Cowboy Bebop (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Episode #1.5 - full transcript
You hear that?
He's playing triplets,
eighths and sixteenths.
All in a single phrase. Whoo!
All I hear is a bunch of random notes
that don't go with the melody.
It's the same melody.
Bird's just playing it double time
and then throwing in a bluesy lick.
- That's what makes the song genius.
- It is genius.
Until all that shameless,
squawking bullshit.
Bird is composing on the spot.
I got your Bird right here.
Udai Taxim. Low-rent thug.
There's surveillance of him
talking to our mark.
I, I know that shadow.
And you know it because it's Duero.
It's not Duero.
Duero's just bought a lake house.
Can you afford a lake house
on your lieutenant's salary?
You know I can't.
And Duero is a Cub Scout.
All right. Who do you like? Phillips?
No, it's not Phillips or Duero.
All right then, Sherlock,
give it to me.
Chalmers.
Chalmers?
He's too perfect.
I mean, nobody closes that many cases
without an inside line.
This is Chalmers talking to Udai.
I'm going to stick with my primary, Duero.
I'd put money on it.
Yeah?
I'll take your money.
I've got a hard 2K says
Chalmers is our dirty cop.
Getting Udai to name the actor
could get messy.
Sure. But maybe he goes down easy.
Speaking of names, Alisa and I picked one.
Yeah? Uh. Give it to me.
Kimmie.
Kimmie, that's a great name.
Short for what?
Kimberley? Kimbra? Kimble?
- No, just Kimmie.
- Just Kimmie.
Police! Stay inside, ma'am.
You all right?
Yeah, good, go, go get him!
Get him!
Stop!
It's over!
Drop the iron, Udai!
It's confession time.
Who are you working for?
Who's the dirty cop?
The entire movement
was a reaction to swing,
which was dominated by propulsive rhythms.
But in bebop, though, the emphasis
went from bass drum to hi-hat.
Like in Parker's "Ko Ko,"
starts with a simple sax and trumpet,
Bird and Dizz trading eight-bar phrases
and then bang!
- Bird does a solo that just...
- Jet.
Is the thermal regulator down again?
Not that I know of.
There's not a drop of hot water
in those pipes.
Ah, shit.
Sorry, guys. That's on me.
I like my shower-bath-shower
scalding hot, so...
What?
Shower-bath-shower.
It's how you clean yourself.
Seriously?
Okay.
Baths are great. But gross.
Who wants to be in a tub full of hot water
stewing in their own filth?
So you start by taking a shower
and wash all the grime off.
And then you get in the tub,
at which point you shave, soap, exfoliate...
- How long is she going to be here?
- I...
By the way,
you two should really invest in a loofah.
Now, after the deliciousness of the bath,
you get back in the shower, rinse off,
ergo, shower-bath-shower.
Were you two
raised by wolves?
All right, here we go.
It's the big one, cowboys.
A prison ship has...
A prison transport ship
has just crashed on Europa. So...
Prisoners are fleeing
in every direction.
Well, you know what that means!
It's time for...
- the leaderboard!
- Leaderboard!
Oh, there's gonna be
a lot of red meat out there.
- Ah, it's a good day for the Bebop.
- Yeah.
These are hardened criminals
straight from the prison colony
on Pluto, Judy.
And all the best cowboys
in the solar system are headed for Europa.
How far is Europa?
Uh...
Gate-to-Moon, we can get to Europa's
air space in 20, give or take.
We have a laundry list of robbers,
drug dealers and killers. Judy?
The Sutherland Twins...
Ah, The Sutherland arsonists,
we could take a run at them.
Twins creep me out.
Fat Elvis,
a whopping 32 million woo.
Good get.
That really is a fat catch.
- Tony the Chop. Forty million woolong.
- Urgh.
- Ugly.
- Udai Taxim.
Forty-five million woo.
Udai Taxim.
Udai Taxim.
Udai Taxim.
- But the day is still young, Punch!
- What is it?
- The day is still young, Judy...
- Where are you going?
Hey! Where are you going?
Out.
You two, team up. Go grab some bounties.
- With her?
- Team up?
Yeah, team up.
Every gun-toting cowboy's
gonna be looking to get
a piece of this turkey shoot.
Be a perfect storm
to catch a bullet in your ass.
So pairing will be the best way
to cover your asses.
Well, who's covering yours?
Don't worry about me.
Yeah, but...
I said team up.
Now team up, God damn it!
Okay.
- What's up with your boy?
- I don't know.
But he's got his cop face on.
Meaning?
Meaning when he gets like this,
it's just best to do what he says.
The Universal Cuff.
Keeping bounties and cowboys together
across the universe!
Yeah.
Udai's out.
A-hole was on the prison transport ship
that crashed.
Meet me at the place
near the thing we went to that time.
I'll bring Udai's file.
- What's with you and that tie?
- Ha!
- Ah.
- Ah, you look good. Fit.
Guess cow-boying keeps you trim.
Yeah. You got fat.
- Oh.
