?
- Da.
Nice job, david.
- Thank you.
I think bouchard's gonna
enjoy an early retirement.
That's a mistake
in my opinion.
I'd keep him
on the board.
I think his expertise
will come in handy.
And a grateful employee
is always an asset.
Like you, david?
Yeah.
No matter what
you do to me,
I am never forgetting
this country.
Is still
wonderful place.
Did you learn your
manners from the k.G.B.?
- Mr. Patchenko!
- Mr. Patchenko!
- Can we get a statement?
- Let's move.
Mr. Patchenko, is it true
you're being sent back to russia?
Were you really the true
target of the k.G.B. Assassins?
- Who is responsible?
- This is classified information.
Answer us.
Of course
it's not true.
America not to be
sending me back.
Patchenko would be killed.
America would
not do that.
Could you clarify that?
Where are you going?
I go on very
special mission.
I go see president
in washington,
Then I go see the king.
Then I come back to vegas.
What will you discuss
with the president?
Are you on a mission
for your premier?
Is patchenko right?
Well...
Yes.
I suppose you
knew nothing
About any
of this either.
Who, us? What do we know?
We're just a bunch of coppers.
- Good night, chet.
- Good night, chet.
Good night, chet.
well, it's one for the money,
two for the show
three to get ready,
now go, cat, go
but don't you
step on my blue suede shoes
well, you can do
anything
but stay off
of my blue suede shoes
well, you can knock me
down, step on my face
slander my name
all over the place
well, do anything
that you want to do
but, uh-uh, honey,
lay off of them shoes
and don't you
step on my blue suede shoes
well, you can
do anything
but stay off of
my blue suede shoes
let's go, cats.
Boy, oh, boy,
I need one of these.
- For what?
- For my life.
How come we can't travel
in this kind of style?
'cause you don't sing
in the right key, kid.
In his statement,
the secretary of state announced
That a plan to exchange the american
u-2 pilot shot down over the soviet union
For two russian spies
is in the final stages.
He stressed again that there
never was a plan to exchange
The russian mig pilot, ivan
patchenko, for an american u-2 pilot.
Meanwhile, after a visit
with the president,
Pilot patchenko accepts
an invitation with a king-
The king of
rock and roll, that is.
My comrades!
Welcome!
It's good to see you!
- Hey!
- Hey!
How're
you doin'?
So good
to see you.
Uh, listen, we just...
We just dropped in
to say good luck
And goodbye.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
- So, patchenko, listen.
So what's
he really like?
Patchenko,
Will you come up here and help
me get this bird in the air?
We're going home
to graceland.
- He is great guy.
- Yeah?
But lousy flier.
See you later,
escalator.
- Okay, here I come.
- lay off of my blue suede shoes.
for the money
two for the show,
three to be getting ready
now go, cat, go
and not to
be stepping
on my blue
suede shoes.
Hello, colonel patchenko.
Welcome to america.
We've been looking
all over for you. Over.
Hello there, yourself.
You're a little off your flight plan
there. So how about executing a 180
And parking your bird at edwards air
force base like you're supposed to?
I am changing
flight plan.
Hold on, colonel.
You can't do that.
We've got the cia debriefing
committee waiting at edwards.
Then they will
have to be waiting.
Patchenko did not
defect to talk to boring
Intelligence bureaucrats
and boring peasant.
Say again there, colonel?
I spit on
boring peasant.
I'm sorry, colonel.
That's a negative.
We're here to escort you
to edwards.
But first
you must catch me,
Yes?
That commie's gone
supersonic and crazy.
Man, am I gonna
love this.
No guns, no wiseguys,
no neon lights.
Yes, sir, buddy.
All we need now is
the bait and the beer.
Nothing but rainbow trout and fresh air.
What the hell
was that?
Unidentified aircraft,
mccarran airport.
Please identify yourself
and say intentions. Over.
mccarran airport.
This is colonel ivan
ivanovitch patchenko
Of the soviet air ministry
at your service.
Please to be landing,
mccarran.
Unidentified aircraft,
mccarran airfield.
Say type aircraft
and identify yourself.
It's a mig.
Excuse me, please,
but I am having slight problem.
My plane is out of fuel
And, unless I am
landing right now,
I am to be crashing into
large hotel below. Over.
Aircraft calling mccarran,
are you declaring an emergency?
