Cowboy Bebop (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Episode #1.7 - full transcript

You ever double dinner?

Does it involve two dinners?

Or three.

Sounds like
one too many dinner guests to me.

Life's short.
Why not have a dinner party?

I'm but a simple man.

With simple tastes.

Still with the migraines?

Eight days and counting.

My head feels like
an Astral Gate explosion.

You know what you need?



Less noise?

The big "O."

Nature's cure. I speak from experience.

Recent experience.

And the experts agree.

- Yeah, looks scientific.
- Mmm.

You know what I've come to realize

flipping through
all of this fine literature?

Don't care.

I've been spending
way too much time limiting myself.

Life's a buffet.

I thought it was a dinner party.

Yeah, whatever it is, I'm ready to eat.

Listen, not to upend your, uh...



Your journey.

But, uh, you know
that's not real, right? It's fantasy.

What I can't tell is real is
whether or not I'm into butts or boobs.

I like bubble butts. Hmm...

Bubble butts are nice,
but not as nice as these little rascals.

Yeah, yeah, I'm a boob gal, for sure.

And what's this position? Blorking?

Yuck!

- I'm going back to bed.
- Sleep tight!

I'll be reading up
on pontooning and zero grav.

Ooh, I want to pontoon.

Uh, excuse me.

Hello, darlin'.

Miss me?

Okay.

You get that one for free.

You've got some brass ovaries
coming in here after everything you did!

I need a lift.

Really? What?

Off planet.

You... You want me to be
your interstellar taxi service now?

In exchange for your Identikit?
Absolutely.

Don't even try to pretend
that you don't want it.

- Where?
- Santo City.

In a hurry. I need my go-bag
with extreme prejudice.

Oh. What did you do?
Pretend to be someone else's mother?

Believe it or not, my world doesn't
revolve around my freeze-dried progeny.

But if you help me get to Santo,

you just might find out
what happened to your real parents.

You should know
I've been crewing with cowboys,

and last I remember,
there's a fat-ass bounty on your head.

It is quite a lot.

But why would your cowboy friends even
think to look up your dear old mother?

So you want me to lie to them?

Not lie. Never!

Tell stories. Nice stories.

Really? You're Faye's mom?

Yeah, so she claims.

I always thought you were
hatched in a madman's lab.

She is something else,
isn't she?

Aw. I've been so worried about
my baby running around with a gun.

Thank God she has you two for backup.

Backup, huh?

Migraine?

Yeah.

What's that? What's...

Oh!

Son of a mother.

- How did you...
- Oh, your posture.

I could tell you had a kink in your neck
and neck pain can lead to migraines.

I used to be a masseuse.
For a Dionysian sulfur spa on Tharsis.

- I think I love you, Miss, uh...
- Whitney.

Whitney. Enchanté.

Hey, so my mom was wondering
if we could give her a ride to Santo City.

Ah, no can do. Ship's grounded
until after Kimmie's recital.

You have a child?

- How old?
- She just turned eight.

Oh, children are such a gift
and so sweet at that age.

Enjoy it.

Because when the hormones hit,
everything changes.

Jet, you know, if we leave now,

we can get to Santo City
in plenty of time for the recital.

No, Faye, it's fine.

I can't ask a father
to miss his daughter's recital

just to help me
with my personal problems. I'll survive.

Hopefully.

Well, that...

That begs a follow-up.

You see,

I'm on the lam...

from my husband.

Faye's dad?

No, he was many husbands ago,
God rest his soul.

I make beautiful babies,
but my taste in men,

not so much.

This one is a womanizer
and degenerate gambler.

He basically turned my life
into a bad country song.

Broken heart,

pocket full of bills.

And, uh, he was just awful to Faye.

Isn't that right, honey?

Oh, yeah.
He made lots of creepy eyes at me.

Jet, Santo does have
the best comms infrastructure of any city.

What? I've got a soft spot for mommies.

You're a sick man, Spike Spiegel.

- Don't be lewd. I'm talking about mothers.
- Mmm-hmm.

Motherhood. It's a lovely calling.
Mommies make the pain go away.

I bet.

Wow. Look at all these peppers.

You know, I have an amazing
roast pepper dumpling recipe.

Got it from a rogue monk
on the far side of Trident.

Faye's favorite growing up.
Isn't that right, darling?

Ah, sure was.

Jet, man, we've got plenty of time
to get to Santo before the recital.

Do it for Faye.

Fine, forget Faye.
Do it for the dumplings.

All right.