- Maybe lay off of Connie's baked ziti?
Hey, speaking of which,
she left two slices in my cooler for you.
That bet still on?
Have we met?
Good.
Udai doesn't have
many friends in this city
so I figure he's gonna try
and jump planet as fast as he can.
How's he gonna do that?
Spaceport's locked down
tighter than two coats of paint.
Not with a new name.
You remember that case
we worked in Salt City?
Yeah, yeah, the White Tigers paper guy.
Uh, Donny? Danny?
Yeah, Dagmar.
Dagmar! You know what I remember?
That guy broke his teeth
falling down a flight of stairs.
I remember you
pushing him down said stairs.
A bounty I nabbed a while back
said Dagmar got paroled and jumped here.
Word on the street is
he's running an opium den in mid-town,
but still doing papers in the back.
- By the hummus place?
- Yeah.
Want to go get some tzatziki?
Bird and Dizz at the Savoy
was the best record they ever made.
That's because
Dizz played trumpet on every track.
Bird playing the sax
is what made the damn record.
I think that facial hair's
messing up your hearing.
Ah...
Look, all bullshitting aside,
I've had a lot of time to think.
From all angles.
Here's what I know.
Chalmers pulled the trigger that night.
He set me up.
He was the first on the scene
and the one who made
the case that put me away.
- And he's dating your ex?
- This isn't about that.
It took me years
to earn my reputation as a good cop.
And that smiling jackhole took it away.
I want it back.
For my daughter.
Well, then let's go get it.
I think Ponzi Pete
is a solid choice.
Please, I couldn't afford
a can of cat food with his reward money.
Now T-Bone Wilson, I can get behind.
- T-Bone eats people.
- So?
So it took seven guys
to take him down the last time,
and he ate the faces off two of them.
Yeah, but he's worth the most money.
I like my face.
So do many others.
Hey, how about Jimmy Two-Shits?
We're chasing juvies now?
And you object on what grounds?
Because I'm trying
to make some fat stacks.
Oh. What about School Girl 5?
Afraid the Ural beat you to it.
That's another 35 million woo
for Terpsichore.
Jesus Christ.
They're snaking all the good ones.
That's some bullshit.
What are you doing?
Uh, I'll tell you what I'm not gonna do
is stick around here
with my thumb up my ass!
- I'm going out.
- Hold on, hold on!
Jet's right.
It's gonna be
a shooting gallery out there.
So let's just...
Let's hunker down and we'll pick one.
Fine.
That's right, Judy.
In this here solar system,
coppers only pay out for live heads!
All right, let's go with...
- Kangaroo Kid!
- Stoner Stu!
I've got an idea.
We shoot for it. Winner picks the bounty.
Mao doesn't get
to set the terms.
It's my goddamn meeting.
Ana said Mao just wanted me there
for insurance.
Like she's afraid
that I won't be able control myself.
She's just baiting you.
Don't let her win.
It hurts me
to see you worry,
like I'm incapable of keeping you safe.
No, it's not that.
It's just that
we only get one shot at Mao.
So what we're about to do,
it has to go our way.
I'll kill that bitch.
With kindness.
Three, two, one. Shoot.
What the hell is that?
That is a crossbow, because I'm a hunter.
Hunter, bear, ninja?
Say what?
Hunter, bear, ninja?
Bear eats ninja.
Ninja kills hunter. Ninja.
Hunter shoots bear. Got it?
No. What? A bear eat... What?
Okay, fine, we'll do a different one.
Um, foot, cockroach, atomic bomb.
All right, three, two, one. Shoot!
Yeah, I don't know that one either.
Foot, cockroach, atomic bomb?
Foot kills cockroach.
Atomic bomb blows up foot. Cockroach...
survives atomic bomb.
You just made that up.
No, I didn't just make that up.
Let's just go old school.
Rock, paper, scissors.
- Okay?
- Okay, grandma.
Three, two, one.
Shit.
Sweet. Spoils go to the victor.
- What?
- What, what?
What? What's the little
smirk on your face?
What is that? What's that shit?
You're predictable.
You always throw the third choice.
I do not.
Hunter, atomic bomb, scissors.
Every time, third choice.
- Well played.
- Hmm.
Now let's go get your chump-change bounty.
Our cat food awaits.
- Cat food's better than no food.
- Is it?
Howdy! Sounds like
Stoner Stu has been captured!
Looks like Ural Terpsichore
is having a hell of a day.
I fucking hate that blockhead.
Can't help but notice
that T-Bone is still in play.
Oh, no, it looks like T-Bone Wilson
has just killed six,
count them six, bounty hunters.
ISSP Sniper Unit has been dispatched
and asks all cowboys
pursuing T-Bone to stand down.
No prize for this one, cowboys.
Crap. Shit. Crap!
Is that like shower-bath-shower?
Hey. Where's Dagmar?
Busy. But we're running
a special on Neville Haze.
And 30% off secondhand hookahs.
He's in the back.
So Jeffery's good?
Jeffery's really bonding
with his new therapist.
