Columbo (1971–2003): Season 0, Episode 0 - Ransom for a Dead Man - full transcript
A brilliant tort attorney gets rid of her boring husband by faking his kidnapping and keeping the ransom. The FBI may be fooled, but not Columbo.
Les, I'll tape a memo for you on the
Bronson matter tomorrow.
As far as the Delfor Incorporation suit
is concerned... they've got me.
As far as I can see
they're holding firm,
They want 300,000 dollars, and
they want delivery tomorrow night...
They've got me.
Leslie, I thought...
Hello, Pat. Leslie.
Listen. About our tennis date...
I know. I've been very forgetful
lately.
Please call me at the office
tomorrow at 12:15 sharp.
Just say "tennis" and I'll remember
to put it on my office calendar.
All right Pat. Goodbye.
When did you sustain
these injuries, Mr. Crowell?
This September 16, Friday,
8:30 in the evening.
You were admitted to a hospital
for emergency care on that night?
Yes, I was. St. John's Hospital,
Santa Monica.
Your Honor, I would like to introduce
these hospital records as Exhibit A.
Mr. Crowell, what was the extent
of your injuries due to your fall?
My back was hurt real bad.
Objection, Your Honor.
The plaintiff is not competent
to give expert medical testimony.
Sustained.
I would like to introduce Exhibit B.
A full doctor's report on the
plaintiff's condition,
showing damage to the lumbar region
of the spine...
...with concomitant nerve
damage...
...resulting in partial paralysis
to the left side of his body.
Did you find out anything?
No one's seen or heard from him
since he left Phoenix.
Did you check the hospitals?
I've had Nancy calling all morning.
Not a thing.
What about the police?
Zero. Shall we...
Let me think about it for a while.
Objection. Irrelevant and immaterial.
Sustained. The answer may go out.
Shall we put out
a missing person's report?
I'll do it myself, after lunch.
How goes it here?
We have a nice middle class jury. Their
dislike of the insurance companies...
...is second only to their distaste
for working class people.
Mr. Crowell, you are a punch press
operator, is that correct?
Have you ever been on welfare before?
Objection.
Sustained.
That night that you fell down the stairs
in the defendant's apartment house,
where had you been prior to your
accident?
At a cafe across the street.
In point of fact, Mr. Crowell,
according to the bartender there,
you had at least three drinks,
and no dinner,
before you left the cafe,
and returned to your apartment.
And not being able to see the stairwell
steps properly, you fell.
Objection, Your Honor.
Counsel is testifying and assuming
facts not in evidence.
The plaintiff alleges the stairs
were improperly lit.
Although the plaintiff may well
have been.
Objection.
Sustained.
Court will be recessed until
one o'clock.
I've convinced my client to discuss
a possible settlement.
I'm sure you have.
My office, in 10 minutes?
Mine at 12:30.
It looks good. Very good.
I'll get your insurance company off
the hook cheaply this time.
I've been all over that building of yours
and you'd better start maintaining...
in minimum safety standards or the next
time somebody may get killed.
Hi, Mrs.Williams, Michael.
Have you heard anything?
There's still no word from
Mr. Williams. I've tried everywhere.
Thank you Nancy. Bring in your pad.
We'd better outline a settlement,
he'll be here soon.
What time do you have Michael?
12:15.
At last they're asking $150,000.
My guess is that he'll say that his
client is ill and needs cash,
and offer to settle for half.
And we'll tell him that his client is
losing and he'll take what he can get...
...which is nuisance value
at $10,000.
That's hitting him pretty hard.
Les? One word, tennis.
Don't forget.
What? Who is this?
Hello?
What is it?
You'd better call the police.
That man on the phone said he's
got my husband.
I want men posted here and here.
But keep them out sight.
I don't want a lot of worried neighbors
calling the police every 5 minutes.
Mr. Carlson.
Hoffman, this is Carlson.
We don't want any press leaks on this.
Now listen, I don't want to have to
add up all the favors you owe me.
And I'm sure you don't want me
to either.
We'll stay out of the papers for
the time being Mrs. Williams.
Thank you.
Is that tap in ready?
Not quite yet, sir.
We'll be able to monitor any phone calls
that come in through this Mrs. Williams.
Will you be able to trace the calls?
Maybe. Unfortunately the kidnapper
is...
...usually smart enough to keep the
calls short so we won't have the time.
But with this tape we can make
voice prints at the lab.
That sometimes gives us a lead
on making identifications.
There's something I have to ask you,
I want you to be completely honest
with me.
Of course.
After I pay the ransom,
what are the chances of my getting
my husband back?
All right, I'll be honest with you
Mrs. Williams.
There's no way of knowing.
All we can do is hope for the best.
We'll do everything we possibly
can.
Oh, of course you will. I know that.
Look Mrs.Williams. Let's try to take
an optimistic point of view on this?
He's probably just fine.
You'll have him with you in
another 24 hours.
That's all I want.
Excuse me.
Carlson.
Yes, I'll hold.
Mrs.Williams?
Lieutenant Columbo. Local police.
I seem to have dropped my pen out
here somewhere.
Just a minute.
Would you like some help?
Oh, no, that won't be necessary,
thank you very much.
I'll just take another quick
look...
I can get a flashlight.
Oh really, don't bother. It's all
right. I've got some matches.
It's no trouble.
Oh really, it's not that important,
it's just a pen.
You see, it was engraved,
that was the only reason.
But I'll buy another one
and I'll have that one engraved.
You see the pen itself was
worthless...
Is that it?
Where?
There.
Is everything all right
Mrs.Williams?
Lieutenant Columbo's lost his pen.
Oh listen, don't bother him
about it.
Lieutenant Columbo?
Oh yes. How do you do?
How are you?
Uh, Mrs. Williams, I think that
we can forget about the pen now.
Would you like me to get you
a flashlight?
No really, it's not that important.
That last call was from the police.
They found your husband's car.
Was there any sign of violence?
None whatsoever.
How do you suppose they
stopped it?
The car was found near a stop sign.
So we assume that when your husband
pulled up to the intersection,
the kidnappers found the
opportunity...
Oh, Lieutenant.
Yes, gentlemen this is Lieutenant
Columbo, our local police liaison.
How do you do?
As I was saying, the stop sign
suggests that you...
Is there something we can do
for you Lieutenant?
Uh, well I dropped by to tell you
that they found the car.
We already have that information.
I can see that.
How's the tap in coming?
Not yet.
Feel perfectly free to stay
if you like Lieutenant.
Oh, thank you very much.
Jerry, I'd like you to get a man...
Check out the houses in the area
where the car was found.
Somebody may have seen something
or heard something last night.
Start from Sunset and work your
way up.
Oh, and Hammond, be sure to get
the lab report...
...on the briefcase and the
luggage found in the car.
Mr. Carlson, do you suppose that
the kidnappers...
...followed him all the way
from Phoenix?
Well, I doubt that Mrs.Williams.
But they must have known when he
left Phoenix.
That's what makes us think that
they may have had someone there...
...checking out the time of
departure.
You see if that's true,
they could notify their
confederates here and they could...
The Lieutenant would like to see
the ransom note.
Mmm? Oh, oh certainly.
Do you know exactly what time
your husband would've left Phoenix?
Excuse me.
May I see the envelope please.
No, no, I didn't.
Neither did anyone in my office.
Hammond, which police garage would
they have taken the car to?
Downtown.
I'll arrange for our people to run
a set of fingerprints.
You know, strange thing
Mrs.Williams.
When you look at the route
your husband must have taken...
What is that? An aerial map?
Oh, I see.
What's it for?
It came with the instructions from
the kidnappers.
Oh, they sent instructions?
What were they?
Well, Mrs. Williams is to fly alone
north along this highway.
When she reaches this point on
the map,
she takes a heading out across
the desert.
Now, there'll be a flashing light
signal right about there,
and the money is to be dropped in
a bag.
The usual warnings. No cops.
When is the drop?
That we don't know. Like it says,
they'll call us tonight.
Now listen Miller, the victim's car
has been picked up by the LAPD.
They've got it in the downtown garage.
What I want you do to is run a
fingerprint check on it for us, will you?
You fly a plane?
By yourself?
No kidding.
No kidding.
Yeah, they'll probably give you
a little static but...
We're going on the basis that
the victim crossed the state line...
Excuse me. How's it going?
Fine, fine. Be through in a few
minutes.
We'll have to wait till he gets off
the phone before we can check it out.
Fascinating.
Right. Well you let me know
if you have any problems. Right.
Can I help you Lieutenant?
No. Just browsing.
For anything in particular?
Because if there's anything you'd
like, I'd be only too happy to help.
Oh. Thank you very much.
Mrs.Williams?
Uh... men's room?
Oh the powder room is up those
steps,
down the hall and first door
on your right.
Have you got that?
First door on your right.
One, two, three, four...
House is cold.
I must say Mrs. Williams, you're
bearing up through this very well indeed.
It may seem like it,
but if it weren't for you.
Well, that's very kind of you
Mrs.Williams.
But we just do what we can,
that's all.
You're very modest.
Tell me, do you think you'll find
any trace of fingerprints in the car?
Frankly, I doubt it. It's a very
professional, well planned operation.
See they knew what time your husband
was coming from out of town,
They know about you flying a plane.
Now, I think the only fingerprints
we'll find will be your husband's.
And yours of course.
Did you find it Lieutenant?
Oh yes, very well ma'am.
Thank you.
Listen I have to tell you
Mrs. Williams that...
you've got some beautiful place
here.
You just make yourself at home.
Say you know the soap you have
in the bathroom?
The ones shaped like little
lemons?
Well I was almost afraid to use
them.
But that's what they're there for
Lieutenant, to be used.
Well if you don't mind my asking...
when you use one and you put it
back in the plate,
how do you keep it from sticking
to the others?
It's a problem.
That's what I figured.
Do you know what I think?
I think, since we're all going
to be waiting here,
that I'm going to fix us all dinner.
Oh, that won't be necessary Mrs.Williams.
We can have something sent in.
Oh please, let me do it,
it will keep me busy.
All right, thank you.
Mrs.Williams?
Don't you have any live in
servants?
Oh, must be the same problem
everywhere.
If you want something done,
you gotta do it yourself.
How is that, Lieutenant?
Oh, I was just saying, you pay
a lot of money for help...
...and you end up doing the
cooking.
Well you see, my housekeeper's been
on vacation for the last week, so...
Oh I see. So you've been here alone.
Well listen, if there's anything
I can do to help peel potatoes,
whatever, you just feel free.
Oh you'll be the first to know.
Les?
Mrs.Williams?
Paul?
They've got me. They want
300,000 dollars.
When?
Tomorrow night.
Just follow instructions.
Paul! Paul!
Play it back. Make sure we
got all of it.
That's this way.
From this point on the highway to
here...
...over a 150 miles of desert.
No way we can cover all of it.
- Les.
- Paul?
They've got me. They want 300,000
dollars.
Tomorrow night.
Just follow instructions.
I'm not going to take any chances
with my husband's life.
There's nothing to worry about
Mrs.Williams.
We'll arrange to have you followed
by helicopter.
Give you plenty of room.
I know you will. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to sound like that.
It's quite all right Mrs.Williams,
we understand how you feel.
I think I'll go upstairs.
I'll be in my room if you want me.
That's a good idea.
We'll be covering the place all
night so you rest easy.
All right, that's it for tonight
fellas.
Let's wrap it up and go home.
I'll get this tape to the lab
right away.
- Good night, sir.
- Good night.
Check with you in the morning.
Well Lieutenant, I guess that's
it for tonight.
Lieutenant?