I'll take you to Santo,
but I want that recipe.

With pleasure.

Fins up in five.

Get us prepped topside.

Dumplings for dinner.

See?

Everybody loves a nice story.

A theremin?

Look,
before you pass any judgment...

We might as well hire a magician
in a bow tie and coattails

to saw a man in half.

Okay, reading that as a hard no
on the theremin...

He's alive?

He's alive and you didn't tell me?

Who's alive?

Don't play coy.

When have you ever been nostalgic?

Okay, um...

I'm gonna give you two a moment.

- How long have you known?
- Not long.

- So he's just out there? In the world?
- As far as I know.

- Where?
- Didn't say.

Just that he works as a cowboy.
Goes by Spike Spiegel.

Did he ask about me?

What do you think?

You should have told me.

I could have gone to him.

To what end?

Weren't you the one telling me,
in this very office,

that I should leave Vicious?

Not like this.

That I had a choice?

Vicious knows Spike is alive.

And he is not gonna stop hunting him
until one of the two of them is dead.

If you run to him, you're gonna
spend the rest of your life running,

looking over your shoulder,
wondering when Vicious' blade will come.

Who's to say that won't happen if I stay?

Whoa!

Yeah.

Make sure you have
a super hot wok

with just a dash of fish oil.

Be careful not to overcook. And the key...

The key is to caramelize the peppers.

- A woman after my own heart.
- Please.

- Smells amazing.
- Yeah.

- Is that ginger?
- Let me have a taste.

Oh...

Oh.

- Oh, like heaven in the mouth, isn't it?
- God, let me have more of that.

Pretty cheap definition of heaven,
if you ask me.

Mmm.

Faye, darling. Um...

Let's see if we can find
that last secret ingredient.

Sure, Mother.

You can really taste the ginger.

I know. It's spicy.

Do you want your Identikit or not?

Do you even still have it?
I haven't seen you in years.

You know, it's starting to feel
like the con all over again.

Something's off.
Look at Faye's body language.

Mmm-hmm.

- You know, arms crossed, defensive.
- Right.

- Like she's cornered or something.
- Mmm-hmm.

What do you think that's about?

Who understands the vagaries and minutiae
of the mother-daughter relationship?

Not me.

Aw. You're jealous.

The boys adore me, and of course they do.
What's not to adore?

That you're a fucking liar
and I should turn you in.

Try these panties on.

If I'm locked up, you can French kiss

all hopes of ever knowing
your past goodbye.

I don't know.

Do they really look related?

I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.

Fine.

The jig is up.

A twist of lemon is what makes the magic.

So, Whitney, what was Faye like as a kid?

A delight, and a terror.

She ever tell you
about her, uh, one-woman band?

Her botched quinceañera?

When she auditioned
for the Miss Ganymede pageant?

What? You never told me
you were from Ganymede.

I'm a Salter. Ha!

Oh.

I thought you were from Europa.

- No, I moved there for my ex-wife.
- Ah.

Where did you go to high school?

- She was homeschooled.
- Explaining much.

And on that note, who wants to eat?

I do!

She's right, you know.

If you go to Fearless,
you'll never be safe.

Ana's not
the only one in the building

who listens in
on other people's conversations.

You'll never be safe from Vicious.

At least, not while he's still alive.

You could just let it go.

There is bliss in ignorance.

Yeah. I'll be happier once I know.

How happy are you now?

Shit!

That is an impressive rap sheet.

I think I might actually
like her even more.

She's a goddamn con artist.

- Either Faye's getting taken or...
- Or she's in on it.

Ah, shit.

Here's the thing.

I don't know Whitney. Or...

All right, I do know Whitney but...

She got me out of cryo-sleep
pretending to be my mom.

The whole thing was a scam. I swear.

Jesus, Faye. Can the crap.

I really thought that she was my mom.

Uh, how could you not know?

Because I have amnesia.

It can happen if you've been
in cryo-sleep for too long.

Everything that happened before I woke up,

basically my entire life,
I don't remember.

So you have brain damage?

No!

I mean, yes.

I don't know, dick-wad!

All I know is that when I woke up,
I didn't remember who I was,

where I was from, or why I was there.

I didn't even know my own name.

So that's the scam.

Whitney wakes up amnesiacs,

pretends to be their family,
steals their benefits.

Why didn't you tell us? Hmm?
You could've been straight with us.

Whitney has my Identikit.

The stuff inside it
should tell me who I am.

So blackmail.

Even more reason
why you should have said something.