And Chris, he loved the gift.
It was great.
Did you get his card?
Uh, yeah.
Sorry I didn't make the ceremony.
Well, I'm sorry I've only seen you
twice since you got out.
Yeah, you know,
I really wanted to be there.
Oh, come on, stop.
My oldest son graduates the Academy
in a room full of cops,
I get it. But you know what?
I miss this.
Me too. Especially this part.
What the fuck?
Hey, how are you doing, Dagmar?
Hey, Jet Black.
I heard you rolled a hard five
up at Pluto Supermax.
I'm rehabilitated.
Nice teeth. They new?
Hey, no, come on, guys.
Now, what do you want from me?
Udai Taxim. He's out.
He needs new papers. You seen him?
Oh. No. No, and I don't do that no more.
What's this?
That's nothing,
you know, an inventory.
Dagmar, you lying sack of shit.
Got Udai's new papers right here.
Ah, come on, guys,
I just got those.
Well, they're nice. They look expensive.
This... is for lying to us.
When's he picking them up, hmm?
I don't know, I don't know. He didn't say.
Ah...
All right, all right,
in a few hours, okay?
I swear. In a few hours.
Good. You good?
I'm good.
Good. Yeah, we're all good here. All good.
Come on, toss me those, will you?
They're like 90K a pop.
We're taking these
for coffee across the street.
If Udai shows, you call us.
What?
- Chalmers and Duero are here.
- Mm-hmm.
- Looks like our bet is a push.
- How's that?
Chalmers and Duero showing up here
means they're both dirty.
They get to Udai first,
they'll put a bullet in him.
Ah, that's not gonna happen.
Not until we've talked to him.
Hold your breath.
The girl behind the counter
must have called it in.
Shit,
I just burned Udai's paper guy.
I'm sorry. I saw those two
and I, I just lost it.
Don't worry about it.
We'll do what we do. Work the case.
Nah, we've gotta get out of here
before Chalmers and Duero see us.
Nah, we're fine.
They're gonna be tripping balls
for the next 12 hours.
Nothing like x-nine-infused opium
to bring partners together.
Yeah, Alisa's going to wake up
and find Chalmers' boning the radiator.
Ah...
What about Eddie Bazooka?
Talk about chump change!
What about Tony the Chop?
Did you read his sheet?
Oh, yeah.
- Pastor Pete looks pretty good.
- No. No way.
Pastor Pete's what you call
a, um, a mole man.
He literally burrows his way
into the ground, and I don't like...
You know, I don't, I don't like dirt, so...
Let that be a reminder
to all you cowboys.
Don't take a bite
larger than you can chew.
You don't want to work with me, do you?
Where did that come from?
Yeah...
You don't think I can do this.
That's why you keep
recommending pussy bounties.
Because you think I'm some sort
of Suzie Creamcheese or something.
No. Of course not.
Bullshit.
Okay. A, before we met,
never heard of you.
B, I've seen nothing since then
that proves to me
that you're actually a bounty hunter.
Uh-huh. Okay.
This! A souvenir from Joey T.
Bites me in the station
as I'm turning him in.
That. That's from Regina Scissors.
Okay.
That's cute. Bites, scissors.
This is from Stella the Fella's blowtorch.
- You nabbed Stella?
- Biggest bounty we ever caught.
Hmm.
This was when we took down
the Cunningham Sisters. Yeah.
That's not a birthmark?
And this is when we nabbed
Bohdan the Bison.
Wow. What's with all this "we" shit?
"We" took. "We" nabbed.
It sounds like chicken shit to me,
because me, I bagged 'em solo.
And I'm like a little girl.
You did. Nickel and dime grabs.
Yeah?
Roland Dupree's not nickel and dime.
Nah.
There's no way that was you.
It's not possible.
He was a blood money mercenary.
A ghost geared to go megaton
if anybody got too close.
He had a singular identifying mark.
- He...
- Chewed off his fingerprints.
Yeah. That was me.
Prove it.
Hmm.
He's got no papers.
No girlfriend.
No family to reach out to.
So what's Udai's next move?
Go to ground maybe?
Nah.
He's been in a 3-by-6
for the last nine years.
He's not hiding in a hole.
- It's Con.
- Take it.
Hey, baby, baby.
Yeah. I'm here with Jet now.
Yeah. Oh, yeah?
Hey, when we get this buttoned up,
Cons will make you tiramisu.
- You come to the house.
- Yeah, sure.
Thanks, Con!
Yeah. Probably gonna be at this all night.
Love you too, baby.
Udai wouldn't hide in a hole,
but he'd hide in a box.
Like that Captain Saturday, the dealer
who hid in his own shipping container?
Exactly. The only way
Udai gets off Europa without papers
is if he stows away in
an interplanetary container freighter.
And where would he slip
into one of those unseen?
Sorting station!
Let's go.
Hey, hey,
don't forget Connie's Tupperware.
First words out of that pretty mouth
better be an apology.
You asked me for Gunther,
my best hit man, I sent him to you.
No questions asked.