Let's call it a night huh?
Oh I'm sorry.
Thinking there. Unique woman.
What's that?
I say she's an exceptional woman.
What do you mean?
Well when the phone rang
she ran to the phone,
she picked up the receiver and...
She never asked her husband
if he was all right.
I don't see anything strange
about that.
The woman was frightened
under stress.
That's right. She was.
She was under stress.
See I just can't help thinking
that...
If I was in the hands of
kidnappers and...
...my wife didn't ask me if I was
okay, I'd think about that.
What's your point, Lieutenant?
Point? No point.
Just that she's a unique person.
Good night, Lieutenant.
Now if you'll just initial here
and sign here.
On all three copies.
300,000 dollars. All yours.
We got all the serial numbers?
Yes, sir. The bank was very cooperative
in helping us mark the money.
We certainly appreciate your help.
You're welcome.
Apart from your savings, trust accounts
and municipal bonds,
we naturally were forced to sell
all of your stocks...
...at a considerable loss.
I'm sorry, but there was no other
alternative.
I know that, Mr.Perkins, but this is
no time to worry about money.
Of course, Mrs.Williams.
I brought a bag, Mrs.Williams.
Oh thank you. That won't be
necessary. I have a bag.
This should do it.
If you don't need me any longer,
gentlemen.
Thanks again.
Mrs.Williams?
We've got a priority clearance on
that air corridor marked on the map.
You'll be all by yourself.
What about you?
We'll be holding a position
about 2 miles behind you.
You promise to keep your people
clear of the area.
The Highway Patrol Units all have
their instructions.
If they spot a car picking up the
money,
they just make an identification
and then let it pass.
Chances are they'll get the money
and clear out...
...before anyone gets a chance
to get near them.
So I wouldn't worry too much
about that Mrs.Williams.
I'm concerned about my husband's
life.
Of course.
If you gentlemen will excuse me,
I'll change.
All set, Mrs.Williams?
I'm ready.
All right. Let's go.
You ride in the rear.
Certainly, certainly.
When you want to talk,
press this button.
When you want to listen,
just release it.
835 Romeo, take off.
You're clear 835 Romeo.
What was that?
What was what?
I think there's something wrong
with the motor.
Take it easy Lieutenant.
Everything's just fine.
This is 835 Romeo.
We read you 835 Romeo.
I'm approaching north bound
freeway and descending...
... to 1000 feet. Air speed 150.
We're holding a position
on your heading.
Air speed 150.
How much further is it?
How much further is it?
How much further is it?
She'll notify us as she approaches
the Palmdale turnoff.
Is that near?
Do you see that highway down there
to your right?
Yes I do.
She'll be heading off across the
desert from the next coordinates.
This is 835 Romeo.
Approaching coordinates. Begin
new heading 20 degrees northwest.
We read you.
Air speed at 150.
This is 33 Foxtrot to all ground
units.
We're approaching the Palmdale turnoff.
Maintain radio silence until visual
contact is established.
Right.
This is 835 Romeo.
835 Romeo. I've established
visual contact...
... with a light at spot access
road by coordinates 28.
We read you.
Circling now to make drop.
This is 33 Foxtrot to special
highway patrol...
units 12 and 22. Move toward access
road near map coordinates 28.
Drop completed. Over and out.
They got it.
Any sign of them?
No, sir. There's a highway
only half a mile that way...
...with a lot of heavy traffic.
They must have gotten lost in that
before we even got here.
We knew that going in, didn't we?
All right, let's go home.
Lieutenant. Lieutenant Columbo.
Let's go.
Hey Lieutenant.
Lieutenant, I'll take that.
Are you coming, Lieutenant?
No, why don't you go ahead.
I'm going to take a little walk...
...clear my head, you know what
I mean.
How is my father?
What are you doing here?
How is he?
Have you heard from him?
No, not yet.
But you paid the kidnappers
the ransom money.
When will they bring him back?
We don't know.
I uh...
I wasn't expecting you.
After I got your cable, I caught
the first plane out of Zurich.
There was only a 30 minute layover.
You didn't have to come.
What you mean is you didn't
want me to.
What I mean is that there's
nothing for you to do here.
Let's drop the polite charade Leslie.
I hate you as much as you hate me.
Maybe more.
And you don't have to play the
martyred stepmother to me anymore.
I've outgrown that.
So you see, all the expensive
education in Switzerland...
...isn't a total loss.
Margaret, we're both tired,
we're both upset.
I'm sure neither of us wants to say
anything they don't mean...
that we may be sorry for later.
Why don't we get some sleep?
Tomorrow may be a long day.
Margaret, I'm worried.
I love him too.
I haven't been able to sleep.
I'm terribly nervous.
Margaret, I'm afraid.
I don't want anything to happen
to him.
I know, I know.
Don't worry. Don't worry.
A little early for the late show.
No calls?
Except to say they haven't heard anything.
They've got fuzz of some kind out
on the street watching the house.
Federal agents.
There's nothing in the paper
about Daddy or the kidnappers.
We've kept it out of the press
and off the radio and the television.
I was waiting for the news.
Where are you going?
I have a date in court.
How can you do that?
I mean, how can you function?
It seems like a strange time
to play lady lawyer.
Someday when you take on
responsibilities,
you'll find out that you don't
always have a choice...
...that you have to function,
no matter what.
I guess I'm lucky
I'm still irresponsible.
Because all I can think about
is my father.
No more than I.
Why don't you try to occupy yourself
with something Margaret,
I mean something besides television and
running up overseas telephone bills.
You might find it'll pass the time
more quickly.
I'll call you the moment
I hear anything.
Leslie.
Good luck.
With your case.
Thank you Margaret.
Now when their attorney cross
examines you about the accident, cry.
About what?
Everything.
Especially when he asks you how fast
you were going when you hit their car.
Excuse me.
Just sit down there.
Give me the brief. Mike.
Leslie.
Have you found my husband?
Can we talk to you privately
for a moment?
You can tell me here.
I think we'd better speak privately.
Just tell me. Did you find my
husband?
Please Mrs.Williams.
Will you tell me. Is he all right?
Your husband is dead, Mrs.Williams.
Are you all right Mrs.Williams?
Give me a moment.
Can we get you a doctor?
I'll arrange to have you driven
home.
Get my bag and things.
I'm very sorry.
Lieutenant.
Did she ask where the body was?
No.
She didn't ask how her husband was
killed, did she?
No.
That's what I thought.
All right Lieutenant,
what's bothering you now?
No, nothing.
Something's bothering you.
It's just that up until now,
you know she was very cool and
she was very composed.
And she suddenly fell apart
in front of other people.
I don't see anything so strange
about that.
No? Convenient maybe?
Conve... look Columbo,
if you think she had something...
...to do with the kidnapping just
come out and say so.
Look, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.
You asked me what was bothering
me and I told you.
Let's understand this one thing.
If you start harassing this woman,
I'm going to take it upstairs.
This is not just a kidnapping.
This is a murder now.
And I kind of figure that's my
department. I'll see you around.
I gave Margaret an injection
and put her to bed.
She'll be asleep soon.
Oh good.
Take two of those before
you go to bed.
They put you out
all night long.
Thank you. I can't thank you enough.
Really, all of you. I...
We'll let you get some rest now.
You're so brave.
Call me if you need me.
Good night darling.
Take care of yourself.
Mrs.Williams, we'll be keeping a man
on the house for the next few days.
Is there anything else we can do?
No thank you.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Let us pray.
O Lord, we implore you to grant
your dead mercy to this servant,
That he who held fast to your will
by his intentions,
May not receive punishment in return
for his deeds,
So does the true faith united him with
the throng of the faithful on earth,
Your mercy may unite him with
the company of the choirs...
...of Angels in Heaven,
through Christ our Lord.
Eternal rest grant upon him, O Lord,
And let perpetual light shine on him.
May he rest in peace.
May his soul and the souls of
all the faithful departed,
Through the mercy of God,
Rest in peace.
My deepest sympathy to you
Mrs.Williams. I pray you be comforted.
God's peace be with you.
Leslie?
Yes, Margaret?
This is what you wanted, isn't it?
Are you all right?
I'm all right.
I'm all right. It's nothing.
I'm all right.
Are you all right?
Yes. Thank you.
Who are you?
I'm Lieutenant Columbo.
I'm from the local police.
If there's ever anything you want,
you're not alone.
Remember, I'm always available.
You'd better come.
They're waiting for you.
I see now what you mean about
her, Les.
She's spoiled and completely selfish.
No Pat, you can't blame her.
Paul and I both indulged her
too much I guess. It was our fault.
If she were mine,
stepdaughter or not, I would kick
her out right now, without a dime.
Pat, I think Les should get some rest.
Yes, I think so too.
You've got to make her grow up Les.
Are you all right?
Yes I am now. Thank you very much.
Goodbye Leslie.
I have to tell you how much
I appreciate everything.
You have been such good friends.
Paul loved you. He loved you all.
So do I.
We love you. I'll call tomorrow.
Margaret!
Margaret. Come down here, please.
I know you're up there listening
so you might as well come down.
You called, mother dear?
I think we'd better have a talk.
Of course, mother dear.
Margaret, I'm willing to overlook
the incident at the cemetery.
I'll write it off to adolescent
hysteria.
But I am in no mood to tolerate any
further outbursts, sarcasm, anything.
Of course.
You're making it very difficult for us
to live together.
I think you should go back to school
this weekend.
The school doesn't open for another
month. There's nobody there.
You have friends in Paris.
Visit them.
Leslie, I'm not going anywhere.
I'm staying right here.
Why?
It's my home too.
Margaret, while we're on the
subject of school,
I think we'd better talk about
something else.
Like what?
Finances.
Your father, well, your father and I...
have kept you very sheltered from
our financial affairs but...
...now I think that you are ready
to face certain realities.
I have my own trust account.
You did.
I won't bore you with the details,
but since you're a minor,
your father and I had joint control
of that account.
What happened to it?
In order to pay the ransom I was
forced to close that account out,
along with everything else
that we had.
You're trying to tell me that
we're broke. Is that it?
No, it's not as bad as all that.
My law practice and the firm will
provide us...
...with enough to keep us off the
streets of Beverly Hills.
But there will have to be
certain readjustments.
You mean my allowance.
That's a very good example.
How much of a readjustment?
I don't know, I'll have to see
what I can come up with.
I'll let you know.
In the meantime, while you're here
for the next couple of weeks,
why don't you try to find
yourself a job?
Pick up some extra cash.
Might come in handy.
May I help you?
Lieutenant Columbo, I had an
appointment.
Oh, of course. Goodness,
you're early.
I know.
How did you get in?
Oh, the janitor was nice enough
to let me in.
Mrs.Williams should be here
in a moment.
She's never late for an appointment.
Oh really? Me, I got this terrible
habit. I'm always early.
Whenever I have to be anywhere
I get there ahead of time.
What, are you a legal secretary?
Believe it or not, I'm an attorney.
I'm called an associate,
which means that since the secretary
phoned in sick, I have to fill in.
I don't know how you do it.
Do what?
Work for a woman.
Well, it doesn't bother me.
It just so happens that she's one
of the best...
...trial attorneys in this state.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Have I kept you waiting?
No, I was early.
Oh good.
Well, won't you come in?
Shall I hold the calls?
I'm sorry to bother you,
the first day back and all.
That's all right Lieutenant.
I understand the federal people
haven't come up with anything
Nothing. Not a word. Not a clue.
Say, that's some telephone.
yes
What are you... You big on
gadgets are you?
No. I just happen to find
that one a great help.
You see, say that I want to
get in touch with a client to be...