We would've had your back.

I know. I...

I don't know, just...
She just needed a ride. So I...

You lied!

I brought you on
my goddamn ship, in my home,

and you played me.

I always did have my suspicions.

- Spike!
- Okay.

I'm... I'm sorry. I fucked up.

Dobre dien, I believe you have
one of mine aboard your ship.

What the hell?

They're pirate broadcasting
on our systems.

It's fact.

Your security

is, unfortunately for you,

quite garbage.

Holy shit.

It's the Mink.

The Iron Mink.

Who the hell?

The most notorious arms dealer
in the solar system.

- Shit.
- Oh, shit.

It's also fact, you have...

one hour to hand her over.

Or I will explode you and your ship.

- Wait, Mr. Mink.
- What?

You?

You've got the wrong ship.

All right?
We're just cowboys looking for a bounty.

Well, shit.

Hello,

lyubov moya.

Did you truly believe
you could run from me?

Do you know this guy?

Minkie.

I thought I very clearly
told you to fuck off.

Yes, was most clear.

And the only reason you aren't sucking
stardust in icy vacuum of space

is because of vows I made.

- Vows?
- He's your husband?

You guys are married?

Allow me to handle this.

You want me,
you must go through my friends first.

- The hell he does!
- Fuck that.

- What?
- No.

You

are disgusting.

Shameless.

Ravishing.

Miserable.

Husk. Blyat.

I loved you so much.

It makes me sad to kill you.

Ah, shit!

- What are you doing?
- I'll fix it later.

We need to
get off this ship in triple-time.

Jet, please.
We can't turn her in until she's...

We? There is no "we" here.

I'm turning her in. You lied and brought
your con mom aboard my ship.

Now the Iron Mink's all over my ass.

In fairness,
it is a little bit of a "we" problem.

All I wanted to do today

is get a decent signal so I don't miss
my daughter's goddamn recital.

Oh. And all I wanted to do was find out
who I am and who my family are.

- Give me that.
- Hey!

That is worth more
than you'll make in a lifetime.

Is that a tracker?

No. Uh... Minkie would never.

Our relationship is based on trust.

Said the scorpion.

Where is Faye's Identikit?

Like I'd tell you.
I may be a natural blond, but I'm not an...

Are you fucking kidding me?

...idiot.

There's only one way she gets the kit.

You take these off. I take her there.

Yes.

Go! But you give her what she's after.

Liking this side of you.

Spike and I will take the tracker
and lead the Mink the other way.

Liking this less.

Jet.

Thank you.

You, let's go.

- Why you do me like that?
- Come on.

So rare.

The three of us together.

Calls for something just as rare
to mark the occasion.

Earth stock Pinot Noir.

The 67-2 fields.

Aromas of wild berries and dark chocolate.

Hedonistic body,

and a deep finish
with lingering hints of tobacco.

Profoundly luxurious mouthfeel.

- Never tasted the like.
- Mmm.

Shall I come back after the mincing
and preening part of the day is over?

Right to business. Very good.

So,

you two are reaching for an overthrow.

Worth an extra 2% to each of you.

Well, I'm a fan of money.

But not of taking risks
that might get us all killed.

What's the play?

Mao will present the Elders

with incontrovertible proof
I'm planning a coup d'état.

A bloody one at that.

Go on.

The Elders will swear a death note.

You will catch me and deliver me
to the temple in irons.

The only weapon, aside from the Kobun's,
will be my katana,

which Mao will use per tradition
as my accuser to carry out the execution.

And at that moment,

shall I wonder out loud?

You will miraculously shed your shackles.

He shall.

I liberate Mao of my sword,
kill the Kobun and...

take the Elders' heads.

Hmm.

Mmm.

Let's bump it to 3%.

And you can, uh,

swing your sword as you like.

Consider it settled.

Then let us mince...

and preen!

We're not moving. Why are we not moving?

Accident? Dead goat? No God?

Whatever it is,
we're sitting ducks on this bus.

It seemed like the fastest way
to put distance between us and the docks.

- Yeah? Does this seem fast?
- Yeah.

Does this seem fast to you?

He must really love you.

Oh.

He did good, huh?

I like to think we make each other happy.

No, thank you.

- Go easy.
- I trusted her.

She knew that and she still lied.

Maybe that's on you and not her.

We need to move!

Call me back. I want to make sure
you vaginas are still alive or whatever.

Wouldn't get my hopes up.
Minkie's relentless.

What were you doing
with those two minor-leaguers anyway?