As a show of good faith between us.
But I get him back in a box.
It was unfortunate.
So who was this extraordinary mark
who had the skills to end Gunther?
It's...
immaterial.
Is it?
Reparations will be made.
Handsomely.
So what else
have you come here to give me?
Opportunity.
You think you and I are the same?
I think we both like making money.
And the Elders
are preventing us from doing that.
You're just pouting 'cause they shut down
your Red-Eye distro.
And you think they won't find out
what you're into.
We are all subject
to their dispositions, are we not?
They need
to be killed.
The stones on you.
Those fossils are the only thing
standing between us
and absolute power.
The temple is impenetrable.
You couldn't get to them.
And even if you did,
you'd never survive the Kobun's blades.
Sounds like you've thought about it.
And who takes over?
You?
Not alone.
We must uphold the Syndicate traditions.
Three at the top. You, me,
and Santiago.
- He wouldn't.
- He will.
If you ask him.
Don't underestimate the Eunuch.
He's vile in ways you could never imagine.
Oh, you think he doesn't have any balls,
but that's not
how Santiago got his moniker.
Enlighten me.
You ever seen those pruning knives
they use in the vineyards?
Perfect for taking grapes off the vine.
He used that knife
on the first man that wronged him.
Carved on him for days.
Until finally, he took off his balls.
- Mm.
- He did it to send a message.
In his words...
You'll never know true power
until you've tasted the testicles
of a man who has wronged you.
Well, tell him...
I have two to give him.
Percent, that is, of my net.
Plus
the Ganymede territories.
Same for you.
Good deal.
But it's a no from me.
Unless...
your wife sings for me.
Consider it my cherry on top.
It's a small ask.
It's not a small ask. She's my wife.
See, this is why I miss your partner.
At least when he was around
you were a bit muzzled.
Now, Fearless, he had it all.
Ruthless, level-headed,
and a better killer than you'll ever be.
Fuck Fearless! You know what?
I don't need you.
The deal is off.
Let's go.
Julia?
♪ Swath me ♪
♪ In honey ♪
♪ Wrap me ♪
♪ In stars ♪
♪ This world has teeth, my love ♪
♪ And I bear the scars ♪
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
Wow! How did you...
Well, I had to get close enough to him
to see his gnawed little fingers.
Right, right.
And we all knew he was armed
to the teeth with weapons.
Mmm.
But what most didn't know,
the guy loved to tango.
Once I had visual confirmation,
all I had to do was disarm him.
And after I took his brass cat,
I whispered, "Dip me."
Play dead.
Come on, dude,
you're punking my story. Play dead.
And that is how I duped Dupree.
Respect.
Unadulterated respect.
Stick with me, kid,
you might learn a thing or two.
I'm all ears.
Mmm.
What are you looking at?
I am not giving you a beer.
Okay.
Forget what I said before.
Now you've got my full respect.
This shower-bath-shower thing,
life-changing.
- Right?
- Yes!
Oh.
Talk to me about the loofah thing, please.
Okay. So when it comes to loofahs,
there are no bad choices.
Now me, I like the classic body mitt.
But if you want to rip-shit riot...
I do.
Loofah on a stick.
Check for busted custom seals.
Shit.
The running's over.
You?
That's right, Udai.
Don't shoot.
I was just doing what he told me.
Look...
I'm not gonna kill you.
I just need the truth.
Who pulled the trigger on me?
Chalmers? Was it Chalmers?
No.
No.
No.
Tell me it wasn't you.
Things happen, Jet, in life.
Shit you don't see coming.
What things?
Debt, bills, parking tickets.
You know, things.
You could have come to me.
I could have done a lot of things.
I chose to go to them.
The Syndicate.
It was a nice arrangement.
They needed a guy on the inside,
I needed a lot of money.
Win-win.
So you let me twist.
I was their man now.
They were paying me to protect them,
but you wouldn't let it go!
- I was doing my job.
- Yeah, and that's the rub!
I lost everything because of you!
I'm sorry.
Ah, I'm sorry
I've got to put you down like this.
Asshole.
Hands! Let me see 'em!
Jet?
Fad killed Udai?
You kill Fad?
I'll call it into IAB.
Let them know our suspect is DOA.
- You knew Fad was dirty?
- Yeah.
Been tracking him for months
trying to build a case.
If we'd got to Udai first,
he'd have given up Fad.
You just killed the only man in creation
that can clear your name.
Shit, Jet.
You've got the worst luck I've ever seen.
Yeah.
I'm aware of that.
What now?
As far as I'm concerned,
these two dirtbags shot one another.
You should take off
before those cherries get here.
Bird was the better player.
You humiliated me
in front of that fucking cow!
The minute you told Mao the plan,
you needed her to agree.
So I gave her what she wanted.
You got what you needed.
And since you owed her
for Gunther...
What was that about?
Vicious!
So who was this extraordinary mark
who had the skills to end Gunther?
You're drinking Kudo again?
I was feeling nostalgic.
Fuck.
Fearless.