Never mind,
mccarran airport.
I am seeing runway now.
Thanks, anyway. Over and out.
Unidentified aircraft,
mccarran field.
Landing is unauthorized.
Whew!
Well, america,
here I am.
Viva las vegas!
as I walk along
I wonder
what went wrong
with our lives
lives
that were so strong
and as I
still walk on
I think
of the things
we've done together
while our hearts
were young
I'm a-walking
in the rain
tears are falling
and I feel the pain
watching
all the players go by
some live
and others die
and I wonder
I wah-wah-wah-wah
wonder
why
why, why,
why, why, why
I don't walk away
and I wonder
what makes me stay
runaway
run, run, run, run,
runaway.
His name is
ivan patchenko.
His defection
with the mig 15
Is the culmination
of two years of planning.
It's a very big operation,
including two midair refuelings.
How come you people from the cia
aren't handling all of this stuff?
Cia is on the way.
I'm n.S.A.
N.S.A., n.B.C.
- What's the difference?
He wasn't supposed
to land here.
The plan was for him to end
up at edwards air force base.
- So what happened?
- He said it was too boring.
- Great.
- Let's just say
That colonel patchenko is not
exactly your typical russian pilot.
You are to be getting
mr. Sammy davis.
But I explained
he's away on tour.
Then call
mr. Dino martin.
Bishop, joey.
Is this guy a pilot
or a talent agent?
You are the people
from "life" magazine?
This is lieutenant
torello, sergeant krychek.
- They'll be your security guards while you're in vegas.
- What?
My own bodyguards,
like kruschev.
No. Forget about it. We got a
date with some rainbow trout.
Wrong. You're temporarily assigned to me
- Till further notice.
- Yeah? Wait.
- Says who?
- Says your boss in washington, bill hallahan.
Oh, he's gonna owe us
big time for this.
Okay, where is king?
this is a democracy.
We don't have a king.
He means elvis presley
the singer.
He's not just singer.
- He's king
of rock and roll.
He'd like to meet
some american women as well.
Da. Are you out of your mind?
We're not
an escort service.
Patchenko is to be
understanding english.
Well, that's good. That's real
good. You're out of your mind.
You are right.
Patchenko is
out of his mind.
He is forgetting future soviet
troop movements in europe,
Technical information
about m-I-g 15.
Patchenko was to be
soviet defective,
But now he is
Out of his... Mind.
Goodbye, please.
This guy reminds me
of a russian frank holman.
Try to be
a little diplomatic.
The man is a potential
intelligence goldmine.
This guy has about as much
intelligence value as a bowl of borscht.
You are always speaking
what is on your mind?
- Yeah.
- I am liking it.
To be saying
what you are thinking...
Must be wonderful thing.
We make deal, okay?
You don't have to be
friend to me,
But you are never
lying to me, okay?
Yeah, sure.
Why not?
Also...
I saw "ocean's 11"
in berlin.
I say, "patchenko,
Vegas is your
kind of town."
Hmm?
We got 32 planes.
We got routes
all over the far east-
Hong kong,
japan, formosa,
The philippines.
It's a nice setup.
I'm very impressed.
Yeah, I'm proud
of the company.
It took a lot of hard work and
sweat to make it what she is today.
You want to finish
that off, jeff?
And I am real
flattered
That you'd like to buy
into golden dragon,
Mister, uh, luca?
It's just that I ain't
interested in a partner.
You haven't even
heard my offer yet.
Mr. Bouchard,
our research tells us
That the book value
on the golden dragon
Is between
10 and 12 million.
We're willing
to offer you 15.
Ooh! 15 million.
Kind of makes
your head spin.
A man could retire and live quite
a life with that kind of money.
Not bad for a fellow
who started out
As a montana
cowboy, huh?
The trouble is
I'm not
the retiring type.
I'm the kind of guy
who dies in his saddle.
Mr. Bouchard,
what we're offering
Is not just
an infusion of capital.
It's an infusion
of fresh blood.
I'm sure you are,
but the fact is, boys,
You're whistling up
the wrong tree.
If you want to buy
an air freight company,
You're going to have
to look elsewhere.
If you fellows
will excuse me,
I got a company to run.
- Waste of time.
- Don't be so sure.
It just means
we stop making nice
And we start
playing hardball.
It's amazing!
Unbelieving-able.
So many
to choose from.