...in court, say, Monday for example.
I just tape a message.
And this machine calls my client
and does it for me.
Boy, that's really something.
You know, today they can do everything
electronically.
I mean, if they wanted to.
I'd bet on that.
You don't mind if I take down
the name of this, do you?
I mean, maybe I could...
...con the department into
getting one for my office.
You have a pen? Thank you.
These things, they really fascinate me.
You know they got a new thing today.
Like if I want to take my wife
to the ballgame,
I just dial this service.
For the tickets.
And it's all done by computer.
It's really... it's unbelievable.
What did you want to see me about
Lieutenant exactly?
Uh... you see Mrs.Williams,
now that a murder has been
committed,
it's my job to look at this case
from all possible angles.
I would think it would be your job
to catch the kidnapper.
Oh, the federal agents are on that.
And of course we have our men
on it too.
Very reassuring.
Yes it is. Because they do a
fine job.
But you see, the thing is with me...
uh...
I'm a strange guy.
Really?
I worry. I mean little things
bother me.
I'm a worrier. I mean...
Little insignificant details,
I lose my appetite, I can't eat.
My wife she says to me, you know,
you can really be a pain.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, I get the general picture.
Why don't you get on with it.
Oh yeah, sure. Right.
Well you see there are certain
things here...
about your husband's kidnapping that...
certain details that...
Does this lighter work?
Well, they really nag me.
Such as...?
The bag, for instance.
Which bag?
The one you dropped from the plane.
The one with the ransom money in it.
Didn't I say which bag it was?
No,you didn't.
I'm sorry. I thought I did.
What about the bag?
I just thought it's funny...
...that whoever took the money
out of the bag,
they didn't take the bag with them.
What's so funny about that?
You figure a kidnapper,
he's afraid to get caught
so he's not likely to stop,
open a bag, take the money out,
then run away and leave
the bag behind.
Well of course you know more than
I do Lieutenant.
But don't people under stress...
...act more out of immediate
emotion than logic?
That's absolutely true.
In fact, I'll go even further.
That's what does most criminals in
eventually.
Well then isn't it safe to assume
that...
...they would open the bag to see
if the money was there.
And then after they saw it,
out of fear or panic,
take the money out of the bag
and run.
Yeah, that's probably right.
That's probably right.
I'm sure that is right.
I mean, I don't mean to defend my
point about the bag...
I was just using that as an example
to show you the kind of person I am.
You understand how details bother me.
In other words, I'm trying to show you
a whatchamacallit of mine, a...
An idiosyncrasy.
Right. Idiosyncrasy.
Gee, that's a good word.
Oh, one of the best.
Anything else?
Uh, no.
No. I guess that's it.
Listen, I want to thank you for
taking the time to talk to me,
I really appreciate that.
It certainly helped straighten things out
in my mind.
Any time, Lieutenant.
Thank you again.
What? Something else?
I don't know what's the matter with me.
One other thing. The angle of
the bullet.
What about it?
Well, the bullet entered your husband's
body at a 45 degree angle.
What's the significance in that?
Well, that means your husband was
standing, and...
See the way you're standing?
Leslie, I thought...
Just the way you're standing.
You see just the way you're standing.
The killer was sitting just the
way I am.
And from this position,
the killer shot him.
I'm sorry.
Could you... a little water
on the table.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
upset you.
That's all right. That's all right.
Please go on with what you
were saying.
Listen, I can come back another
time.
No, really. I'm all right.
I want to hear.
Are you sure you're all right?
There's not much else to say about it,
it's just...
...it's just another one of those
things that bothers me.
I mean, what was your husband doing?
Was he just standing there while
some guy sitting down shot him?
Well at this point,
there's no way of really knowing
what happened is there?
Right. You're right about that.
Right.
But the other thing that was
peculiar...
There's something else?
Your husband, he was shot with
a 22 caliber revolver.
Well most criminals, they use
a 32 or maybe a 38
But this one was different.
It sure was.
And I tried to figure it.
Why a 22?
That's interesting.
Yes, you see, that is interesting.
What if he wanted to fire into
someone,
and be reasonably certain...
...that the bullet didn't have
the velocity to go through the body.
But why?
Because he didn't want any trace...
...of the crime in the room
where he shot him.
Well, you've given these details
of yours a lot of thought Lieutenant.
Listen, I know all these things
don't seem like much.
Put them all together one on top
of the other,
and I'm telling you, that
kidnapping just doesn't add up.
Let me understand you correctly.
Are you implying that this was
perhaps not an ordinary kidnapping?
That's right. That's interesting,
isn't it?
Now what if someone set out
to murder your husband,
and he only made it look like
a kidnapping?
And so the ransom money,
all that was a set up.
Yes, that's possible.
Look how that throws us off.
We're looking for kidnappers
that don't exist.
And in the meantime the real killer is
so close by we can't even see him.
And all these little details of yours
fall into place.
The angle of the gun.
Exactly.
Shot by someone he knew
while the murderer was sitting down.
The caliber of the bullet.
Right. Killed in a room where
he didn't want to leave any traces.
No bullet holes in the wall,
for example.
The empty bag?
That's a puzzler.
I can't figure that one out yet.
Lieutenant, in all honesty,
I must tell you you have collected...
...one of the most absurd
hypotheses I have ever heard.
Nothing that you've said proves
anything, one way or another.
I know that. I'm not a lawyer.
And maybe my theories are not
as good as they should be.
But Mrs. Williams, I've been a cop
for a long, long time.
And after a few years, believe me,
the old nose gets to be pretty good.
What do you want from me?
You know how you could help me?
If you would just talk to me
about your husband, yourself,
and maybe I can come up with somebody,
a business associate, a friend...
Who knows? But somebody who might
have a motive to kill him.
And if you can't?
Federal men are working on
the kidnapping. There's no harm done.
Lieutenant, I don't hold with
this murder theory of yours.
Mrs.Williams, you're perfectly
within your rights.
Lieutenant, let me finish. But I will
do whatever I can to help you.
Whoever it was killed my husband,
for whatever reason,
I want him found.
I was hoping you'd say that.
Michael, Lieutenant Columbo and I will
be at the airport if you need us.
Why will we be there?
I try to get in a few hours flying at
least 2 days a week,
and this is one of those days.
Besides, I feel as if I want to
get away from here.
Come with me, we'll talk.
Where? In the plane?
Lieutenant, are you afraid of flying?
Well, it's not one of my favorite
pastimes.
It's a great release for me
being up here Lieutenant.
All alone. Totally free.
I do some of my best thinking up
here.
No kidding.
No kidding.
Mrs.Williams, would you not do that?
You're nervous.
No offense. I'm like this in a car.
I'm always nervous when I'm not
driving.
Would you like to take over?
I beg your pardon?
I could teach you how to handle
the plane in an hour.
Oh yes, well, really that would
be wasted on me.
I don't intend to fly again.
You make me feel terrible.
Flying is a wonderful experience.
I've ruined it for you.
No, you haven't. I've never been
crazy about flying actually.
That's because you've never done it.
What we don't know, we fear.
Take the controls.
No, I'd rather not, thank you.
Try it. I want you to feel
what happens.
Really, that's very, very kind of you,
and I appreciate that.
Why don't you just describe
it to me?
I want to show you how easy
it is Lieutenant. Are you ready?
Ready for what?
Here we go.
Here. You take the controls.
That's a mountain up ahead.
What do I do?
Turn the wheel to the left.
Keep your feet off the rudder pedal,
pull back on the wheel Lieutenant.
No, no, not too much. Not too much.
You've overcorrected.
Keep the plane's nose up.
You see you have to treat the plane
like a woman.
You have to treat it gently.
You have to treat her very
gently. See?
Watch out for that peak.
Pull it up. Pull it up.
Come on, Lieutenant.
Up... Up... Up.
Pull it up.
That was brilliant, Lieutenant.
You're going to make an ace pilot.
Like it?
I'd appreciate it if we didn't
talk for a while.
Sure.
Can you talk yet?
Not yet.
Ready?
Ask me anything, I'll try to help
you any way I can.
Did you ever teach your husband
how to fly?
No, he wouldn't learn.
Any other questions?
Well Mrs.Williams, did your husband
have any personal enemies?
He didn't have any personal enemies.
Everyone admired my husband.
And he was respected by his
fellow attorneys.
They elected him president...
...of the local bar association
for five consecutive years.
But you know sometimes behind
the applause,
there might be somebody who's
envious, somebody...
...who resents all that success.
If there was such a person
I never met him.
What else?
Uh... this is not an easy question.
You understand that?
Go on.
Did your husband ever have...
...any other relationships
with any other women?
My husband was never unfaithful
to me.
How do you know that?
How can you be sure?
Because he had a rigid code of
ethics from which he never deviated.
He must have been quite a man.
There was nobody like him.
I'm sorry I can't be of more help
to you.
No, it's all right. You've
been of help.
This is a process of elimination,
you understand that?
No other questions?
No, I guess not.
Then we'll head back.
You all right?
Yeah. I'm fine.
Did you enjoy yourself?
Well, it was quite an experience.
I mean, I know what you mean now about
relaxing up there.
Because when I first started out
I was very tense, but now...
Anytime. Anytime Lieutenant.
Say, you know I have this cousin Ralph,
his name is Ralph.
Anyway, Ralph was the greatest
at everything, you know, I mean, he...
...thought better, he talked
better, he made out better.
Ralph was the greatest.
I mean Ralph, boy.
that Ralph was something.
I'll tell you that.
I'll never forget him.
Is there a point to this story
Lieutenant?
- A point?
- A point.
No I don't think there's a point,
except, maybe,
you know, maybe what it was is that
when you were talking about your husband...
...in the plane I guess that
reminded me of Ralph.
You see, because Ralph, he was
a bore.
I mean, he was so perfect there
were times I felt like killing him.
Yes, well...
I have to change now Lieutenant.
That's all fellas. My mind
is some place else.
Hey Lieutenant.
What do you say, Bert.
What's the use of kicking.
You know what's your trouble?
You don't have much imagination.
What do you mean by that?
You always look at the menu
and you always order chili.
My god, you know, that's true.
What'll it be?
I'll have the chili, Bert.
See what I mean?
Well, look at it this way.
You'll never be disappointed.
Hey, you got something there.
All right Bullet, chili, for
the Lieutenant and make it special.
Lieutenant Columbo?
I'm Margaret Williams.
You remember me?
Oh yes, of course.
I just didn't expect to see you here.
Listen, try the chili,
you won't be sorry.
Lieutenant, I came to see you.
What? What about?
My father's murder.
Listen, I'm terribly sorry about that.
We just haven't been able to come up
with anything on that.
Well I may have something.
Are you sure you won't have
something to eat?
Lieutenant this is very important.
Oh. I'm sorry. Go ahead.
I'm listening.
Could we move to that booth
over there?
Certainly.
You see, it's the crackers that make
the dish.
I think my stepmother may have had
something to do with it.
You realize what you're saying?
Then tell me.
She never loved him.
She used him to get what she wanted
for herself, a career.
She used his name, his influence,
so that she could become the famous
lady lawyer.
And to be a partner with my father
was instant stature.
Instant success.
When did all this start?
Did this start while your mother
was still alive?
Yes. But he didn't have an affair
with her.
How can you be sure of that?
I knew him. He was faithful...
...to my mother all through
those last years while she was dying.
When did they get together
romantically?
After my mother died.
She talked him into leaving
the State Supreme Court.
Something he'd worked for
all his life but he left it.
Because he wanted to be with her.
Is that when they became partners?
That was the bait.
He did that for her,
so she married him.
Why would she want to see
him dead?