Oh, my God.
Fearless is alive.
He's playing triplets,
eighths and sixteenths.
All in a single phrase. Whoo!
All I hear is a bunch of random notes
that don't go with the melody.
It's the same melody.
Bird's just playing it double time
and then throwing in a bluesy lick.
- That's what makes the song genius.
- It is genius.
Until all that shameless,
squawking bullshit.
Bird is composing on the spot.
I got your Bird right here.
Udai Taxim. Low-rent thug.
There's surveillance of him
talking to our mark.
I, I know that shadow.
And you know it because it's Duero.
It's not Duero.
Duero's just bought a lake house.
Can you afford a lake house
on your lieutenant's salary?
You know I can't.
And Duero is a Cub Scout.
All right. Who do you like? Phillips?
No, it's not Phillips or Duero.
All right then, Sherlock,
give it to me.
Chalmers.
Chalmers?
He's too perfect.
I mean, nobody closes that many cases
without an inside line.
This is Chalmers talking to Udai.
I'm going to stick with my primary, Duero.
I'd put money on it.
Yeah?
I'll take your money.
I've got a hard 2K says
Chalmers is our dirty cop.
Getting Udai to name the actor
could get messy.
Sure. But maybe he goes down easy.
Speaking of names, Alisa and I picked one.
Yeah? Uh. Give it to me.
Kimmie.
Kimmie, that's a great name.
Short for what?
Kimberley? Kimbra? Kimble?
- No, just Kimmie.
- Just Kimmie.
Police! Stay inside, ma'am.
You all right?
Yeah, good, go, go get him!
Get him!
Stop!
It's over!
Drop the iron, Udai!
It's confession time.
Who are you working for?
Who's the dirty cop?
The entire movement
was a reaction to swing,
which was dominated by propulsive rhythms.
But in bebop, though, the emphasis
went from bass drum to hi-hat.
Like in Parker's "Ko Ko,"
starts with a simple sax and trumpet,
Bird and Dizz trading eight-bar phrases
and then bang!
- Bird does a solo that just...
- Jet.
Is the thermal regulator down again?
Not that I know of.
There's not a drop of hot water
in those pipes.
Ah, shit.
Sorry, guys. That's on me.
I like my shower-bath-shower
scalding hot, so...
What?
Shower-bath-shower.
It's how you clean yourself.
Seriously?
Okay.
Baths are great. But gross.
Who wants to be in a tub full of hot water
stewing in their own filth?
So you start by taking a shower
and wash all the grime off.
And then you get in the tub,
at which point you shave, soap, exfoliate...
- How long is she going to be here?
- I...
By the way,
you two should really invest in a loofah.
Now, after the deliciousness of the bath,
you get back in the shower, rinse off,
ergo, shower-bath-shower.
Were you two
raised by wolves?
All right, here we go.
It's the big one, cowboys.
A prison ship has...
A prison transport ship
has just crashed on Europa. So...
Prisoners are fleeing
in every direction.
Well, you know what that means!
It's time for...
- the leaderboard!
- Leaderboard!
Oh, there's gonna be
a lot of red meat out there.
- Ah, it's a good day for the Bebop.
- Yeah.
These are hardened criminals
straight from the prison colony
on Pluto, Judy.
And all the best cowboys
in the solar system are headed for Europa.
How far is Europa?
Uh...
Gate-to-Moon, we can get to Europa's
air space in 20, give or take.
We have a laundry list of robbers,
drug dealers and killers. Judy?
The Sutherland Twins...
Ah, The Sutherland arsonists,
we could take a run at them.
Twins creep me out.
Fat Elvis,
a whopping 32 million woo.
Good get.
That really is a fat catch.
- Tony the Chop. Forty million woolong.
- Urgh.
- Ugly.
- Udai Taxim.
Forty-five million woo.
Udai Taxim.
Udai Taxim.
Udai Taxim.
- But the day is still young, Punch!
- What is it?
- The day is still young, Judy...
- Where are you going?
Hey! Where are you going?
Out.
You two, team up. Go grab some bounties.
- With her?
- Team up?
Yeah, team up.
Every gun-toting cowboy's
gonna be looking to get
a piece of this turkey shoot.
Be a perfect storm
to catch a bullet in your ass.
So pairing will be the best way
to cover your asses.
Well, who's covering yours?
Don't worry about me.
Yeah, but...
I said team up.
Now team up, God damn it!
Okay.
- What's up with your boy?
- I don't know.
But he's got his cop face on.
Meaning?
Meaning when he gets like this,
it's just best to do what he says.
The Universal Cuff.
Keeping bounties and cowboys together
across the universe!
Yeah.
Udai's out.
A-hole was on the prison transport ship
that crashed.
Meet me at the place
near the thing we went to that time.
I'll bring Udai's file.
- What's with you and that tie?
- Ha!
- Ah.
- Ah, you look good. Fit.
Guess cow-boying keeps you trim.
Yeah. You got fat.
- Oh.
- Maybe lay off of Connie's baked ziti?