Uh, my ship went belly up, so I'm stuck
with them until I get a new one.

Desperate times, desperate measures.

What are you doing?

- We need wheels to get where we're going.
- It's a dead end.

You have my ticket.

Excuse me. I'm so sorry.
We're running so late. I'm so sorry.

I'm sure you understand.

Garçon, my car please.

- Ticket?
- Of course, I have it, uh...

- Right, I gave it to you, darling heart.
- What? No, you didn't.

She's always losing things.

My fault, I didn't give her
enough structure as a child.

I handed it to you
when I was doing my lipstick. Remember?

Oh, yes! The ticket. Wow, I, um...

I think I lost it.

Oh, my God, I would lose my head
if it wasn't attached!

Sorry, ma'am. No ticket, no car.

Oh, come on, it's over there,
the, um, puny one.

Puny? Mother,
it's all I got in the divorce.

Issues in the bedroom. Nothing
a good safe word wouldn't have fixed.

Jesus Christ, Mother.

And if you'd done your exercises,
like I told you...

I mean, nobody likes parking
a motorcycle in a two-car garage.

Oh, right, and there's nothing wrong
with my garage.

Quite the opposite, actually.
Tight as a drum.

Ladies, please, I need you to move...

Oh, my God. My...
You just touched my mother's boob!

Did you see what he just did?
He just touched my mother's boob!

I demand to see your manager.
You should be arrested for assault.

Wait. I...

You think because you're a Mr. Man,
the gatekeeper of keys,

you can cop a feel as you please
on my poor mother?

I didn't touch... Just...
Which are your keys?

Wait. Okay.

The least you could do
is pull it up for us.

- You heard the lady!
- Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

What are you doing here?

How was the meeting?

Did you really think
Vicious came up with this plan?

It's fair to think he didn't.

He's a shoot-first-fuck-the-consequences
type of guy.

You called him a mad dog.

Said he'd get us all killed.

Do you want me to apologize?

No.

I want you to take his head.

You know, marital strife
rarely inspires good decisions.

I know exactly what I'm asking.

He offered you, what? 2%?

I'm offering you the entire throne.

Then what exactly do you get
with this double cross?

A ticket out of the Syndicate.

Goddamn useless piece of shit.

You know, it's adorable

that people still think valet keys
keep people out of their trunks.

Is there anything you can't do?

Change the tire.

Lug nuts and acrylics aren't friends.

Oh. Wouldn't want to break a nail
trying to protect your own hide.

Certainly not! I just had them done.

There you go.

Admit it,

we have fun.

Yeah, when you're not manipulating me
or trying to steal my identity.

Sure, we have a hoot.

You know, I actually see
a lot of myself in you.

In what way?

The best way.

You're clever, tough,
audacious, suffer no fools.

I can think of one I've suffered.

And when life gives you lemons,
you make a vodka twist.

You're a survivor, Faye.

Like moi.

I'm a survivor because of you.

I have to admit,

leaving you was
one of the hardest things I've ever done.

I actually enjoyed being your mother.

Is that why you up and left?
No forwarding address?

That was because of some moderate debt
I had accrued and...

My lenders had gotten impatient.

Oh. Okay.

I didn't plan on leaving when I did, Faye.

I loved our little life together.

I wasn't ready for it to be over.

Well, a fantasy is just a fantasy.
It wasn't real.

You know what the difference
between reality and fantasy is?

Your perception.

Fantasies can be
as real as you want them to be.

North is that way,
which means that's west.

That way's west?
I thought we just came from west.

I'm totally turned around.

- Shit!
- What?

Kimmie's recital's about to start.

- I'm gonna take the call in there.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- How long's this gonna take?
- As long as it takes.

What do you want me to do about this?

Figure it out, Spike.

You expect me to deal with the world's
most notorious arms dealer alone,

while you watch your daughter's recital?

She's got the lead.

That's fair.

Why is everybody's family problems
my problems?

I'm the orphan.

Sorry I'm late.

Nah. Nick of time, pal.

You won't believe the shit
I went through to get here.

- On a job?
- Something like that.

You went with the peonies?

Yeah, it was, uh... It's more wow
for the woo than the lilies, you know?

- Thanks.
- Yeah, of course.

Those are from Jet?

Yeah.

He's trying.

Cripes, you have done
some damage in the world.

Identikits are
in the back right corner.

Faye.

Are you really ready
to find out who you are?

Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?

You'd been on ice for years, Faye.

No one came for you.
You know what that means.