My father came to visit me
in Switzerland during last vacation.
Then he told me what a fool
he'd been.
How she finally told him
that she thought he was a bore,
a dull, tiresome old man, and
she wanted a new arrangement.
He started to cry.
I'd never seen him cry before.
He was to quit the firm,
turn it over to her.
Then they were to live
their separate lives.
She didn't ask for a divorce.
Just that they share the house
and nothing more.
He could never stomach living a lie
like that and he told her so.
She just laughed at him.
I put my arm around him.
I didn't know what else to do.
So what did he do?
He threatened to throw her out
and close down the office.
He dared to stand up to her.
I think that's why he was killed.
Well, now look Margaret.
You've told me some reasons...
...why maybe your stepmother
might have a motive.
But they're all true.
I didn't say they weren't.
But you don't have any proof
of anything.
And you don't have any evidence.
All you have is your assumptions.
You understand?
Besides, how could she do it?
What would she do?
Involve some other people?
That would be very risky
wouldn't it?
Now you see, the only possible
way would be...
No. No that's crazy.
What is it?
It just occurred to me that...
...the only possible way would
be if somehow,
there never was a kidnapping.
She killed him. Then set it
up to look that way.
I never said that. I mean, that's a
crazy idea. Forget that idea.
Lieutenant how do you go about
proving something like that?
Oh goodness. I don't know
how to do that.
Listen, I think you got a crazy
idea there.
I think you ought to forget about it.
Well, I'll be in touch with you
Lieutenant.
All right. All right.
You know, there might be something
in the position of the car seat.
Did you say something?
I said there might be something
in the position of the car seat.
What car seat?
Your father's car.
You know the night they picked up
your father's car, somebody noticed...
...that the car seat had been
moved forward.
I don't understand.
Well, your father is
a very tall man isn't he?
I mean he's six foot or better.
Whoever drove that car last,
they had moved the seat forward.
Like a woman?
Could be.
And of course there's your
father's keys.
What about them?
We never found them.
The keys weren't in the car.
And later on, when we found
your father's body,
the keys weren't on the body
either.
So?
Did you ever notice how just out
of habit,
when you get out of a car, you
automatically reach for the keys?
You see, the last person out of
that car instinctively...
...took the keys with them.
And may still have them.
Police department?
I'd like to speak to Lieutenant
Columbo, please.
Mrs.Williams.
Mrs.Williams.
What is it?
I got the telephone call,
I came right over.
I didn't call you.
I know that. It was your
stepdaughter Margaret.
How did you get in here?
She said she was going to
leave the door open.
I don't understand.
Why? Why did she call you?
She said she had something
to show me.
Margaret. Margaret!
You want me?
Yes. Lieutenant Columbo is here
to see you.
No. I think he's here
to see both of us.
Are you?
I thought he might like to
know that I found these keys.
My father's keyring.
And in your bedroom.
Margaret, you say these are
your father's keys?
Lieutenant could you explain
the importance of these keys?
It isn't at all clear to me.
Well, you see Mrs.Williams,
it goes like this.
The keys were not in the car and
were not on your husband's body,
So we were wondering what
happened to them.
My father was never kidnapped.
He came home that night
and you killed him.
Oh, Margaret.
You really don't know
what you're talking about.
Yes I do!
Oh, Lieutenant, I can't do
anything with her...
It's true. You killed him.
It's true.
Lieutenant you know it's true.
Now, wait a minute.
Just one moment.
Go sit down.
Sit down in that chair.
Listen to me Margaret.
What you're saying might mean
something except for one point.
These are not your father's keys.
Margaret I've had the house watched,
And you had a locksmith up
here yesterday.
And I've got an invoice of every
duplicate key you had made.
Now I'm going to overlook
what you did this time,
But I want you to remember something.
Forging evidence is a crime.
But she killed him.
There is no proof of that.
She did it. I know it.
And you know it.
No, I don't know it.
Yes, you do!
Young lady, don't you ever do
that again.
How could she think a thing like
that Lieutenant?
I always knew that she resented
me.
But I never thought that
she would go this far.
I'm going to have to tell you
the truth Mrs.Williams.
I knew how she felt.
You see the fact is she came to me
the other day and she told me...
...that she thought you were
involved.
I told her it was a far fetched idea.
Yes, but you did manage to tell her
about the missing keys.
You never mentioned them to me.
That wasn't among those...
...little details that was bothering
you so much.
Well, now, Mrs.Williams,
if by some remote chance your
stepdaughter had been right,
it wouldn't have been very smart for
me to have told you now would it?
I understand.
Good afternoon Mrs.Williams.
Lieutenant Columbo.
Thank you for straightening Margaret
out. I appreciate it.
Oh, it was the only thing I could do.
I mean I just can't have you accused
of murder on the wrong evidence.
I know you did it. I know it.
I think you ought to see
a doctor Margaret.
Do you?
Yes I do. I think you're
a very sick girl.
Are you listening?
Yes, but it's very difficult
because I'm so sick.
Margaret why don't you go back
to Switzerland?
I'll put you up at a hotel
until school opens.
I'm staying right here.
You listen to me.
You stay here only as long as
you behave.
One more little drama and I will not
only cut off your allowance,
I will tie up your estate.
You will be on social security
before you see a nickel of it.
Where will all your friends be then
Margaret?
When you haven't the money to buy
them anymore?
Mrs. Williams.
This is Lieutenant Columbo.
Mrs. Williams, I was wondering
if I might drop by to see you.
I've got something to show you,
I think you'll really appreciate it.
It's for you.
Some stunt huh?
You know, I remembered
how you liked gadgets,
I thought you'd get a kick out of it.
You know, something you could show
at parties.
Something to amuse your
friend with. Like that.
Would you like to tell me
how you did it.
Oh, there was nothing to it.
I got one of these special phones
of yours,
I got a tape machine and
I got a timer and I rigged it up...
And that was it.
I'm very busy Lieutenant.
Would you like to tell me what this has
to do with my husband's murder?
You see, I can't get anything past you.
You really got me pegged.
Well I'll tell you what it is.
It just shows that...
...your husband could have been
dead at the time of the phone call.
That his voice could've come from...
...carefully edited tapes from
your office.
You know Columbo, you're almost
likeable in a shabby sort of way.
Maybe it's the way you
come slouching in here...
...with your shopworn bag of
tricks.
Me? Tricks?
The humility, the seeming
absentmindedness,
the homey anecdotes about the family,
the wife, you know?
Really?
Yeah, Lieutenant Columbo,
fumbling and stumbling along.
But it's always the jugular
that he's after.
And I imagine that more often
than not he's successful.
I appreciate that compliment
Mrs.Williams.
And I particularly appreciate it
coming from you.
I must tell you, I'm disappointed
in you Lieutenant,
I'm really very disappointed.
How's that?
You've reduced yourself...
...from veiled threats and
insinuations to vaudeville.
Now what did you really expect
to achieve by this tasteless stunt?
Did you expect me to throw myself
at your feet confessing?
No. No, I didn't think you'd do that.
Well then what good did it do?
I just add it up with
all the other details.
And after a while you're able to see
what really might have happened.
Might have, could have, those aren't
phrases that hold up in court.
You'd be thrown out for lack
of evidence.
Yeah, but you know justice is
strange Counselor.
With some people it's not enough
just to be acquitted.
With some people it's also
necessary...
...to convince the public by
producing the guilty party as well.
I'm familiar with the Perry Mason
school of justice,
Lieutenant. It's not a bad tactic.
Threaten to ruin my reputation
by accusation.
Create a doubt about me.
But then, there's always the other side.
I could always show that
you were hounding me,
maliciously persecuting me.
You're playing a weak hand
Lieutenant.
Either arrest me or get out of here.
I'm going to have to tell you
the truth.
The department took me off
the case.
There's just nothing concrete,
nothing to give to a DA.
There's a murder out in Malibu
they want me to look into.
And you couldn't bear to leave
without saying goodbye huh?
That's right. That's right.
After all that, I almost
forgot to say it.
Goodbye Mrs.Williams.
Goodbye Lieutenant.
Hello.
How do you like it Leslie?
Just giving you the same kind of
welcome home you gave my father.
Stop Leslie.
The first one was a blank.
But who knows.
The next one may be the real
thing.
Margaret, just let me go by. Just...
There's nothing in that gun.
There's nothing.
- Nothing in that gun!
- Margaret!
My father was never kidnapped.
He came home that night
and you killed him!
I know you did it.
I know it. I know it.
Margaret!
Is that what you want?
Out! Out! I want you out of
this house tonight!
Even if you throw me out Leslie,
I won't stop.
I'll hound you, humiliate you,
embarrass you.
Get packed!
You used all of my trust account
to pay the ransom.
And now you think you can get away
with my share of the estate too?
You're not going to get away with it.
I want what's mine.
You want to negotiate, don't you?
I just want what's coming to me.
I'll give you 20,000 a year for
5 years.
That will take you into
your trust.
My trust account was for 25 a year.
Plus a bonus of 5,000.
All in cash.
You are some little girl.
All right. If you're on the
plane tomorrow.
Excuse me. I have a lot of
packing to do.
When you arrive at Zurich,
Mr. Steiner will meet you at the airport.
He'll take you to the bank
and open an account for you.
Goodbye Margaret.
Goodbye Leslie.
Lieutenant Columbo.
Mrs.Williams.
Pursuing or extraditing?
No. Just waiting.
You seem depressed.
Did a criminal get away?
Come on, I'll buy you a drink
for consolation.
I hate to see you unhappy.
You know, that's very nice of you.
I have a heart. I do.
- Yes.
- What will you have Lieutenant?
After you.
Sherry.
I'll have a root beer.
A root beer?
Lieutenant you always manage
to make me feel decadent.
I do? Gee, I never knew that.
I'm sorry... It's nothing personal,
you understand that.
I understand.
I'm going to miss you Lieutenant.
You and all your fascinating
little details.
You know, you're something.
You really are something.
I'm going to try and take that
as a compliment.
Oh, it is.
Is it?
Believe me.
To you.
Here's looking at you, Mrs.Williams.
You know, for a while there
I thought I'll never get her.
All those little details,
they just didn't make it.
There was nothing conclusive.
And then I thought,
it's gotta be the money.
What money?
The ransom money.
When a person engineers
a false kidnapping,
they have to have the money
hidden somewhere.
Now it cleaned you out to raise
the ransom. So I thought...
...I gotta find a way to force
her to use the ransom money.
Thank you very much.
You know and it seemed like
a nutty idea to everybody,
I know it did to my wife.
But I believed in it because...
...Mrs.Williams, you have no
conscience.
And that's your weakness.
Did it ever occur to you that there are
very few people that would take money...
...to forget about a murder?
It didn't, did it. I knew it wouldn't.
No conscience.
Limits your imagination.
You can't conceive of anybody being
any different than what you are.
And you're greedy.
And that's why, as bright as you are,
and you're bright... you believed
that Margaret could be bought.
Get to the point. Come on.
Get to the point.
Well, here's the point Mrs.Williams.
You see.
You were set up.
I arranged it all with Margaret.
I told Margaret that
if she really wanted to nail you,
she had to force you
to use the ransom money.
You're very lucky Lieutenant.
No.
Congratulations. You're very smart.
So are you.
Thank you.
Forgive the charade
about the briefcase.
But we had to make sure
that the money was in there...
...before we arrested you.
I had no alternative.
Would you like to finish your sherry?
I don't think I want it any more.
Would you advise Mrs. Williams of her
rights and drive her downtown?
That'll be a dollar 10 please.
Oh yeah...
Be with you in one minute.