Hey, speaking of which,
she left two slices in my cooler for you.
That bet still on?
Have we met?
Good.
Udai doesn't have
many friends in this city
so I figure he's gonna try
and jump planet as fast as he can.
How's he gonna do that?
Spaceport's locked down
tighter than two coats of paint.
Not with a new name.
You remember that case
we worked in Salt City?
Yeah, yeah, the White Tigers paper guy.
Uh, Donny? Danny?
Yeah, Dagmar.
Dagmar! You know what I remember?
That guy broke his teeth
falling down a flight of stairs.
I remember you
pushing him down said stairs.
A bounty I nabbed a while back
said Dagmar got paroled and jumped here.
Word on the street is
he's running an opium den in mid-town,
but still doing papers in the back.
- By the hummus place?
- Yeah.
Want to go get some tzatziki?
Bird and Dizz at the Savoy
was the best record they ever made.
That's because
Dizz played trumpet on every track.
Bird playing the sax
is what made the damn record.
I think that facial hair's
messing up your hearing.
Ah...
Look, all bullshitting aside,
I've had a lot of time to think.
From all angles.
Here's what I know.
Chalmers pulled the trigger that night.
He set me up.
He was the first on the scene
and the one who made
the case that put me away.
- And he's dating your ex?
- This isn't about that.
It took me years
to earn my reputation as a good cop.
And that smiling jackhole took it away.
I want it back.
For my daughter.
Well, then let's go get it.
I think Ponzi Pete
is a solid choice.
Please, I couldn't afford
a can of cat food with his reward money.
Now T-Bone Wilson, I can get behind.
- T-Bone eats people.
- So?
So it took seven guys
to take him down the last time,
and he ate the faces off two of them.
Yeah, but he's worth the most money.
I like my face.
So do many others.
Hey, how about Jimmy Two-Shits?
We're chasing juvies now?
And you object on what grounds?
Because I'm trying
to make some fat stacks.
Oh. What about School Girl 5?
Afraid the Ural beat you to it.
That's another 35 million woo
for Terpsichore.
Jesus Christ.
They're snaking all the good ones.
That's some bullshit.
What are you doing?
Uh, I'll tell you what I'm not gonna do
is stick around here
with my thumb up my ass!
- I'm going out.
- Hold on, hold on!
Jet's right.
It's gonna be
a shooting gallery out there.
So let's just...
Let's hunker down and we'll pick one.
Fine.
That's right, Judy.
In this here solar system,
coppers only pay out for live heads!
All right, let's go with...
- Kangaroo Kid!
- Stoner Stu!
I've got an idea.
We shoot for it. Winner picks the bounty.
Mao doesn't get
to set the terms.
It's my goddamn meeting.
Ana said Mao just wanted me there
for insurance.
Like she's afraid
that I won't be able control myself.
She's just baiting you.
Don't let her win.
It hurts me
to see you worry,
like I'm incapable of keeping you safe.
No, it's not that.
It's just that
we only get one shot at Mao.
So what we're about to do,
it has to go our way.
I'll kill that bitch.
With kindness.
Three, two, one. Shoot.
What the hell is that?
That is a crossbow, because I'm a hunter.
Hunter, bear, ninja?
Say what?
Hunter, bear, ninja?
Bear eats ninja.
Ninja kills hunter. Ninja.
Hunter shoots bear. Got it?
No. What? A bear eat... What?
Okay, fine, we'll do a different one.
Um, foot, cockroach, atomic bomb.
All right, three, two, one. Shoot!
Yeah, I don't know that one either.
Foot, cockroach, atomic bomb?
Foot kills cockroach.
Atomic bomb blows up foot. Cockroach...
survives atomic bomb.
You just made that up.
No, I didn't just make that up.
Let's just go old school.
Rock, paper, scissors.
- Okay?
- Okay, grandma.
Three, two, one.
Shit.
Sweet. Spoils go to the victor.
- What?
- What, what?
What? What's the little
smirk on your face?
What is that? What's that shit?
You're predictable.
You always throw the third choice.
I do not.
Hunter, atomic bomb, scissors.
Every time, third choice.
- Well played.
- Hmm.
Now let's go get your chump-change bounty.
Our cat food awaits.
- Cat food's better than no food.
- Is it?
Howdy! Sounds like
Stoner Stu has been captured!
Looks like Ural Terpsichore
is having a hell of a day.
I fucking hate that blockhead.
Can't help but notice
that T-Bone is still in play.
Oh, no, it looks like T-Bone Wilson
has just killed six,
count them six, bounty hunters.
ISSP Sniper Unit has been dispatched
and asks all cowboys
pursuing T-Bone to stand down.
No prize for this one, cowboys.
Crap. Shit. Crap!
Is that like shower-bath-shower?
Hey. Where's Dagmar?
Busy. But we're running
a special on Neville Haze.
And 30% off secondhand hookahs.
He's in the back.
So Jeffery's good?
Jeffery's really bonding
with his new therapist.
And Chris, he loved the gift.
It was great.