You got your craps.
You got your roulette.
And you got your blackjack.
You got your poker.
- No no.
- Okay, you got your keno. You got your slots.
No no no,
there.
Those are showgirls,
big guy.
They all come in here
for breakfast.
There's amy and hilda
from the crystal palace.
Brooke from the golden
lady, the fields twins.
- They dance at the-
- you dirty dogs.
You have the field
covered, huh?
He does.
She's prettiest thing
on earth.
Hello!
- How are you? Nice to see you.
Excuse me, please.
- May I ask your name?
- Fawna.
Is most beautiful
name on planet,
And you are most
beautiful creature.
And I, colonel ivan
ivanovitch patchenko
Of the vladivostok
and soviet air ministry
Hockey team,
I know.
I was put on earth
only for this moment
When our eyes are meeting
across this crowded room
And we are falling
in love for the ever.
What is this? Some kind
of obnoxious lounge act?
Aw!
Mike, carruthers called
headquarters.
He wants us to bring patchenko
to the federal building right now.
A russian delegation from the
soviet consulate in san francisco
Has arrived to talk
to patchenko.
They just want to make sure you're
not being held here against your will.
...Carruthers.
Vasi.
Ivan.
There's something
you should know.
Our government is talking
a deal with the soviets.
The idea is to trade patchenko
for the u-2 pilot of ours
That was shot down over
the soviet union last month.
You know what they do to defectors?
Patchenko's gonna get shot
- And dumped in the snow.
- Patchenko's unimportant.
We have the mig. There's very
little else of value he can tell us,
But his presence here allows
us to trade a pawn for a knight.
- Very smart politics.
Hold on a second.
We want to get that pilot
back as much as you do,
But I think it stinks.
Patchenko came here
to america for his freedom,
And now you're gonna turn him
back to a russian firing squad?
Why don't you trade
someone you captured?
They've got our u-2 pilot.
Why don't you trade
Some pilot or some spy
that you captured,
- Not patchenko who chose our side?
- Spare me the sentimentality.
You know what the truth is? You guys
ain't good enough to get one of theirs.
The decisions are made
in washington.
Our job, and your job,
is to execute them.
Execute, huh?
You got that right.
Patchenko is not
to know of this deal.
You keep him happy,
ignorant and alive
Till tomorrow
when the deal closes.
And he stays
in this room.
- Poor guy.
- Yeah.
Bad enough they gotta
send him back,
But they gotta lock him up
on his last night in america,
His last night
of freedom?
Who says he has
to be locked up?
The worm, carruthers.
Carruthers who?
Yeah, carruthers who?
Come on.
Let's go.
Hit it.
Look at the lights!
So many lights!
City that is never
to be sleeping.
America is
most wonderful place
In whole world.
I am never wanting
to go away from here.
All right, pauli, you
gonna tell me about it?
- About what, boss?
- About whatever's bothering you.
- What do you mean?
- What do you mean what do I mean?
You got about two pounds
of unfinished prime rib
Staring up at you
from your plate.
The last time that happened
was never. So what's wrong?
It's this abrams stuff.
I don't like it.
What? Come on.
You found him.
You've known
about it all along.
Yeah, but you said you
were gonna throw him a bone.
And now you got him
doing big things.
He don't fit in
with us, boss,
And I don't trust him.
Relax, pauli. I talked the
whole thing over with manny.
It's the way
of the world.
Crusading u.S. Attorneys,
They grow up to be
wealthy defense lawyers.
They work for us.
It was manny's idea to set
him up in his own practice.
We're completely
protected.
I don't understand
all this, boss.
The attorney/client
privilege.
Abrams can't use anything
that he hears or sees
Against us.
I'm sure abrams
is on the up and up.
He was born to the outfit.
He's always belonged to us.
he can help us.
He can't hurt us.
Hey, boss, you should see
if you can hire torello too.
- Don't forget to eat all your carrots.
- Yeah, okay.
They'll improve
your mind.
So you're working
late again, huh?
How's the weather
in washington?
A couple of hours
and I'm headed for vegas.
The a.G. Wants me to brief that
mig pilot on his civil rights.
I heard about him. So
you're coming my way, huh?
Look, I need a favor,
a big, big favor, aaron.
A guy named bouchard,
jack bouchard-
I need to see the department's file on him.
You mean, the guy that runs
golden dragon air freight?