Would you mind if I signed for this?
I'm from the police
Lieutenant Columbo.
I guess that'll be all right.
Oh, thank you very much.
Bronson matter tomorrow.
As far as the Delfor Incorporation suit
is concerned... they've got me.
As far as I can see
they're holding firm,
They want 300,000 dollars, and
they want delivery tomorrow night...
They've got me.
Leslie, I thought...
Hello, Pat. Leslie.
Listen. About our tennis date...
I know. I've been very forgetful
lately.
Please call me at the office
tomorrow at 12:15 sharp.
Just say "tennis" and I'll remember
to put it on my office calendar.
All right Pat. Goodbye.
When did you sustain
these injuries, Mr. Crowell?
This September 16, Friday,
8:30 in the evening.
You were admitted to a hospital
for emergency care on that night?
Yes, I was. St. John's Hospital,
Santa Monica.
Your Honor, I would like to introduce
these hospital records as Exhibit A.
Mr. Crowell, what was the extent
of your injuries due to your fall?
My back was hurt real bad.
Objection, Your Honor.
The plaintiff is not competent
to give expert medical testimony.
Sustained.
I would like to introduce Exhibit B.
A full doctor's report on the
plaintiff's condition,
showing damage to the lumbar region
of the spine...
...with concomitant nerve
damage...
...resulting in partial paralysis
to the left side of his body.
Did you find out anything?
No one's seen or heard from him
since he left Phoenix.
Did you check the hospitals?
I've had Nancy calling all morning.
Not a thing.
What about the police?
Zero. Shall we...
Let me think about it for a while.
Objection. Irrelevant and immaterial.
Sustained. The answer may go out.
Shall we put out
a missing person's report?
I'll do it myself, after lunch.
How goes it here?
We have a nice middle class jury. Their
dislike of the insurance companies...
...is second only to their distaste
for working class people.
Mr. Crowell, you are a punch press
operator, is that correct?
Have you ever been on welfare before?
Objection.
Sustained.
That night that you fell down the stairs
in the defendant's apartment house,
where had you been prior to your
accident?
At a cafe across the street.
In point of fact, Mr. Crowell,
according to the bartender there,
you had at least three drinks,
and no dinner,
before you left the cafe,
and returned to your apartment.
And not being able to see the stairwell
steps properly, you fell.
Objection, Your Honor.
Counsel is testifying and assuming
facts not in evidence.
The plaintiff alleges the stairs
were improperly lit.
Although the plaintiff may well
have been.
Objection.
Sustained.
Court will be recessed until
one o'clock.
I've convinced my client to discuss
a possible settlement.
I'm sure you have.
My office, in 10 minutes?
Mine at 12:30.
It looks good. Very good.
I'll get your insurance company off
the hook cheaply this time.
I've been all over that building of yours
and you'd better start maintaining...
in minimum safety standards or the next
time somebody may get killed.
Hi, Mrs.Williams, Michael.
Have you heard anything?
There's still no word from
Mr. Williams. I've tried everywhere.
Thank you Nancy. Bring in your pad.
We'd better outline a settlement,
he'll be here soon.
What time do you have Michael?
12:15.
At last they're asking $150,000.
My guess is that he'll say that his
client is ill and needs cash,
and offer to settle for half.
And we'll tell him that his client is
losing and he'll take what he can get...
...which is nuisance value
at $10,000.
That's hitting him pretty hard.
Les? One word, tennis.
Don't forget.
What? Who is this?
Hello?
What is it?
You'd better call the police.
That man on the phone said he's
got my husband.
I want men posted here and here.
But keep them out sight.
I don't want a lot of worried neighbors
calling the police every 5 minutes.
Mr. Carlson.
Hoffman, this is Carlson.
We don't want any press leaks on this.
Now listen, I don't want to have to
add up all the favors you owe me.
And I'm sure you don't want me
to either.
We'll stay out of the papers for
the time being Mrs. Williams.
Thank you.
Is that tap in ready?
Not quite yet, sir.
We'll be able to monitor any phone calls
that come in through this Mrs. Williams.
Will you be able to trace the calls?
Maybe. Unfortunately the kidnapper
is...
...usually smart enough to keep the
calls short so we won't have the time.
But with this tape we can make
voice prints at the lab.
That sometimes gives us a lead
on making identifications.
There's something I have to ask you,
I want you to be completely honest
with me.
Of course.
After I pay the ransom,
what are the chances of my getting
my husband back?
All right, I'll be honest with you
Mrs. Williams.
There's no way of knowing.
All we can do is hope for the best.
We'll do everything we possibly
can.
Oh, of course you will. I know that.
Look Mrs.Williams. Let's try to take
an optimistic point of view on this?
He's probably just fine.
You'll have him with you in
another 24 hours.
That's all I want.
Excuse me.
Carlson.
Yes, I'll hold.
Mrs.Williams?
Lieutenant Columbo. Local police.
I seem to have dropped my pen out
here somewhere.
Just a minute.
Would you like some help?
Oh, no, that won't be necessary,
thank you very much.
I'll just take another quick
look...
I can get a flashlight.
Oh really, don't bother. It's all
right. I've got some matches.
It's no trouble.
Oh really, it's not that important,
it's just a pen.
You see, it was engraved,
that was the only reason.
But I'll buy another one
and I'll have that one engraved.
You see the pen itself was
worthless...
Is that it?
Where?
There.
Is everything all right
Mrs.Williams?
Lieutenant Columbo's lost his pen.
Oh listen, don't bother him
about it.
Lieutenant Columbo?
Oh yes. How do you do?
How are you?
Uh, Mrs. Williams, I think that
we can forget about the pen now.
Would you like me to get you
a flashlight?
No really, it's not that important.
That last call was from the police.
They found your husband's car.
Was there any sign of violence?
None whatsoever.
How do you suppose they
stopped it?
The car was found near a stop sign.
So we assume that when your husband
pulled up to the intersection,
the kidnappers found the
opportunity...
Oh, Lieutenant.
Yes, gentlemen this is Lieutenant
Columbo, our local police liaison.
How do you do?
As I was saying, the stop sign
suggests that you...
Is there something we can do
for you Lieutenant?
Uh, well I dropped by to tell you
that they found the car.
We already have that information.
I can see that.
How's the tap in coming?
Not yet.
Feel perfectly free to stay
if you like Lieutenant.
Oh, thank you very much.
Jerry, I'd like you to get a man...
Check out the houses in the area
where the car was found.
Somebody may have seen something
or heard something last night.
Start from Sunset and work your
way up.
Oh, and Hammond, be sure to get
the lab report...
...on the briefcase and the
luggage found in the car.
Mr. Carlson, do you suppose that
the kidnappers...
...followed him all the way
from Phoenix?
Well, I doubt that Mrs.Williams.
But they must have known when he
left Phoenix.
That's what makes us think that
they may have had someone there...
...checking out the time of
departure.
You see if that's true,
they could notify their
confederates here and they could...
The Lieutenant would like to see
the ransom note.
Mmm? Oh, oh certainly.
Do you know exactly what time
your husband would've left Phoenix?
Excuse me.
May I see the envelope please.
No, no, I didn't.
Neither did anyone in my office.
Hammond, which police garage would
they have taken the car to?
Downtown.
I'll arrange for our people to run
a set of fingerprints.
You know, strange thing
Mrs.Williams.
When you look at the route
your husband must have taken...
What is that? An aerial map?
Oh, I see.
What's it for?
It came with the instructions from
the kidnappers.
Oh, they sent instructions?
What were they?
Well, Mrs. Williams is to fly alone
north along this highway.
When she reaches this point on
the map,
she takes a heading out across
the desert.
Now, there'll be a flashing light
signal right about there,
and the money is to be dropped in
a bag.
The usual warnings. No cops.
When is the drop?
That we don't know. Like it says,
they'll call us tonight.
Now listen Miller, the victim's car
has been picked up by the LAPD.
They've got it in the downtown garage.
What I want you do to is run a
fingerprint check on it for us, will you?
You fly a plane?
By yourself?
No kidding.
No kidding.
Yeah, they'll probably give you
a little static but...
We're going on the basis that
the victim crossed the state line...
Excuse me. How's it going?
Fine, fine. Be through in a few
minutes.
We'll have to wait till he gets off
the phone before we can check it out.
Fascinating.
Right. Well you let me know
if you have any problems. Right.
Can I help you Lieutenant?
No. Just browsing.
For anything in particular?
Because if there's anything you'd
like, I'd be only too happy to help.
Oh. Thank you very much.
Mrs.Williams?
Uh... men's room?
Oh the powder room is up those
steps,
down the hall and first door
on your right.
Have you got that?
First door on your right.
One, two, three, four...
House is cold.
I must say Mrs. Williams, you're
bearing up through this very well indeed.
It may seem like it,
but if it weren't for you.
Well, that's very kind of you
Mrs.Williams.
But we just do what we can,
that's all.
You're very modest.
Tell me, do you think you'll find
any trace of fingerprints in the car?
Frankly, I doubt it. It's a very
professional, well planned operation.
See they knew what time your husband
was coming from out of town,
They know about you flying a plane.
Now, I think the only fingerprints
we'll find will be your husband's.
And yours of course.
Did you find it Lieutenant?
Oh yes, very well ma'am.
Thank you.
Listen I have to tell you
Mrs. Williams that...
you've got some beautiful place
here.
You just make yourself at home.
Say you know the soap you have
in the bathroom?
The ones shaped like little
lemons?
Well I was almost afraid to use
them.
But that's what they're there for
Lieutenant, to be used.
Well if you don't mind my asking...
when you use one and you put it
back in the plate,
how do you keep it from sticking
to the others?
It's a problem.
That's what I figured.
Do you know what I think?
I think, since we're all going
to be waiting here,
that I'm going to fix us all dinner.
Oh, that won't be necessary Mrs.Williams.
We can have something sent in.
Oh please, let me do it,
it will keep me busy.
All right, thank you.
Mrs.Williams?
Don't you have any live in
servants?
Oh, must be the same problem
everywhere.
If you want something done,
you gotta do it yourself.
How is that, Lieutenant?
Oh, I was just saying, you pay
a lot of money for help...
...and you end up doing the
cooking.
Well you see, my housekeeper's been
on vacation for the last week, so...
Oh I see. So you've been here alone.
Well listen, if there's anything
I can do to help peel potatoes,
whatever, you just feel free.
Oh you'll be the first to know.
Les?
Mrs.Williams?
Paul?
They've got me. They want
300,000 dollars.
When?
Tomorrow night.
Just follow instructions.
Paul! Paul!
Play it back. Make sure we
got all of it.
That's this way.
From this point on the highway to
here...
...over a 150 miles of desert.
No way we can cover all of it.
- Les.
- Paul?
They've got me. They want 300,000
dollars.
Tomorrow night.
Just follow instructions.
I'm not going to take any chances
with my husband's life.
There's nothing to worry about
Mrs.Williams.
We'll arrange to have you followed
by helicopter.
Give you plenty of room.
I know you will. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to sound like that.
It's quite all right Mrs.Williams,
we understand how you feel.
I think I'll go upstairs.
I'll be in my room if you want me.
That's a good idea.
We'll be covering the place all
night so you rest easy.
All right, that's it for tonight
fellas.
Let's wrap it up and go home.
I'll get this tape to the lab
right away.
- Good night, sir.
- Good night.
Check with you in the morning.
Well Lieutenant, I guess that's
it for tonight.
Lieutenant?
Let's call it a night huh?
Oh I'm sorry.
Thinking there. Unique woman.
What's that?
I say she's an exceptional woman.
What do you mean?