Did you get his card?
Uh, yeah.
Sorry I didn't make the ceremony.
Well, I'm sorry I've only seen you
twice since you got out.
Yeah, you know,
I really wanted to be there.
Oh, come on, stop.
My oldest son graduates the Academy
in a room full of cops,
I get it. But you know what?
I miss this.
Me too. Especially this part.
What the fuck?
Hey, how are you doing, Dagmar?
Hey, Jet Black.
I heard you rolled a hard five
up at Pluto Supermax.
I'm rehabilitated.
Nice teeth. They new?
Hey, no, come on, guys.
Now, what do you want from me?
Udai Taxim. He's out.
He needs new papers. You seen him?
Oh. No. No, and I don't do that no more.
What's this?
That's nothing,
you know, an inventory.
Dagmar, you lying sack of shit.
Got Udai's new papers right here.
Ah, come on, guys,
I just got those.
Well, they're nice. They look expensive.
This... is for lying to us.
When's he picking them up, hmm?
I don't know, I don't know. He didn't say.
Ah...
All right, all right,
in a few hours, okay?
I swear. In a few hours.
Good. You good?
I'm good.
Good. Yeah, we're all good here. All good.
Come on, toss me those, will you?
They're like 90K a pop.
We're taking these
for coffee across the street.
If Udai shows, you call us.
What?
- Chalmers and Duero are here.
- Mm-hmm.
- Looks like our bet is a push.
- How's that?
Chalmers and Duero showing up here
means they're both dirty.
They get to Udai first,
they'll put a bullet in him.
Ah, that's not gonna happen.
Not until we've talked to him.
Hold your breath.
The girl behind the counter
must have called it in.
Shit,
I just burned Udai's paper guy.
I'm sorry. I saw those two
and I, I just lost it.
Don't worry about it.
We'll do what we do. Work the case.
Nah, we've gotta get out of here
before Chalmers and Duero see us.
Nah, we're fine.
They're gonna be tripping balls
for the next 12 hours.
Nothing like x-nine-infused opium
to bring partners together.
Yeah, Alisa's going to wake up
and find Chalmers' boning the radiator.
Ah...
What about Eddie Bazooka?
Talk about chump change!
What about Tony the Chop?
Did you read his sheet?
Oh, yeah.
- Pastor Pete looks pretty good.
- No. No way.
Pastor Pete's what you call
a, um, a mole man.
He literally burrows his way
into the ground, and I don't like...
You know, I don't, I don't like dirt, so...
Let that be a reminder
to all you cowboys.
Don't take a bite
larger than you can chew.
You don't want to work with me, do you?
Where did that come from?
Yeah...
You don't think I can do this.
That's why you keep
recommending pussy bounties.
Because you think I'm some sort
of Suzie Creamcheese or something.
No. Of course not.
Bullshit.
Okay. A, before we met,
never heard of you.
B, I've seen nothing since then
that proves to me
that you're actually a bounty hunter.
Uh-huh. Okay.
This! A souvenir from Joey T.
Bites me in the station
as I'm turning him in.
That. That's from Regina Scissors.
Okay.
That's cute. Bites, scissors.
This is from Stella the Fella's blowtorch.
- You nabbed Stella?
- Biggest bounty we ever caught.
Hmm.
This was when we took down
the Cunningham Sisters. Yeah.
That's not a birthmark?
And this is when we nabbed
Bohdan the Bison.
Wow. What's with all this "we" shit?
"We" took. "We" nabbed.
It sounds like chicken shit to me,
because me, I bagged 'em solo.
And I'm like a little girl.
You did. Nickel and dime grabs.
Yeah?
Roland Dupree's not nickel and dime.
Nah.
There's no way that was you.
It's not possible.
He was a blood money mercenary.
A ghost geared to go megaton
if anybody got too close.
He had a singular identifying mark.
- He...
- Chewed off his fingerprints.
Yeah. That was me.
Prove it.
Hmm.
He's got no papers.
No girlfriend.
No family to reach out to.
So what's Udai's next move?
Go to ground maybe?
Nah.
He's been in a 3-by-6
for the last nine years.
He's not hiding in a hole.
- It's Con.
- Take it.
Hey, baby, baby.
Yeah. I'm here with Jet now.
Yeah. Oh, yeah?
Hey, when we get this buttoned up,
Cons will make you tiramisu.
- You come to the house.
- Yeah, sure.
Thanks, Con!
Yeah. Probably gonna be at this all night.
Love you too, baby.
Udai wouldn't hide in a hole,
but he'd hide in a box.
Like that Captain Saturday, the dealer
who hid in his own shipping container?
Exactly. The only way
Udai gets off Europa without papers
is if he stows away in
an interplanetary container freighter.
And where would he slip
into one of those unseen?
Sorting station!
Let's go.
Hey, hey,
don't forget Connie's Tupperware.
First words out of that pretty mouth
better be an apology.
You asked me for Gunther,
my best hit man, I sent him to you.
No questions asked.
As a show of good faith between us.