That's the guy.
You got it.
I was gonna ask you to airmail
it, but since you're coming,
Why don't I just
meet your plane?
Sure, I guess so.
But I thought you stopped
working for your uncle.
- You're in private practice.
- That's right.
It's like I said-
it's a big, big favor.
I don't see why not.
Besides, if it wasn't for you,
I would have never made it
through contracts and torts.
That's great. It's been a
long time. I'll see you soon.
- Okay.
- Bye.
Danny, how do you tell a guy
You're sending him home
to get shot, huh?
What do you-
what do you say to him?
"thank you very much for
the plane. We'll take it.
But you, you poor slob, you're
expendable. You gotta go."
It's a damn shame,
you know.
I think it stinks.
Seven out, right away.
New shooter.
Place your bets. Place your
bets, ladies and gentlemen.
Mikhail,
Please to be lending
me, uh, dollars.
I want
to play cracks.
The word is "craps," ivan.
Craps.
Oh, yes, craps.
- You don't how to play anyway.
- I have been watching!
It's simple.
You blow on the dice,
You throw them, and then
they take your money,
And you say
dirty words.
I'm joking,
I'm joking.
I have been
watching.
I learn.
I know game.
- You think so, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
All right.
- Take a shot.
- Here here.
Let's do this right.
Here's another 40.
Ah! You are
good friend.
Yeah, I'm
a great friend.
Winner, winner.
Pay the line.
Thank you, sir.
Let it ride!
Coming up.
Same good shooter.
Come on, baby.
Trade me nine!
Winner, seven.
Game alive.
Whoa!
The buck stops here!
...Sure.
Whoa-ah!
Chrysler!
Hey, ivan!
What are you doing?
- It's magnificent.
- It's all right.
- How much for the car?
- She ain't for sale, partner.
- Oh, please please. I must have her.
- Come on, come on.
No. How much?
Whoa. 10 big ones.
- 10 big what?
- $10,000?
Get outta here, creep. The car
isn't worth $10,000. Come on.
- It's okay.
- It is to me.
It's okay. It's okay. We buy it.
And how much hat
for the cost?
- The hat I'll throw in for free.
- Oh!
Please don't
scratch the car.
Driving american car
- Is almost as much fun
as flying plane.
Ivan, how fast are
you going, man?
- You want me to go faster?
- No no, I want you to slow down.
Slow down?
In america,
I thought everybody
drives fast.
Ivan, red light!
- Very pretty.
whoa!
Ha! We having
some fun now!
- Ivan, pull the car over.
- Yeah.
- Come on. Pull over.
- All right, all right.
Don't get
your horses up.
Right here.
Yah-hh!
You hear?
Rock and roll!
get him!
Hello. My name
is frank holman,
And rock and roll
is my life.
yeah
be bop a lula
she's my baby
be bop a lula,
I don't mean maybe
be bop a lula,
she's my baby
be bop a lula,
I don't mean maybe
- ah-hh
- be bop a lula
she's my baby love...
- Fawna.
- my baby love, my baby love
she's the woman
in the red blue jeans
ah, she's the queen
of all the teens,
ah-ooh
she's the one woman
that I know
- ah-ooh
- she's the woman
that loves me so
be bop a lula,
she's my baby...
Hello there. I bet you thought
you never would see me again.
be bop a lula,
she's...
I am very serious
about you.
my baby love,
my baby love, let's rock!
I just want
to talk.
You are
so cute.
Come on now.
Hey man, you're kind of
interrupting the show.
Excusing me. I wanted to
say hello to my friend fawna.
do you know him?
Wait a minute. I can't
help but notice, man,
That you got a little bit
of an accent there, pal.
- You wouldn't be from out of town, would you?
- Yes,
But in my heart I have
always been vegas kind of guy.
Come here. I've seen you
someplace before, man.
- You're that pilot, ain't you?
- Da.
Yeah yeah.
What's your name, man?
Patchenko. Ivan ivanovitch patchenko.
Ivan. Hey,
ladies and gentlemen,
How about a nice
big round of applause
For a wacky kind
of vegas kind of guy
That flew out
of the iron curtain
And traded his ration stamps
for green stamps?
Let's hear it.
All right. Ivan, what do you
think of rock and roll, man?
Patchenko loves
rock and roll!
You wouldn't happen to know
the words to "what'd I say"?