Well when the phone rang
she ran to the phone,
she picked up the receiver and...
She never asked her husband
if he was all right.
I don't see anything strange
about that.
The woman was frightened
under stress.
That's right. She was.
She was under stress.
See I just can't help thinking
that...
If I was in the hands of
kidnappers and...
...my wife didn't ask me if I was
okay, I'd think about that.
What's your point, Lieutenant?
Point? No point.
Just that she's a unique person.
Good night, Lieutenant.
Now if you'll just initial here
and sign here.
On all three copies.
300,000 dollars. All yours.
We got all the serial numbers?
Yes, sir. The bank was very cooperative
in helping us mark the money.
We certainly appreciate your help.
You're welcome.
Apart from your savings, trust accounts
and municipal bonds,
we naturally were forced to sell
all of your stocks...
...at a considerable loss.
I'm sorry, but there was no other
alternative.
I know that, Mr.Perkins, but this is
no time to worry about money.
Of course, Mrs.Williams.
I brought a bag, Mrs.Williams.
Oh thank you. That won't be
necessary. I have a bag.
This should do it.
If you don't need me any longer,
gentlemen.
Thanks again.
Mrs.Williams?
We've got a priority clearance on
that air corridor marked on the map.
You'll be all by yourself.
What about you?
We'll be holding a position
about 2 miles behind you.
You promise to keep your people
clear of the area.
The Highway Patrol Units all have
their instructions.
If they spot a car picking up the
money,
they just make an identification
and then let it pass.
Chances are they'll get the money
and clear out...
...before anyone gets a chance
to get near them.
So I wouldn't worry too much
about that Mrs.Williams.
I'm concerned about my husband's
life.
Of course.
If you gentlemen will excuse me,
I'll change.
All set, Mrs.Williams?
I'm ready.
All right. Let's go.
You ride in the rear.
Certainly, certainly.
When you want to talk,
press this button.
When you want to listen,
just release it.
835 Romeo, take off.
You're clear 835 Romeo.
What was that?
What was what?
I think there's something wrong
with the motor.
Take it easy Lieutenant.
Everything's just fine.
This is 835 Romeo.
We read you 835 Romeo.
I'm approaching north bound
freeway and descending...
... to 1000 feet. Air speed 150.
We're holding a position
on your heading.
Air speed 150.
How much further is it?
How much further is it?
How much further is it?
She'll notify us as she approaches
the Palmdale turnoff.
Is that near?
Do you see that highway down there
to your right?
Yes I do.
She'll be heading off across the
desert from the next coordinates.
This is 835 Romeo.
Approaching coordinates. Begin
new heading 20 degrees northwest.
We read you.
Air speed at 150.
This is 33 Foxtrot to all ground
units.
We're approaching the Palmdale turnoff.
Maintain radio silence until visual
contact is established.
Right.
This is 835 Romeo.
835 Romeo. I've established
visual contact...
... with a light at spot access
road by coordinates 28.
We read you.
Circling now to make drop.
This is 33 Foxtrot to special
highway patrol...
units 12 and 22. Move toward access
road near map coordinates 28.
Drop completed. Over and out.
They got it.
Any sign of them?
No, sir. There's a highway
only half a mile that way...
...with a lot of heavy traffic.
They must have gotten lost in that
before we even got here.
We knew that going in, didn't we?
All right, let's go home.
Lieutenant. Lieutenant Columbo.
Let's go.
Hey Lieutenant.
Lieutenant, I'll take that.
Are you coming, Lieutenant?
No, why don't you go ahead.
I'm going to take a little walk...
...clear my head, you know what
I mean.
How is my father?
What are you doing here?
How is he?
Have you heard from him?
No, not yet.
But you paid the kidnappers
the ransom money.
When will they bring him back?
We don't know.
I uh...
I wasn't expecting you.
After I got your cable, I caught
the first plane out of Zurich.
There was only a 30 minute layover.
You didn't have to come.
What you mean is you didn't
want me to.
What I mean is that there's
nothing for you to do here.
Let's drop the polite charade Leslie.
I hate you as much as you hate me.
Maybe more.
And you don't have to play the
martyred stepmother to me anymore.
I've outgrown that.
So you see, all the expensive
education in Switzerland...
...isn't a total loss.
Margaret, we're both tired,
we're both upset.
I'm sure neither of us wants to say
anything they don't mean...
that we may be sorry for later.
Why don't we get some sleep?
Tomorrow may be a long day.
Margaret, I'm worried.
I love him too.
I haven't been able to sleep.
I'm terribly nervous.
Margaret, I'm afraid.
I don't want anything to happen
to him.
I know, I know.
Don't worry. Don't worry.
A little early for the late show.
No calls?
Except to say they haven't heard anything.
They've got fuzz of some kind out
on the street watching the house.
Federal agents.
There's nothing in the paper
about Daddy or the kidnappers.
We've kept it out of the press
and off the radio and the television.
I was waiting for the news.
Where are you going?
I have a date in court.
How can you do that?
I mean, how can you function?
It seems like a strange time
to play lady lawyer.
Someday when you take on
responsibilities,
you'll find out that you don't
always have a choice...
...that you have to function,
no matter what.
I guess I'm lucky
I'm still irresponsible.
Because all I can think about
is my father.
No more than I.
Why don't you try to occupy yourself
with something Margaret,
I mean something besides television and
running up overseas telephone bills.
You might find it'll pass the time
more quickly.
I'll call you the moment
I hear anything.
Leslie.
Good luck.
With your case.
Thank you Margaret.
Now when their attorney cross
examines you about the accident, cry.
About what?
Everything.
Especially when he asks you how fast
you were going when you hit their car.
Excuse me.
Just sit down there.
Give me the brief. Mike.
Leslie.
Have you found my husband?
Can we talk to you privately
for a moment?
You can tell me here.
I think we'd better speak privately.
Just tell me. Did you find my
husband?
Please Mrs.Williams.
Will you tell me. Is he all right?
Your husband is dead, Mrs.Williams.
Are you all right Mrs.Williams?
Give me a moment.
Can we get you a doctor?
I'll arrange to have you driven
home.
Get my bag and things.
I'm very sorry.
Lieutenant.
Did she ask where the body was?
No.
She didn't ask how her husband was
killed, did she?
No.
That's what I thought.
All right Lieutenant,
what's bothering you now?
No, nothing.
Something's bothering you.
It's just that up until now,
you know she was very cool and
she was very composed.
And she suddenly fell apart
in front of other people.
I don't see anything so strange
about that.
No? Convenient maybe?
Conve... look Columbo,
if you think she had something...
...to do with the kidnapping just
come out and say so.
Look, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.
You asked me what was bothering
me and I told you.
Let's understand this one thing.
If you start harassing this woman,
I'm going to take it upstairs.
This is not just a kidnapping.
This is a murder now.
And I kind of figure that's my
department. I'll see you around.
I gave Margaret an injection
and put her to bed.
She'll be asleep soon.
Oh good.
Take two of those before
you go to bed.
They put you out
all night long.
Thank you. I can't thank you enough.
Really, all of you. I...
We'll let you get some rest now.
You're so brave.
Call me if you need me.
Good night darling.
Take care of yourself.
Mrs.Williams, we'll be keeping a man
on the house for the next few days.
Is there anything else we can do?
No thank you.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Let us pray.
O Lord, we implore you to grant
your dead mercy to this servant,
That he who held fast to your will
by his intentions,
May not receive punishment in return
for his deeds,
So does the true faith united him with
the throng of the faithful on earth,
Your mercy may unite him with
the company of the choirs...
...of Angels in Heaven,
through Christ our Lord.
Eternal rest grant upon him, O Lord,
And let perpetual light shine on him.
May he rest in peace.
May his soul and the souls of
all the faithful departed,
Through the mercy of God,
Rest in peace.
My deepest sympathy to you
Mrs.Williams. I pray you be comforted.
God's peace be with you.
Leslie?
Yes, Margaret?
This is what you wanted, isn't it?
Are you all right?
I'm all right.
I'm all right. It's nothing.
I'm all right.
Are you all right?
Yes. Thank you.
Who are you?
I'm Lieutenant Columbo.
I'm from the local police.
If there's ever anything you want,
you're not alone.
Remember, I'm always available.
You'd better come.
They're waiting for you.
I see now what you mean about
her, Les.
She's spoiled and completely selfish.
No Pat, you can't blame her.
Paul and I both indulged her
too much I guess. It was our fault.
If she were mine,
stepdaughter or not, I would kick
her out right now, without a dime.
Pat, I think Les should get some rest.
Yes, I think so too.
You've got to make her grow up Les.
Are you all right?
Yes I am now. Thank you very much.
Goodbye Leslie.
I have to tell you how much
I appreciate everything.
You have been such good friends.
Paul loved you. He loved you all.
So do I.
We love you. I'll call tomorrow.
Margaret!
Margaret. Come down here, please.
I know you're up there listening
so you might as well come down.
You called, mother dear?
I think we'd better have a talk.
Of course, mother dear.
Margaret, I'm willing to overlook
the incident at the cemetery.
I'll write it off to adolescent
hysteria.
But I am in no mood to tolerate any
further outbursts, sarcasm, anything.
Of course.
You're making it very difficult for us
to live together.
I think you should go back to school
this weekend.
The school doesn't open for another
month. There's nobody there.
You have friends in Paris.
Visit them.
Leslie, I'm not going anywhere.
I'm staying right here.
Why?
It's my home too.
Margaret, while we're on the
subject of school,
I think we'd better talk about
something else.
Like what?
Finances.
Your father, well, your father and I...
have kept you very sheltered from
our financial affairs but...
...now I think that you are ready
to face certain realities.
I have my own trust account.
You did.
I won't bore you with the details,
but since you're a minor,
your father and I had joint control
of that account.
What happened to it?
In order to pay the ransom I was
forced to close that account out,
along with everything else
that we had.
You're trying to tell me that
we're broke. Is that it?
No, it's not as bad as all that.
My law practice and the firm will
provide us...
...with enough to keep us off the
streets of Beverly Hills.
But there will have to be
certain readjustments.
You mean my allowance.
That's a very good example.
How much of a readjustment?
I don't know, I'll have to see
what I can come up with.
I'll let you know.
In the meantime, while you're here
for the next couple of weeks,
why don't you try to find
yourself a job?
Pick up some extra cash.
Might come in handy.
May I help you?
Lieutenant Columbo, I had an
appointment.
Oh, of course. Goodness,
you're early.
I know.
How did you get in?
Oh, the janitor was nice enough
to let me in.
Mrs.Williams should be here
in a moment.
She's never late for an appointment.
Oh really? Me, I got this terrible
habit. I'm always early.
Whenever I have to be anywhere
I get there ahead of time.
What, are you a legal secretary?
Believe it or not, I'm an attorney.
I'm called an associate,
which means that since the secretary
phoned in sick, I have to fill in.
I don't know how you do it.
Do what?
Work for a woman.
Well, it doesn't bother me.
It just so happens that she's one
of the best...
...trial attorneys in this state.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Have I kept you waiting?
No, I was early.
Oh good.
Well, won't you come in?
Shall I hold the calls?
I'm sorry to bother you,
the first day back and all.
That's all right Lieutenant.
I understand the federal people
haven't come up with anything
Nothing. Not a word. Not a clue.
Say, that's some telephone.
yes
What are you... You big on
gadgets are you?
No. I just happen to find
that one a great help.
You see, say that I want to
get in touch with a client to be...
...in court, say, Monday for example.
I just tape a message.
And this machine calls my client
and does it for me.
Boy, that's really something.
You know, today they can do everything
electronically.