But I get him back in a box.
It was unfortunate.
So who was this extraordinary mark
who had the skills to end Gunther?
It's...
immaterial.
Is it?
Reparations will be made.
Handsomely.
So what else
have you come here to give me?
Opportunity.
You think you and I are the same?
I think we both like making money.
And the Elders
are preventing us from doing that.
You're just pouting 'cause they shut down
your Red-Eye distro.
And you think they won't find out
what you're into.
We are all subject
to their dispositions, are we not?
They need
to be killed.
The stones on you.
Those fossils are the only thing
standing between us
and absolute power.
The temple is impenetrable.
You couldn't get to them.
And even if you did,
you'd never survive the Kobun's blades.
Sounds like you've thought about it.
And who takes over?
You?
Not alone.
We must uphold the Syndicate traditions.
Three at the top. You, me,
and Santiago.
- He wouldn't.
- He will.
If you ask him.
Don't underestimate the Eunuch.
He's vile in ways you could never imagine.
Oh, you think he doesn't have any balls,
but that's not
how Santiago got his moniker.
Enlighten me.
You ever seen those pruning knives
they use in the vineyards?
Perfect for taking grapes off the vine.
He used that knife
on the first man that wronged him.
Carved on him for days.
Until finally, he took off his balls.
- Mm.
- He did it to send a message.
In his words...
You'll never know true power
until you've tasted the testicles
of a man who has wronged you.
Well, tell him...
I have two to give him.
Percent, that is, of my net.
Plus
the Ganymede territories.
Same for you.
Good deal.
But it's a no from me.
Unless...
your wife sings for me.
Consider it my cherry on top.
It's a small ask.
It's not a small ask. She's my wife.
See, this is why I miss your partner.
At least when he was around
you were a bit muzzled.
Now, Fearless, he had it all.
Ruthless, level-headed,
and a better killer than you'll ever be.
Fuck Fearless! You know what?
I don't need you.
The deal is off.
Let's go.
Julia?
♪ Swath me ♪
♪ In honey ♪
♪ Wrap me ♪
♪ In stars ♪
♪ This world has teeth, my love ♪
♪ And I bear the scars ♪
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
Wow! How did you...
Well, I had to get close enough to him
to see his gnawed little fingers.
Right, right.
And we all knew he was armed
to the teeth with weapons.
Mmm.
But what most didn't know,
the guy loved to tango.
Once I had visual confirmation,
all I had to do was disarm him.
And after I took his brass cat,
I whispered, "Dip me."
Play dead.
Come on, dude,
you're punking my story. Play dead.
And that is how I duped Dupree.
Respect.
Unadulterated respect.
Stick with me, kid,
you might learn a thing or two.
I'm all ears.
Mmm.
What are you looking at?
I am not giving you a beer.
Okay.
Forget what I said before.
Now you've got my full respect.
This shower-bath-shower thing,
life-changing.
- Right?
- Yes!
Oh.
Talk to me about the loofah thing, please.
Okay. So when it comes to loofahs,
there are no bad choices.
Now me, I like the classic body mitt.
But if you want to rip-shit riot...
I do.
Loofah on a stick.
Check for busted custom seals.
Shit.
The running's over.
You?
That's right, Udai.
Don't shoot.
I was just doing what he told me.
Look...
I'm not gonna kill you.
I just need the truth.
Who pulled the trigger on me?
Chalmers? Was it Chalmers?
No.
No.
No.
Tell me it wasn't you.
Things happen, Jet, in life.
Shit you don't see coming.
What things?
Debt, bills, parking tickets.
You know, things.
You could have come to me.
I could have done a lot of things.
I chose to go to them.
The Syndicate.
It was a nice arrangement.
They needed a guy on the inside,
I needed a lot of money.
Win-win.
So you let me twist.
I was their man now.
They were paying me to protect them,
but you wouldn't let it go!
- I was doing my job.
- Yeah, and that's the rub!
I lost everything because of you!
I'm sorry.
Ah, I'm sorry
I've got to put you down like this.
Asshole.
Hands! Let me see 'em!
Jet?
Fad killed Udai?
You kill Fad?
I'll call it into IAB.
Let them know our suspect is DOA.
- You knew Fad was dirty?
- Yeah.
Been tracking him for months
trying to build a case.
If we'd got to Udai first,
he'd have given up Fad.
You just killed the only man in creation
that can clear your name.
Shit, Jet.
You've got the worst luck I've ever seen.
Yeah.
I'm aware of that.
What now?
As far as I'm concerned,
these two dirtbags shot one another.
You should take off
before those cherries get here.
Bird was the better player.
You humiliated me
in front of that fucking cow!
The minute you told Mao the plan,
you needed her to agree.
So I gave her what she wanted.
You got what you needed.
And since you owed her
for Gunther...
What was that about?
Vicious!
So who was this extraordinary mark
who had the skills to end Gunther?
You're drinking Kudo again?
I was feeling nostalgic.
Fuck.
Fearless.
Oh, my God.
Fearless is alive.