Either your parents are long dead or...

Or they left you for dead.

Wow.

Look at you.

I'm the sun.
The center of our solar system.

Yes, you are, baby.

I'm gonna move up closer
to get better pictures.

Would you mind, uh,
sending me some of those pics?

'Course.

I'll, um, make sure we get at least one
of Kimmie with the flowers you got her.

Thanks.

It, um... It really means a lot to her
that you're here.

I'd fight the world
to make sure I showed up.

I have money. Disguises.

A ship.

It's a one-seater, but we'll make it work!

Think of the fun we'd have, partnered up.

Living free,
no one telling us what's what.

I have to know.

She gets that from you!

Oh, yeah, she's got my moves.

Okay.

X1.

X1.

G, X1, X1...

X1. X1.

X1, X1, X1...

What the...

The fuck are you?

Yeah! Kimmie!

Oh, man.

Need something, fella?

Uh...

No. I'm good. Good as can be, actually.

Oh!

- I've got to go.
- Good seeing you.

Uh, you too.

- Shit. Thanks for this.
- Yeah.

Happy to help.

Oh, hey, how was Kimmie?

- Good, really good.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Oh, that's great. That's great.

- Did you get 'em all?
- Yeah.

And the Mink?

Wait. That's not the Mink.

- Where's the Mink?
- I don't know.

- Was that really the only thing in there?
- That was it.

Hello, lyubov moya.

Oh, shit.

How did you find me?

You think I put only one tracker on you?

That's right, my pretty zaika.

If only you hadn't stolen so much from me.

There's no stealing in marriage.

What's yours is mine, and what's mine...

I lock away for safekeeping.

Every time you open
your beautiful lying mouth,

I want to kiss it.

It breaks my heart but I must kill you.

Must? But why?

Word gets out Iron Mink was conned...

I lose face.

Honor! Reputation.

Iron Mink

must be feared.

Dreaded.

Otherwise, he is just Mink.

Now I kill you.

Whoa, wait, wait, wait! Wait. Mr. Mink.

Mr. Mink, please.

Don't kill her. Or me.

I'm... I'm begging you.

And who are you to beg?

Her daughter.

Whitney...

Whitney is a lying, stealing...

It's how she survives,

and I'm sure that
she didn't mean to hurt you.

Or me.

Oh, darling heart,
I wasn't very good to you.

I'm not proud of that.

It could have been worse.

This is really sweet moment,

but deeply unpleasant for me

because now I must kill you too.

Dimitri! Davai.

Saddle stitch.

Pizdets.

- What the hell, Minkie?
- Oh, shit!

- Did you really need to off poor Dimitri?
- Yes, sorry.

He heard the safe word.

Like we couldn't come up with another one?

What?

I'm sorry.

But now we make love.

What?

Yes, we will, naughty boy.

What is happening?

Um...

So, uh,

you guys did this
out of some kind of a kink role play?

I told you.

Fantasies can be made real.

Oh, my beautiful sladka.
The things I will do to you.

Does baby need the muzzle?

Do not promise if you do not do.

You'd better watch it.

I'm getting riled up
and I'm all out of oil.

I don't need...

A dry pontoon?

Mmm.

Mama likes it.

Now,

to my ship.

What about her?

I send Gregor to fetch her.

She is family,
perhaps I put tracker on her too.

You're going to be
an amazing father to her.

What?

Bye, Mom!

That's my girl.

I really appreciate it.

Especially after all the shit
that I pulled.

Uh...

Whatever, I...

- I should have trusted you both.
- Yeah.

Well,

I might have been a bit of a...

Of a dick?

At first.

Thank you, guys.

- You want to do the honors?
- Uh...

No, you do it. I...
I don't know how to work that thing,

so you can do it.

Uh,
hi, me, in the future.

It's, uh, me.

You from 15 years ago.

How are you? Are you doing all right?

Myself 15 years from now,
it's almost impossible to imagine.

Are... are you alone?

Or... or is there a wonderful person
sitting next to me? To you?

Knowing me, I'm sure you're causing all
kinds of trouble to all kinds of people.

Even though you don't mean to, but...

It's gonna be all right.

Today you are who you are today.
You're still me, but a newer version,

and you're not perfect,
but you've got a lot to give.

So always remember,
I'm rooting for you, future self.

You can do it, all right?

Go me! Go me! Go me! Yay!

- Did you get it?
- I got it.

How was it? Did I do okay?

- You were beautiful, sweetheart.
- Thanks, Mom.

Mom.