I mean, if they wanted to.
I'd bet on that.
You don't mind if I take down
the name of this, do you?
I mean, maybe I could...
...con the department into
getting one for my office.
You have a pen? Thank you.
These things, they really fascinate me.
You know they got a new thing today.
Like if I want to take my wife
to the ballgame,
I just dial this service.
For the tickets.
And it's all done by computer.
It's really... it's unbelievable.
What did you want to see me about
Lieutenant exactly?
Uh... you see Mrs.Williams,
now that a murder has been
committed,
it's my job to look at this case
from all possible angles.
I would think it would be your job
to catch the kidnapper.
Oh, the federal agents are on that.
And of course we have our men
on it too.
Very reassuring.
Yes it is. Because they do a
fine job.
But you see, the thing is with me...
uh...
I'm a strange guy.
Really?
I worry. I mean little things
bother me.
I'm a worrier. I mean...
Little insignificant details,
I lose my appetite, I can't eat.
My wife she says to me, you know,
you can really be a pain.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, I get the general picture.
Why don't you get on with it.
Oh yeah, sure. Right.
Well you see there are certain
things here...
about your husband's kidnapping that...
certain details that...
Does this lighter work?
Well, they really nag me.
Such as...?
The bag, for instance.
Which bag?
The one you dropped from the plane.
The one with the ransom money in it.
Didn't I say which bag it was?
No,you didn't.
I'm sorry. I thought I did.
What about the bag?
I just thought it's funny...
...that whoever took the money
out of the bag,
they didn't take the bag with them.
What's so funny about that?
You figure a kidnapper,
he's afraid to get caught
so he's not likely to stop,
open a bag, take the money out,
then run away and leave
the bag behind.
Well of course you know more than
I do Lieutenant.
But don't people under stress...
...act more out of immediate
emotion than logic?
That's absolutely true.
In fact, I'll go even further.
That's what does most criminals in
eventually.
Well then isn't it safe to assume
that...
...they would open the bag to see
if the money was there.
And then after they saw it,
out of fear or panic,
take the money out of the bag
and run.
Yeah, that's probably right.
That's probably right.
I'm sure that is right.
I mean, I don't mean to defend my
point about the bag...
I was just using that as an example
to show you the kind of person I am.
You understand how details bother me.
In other words, I'm trying to show you
a whatchamacallit of mine, a...
An idiosyncrasy.
Right. Idiosyncrasy.
Gee, that's a good word.
Oh, one of the best.
Anything else?
Uh, no.
No. I guess that's it.
Listen, I want to thank you for
taking the time to talk to me,
I really appreciate that.
It certainly helped straighten things out
in my mind.
Any time, Lieutenant.
Thank you again.
What? Something else?
I don't know what's the matter with me.
One other thing. The angle of
the bullet.
What about it?
Well, the bullet entered your husband's
body at a 45 degree angle.
What's the significance in that?
Well, that means your husband was
standing, and...
See the way you're standing?
Leslie, I thought...
Just the way you're standing.
You see just the way you're standing.
The killer was sitting just the
way I am.
And from this position,
the killer shot him.
I'm sorry.
Could you... a little water
on the table.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
upset you.
That's all right. That's all right.
Please go on with what you
were saying.
Listen, I can come back another
time.
No, really. I'm all right.
I want to hear.
Are you sure you're all right?
There's not much else to say about it,
it's just...
...it's just another one of those
things that bothers me.
I mean, what was your husband doing?
Was he just standing there while
some guy sitting down shot him?
Well at this point,
there's no way of really knowing
what happened is there?
Right. You're right about that.
Right.
But the other thing that was
peculiar...
There's something else?
Your husband, he was shot with
a 22 caliber revolver.
Well most criminals, they use
a 32 or maybe a 38
But this one was different.
It sure was.
And I tried to figure it.
Why a 22?
That's interesting.
Yes, you see, that is interesting.
What if he wanted to fire into
someone,
and be reasonably certain...
...that the bullet didn't have
the velocity to go through the body.
But why?
Because he didn't want any trace...
...of the crime in the room
where he shot him.
Well, you've given these details
of yours a lot of thought Lieutenant.
Listen, I know all these things
don't seem like much.
Put them all together one on top
of the other,
and I'm telling you, that
kidnapping just doesn't add up.
Let me understand you correctly.
Are you implying that this was
perhaps not an ordinary kidnapping?
That's right. That's interesting,
isn't it?
Now what if someone set out
to murder your husband,
and he only made it look like
a kidnapping?
And so the ransom money,
all that was a set up.
Yes, that's possible.
Look how that throws us off.
We're looking for kidnappers
that don't exist.
And in the meantime the real killer is
so close by we can't even see him.
And all these little details of yours
fall into place.
The angle of the gun.
Exactly.
Shot by someone he knew
while the murderer was sitting down.
The caliber of the bullet.
Right. Killed in a room where
he didn't want to leave any traces.
No bullet holes in the wall,
for example.
The empty bag?
That's a puzzler.
I can't figure that one out yet.
Lieutenant, in all honesty,
I must tell you you have collected...
...one of the most absurd
hypotheses I have ever heard.
Nothing that you've said proves
anything, one way or another.
I know that. I'm not a lawyer.
And maybe my theories are not
as good as they should be.
But Mrs. Williams, I've been a cop
for a long, long time.
And after a few years, believe me,
the old nose gets to be pretty good.
What do you want from me?
You know how you could help me?
If you would just talk to me
about your husband, yourself,
and maybe I can come up with somebody,
a business associate, a friend...
Who knows? But somebody who might
have a motive to kill him.
And if you can't?
Federal men are working on
the kidnapping. There's no harm done.
Lieutenant, I don't hold with
this murder theory of yours.
Mrs.Williams, you're perfectly
within your rights.
Lieutenant, let me finish. But I will
do whatever I can to help you.
Whoever it was killed my husband,
for whatever reason,
I want him found.
I was hoping you'd say that.
Michael, Lieutenant Columbo and I will
be at the airport if you need us.
Why will we be there?
I try to get in a few hours flying at
least 2 days a week,
and this is one of those days.
Besides, I feel as if I want to
get away from here.
Come with me, we'll talk.
Where? In the plane?
Lieutenant, are you afraid of flying?
Well, it's not one of my favorite
pastimes.
It's a great release for me
being up here Lieutenant.
All alone. Totally free.
I do some of my best thinking up
here.
No kidding.
No kidding.
Mrs.Williams, would you not do that?
You're nervous.
No offense. I'm like this in a car.
I'm always nervous when I'm not
driving.
Would you like to take over?
I beg your pardon?
I could teach you how to handle
the plane in an hour.
Oh yes, well, really that would
be wasted on me.
I don't intend to fly again.
You make me feel terrible.
Flying is a wonderful experience.
I've ruined it for you.
No, you haven't. I've never been
crazy about flying actually.
That's because you've never done it.
What we don't know, we fear.
Take the controls.
No, I'd rather not, thank you.
Try it. I want you to feel
what happens.
Really, that's very, very kind of you,
and I appreciate that.
Why don't you just describe
it to me?
I want to show you how easy
it is Lieutenant. Are you ready?
Ready for what?
Here we go.
Here. You take the controls.
That's a mountain up ahead.
What do I do?
Turn the wheel to the left.
Keep your feet off the rudder pedal,
pull back on the wheel Lieutenant.
No, no, not too much. Not too much.
You've overcorrected.
Keep the plane's nose up.
You see you have to treat the plane
like a woman.
You have to treat it gently.
You have to treat her very
gently. See?
Watch out for that peak.
Pull it up. Pull it up.
Come on, Lieutenant.
Up... Up... Up.
Pull it up.
That was brilliant, Lieutenant.
You're going to make an ace pilot.
Like it?
I'd appreciate it if we didn't
talk for a while.
Sure.
Can you talk yet?
Not yet.
Ready?
Ask me anything, I'll try to help
you any way I can.
Did you ever teach your husband
how to fly?
No, he wouldn't learn.
Any other questions?
Well Mrs.Williams, did your husband
have any personal enemies?
He didn't have any personal enemies.
Everyone admired my husband.
And he was respected by his
fellow attorneys.
They elected him president...
...of the local bar association
for five consecutive years.
But you know sometimes behind
the applause,
there might be somebody who's
envious, somebody...
...who resents all that success.
If there was such a person
I never met him.
What else?
Uh... this is not an easy question.
You understand that?
Go on.
Did your husband ever have...
...any other relationships
with any other women?
My husband was never unfaithful
to me.
How do you know that?
How can you be sure?
Because he had a rigid code of
ethics from which he never deviated.
He must have been quite a man.
There was nobody like him.
I'm sorry I can't be of more help
to you.
No, it's all right. You've
been of help.
This is a process of elimination,
you understand that?
No other questions?
No, I guess not.
Then we'll head back.
You all right?
Yeah. I'm fine.
Did you enjoy yourself?
Well, it was quite an experience.
I mean, I know what you mean now about
relaxing up there.
Because when I first started out
I was very tense, but now...
Anytime. Anytime Lieutenant.
Say, you know I have this cousin Ralph,
his name is Ralph.
Anyway, Ralph was the greatest
at everything, you know, I mean, he...
...thought better, he talked
better, he made out better.
Ralph was the greatest.
I mean Ralph, boy.
that Ralph was something.
I'll tell you that.
I'll never forget him.
Is there a point to this story
Lieutenant?
- A point?
- A point.
No I don't think there's a point,
except, maybe,
you know, maybe what it was is that
when you were talking about your husband...
...in the plane I guess that
reminded me of Ralph.
You see, because Ralph, he was
a bore.
I mean, he was so perfect there
were times I felt like killing him.
Yes, well...
I have to change now Lieutenant.
That's all fellas. My mind
is some place else.
Hey Lieutenant.
What do you say, Bert.
What's the use of kicking.
You know what's your trouble?
You don't have much imagination.
What do you mean by that?
You always look at the menu
and you always order chili.
My god, you know, that's true.
What'll it be?
I'll have the chili, Bert.
See what I mean?
Well, look at it this way.
You'll never be disappointed.
Hey, you got something there.
All right Bullet, chili, for
the Lieutenant and make it special.
Lieutenant Columbo?
I'm Margaret Williams.
You remember me?
Oh yes, of course.
I just didn't expect to see you here.
Listen, try the chili,
you won't be sorry.
Lieutenant, I came to see you.
What? What about?
My father's murder.
Listen, I'm terribly sorry about that.
We just haven't been able to come up
with anything on that.
Well I may have something.
Are you sure you won't have
something to eat?
Lieutenant this is very important.
Oh. I'm sorry. Go ahead.
I'm listening.
Could we move to that booth
over there?
Certainly.
You see, it's the crackers that make
the dish.
I think my stepmother may have had
something to do with it.
You realize what you're saying?
Then tell me.
She never loved him.
She used him to get what she wanted
for herself, a career.
She used his name, his influence,
so that she could become the famous
lady lawyer.
And to be a partner with my father
was instant stature.
Instant success.
When did all this start?
Did this start while your mother
was still alive?
Yes. But he didn't have an affair
with her.
How can you be sure of that?
I knew him. He was faithful...
...to my mother all through
those last years while she was dying.
When did they get together
romantically?
After my mother died.
She talked him into leaving
the State Supreme Court.
Something he'd worked for
all his life but he left it.
Because he wanted to be with her.
Is that when they became partners?
That was the bait.
He did that for her,
so she married him.
Why would she want to see
him dead?
My father came to visit me
in Switzerland during last vacation.
Then he told me what a fool
he'd been.