Of course.
Mr. Charles ray.
That's it.
hey, mama, don't you
treat me wrong
you come and love your daddy all night long
oh yes, ma'am
hey hey
you don't
treat me right
hey hey...
Ivan!
she's the girl
with the diamond ring
she knows how
to shake that thing
oh, yeah
tell me what'd I say
tell me
what'd I say
you tell your mama,
you tell your pa
I'm gonna send you back
to arkansas oh, yes, ma'am
if you don't
treat me right
hey hey
- tell me what'd I say
- tell me what'd I say
tell me
what'd I say
- tell me what'd I say
- tell me what'd I say
- tell me what'd I say
- ahh, ahh
tell me
what'd I say
- ooh
- ooh
- ohh
- ohh
- huh
- huh
- ho
- ho
- huh, huh
- huh, huh
- tell me it's all right
- it's all right...
- Please.
- baby, it's all right...
Sit.
yeah, it's all right
- baby, it's all right
- tell me what'd I say...
I am vasi.
And you are?
Torello.
So, a coincidence that we run
into each other again tonight.
Yeah, a real coincidence.
- baby, shake that thing
- baby, shake that thing...
I was following you.
It is my job.
Like you,
I am a policeman.
- baby, shake that thing
- baby, shake that thing
baby, shake
that thing
- baby, shake that thing
- baby, shake that thing
you know what?
You're so good
you know,
I feel so good
you make me feel
so good, yeah
- yeah, I feel so good
- you make me feel so good...
What if he tries
to escape?
- hey hey...
- yes,
You would like him
to escape.
You don't like the deal
your people made.
If he goes back to the
soviet union, he's a dead man.
Wow! All right!
In my book, he hasn't
committed any crime.
He wants to live in a different country.
I don't see anything wrong with that.
- It's not my job to decide what's right and wrong.
- What is your job?
To make sure that the deal
made is implemented
And he will return
to the soviet union,
- Or- - tell me
what'd I say...
Or at least...
He does not live here.
tell me
what'd I say
tell me
what'd I say
you don't
treat me right
tell me
what'd I say.
Come here, man.
A big round of applause
for ivan! Yes!
More!
Yeah!
Come on, man.
What are you guys
waiting for?
Let's go backstage.
Come on.
Ivan, baby, you were
beautiful, man.
You're a superstar.
Hey, you may be
russian,
But you got american bandstand
flowing in your blood, man.
How'd you like
to come work for me?
- For you?
- Yeah, you'd become part of the act.
Lots of albums, chicks,
lots of money.
Get your face on the cover
of "teen throb" magazine.
- It'll be a gas, man. You can start tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
Yeah, tomorrow night, we open
at the versailles for the king.
The king?!
Where's that
russian cop, vasi?
He gave me the slip.
That's his car, mike.
hey!
I love weddings, man.
Hey, move over, baby.
No, no, no, sit down. Sit down.
- it's all right,
sweetheart. Sit down.
I'm gonna show you
something here, all right?
- Watch very closely.
- Mr. Holman, please.
- I have a lot of services to
perform and- - hey, man, look,
I'm laying down a groove.
This just isn't any old wedding.
This is a very special
wedding. This is the real thing.
- Hey, walter.
- Yeah?
Yeah. You ever been
to a russian wedding?
- No. Why?
- Well, you're about to.
You got that, sweetheart?
- I like that kind of music.
- Get in there.
It's so... So...
- Yes, it is, and we'll
talk about that later.
I got the bible, man.
Father, you stand right
over here, all right?
- I'm a baptist.
- Yeah, well, we all got our dues to pay.
Frankie,
I am to be thinking
I have no ring.
Ring. Uh...
Here you go.
No, frankie. It's such
a beautiful ring.
Oh no, man, keep it.
Didn't cost me nothin'.
Go on, father.
I got the bible.
Friends, we are
gathered here tonight
To join in the bonds
of holy matrimony
This man and this woman,
- Uh...
- Ivan and fawna.
Ivan and fawna.
If anyone knows
any reason
Why these two should not
be joined in matrimony,
- Let them speak now
or forever hold-
Aw, man,
bust my bubble.
Mikhail!
You are here.
You make me
very happy!
- Come, I make you my better man.
- Hold on just a second.
What kind of a cheap stunt are
you trying to pull off here?