How she finally told him
that she thought he was a bore,
a dull, tiresome old man, and
she wanted a new arrangement.
He started to cry.
I'd never seen him cry before.
He was to quit the firm,
turn it over to her.
Then they were to live
their separate lives.
She didn't ask for a divorce.
Just that they share the house
and nothing more.
He could never stomach living a lie
like that and he told her so.
She just laughed at him.
I put my arm around him.
I didn't know what else to do.
So what did he do?
He threatened to throw her out
and close down the office.
He dared to stand up to her.
I think that's why he was killed.
Well, now look Margaret.
You've told me some reasons...
...why maybe your stepmother
might have a motive.
But they're all true.
I didn't say they weren't.
But you don't have any proof
of anything.
And you don't have any evidence.
All you have is your assumptions.
You understand?
Besides, how could she do it?
What would she do?
Involve some other people?
That would be very risky
wouldn't it?
Now you see, the only possible
way would be...
No. No that's crazy.
What is it?
It just occurred to me that...
...the only possible way would
be if somehow,
there never was a kidnapping.
She killed him. Then set it
up to look that way.
I never said that. I mean, that's a
crazy idea. Forget that idea.
Lieutenant how do you go about
proving something like that?
Oh goodness. I don't know
how to do that.
Listen, I think you got a crazy
idea there.
I think you ought to forget about it.
Well, I'll be in touch with you
Lieutenant.
All right. All right.
You know, there might be something
in the position of the car seat.
Did you say something?
I said there might be something
in the position of the car seat.
What car seat?
Your father's car.
You know the night they picked up
your father's car, somebody noticed...
...that the car seat had been
moved forward.
I don't understand.
Well, your father is
a very tall man isn't he?
I mean he's six foot or better.
Whoever drove that car last,
they had moved the seat forward.
Like a woman?
Could be.
And of course there's your
father's keys.
What about them?
We never found them.
The keys weren't in the car.
And later on, when we found
your father's body,
the keys weren't on the body
either.
So?
Did you ever notice how just out
of habit,
when you get out of a car, you
automatically reach for the keys?
You see, the last person out of
that car instinctively...
...took the keys with them.
And may still have them.
Police department?
I'd like to speak to Lieutenant
Columbo, please.
Mrs.Williams.
Mrs.Williams.
What is it?
I got the telephone call,
I came right over.
I didn't call you.
I know that. It was your
stepdaughter Margaret.
How did you get in here?
She said she was going to
leave the door open.
I don't understand.
Why? Why did she call you?
She said she had something
to show me.
Margaret. Margaret!
You want me?
Yes. Lieutenant Columbo is here
to see you.
No. I think he's here
to see both of us.
Are you?
I thought he might like to
know that I found these keys.
My father's keyring.
And in your bedroom.
Margaret, you say these are
your father's keys?
Lieutenant could you explain
the importance of these keys?
It isn't at all clear to me.
Well, you see Mrs.Williams,
it goes like this.
The keys were not in the car and
were not on your husband's body,
So we were wondering what
happened to them.
My father was never kidnapped.
He came home that night
and you killed him.
Oh, Margaret.
You really don't know
what you're talking about.
Yes I do!
Oh, Lieutenant, I can't do
anything with her...
It's true. You killed him.
It's true.
Lieutenant you know it's true.
Now, wait a minute.
Just one moment.
Go sit down.
Sit down in that chair.
Listen to me Margaret.
What you're saying might mean
something except for one point.
These are not your father's keys.
Margaret I've had the house watched,
And you had a locksmith up
here yesterday.
And I've got an invoice of every
duplicate key you had made.
Now I'm going to overlook
what you did this time,
But I want you to remember something.
Forging evidence is a crime.
But she killed him.
There is no proof of that.
She did it. I know it.
And you know it.
No, I don't know it.
Yes, you do!
Young lady, don't you ever do
that again.
How could she think a thing like
that Lieutenant?
I always knew that she resented
me.
But I never thought that
she would go this far.
I'm going to have to tell you
the truth Mrs.Williams.
I knew how she felt.
You see the fact is she came to me
the other day and she told me...
...that she thought you were
involved.
I told her it was a far fetched idea.
Yes, but you did manage to tell her
about the missing keys.
You never mentioned them to me.
That wasn't among those...
...little details that was bothering
you so much.
Well, now, Mrs.Williams,
if by some remote chance your
stepdaughter had been right,
it wouldn't have been very smart for
me to have told you now would it?
I understand.
Good afternoon Mrs.Williams.
Lieutenant Columbo.
Thank you for straightening Margaret
out. I appreciate it.
Oh, it was the only thing I could do.
I mean I just can't have you accused
of murder on the wrong evidence.
I know you did it. I know it.
I think you ought to see
a doctor Margaret.
Do you?
Yes I do. I think you're
a very sick girl.
Are you listening?
Yes, but it's very difficult
because I'm so sick.
Margaret why don't you go back
to Switzerland?
I'll put you up at a hotel
until school opens.
I'm staying right here.
You listen to me.
You stay here only as long as
you behave.
One more little drama and I will not
only cut off your allowance,
I will tie up your estate.
You will be on social security
before you see a nickel of it.
Where will all your friends be then
Margaret?
When you haven't the money to buy
them anymore?
Mrs. Williams.
This is Lieutenant Columbo.
Mrs. Williams, I was wondering
if I might drop by to see you.
I've got something to show you,
I think you'll really appreciate it.
It's for you.
Some stunt huh?
You know, I remembered
how you liked gadgets,
I thought you'd get a kick out of it.
You know, something you could show
at parties.
Something to amuse your
friend with. Like that.
Would you like to tell me
how you did it.
Oh, there was nothing to it.
I got one of these special phones
of yours,
I got a tape machine and
I got a timer and I rigged it up...
And that was it.
I'm very busy Lieutenant.
Would you like to tell me what this has
to do with my husband's murder?
You see, I can't get anything past you.
You really got me pegged.
Well I'll tell you what it is.
It just shows that...
...your husband could have been
dead at the time of the phone call.
That his voice could've come from...
...carefully edited tapes from
your office.
You know Columbo, you're almost
likeable in a shabby sort of way.
Maybe it's the way you
come slouching in here...
...with your shopworn bag of
tricks.
Me? Tricks?
The humility, the seeming
absentmindedness,
the homey anecdotes about the family,
the wife, you know?
Really?
Yeah, Lieutenant Columbo,
fumbling and stumbling along.
But it's always the jugular
that he's after.
And I imagine that more often
than not he's successful.
I appreciate that compliment
Mrs.Williams.
And I particularly appreciate it
coming from you.
I must tell you, I'm disappointed
in you Lieutenant,
I'm really very disappointed.
How's that?
You've reduced yourself...
...from veiled threats and
insinuations to vaudeville.
Now what did you really expect
to achieve by this tasteless stunt?
Did you expect me to throw myself
at your feet confessing?
No. No, I didn't think you'd do that.
Well then what good did it do?
I just add it up with
all the other details.
And after a while you're able to see
what really might have happened.
Might have, could have, those aren't
phrases that hold up in court.
You'd be thrown out for lack
of evidence.
Yeah, but you know justice is
strange Counselor.
With some people it's not enough
just to be acquitted.
With some people it's also
necessary...
...to convince the public by
producing the guilty party as well.
I'm familiar with the Perry Mason
school of justice,
Lieutenant. It's not a bad tactic.
Threaten to ruin my reputation
by accusation.
Create a doubt about me.
But then, there's always the other side.
I could always show that
you were hounding me,
maliciously persecuting me.
You're playing a weak hand
Lieutenant.
Either arrest me or get out of here.
I'm going to have to tell you
the truth.
The department took me off
the case.
There's just nothing concrete,
nothing to give to a DA.
There's a murder out in Malibu
they want me to look into.
And you couldn't bear to leave
without saying goodbye huh?
That's right. That's right.
After all that, I almost
forgot to say it.
Goodbye Mrs.Williams.
Goodbye Lieutenant.
Hello.
How do you like it Leslie?
Just giving you the same kind of
welcome home you gave my father.
Stop Leslie.
The first one was a blank.
But who knows.
The next one may be the real
thing.
Margaret, just let me go by. Just...
There's nothing in that gun.
There's nothing.
- Nothing in that gun!
- Margaret!
My father was never kidnapped.
He came home that night
and you killed him!
I know you did it.
I know it. I know it.
Margaret!
Is that what you want?
Out! Out! I want you out of
this house tonight!
Even if you throw me out Leslie,
I won't stop.
I'll hound you, humiliate you,
embarrass you.
Get packed!
You used all of my trust account
to pay the ransom.
And now you think you can get away
with my share of the estate too?
You're not going to get away with it.
I want what's mine.
You want to negotiate, don't you?
I just want what's coming to me.
I'll give you 20,000 a year for
5 years.
That will take you into
your trust.
My trust account was for 25 a year.
Plus a bonus of 5,000.
All in cash.
You are some little girl.
All right. If you're on the
plane tomorrow.
Excuse me. I have a lot of
packing to do.
When you arrive at Zurich,
Mr. Steiner will meet you at the airport.
He'll take you to the bank
and open an account for you.
Goodbye Margaret.
Goodbye Leslie.
Lieutenant Columbo.
Mrs.Williams.
Pursuing or extraditing?
No. Just waiting.
You seem depressed.
Did a criminal get away?
Come on, I'll buy you a drink
for consolation.
I hate to see you unhappy.
You know, that's very nice of you.
I have a heart. I do.
- Yes.
- What will you have Lieutenant?
After you.
Sherry.
I'll have a root beer.
A root beer?
Lieutenant you always manage
to make me feel decadent.
I do? Gee, I never knew that.
I'm sorry... It's nothing personal,
you understand that.
I understand.
I'm going to miss you Lieutenant.
You and all your fascinating
little details.
You know, you're something.
You really are something.
I'm going to try and take that
as a compliment.
Oh, it is.
Is it?
Believe me.
To you.
Here's looking at you, Mrs.Williams.
You know, for a while there
I thought I'll never get her.
All those little details,
they just didn't make it.
There was nothing conclusive.
And then I thought,
it's gotta be the money.
What money?
The ransom money.
When a person engineers
a false kidnapping,
they have to have the money
hidden somewhere.
Now it cleaned you out to raise
the ransom. So I thought...
...I gotta find a way to force
her to use the ransom money.
Thank you very much.
You know and it seemed like
a nutty idea to everybody,
I know it did to my wife.
But I believed in it because...
...Mrs.Williams, you have no
conscience.
And that's your weakness.
Did it ever occur to you that there are
very few people that would take money...
...to forget about a murder?
It didn't, did it. I knew it wouldn't.
No conscience.
Limits your imagination.
You can't conceive of anybody being
any different than what you are.
And you're greedy.
And that's why, as bright as you are,
and you're bright... you believed
that Margaret could be bought.
Get to the point. Come on.
Get to the point.
Well, here's the point Mrs.Williams.
You see.
You were set up.
I arranged it all with Margaret.
I told Margaret that
if she really wanted to nail you,
she had to force you
to use the ransom money.
You're very lucky Lieutenant.
No.
Congratulations. You're very smart.
So are you.
Thank you.
Forgive the charade
about the briefcase.
But we had to make sure
that the money was in there...
...before we arrested you.
I had no alternative.
Would you like to finish your sherry?
I don't think I want it any more.
Would you advise Mrs. Williams of her
rights and drive her downtown?
That'll be a dollar 10 please.
Oh yeah...
Be with you in one minute.
Would you mind if I signed for this?
I'm from the police
Lieutenant Columbo.
I guess that'll be all right.
Oh, thank you very much.