Mike, cool out, man. I'm just
trying to help the cat out.
Take a walk. You never helped
anybody in your whole life.
You ever call me mike again, I'll
rip your eyes out of your head.
- You're making a mistake.
- No, it's no mistake. It's love.
The only thing these
people are interested in
Is the publicity they're
gonna get from you.
Come on. We have some stuff
that we have to talk about.
Come on, ivan,
it's for your own good.
- Come on.
- Mikhail, it's glorious day.
- Fawna and I are melting the colds war.
- Okay.
You can't do this!
Look at her!
- How can you take me away from that?
- He's got a point.
Ivan, the night is over.
It's not like you think.
We gotta talk.
Aw!
Hello, mr. Bouchard.
I told you boys then,
and I'm telling you now...
- Get out.
- Mr. Bouchard,
We'd like you to reconsider
our offer for a minute.
- We think we're in a position to help you out.
- Out of what?
You have major problems
with the I.R.S.
They're building
quite a case against you-
Tax evasion, nonpayment
of back taxes, fraud.
- Where'd you get this?
- That's not important.
What is important
is that we think
That golden dragon air freight's
a valuable enterprise.
We'd like to see you
hold onto the company
That you worked
so hard to build.
- This is blackmail.
- It certainly isn't blackmail. It's a damn good offer.
We'll pay your back taxes
and your fines.
We'll get you clear
with the I.R.S.
You'll keep the company
and business,
And you'll keep your good name
and your reputation.
And what don't I keep?
A controlling
interest
In golden dragon
air freight.
Ah.
Come, comrades. We go eat
big american breakfast-
French-fried toast.
- Sit down, ivan.
- I sit later. Eat now.
Sit down, ivan!
Mikhail, you are mad
with patchenko?
Look, there's no easy way
to tell you this.
You're going back.
You are making joke.
It's no joke, ivan.
You are promising me
not to be lying!
But you're just like
russian cop.
I'm sorry.
No!
This is United States
america!
You cannot do this!
The government, it cares about the people!
The police cannot be just taking
you away, doing what they want!
Mikhail,
You have beautiful
country here.
You have freedom,
Rock and roll.
These things are-
They are...
Gifts.
You cannot be just
sending me back.
It's not fair.
You're right, ivan.
It's not fair.
It's the government.
My wife elena...
She died
a long time ago.
So then I ask myself
"patchenko, why you
stay in russia?"
I have no wife,
no baby...
No freedom.
Since then,
I dream
One day I will
steal m-I-g
And come to...
America.
But now patchenko
know better.
Russia is lie.
America is lie.
Both the same.
Now I understand,
mikhail.
It's okay.
Well, I don't think
it's okay.
I don't think it's okay for
one lousy stinkin' damn minute.
- Do you think it's okay?
- Hell no!
You guys ever seen
"the keystone kops"?
Let's go.
I want you to know,
mikhail,
I think you're
pretty good guy-
For american cop.
- Well done, torello.
- Thank you. I'm sure-
- Get him!
- Stop!
What the hell's
going on?
Don't let him
get away!
Hey!
Get after him!
If that man isn't caught
within the next half hour,
You can look
for another line of work!
You are very clever,
But perhaps too clever,
For you see,
lieutenant torello,
There is only one way
we will allow patchenko
To stay
in this country.
Remember that, uh...
What was that case?
Is this guy gonna
show or what?
What goes, mike?
We got a tip saying
Patchenko's having a press
conference. Where is he?
You tell us. He were supposed
to be here to tell his story.
That's why all of this
was set up. We gotta run.
Patchenko's throwing us a
curve. Everybody on the street,
- When you find him, sit on him.
- Yeah.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
No no, excuse me.
I am missing the king.
Excuse me.
Sorry.
Mike, it's walter.
I trailed vasi to the
versailles. This place is packed.
- It's a mob scene out here.
- What's going on over there?
The king is in town.
All right, listen.
Everybody meet me
At the versailles
showroom.
Patchenko went to see
the king, and so did vasi.
be bop a lula,
I don't mean maybe
be bop a lula
she's my baby
be bop a lula,
I don't mean maybe
be bop a lula
she-e-e's my baby
love, my baby love
- my baby love...
Go for it, girls!
be bop a lula
she-e-e's
my baby love
my baby love,
my baby love
be bop a lula
she-e-e's
my baby love.
Oh, yeah!
All right, frankie!
Yeah! More!
Ladies and gentlemen,
the holmanettes!
Hey, ivan!
Ivan, baby!
Put a spotlight
on this man right here.
Right here.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a
celebrity in the house tonight.
I want to introduce you
to a wonderful entertainer,
A beautiful human being, and a
very, very dear friend of mine,
Ivan "the rockin'
russki" patchenko!
Hit it!
Come on up here, ivan.
Spasebo.
I love you!
We love you too.
I love everybody!
You and nate go inside. Find
patchenko. Get him out of there fast.
Joey, come on.
spasebo.
Hey.
Frankie.
Hey, I gotta ask you
a question, man.
What do you think
of the king?
What you think
I think of king?
All right.
Ivan, what do you say
- That you and I do a little tribute to the man?
- Sure.
- Patchenko loves to sing.
- Yeah, all right.
The king will be out a little bit
later to do some tunes of his own,
But we're gonna do
a little tune of his
That I know is one of his
personal favorites,
A tune called
"what'd I say."
hey, mama, don't you
treat me wrong
come and love your daddy
all night long
oh, yes, ma'am
hey hey
you don't
treat me right
hey hey
Ivan!
see the girl
with the diamond ring
she knows how to shake
that thing, oh, yeah-
Get down.
I'm a guest
in this country.
Traveling on
a diplomatic passport.
- You can't touch me.
- Right right.
get him out of here.
Hey, you, you keep
your big mouth shut
And do exactly
as I tell you to do,
Or you're gonna wind up
in a russian grave.
- Do you understand me?
- Da.
- Huh?
- Da.
Nice job, david.
- Thank you.
I think bouchard's gonna
enjoy an early retirement.
That's a mistake
in my opinion.
I'd keep him
on the board.
I think his expertise
will come in handy.
And a grateful employee
is always an asset.
Like you, david?
Yeah.
No matter what
you do to me,
I am never forgetting
this country.
Is still
wonderful place.
Did you learn your
manners from the k.G.B.?
- Mr. Patchenko!
- Mr. Patchenko!
- Can we get a statement?
- Let's move.
Mr. Patchenko, is it true
you're being sent back to russia?
Were you really the true
target of the k.G.B. Assassins?
- Who is responsible?
- This is classified information.
Answer us.
Of course
it's not true.
America not to be
sending me back.
Patchenko would be killed.
America would
not do that.
Could you clarify that?
Where are you going?
I go on very
special mission.
I go see president
in washington,
Then I go see the king.
Then I come back to vegas.
What will you discuss
with the president?
Are you on a mission
for your premier?
Is patchenko right?
Well...
Yes.
I suppose you
knew nothing
About any
of this either.
Who, us? What do we know?
We're just a bunch of coppers.
- Good night, chet.
- Good night, chet.
Good night, chet.
well, it's one for the money,
two for the show
three to get ready,
now go, cat, go
but don't you
step on my blue suede shoes
well, you can do
anything
but stay off
of my blue suede shoes
well, you can knock me
down, step on my face
slander my name
all over the place
well, do anything
that you want to do
but, uh-uh, honey,
lay off of them shoes
and don't you
step on my blue suede shoes
well, you can
do anything
but stay off of
my blue suede shoes
let's go, cats.
Boy, oh, boy,
I need one of these.
- For what?
- For my life.
How come we can't travel
in this kind of style?
'cause you don't sing
in the right key, kid.
In his statement,
the secretary of state announced
That a plan to exchange the american
u-2 pilot shot down over the soviet union
For two russian spies
is in the final stages.
He stressed again that there
never was a plan to exchange
The russian mig pilot, ivan
patchenko, for an american u-2 pilot.
Meanwhile, after a visit
with the president,
Pilot patchenko accepts
an invitation with a king-
The king of
rock and roll, that is.
My comrades!
Welcome!
It's good to see you!
- Hey!
- Hey!
How're
you doin'?
So good
to see you.
Uh, listen, we just...
We just dropped in
to say good luck
And goodbye.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
- So, patchenko, listen.
So what's
he really like?
Patchenko,
Will you come up here and help
me get this bird in the air?
We're going home
to graceland.
- He is great guy.
- Yeah?
But lousy flier.
See you later,
escalator.
- Okay, here I come.
- lay off of my blue suede shoes.